#idk just wanted to vent w my experience and this is an excuse to hype myself up for my fuck it fic

[passmethemolly]

reminder + vent

something i've learned over the course of my short writing "career" (if you wanna call it that) is that- for a bunch of writers- we sure do love to focus on the numbers.

i noticed that we count. we count how many words the chapter is, how many likes or kudos it got on what platform, how many comments were left, how many people were talking about it. the problem i have noticed is that everyone is trying to be the next "big thing". the big fish to be caught. the big diamond in a sea of rocks and dust.

truthfully, I've fallen victim to that as well.

all i could see were numbers when i was writing tidal pools and stars. i poured my blood, sweat, and tears into it- spent hours with an aching neck and tense wrists just to feel that rush to read the comments and see the kudos jump up a few digits. it made my writing feel worth it.

it was then i realized that thought alone was the problem.

chasing snowflakes was my first "fuck it" fic. the first fic i publically posted under molly. it was the moment of me saying "fuck it. I'm gonna write and if people read it, cool. if they don't, i don't care its something to do during quarantine."

i took a long break from writing and every single day i missed it, but it was like a rehab of sorts. the more i faded from twitter and ao3, the more i realized that the internet will only deem things as good when it wants to. no one can force a viral hit nor can they force a notice. it was a hard lesson to see happen as i dropped in followers and the kudos and comments stopped- seeing those precious numbers i once craved to have, disappear. but you know? i felt a lot better for a bit.

I'm choosing to write again and, shit, is it hard! that rehab helped, but can you imagine the surprise i felt when i posted my comeback fic and barely anyone batted an eye. some were excited and i hold those reactions dearly, but i started looking at numbers again- it is that easy to be sucked back in.

so, writers who feel discouraged by the starving void that is internet fame and attention, i propose we start writing those fuck it fics. who fucking cares if the plot develops as you go along? who fucking cares if your characters are lazily stolen from a Minecraft roleplay or horror game? use them! who cares!

what makes your writing worth it is you. what makes your writing good and a big hit is you. its hard not to look at the numbers, i know, but the internet moves fast and that is sadly out of our control. write to have fun and because you like the plot and story and love the characters- not because you carefully crafted a tight plot that sounds forced because you are so sure if you write this it would be the next it thing. i realized that the people who did blow up, blew up because 1. the internet decided they were good enough to and look how fast it moved on to the next thing. and 2. they wrote to write. do the same.

write the fuck it fic. im working on mine right now and i hope to see yours soon.

#writing #fanfic #dnf #ikik its not dnf but im a dnf writer #i literally hate how shitty the internet can make you feel #but its addicting as hell and i wont stop using it so #idk just wanted to vent w my experience and this is an excuse to hype myself up for my fuck it fic #ignore spelling and grammar ! did not proofread #writing is supposed to be fun and if its not fun for you #you are doing something wrong #vent