#i.m. schnoogle
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I.M. Schnoogle: [referring to a broken computer] Why have we never fixed or replaced this monstrosity?
Bugs: You know the deal around here: if it barely woiks, it's not gonna get replaced.
I.M. Schnoogle: Well, I guess that explains why you're still on the payroll, huh? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Somebody stop me!
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Bugs: Mr. Schnoogle, my desk is falling apart and I want a new one. I picked out a lovely one from Acme. It's mahogany, with a little holder for my carrots!
I.M. Schnoogle: Oh, it is beautiful! However, we can't afford it!
Bugs: I'm prepared to quit!
I.M. Schnoogle: I'm prepared to replace you!
Bugs: I hate when you do that!
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Bugs: I was just listing my friends.
I.M. Schnoogle: What about your enemies?
Bugs: All my friends are my enemies. I hate 'em because I have to leave 'em.
I.M. Schnoogle: Yeah, that's the part I like best. You leaving.
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Do you remember you specifically told me to bring one paper clip? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. I said, 'Are you sure, Doc?' And you said, 'Bugs! Bugs! Bugs!' And then you sneezed on my carrot and then you said, 'Don't worry, it's just allergies.' Do you remember that?
Bugs Bunny to I.M. Schnoogle
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I.M. Schnoogle: If you don't come save me, I'm going to fire you Bugs.
Bugs: (over the radio) You gotta try to hold on, Doc! I'll be back soon!
Schnoogle: Bugs... You're fired...
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I.M. Schnoogle: Everyday I tell you I hate that...
Bugs: And everyday, I do it anyway.
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Bugs: You've been lyin' to me. You got three to tell me the truth, 1... 2... 3...
I.M. Schnoogle: YOU'RE THE LIAR! KEEP THE DOLLAR! YOU'RE FIRED!
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I.M. Schnoogle: Aren't you going to give notice that you're quitting?
Bugs: I did when I signed on.
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Bugs: Are you familiar with the union labor codes?
I.M. Schnoogle: Maybe.
Bugs: Section 48? Employees must take meal breaks at regular intervals. I could report you.
I.M. Schnoogle: You know the union labor codes?
Bugs: Of course. I mean, there’s a whole bunch of them that let you slack off a ton, so yeah.
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Bugs: I hear congratulations are in order.
I.M. Schnoogle: So all this is your fault?
Bugs: Nah. I only told them I knew a guy.
Schnoogle: And y-you didn’t want to ask me first?
Bugs: Oh — you weren’t the guy.
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If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign
Bugs Bunny to I.M. Schnoogle
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Bugs: It's well documented Mr. Schnoogle. A siesta woiks. It increases woiker satisfaction and productivity and it is a dying art.
I.M. Schnoogle: Napping is not an art.
Bugs: Well, you haven't seen me nap, I take it to a whole new level.
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I.M. Schnoogle: (Upset about Bugs throwing away a TV flyer) Well why would you throw away-
Bugs: Garbage? I'm an enigma.
Schnoogle: Really, does that pay well? Cause I'm getting the feeling your paper clip career may be winding up.
Bugs: (Sarcastically) Oh no.
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I.M. Schnoogle: If you don't shut those windows you'll be fired.
Bugs: In that case I shall require four weeks' wages in lieu of notice.
Schnoogle: Get out of my sight, rabbit!
Bugs: With pleasure!
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Why is it every time you have a mouthful of freeze-dried carrots, your boss walks in on you?
Bugs Bunny to I.M. Schnoogle
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I.M. Schnoogle: How long've you worked for me?
Bugs: Five - wonderful - years.
Schnoogle: In five years you have never apologized to me. Something's going on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.
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