#idk. but its worth a shot to me.]

[laesas]

The hands holding yours are not clean either.

VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)

#Disclaimer: I have very complicated feelings about this show and this couple after everything that's happened over the past month #I actually started these in late december for a friends birthday but the colouring ended up so complicated I didnt get it done #and while I'm still untangling how I feel about the fandom and fan culture and the whole situation (tldr: bad sad parasocially betrayed lol #I was so proud of these for my 3rd ever gifset the absolutely insane amount of time I spent on the colouring and masking against shaky shot #like I genuinely had to keyframe adjust about 8 different overlapping layers frame-by-frame for at least 1 of these lol #and perhaps selfishly: I need to post bc I can't bring myself to work on new sets while this was staring back at me every time i opened PS #And I'm proud of it and it meant a lot and even though the shape of the fandom and friendships have changed its still worth something to me #anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol #VegasPete #kinnporche the series #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #asiandramasource #asianlgbtqdramas #lgbtedit #vegas kp #pete kp #idk idk idk I feel like this is my one last little love letter to these silly little characters that meant a lot to me #and to the friends that inspired it too #on a lighter note: the caption is an adapted taemin lyric and the colours were inspired by the criminal MV lmao #so like lol its not that deep :') #aaaand post. #bee.gif #kpts

[splankie]

the sillies

#i think im gonna start posting wips if i like them enough #bc i neverrrrr finish drawings #and maybe posting wips will make me actually finish them??? #idk worth a shot! #bc i rlly want to finish this one... its gonna be so cute #also now everyone can see part of my drawing process #that being 1 layer for each character and i just keep drawing on top of things and then erasing things i dont like #or that dont need to be there #anyway! #i like annabeths hair #im still figuring out my own way of drawing hair #and i like what i did w her :) #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjo #art by cricket

[lokh]

unfortunately i dont believe stimuwrite is working for me

#shame u_u ah well it was worth a shot #remember how i literally cant do anything else when watching the beating u unconscious asmr #becos like. idk it literally grabs hold of my attention i think its too stimulating #the soundscape. is doing that to me #i know its like Then just turn it off????? #but then its basically a normal word processor. at which point that is also not working clearly LMAO #its also very likely that this is not and has never been a stimulation issue #there is some sort of other mental blockage going on <-fear #i say its not working. actually im doing the thing of having it open and then doing everything in my power to avoid actually starting #its possible (unlikely) that ... maybe if i actually start. typing dfhgsdfb gvdfg

[nullcoast]

Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.

We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.

#essentially #get class conscious #explore spirituality #and understand that a human being is an astounding phenomenon and every single one is amazing and terrifying #and is worth the effort of understanding #and accepting #ok yeah I had 6 shots at 3pm whatever #but fr the time someone cut me off bc I said I don't care about hehim lesbians #like in real life #crazy shit (they later apologized which was sick as fuck of them) #just the fact it spills out beyond the internet is horrible and the internet isn't great itself #bc it could otherwise be utilized as an extremley effective tool for praxis #were it not for infighting #like. i know a lot of white queers who avoid 'straight' seeming poc or jocks or whatever the fuck #idk I understand anxiety fully #but if u continue to stay within a social comfort zone #you will never see the beauty of expression possible within humanity #and placing more value on queer white friends than a straigh black friend..... not great. it's not great. #implicitly aligning with your anxiety or discomfort over how another person operates #not great #I've seen queer white ppl treat homeless ppl like SHIT bc ' my anxiety!!' #its fucked up #and it makes me understand why certain demographics see queerness as a rich white phenomoneon (it's not but it makes me understand how ppl #can accept such a ridiculous narrative) #bc white queers such as myself only experiment with radical thought and action within the comfort of whiteness #anything outside that it's the same old white attitude towards others #idk like. what do u do when u meet a homeless guy who is antivax and scizo #do u jsut write him off as a loony conservative? anti lgbt? what do u do? #I've seen this contradiction arise and I'm #just deeply ashamed of how my community is prone to reacting

[dawnthefluffyduck]

I'm back :D thanks for the well wishes! I don't know if I really took much of a break from tumblr, but I have completely deleted tiktok and twitter, and I don't plan on bringing them back anytime soon. Hopefully that'll have some more long term benefits bc right now, breaking the habit of checking them regularly is surprisingly tough :') talked to a friend on the phone over the weekend though which was nice, and I cleaned up my room a bit, so I'll be alright ^-^

Doodle and class posts resuming soon; I've got a few drawings I've accrued over the weekend 🎉🎉

#I'll be honest #the break didn't help at all lol #i was sad before but now I'm sad and lonely #you know that feeling where you actively feel yourself regressing? not eating or talking to people consistently? #its that #but idk what to do about it #giving tumblr a break was worth a shot #the worst that couldve happened was it not helping #so at the very least #i can no longer say i didnt do anything about it haha #anyway i like sharing my goofy little drawings #so i think I'll keep doing that :) #even if only a few people see them #thats more than enough for me #thank you to anyone who's followed my art #it makes me happy that people are interested in what I do ^-^ #🥕🥕 here's some carrots #i heard they're good for your eyes; esp after reading all of those tags lol

[sewercentipede]

cant decide btwn 2", 3", or 4.75" heritage rough rider .22lr revolver

cuz i want a teenie tiny small caliber handgun that i could fit in a purse and ive never owned a revolver but they r fun and id like one

#lol idk anyone on here who is into guns but yk. worth a shot ig #these r on sale super cheap and my husband has enough money for one for me #9mm caliber is like too much recoil for me lol.....im small #im way more comfortable w small caliber even if its not gonna be able to do much damage it at least can deter someone trying to attack me #for self defense #guns #up #gun

[cptnbeefheart]

i think i gotta pl;ay fallout 4 ..

#YAPPING this morninh #i tried watching the show i DIDNT LIKE IT. i would rather play the games #in middle school i tried fallout3 but i never felt incentivized to explore the world after getting out of the vault . #i think beth esda games are just like that though idk. ive been playing wolfing stein 2 (2017) and it feels like. beth esda uncharted #i think its just bc its an action adventure and you have like a little team and so far it hasnt been open world the way it was advertised #but ive been getting into the lore of the world in falloiut and im really enjoying it so maybe my game tastes have changed idk its worth a #shot :D i watched this video abt ghoul being an embodiment of the mythologized wild west genre in american pop culture history and how #pervasive a fantasy like that is. the continuation of manifest destiny and rooted in white supremacy yk. but also through the fallout lens #of 'Look at this idealized nuclear family/ american dream and look who it excludes look how it fails' and its really making me wanna try #playing again. i think one of my biggest flaws that i hate is that i cannot tolerate playing old games that are ugly in retrospect .... i #just cant.... i cant play the first red dead its too ugly im sorry... but i WILL research the lore and stuff #anyway thats why i think ill try 4. im just worried i wont like it bc you know.. i like platform action adventures.. not corny shit like #uncharted but idk maybe its an antiquated way of designing games but i like levels i like being given a campaign. i think my favorite way a #game works is like the way red dead does it. the story progresses but you can also explore on your own time. and the world changes as the #story progresses. idk i think i just maybe am not the target audience for any bethesda game LMFAO. anyway if anyone wants to give some #wise words regarding this Advice opinions etc feel free to send asks leave replies dm me :D

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

if three years and four shots later I've caught covid I'm going to be so pissed off

#kee speaks #i was doing so much better this morning asides from a cough #but now suddenly i'm all achy again and absolutely freezing while wearing a hoodie and under blankets #and i checked the thermostat and it says its 23 degrees in the house #so it's not cold enough for me to be this fucking cold #i have a home test from last year that i'll take tomorrow morning #idk if it'll still be accurate but worth a shot #i certainly aint leaving the house to get a fresh one

[saphy-kat98]

Quick WIP view of my soon-to-be web comic series

"Septorial"

#might post the comic on webtoons #but idk if they'd allow profanity and sex *eye emoji* #but its worth a shot its not like theyll publicly execute me if i pitch my idea #BUT I DO WANNA MAKE A WEBSITE FOR MY COMIC SOOOO PLZ BE AS EXCITED AS I AM #art #digital art #drawing #original character #oc artwork #oc #oc drawings #digital sketch #original comic #my comic #my friends oc #oc content #oc comic #its a webcomic #webcomic #web comic #comic page #comic #comic art

[ma-39]

Apparently adding a mountain of sugar makes hops tea drinkable

#yipping! #it isnt making me eepy but theres another 'effect' i read abkht on an jnreliable forum #but its worth a shot idk

[spinoff-antithesis]

finally cracked im writing my theories on color symbolism in rottmnt god help me

#kitty rambles #its mostly abt karai n casey (sr) rn bc i thought too long abt the color green (look me dead in the eyes and say casey isnt red + green) #but i wanna extend it to the boys april + MAYBE splinter and sunita but idk much abt sunita and im in a rise!humans mood atm #its all rly bullet points i havent written a real essay in fucking ages and theyre so hard to WRITE #damn imagine graduating college and still writing essays couldnt be me!! <- its me hi im the problem its me #the things i do bc of my adhd #this is ALSO making me think too hard abt casey & karai i adore them so much i wish we got more of them i wish s2 hadnt been canceled #ALSO TEAL IS CASEY JR LIKE. YOU GOTTA HEAR ME OUT ON THIS /gets shot #i think a solid secondary color for him would be white tbh #in part bc he's the result of an entire generation's worth of love and reflects that in everything he is. but also bc of some of the meaning

[kittdestiny]

ghh i absolutely need financial help for college but first i absolutely need to take more commissions

#meow_log #idk how much itll help me but its worth a shot

[dykegonzo]

anybody else being slowly torn apart by grief? molecule by molecule the body disintegrating? or just me

#maybe another tattoo will fix me idk. probly not but its worth a shot

[audiovisualrecall]

Laying in bed feeling depressed

#maybe I'm wrong but i think ive been more depressed since i started as floral specialist at work than i had been before. idk. #like my memory doesnt function right so idk for sure- anything older than x but newer than y is like *poof* #but uh i feel like ive been more stressed #well ok actually its been since i started trying to go for supervisor. that was the move that started the increased stress and that led to #floral specialist and now I'm here #struggling with depression. i dont want to go to the botanical garden w ma later but i also dont Not want to #bc the idea of going doesnt fill me w excitement/joy. like theres nothing but depression going 'but youve been there 100 times. nothing new #but the idea of not going does make me Unhappy. bc itll be 5pm and I'll be sitting around doing nothing and regretting not going #and making that bad mood everyone else's problem #but like i want to do all these other things today #i also wish i hadnt broken my bike and then insisted it was not worth fixing bc i would Love to go for a bikeride and I don't have a #working bike to use #I'm stressed abt this wk at work bc mday biggest floral holiday and im anxious its going to be a mess #and also I'm most likely gonna get my period during this coming wk. which is Fantastic /s #my parents have been talking abt maybe as early as next year or a couple years my dad retiring and them moving somewhere warmer #but i meant to be in a better position mentally and like. I'm terms of being able to take care of myself and do things on my own or at all! #I'm not ready and I'll be 30 next feb and I dont feel it. i feel like i did 5 years ago it doesnt feel like 5 yrs have passed at all #well 4 yrs rn #I'm anxious and depressed and i need to learn to drive and make doctors appointments and pay my bills #my dad still gives me my humira shot half the time and i dont entirely trust myself w it on my own without him or someone else around #at least. i can do it but i don't want to have to #i think they dont see how much support i actually need. like everyone thinks I'm low-support-needs autist and thats very clearly not true! #but since i live w my parents no one notices #i need some support. not a ton. but i need someone i can rely on to remember important things. someone i can rely on to help me w my humira #someone who will make meals when i cant. and remind me of when stuff is due. and someone to support me when I'm sick. #and someone to talk to. someone else to feed my pet half of their meals. so i can have a pet at all. #i need someone to interact with who lives w me or is around frequently at least #and its not going to happen #and im just. i either have to follow them wherever they go - which is not a good idea #i refuse to go to certain states bc of fascistic leadership and queerphobic and misogynistic laws

[jackalopefreckles]

Hey should i put on my moms wedding dress or is that legit crazy

#just... I have to store it for her now.. idk it probably wont fit and if it doesn't its getting taken off immediately LMAO not breakingthay #shed legit kill me lmao #but also idk I assumed she saved it for me??? and even with testosterone like- lmao before top surgery it never wouldve fit #my mom was flat as fuck until she had kids smh rude ass genes gave me triple ds anyway #BUT I BET WERE SIMILAR IN SIZE AT LEAST??? worth a shot??? #idk I legit havent worn a dress since I was 16 I kinda.. wanna try just to see how it looks and thats the only one available #which.. is probably insane lmao I should just idk hit a dressing room and bring some real #REALL gender vibey clothes too to offset or magve accessorize?? idk something to do lmao

[owl-fruit]

‘

#a thought i’ve just had about the situation causing a lot of this distress is about being viewed by my friends #i react a certain way to things; not ways that i like or am proud of but it’s in the chemistry of my brain to do so #and there are things that not even therapy can fix only make tiny improvements #while i’ve been trying to find the words to explain how i perceive the world to them in realizing more than its circular #i can explain it all i want but they won’t hear it because it’s not a matter of the words anymore #my friends say they love me but i’m telling them that there are some fundamental differences in how my brain deals with things #differences caused by my ptsd and autism (and probably other things as well) #these are unchangable facts about me- they’re not perfect but they’re not inherently bad especially since i’m /trying/ #but if they won’t listen and give understanding a shot then… i don’t think they understand that our baselines are different #they can’t rewire my perspective despite how much i wish they could #so if they truly loved me and accepted me- wouldn’t the loving thing be to meet me halfway? accept that i cant have the same baseline? #i know it’s easier said than done but if they can’t love me anyway for these flaws… idk what to do #and i’m not saying either of them are neurotypical because they’re not but they don’t seem to grasp exactly what my neurodivergence modes #that this is one of the ‘not-quirky’ parts that’s really easy for people to turn their nose up to #please i can be useful i can be worth it id do almost anything to prove it i just need them to see me #personal vent