#idk why they give valtteri pictures

[strollinglance]

i asked my friend who knows nothing about f1 to give the 2021 grid (+ alex albon and callum ilott) nicknames

and this happened...

mick: pomodoro

because of that one cooking video in which he asks for pomodoro, she only remembers him as that and doesn’t acknowledge him as mick only as pomodoro

daniel: dani

because daniel’s too long apparently and i stan her for that, i call him dani too, it’s short and sweet, she finds him very hot and loves his hands (me too girl me too)

pierre: french tiddy man

because i sent her one pic of him in which his pecs looked noice, she calls him tiddies too, i stan her for that

charles: bug, charlito, demon child

i call charles a demon child often, she came up with bug because of his big, round eyes (endearing)

max: frog

(self-explanatory) she doesn’t like him at all.

george: aquarius man

because he’s an aquarius and she doesn’t like aquariuses

lance: the rich guy who simps for his gf

i showed her videos of him and sara, she stans

lando: fake peter parker

circles back to a dream i had where lando was spiderman, she doesn’t know his name and only refers to him as fake peter parker

callum: pomodoro’s boyfriend

i sent her schulott pics too, she ships schulott now, and loves poppy :)

alex: alex

because she only remembers him as alex, “wasn’t he teammates with frog?” (max) “yes they used to be teammates” “ooh”

esteban: “idk, rat maybe”

“i don’t know why but he kinda looks like a werewolf”

lewis: hottie

she thinks he’s very hot, i agree. she loves him, i do too. she wants him to win the championship, so do i bestie.

seb: ferret

i call seb my dad more often than i should (he’s one of the only reasons i have a relationship with my dad honestly, gotta give him the benefit). “he looks like a ferret” “he definitely looks like a ferret” *proceeds to send me a picture of an albino ferret after the picture i sent her of seb*

kimi: no nickname

“he looks like a ferret too” closeted simi shipper

antonio: jesus

“WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE RATS” “this jesus is kinda hot”

fernando: sir lion

“his hair looks very soft… i wanna touch…” “he looks like a lion a bit” “sir lion… yeah sir lion” my mum likes alonso don’t ask me why, i don’t know either tbh

checo: mexican willyrex

“he’d make a great youtuber i bet” willyrex is a spanish youtuber i think, he does gameplays and whatever i don’t watch him, he kinda does look like him though

yuki: just yuki

“HE’S SO TINY COMPARED TO TIDDY MAN” (pierre) i know he’s my height lmao “i like him but i don’t have a nickname, he’s just… yuki” “*laughs at him swearing like a sailor*”

nicky: nicky jam

can u tell we listen to a lot of reggaeton? because we do bestie “he’s adorable i like him”

valtteri:

nothing. she think he looks nice though.

carlos:

“isn’t he like… charlito’s friend?” “he’s his teammate” “oh. alright.”

#this is way funnier in spanish #idk why #but here y’all go #i talk f1 and she’s like… fascinating i want to know the drama #<3 #f1 #mick schumacher #lewis hamilton #daniel ricciardo #pierre gasly #charles leclerc #lance stroll #lando norris #valtteri bottas #fernando alonso #kimi raikkonen #alex albon #yuki tsunoda #carlos sainz jr #nicholas latifi #checo pérez #antonio giovinazzi #sebastian vettel #george russell #max verstappen #callum ilott #esteban ocon #tagging everyone in case someone has any of these guys blacklisted #slim shady is typing…