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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

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Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up.

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not.

How many bedrooms are in your house? four.

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby.

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric.

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy.

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment.

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times.

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more.

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

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peepcrybaby666 · 4 years

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I start back at work tomorrow. For 4 hours tomorrow and saturday. I've been off 7 weeks due to 2 sprains in my shoulder. I'm receiving physiotherapy and they're going to continue helping me until I'm back doing everything I was doing before. Theres only light duties I'm able to do right now. So itll be a but before thatll happen but I'm kinda dreading going back in one way and in another I'm hoping this will keep my mind off binging working a few days a week. I lost 14 pounds during the past 9 weeks and managed to gain 10 back since my birthday last week. Congratulations I'm a failure. My mom said stand up no matter how many times u fall. Which reminded me of a Chinese proverb I read once. I think it was a Chinese proverb correct me if I'm wrong... fall down seven times, stand up eight. And I've decided after many years of wanting it that I'm going to get this as a tattoo. I have 7 tattoos but always wanted more. I'm going to save. I really want it. I'm long due for a new one. It's been 2 and a half years since my last.

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agreste-image · 4 years

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okay so to clarify on a couple things with the timeline stuff (like events in it)!

warning this is long af

all of Bustiers class wouldve been born 2001-2002.

character list is:

chloe bourgeois

ivan bruel

alya cesaire

marinette dupain-cheng

juleka couffaine

luka couffaine

mylene haprele

max kante

alix kubdel

nino lahiffe

nathaniel kurtzberg

rose lavillant

le chien kim

sabrina raincomprix

lila rossi

felix graham de vanily, maybe.............?

generally, if the character is around adriens age, they’re available. certain characters can control certain NPCs (kids get their parents or families as npcs, so i would control gabriel and emilie, and potentially nathalie and adriens bodyguard). however, im open to having some others taken. just ask.

the events of the show have been stretched over the course of 4 years, and akumas with episodes are some of the harder akuma that theyve faced / some of the most common ones (mr ramier is a repeat akuma thats easy to defeat, but someone like desperada was an INTENSELY difficult akuma). there are many other, smaller akuma that are more easily handled, and thus not shown on the show itself.

given the out of order episodes of the show, well say the last ‘episode’ that happened was timetagger, occurring in late march.

none of the city specials have happened (new york, shanghai, christmas..?), and the season three finale didnt happen. (chloe deserves to not have her development dumpstered thanks-)

kwami, their magic and guardianship work differently:

kwami can use magic naturally occurring in the world to boost certain transformations without use of potions; example, if adrien goes into a timeline where magical beings, animal people, and humans all live together, plagg can draw on the ambient magic to turn the Chat Noir transformation into a cat person. (ever played kingdom hearts? if you have, then imagine something like how sora gets a different appearance on a lot of worlds.)

miraculous magic partially hides the identity of their user when transformed. this can vary from person to person, due to how the transformations are decided (which is by what they want and expect from it deep down). once someone fully realizes the wielders identity, the disguising magic doesnt work on them anymore. when used by someone from another timeline/universe, it generally overrides that person’s own magic (if a werewolf, for example, transforms with the miraculous, they wont transform into a werewolf while theyre using the miraculous.)

guardianship; im not going to have it erase the memories of the previous guardian, but havent quite figured out what itll do instead. given the finale/miracle queen didnt happen, though, its not a very big concern.

and there’s what ive already had the other characters do:

i started interacting with @eris-the-phantom-thief early on, thus meaning that Persona stuff has also kinda become a thing here. we can explain that away as a timeline slip, wherein two timelines are close enough to blur some lines. i would simply say an au, but by now, adrien has long since discussed things regarding hana and phantom thieves with others, so well probably have to go with that. (this also allows more opportunities for potential ocs.)

marinette has hung out with hana and adrien on multiple occasions. hana has asked if they were dating and both said no. marinette has had a sleepover with hana and alya (and, potentially, juleka and rose). stuff ive written involving marinette can be found under marimuse on my blog.

alya has done a sleepover with marinette and hana. she has also made an effort to get to know hana, with little success. stuff ive written for alya and anyone else in the class can be found on my blog under classmuse.

ladybug has been working with eris the phantom thief at the pleading of chat noir. she has earned chats trust by giving him a pair of raccoon miraculous earrings that she stole from the louvre, realizing the dangers of miraculous jewels simply sitting in a museum. ladybug is also aware that at least one person knows chat noirs identity, and has an idea of the multiverse, given said person ( @theheartmuncher ) is from another timeline filled with general magic. theheartmuncher has also filled in for chat noir by becoming chat picaro when adrien was transformed into a cat, and when he was akumatized. she is not aware of heart’s identity.

felix is aware of adriens identity as chat noir, due to adrien being a dumbass and mixing up the phone his father gave him, and the personal phone he secretly bought. he has matured since the episodes hes in on the show, and has offered to help maintain the secret by occasionally filling in for adrien while hes chat noir. stuff ive written for felix can be found on the blog under Signed. Felix Graham de Vanily

then, it finally comes to what has happened on the blog.

on may 9th, adrien joined tumblr.

on may 24th, theheartmuncher discovered chat noirs identity.

on june 6th, chat noir encountered eris the phantom thief for the first time.

on july 1st, adrien was turned into a cat by magic anons. theheartmuncher, as chat picaro, explained to ladybug that chat noir was on a trip he couldnt get out of, and he had discovered adrien agreste had been turned into a cat. (how he knew?: adrien stole his phone and managed to type ‘im adrien agreste’ on it.) adrien was legally missing for 24 hours, and was watched closely for two weeks after.

on august 1st, felix discovered he was chat noir.

on august 13th, adrien was akumatized into simulacrum, then was saved by @gardencracks and @daviscatessen coming to paris in spite of him telling them to stay away, and to leave things to ladybug (and, unbeknownst to him, chat picaro). adrien also vowed to move out of the agreste mansion.

on august 15th, eris brought chat noir the raccoon miraculous.

on august 16th, eris met up with ladybug and chat noir to discuss what to do with the earrings.

on august 24th, adrien fully moved into his own apartment. magic anons gave him two cats, one of which was a certified emotional support animal.

on september 8th, gardencracks and daviscatessen brought adrien to a large 18th birthday party they had planned and invited the classmates to. he also dyed his hair pink.

and that is the blog major-event timeline.

this is long as fuck and i apologize, but i kinda needed to get all this laid out anyway even if i wasnt potentially doing a timeline LOL thanks for ur patience

#laempost #long post but its under a readmore so #important

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fmstevie · 4 years

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* ╰ waddup y’all ruby’s back 2 annoy u all w a lil british fuckboi action . here’s stevie , inspired by matty healy n thinkin she’s a god among men . i don’t recommend u read on but in case u do i pray u forgive me enough 2 want plots w that like button . 🤡

new york’s very own 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄 ‘ 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘 ’ 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 was spotted on broadway street in doc marten smooth leather chelsea boots . your resemblance to diana silvers is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - second birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐬 , but also 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 . i guess being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be erudite inclinations informed by a god complex , melodrama as your magnum opus , & the world’s most secretive love life . ( i had a secret marriage that lasted 6 months but ended due to my fear of my family’s mafia ties getting in the way . ) & ( cis female & she / her )

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : stephanie charlotte greystone 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 : primarily stevie , although her stage name is ‘ grey ‘ which has caught on as a go-to nickname . takes little to nothing else wilingly 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : twenty - two 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : cancer 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : professional musician with a voiceclaim of lorde , on temporary hiatus to write grey3 . casual photographer 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cis female / she her hers 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : pansexual w strong female pref but tbh if u can handle her energy she’ll b down WKERWJER 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 : 5’10 🤤 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔 : the hedonist , the aesthete , the opaque , the vainglorious , the prodigy , the intangible concept 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔 : rhiannon - fleetwood mac / WHAT U CALL THAT - chase atlantic / iceberg - borns / UGH - the 1975 / boss bitch - doja cat / elephant - tame impala / black hole sun - soundgarden / black madonna - cage the elephant / this charming man - the smiths / swim - chase atlantic / 1999 WILDFIRE - brockhampton

tw drug mention

𝒊. 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

there is perhaps no more a formidable surname in the organized crime circuit in all of europe than greystone , a name risen to fame through countless court cases and highly publicized trials . dubbed ‘ el chapo of the old world , ‘ liam greystone makes his reputation known as a ruthless and conniving leader of a million dollar cartel business , distributing to most of the UK and eastern europe . it’s perhaps an even greater shock to find even as public enemy #1 , he takes a welsh wife by the name of marissa and weds her in a lavish and very public ceremony , surmounting crowds not unlike those of the royal weddings . such a decision is a clear power move on his part , flexing the pure influence it would require to have such a public family life with no fear of repercussion from rivals or enemies .

it’s several months following their wedding that james is born , with nicholas taking a few years after . elite prep schools in the most posh london neighborhoods were abuzz with equal parts curiosity and concern to be sharing streets with the most feared mafia family in their whole country , though the elite nature of liam’s new societal presence meant he took to his ‘ dealings ‘ with a but more subtlety than before his rise to power . something of a media frenzy , it’s the talk of the town when marissa falls pregnant another time , nearly a decade after nicholas’s birth , this time with a baby girl , something that’s all the sun and mirror can seem to post about in their celebrity tabloids section for weeks on end . her birth raises questions of immense speculation : what will the world do with a greystone girl ?

as it would result , they’d worship her . stevie found herself raised in a world that sought her out at every turn , cameras pointed towards her at every outing . james and nick , now teens by the time she enters primary and just as big of terrors as their father , view their lavish lifestyle as the result of some bigger destiny for greatness , as their father had always fed to them , something they passed on to their baby sister who took it as her mantra . one of the earliest manifestations of a rather intense personality , stevie takes this to an extreme , turning her unwanted stardom into a fuel for an ever-increasing god complex to develop . the apple of her father’s eye and every bit as quick , her instructors note a dedication to perfection and an obsession with accomplishment , along with a natural intelligence that leads her to blast through her studies with relative ease .

she’s just 16 when she completes her schooling and already has a reputation that will precede her , just as her surname had before . relaxed and observant , her voice never peaks higher than a low alto with her charming londoner drawl , a facade never cracking from her knowing poker face . there’s something about being so above everyone ( even if it is a self-imposed superiority ) that leads stevie all but to the brink of isolation , finding solace only in the words of a self-deluded father and her own scribings in a leather bound notebook . piano lessons since early childhood lend themselves to melodies following melodies , and before she’s even able to legally drink , she’s released her first album under the moniker ‘ grey ’ titling it pure heroine as a cheeky nod to the inevitable accusations of it being her family ties that got her a record deal . but as streams of the melancholy tunes begin to pick up fans worldwide , the album’s themes of isolation , abandonment , and wasted youth hit harder than ever anticipated from the youngest greystone . she leaves home to tour the world with the album reaching #1 in countless countries , forging her own path with a maturity beyond her years and a vision beyond this world .

the tour ends and she’s smitten by the charm of new york , opting to move to continue to pursue her music away from the tangled complications of family life in england . barely 18 and perhaps intoxicated with the loneliness of a life spent in the watching eye of others , the semblance of privacy is something she takes to like an addict , exasperating prying paparazzi with her notorious refusal to comment on details of her personal life . she builds a wall between herself and the world , keeping out prying eyes with a tight - lipped grin . its at this time that she lets the first person into her life perhaps ever , a whirlwind romance so intoxicating it results in a courthouse marriage done in secret . never to be seen together , never a word spoken to anyone else , stevie relishes in the secret which is soon to sour upon the passing of their honeymoon phase . with her brothers expanding their reach into the US for their unsavory dealings , it’s not long after her marriage begins that the conflicts reach a breaking point , an annulment following barely 6 months after they had traded ‘ i do’s . ’

she takes to the studio with a new resentment of the concept of love and even more sequestered heart , producing melodrama which takes the world by storm , snagging her a grammy win for album of the year . fatigued from the constant go-around of keeping her secrets her own except for when they’re taken to radio streams , she does a limited tour for melodrama and lands herself right back in new york at 20 , putting grey3 on the backburner as she takes to all the hedonistic engagements she had indulged herself in during her time on tour . she’s kept herself busy between mindless flings and days-long benders with hobbies such as photography and writing , the former of which is building her a rather impressive reputation in the arts world .

𝒊𝒊. 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 .

if y’all ain’t tired of me yet god bless u . .. . bc i straight up b tired of myself :/

anyways dis is stevie , also accepts grey the same way ppl talk abt lorde n switch between ella n lorde ! she’s not picky :~)

major inspos are matty healy from the 1975 n hayley kiyoko if she was less of a try hard . little bit of kristen stewart in there , big 2016 ruby rose energy n brie larson top me tomfoolery as well !

basically da fuckboi of ur dreams .. .. . lil devilish londoner who stays thinkin she’s the closest thing to a god on this green earth !

notably , she’s incredibly intelligent and profound , tends to take on a rather patronizing and condescending tone bc she straight up b thinkin she’s usually the smartest person in the room ( how annoying )

so laid back n observant , rlly has no need to raise her voice ever bc her arguments b runnin circles around ppl ! imagine the way harry styles talks low n slow n calculated. . . . . cameron from love is blind ,. .. . kristen stewart lowkey sometimes .. .. .. das grey . sexy ass alto monotone 🤤🤤

i dont wanna use chaotic bc she rlly isnt the WILDEST bitch but that god complex means she deadass thinks she can get away w what she wants n she usually does ? less of a chaotic evil n more like a neutral evil lmao she can follow rules just fine she jsut prefers whatever suits her better

on that note — OBSCENELY self obsessed . follows her own natural whims n impulses bc that’s just what appeals to her . is inclined to follow rules if she calculates itll work in her favor bc she also doesn’t like to look sloppy !

super secretive and OBSESSED w her presentation . every movement is calculated n she doesnt want anyone seeing a side of her that she hasn’t designated for them ! she doesn’t care what other ppl think but she DOES care abt what she sees herself doing n her vision . doesnt fit the vision ? will NOT happen in her book .

straight up a WHORRE lmao she likes 2 fill the void left by a lack of human connection w sexual intimacy n then is like nice imma have u leave now love LMAO . does not discriminate and is rlly inclined to follow any sexual impulse

this was implied but her relationships are super messy ? does the leonardo dicaprio thing where she will never fuckin discuss her love life in interviews or anything so ppl just gotta SPECULATE . she lets ppl post all they want abt her but she wont say a WORD abt them JWHEKJWH her socials r basically just abt her n her music we said SELFISH lads . she’s bad @ bein tied down n is probs polyamorous as it stands but im p sure she has cheated on every single person she has ever been with lmao

lowkey a shit friend most of the time lMAO she can b really unreliable bc u guys can have plans n then she takes someone home n misses yalls plans n then texts u 4 hours later after all ur missed calls n is like my bad bruv i got tied up AS IF THAT FIXES IT KWEJKWJEKWE

chain smoker n its nastie but lowkey sexy somehow :/ , will ONLY wear outfits that r equal parts thrifted n designer , always has her hands in her pockets n if her jacket has a hood its UP like a big ole homo , is rlly annoying bc shes good looking n KNOWS it so she uses it to her advantage , wants 2 get her motorcycle license , judges u based off the music u play in the car , judges u on everything tbh.

#wealthyhq:intro #* ╰ . 𝒔 . 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆 . › introduction .#sorry 4 dis trash hittin the dash 🥰#just COULD NOT wait n format any longer

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sassycassie-s-writing · 5 years

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One PM Pajamas

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): Final Fantasy XV/Prompto Argentum

Rating: PG/K+

Original Idea: Nothing. Just a cute scene in my head.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) Hopefully this reads as cute as it was when I imagined it.

^^^^^

When my doorbell rang at one in the afternoon, I really should have been prepared to answer it.

But was I?

Nope.

I was eating a Cup Noodle for lunch in my pajamas without pants on—just in my giant T-shirt and underwear. My hair had been brushed but that was it.

I crept to the door and peered through the peephole.

Confused, I opened the door just enough to peek around it, letting it get caught on the chain. “Prompto! What are you doing here?” I asked.

He beamed at me. “I need your advice,” he said.

“You sure that’s a good idea? Last time you took my advice you dislocated your shoulder.”

“I trust no one else with this question.” The seriousness behind the playful look he gave me convinced me. I shut the door, slid the chain to release it, and opened it again. I let it swing wide to let him in, pulling my shirt down to more securely cover my modesty.

“Well, if you’d called first, I could have looked like a normal person when you showed up. Let me put some pants on. Make yourself at home. Grab a snack and a drink if you want. Be right back.”

I headed down the hallway to my bedroom, still making sure my T-shirt was pulled down.

“Hey how come you’re in your jammies at one in the afternoon?” Prompto called jokingly.

“Buzz off!” I shouted, shutting my bedroom door to change. “Mimi and I stayed up till like three-AM watching makeup tutorials and trying to replicate them!” I shucked off my pajamas and pulled on a normal person outfit. Nothing fancy—it was Prompto. He’d known me since we were kids.

“Where is your roommate anyway? She gonna walk in on our secret discussion?”

“Decidedly not. She’s at work all day,” I said. “Hence why I'm eating a Cup Noodle in my pajamas at one in the afternoon.” I went back into the living room. Prompto was sprawled on the sofa, holding a bag of chips.

“What in Eos, gurl!” he teased, throwing a pillow at me. “You said you were putting on pants not a formal outfit!”

“Sweats and a T-shirt that’s actually in my size is not a formal outfit, Argentum,” I snapped, grabbing my Cup Noodle from the breakfast bar and plopping down on the sofa next to him. “Now what’s up?”

“I need your advice.”

“So you said. Carry on.”

“Okay. So. There’s this girl—”

“Ooooh! A girl! Prompto Argentum has finally succumbed to the endless stream of romcoms in his Chocoflix queue and fallen in love himself!”

“Shut up,” he muttered. His ears and cheeks were turning bright red.

I laughed and gave him a hug. “C’mon, Prom. You know I love and support you in all your endeavors. And that includes dating. I'm just surprised you’ve finally fallen for someone.” I crossed my legs and put some noodles in my mouth. “Now. What about this girl? What do you like about her? What do you want from your interactions with her? Are you going to ask her out?”

“Uh… she’s smart, funny, nice. Seems to actually care about me—which is, y’know, awesome. I don’t know. I’ve known her for a while and I just… well. I realized the other day that I was head-over-heels for her with no idea what to do about it.”

“So you came to me.”

“Well I would trust no one else with this information.” He gave me a mock-serious glance.

I laughed. “Okay. So do you want to ask her out?”

“Yeah… but I'm nervous that if I do, it’ll destroy our friendship. And I value our friendship a lot.”

I pursed my lips, jovial mood souring slightly. “That does put a damper on things. It’s a hard tightrope to walk, I’ll admit. Because feelings change things and knowing about someone’s feelings changes things. Like, if you liked her and kept it secret, you could just go on being friends and she’d never be any the wiser if you played it right. But if you told her how you really feel… well. There’s always the chance of rejection and then the awkwardness that comes after. Because you want to try to still be friends but she knows you want to be more.”

“So what do I do?”

“Honestly, Prompto, that’s up to you. I can’t make that decision for you. I feel like if you really like her and she seems favorable to the idea, you could ask her on a low-key, friendly sort of date. Which seems counterintuitive, I know. But, like, ask her if she’s seen that new movie and if she’d like to go see it with you. Or offer to grab lunch with her sometime to chat. If she agrees, you can try stepping it up. I don’t know, Prompto. I'm Miss Forever Single, remember?”

“Well… just tell me what you would want if some guy you’ve been friends with for a while suddenly asked you out.”

“Depends. Is he a creep that I’ve known for a while?”

Prompto sighed. “I hope not. Okay. Imagine it was me. You and I have been friends for… how long now? Twelve years? Since we were kids. What if I asked you out. Would you say yes?”

“Of course I’d say yes. It’s you. You’re like… the greatest, sweetest guy in all of Lucis.” I smiled and flipped some hair off my shoulder. “Any girl—actually, any person—would be lucky to snatch you up. Like, you are a catch, Prompto. And if this girl doesn’t see it… that’s her loss. Truly. You don’t have to start big, Prom. Just be casual. And be yourself. You’re awesome.”

Prompto regarded me thoughtfully, munching on some chips while I had another mouthful of noodles. “Thanks. I guess you’re right. Casual sounds really nice, actually. Like… less pressure, y’know?”

I smiled. “Oh yeah. And really, girls don’t always like fancy dates. Getting ready is a hassle and sometimes it’s awkward. I love chill dates. Like that blind date I went on a couple weeks ago. We literally went to the arcade in jeans and sneakers and stuff and played games. It was great. He smoked me at Skee-Ball but I beat him at Crossy Road. Like, that’s where the real fun and enjoyment is. To me anyway. Your crush might like being splurged on and pampered but ugh why.”

That made Prompto laugh. “No… I think she wouldn’t mind a casual date.”

“So go for it. We don’t get a lot of time on this planet. Sometimes we just have to shout YOLO while diving headfirst into the deep end.”

Prompto knew how much I hated the term YOLO for being annoying, but it got my point across and made him smile. He had such a bright smile. It always managed to make me happy just by seeing it. Which was probably why I had so many framed photos of the two of us in my room—though that was also because I got one every year on my birthday from him.

“You’re right. I think I will ask her out on a casual date.”

“Do it. And tell me how it goes!”

“Yeah. Yeah I will,” he said. He gave me a hug. “You’re the best dating coach in the world.”

“For being perpetually single?”

“Well, coaches don’t play the sport.”

I laughed. Prompto let me go and put the chips he got out of my cupboard away.

“I'm gonna call her on my walk home.”

“Tell me how it goes. Text me when you get home so I know you got home safe, ‘kay?”

“You got it, gurl!”

I ruffled his hair. He groaned and swatted at me like I was an irritating fly before heading for the door. We exchanged another hug and he left. I disposed of my Cup Noodles and went into my room so I could get some work done for Ignis before he started breathing down my neck. Mimi and I had a small study where we literally just stored books and the fancy desk my dad had given me when I moved out. I only used it when I was feeling really productive. I sat at the desk with my laptop and set to work.

I wasn’t sure how long I was typing up reports and council notes that Ignis had handwritten—thank the Six his handwriting was as neat as a computer font and perfectly legible no matter how fast he was writing—but I could feel the passage of at least a few minutes in a slight ache in my shoulder.

Out in the living room, my phone buzzed.

I sighed. “What now?” I muttered.

I got up and ran to get it.

Incoming Call: Prompto XD

“Hello?”

“Hey! Would you want to come catch a movie with me sometime? It doesn’t have to be anything formal.”

“Oh my word. Were you talking about me?!” I demanded.

All I got in response was laughter.

“Prompto Argentum! I cannot believe you asked me for advice on how to ask me out. I hate you so much that I love you right now. Of course I’ll catch a movie with you sometime. If I can get this stupid report of Ignis’ done, I’ll be free tonight.”

“That’s great! I’ll come pick you up at five-thirty?”

I laughed. “Absolutely. I’ll be ready.”

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winter-and-little-brunettes · 6 years

Text

85 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @vldrocketeer! Thanks, sweetie, sorry Im getting to doing this so late!!!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coca-Cola! And, Im about to go grab another can...

2. Phone call: My mom! I sent her some cute bird videos, and called her to hear her reactions to them.

3. Text message: A good friend I made in first year! His name is Colin, and he lived across the hall from me in residence first year. We’re both the same major (English Lit), and we both have similar interests in video games, so we got along great. I won’t post what I said, since we’re catching up and it was a long ass text message, but it was basically me explaining why I haven’t seen him around lately (since I’m usually holed up at work when I’m on campus)

4. Song you listened to: “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last. It’s a favourite of mine!

5. Time you cried: Oh jeez... Uh, last month? March has been pretty stressful, and April will make me want to rip my hair out...

6. Dated someone twice: I almost did! But no, never actually dated the same guy twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Its hard enough to get me to kiss someone, let alone do it and regret it.

8. Been cheated on: I have. He was my first and only heartbreak (so far)

9. Lost someone special: Hmm... I think my best answer here is “yes”.

10. Been depressed: I mean, Im usually a pretty happy person, but everyone has their ups and downs. I cant say Ive been clinically depressed, but I have had a very dark part in my life, and I feel like another one is coming.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HAHAHA uh... no... I mean, that totally wasn’t me...

— Fave colours

12. purple!!

13. blue, like, a royal blue, yknow?

14. pink

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: I have, fortunately!!

16. Fallen out of love: “I need to be in love for that to happen” god Erin, same

17. Laughed until you cried: Those are some of the best moments. I’m a loud laugher, and it happens like, once a week probably.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t do anything special enough to be talked about

19. Met someone who changed you: I feel like every person I’ve ever met has influenced me in some way or the other, so yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Oh man, I certainly have. Fortunately, I have that cliche best friend story where I’ve literally known her since SK, went to the same elementary school, high school, and university together... And she lived around the corner from me when I still lived in my hometown.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Well, considering my one ex is my friend there, I have to say yes.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Every single one. Although I’m never on facebook so don’t ever add me; itll take a month to hear back from me.

23. Do you have any pets: I have two cats! Well, one lives with me, and the other is at my parent’s place. But Perriwinkle is with me, my precious kitty, and shes all I need!

24. Do you want to change your name: Hmm... I do quite like my birth name, and I adore my last name, but my middle name... Im not super fond of “Marie”.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: hahahaha uh, well, Id been working at my new job for about a week at that time, so I was working on my 19th birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 11:35am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was working on The Power of Faiths upcoming update! ;)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: to be done university... As much as it’s a cool experience and all, all the stress it brings is gonna kill me prematurely.

30. What are you listening to right now: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I work with a guy named Tom. He’s a music major, he plays piano and is overall a super cool dude

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: when people I call for my job pick up the phone on a Sunday and bitch at me that I’m calling on “the day of rest”. Like?? Bitch, you did not have to pick up the phone. You saw the caller ID, just, let it go to voicemail?????????

33. Most visited website: It’s a toss-up between tumblr and ao3

34. Hair colour: brown, like, chocolate brown I guess

35. Long or short hair: It’s long for some people’s standards (it comes to between my shoulder blades) but still pretty short for me. I’m used to my hair reaching the small of my back.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh hell no, aint nobody got time for that

37. What do you like about yourself: Uh... You guys wouldn’t like my answer.

38. Want any piercings: I seriously thought about a tongue piercing, but idk.

39. Blood type: You’d think, from the amount of blood Ive had taken for allergy tests and the like that I’d know. But nope, I have no idea.

40. Nicknames: Sam, Sammy, Samserban, Pretties, Samuel.

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Gemini!

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Voltron

45. Tattoos: I’m looking into tattoo parlors to get my first tattoo over the summer. I’m gonna get a bunch of flowers on my back, over my heart, for my grandma <3

46. Right or left handed: Right

47: Ever had surgery: Nope! Worst I’ve had are x-rays

48. Piercings: I do have my ears pierced, just once.

49. Sport: Hahahaaaa not anymore, I’m lazy af. But I used to figure skate competitively, row competitively, and ride horses.

50. Vacation: I hardly ever travel. Ive been down to Florida twice, and been to England and Scotland around this time two years ago with my two best friends.

51. Trainers: ...no? Again, I’m lazy af.

— More general

52. Eating: I dont eat as often as I should.

53. Drinking: Coca-Cola. Or coffee. Not sure which I’m gonna get yet.

54. I’m about to watch: I mean, I should be working on papers or something... Or even writing... But I just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood the other day and I loved it!!!

55. Waiting for: my English prof to give me my marks back for a paper I wrote.

56. Want: a lot of money so I don’t have to work as much as I do to live in my bachelor’s apartment with my cat.

57. Get married: Maybe..... It depends on if I ever find the right person. But if I dont, I am more than happy to be alone.

58. Career: I really reeeaaally want to get into a writing/editing career. I want to one day work for a firm to work one on one with authors to help them edit and publish novels!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes: Oooh, eyes man!

61. Shorter or taller: Taller...

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: Ooooh... arms...

64. Hookup or relationships: Definitely relationships, but I’m terrible at keeping them,,

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh gosh, I mean, Im definitely more of a trouble maker... But like, a cautious one.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Oh hell no

67. Drank hard liquor: Im Canadian... Yes

68.Turned someone down: Haha, I sure have! I got asked out by two different guys on the same day before.

69. Sex on first date: Oh god no

70: Broken someone’s heart: Probably.....

71. Had your heart broken: I most certainly have!

72. Been arrested: Fortunately, not.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes. But, only once.

74. Fallen for a friend: I have no idea what this means???

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hahaha uh... No???????

76. Miracles: Id like to??

77. Love at first sight: I do, but not for myself.

78. Santa Claus: Nope

79. Angels: Oh god no

— Misc

80. Eye colour: like, a warm brown colour?

81. Best friends name: Kaylee!

82. Favourite movie: I love too many movies... But the ones that come to mind are Spirit: Stallion of the Cimerran, Stardust, The Swan Princess, and Toy Story!!!

83. Favourite actor: There are days I can barely remember my coworkers names, and I see them for like, 15 hours a week. Let alone someone I’ve never met???

84. Favourite cartoon: It’s Voltron ;)

85. Favourite teacher’s name: I dont really consider myself to have “favourite” profs. But I am fond of a few that I’ve had!

I’m gonna tag @forsakenangel88, @mardimari, @dumb-birdd, and any of my followers who want to do this! Just tag me, I’d love to see your answers <3

#me things #i was tagged?

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summerinsacramento-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Seeing the forest when you’re stuck in the trees

One week later, I feel rationally better. My heart hasn’t caught on, but I don’t feel the deep sting I felt before. Now, it’s a numb little tingling that I can ignore. Every day, it’ll sting less and less, but its probably gonna be a point of sadness I hold for years when I remember what 22 felt like. And that’s fine. I have years to heal and move on. I turn 23 in 27 days. That can be the night I officially start a new chapter. One without my last love, but a year where hopefully I feel self-love that I never felt before.

With that said, I am writing this while listening to The Weeknd’s new album about how hes heartbroken for the umpteenth time, so we’ll see how this goes. My friend said I should actually listen to this now, as its what I need. Ricky if youre reading this and I hate myself after this, it’s on you.

This is the story of a young boy who is processing heartbreak in a new city, new career, and a new frame of mind. This is the story of what I have learned in the last week, when my life was pulled out from under me in what I believe will be the best possible way. It sucks now, but I’ve learned something, tangentially related to the relationship.

The title

In order to understand this, I want to start by letting you see who I am. I graduated from college in 2017. It hasn’t even been a year since I stopped living my life in terms of “you have 3 months to prove yourself, go.” Until today, I never realized just how much that had affected the way of life I was living.

My mentor today totally slapped the shit out of me with this one: “Stop thinking in the now. Do what will make you happy 10 years from now. Everything is else is just experience. Not everything has to work.”

That man met me 4 hours ago as I type this, and he’s managed to being me back from a stage of confusion to clarity.

He then hit me with this one: youre not playing with the same rules anymore as when you were in college. You’ve been living on 3 month blocks of time. You need to learn to work towards a deep future, which you do not have the vision for now.

It hit me immediately that he’s right. For the 5 years since I left home, I have essentially lived my life in such a microscopic scale that I never learned how to see past the tree I was currently on. I lived life climbing a tree, seeing what was coming, and walking to that… but that means that I followed a track. I went from class to class, job to job, woman to woman, hoping to get what I wanted, but the thing is

You can only see trees that are in your field of vision that way, and this is incredibly slow.

Also,

this assumes you want to stay in the forest.

I’ve been thinking about this all day, because I need to learn how to think that way and get off the trees and start walking. I need to go to town and make friends that will last years here. I know I have the same feelings in Phoenix (more on that down the road), but I can’t leave myself with no options in Sacramento. I don’t even mean romantically here. What if I still don’t know what I want? What if I make a Friend in Sacramento with a haircut business and he trains me to be his recruiter? What if I meet a young couple in Sacramento, and they pass me all of their furniture because they’re leaving the city to start a new life? What if I meet a kid in Sacramento who needs a mentor and I commit to making his life better? What if I meet a woman in Roseville who runs a night club and she wants to pay me to be a stripper? What if I what if I what if I what if I get out of the house and find out.

Both he and my trainer have pointed out to me that I cannot rely on my job to bring me happiness, I have to make it on my own, and I have every intention to. I will be leaving my apartment in 3 weeks and moving to the city. Density is the greatest asset of a city; the only finite resource you have is time. So Im starting a journey of self discovery. I’m joining the sister chapter to the club I loved the most while at Arizona State. I joined a volleyball league. I’m going to every work social from here out for young people – I refuse to wallow in the sadness anymore. I already told the girl I loved all the good and the bad. Everything from here on out is overkill. I won’t be sad, as itll sully the memories of the times we weren’t. Don’t be fooled, I am hurt, but I am taking it as a good hurt instead of sinking to the dark place I was in 2016.

Speaking of 2016: The Dark Descent of Drunk Depressed Jairo

(For the sake of the other people in this story, I am changing names. If you are my friend and know, cool, but I don’t want to breach their privacy as I share mine)

This story actually starts in 2015, and I sat on it for a long time. It was during an event I ran. Three powerful figures that still mar my self-conscious were there. Girl 1 was texting me throughout the day. Girl 2 and 3 were there. I don’t want to drop too many details, but I remember thinking “Girl 3 is super nice, but I shouldn’t hit on her because she won’t appreciate it.” I had been trying to get at Girl 2 for weeks. Girl 1 was dumb as all hell for being interested in me and getting me first down the line.

I dated Girl 1 for a year. The second half of that year was the most miserable point of my existence. I remember I asked my friends if I should leave at month 5. They said I needed to give her time, and I suffered for 6 more. All this time, I kept having constant desires to leave her for Girl 2 (I NEVER acted on these. It was more of a “why does this girl treat me better than the one who claims to love me?), and she was jealous of Girl 2. I can’t blame her. My 21st bday was during that time, and after ending things I started being a degenerate in plain view of everyone. I am not proud.

But it was okay, I was on a high tree and I knew the kind of tree that I would climb. Drunk me wanted to climb, and there are entire weeks of my life where I drank every day.

Give it like 2 months, and I was starting to talk to this girl, I’ll call her girl 4. I thought that was the tree I would climb next – and boy did I try. We even agreed to go on a date. It never happened though, because in the days in between, I definitely linked up with Girl 2, sort of fast. Just as fast things ended.

Anyway I managed to fall from two trees in like 3 weeks, and I was going nuts for 6 months after. This is where the spiral took off. My grades took damage and I lost interest in most things, and I was so hurt that my search for my future was taking so long, and I kept getting hurt while trying. Why was this forest so thorny? I gained like 20 pounds in liquor weight, which I barely got rid of recently.

That is, until I linked up with Girl 3 once again in 2017 and this time by accident. We were together for what are the happiest days of my life so far. There will be better days, but I haven’t seen them yet. At least not so concentrated. Whatever it was though, I loved her for who she was for a year, and I want to believe she genuinely loved me back. It did hurt, however, that I always told her the above story, and I would say that I finally picked the right girl. I was on the right tree.

As of last week we know that isn’t true. She cut off the tree under me, but she did it at the right time. And actually, it was on the 3rd anniversary of the day those three girls flowed together into my life.

I was sad because I was on the ground. Tired of climbing and thinking I finally climbed the tallest tree in the forest and found the best spot, only to tumble.

But there was another force at play that I never saw coming. Her name is Girl 0. There is no romance there, we are just good friends, or rather, were. Eight years ago – she was my best friend in 8th grade before we drifted apart. She came back into my life to make sure I was okay, and in the past 6 days we’ve rapidly realized that were good friends still. That gave me so much perspective. Time moves on for everyone, but my best friend from middle school and I collabed for another album ten years later, and with no resentment. She’s coming to my 23rd birthday and that’s exciting!

I also realized that I no longer have resentment for G1 ort G2 since almost 2 years have passed, and I won’t resent G3 at some point. Well, I don’t resent her the same, but one day I’ll either stop missing her, or will feel differently than now – I can freely admit she was the most special girl of my life, and she’ll be a tough act to follow. I kind of wish me moving 800 miles didn’t drive us apart, but I’m also glad it did because now I have to force myself to walk along this forest, no matter how scared I am. I will grow from this. G4 is engaged now, to the boy that she would link up with after me. I’m happy for her, genuinely.

Regardless, that was the lesson I needed. I need to step down from the trees. Its time I start walking and stop looking for anything in particular short term. I can’t go through this forest one tree at a time. I need to pick a direction and walk it. That’s scary because I don’t know the future, but it was scary before, and I made little progress. Maybe this scary time is what I need. Maybe I need to just keep going and remember that the first 18 years didn’t count, the next 4 were a trial period, and the most recent 1 was me playing with the rules that no longer worked. I got X amount of years left, and I gotta make them count.

On a similar note, I would like to thank every single person who came out in support of me. You guys are the best, and your friendships, some way old and some way young, have helped me remember that I am loved, and that I am never truly alone.

On another note: The Weeknd’s album was okay and did not make me feel sad. The man almost gave Selena Gomez a kidney though, so maybe he was in deeper love than I was.

On another nother note: If you take the height of the 8 girls I consider exes and plot it, it makes a sine wave with an average around 5’4”. If the pattern holds, the next girl I date has to be taller than me. We’ll see, but maybe I’ll start climbing again, just differently now.

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freelytinystudentblog-blog · 6 years

Text

Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

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sanhatation · 6 years

Text

ri’s thicc 2017 reflection post !

its still quite a few hours away from 2018 for me but i just wanted to take this time to reflect on my absolutely Lovely 2017!!! yay time 2 get sappy as i word vomit and overshare about my year on tumblr.com !!!!

thank you loads to all of my LOVELY followers !!!!!!!!! yall are the cutest, make my day on the daily ! i wish you the best 2018 that the world can offer !!! stay healthy, take time for yourself, love yourself, love others, and be kind! 💓💓

this Riley Rant here, is gonna be here for me than anything. like a Fat journal entry !! and i am an Oversharer so here she goes [jeopardy music]

to begin, i have met and befriended so many amazing people on here this year and WOW!!!!!! lovely and supportive and talented, beautiful aroha friends??? it doesnt get better than that!!!!! i would attempt to tag all of u but yall know who u are ;)) im endlessly grateful to those of you who have really made being on here worth it. heck ya sometimes im like “why do i even spend time on here” but then!!!! idk sunny comes swingin in with just a heart full of love or sara comes swingin in with her eggs or marian comes swingin in with her rare pairs or j comes swingin in with her baking posts and thats not even HALF of it !!!!! seriously.....love you guys tons.

to my friends who i have had the pleasure of remaining your friend this year and getting closer to u !! i love you. i really dont know how yall handle me especially 2015/2016 me?? a MESS! yall are the REALEST. again, yall know who u are ;)) i hope we can continue to talk and have fun in 2018, i wish yall the best.

and lastly....heres a THICC shoutout to my six shining stars.

as for me as an individual, 2017 was a freaking Whack year. it was incredible....dare i say, iconic. and now its time for.....RILEY’S 2017 HIGHLIGHTS !!!!!! (also includes: the sucky parts bc even those allowed me to grow !)

- man, did 2017 start out pretty rough when my country decided it was a good idea to elect a freakin cheeto for president. however! i had the lovely opportunity to attend the women’s march at my capital the day before inauguration !! and it was powerful!!!! truly an experience ill treasure forever!

- binch....thank u Winter Dream for my whole life. tbh i wont forget sobbing at my best friend’s house when it dropped. thank u Miss Again Dance Practice. thank u Miss You & Me MV. thank u Miss Cotton Candy Choreography. thank u.

- ah.....when some pinhead started that tr*mp chanting at a basketball game lol! so iconic that we made the new york times! gotta love that....

- OMG !!! HOW TO SUCCEED !!!! an absolutely amazing experience. granted, the male lead was a Snake, but i had a blast. Rosemary will forever be close to my heart and ill always cry a little when i hear Brotherhood of Man or Paris Original !! such an awesome opportunity. i learned a frick ton about myself as a performer. i improved a ton in acting and dancing, and also came to learn that i am very good at receiving instructions and memorizing lines quickly. i learned that i need to work on some of my facial expressions and i also learned some of my habits ! i miss u Queenie H2$ :’’)

- had my first tap dance performance ever??? i really enjoyed learning tap, and i hope to pick it back up in the future !!!!

- BIIIIIINCCH i had the opportunity to visit my sister in korea!!!!!!! wow.....truly the BEST week of my entire year, maybe even LIFE! i went to the dog cafe, the sheep cafe, mcountdown, the lunar festival kick off, gwanghwamun palace, dongdaemun, shopped a ton around hongdae, ate food by the han river, visited namsan tower (but not without getting lost), hit the noraebang TWICE, walked into a private Fantagio board meeting, ate delicious chicken on a STIIICK, ran in the rain, ordered delivery mcdonalds, had the BEST fried chicken, met a bunch of monks, was led around dongdaemun by a very old korean man, SAW EUNWOO AND DOYEON AND RECEIVED MUCH LOVE AND NEARLY DIED, hit the convenience store literally every day, snuck out, GOT A WAVE FROM KEY :((( , bought Winter Dream and lots of skin care products and lots of cute clothes, had the clearest skin ive ever had in my life, went to a buddhist temple, witnessed a drunk man fall into the splits inbetween the ground and the subway, ran up and down 1000 subway stairs, fell in love with a man named Peanut, drank too much banana and strawberry milk, sobbed my face off at the festival as korean grandmas bowed to me, tried tons of new foods (including the nastiest bowl of cheese ramyun ive ever had in my life), bought lots of socks, rode an airplane for......like 40 hours in total? literally the best week of my Life

- had my junior vocal recital ! it was a cute girl. i felt my acting had really improved since sophomore voice recital !!

- had prom on my 17th birthday and had a jolly good time !!! my mom made my dress and i felt like a Stunner

- dream pt. 01...she rly is that Bad Bih. best era. miss her loads. none of us ever deserved her.

- les mis !!!!!! two whole weeks.....another Best Time. i learned so much, made so many lifetime friends, had a blast, sang my heart out.....such a freaking good time. i miss her

- got to spend the ENTIRE summer with momo!!!!!!!!!!! literally the ENTIRE!!!!! and what did we do? hit the park, watched lemonade mouth and fantastic beasts and starstruck and that random unicorn movie, made the Best slime, made that ICONIC weki meki video, laughed a ton, cried a ton, stayed up all night for the sunrise, stayed later for the sunset & thunderstorm, walked home in the pouring rain & lightning (IT IS VERY WET), went to the beach, met many dogs, got me hairs cut, befriended that Cat, and went to a painting class

- cabin week !!!!!!!!!!! whatta lovely time

- my brother’s wedding !!!! honestly? my best outfit of the year... had a bangin time. his wife is truly a cutie and i love her tons!

- there was that Mess in august and i still feel sorry to those who felt hurt because of it. i learned a lot about how things especially on the internet can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted, so u gotta be EXTRA careful with your words !

- through that i also came to accept that u cant get everyone to understand or like u, and tbh that is okay for now. all we can do when we make mistakes is try to understand & learn, apologize, and try to better ourselves. and sometimes even when u do that, u still may not be liked. and thats okay. as long as you are trying your best and recognize mistakes, its all good.

-skinny dipped at girls time wow what a freaking TIME

- woah dude i dropped out of my arts school lmao!!! the BIGGEST change in my life since 2014.;..wow! i dont even have the words to say how much stress was lifted off of me and i love senior yr !!!!

- momo came to CT!!!!!!

- seeing svt live !!!!! but tbh the best part was seeing momo, “I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN SEW”, “I!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIHOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, “IM UNDERAGE”, and when Mo BLASTED to that other line

- LAKE COMPOUNCE LMAOOOOO I LOVE JIHOON PT2!!!!

- my mom, sister, and i took an eight week painting class! i finished two paintings and learned a ton!! honestly a good time

- dream pt. 02.....shes that other Bad Bih....absolutely adore her

- i also learned that its okay to cut people off who are toxic. especially if you have already informed them that they make u feel bad, they are not worth trying to please or keep around. take care of yourself. similarly, its okay to block people, and you dont owe them an explanation

- MADI CAME HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my other half...missed her so much :(((

- riley’s calligraphy christmas !!!!! was so much fun and i loved people’s reactions and i loved learning arohas favorite astro lyrics !!!

- ah...............one of the hardest weeks of my whole life. the pain still lingers, and i know itll hit me again like a boulder the next time we see only four of my angels standing on stage. for four months, i was worried sick about another member, and i even knew he was hurting, that his mental illness was real. my heart aches and there is a piece of it missing, but it will never be replaced. i know you are much happier now, jjong. i love you.

- and also because of that, i have been able to think a lot about how i live my life. thoughts like ‘am i watching out for my family and friends enough?’ ‘am i listening enough?’ ‘is this funny comment worth it?’ ‘am i happy?’ im trying to be better. to not take things for granted, to only be kind, to always be there for those i love, for those who love me. and i will try my hardest to not complain about small or petty inconveniences. to try harder to be optimistic.

- christmas was with my whole family for the first time in five years ;;; she was such a cute girl!

and now on to the next act !!!! its called RILEY’S NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS !!!!!!!!!!

1. lets start with the basic stuff that im 99% not gonna pull through on: keep ur room clean. keep everywhere u go clean, it makes mom upset. eat better, u know there is other foods in this house besides peanut butter and pepperoni and popcorn.

2. send out at least one Lovely Ask per day. i made this goal sometime over the summer, and i did it for a few months until i started to forget ;; its not that hard, u just gotta remember to do it !!

3. sis.....quit Procrastinating.......GET ur FREAKING application done...do ur homework the night before lmao! call who u need to !!! write those thank u cards!!!! go get them scholarships!!!! enter that graphic design contest lmao!!! just DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! time is wasting

4. just be happy

#hot frick this is four pages on google docs FHFJJDSLASJ #anyway heres a word dump #if u actually read this......ur insane................and i love u #about me !#riley's thicc 2017 post #riley really really rambles

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adorkablephil · 7 years

Text

Phan Timeline

For a while now, I’ve been wanting a concise and up-to-date phan timeline to help make my fics as chronologically accurate as possible, but I couldn’t find one, so I decided to make one! I hope other people find it useful, too!

Also, I have linked to relevant YouTube videos wherever possible, so you can check out Dan and Phil looking like cute little babies in Jamaica in 2010, goofing off with PJ and Chris in Italy in 2011, or appearing at various conventions over the years, that sort of thing.

(It’s a bit heavy on the 2009-2010 stuff, because that’s what’s hardest to find & it’s so useful for fetus!phan fics.)

1/30/87 - Phil born in the town of Rawtenstall, in the district (or borough) of Rossendale, in the county of Lancashire, England (17 miles from Manchester)

6/11/91 - Dan born in the town of Wokingham, a historic market town in the county of Berkshire, England (7 miles from Reading)

3/26/06 - Phil uploaded his first video to AmazingPhil on YouTube

??/??/07 - Dan started watching Phil’s videos (probably approximate but mentioned in Dan’s 3/21/17 liveshow)

5/??/08 - Phil created his Twitter account

7/??/08 - Phil received his B.A. in English Language and Linguistics from the University of York (per University of York website)

1/27/09 - first documented tweet between Phil and PJ

2/??/09 - Dan first commented on an AmazingPhil video (I’ve found no actual documentation of this)

5/??/09 - Dan created his Twitter account

5/28/09 - first documented time Dan tweeted Phil (now deleted)

6/2/09 - first documented time Phil replied to Dan on Twitter (now deleted)

6/11/09 - Dan turned 18

6/21/09 - DnP became Facebook friends

6/??/09 - Dan finished school and began his gap year

7/8/09 - Dan tweeted “Just arrived back from a week in Cyprus…” (now deleted)

8/28/09 - Phil finished his final project at the University of York and left university (date estimated based on things he said in his “Burning Walrus” video on 8/24/09)

9/16/09 - Dan created a Dailybooth account and Phil followed it

9/25/09 - Dan posted his first nakedbooth photo (strategically covered in several stuffed animals) to celebrate 100 followers

10/4/09 - Dan posted his second nakedbooth photo with the number 200 (his number of followers) strategically placed

10/7/09 - Phil tweeted “woahh just talked to Dan for 5 hours” (now deleted)

10/10/09 - Dan posted his third nakedbooth photo with a video game controller strategically placed (to celebrate 300 followers)

10/16/09 - Dan posted his first danisnotonfire YouTube video, “Hello Internet.”

10/18/09 - Dan posted his second YouTube video, “Butterfingers”

10/19/09 - DnP first met in Manchester (met at Manchester Piccadilly Station, then went to Starbucks, Apple Store, and the Hilton’s Sky Bar)

10/19/09-10/21/19 - Dan stayed at Phil’s house while his parents were away (including filming of first PINOF on the 20th)

10/23/09 - Dan posted a nakedbooth photo with a lava lamp strategically placed

10/25/09 - first PINOF video posted

10/27/09 - Dan posted his third YouTube video, “Procrastination”

10/31/09 - YouTube Halloween Gathering in London (Dan had posted only 3 videos at this point, starting just a bit more than 2 weeks before the gathering)

11/1/09 - both Dan and Phil headed home after spending the night at an unknown location in London

11/2/09 - Dan uploaded a video which apparently included some of his nakedbooth pics, but it was almost immediately reported and taken down. He replaced it with a “new and improved version” the following day (as mentioned in this tweet), which is clearly this deleted video someone re-uploaded.

11/3/09 - Dan tweeted “just had a biblical-scale arguement with the father. pah, ill find sanctuary on the internet.”

11/6/09-11/9/09 - Dan stayed with Phil (whose parents were home)

11/7/09 - Dan and Phil spent the day with Phil’s friend Stephen Byrne (3sixty5days on Twitter) visiting from Ireland

11/10/09 - Dan posted a nakedbooth photo taken at Phil’s house with Lion strategically placed in the foreground

11/22/09 - Dan tweeted “I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone D:” (now deleted)

11/25/09 - Phil tweeted two photos from a Skype call with Dan. In one of them, Dan’s hand is pulling up his shirt, revealing much of his bare torso. Phil tweeted in response to the pic “woof.” (Phil’s tweet remains, but the photos have been deleted.) Dan tweeted, “four and a half hour skype calls are the best,” which Phil retweeted.

11/26/09 - Dan tweeted “wow 5 hours and 42 minutes on skype xD that’s a new record. the best thing before you fall asleep though :) goodnight guys <3″

11/29/09 - on his way to visit Phil, Dan tweeted “on 3 ½ hour train journey with my laptop xD happy times”

11/29/09 - Dan arrived at Phil’s house to stay while Phil’s parents were away & they went to the Sky Bar in Manchester again (full visit 11/29/09-12/4/09)

12/1/09 - Dan mentioned on Dailybooth that he and Phil had watched “Wall-E” together. Both Dan and Phil tweeted (this and this, but Phil’s tweets seem to be deleted) requesting inappropriate questions for a Q+A video for Dan’s channel (but none was uploaded anytime soon after this?) Dan tweeted, “All I can taste is cherry, all I can smell is cherry, all I can hear is cherry and all I can feel is cherry. Can’t really see much though” (no time stamp, tweet now deleted)

12/2/09 - at 2:16 a.m., while staying at Phil’s house, Dan tweeted “Uma Thurman just watched me have sex” (along with a photo of an Uma Thurman “Kill Bill” poster like the one in Phil’s bedroom, tweet now deleted). Later in the day, they went to see “Paranormal Activity” together.

12/3/09 - Dan and Phil both wrote tweets describing a day of “new mario wii + coke” and “watching ‘the cube’”

12/4/09 - Dan returned home from visiting Phil

12/8/09 - Phil tweeted “awake!! o_O fell asleep on skype to dan” (now deleted)

12/10/09-12/12/09 - Dan stayed with Phil (including another visit to the Sky Bar on the 10th)

12/13/09 - DnP traveled together to the YouTube Festive Gathering in London (including a visit to the Apple Store with various friends)—they stayed overnight on the “giant airbed” at the home of Tom Howes (wtftomcoolio on Twitter), one of Dan’s flirty Twitter friends (who is the same age as Dan)

12/14/09 - Dan and Phil visited the Natural History Museum in London before they each headed home

12/21/09 - Phil tweeted “longest skype call ever :]”

12/22/09-12/24/09 - Dan stayed with Phil (including filming for the Interactive Christmas Adventure video)

12/27/09 - Interactive Christmas Adventure video posted

12/30/09 - Dan tweeted that he was recognized by “a gang of hysterical fans” while waiting to meet Phil at the train station (in Reading—Phil was staying overnight with him so they could travel to London together the next day)

12/31/09 - New Years party at the home of Tom Bacon (tom_bacon on Twitter, SuperBaconNation on YouTube) in London (where Dan drank Malibu and looked really drunk in some pictures)

1/??/10 - Phil received his M.A. in Video Postproduction with Specialisation in Visual Effects from the University of York (per University of York website)

1/1/10 - Phil stayed overnight with Dan in Wokingham

¼/10 - Dan started his internship at a London law firm (during his gap year)

1/6/10 - Dan tweeted that he had become a “YouTube Partner”

1/7/10 - Dan tweeted excitedly that Phil had “over 90,000 subscribers”

1/15/10-1/17/10 - Dan stayed with Phil (went to see “Avatar” in 3D at IMAX, failed attempt to go to Sheffield Gathering due to bad weather)

1/23/10 - Dan tweeted “i strongly dislike the video i made earlier this week, but phil keeps telling me its good and wants me to upload it x] itll be up l8r 2night” (in reference to “New Years Resolution Fail”)

1/24/10 - Dan tweeted “coming home from manchester…” (so had been visiting Phil again)—got stranded in London along the way due to train issues

1/29/10 - Dan’s London law firm internship ended (during his gap year)

2/2/10 - Dan tweeted “this is so traumatic ;_; i don’t care how much i fail i just want the pressure to be behind me. i just want to move on” (in reference to revising for exam)

2/3/10 - some big exam for Dan (but this was during his gap year?)

2/4/10 - Dan received his unconditional acceptance to Manchester University

2/13/10 - infamous Valentine’s Day (v-day) video posted privately to LessAmazingPhil while Dan was in India with his family

2/14/10 - Dan tweeted “I’m fed up of India.. there is somewhere else I want to be right now :[ <3″

2/20/10-2/23/10 - Dan visited Phil (directly after his trip to India and before returning home)

3/5/10-3/9/10 - Phil visited Dan

3/16/10-3/21/10 - Phil visited Dan

4/17/10-4/26/10 - trip to Blackpool and filming of PINOF 2

5/19/10-5/21/10 - London and Thorpe Amusement Park together

5/27/10 - AmazingDan video posted

5/27/10-6/3/10 - trip to Portugal (Phil mentions it briefly with some photos in his “World’s Biggest Chip?!” video, showing that they visited the Zoomarine in Guia, drank sangria, and spent time exploring the rocky coastline)

5/28/10 - PINOF 2 video posted (from Portugal, as Phil tweeted “thank you portugal internet ;_; Q+A upload failed after 6 hrs. Video will be up in.. 6hrs 46. x____x sorry”)

6/11/10-6/18/10 - E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) in Los Angeles (with Bryony, PJ, and others)

6/27/10-7/6/10?? - Dan visited Phil

7/26/10-8/2/10 - YouTuber Jamaica trip

8/6/10-8/8/10 - Summer in the City convention in London (only Dan attended because Phil was apartment hunting)

8/13/10-8/21/10?? - Dan visited and helped Phil move into his own apartment in Manchester

8/31/10-9/12/10 - at Phil’s place, StickAID collabs (1 & 2), zoo (on the 5th), and Muse concert (on the 11th)

9/16/10 - Dan arrived at Manchester University

11/16/10 - Dan hospitalized in Manchester with Phil’s help

12/23/10 - AmazingDan 2 video posted

2/10/11 - Phil was with Dan in Wokingham on Dan’s mum’s birthday

6/6/11 - Dan’s withdrawal from Manchester University effective (though the letter from the university to that effect was not sent until 10/24/12, so it’s unclear precisely when Dan actually made the decision and officially informed them of his wish to withdraw)

7/27/11 - Phil moved to their new apartment in Manchester

8/10/11?? - Dan moved in with Phil in Manchester

8/12/11-8/14/11 - Summer in the City convention (in London)

8/28/11 - DnP went to a Muse concert together

8/30/11-9/13/11 - DnP went to Italy with PJ & crabstickz

9/17/11 - infamous Valentine’s Day (v-day) video unprivated by YouTube glitch (didn’t circulate widely)

10/17/11 - DnP started The Super Amazing Project

11/1/11 - PINOF 3 video posted

12/22/11 - first baking video posted (“How to make Christmas cookies!”) (Phil says he has never baked anything before and that this will be his first time.)

12/25/11 - first Dan and Phil Christmas Special on BBC Radio 1

2/14/12 - (Valentine’s Day) Phil tweeted “I want someone to spend the day playing bubble bobble with me! I have reached level 100 but never finished it! ._.”

3/17/12 - DitL in Manchester video posted

3/23/12-3/25/12 - Playlist Live convention (in Orlando, Florida)

4/4/12 - Phil tweeted “At the coolest Thai restaurant ever with @danisnotonfire and family! http://twitpic.com/95mbjx”

5/5/12 - Phil’s first live show on YouNow

6/22/12-6/27/12 - week in Vegas for Dan’s 21st birthday

6/28/12-6/30/12 - VidCon (in southern California)

7/10/12 - Dan’s first live show on YouNow (while flat-hunting in London with Phil)

7/11/12 - Dan’s infamous “fyi i like vagina” tweet in response to @Doctor_Swift’s question about whether he identified as homosexual (I’ve been unable to verify this)

7/23/12 - DnP moved to London

8/17/12-8/19/12 - Summer in the City convention (in London)

9/12/12 - PINOF 4 video posted

10/12/12 - Dan posted his FANDOMS video during a time when he was having difficulty/conflict with ... well ... fans

10/24/12 - Manchester University sent Dan a letter stating that his withdrawal was effective 6/6/11

10/31/12 - infamous Valentine’s Day (v-day) video leaked again and spread wildly on Tumblr (much fan freakage, much Dan freakage)

12/24/12 - DnP ended The Super Amazing Project (though it eventually continued without them)

12/25/12 - second Dan and Phil Christmas Special on BBC Radio 1

1/13/13 - DnP started weekly BBC Radio 1 request show

2/4/13 - Dan hit 1 mil subscribers

3/22/13-3/24/13 - Playlist Live convention (in Orlando, Florida)

5/18/13 - (kinda) DitL in New York video posted

7/6/13 - Phil hit 1 mil subscribers

7/30/13 - Dan hit 2 mil subscribers

8/1/13-8/3/13 - VidCon (in southern California)

8/17/13-8/18/13 - Summer in the City convention (in London)

8/27/13 - DitL in London video posted

11/22/13 - PINOF 5 video posted

12/22/13 - Phil won Sugarscape’s “Hottest Lad 2013” (Dan came in second place, ahead of various members of One Direction, among others)

12/29/13 - Dan hit 3 mil subscribers

2/19/14 - Dan and Phil presented the YouTube livestream of the Brits

3/21/14-3/23/14 - Playlist Live convention (in Orlando, Florida)

6/26/14-6/28/14 - VidCon (in southern California) (when others talked over Phil on the “Guide to Vlogging” panel, Dan grabbed a microphone and asked, “Can Phil express an opinion?”)

8/1/14-8/3/14 - Summer in the City convention (in London)

8/24/14 - DnP ended weekly BBC Radio 1 request show

8/29/14 - Phil hit 2 mil subscribers

9/1/14 - DnP started monthly Internet Takeover on BBC Radio 1

9/11/14 - Dan hit 4 mil subscribers

9/12/14 - DanandPhilGames YouTube channel was created

11/6/14 - PINOF 6 video posted

12/20/14 - Festive DitL video posted

2/6/15-2/8/15 - Playlist Live convention (in Orlando, Florida)

2/13/15 - Dan hosted #NicerInternet special on BBC Radio 1 called “Anti-Social Media Live” featuring various other YouTubers (including Phil)

2/25/15 - Dan and Phil presented the YouTube livestream of the Brits

3/26/15 - TABINOF/TATINOF announced in YouTube trailer

4/9/15-4/20/15 - DnP trip to Japan

4/22/15 - DitL in Japan video posted

7/23/15-7/25/15 - VidCon (in southern California)

8/14/15-8/16/15 - Summer in the City convention (in London)

8/20/15 - Dan hit 5 mil subscribers

10/8/15-11/15/15 - TATINOF UK

10/12/15 - Phil hit 3 mil subscribers

10/13/15 - TABINOF published

11/29/15 - PINOF 7 video posted

2/12/16 - Dan tweeted “i’m off on the family holiday my mum planned for us to spend some quality time with my grandma before she gets too old to travel!”

2/14/16 - Phil tweeted (from his family’s home) “Ahoy! No live show tonight as I’m with family but there will be a rather romantic episode of undertale later!” (So they spent Valentine's Day 2016 apart.)

2/24/16 - Dan and Phil presented the YouTube livestream of the Brits

4/25/16 - last DnP Internet Takeover on BBC1 Radio 1 (pre-recorded episode which aired while they were in the US)

4/22/16-6/23/16 - TATINOF US/Canada

6/23/16-6/25/16 - VidCon (in southern California)

7/29/16 - Dan tweeted “finally @AmazingPhil exposed” along with photo of Phil eating Crunchy Nut out of the box

8/10/16 - Dan hit 6 mil subscribers

8/14/16-8/26/16 - TATINOF Australia (visited Hong Kong on their way there [possibly 8/7/16-8/8/16] and again on their way home [possibly 8/28/16-8/29/16])

8/21/16 - DitL in Australia video posted

8/22/16 - Dan painted his fingernails black

8/28/16?? - went to Ozone sky bar in Hong Kong (on way to Australia)

10/5/16 - TATINOF documentaries released on YouTube Red

10/23/16 - DnP jointly won “Best Vlogger” at the BBC Radio 1 Teen Awards

10/31/16 - “Monster Pops” video posted to danisnotonfire, spawning the “Post-Baking Universe”

11/3/16 - DAPGO published

11/21/16 - TATINOF in Dublin

11/22/16 - BONCAs (TATINOF won Film of the Year, PINOF 7 won Collaboration of the Year, and Phil won British Creator of the Year—Phil called Dan up onstage to share his individual Creator of the Year award)

11/27/16 - TATINOF in Berlin

11/29/16 - PINOF 8 video posted

12/5/16-12/6/16 - TATINOF in Stockholm

1/17/17 - Dan officially stopped straightening his hair, saying in his live show (which he titled “I have ‘Hobbit hair’ now!’), “Wavey Dan is rising.”

1/30/17 - Phil’s 30th birthday

1/30/17 - while on holiday with Phil’s family on the Isle of Man, Dan tweeted “happy birthday to @AmazingPhil you may be on the road to death but the light and warmth you bring to our lives is as everlasting as the sun”

3/14/17 - Phil hit 4 million subscribers

3/21/17 - Dan mentioned the mysterious “that week in March” in his live show, spawning a million phan theories and constant harassment of him to explain (he later explained that it was about running out of anti-depressants and suffering terrible withdrawal effects for the previous 10 days or so)

3/30/17 - “the pantsless live show” (when Dan and Phil both moved their blanket and camera around in such a way as to hide their lower bodies throughout)

4/10/17 - visited 1-Altitude sky bar in Singapore (on way to Australia)

4/15/17-4/17/17 - Cool for Summer Festival in Australia (visited Singapore on their way there and again on their way home)

4/16/17 - Dan painted his nails sparkly

4/26/17 - moved to second London apartment

5/1/17 - Dan rebranded from danisnotonfire to Daniel Howell, changing the names on all his social media accounts but keeping his YouTube channel name the same

5/5/17-5/7/17 - Playlist Live convention (in Orlando, Florida) (after which they vacationed in Florida with Phil’s family, including a visit to Miami)

6/21/17-6/24/17 - Vidcon (in southern California)

8/26/17 - first livestreamed video from DanAndPhilGAMES, “THE PHAN-PRIX”

9/9/17-9/18/17 - vacation at “an island in the Mediterranean” with friends (most likely Bryony and Wirrow)

9/25/17-9/27/17 - YouTube Creator Summit in Madrid, Spain

10/10/17 - Dan widely publicized World Mental Health Day in his live show, on Instagram, and on Twitter

10/11/17 - Dan posted his widely-praised “Daniel and Depression” video

10/17/17 - Dan was named an official Ambassador for the UK youth mental health charity YoungMinds

10/17/17 - Dan explained “that week in March” in his live show, explaining that it was 2 weeks that he went through withdrawal symptoms from running out of anti-depressants (Note: many phans then extremely contrite for having built up so many conspiracy theories and harassing him over and over again to explain since he first mentioned it in his live show on 3/21/17)

10/19/17 - the release of “Truth Bombs,” Dan and Phil’s party game (on the 8th anniversary of their first meeting), including the upload of a video of them playing the game with Tomska and Hazel Hayes

10/30/17 - the conjoined Halloween baking video basically broke the phandom and trended at #7 on YouTube, despite the amount of swearing and innuendo

11/10/17 - the 2018 Interactive Introverts world tour was announced

11/16/17 - Dan participated (with Prince William) in the announcement of the StopSpeakSupport anti-cyberbullying campaign

11/24/17 - PINOF9 video uploaded

12/??/17-12/??/17 - Dan spent time with the Lesters on the Isle of Man before going home to spend the actual holiday with his family

1/30/18 - Dan posted Phil’s birthday tweet with a photo of a cake that said, “Show me your birthday philussy,” which Phil then had to explain to his parents

2/14/18 - Dan and Phil went out to Valentine’s Day lunch with Martyn and Cornelia to celebrate Cornelia’s birthday

4/28/18 - Interactive Introverts world tour began in Brighton, England

Notes: I tried to include only events and dates that are clearly and readily documented online (mostly on Twitter or YouTube, but also occasionally Instagram, Wikipedia, or news articles), but I did also consult @thephandirectory and danie & felucca’s Dan & Phil Timeline of Early IRL Meetings), both of which include archived social media posts (tweets, Dailybooths, etc.) from 2009 and early 2010, since both Dan and Phil (but especially Dan) have deleted a lot of stuff from the early days (which Dan even jokes about in his Diss Track).

This is not intended to be a comprehensive timeline of everything they’ve done, because that would be ridiculous. I was just trying to include events that are most commonly discussed in the phandom, events that seemed important to their relationship, and events that seemed most important to their careers.

If I list just the name of an event (such as a convention or YouTuber gathering) with no other details, that means that Dan and Phil both attended.

In a few places, I wasn’t sure of exact dates or found conflicting information (such as exactly what date Dan moved into the apartment with Phil in Manchester), and I’ve gone with the source that seemed more reliable and/or included question marks. Also, there may occasionally be a one-day error where I had difficulty translating US time to UK time on an existing Twitter post. I researched long and hard, so I hope I haven’t made any stupid mistakes! If anyone wants to help refine or correct this timeline, feel free to message me with any additional information.

Also, tons and tons of thanks to @alittledizzy for her invaluable help with the early stuff!

Disclaimer: While I do ship phan, I’ve tried to just state facts throughout without adding any speculation.

#phan #phandom #dan and phil #phan timeline project #phan timeline

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reviewkidoodle · 5 years

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Best Purchases of 2018

Here’s the post I’ve been meaning to write for a month and a half. Last year I started my now annual “Best Purchases” post from the previous year. I figure having certain items long enough warrants enough time to give them a fair review. Some of the items on this year’s list were purchased in 2018 although we didn’t start using them till this year but I’m still including them because I love them so much.

One || Our Patio Set

These pieces were individual purchases (two separate loveseats and a chair set which included the coffee table) so you could purchase as many or as few as the pieces as you’d like. After months of use they were very comfortable and I didn’t notice any adverse wear on the cushions (except from kids bringing food over to them). The cushions stayed the perfect firmness and we had only one or two spots where the wicker popped up… I was nervous there was going to be a lot more with four kids!

I’d HIGHLY recommend this set. I’d also highly recommend these covers for them, they are a little big which makes putting them on a breeze (no struggling to put ones that fit them like a glove on).

You can read the full post about the patio set here.

Two and Three || Apron Front Sink and Bridge Faucet

While we bought these months ago we’ve only been using them for a few weeks but so far I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. They both feel really sturdy and well-made. The sink has SO MUCH ROOM IN IT and I love that it came with a grate to protect the bottom of the sink. The prices on these two items are really affordable in comparison to similar items.

Four|| DW Home Gardenia Candle

If my home had a signature scent this would be it. I find all my DW Home Gardenia candles at Marshalls but in case you can’t here is the link to the Amazon one. It’s about $8 more than you’ll spend on it at Marshalls.

Five || Therapedic Weighted Blanket

Therapedic sent me some products in October or November that they wanted help getting the word out about. I just needed to do an Instagram post and a stories about them but I can’t stop talking about them (you’ll see another one of the items made the list in the clothing section). This weighted blanket is so different from anything we’ve ever had but we love it. I think I sleep better and deeper, it keeps me SO warm and generally is one of my favorite blankets EVER. The first few nights are so weird and I hate when it’s laying on my throat but otherwise it’s INCREDIBLE. My guess is that it’ll be a colder weather item for our bed because it really keeps you warm. The downside to it is that it’s pricey but I’d say it’s highly worth it (we have the large size which weighs 20 pounds but I’d get the extra large if you are putting it on a queen bed like we are).

Six|| J. Crew Chambray Dress

I wore this dress on repeat all summer. This unfortunately isn’t the best photo but it was so comfortable and was great to transition from spring to summer and summer to fall. It’s 50% off now too. (There are a lot of dresses from J. Crew Factory that are 50% off now that I’m in love with…)

This dress is almost identical, it just has scalloped sleeves instead of a tie on them.

Seven || Make + Model Joggers

I asked my sister for these pants for my birthday. When she got them about four months ago they had different colors but I’m in love with them. I wear them constantly. They are ridiculously soft and comfy. There are two downsides: the ride pretty low (careful sitting down!) and they pill very easily (I think mine show the pills easily because they are a very light blue so I’d highly recommend the dark blue or black joggers).

Eight || Jo Malone Orange Blossom Perfume

You’ve read my ravings about this perfume before. My mom and dad gave this to me for my birthday this year because I finally ran out of my original bottle and I’ve been in love with it for about eight years since I started using it. The smallest sized bottle lasts me for years.

Nine || Therapedic Memory Foam Slippers

I have worn these slippers EVERY SINGLE DAY since I got them, including this very second. They are under $20, so comfy and really keep my feet warm! (Though Therapedic sent me these free of charge I do not have to promote them… I’m only doing it because they are easily one of my favorite new things from this year.)

Ten || Siblings without Rivalry and Crazy Rich Asians

The fact is not lost on me that I’m recommending two completely different books in the same sentence. Crazy Rich Asians is hysterical and fluffy and about so much stuff that doesn’t matter. There are a few trashy parts but for the most part it’s pretty clean. If you want a good book to escape in this is it… I loved it so much I just started Rich People Problems (also hysterical but haven’t read China Rich Girlfriend yet).

Siblings without Rivalry is amazing. It is making me rethink everything about how I interact with the kids, how I want them to interact together and what I saw in front of them and about them that might be hurting them.

Eleven || Our Double Stroller(s)

This is the stroller that I take everywhere with us (it’s not our jogging stroller which I really adore though (sidenote: we have the single and double BOB jogging stroller and I cannot recommend them highly enough, they’ve last us YEARS, the expensive price is 100% worth it)). This is the stroller that gets us through Target and the grocery store. You’d be surprised at how many groceries you can fit underneath this thing… We chose it because it had great reviews and was pretty affordable!

Everyday stroller

Bob Stroller

Lastly, bonus item:

I got the a Mariposa platter just like this about two years ago and I am in LOVE with it and use it all the time. They are normally VERY expensive but I found the almost identical one to ours for $20 on Amazon, I don’t know if it’s a mistake Amazon made in pricing because they are normally $150ish but I just bought one for $20 this morning and there are only 10 left I think. It would make SUCH a good gift!

Have a great day and don’t forget to check out these posts (especially if you still have coffee in that mug to enjoy!):

2017 Best Purchases

Our Countertop Install

Our Updated House Tour

The post Best Purchases of 2018 appeared first on Migonis Home.

Best Purchases of 2018 posted first on aireloomreview.blogspot.com

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matthew-eleventhirty · 5 years

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so i havent written in a while, maybe thats because what i found out was my worst nightmare. two years, almost two years. i was happy, you were happy i think. but when things started to go crazy you werent happy anymore. i wanna vomit thinking about what our lives used to be, what they used to feel like they were heading towards. but a month out of that, youre with a new girl. im so conflicted- to feel sad or to tell you to fuck off. this is one of the hardest things i had to do and everyone is treating me like im some fragile doll. i hate it, but i also just want someone to wake me up and tell me this was all a dream. yea you were really shitty during some times and i let a loooot slide, but it was all because i loved you. im sorry my friends wrang you out to dry, i didnt tell them to but i was really really appreciative that they did. the second they saw shit was going everywhere. it only makes sense for you to have been cheating on me. i mean, less than three weeks to find a girl, ask her to date you, go to the tree, then post it? you dont post pics with tinder dates...? so who is she? why didnt you tell me? why couldnt you just have been honest. that you wanted something different, that another girl caught your eye. its better to rip the bandaid off with me. but no i sat around freaking out trying my absolute hardest to give you what you wanted. i was nothing but amazing to you, patient with you, caring for you, trying to help you, trying to help you to help us. maybe youll never realize that and think im too pushy. but the words you used, the way you kissed me after. i it doesnt make sense. it doesnt add up. how could you do that to someone you loved, let alone a person. but you know what, everyones right you are a loser and a coward. but lets touch on another point. the means for breaking us up were: 1. no one knows me at school, i want to be more known 2. i just have so much to figure out, i need to be alone to do this 3. if you really love something let it go, if it loves you back itll come back. now mr. i think im going to law school please lets go over this. you 1. have a new girl who lives two towns over and from the looks of it doesnt go to st johns so thats gonna be even more difficult to get your name out there huh 2. YOU HAVE A NEW GIRL SO I GUESS THERE WASNT THAT MUCH TO FIGURE OUT and lastly my favorite 3. that is the cruelest thing you can do to someone- to give them hope when you know there is no reason to. your moms was right, youre not worth crying over. but hey guess all of them are going to be compared to me haha i love it. you played me bill there i said it you fucking played me but dont think for one moment that girl will stop you from freaking out or getting too aggressive dont think that she will have the patience for you when you cant come over or that plans are canceled or that your schedule is so busy dont think that she will care for you the same way i did by trying to help you unload some of that baggage. dont think youll ever have the same relationship with anyone after me. im special, im the whole fucking package and i come with a fucking bow. you missed out, but maybe giving you a chance to miss out was the worst thing i couldve done. you made me feel bad when you had to work extra shift to pay for some wimpy ass birthday gift. they were never wrapped and never as special as i wanted to feel. the only good gift was the ring. but i guess even thats a joke now. you really did a 180. i dont know who this guy is, hes not the person i dated. you were sweeter when you were broke. you were nicer without that fucking car. you were a better boyfriend when you didnt try looking like any other washed up teen spending their parents money to buy the next nicest thing so they post a pic to twitter just to get like 10 likes. you were a much better person and i dont think it was the depression, i think its because youre not able to be your own person. you need to follow trends (and yes by being the first in line to get some weird blue floral print shorts is you following a trend) you needed to have the nicest car but that car isnt even paid for by you. that insurance on those things are so high. your poor parents. i cant believe you really need the nastiest human being on the world just to look like a dumb ass faker. you ugly fuck. i hope she realizes what a fucking prick you are. i cant believe you changed. you were a sweet boy but i was right on the 4th and i was still right in newport and i was right when i told you after we broke up. everything needs to be your way or no way. you needed to play a stupid game with too many rules to show my family you drink we dont care i wanted to spend time with my friend. you really couldnt have let me walk through the stores because you wanted to buy an ugly ass sweatshirt. youre mom called you out on it. you couldnt talk to me when i desperately needed to when i felt like nothing but a shell and would cry myself to sleep and throw up because i cant keep anything down not even coffee. but dont worry because i came out stronger and i will continue to be better because one thing i hope you picked up about me is that i need to be the best, the very top, the prime example for fun and brains. i need to be that. so i will be that, and you will be so far behind it would take you decades to get to where i wouldve been in two years. i hope you realize you are a fucking idiot. and i hope one day i can learn a thing or two from you imbeciles. because im gonna have the best time ever and enjoy being single and enjoy my achievements while you bury yourself in debt. hope you marry rich because at the pace youre going, you wont have a great paying job until your 50s. and the debt youll have no thankyou. i understand college is a rollercoaster and its frustrating to try to find your path but dude, a lawyer... during the third year of your four year scholarship? idiot, might as well just buy a bunch of shit on your credit card and hope it goes away. my next thing to look for is stability, if the people who i am talking to mention a job and aspirations and a plan as to how to work things out and talks about how he knows what he enjoys and has a good relationship with his parents and knows what he needs to do and when to do it. i need a man. i need someone who can and will pick me up just to swing me around his shoulder. i need a man. i need someone who will make me stronger and wiser. i need someone who will want to see me grow and not expect for me to help them get through non- challenging things like organization. you having depression is different. thats when you could expect me to help you. but dear lord, give me the strength to get through this and lord please give me the knowledge to recognize these things fast and to confront them and to know to stand down. lord give me the patience to succeed and to help me heal properly, lord give me the guidance to come out better than ever. life is tricky and its only just begun. i might hold on to this.

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globepreneur-blog · 5 years

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Around the world in 30ish days...a look at my weird itinerary.

New Post has been published on http://www.myonlineincome.info/around-the-world-in-30ish-days-a-look-at-my-weird-itinerary/

Around the world in 30ish days...a look at my weird itinerary.

My partner and I decided to combine two trips that we wanted to do into one. We both work in the food/restaurant industry and January is slow so we both could take off the entire month. This year we had been planning to spend 2 weeks in Switzerland around the holidays to see his extended family, and we also were hoping to go to Tasmania to visit our close friends who moved there and we thought… why not just combine the trips? Maybe itll be cheaper? I’m not sure yet if we have made a terrible mistake, we leave between Christmas and New Years this month.

Day 1: Leave Victoria, BC, Canada –> (layovers in Calgary and London)

Day 2: –> Arrive in Milan, Italy. Spend one night and

Day 3: Take the train to Lucerne, Switzerland where we are getting picked up by family and driven about an hour away.

Day 4-12: Enjoy the Interlaken/Brienz/Bern region where his family lives – planning some hiking or snowshoeing dependent on weather, but no big lofty plans outside of stare at the beauty and eat cheese and bread and chocolate and relax and visit.

Day 13: Fly out of Zurich (layover in Berlin)

Day 14: 8 hour layover in Singapore – we get in at 4am local time which is not ideal for eating tasty things or going on a free tour run by the airport but I’m still optimistic on leaving the airport barring any flight delays.

Day 14 continued: land in Perth, Australia. We are planning on thrifting for summer clothes since our bags will be full of winter and camping gear and it was $500 to add a second checked bag with all our flights. (We paid the $500 to have 1 checked bag though).

Day 14-17: Perth – we fly out near midnight to maximize our time. We want to see Fremantle and cycle Rottnest Island as avid cyclists at home but we will see what’s realistic in the summer heat we aren’t used to – average temperature looks to be 30C/86F.

Day 18: land in Melbourne at 6am, pick up car rental (This post caused me to realize I had bought rental insurance with no rental so after a half hour on the phone that’s amended…) Spend the day exploring the city and our neighborhood.

Day 19: Leave super early for the Great Ocean Road (why we pick up our rental the day before), drive to near Apollo Bay, we are staying inland at a place called Forrest.

Day 20: continue on the GOR to Warrambool, drive back inland. A little worried about driving in the dark so this day might be a little rushed or another early start.

Day 21: return car rental or extend it to the next day depending on desire to do a day hike or go to Phillips island.

Day 22: Melbourne on foot/transit. St. Kilda to see penguins?

Day 23: Fly to Hobart, Tasmania. Go to my friend’s birthday party!!

Day 24: Borong wildlife sanctuary/explore Hobart

Day 25-27: Hike Freycinet peninsula

Day 28: MONA

Day 29: Bruny Island

Day 30-32: Three Capes Track hike

Day 33: back to Hobart

Day 34: Fly home – (layover in Melbourne), 8 hour layover in Honolulu. I’m optimistic about hiking Diamondhead or the Koko Crater trail but we might feel like garbage – land in Victoria after our like 40 hour long day.

Fun facts: 83 hours in layovers or flights. We fly 25,100 miles. The length around the globe at the equator is 24,900 miles and we are technically flying around the whole world. I will have my first summer birthday. The 40 hour return day is my 5 year anniversary with my partner and bending time is very romantic… I think it’s 40 or so hours. We leave Tasmania at 8am and are home on the west coast at midnight of the same day with an 18 hour time change.

Concerns: driving in/around Melbourne. I’ve never seen a hook turn or driven on the other side of the road. Flight delays causing a clusterfuck – I bought trip interruption insurance. Our 2 hour 50 minute layover in London Gatwick… Forest fires – I have asthma. I have medical insurance but that’ll put me out of commission to do almost anything outside. Fitting all of our stuff into two 40L carry ons and one checked 60L trekking bag since we are packing for 2 seasons and are bringing a fair amount of outdoor gear (we are borrowing as much in Tasmania as possible so we dont have to bring a tent, cookware, sleeping rolls etc). I speak enough German to get around but no swiss german – is it more polite to start a conversation in these swiss villages in English or High German? We are largely flying budget airlines – our longest leg (Berlin-Singapore) is on Scoot – how different will this be from Economy in like Westjet or Air Canada or Icelandair? I expect no free food and no in flight entertainment and maybe no power outlet. Jetlag is going to be awful almost the whole time and we would’ve gone Australia and then Switzerland if I booked this today I think.

For daily expenditures we are budgeting around $80/day each spending and excursion money. We have use of a car in Switzerland so that’ll keep down hefty train fares there. Do you think that’s realistic? We will be eating out a lot in Australia. We have done 2 weeks in Western Europe before and 3 weeks in Sweden/Denmark/Iceland and are expecting daily costs to be similar.

I’m expecting some serious critiques of our itinerary that I can reflect on while I’m in the midst of it all!

Tl;dr: Victoria, BC –> Central Switzerland via Milan (it was much cheaper than flying into Zurich) –> Zurich –> Perth (via Singapore) –> Melbourne –> Tasmania –> Victoria (via Honolulu) in 34 days.

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idontwannabeyouanymorw · 6 years

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I feel as if life is in fast forward and it doesn’t care that im falling behind. With everything that’s happened this past year, well this past 8 years, specifically this past year tho I finally feel like Im struggling to stand up. Although I may not be completely up, ive been sitting for so long and all I can do now is acknowledge the fact that im trying to stand up and im taking steps to better myself. Im so much better and stronger than I was almost exactly a year ago. I refuse to ever go back to that person I was a year ago. I refuse to spend another birthday in the hospital. I refuse to let myself ever feel like death was the only option for me. Although its hard for me to see most of the time there is more to live for. Im a dweller and I cant do anything other than try to change my thinking patterns. It comes in waves sometimes I can control my negative disortions but most of the time i have what It seems like little to no control. I catastrophize, that’s all ive ever known and it’s a hard habit it break. Lately ive been feeling very defeated. Ive never don’t this bad in school, its very overwhelming. I bit off way more than I can chew and im suffering all around because of it. I wish I did the two semester option. Im unsure if I want to continue with my education but I know if I don’t use this gi bill I will regret it for the rest of my life. Its just that I feel like I don’t have much left in me anymore. Ive been at war with myself for so long I don’t have much fight left and im barely managing to stay above water as it is.

Lately Ive been realizing that my parents, especially my mom, want me to stay dependent on them. They tell me that I need to grow up when they haven’t taught me to be an adult. I don’t know what they’ve taught me honestly. What type of parent I don’t want to be, what not to do, who not to marry, toxic relationships, addicition. Yes they’ve done a lot for me but I feel like they compensate for their short comings by taking care of me financially. Im trying to save and im trying to start over but my mom is making it impossible and making so that I have to be dependent on them. She wants me to grow up but yet ive come to realize that shes the reason im stagnant financially, emotionally and mentally. I felt so stuck for such a long time until I got in this relationship. Ive learned more about life and how to approach situations in a healthy way in the last month and a half than my parents or my ex ever taught me. Im very happy but I don’t want to let myself become dependent on anyone for anything so I know a part of me will always have some sort of wall up and honestly I don’t know if that’s okay. I’m finding that as an adult im learning and trying to teach myself what a healthy relationship is romantically and familial. Im barely learning boundaries and self worth and self respect and all of that. It’s a hard concept to grasp when you’ve just been introduced to it. I stopped going to therapy because I have 0 time in school but I think that in the time I did go I made a lot of progress.

One thing that ive come to learn is that you really have to put yourself, your emotions, and your boundaries first. For so long I let brandon be the end all be all, wouldn’t live without him sort of thing. Idk how I came to finally realize that I needed to put myself first but im glad I burned him out, poor girl is still with him after he almost choked her to death but that’s not my problem anymore. I never thought id live through that and now I will never go back. I will never let myself get treated that way nor will I ever allow someone to disrespect me in the ways Ive come to think was a normal part of a relationship.

Being with the man im with now is a whole new world. I honestly didn’t think that being treated with respect and compassion and admiration was a thing anymore, and that’s 100% truth. It makes me feel validated about myself when everyone around me always pointed out the negative characteristics about myself. Somehow I feel as if im going to ruin it eventually but that may be just me catastrophizing. For the first few weeks we started talking I was extremely depressed and often would cry in my room and almost broke it off with him because when I get in those mindsets I believe what everyone has told me, even lexi told me im negative and no one wants to be around me (we haven’t hung out since). I truly thought I was doing him more harm than good and that theres no way I can help him grow as a person. It took me a while to get out of those thoughts. I straight up thought he’d run when I told him about my depression, he doesn’t know the severity, I don’t think ill ever express to anyone how severe it is at times except to dina who knows how it is. But im glad that people don’t understand how severe it is and how everything could be going right and you can still feel like dying. Idk I guess I’m just learning how to look at things more positively. He knows a glimpse of how fucked up I am and how damaged I am and still supports me. Idk just shocking to me that youd want to stick around someone who has all these problems. Maybe im being too hard on myself but whatever. Lately ive been focusing on positive emotions rather than ruminating on the negative feelings which has made a difference.

I stopped taking ambien. I crashed my car while I was really fucked up off ambien and well that was a wake up call. Don’t remember anything that happened after the crash. I don’t want to be dependent on drugs to do a simple task like sleep. I think ill be on medication for the rest of my life, I might with this cyst, idk what it is and I skipped my appointment. Partly because I don’t want to know whats wrong, and partly because If I need surgery my mom would make me go in right away and I cant afford to go with school. Hopefully its just a pill to shrink it.

Im stressing about these finals coming up, I haven’t even faced all the stress im supposed to be feeling head on because honestly I don’t care anymore. Theres not much fight left in me. Like I said ive been at war with myself for so long it gets exhausting. I don’t think itll ever get easier you just learn how to cope more efficiently.

Growing up, having the problems that ive had, struggling mentally the way I know, ive honestly never believed I would have a family or get a career or get married. Partly because I was in a toxic relationship and knew he could never offer those things to me and he made me anti everything and partly because I saw how fucked up my parents relationship is and how badd they fucked up me and my sibilings. I never thought id live past 25. For the first time in my life I can see myself getting married and having kids and living a normal life. I have dreams about it all the time. It’s the strangest sensation . maybe because im in a better place, the best place ive ever been, or maybe because someone has actually showed me that im loveable and to believe that im an okay person. Maybe it’s a combination of all of the above. All I know is whatever im doing is working and its not smooth sailings from here, not even close, and the work will never stop that itll all come together one day and work out for the better. Some days I want to quit but idk I just feel like its time I stop giving up and strive to do something better, make someones life better, or even day better.

Haven’t written in like a month and this is the longest post ive ever written. So grammatically incorrect and painful but oh whale.

Will try to write again soooon.

Doing a walk to promote suicide awareness with my sister. It means a lot that she is doing this, shes the one who brought it to my attention actually. Im glad that shes walking with me and not for me.

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