#if cstubbo and csranboo and cstommy and csEVERYONE have to go through the recovery process goddammit so do i

[elytrafemme]

sometimes when i write the ending notes for CS chapters i’m like. this really is not enough b/c i am trying to link art and shit and i’m like. how do i make the ao3-only readers understand that these people have fundamentally changed how i feel about my writing and brought me so much joy all the time and kept me writing this fic and also create like the most incredible art for free. like i would almost co author people if it wouldn’t be like inherently untrue but also like this stupid fucking fanfiction is nothing without people making it less of a stupid fucking fanfiction and more of this cool thing.

anyway goddammit i feel like shit that i haven’t posted the chapter yet. promise that i’ll get it out next week i swear on my life. 

#nightmare.personal #nightmare.cough-syrup #up until this point i was like kind of okay with me not posting it yet bc i get it but also. fuck. #people do not realize how much they've done for me w this fic i dont' want to seem ungrateful #also part of it is like for me personally. i want to work on it bc cs is helping me cope with shit #if cstubbo and csranboo and cstommy and csEVERYONE have to go through the recovery process goddammit so do i #and so will the people reading it hopefully. #and we'll all make it through. we will #just. goddammit! it'll come out next week i swear to God #i miss my fic so bad its like my kid at this point