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onomatophia · 4 years

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devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

Notes: i literally know nothing about police procedurals so sorry for any of the inaccurate depiction/info. shoutout to tswift for releasing Lover and giving me new titles to work with

Pairing: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke

Summary: Because that's what Haruno Sakura is, a paradox. An enigma he's been trying to solve since he laid eyes on her. Who knew that hidden behind that innocent, angelic face is the leader of Konoha's largest mob?

In which Haruno Sakura is a mob boss and Uchiha Sasuke is a police detective playing a game of cat and mouse. It's a love hate relationship.

—

"Huh," Haruno Sakura muses as her eyes roam about the interrogation room she's in, "I was kind of expecting more of a bare cramped space with nothing but two metal chairs and a flickering lightbulb swinging above while you give me useless threats to provide you with information. You know, like the ones on TV. How very disappointing," she says and gives out mock sigh of disappoinment.

Detective Uchiha Sasuke only continues to look over the folder containing all the information about her, refusing to spare her a glance.

Seated in front of him is temptation incarnate herself. Dressed in nothing but a flashing red suit and black killer heels, Haruno Sakura is a sight to behold. Her skin tight suit is only buttoned on the navel, covering only her stomach and showing off a portion of her black lace bra, giving him a good view of her cleavage that seems to be taunting him everytime he looks up at her. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun, showing off her slender and creamy neck that makes Sasuke clench his fists. She looks like she's straight out of the garden of eden; one look at her and Sasuke feels like he's committing a sin.

He thinks that such glaringly bright color should clash against the pastel pink of her hair but then again, he supposes it's only fitting. Because that's what Haruno Sakura is, a paradox. An enigma he's been trying to solve since he laid eyes on her.

Who knew that hidden behind that innocent, angelic face is the leader of Konoha's largest mob?

Sasuke clears his throat and tries to focus to the task at hand. He has a job to do and being attracted to the fugitive he's been chasing for the last two years is only counterproductive to his work.

"I assume you are aware what you're brought in for, Miss Haruno?"

"Aww, you even used your pet name for me in your workplace. That's very sweet of you, Detective," Sakura says with a saccharine smile.

Sasuke's eye merely twitches at her jibe. "What were you doing in Shimura Danzo's mansion the night he was murdered?"

She leans back in her chair and starts to examine her nails in a bored fashion. "Mr. Shimura was a close friend of Tsunade's, I figured it would be nice to have a chat about the family business with him."

"Family business," Sasuke repeats. "Didn't know that's what you refer to organized crime these days. What kind of business do you have to talk about with the Chief of Konoha's Police Force in the middle of the night, then?"

"I just came for a truce, that's all. The police has been rather meddlesome with my businesses lately." Sakura leans over the table and rests the side of her face on her palm. "So you brought me in here because you think I murdered Danzo, is that right, Detective?"

"You were the last person he saw before he died. Your location was ten minutes away from his mansion during the time of the murder. He was the one who started the investigation against you, giving you a motive to get rid of him. I could go on and on but I don't want to waste time. Either confess now or we find evidence against you," Sasuke says smugly.

Instead of fear and panic, however, Sasuke can only find amusement dancing in her mesmerising green eyes and something tells him that this woman in front of him is up to no good.

"Why Detective Uchiha, that might be the longest thing you've ever uttered to me in the last two years. Should I go on a murder spree so I can improve the communication issues we've been having in our relationship?" Sakura asks innocently.

Sasuke just grits his teeth, "It would be in your best interest to cooperate, Miss Haruno."

"His mansion is quite far from my place so I decided to spend the rest of my night at nearby motel bar. And last time I checked, I don't have the ability to teleport nor do I have a doppelganger so how can I be in two places at once?"

"And it just so happens that CCTV cameras in that motel bar were broken?" he asks sarcastically.

"Not my fault that the owner wasn't good at maintaining their establishment," she replies with a shrug.

"You failed to show us a receipt as proof that you were down at the bar at the time of murder."

Sakura smirks at him. "With this pretty face, would you really expect me to buy my own drink when I can barely finish all the free drinks a few hotties had been sending my way last night?"

Sasuke clenches his jaw, not liking ugly feeling churning in his stomach. He chalks it up to irritation at her, not at the thought of her being with other men. "So Danzo's not the only one to fall prey to your deceptions last night, then?"

Sakura laughs. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you're jealous, Detective."

"You're delusional."

Instead of being offended, she lets out a chuckle instead. "Don't worry, Detective. I slept alone last night if that's what you're worried about. After all, there's only one particular man I want to take home with me every night but he's always annoyed with me whenever we see each other."

Sasuke could feel her heels sliding up and down his leg and if it weren't for his practiced control, he would've shivered right there and then at the contact. He gives her a warning look. "Careful Miss Haruno, if you don't want me to have to handcuff you."

"Ooh. Kinky," Sakura says with a wink.

Sasuke tries to hold back a growl of frustration wanting to come out from his lips. He refuses to rise to the bait and give her the satisfaction of reacting to her taunts.

This woman really knows how to push his buttons.

She's been held in the interrogation room as the prime suspect for the murder and so far, no one has succeeded in breaking her. Even Ibiki Morino, the famed interrogator in their precinct, tried to make her talk but to no avail. She is a tough shell to crack.

Sasuke is about to ask her another set of questions when the door to the interrogation room suddenly opens, revealing the captain of their precinct, Hatake Kakashi. A woman with long blonde hair tied up in ponytail and dressed in a formal black suit stands behind him, holding a briefcase and Sakura's belongings with her.

"Sorry to interrupt Detective Uchiha," Kakashi says as they both enter and then turns to Sakura with an inscrutable look, "but Miss Haruno here is free to go."

Sasuke abruptly stands up, brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Kakashi gives him a look of resignation. "The killer just voluntarily surrendered himself five minutes ago. Detective Uzumaki is processing his statement right now."

"I take it my client can leave now? You've already held her here for twelve hours and it would be better that she not spend any more minute trapped in this place." The woman interrupts, her blue eyes sharp, daring them to challenge her words. Sasuke has seen her with Sakura often and assumes she must be her lawyer.

"Yes," Kakashi replies. "Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Haruno."

But Sakura was not paying attention to him, she was busy locking gazes with Sasuke who is looking back at her with accusation in his eyes.

He thinks her alibi is much too sloppy and that it's awfully convenient that some random murderer decides to confess his crime when he could easily get away as there are no traces of evidence of the murder. He knows, with such certainty, that the woman in front of him is the one responsible for killing Danzo but with her power over Konoha, catching her would be like finding needles in a haystack.

Sakura smiles knowingly at him and turns on her heels, "See you later, Detective."

—

Sasuke stumbles as he opens the door to his apartment. He usually doesn't drink because he can never hold his liquor but today proved to be a very challenging day so when Naruto asked the whole squad to go to the nearby bar, he didn't hesitate to go with them.

"You're home late."

He doesn't startle when he hears her voice, he knows she'll be here. It's Friday, one of the days she reserves only for him.

She's the one who bought this penthouse apartment for him anyway, she can come in whenever she likes. It's an expensive place with a pretty good location and it gives Naruto something to tease him about. With their meager salary as cops and with his family's modest background, his friend cannot fathom how he could afford such a place and thus comes to the conclusion that Sasuke has a sugar mommy. Sasuke cannot count how many times he has decked Naruto for such an insinuation.

He removes his coat and hangs his keys before turning to Sakura who sits by the kitchen counter, dressed in one of his shirts and leiurely sipping wine.

Sasuke clenches his jaw, still quite angry with her. Angry with her for not letting him in on her plans, angry with her for just sitting there and looking so perfect and making his heart stutter every damn time. He feels his body burn as they held their gazes for a moment and he's sure it's got nothing to do with the alcohol he consumed.

Still, he might be stupid for her but he has pride to maintain so he decides to ignore her and head straight to the bedroom, aware of Sakura following him from behind.

She sighs as she leans against the door. "Come on, we haven't seen each other in a week. Are you really gonna be difficult tonight?"

Sasuke stares at her for a moment before returning to his task of divesting his vest.

Sakura groans out loud and steps into the room to come near him. She bats his hand away and starts to unbutton his shirt herself, refusing to look at him while Sasuke continues to scowl at her.

Silence reigned in the room for what seemed like a long time before Sasuke decides to break his resolve and question her. This has often become a game for them whenever they had a row, see who breaks first. Sakura always loses; she is far too impatient to prolong their guessing game and Sasuke can be an immovable mountain when he wants to.

This time, though, it's Sasuke who breaks the silence. "Why didn't you tell me about Danzo?" he asks without preamble.

Right now they are just in his apartment, not in a cold interrogation room. Right now they are just Sasuke and Sakura, not cop and fugitive. No need for theatrics, they shed their masks the moment they walked through the door of his apartment.

With nothing left to unbutton, Sakura only fiddles with ends of his shirt before she sighs and looks up at him. "He was planning to kill you. He was planning to send you and your squad on a suicide mission so he'd still have his hands clean even as he completed his goal."

Sasuke frowns, "I don't remember doing anything that might've displeased him."

"No, but you reopened an old case that might incriminate him."

He doesn't bother to ask how she knows this. She's Sakura, she owns Konoha and she can do anything she wants. He thinks back to the case he and Naruto had been halfway through solving, a case involving a massacre of some politician's family ten years ago.

Sakura nods to the direction of his bedside table where he sees a stack of folders lay. "You might want to have a look at that. It might help with your case."

Sasuke finds it ironic that he's the cop whose job is to protect people and yet it's a wanted criminal who's been doing all the saving.

"You didn't have to do that," Sasuke says. For me, were the words unsaid.

"Well I can't just let you die, then that's one less cop on my side." Sakura then loops her arms around his neck and smiles at him.

Sasuke only shakes his head. "Bullshit, I don't even do anything for you."

It's true. In the past year they've been meeting up in secret, there were no inside informations exchanged between them that could be of use to Sakura. And while he let himself off on the ongoing investigation against her, he does nothing to get her out of the hook either.

They've both agreed that with their arrangement as complicated as it already is, they should try to keep their jobs out of it as possible. This was the first time she's involved herself in his own matters.

"Fine, if you died then I'd have nobody to warm my bed," Sakura ammends playfully.

"You have men, even women, crawling at your feet," he points out.

She narrows his eyes at him and pinches his chest, "Are you really gonna make me say it?"

They stared each other down for a few seconds before Sakura finally cracks. "You're important to me, okay? I don't—I don't know what I'm gonna do if I ever lose you so I'm gonna do everything in my power to not let it happen, even let this whole city burn if it means you're okay."

She doesn't have to say those three words, it already hangs in the air between them. Sasuke has known for quite some time because even with her cold facade, Sakura wears her heart in her sleeve. He can feel it in her kisses, in every lazy Sunday morning sex, in every tomato flavored dish she tries to cook for him but fails, in that fond smile she reserves only for him, in the different places she brings him to and everytime she gives him a peak inside the walls she so carefully built around herself.

"Sakura," he starts to say before he trails off, unsure what to say and what to do. "I..."

He feels the same way but he's afraid to admit it out loud. They've done such a good job of tiptoeing around each other, ignoring the elephant in the room and pretending what they have is just a casual thing, that there are no feelings involved. He's afraid that if they admit their feelings out loud, whatever fragile thing they have would break.

Sakura takes a deep breath and waves him off before he can say anything. "Danzo's been rather meddlesome lately anyways and I needed a distraction for the upcoming shipments to be unnoticed. It's the"

Her words were cut off when Sasuke suddenly pulls her flush against him, slanting his lips against hers as his hands roam about her body and igniting a fire between them that not even deep kisses can extiguish. Sakura responds immediately, tightening her hold on him and kissing him back with the same fervor. He pulls her even closer, wanting to feel every inch of her as they continue kissing like there's no tomorrow.

"You're mine," she says breathlessly when they pull apart, resting her forehead against his.

"Aa," he agrees because what's the use of denying it?

They were silent for a moment, basking in each other's presence before Sakura decides to break it with the troublesome smirk he knows all too well.

"Now where are those handcuffs you promised to use on me earlier, Detective?"

Sasuke's lips twitches into an exasperated smile as he looks down at her and pushes her back down on his bed. "You are nothing but a pain in my ass, Haruno," he says before climbing on top of her and leaning in to kiss her.

He can't help but feel that something just changed between them and something in him relaxes at the thought that they had just taken the plunge and cemented their relationship as something real, something they both want to fight for.

He knows what they're doing is wrong. He should be putting her behind bars; not caging her in his arms, but he can't find it in himself to care. She's got half the cops of Konoha in her pockets anyway, being the one particular cop inside her pants makes no difference.

—

this was supposed to be angsty but it turned out soft and fluffy?? lol

just realized that the main theme of my fics is sakura being badass and awesome and wonderful and sasuke on the sidelines being pussywhipped. i love it

#sasusaku #ssfanfiction #ssfanfic #pia writes

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violethowler · 5 years

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The Winding Detour: An analysis of Shiro’s Character Arc in Seasons 1-7

A common accusation I’ve been hearing ever since Season 6 came out is that the EPs didn’t know what they were doing with Shiro. That they never wanted to bring him back in the first place and just kept shuffling him around to give him something to do.

Not only is this contradicted by several interviews with the EPs, but when you actually look at Shiro’s story over the course of the series, particularly with the added context of his backstory that we get in S7E1 A Little Adventure, there was a clear arc in Shiro’s character from Point A to Point B. It’s not immediately obvious because there were a few unplanned zigzags in the middle.

In a Den of Geek interview in August 2017, LM and JDS say “We weren’t allowed to from the executives. That’s it. He had to come back. That’s pretty much it. We wanted him to be gone for a much longer period of time and we weren’t allowed to.” He was going to be gone longer. Not that hey never wanted to bring him back. JDS also later in the interview adds “Concessions have to be made and we’re still happy with where the story has gone, it just wasn’t our original idea.”

Leaving aside the fact that they’ve said they’re happy with where the story has gone even if it wasn’t their original idea, the biggest indicator that they knew what they were doing with Shiro was the fact that when you look back at Seasons 3 – 7 and connect all the dots not just in the show itself but in the similarities and references to the original 80s cartoon, there is a clear trajectory in Shiro’s arc that led to him serving as the captain of the Atlas.

Debates on the ethics of the clone merger aside, the end result of the Clone Shiro storyline, when combined with the revelations about Shiro’s illness in Season 7, presents his story from Seasons 3 – 6 as meta commentary on how DOTU adapted two similar-looking GoLion characters into a single person via the character of Sven Holgorsen. (Credit to radioactivesupersonic for that analysis, I did not come up with that): The GoLion version, Takashi Shirogane, died and was replaced by his previously-unknown to the audience identical brother Ryou Shirogane. The DOTU version, Sven, survives and returns to the team after a long absence. Voltron: Legendary Defender manages to combine both versions of the story into a single character with all the relevant memories.

And I want to expand on the DOTU/GoLion connections some more. In Beast King GoLion, Takashi Shirogane serves as the mentor for Akira Kogane, Keith’s original GoLion counterpart, and pilots the blue lion before his untimely death. Following his introduction later in the series, Ryou Shirogane serves as a key leader in the resistance against the Galra. In DOTU, both Shirogane siblings are adapted into the character of Sven Holgersson, who instead of dying as Takashi did, was sent to a hospital planet to recover, before being recaptured by the Drule (Galra). He escapes with the help of Romelle, and together they lead a significant rebel cell in the fight against the Drule Empire.

And in Voltron: Legendary Defender, Shiro starts off piloting a Voltron lion, before outside circumstances force him to step down from the role. Clone Shiro cannot initially pilot the Black Lion, and so becomes a leader of the Coalition, helping to coordinate between multiple rebel factions. Then Keith leaves the team, Clone Shiro pilots the Black Lion for a while, and then everything in Season 6 happens, and Shiro and his clone are fused into a single consciousness. After returning to Earth, Shiro quickly rises to become one of the highest-ranking people (if not the highest) at the Galaxy Garrison and serves as one of the leaders of the Coalition following the liberation of Earth in Season 7.

Whether other possible storylines for Shiro would have been better, or how well this storyline was pulled off, is a matter of individual opinion. But it is inaccurate to say that the writers had no plan for Shiro when his arc so closely mirrors that of his DOTU counterpart.

Popular interpretations of the line “I don’t see what’s more fulfilling than being a Paladin” assumed that this meant either Shiro was supposed to be the Black Paladin permanently, or that Clone Shiro would find something that would help him form his own identity. But there are multiple different ways that line can be interpreted, and a lot of fans have interpreted it based on what they wanted to happen, rather than what did happen.

In the context of the finished show – not in hypothetical early season 7 drafts with Black Paladin Shiro that the showrunners alluded to in a post-S7 interview, but the show we have on screen – this line is a type of foreshadowing known as Tempting Fate: where a character makes a hypothetical or rhetorical comment or question and is soon proven wrong.

Lines that typically tempt fate include:

“__ is just a myth” and variations thereof. The myth soon turns out to be completely real.

“Nothing could stop us now”. Something comes along to stop them.

“That sounds easy”. It turns out to be a lot harder.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Do I even need to say it?

“What could be worse then __?” Something turns out to be worse than __.

“Can this day get any worse?” Yes, it can.

To break down a specific example, let’s take a look at The Incredibles:

On their wedding night, Elastigirl tells her husband that if their marriage is going to work, they need to be ready to support each other through thick and thin, the good times and the bad. To which Mr. Incredible responds:

“We’re superheroes. What could happen?”

We then immediately cut to a newsreel announcement detailing how the lawsuits levied against Mr. Incredible for injuries inflicted in the process of saving people’s lives resulted in the government legislating all superheroes into retirement and forcing Mr. Incredible and his wife to give up crime fighting.

While the line is typically used for negative consequences, there are examples where the character being proven wrong is a good thing. A common example would be someone saying, “it can’t get any better than this” and then quickly find out that it actually can get even better.

So, when Shiro says “I don’t see what’s more fulfilling than being a Paladin,” narrative convention dictates that by the time the series is over, he will have found something that is more fulfilling to him than being a Paladin.

And in Season 7, he does.

S7E1 A Little Adventure reveals that despite his fame as the youngest pilot to fly a solo mission to space, the Garrison staff had repeatedly doubted him because of his illness. He was seen as a liability, as not being capable of flying the Kerberos mission despite the records he’s broken and the things he’s achieved. Sam Holt had to argue with Sanda on his behalf just for him to be allowed to fly the mission, and even his then boyfriend was telling him, “you can’t do this. You’re too weak. You’re not capable enough for this.” Though Adam didn’t put it in as many words as Sanda did, the message Shiro received was the same.

But S7E11 Trial by Fire is where things come full circle. He’s back on Earth, his illness healed, and he’s literally come back from the dead. With Sanda’s betrayal and Sendak going on the offensive, everyone around him is scrambling and panicked, but when Shiro starts giving orders everyone immediately follows them. No one makes any comment about his rank or his age or his health or his fitness for the job. The man who left home sick and doubted is now the person they all look to for leadership.

At New York Comic Con 2017 a few weeks before the release of Season 4, the showrunners spoke of Shiro’s role in the coming season, saying that with Keith now flying the Black Lion, Shiro needed to adjust to a support role where he isn’t always fighting on the front lines in the thick of the action himself.

Unfortunately, Keith’s VA had schedule conflicts that forced the writers to pause Keith’s leadership development and write him off the team until Season 6 to accommodate the limited time Steven Yeun could make it to the recording studio. As a consequence of Keith’s arc being put on hold, so was Shiro’s, as Keith’s absence forced the writers to put Shiro back in the Black Lion until Keith came back in Season 6.

But what we see of his tenure as the captain of the Atlas in Seasons 7 and 8 lines up as an organic culmination of that arc. And in addition to that particular arc, a recurring theme we’ve seen throughout Shiro’s character development is learning that like Sam Holt told Admiral Sanda in The Last Stand: Part 1, you can’t control every situation. There is repeated pattern across the first seven seasons that because of his illness and his trauma, Shiro has difficulty accepting help from other people and allowing himself to be vulnerable:

S7E1 A Little Adventure: In a flashback to before the Kerberos mission, he tells Adam, “You don’t need to protect me. This is something I need to do for myself.”

S1E9 Crystal Venom: Shiro only starts to grow agitated and directly question Sendak during the memory transfer once Coran and the other Paladins have left. One of the taunts he hears from Sendak is “The others don’t know what you know. They haven’t seen what you’ve seen.”

S2E1 Across the Universe: Compared to his optimism when leading the rest of the team and the way he constantly encourages everyone, Shiro is more flippant and vulnerable with Keith in this episode, particularly in how casually he treats having a glowing wound from Haggar in his side.

S2E3 Shiro’s Escape: When the team questions his decision to look for the mysterious Galra who helped him escape, he overrules their objections and insists that his memory of the event is real despite the Paladins’ valid concerns.

S2E7 Space Mall: Tries to work with the Black Lion to strengthen their bond and drive Zarkon out. When the Lion apparently takes off on its own, he panics at the lack of control and starts demanding the lion turn around. When Zarkon attacks him on the astral plane, Shiro wins by realizing that he needs to trust the Black Lion as a partner instead of using it as a tool.

S3E6 Tailing a Comet: After the trauma of escaping from a Galra laboratory a second time, Shiro is more closed off with Keith compared to their solo interactions in S2E1. He asks Keith “How many times will you have to save me before this is over?” His tone sounds exhausted and resigned, as if he feels he shouldn’t need someone to save him.

S4E1 Code of Honor: Despite saying S1E4 that “People have to want to be part of a team. They can’t be forced,” Shiro continues trying to force Keith to continue as the Black Paladin despite Keith’s clear reluctance.

S5E3 Postmortem: Shiro argues with the team and leverages his authority as the Black Paladin when they question him about the risks of taking Lotor to the Kral Zera.

S5E4 Kral Zera: When the rest of the team won’t support his decision, Shiro flies Lotor to Fayiv by himself.

S5E6 White Lion: Shiro attempts to open up to Lance and admits that he hasn’t been feeling like himself lately.

S6E1 Omega Shield: When the mental link between him and Haggar causes him headaches during the missing, Shiro brushes aside the team’s concern, repeatedly telling them “I’m fine”. Later, he pretty much has a panic attack when Honerva forces her way into Oriande and the backlash reverberates through the link, distracting the paladins at a crucial moment when lives were on the line and their plan required Shiro’s prosthetic hand in order to succeed.

S6E3 Monsters and Mana: Shiro admits at the beginning that he’s “trying to take a mental break”, and says at the end that after playing the game with the team his head “feels so much better.”

S7E6 The Journey Within: When Lance comments on Shiro just now bringing up a way to recharge the lions, Shiro sarcastically comments that “I guess having my consciousness transplanted from the infinity of Voltron’s inner Quintessence into the dead body of an evil clone of myself has left me a little out of sorts these last few weeks.” This is the most open he’s been about anything bothering him since the end of Season 5, and he’s saying it to the entire team at once and not just Keith or Lance.

There is a noticeable pattern here: Shiro started the series suffering from PTSD, but kept it hidden from the team, only attempting to deal with his trauma when he was alone. Because of his disease, he had already developed a mentality of “I have to be strong. I need to do this by myself,”by just bottling up his problems so that others don’t see his pain. And once he’s the Black Paladin, expected to be “in control at all times”, he simply continues with that pattern of behavior. The only person he ever allows to see past the level-headed mask he presents to the rest of the team is Keith.

But the events of S3E5 bring further trauma, tearing him from a place of safety and security back into the hands of the people who violated him. After his escape not even Keith is allowed to see past the walls he puts up. From there, his behavior in Seasons 3 – 5 is driven by his need to re-establish that feeling of safety and security that he had back in Seasons 1 – 2.

It’s fitting that the ship Shiro now commands is called the Atlas. In Greek Mythology, Atlas was the titan who held up the sky on his shoulder. Nowadays, it’s used to refer to anyone who carries a heavy burden of any kind. Shiro has been carrying the weight of his trauma since the first episode, channeling his need for control into his work as the Black Paladin. But as S6E1 demonstrated, bottling up his pain and dealing with it alone only created more problems. In order for Shiro to truly heal, he needed to learn to share the burden instead of stoically going it alone.

It reminds me of the stigma that still surrounds mental illness today, but in particular, it reminds me of the damaging idea that someone who has mental health problems is somehow weak for seeking help and not dealing with it on their own. And that is the underlying principle of Shiro’s character arc: that you don’t have to deal with your personal demons alone. That it is not weak to seek help and rely on support from the people around you. I believe a verbal acknowledgement of this was cut from Season 8 amidst all the other edits, but the arc is still there even though it unfortunately wasn’t addressed out loud.

So, despite a clear – albeit tangled in the middle due to circumstances beyond the writers’ control – line for Shiro’s arc leading to where he is in Season 7, why do fans continue to insist that LM and JDS didn’t know what they were doing with him after they brought him back early?

Part of it comes down to the fact that, as I mentioned once in a brief post, the main flaw of the show’s writing is that is sometimes relies on the “show don’t tell” maxim a little too much: all of the details are there, but you don’t always notice them because the narrative doesn’t call attention to them.

The other part is that this fandom has an unfortunate habit of making quick judgements about characters and storylines based on first impressions, building theories and head canons around those impressions, and then dismissing anything that contradicted those theories and headcanons as bad writing or a character being OOC. (Remember all the Lance-obsessed antis who acted like he was so fragile and underappreciated he’d drop dead if he wasn’t constantly being praised? Because I do). And the gaps between season drops didn’t help matters.

Due to the way Seasons 3 – 6 were structured and released, we had almost a full year to get attached to our own headcanons and theories as to what was happening with Shiro and Operation Kuron. Fans who believed that S3-6 Shiro was a clone wrote theory after theory where the current Shiro’s status as a clone was discovered and the clone was deprogrammed and allowed to live his own life and develop into his own person separate from Shiro. While fans who didn’t believe the clone theory dug in their heels and continued to argue against Shiro being a clone.

In the end, both sides were wrong, but everyone came together to cry foul because they thought their respective interpretations were better than what the writers ended up going with. While I guarantee that with this fandom’s history there would almost certainly have been backlash no matter what (and I’ll grant you that the ethics of the clone merger are a little iffy), I think that if Seasons 3 – 6 were released as two full 13 episode seasons in 7 months instead of 4 half-seasons over the course of 10 months, it would have been a lot less severe because both sides of the Clone or Not Clone argument wouldn’t have had as much time to become entrenched.

TL;DR: Contrary to popular belief, the writers and EPs knew what they were doing with Shiro. They managed to combine three different characters across two different versions of the IP into a single character with an arc that mirrored the story of the DOTU character that he was based on. His character development in relation to his PTSD was meant to reject the stigma that people with mental illnesses are somehow weak for needing help and support from the people around them. I don’t speak for all Shiro fans, and we can debate about how well the arc was handled and the quality of it until the end of time. But it’s inaccurate to say that the showrunners were just making stuff up as they went along where Shiro was concerned when there is a clear, if tangled, trajectory from Point A to Point B for his character arc.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron meta #character analysis #vld shiro #writing analysis

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m2mtl · 5 years

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(ENG Translation) Fake Cinderella - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 raw (click for the link)

t/n: Heya. Here’s my second release, I’ll try to translate as much as I can while I’m still not that busy. Again, if you find any inaccurate translations (since I usually just make sense of the literal translation by google or systran then rephrase it in a better way), typos or other errors, kindly do point it out. Thanks~

Also, another chapter of the manga was recently released, and I was just wondering if you wanted to retain my translation of the names or the manga’s since it differs slightly (i.e., Alterie = Arthirea, Nadir = Nigel). And that’s it, enjoy~

(7/28/19) t/n: Rephrased some things to make it clearer.

Previous chapter - TOC

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9. The Duke of Elsevert

"Her Royal Highness,"

Upon the call, my mind returns to reality.

In front of me was Count Stasen. This elder knight, who was a strong-bodied warrior, was a man of a few words.

Still, there is a feeling of security that is somewhat strange but reliable. It's really puzzling that this person was also a scholar with the title "Vera."

Thin golden hair, which is believed to be of those from the north... Many people in the north have silver or light gold hair. The color of their eyes are mostly light blue - the count's is also light blue.

(The stranger thing [t/n: pun not intended] is that such a person is the leader of my knight escorts)

"Your Royal Highness, it is the schedule for your return to the royal capital."

On his knees, he handed it over with both hands.

I received it.

"Thank you. I will be in your care."

His eyes widened and he looked somewhat surprised; he stared but immediately went out. Because it was sudden, everyone is busy preparing for our return.

After waking up, I usually only interacted with the maids, but after the incident I began to look closely at the knight escorts. It seems a person has been on the escort mission so as not to be very noticeable until now, but after the "falling incident" and the "attempted poisoning," it seems he can no longer stay that way.

(Don't run away)

That person did not run back to the Imperial Palace, which seems to be safer than here.

The killing intent directed at me... I was clearly aware of it.

So far, I have not completely acknowledged the murderous intent. Although I was told that I was being targeted, it didn't feel real.

However, now it's different.

(My enemy)

An enemy who is aiming for my life.

The fact that you are aiming for my life, it may not yet be known for sure.

But now, I am clearly aware that I am in danger everyday.

I used to go to work, then from work to my home; sometimes I went to hang out or rant to my friends. It was a routine far away from worrying about dangers to my life.

(Retaliation)

I am not a saint.

I’m not a cutesy character that starts to cry when I get tired.

When you hit my right cheek, I would hit back. I know it's unwise, but I'm the type to fight back.

Being alive, that will be my best revenge.

But that alone is not enough.

Because, Ellelucia is no longer here.

(It does not matter if this is misplaced anger. It's fine even if it's an outburst of anger.)

I will do it if I can do it.

I remembered the terrorist attack that happened in the United States. The Great Powers fell into the mud. A vicious cycle in which retaliation calls for revenge... a toxic cycle.

But I can't keep doing nothing anymore.

(But I am still weak ... and these hands are still too small...)

That's why, I cannot pass down judgement with my own hands. To do the same things they do... I cannot kill people with these hands.

I think it is impossible for anyone who has lived in the ordinary 21st Century Japan to carry it out, no matter how much you hate that person, no matter how much you want to kill.

What I can do... that is...

(To find the real mastermind)

He isn't the soup cook who was regarded as the perpetrator.

There was another criminal who did it... it wasn't that cook.

The ones who carried out the orders, of course, would also be guilty.

But, the person who ordered to kill me.

That person is the real culprit.

(Put the mastermind in court)

That was what I thought of as revenge.

I can only do my best indirectly.

That's how I'll move to my goal.

(For now, I'll just gather information)

I can't collect information directly by myself, and it's a shame I have no memory of the falling incident.

Alterie may have seen the culprit.

If I had remembered, I might have solved the problem at once along with this case.

I wish I could go around hearing from all kinds of people like in detective stories, but if I do so, I'll stand out and I can't let the information spread to outsiders.

In fact, I suspected at first that the falling incident might have been Alterie's suicide.

(Because...)

It's because she felt somewhat empty deep inside her heart, which is probably why she was called Puppet Princess.

Even if you didn't exactly jump off yourself, you might have been aware that it was a dangerous place but still went anyway... and then perhaps you may have tried to do it.

The balcony above the lake is windy. It's even more so at night. Alterie is so light that easy to lose balance there... a not-so unintentional accident.

(But now I can say that was not the case)

As "Alterie" gradually comes back to me, it seemed to me that wasn't what happened.

Still, it doesn't mean I understand everything that is in Alterie's heart. I only have this vague feeling.

But if I give it some thought, I can understand even if it's just a bit.

The knowledge I have received from Alterie is what she studied and learned diligently.

(For what purpose...?)

I think it is a proof of her efforts to be worthy of being the crown princess.

If so, such a child would probably not go to a dangerous place by herself.

Because she was well aware of how important her position is to the kingdom.

Now it's clear that the fall was not an accident.

(That's why... I won't run away)

I won't run away and hide somewhere safe.

(It's just that, because this place is not my territory, I'm going back home)

Even though the enemy knows me, I do not know neither the shadow nor shape of the enemy.

So at least, I want a home advantage.

Even so, it's an overwhelming disadvantage.

(But I decided not to run away)

It's alright. I'm not going to jump into danger.

I will not waste the efforts of Alterie up until now.

I am the crown princess.

(I will just pay them back what I owe)

Self defense is essential.

Even if the defense is a little excessive, it will be within acceptable limits. Probably.

The next day, after finishing all the arrangements, I received that the usual morning greetings from the duke.

At the side, maids aside from Lilia were busy carrying the luggage to the carriage. All the knight escorts were also ready, except for the two at the back.

"There was a danger of poisoning. Normal escorts are not enough. We are returning on such a short notice... contact the Imperial Palace and receive instructions from the Crown Prince."

Duke Elsevert fiercely objected when I told him that I was going back to the palace.

I still have a lot to explain as to why I’m returning to the palace.

Well, I understand how he feels. If I return as is without explaining, it would create a big fuss.

"I'm going home."

Still, I clearly told him once more.

The duke was shocked as he stared at me.

It's probably because it's the first time Alterie expressed her intentions like this.

Perhaps, he hasn't heard her speak up before.

"I am going back to the Palace."

I repeated while looking straight into the duke's blue eyes.

His eyes looked blue even with the light.

(Oh...)

The color of my eyes, I knew I inherited it from this person.

"... Do you doubt Elsevert?"

The duke asked, as if squeezing out his voice.

His eyes were turned away... For the first time, I thought that I was truly facing him.

I felt the weight with which he said those words.

He seemed exhausted.

I believe he was a person who is very concerned about appearances.

His short beard is well kept and his platinum blond hair is shiny. There are no wrinkles in his thin and fashionable long coat.

Although he seemed younger than his age of forty-four, his eyes looked empty. He's like an old man in despair and resignation.

I answered, hoping that my words will reach him.

"No."

It was not clear if it was the duke, the ladies-in-waiting or the knight escort who inhaled sharply. Or maybe it was all of them.

But either way, I saw that they properly understood my answer.

I dare not say why.

I do not want to do or say anything unnecessary while I still do not know where the true criminal's eyes are hidden.

So far, my only advantage while I am far away from home is while Alterie is a 12-year-old girl, she has the experiences from my 33 years of living.

At best, you're likely to think that I am still a twelve-year-old naive princess.

"Understood... at the very least, may you permit my son to escort you?"

The duke did not refer to anyone in particular. It's just that he said it in a beseeching tone.

I tilt my head. The duke's son will be an escort?

"The sons of the duke, Lord Dior and Lord Rael, are both part of the Eastern Division."

Lilia explained.

The national army of Dardinia is roughly divided into six divisions. There's the central division and the divisions in the east, west, north and south; then there's the Imperial Guards. (t/n: Just guessed this since it literally translated to "Konoe Division") On the other hand, each aristocrat had a private army. It was not strange that Duke's sons were working in the Eastern Division, as Elsevert was chief for the east.

The Dardinian nobility are just ordinary people except for the legitimate heirs. The second son and so on only have the opportunity of becoming either a priest or a military man.

"I'll allow it."

I nodded and stood up.

The duke bowed with a somewhat relieved expression.

To be honest, no matter how many times we meet, I never recognize him to be my father. Still, I somehow felt that I was connected to this person.

"Thank you for helping me."

"It's no problem. I wish you good health as you go on your way, Your Royal Highness."

The duke says, and as he stands before me, he prays for my safety during the travel.

I nodded in response to that.

It wasn't as if everything was resolved in that instance.

I can never forget how my heart aches when I think of my mother.

However, I felt like I was getting there.

And perhaps, the duke as well.

When it was time to leave, the duke came to send us off.

The duke's figure remained on the drawbridge of the castle until my carriage was out of sight.

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Previous Chapter - TOC

#fakecinderella #fakecinderellachapter9 #englishtranslation #translation

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counttotwenty · 7 years

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Bullet Points: The Fog Clears

A Wondrous Place-part 6 (part 1-5 here, here, here, here and here)

Bullet points are encapsulated scene analysis from the top of each act to the bottom. (each act is bookended by a commercial break)

1. When the scene opens Emma is sitting watching Regina and Snow shoot pool with the Vikings.

Seriously?

I mean I get that she said she wanted to be distracted and didn’t want to talk about Killian leaving but at this point she could get more support in a crowd of strangers than she’s getting from Regina and Snow.

At the risk of repeating myself, the contrast between the Regina/Emma/Snow interactions and the Killian/Jasmine/Ariel interactions is both striking and intentional.

Emma is on her own here. Facing an emotional maelstrom and just trying to hold on. (more on Emma’s state of mind a little farther down)

2. “I tried to write my own story but it just kept coming out with talking animals and canned morals.”

Even though in retrospect we know the bartender wasn’t really Aesop this is a nice little piece of foreshadowing to the troubles of an author coming in the next episode.

Well done!

3. Aesop/Gideon carefully crafts his tale of woe with his relationship to mirror Emma’s and evoke an emotional response from her. He’s manipulating her and in her current emotional state she’s not clear headed enough to see it.

4. So let’s talk for a minute about Emma’s state of mind and how she got there.

Leroy reported he saw Killian get on the Nautilus. He wasn't being shanghaied. He wasn’t at the point of a sword. He was alone and appeared to be acting of his own free will. Emma has no reason to disbelieve Leroy and Leroy has no reason to believe the story goes any deeper than what he saw. There’s a whole lot of incomplete information here but none of it is malicious and there’s no reason for anyone to suspect the situation is anything other than what it appears to be.

The Nautilus is not a place of danger for Killian. There’s nothing about his going there that should raise a red flag. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. It is THE place Killian would run if he needed to think and seek the counsel of a friend (Nemo) and the connection of family (Liam 2).

Emma is the one who told him if he wasn't ready to trust her they needed not to talk for awhile. So in her mind she sees his leaving as him doing exactly what she suggested. Why should she assume there’s anything suspicious about that?

Her packing up his things and moving them to the shed is less about trying to get over him and more about getting some very painful reminders to a place where she doesn’t need to see them constantly.

5. “As soon as things got tough he just ... took off.”

Again, this is a clear indication Emma's thinking is muddled. She and Killian have been through tough times before, chiefly the Dark One arc, and he never fled. But there’s a very significant difference this time.

She’s the one that suggested a separation if he wasn’t ready to trust her. She threw out an emotional challenge and due to Leroy’s reporting she believes Killian failed it.

The fact that her conclusion is based on faulty information doesn’t make it any less painful for her. Especially when she has no idea the information is inaccurate.

6. Aesop/Gideon believes he’s won when he sees Emma broken down and in tears, much like Jafar thought the same when he saw Aladdin in a similar condition.

BOING!!!!

7. When Emma says Regina got what she wanted she’s referring to Emma finally releasing some emotion, not Killian leaving.

And just in case that wasn’t clear the camera cuts immediately to the damp napkin.

Nicely done!

8. “You were probably right. It’s probably what I needed … It’s probably what I need…to move on.”

The “you were right” part of the sentence takes the thought out of Emma’s mouth–in concrete textual terms– and places it in someone else’s. In this case Regina. Emma’s not speaking her own thoughts–she’s parroting what she thinks someone else believes.

And it’s made even more powerful, in Emma’s mind, by the fact that she did indeed finally release her emotions as Regina had been encouraging her to do all night. If you were right about A then you’re probably right about B too.

Emma’s not charting her own course here, she’s being pushed along by the tide.

Also, I count three “probablies” in that sentence. It oozes uncertainty from start to finish.

This isn’t Emma saying SHE wants to move on, it’s exactly the opposite.

9. Snow and Regina finally rustle up some physical support and comfort for Emma after she reaches a decision, albeit an iffy one based on false information, which resulted from a conversation with someone else that they didn’t contribute to at all.

Seriously--Emma needs Killian back pronto. He’s the only effective support system she has.

10. “And if you really know how to get Agrabah back then maybe someone there can help me.”

AGAIN, fantastic growth and development for Killian. He’s not some raging bull railing against the loss of his chance to get back to Storybrooke. He’s still focused on his goal but now fully cognizant of the fact that sometimes you need to help someone else and then give them a chance to help you right back.

This is the next step in his evolution as a hero. He’s not only willing to help himself and his friends and loved ones but he’s willing to help anyone in need.

BRAVO, Jane!! More fantastic ‘show not tel’l storytelling.

11. The answer to what Jasmine has been seeking is in the ring.

BOING!!!

I mean we knew that in regards to Killian and his ring but still ... really beautiful moment.

12. If Jasmine only had one wish left she’d use it for something to benefit the man she loves.

BOING!!! and sniffle.

13. “Losing Agrabah meant I could never have love until I won it back.”

The cut to Killian’s face immediately after that line is spectacular. Because he has struggled with that exact same thought. That he someone had to earn Emma’s love as opposed to taking it as a gift freely given.

BOING!!!!!

14. “The kind of magic that could break any curse.”

Heh. I see you, show.

I’m not saying they’re headed there but they certainly do like to tease the possibility.

15. Once Jasmine’s hero status is cemented, and she actually believes it herself and sees the results of not only her heroic stance against Jafar but her realization that love is not something that has to be earned and is in fact the greatest magic of all, Aladdin is free from the shackles that bound him. Shackles that were there just seconds earlier.

In this case the restraints were physical .. but they can be emotional as well as in the case of another connected couple.

BOING!!!

16. “Let me show you my world.”

Sigh. I saw that coming a mile away but still ...

17. “I’m free.”

Killian’s smile is both adorable and knowing. He’s happy for Jasmine and Aladdin but has also come to a new realization of his own.

Well done!!

18. “Once I hit the water I’ll be home faster than you think.”

BOING!!!!

19. “A shell phone.”

Heh.

20. “I have to go pick up my car from Aesop’s Tables tomorrow.”

In case it isn’t perfectly clear that Emma’s state of mind is foggy we see she was too impaired to drive home. They literally could not do anything more to make it clear Emma is not working with all her faculties intact.

21. Look it’s no secret Henry isn’t my favorite character, and like @lizacstuff I spend a lot of time wishing for his Hogwart’s invite to arrive, but the behavior he has exhibited in this ep is not like him at all and clearly both a connection to Emma (the earbuds and screen leaving him disconnected from the current action thing I mentioned in part 1) and foreshadowing of what’s to come.

22. Oh, stairs. How I love you as a metaphor. Of course Emma is descending the stairs here. It’s an illustration of her emotional condition.

BOING!!!

23. And FINALLY Emma knows the truth and has all the missing information. Just as we watched Killian in this position throughout this ep time to see how Emma acts moving forward.

24. Notice how immediately after hearing Killian Emma shifts into a different mode than the one she’s been in all episode. She’s quickly processing what she sees in front of her. Catches on to fake Aesop. Takes back her strength (it didn’t turn out so well for you last time, you don’t really have me in a helping mood right now, pal). In short, she’s on the express train back to being the old Emma. And all it took was learning the truth --that Killian still loves her and did not willingly leave her.

Killian and their love isn’t what makes Emma strong, she’s a strong woman in her own right, but being secure in his feelings for her helps her tap into her own inner strength.

BOING!!!BOING!!!BOING!!!

25. You better be careful, Gideon. Deals can sometimes backfire on someone even if they feel like they hold the key (ring, tears) that gives them the upper hand.

Jasmine out thought Jafar, do you really think you can out think Emma?

26. Gideon tells Emma she needs to EARN his gratitude. But we learned very clearly in the last act that “earned” is a tricky concept and one that is often misleading.

#ouat meta #Emma Swan #bullet points #6.15 a wondrous place #killian jones

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wishingfornever · 5 years

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2/22/2018 – No Contact: Siesta Thursday

I woke up at 8… fell asleep. Woke up at 11. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1. Staying awake.

Several dreams. The first dream was about my boss’s boss’s boss. Supposed to be a woman. Dreamed I was speaking with her but I can’t remember her face. Makes sense, since I have yet to see her face. Second dream… Esther. This one was different than recent Esther dreams. We were sitting in a room with other people, I was bored and she asked me if I wanted to read an article for couples who broke up and are trying to get back together again. I considered not going, but I reminded myself that I’d do everything I can to keep her. So, I said, “Actually, I would like that very much.”

Finally, the last dream I had, I was reminded that Esther and I no longer speak to each other and this saddened me. I fell asleep and I was crying, speaking to these people who weren’t really there. The room was dark. It was night. There was this woman there as well as several others. The woman wasn’t Ariel, but I had told this woman I loved her but I could never love her as much as I love Ariel. Then while I was crying, I rolled over to see the door open. I was alone at this time and I thought it was this same woman and I told her I’m sorry when she approached me. She got close enough and I tried to kiss her but she pulled back. As did I.

I realized it was my cousin, and apparently she was fired from her job and she was massively depressed, though she wanted to be fired. I reassured her, she left my room, I looked outside to this alleyway (that isn’t there in rl, it’s just these apartments out my window) and I saw a lot of rain. A lot of Mexicans too, like we were actually in Mexico and not a part of Houston that is heavily populated by Mexicans… which wouldn’t be too inaccurate to say, tbh.

Regardless, something told me they were Mexicans. I saw a couple walk down the street and I was jealous. Then I saw a man hit another man on the back of his head with a club. Then the police came. It was a mess.

Perhaps that dream was a reminder that I worry too much about myself when the world outside my window has… well, the burdens of the world. Criminals, cops, and lovers. Idk.

Anyways, the Boss’s Boss’s Boss. Triple B. She was supposed to inspect the store today. Yesterday, I closed. I did a poor job but I discovered… energy shots make my nose itch. It makes sense but I don’t have concrete evidence just yet. It’s very peculiar. Might have something to do with stress? Idk.

Customers are nice to me at work. I don’t know how to react. Several days ago, a woman tried to give me a bag of potato chips and a liter of pepsi. I told her I don’t drink soda and don’t like chips. She was nice and I felt horrible for saying no. Yesterday, I had a can of pringles and a two liter of root beer. I feel like an ass.

Of course, I hated the pringles and the two liter was to fix my water bottle which had become so dented I needed some carbonation to undent it. Worked great, btw.

I was given a box of chinese food from a coworker. Walked home with that. I have to say, it wasn’t my finest moment. Reason being is that there was chicken in it. I felt bad for that. I’m trying to be as vegetarian as possible. :/

Regardless, I ate everything. So consider 21st of February the last day I had meat. I’ll count until the next day I inevitably cheat. We’ll see.

My manager, the one I closed with last night… I legitimately think he hates Mexicans. Dan is his name. He’s the one who referred to customers as “Wetbacks” and on Monday (several days ago) said kid’s in the store were running loose because their parents were irresponsibly drinking and having a party a little bit down the way. I said “Oh, it’s Monday. Mondays are the worst days for partying.”

“Mexicans don’t care,” he said. “They party every night if they could and we have to deal with their kids because of it.”

The last comment, though perhaps not blatantly racist, didn’t sit right with me. The way he said Mexican… that was an issue I had.

Ironically, I had mentioned to the store manager (Jack) of Dan’s “Wetbacks” comment and how it caught me SO off guard. This wasn’t me reporting, I was just gabbing. That day when he said “Mexicans don’t care,” I found out he told Berenice, a shift manager like Dan. I asked him not to tell Dan about it. I don’t want to get involved in Workplace drama and if he knew I was gossiping, there would be a major conflict of interests and working would be… difficult.

I hate working with Dan. He smells, his breath smells, and he’s kind of a hassle. Bad days are made worse with him. I don’t have a lot of faith when working with him. He complains A LOT. Like so much. One of those. I try to be polite, but god damn. Like, he swears up and down that the store would fall apart without him (not those exact words, mind you).

Admittedly, he’s the only one who can do some chores because he is the only manager with a car. But, still. Some of the places he claims to have organized are kind of… crap.

I wonder if I’m just too extensive in my job or if everyone has phoned it in. I swear I’ve phoned it in but I’ve been wrong before.

So, remember how I wanted to message Marjane Satrapi? Ask her for advice? Not feeling so confident, so I won’t be doing that. I looked, and it’s probably a fan page I saw. I don’t have any chance in hell to get guidance from her.

It’s a shame. When she stopped identifying as Iranian, I could relate. When growing up, I pretended I wasn’t Mexican. My dad sort of made it out to be bad, so I thought so too. Now, I don’t want to identify as American but I don’t have anything else to be.

Dennis used to give me a hard time calling me, “Half-Breed.” A lot. It hurt more than I’d let on, but I ignored it. Whenever I mocked him, he was quick to say, “omg, wtf dude?!” but I never pointed it out. I guess I would have when dealing with Esther, but I was too emotional then. Might still be now.

He also called me “Mama’s Boy” a lot with Adriana which wasn’t as bad as half-breed because it was always my dad I had to call or whatever. I knew otherwise but half-breed… eh.

Whatever. Not trying to shit on Dennis for busting my balls. We all did it. Shane was the worst at it, though. Like, laughably bad. Fun times.

Right, Marjane.

I was hoping to get into a discussion with a fellow Marxist and discuss life… how to approach my dad, tell her about Esther, tell her my troubles, just… I need someone I feel I can relate with. Someone wiser than me. I won’t get that with my parents because my dad is part of the problem and my mom is too invested in me.

I really feel alone.

Tomorrow, I’ll message Esther. I’ll call my dad, too. Esther I will try to make quick. I’ll ask her if she’ll want me to change her name or whatever. Try to keep her identities secret. If not, I’ll keep the names how they are because… well, I’m lazy and I really don’t feel like changing ALL the names on a whim. But if she wants me to, I’ll listen. If she blocks me without saying a word, then I’ll assume she doesn’t mind.

Whatever the case, I’ll make it quick. Let her know I still care… perhaps she’ll see that and open up dialogue again. Won’t amount to much, but if there is a chance then this is the way to get there.

Of course, the worst case scenario is she blocks me immediately. The most likely scenario is that she messages me to tell me “Change my name” and then blocks me without saying anything else. The second to best case scenario is that she tells me to change her name, tells me she wishes me well, and then blocks me.

I can almost guarantee dialogue beyond that. Life hasn’t been kind to me, but… idk. Maybe sometime this year, things will get better.

Strangely enough, despite what’s happened since January, I feel like this may be my year. I mean, it started poorly… and continues to be mediocre, but there are a lot of things that are being released that appeals to my interests. Like, Age of Empires Definitive Edition is released (not for steam yet). Kingdom Come Deliverance (which has a bad title) is supposed to be pretty neat, if you can get past his HUGE forehead. Rome II Total War has more DLC being released for it for SOME FUCKING REASON. Doki Doki Literature club is a graphic novel about poetry… poetry.

I can’t play of these things, yet. Like, AoE isn’t for steam or Windows 8, KDC is too graphically intensive, Rome II DLC hasn’t been released yet or I refuse to get at full price, and DDLC is free to download but I won’t be downloading it yet. Why not? I don’t know, I figure I’d wait a little while to play through it myself but it’s already been spoiled for me so no rush.

Adela didn’t go to work today. She was too sick. Which is great because Max wasn’t in here. So, I sort of slept in if you say taking a nap at about noon is sleeping at noon. I have yet to eat and it’s 5. She’s going to barre soon and she’ll leave Max with me. I think I’ll do some exercise, weigh myself after, have breakfast, then do the dishes.

I look a lot thinner than I used to. I’ve lost a lot of belly weight. I also feel stronger than I have in months. I’ve never felt stronger which is perhaps to say I’ve never been weaker. I’m ashamed to admit that. But, I’ll get over it.

Speaking of getting over it, Max is in the room now. He is something of a pest as of late and has been avoiding me. He used to be super chill with me but something’s happened. Now when we’re in the same room, he pesters me until I let him out. He REALLY doesn’t want to even be in the same level as me. Like, he waits downstairs when I’m in the room and when I’m downstairs he’ll be upstairs.

Hrm… Perhaps this started when we stopped giving him treats? I can’t even remember.

He was walking over the keyboard as I was typing. Unfortunately, his anxiety worsened when discord went “BLEEP” and that scared the crap out of him. So, that makes him want to walk on the keyboard. And Max has the worst breath (not as bad as Dan’s, though).

Now that I think about it, everyone at work has bad breath. I hate it. But I’m reminded of myself because I don’t bathe a lot when I’m depressed and I was depressed for a very long time. :/

Eh. I’m bathing more than I ever had and I’ve never been so… emotionally unstable. Things change, I guess.

About to walk max. Tried to brush my hair. Looked in the mirror. Smiled.

I look like the joker if he were chunkier and more Mexican. The comic book joker. The joker there is super skinny, but I have his angry looking smile. Erm…

The reason for this is because I shaved yesterday. No more beard. It’ll grow back. But… I probably shouldn’t shave.

That said, I now way 241.5 pounds. What is that in Metric? Not sure. The US is dumb. But that’s pretty light. Last time I measured myself, I weighed a bit more. I’m still losing weight, but at a slow rate.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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The 6 Most WTF Hollywood Depictions Of Donald Trump

Before he became the inciting incident in the post-apocalyptic thriller that is our age, Donald Trump spent most of his life cultivating the image of a disgustingly wealthy businessman and cameo-worthy celebrity. He was the rich bully of his time, inspiring many movies and TV shows to feature barely fictionalized versions of him as villainous characters meant to symbolize the greed and cynicism of 1980s capitalism. Interestingly, none of the following examples ever went so far as to imagine a future in which this character would become president.

A Trumpian New York City Developer Starts A Hate Campaign Against The Ninja Turtles

It was only a matter of time before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles squared off against the most quintessential of all New York City foes: rising property values.

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In the fourth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show, the Turtles are beleaguered by real estate magnate and rotund blowhard Fenton Q. Hackenbrush, who runs the not so subtly named Donald J. Lofty Enterprises. Hackenbrush wants to demolish the sewers completely and turn them into Donald J. Lofty luxury condos. For that, he needs the Turtles to disappear. (If Hackenbrush is anything like the real Trump, he probably thinks the Turtles are the wrong color to live in one of his buildings.)

In an interview with April O’Neil, Hackenbrush sells his greedy plans to the public on the basis that his sewer reconstruction will “flush out the worst menace in the city: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Of course, the people of New York don’t have any problems with the Turtles, so Hackenbrush forces a group of employees to dress up in those bad Turtle Halloween costumes we all used to wear and go commit crimes.

Then an evil turtle named Slash arrives in the city, and Hackenbrush immediately mocks him as “some kind of foreigner,” but then bribes him into sowing mayhem, fanning the flames of turtle racism.

Hackenbrush is eventually exposed by some ace reporting by O’Neil (New York Times, pay attention). As punishment, he is loudly fired by the actual owner of the company, Mr. Lofty — who looks surprisingly a lot like Fred Trump, Donald’s father. We’re not saying TMNT intentionally created a world in which Fred Trump would repeatedly yell “You’re fired” at his heir, but that’s immediately the best Trump origin story we’ve ever heard.

The Devil’s Advocate Features A Rich Murderer Who Owns Trump Tower

In The Devil’s Advocate, Al Pacino is the titular Devil (not a spoiler; you don’t cast Pacino in a movie about Satan and make him the lovable dad), who has set up a law firm in New York in order to subvert justice and release evil into society. And who is Satan’s favorite client? The guy who lives atop Trump Tower.

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Though it is slightly inaccurate, since he never claims to have the best murders ever, just fantastic.

Alexander Cullen, played by a suitably balding Craig T. Nelson, is a Trump-esque real estate mogul accused of murdering his wife, stepson, and maid — dire straits for a guy based on someone who once bragged he could shoot a person in the middle of the street and get away with it. His arrest immediately prompts Pacino’s law firm of Fire, Brimstone & Ham to send their new ace attorney, Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves wearing his dad’s suit), to defend Cullen. Why? Because, oddly, he’s Lucifer’s best client, having racked up “16,242” billable hours in one year. That’s a lot of shady business.

Warner Bros. Pictures 1.85 years of shady business, to be exact.

But being a hated New York business tycoon and employing a massive team of evil lawyers doesn’t necessarily mean Cullen is a Trump clone, right? Luckily, for the sake of subtlety, when we finally arrive at Cullen’s home, we see that it’s literally Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower. The filmmakers managed to rent it out, preserving its natural appearance as Liberace’s mind palace.

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Warner Bros. Pictures “Try not to touch anything — you’ll get metal poisoning.”

In the end, Cullen is found not guilty, despite Lomax knowing that he murdered those people, thereby finally giving in to his true nature as the son of Satan. That’s right, the Devil’s son loses his innocence by defending Trump. Burn.

A Sci-Fi TV Show Villain Morphs Into Donald Trump … Played By Donald Trump

Night Man was a late ’90s low-budget TV show based on the Malibu Comics series about a San Franciscan saxophone player who can sense evil and wears a laser eye. Despite that, it somehow managed to run for two seasons, possibly because of its reliance on magnificently bizarre cameos — none of which were more utterly mystifying than Donald J. Trump in technically the only real acting credit to his name.

In this episode, Night Man is chasing a face-changing villain called Face to Face, who decides to engage in some quick identity theft to make a large withdrawal from the bank. Who better to transform into than the self-proclaimed richest man in the universe, Donald Trump? (No really, please suggest someone better.) In one of the most perfect sequences in the history of the medium, Face to Face slowly morphs into The Donald, dazzling audiences with peak mid ’90s CGI while simultaneously reinforcing the idea that Trumps looks like a melting Claire Danes.

Donald Trump — remember, this is the real Donald Trump playing a man who has shapeshifted into Donald Trump — walks into a delightfully green-screened bank, and then sits down with the bank manager to illegally withdraw $10,000. Sadly, the nuanced layers of a real man pretending to be a fake man pretending to be him do not translate to Trump’s performance:

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Could they not find a real bank that would allow Trump to walk in?

Weirdly, in his utter boredom and bad acting, something spectacular happens: Trump seems … nice. He’s subdued, polite, even charming. It seems that all you need to do to make Trump likable is carefully control what he says and make sure he’s not physically in the same room with any human beings.

A Disney Show Paired Donald Trump With A Dead Pirate

Before Disney found a way to become rich off Johnny Depp wearing a lot of eyeliner, it first got its pirate feet wet with The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage, a lighthearted romp wherein the undead spirit of a mass murderer teams up with a fictional Donald Trump analogue to save both of their souls from burning forever in hell.

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Luckily, Disney would never reuse “Jack Savage,” or his ship the Black Bird, or anything like it ever again.

When Daniel Tarberry, a rich real estate mogul from New York, has to flee the country because of legal troubles, he buys a luxurious Caribbean mansion to lie low in, but doing so summons the ghost of Black Jack Savage, who was hanged on the island for his crimes. The two are now forced to save the lives of 100 people in order to save themselves from eternal damnation.

Tarberry is a greedy shark who insists on hanging a portrait of himself in every hotel room he owns and constantly tries to weasel out of paying his contractors a dime. He’s not very respectful to women, referring to every lady who talks back to him as “the poster girl for PMS.” He’s also a straight up racist, first assuming Black Jack is his cabin boy, then loudly exclaiming that he wants to change all the locks because he “found a black man in my kitchen.”

The writers had intended to start Tarberry off as a real piece of Trump, only to eventually learn from his mistakes and become a better man. He even occasionally refrains from treating Black Jack like some weird Jim Crow genie.

But the show never got to the redemption part, as the network pulled it after only seven poorly rated episodes. Believing that people are interested in seeing a Trump redemption story might have been the most misjudged part of The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage — a Disney show that opens with a black man being lynched.

Gremlins 2 Had Trump Fight Gremlins

Nobody really expected Gremlins to get a sequel, especially not its creators. And when it did, no one could have predicted that the real villain wouldn’t be gremlins, but the world’s most notorious New York City mogul.

Director Joe Dante wanted to have the Gremlins run amok in a fancy New York skyscraper. But the movie still needed a villain, a rich guy so obnoxious that audiences wouldn’t feel bad about watching midnight demons tear him several new assholes. And then it hit Dante: “At that time in New York City, there was one major character who was Mr. Billion.”

At the time, Trump was known for being “overbearing and obviously kind of goofy,” said the film’s writer, Charles S. Haas. “He was an emblem of what was going on in the ’80s and ’90s with greed and money and crassness, and [the idea of] the whole world being for sale.” And so they created powerful millionaire Daniel Clamp, a Trumpian mogul (with a dash of Ted Turner) who also happens to be running violent animal experiments in his tower Clamp Center.

Actor John Glover modeled his performance of Clamp on the director, whom he saw as “incredibly gentle, supporting and encouraging,” rather than on Trump, which is why Clamp can say weirdly racist nonsense like “Let’s lose the elm trees. People see elm, they think Dutch. [pause] Disease” and still sound like a swell boss. It’s also why we unreservedly root for Clamp when he shoves a Gremlin into a paper shredder.

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And also because he seems to be the only one who realizes gremlins aren’t that difficult to kill.

Consequently, Gremlins 2: The New Batch offers a peek at an alternate universe in which Nice Trump helps us fight small-minded rage goblins, as opposed to the universe we live in, where those goblins got him elected president.

Sesame Street Thinks Donald Trump Is Garbage

Over its nearly 50-year history, Sesame Street has striven to be not just entertainment, but also a tool to teach children. And many times over, it has tried to teach them that Donald Trump is the king of the trash people.

The first time we encounter Sesame‘s Trump is in ’88, as a grouch named Ronald Grump. Grump is trying to con fellow grouch Oscar into letting him build a three-trash-can-high Grump Tower on his spot in return for a “duplex can-dominium.” Oscar simply adores Grump at first, because he exemplifies grouch values, as “his name is on every piece of trash in town.” Grump is also grouch-famous for building “a swamp in a day,” a line so apt that the Sesame Street writers should get a retroactive Emmy for it.

“What about dumpsters?”

However, Grump immediately tries to evict Oscar for keeping pets in his fantastic, just the best tower. This forces all the Sesame Street residents to band together to buy Grump off with their garbage, making the first lesson most American kids learned about Donald Trump was that they need to pay him to go away before he ruins everything.

Donald Grump returns during the show’s 2005 parody of The Apprentice, in which lesser grouches are fighting for the privilege to assist Grump in peddling his trash all across town. After a series of pointless tasks, Elmo, whose hard work and positive attitude wins the day, immediately gets fired by Grump, who exclaims, “I can’t have a good helper! I got my reputation to think of.”

However, the Trump animosity really boiled over during the Street‘s 25th anniversary show in 1993. The entire special episode revolves around the residents of Sesame Street fighting Grump (this time expertly portrayed by human forehead vein Joe Pesci), who’s trying to convert the entire block into a garish Grump Tower. At first he sweetly attempts to convince them that having their street become an overpriced boutique is a good thing. But when the residents don’t agree, Grump starts threatening Muppets like they’re in Goodfellas.

Fortunately, Grump’s plans fall apart because Oscar and his trash heap (which are on city property) keep Grump from selling a single condo. Furious, he rips up his plans and screams that Sesame Street didn’t deserve a Grump Tower anyway. So that’s charm, bully, and now abandonment. If the show had ended with Grump taking Oscar to court for loss of potential revenue, Sesame Street would have achieved the quadfecta of the Trump negotiation style long before Nancy Pelosi coined it.

Since he became president, Trump has not been shy about his desire to gut PBS, the public station that was home to Sesame Street until 2016. We can’t help but think that Ronald Grump has something to do with that.

Cedric will never stop politicizing Muppets. The best way to boycott his leftist agenda is by following him on Twitter but then never interacting with him in any shape or form. That’ll show him.

Why should you have to deal with the Trump presidency alone? Make your cats miserable too with this Donald Trump cat costume.

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