#i...havent checked to see if this has spelling errors. sorry

[daydreamycrustacean]

-*-*-*-

Summer is as faded as a lone cicada call/ memories so bright I've got to squint just to recall.

okay. so this is something that i wrote a long time ago and tried to make into a comic but ended up abandoning it because I felt it wasn't working out. Many months later I revisited it, re-wrote it and this time I didnt try to give it a "traditional" comic structure (which is what I tried the first time) because I felt this long top-down, more illustrative approach would complement the stream-of-thought-iness of the text better. and hey, here it is.

I wrote the bulk of this thinking about the very idealized way that kaz talks about the way him and bb met, vs how they actually met in the audio drama. I thought about how a more bitter, post-mgsv kaz would think about it and the text just sorta spiraled from there.

Something that i could not include and had to take out was the scene in the audio drama where big boss "convinces" kaz to join msf by almost braking his neck and giving kaz the option to either join bb or die on the spot. It was kinda what originated this- the way that kaz in pw only focuses on the idealized grenade scene and doesn't mention any of the other stuff (which of course, is because the audio drama is just an elaboration on how they met, but I think its interesting what it does character-wise) I think this scene would add more weight to what I wrote at the end of the first comic.

but alas, I could not make it work structurally, the "I wish that grenade would have killed us both" simply flowed much better to the gz helicopter crash.

#dcr art #mgs #metal gear solid #kazuhira miller #under the cut is just me rambling abt this comic #i...havent checked to see if this has spelling errors. sorry #Suicide mention #<- sorry i forgot abt that #comic tag

[lunzbaku]

Kissing Distance

“You are talking mad shit for someone at kissing distance.”

Summary: Shiketsu High School partnered up with U.A. High for joined training week. Bakugou gets paired with F/N, a snarky student from Shiketsu High who ends up making Bakugou ~flustered~

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x F/N

A/N: POV change a little

Ugh. Great. The week i’ve been dreading has finally tumbled upon me.

Joined training week with U.A. Highs Hero Program. I was not looking forward to this week at all. If you couldnt tell already. Its fine though. Right?

I couldn’t care less about anyone from U.A. They all seemed so egotistical and too full of themselves, well at least from what i’ve heard.

“Today is the first day of training and let me tell you we have a long week ahead of ourselves.” Our teacher tells us as we enter U.A. Highs training center. We see Class 1-A standing near Eraser Head. They actually seemed nice.

~~~

“This is Shiketsu Highs hero program, please be respectful as we give you your assigned partners for this week.”

This isnt what you expected at all. We are going to be paired up with someone we havent talked to before? Great. Just great.

“Todoroki is paired with Yoarashi.”

“Bakugou with L/N.”

You were mentally freaking out. Theres no way you were going to be working with U.A.s biggest hothead. Yoarashi and Camie told you all about how he was rude and never shut his mouth. You’ve seen him on the news from when he got kidnapped by the League of Villians, when a Villian tried attacking him and how he won his schools sport festival.

You wanted to see the bright side of things. Being paired up with Bakugou couldn’t be such a bad thing, you thought.

“Thats it. I’ve explained the objectives and the teams, we will start in 20. Take this time to mingle with everyone and get to know your partner a little more.”

You were standing next to Yoarashi as he walks over to Todoroki and the rest of Class 1-A. For some reason you couldnt help being a little excited that Bakugou was your partner. He wasn’t bad looking, you kinda thought he was cute.

“Hi! Im F/N L/N!” You interupt Yoarashi before he gets to shout at Todoroki about his soba preference. You had your hands behind your back as you smile at everyone.

“You can call me Kirishima-“

“Oooo! Your hero costume is so cute!! Im Mina!! I wish I got you as my partner you’re so pretty.” Mina exclaims as she plays with your hair. You giggle.

“And thats Mineta... I’d stay away from him. Hes a pervert.” Mina tells you as both of you walk around the training center as she introduced you to everyone.

“So what about Bakugou?” You ask looking around for him. Mina stops walking and stares at you.

“Oh, Bakugou. He hates everyone but i’ll introduce you guys.” Mina grabs your hand heading over to where ‘bakusquad’ were.

“Im F/N, Im also your partner for this week.” You introduce yourself again, this time putting your hand out for him to shake. He looks up at you then looks over to your hand. He scoffs and gets up from where he was sitting.

“Whatever. Just dont drag me down.” He says walking away from you and everyone else. Your eyes widen at this rude interaction. So shocked that you havent even moved a muscle.

“I dont like to leave people hanging.” Sero laughs as he got up to shake your hand that was still awaiting Bakugous. You feel your ears heat up when Sero shook your hand.

“Well thats Bakugou for you.” Denki said.

“Yeah! Hes like that all the time, don’t take it too personal. Trust me. Been there done that.” Kirishima told you as you giggled.

You honeslty should’ve expected this coming from Katsuki Bakugou.

~~~

The 20 minutes of chatting were up. We all weee next to our assigned partners and were about to begin warm ups. They were designed to help us get closer to our partners and really understand each others quirks, which will help us for the final challenge later this week.

Bakugou and I were in a somewhat secluded section of the training center. All we had to do was get to the other end of the town and take Deku and his partners flag and return back to our station. It was to test our partnership skills mostly. We were given 10 minutes to plan. Shouldn’t be a problem.

“Damn Deku.”

You heard Bakugou huff under his breath.

“Listen. I have an idea. All we have to do is-“

“You dont go around telling me what to do, you damn extra.” Bakugou sneered.

Oh hell no. You werent about to let some egotistical brat talk to you like that. No way.

“Suki, maybe if you weren’t so hotheaded this could’ve been easier.” You sneer back inching closer to him.

“Whatever. Damn woman. Whats your plan.” He huffed again. A smile was drawn on your face. You told Bakugou your plan.”

“Sounds pretty stupid to me.” Bakugou told you. You let out a huff.

“Well. I dont assume you could do any better?” You say back.

“Of course I can. Your plan was complete shit.” Bakugou says. This time inches away from your face.

“You’re talking mad shit for someone whos kissing distance.” You licked your lips.

Bakugou steps back an inch. Not realizing how close the two of you were standing. He felt his checks heat up. He abruptly turns his head away to hide his red cheeks. You both hear the loud noise of the alarm indicating the 10 minutes were up.

“Tsk. We’ll use your shitty plan.” He huffs again while walking away from you.

You cant help but smirk.

You just got Katsuki Bakugou flustered.

A/N: Hey. Its me again. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors I was in a rush to post this!!

#bakugou katsuki #bnha #bnha imagines #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha #mha imagines

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Hi hun! I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. You shouldn't ever feel like that (nor should you ever feel like this isn't a safe place for you to vent). From what I've seen after following you for quite a while, you are endlessly supportive of everyone you come across on this site and deserve that back. I was getting into writing this message (had why you are great points and was ready to write up support arguments) but tumblr cut me off before I could get too sappy. In short, love you!!

hahaha well i super appreciate it thank you! i also super auper appreciate the fact i CAN vent here at all and retain some (relative) anonymity vs ya know fb ♡ i just dont get it, this isnt the way i was raised so why do my prents act this way? why didnt they listen to me over a yearback when i said the cat had tumors and they didnt wanna spend the money to check but at the end they were ready to do ANYTHING it took (we dont even go to the doctors ourselves... thanks amierica) and now dad is SUPER dep[resed over ‘killing’ the cat (it was mercy, i know for a fACT It was but he wasnt unable to use the litterox or jump ike the cat we had to put down last year...the sweetest cat too, I had to be doctor death because my parents couldnt do it and my poor younger siblings (im eldest) couldnt do it) so i had to be the one to technically kil him and that has stuck deep with me, i dont deal with death the same way other people do, i know i dont,, and he was so scared and cried when we brought him and he peed in the cat carrier and i didnt want to do it i wanted to go back home with him, and i made my siblings swear nt to tell my grieving parents, and then THIS cat couldnt been avoidable but they didnt listen to me and now he had to be put down and just im frustrated over what didnt need to hapen even with a 20yr old cat had they LISTENED To me im just upset about a mutlitude of things but htak you for putting up with my venting and nonsense.

i know it makes people feel weird and awkward, and some feel olbgated to say something (plz never do! i would hate to put things on others or emotionally manipulate anyone in any way, i just want to vent nd know it had been ackonlwgned i guess) and i just dont underatand why peopel dont listen (esp. my parents).

I mean, i am the ONLY one of my entire extended family to ever go to colege nd complete a degree. I was technically a diplomat in japan. I have the brain skills to be a CIA operative. i speak and understand mutliple lanagues (i wanna get to ten) and other than that, we grew up homeless until i was about 16? maybe 13 i dont etirely recall, but i have street skills as well and i have live din two foreign countries (cant see the forest through the trees and all that) and yet my opinions still count for shit, or my relaive youth (im over 30, letys make that official i am no child) but my dad keeps saying i dont have the years he has (and i NEVER will while hes alive its a moot point) but my paents are xenophobves and ive WORKED for a foreign givenemnt and lived in two foreign countries but im a woman and bisexual and this goes against everything they undersand as normal, and then where the poor cat is concerned like im not a doc, i got a BA not a BS, so my opinons count for shit, and i just want everyone to be nice qnd take proper action with things and not cause others pain and have empathy towards those who have less (i grew up homeless and we were poor until maybe five-7 years ago?)) and just everything huRTS SO MUCH and i am TRYING so goddamn hard all the time but im ultimately at my parents mercy (i live at home because california is too expesive to live in a real9tively safe place alone) and work is fucking me and im trying so damn hard to be a good person and do whats right and help others when i wouldve wanted help and just looking at the bigger picture and it just hurts because there is no room for good in the world o matter how hard you try and every time i try to gte ahead i just for balls .

The good part is, i have two kittens who will be one year come april(or march i dont remember) and my kitty Scratches LOVES me just for me with no other expectaton, so i mean, i have that much. Basicallt i am just really really hurting and i will probably bounce back in full force rather quickly after this pity party but i am very grateful for the chance to vent and also feel heard so to speak, ya dig? :D

ANyways, thank you anon, i love you, you rock, and sorry for alk the serous spelling errors, i am on my 8th beer of the hour trying to hurt myself and/or make the pain go away BAHAHAH XD aint working yet but i havent brought the weed into the mix yet..... that usualy makes me happy. The xanqx stopped the full blow paic attack over helpless feeligs i am powerless against, but i am not happy but trying to get comfortably num. I am on my 8th beer of the hour tho so HEY lets see!! XD

...i am  a mess. DISCLAIMER do not try any of this at home, i am a 30something queer sad sack with adhd and panic disorder who no loger destoys items but instead tries to destroy herself becaus eit will hurt no one but me LOLOOL

....also i feel SUPER guilty about waiting to update ALL sales final and also the new commission i need to get done solike, bear with me, i am trying SO fucking hard right now and i feel like i am supr letting everyone down but i will get there i promise! I will probably be riht as rain tomorrow and i am sorry for ,lll the maudelin nonsense i know plenty of you are not interested and we wil back to our our regularly scheduled bullahit after i bury it all haha

much love, posonjack

#poisonjack answers #sorry ill delete all this bullshit later i am just hurtng rrlly really bad right now nd it feel beter to ge it out and express myself abd' #then be emabrassed by it tomorrow about how much i lsot control and let all this bulllshgut be witnessed by so many #anyways we all have dayd like this (i am assuming? hahahah) and im very sorry to expose you to mine'i #i just cant do this on facebook ...iam tryong to get laid from an ex-bf i have been on agaian off again with for the past ten years aHAHAHA' #he is HOT #and i am A sad sack right now haha im really really very sorrry for this maudelin nonsense i truly am #it mebarrasing i know and i apologize for that #thak you for allowing me to vent tho. ill be super embarassed after i sober up but im just in pai rn haha

[glitteryhottubavenue]

Days and days and days

thats how it happens

You pracitice something for days and then it becomes yours. Little by little the pieces get put into place and at least your learing and there and figuring it all out. This is the post where I dont give a fuck about spelling errors

sorry bitches

cardi b is the voice of a geneation of girls who need to own themselves

what the fuck did I just listen to

That girl has power, stamina, timing, and intellegence.

get.it.

I think thtere are definte differences between white and black culture and I always feel like I should be speaking up for the female tomboi lesbian population.

There thats it. 

Ugh, still figuring out how to get the difficult stuff into words that are articulate and coherent. Its a process

But again that’s where the practice comes in right.

I can do this for 30 days and then 30 days after that. At some point things will get done

I learend alot about what we can do in a moment tonight onestage. There is a lot of milage in the non verbal scenes when taken at the right time

Now I need to find / create a track that has a slow build into what is a cool song that is obviously pointing in the direction of sex. I’m thinking Erykah Badu’s I Want You and creating a beginning that uses the breathing as a slow build. There needs to be a chord or something underneath it that overwhelms the theatre.

How can I get 3 channels out of my little mini board. Ugh my kingdom to own my own motu. Universe! I need another 8 channel motu to work with please. Maybe I can buy one? I should check in with ebay to see if they have one that I could snag. Then that would make my life a heck of a lot easier cause then I can jump through the LCS and just assign and direct via Qlab.

I only want to have on my station 

my computer

a mixer

a guitar stand

a motu

a horn place

my dj stand

wireless router 

The computer needs to go to 8 channels 

The mixer needs to hook up to the sound system

I need a boom box (or maybe just one with a jambox in it)

I need a speaker on my desk

I need a power strip (computer, mixer, motu, wireless, jambox)

I need a way to hook up to the main system with 10 sends

8 from my computer as playback on Qlab

2 from my mixer that will mix the microphone(s) 1 wired, and 2 wireless, My guitar insert, 

I’m thinking about how I can get the speaker on my desk to play. What would that be? How can I cue that and will I need a seperate line. How many can I get milage out of. I really just need to sit with the system and wrap my mind around how it works, I will do this on Tuesday with my full effort. Maybe I can get a place in pasadena that will be a short distance and that way I can just be in the area. I want to manifest a low rent space in pasadena that would be nice

I havent also figured out my connection but I think I’m getting closer to what the show should be. Tonight I tried to start a remix of Childish Gambino’s Redbone. That jam is my JAM it is so good and I think a very chill transition thing if I can remix it. I just need to tamper with the timing and everything and make a loop or sample that is perfect for the show. you already started to do it with the beginning and now you just need to expand it elsewhere. 

How long do you have to wait after rinsing out your mouth to start eating or drinking stuff again I always forget 

I had a great meeting with paul today.

I apparently am going to learn how to play the trombone

I need to message my friend and ask for help with the following

Desire on the soprano trombone

supersition on guitar

come together 

a beat for desire as a secondline

I need to listen to secondline beats and then match the trombone part to it

I can probably just look up the chords to the various tunes but maybe getting input on how to arrainge the frets though I could probably just look up the different ways to play it and then go from there.

I am again stressing about my right hand no being so good at typing

I think that practice is just doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

I heard that before and it stuck with me

I am astounded at what humans can do all the time

I think we are really fascinating and I can’t believe that the culmination of it all is like out of some terrible 90′s movie about a future dystopia in which the media and entertainment industries have taken over. What is that about. 

Why have we not learned to work with the planet. How can we be multiplying so fast and now learn to sustain ourselves. Who are we and what are we doing here. And what are these connections we feel with one another. and why is sometimes one so strong and the other not and what is love baby dont hurt me no more

I sometimes get carried away with the spiral of the human condition. I give a lot of words to my explainations and I probably shouldnt be shy about that

These are the ramblings of a girl growing up

I never wanted to be a girl though.

And I have feelings about not seeing that but they are at conflict with the fact that I have seen other girls who look like what I used to look like and so I should probably stand down because it is time for a different civil movement. AND I can also create the movement if I write a good enough script for representaion. I would like to be involved in more projects that represented more people. I like to think that I have a good track record and am constantly supriesed when I find out that others want to do the same and are voicing their stories. I love the lgbt culture I think that there is a utopia out there for that and we had it at one point and I am a little bitter I didn’t get a chance to grow up in that culture but I’m glad for the time I got to spend there and to have met the people that I met because I think it was good for me and I just wish I looked a little more butch. I am working on it. I think its a matter of shrinking my boobs but we’ll see come the end of this apparent 60 day challenge that I;m on. I want to represent queer culture and look good doing it. But also be healthy and not drink after the opening. I won’t drink till the show closes how about that. Unless I do get an apt. close and then maybe when I have the day off the next day but In the meanimte no sir. I can get by on my vape pen and occasional puffs but low dose puffs because I want to be safe driving around this town. I need to stop texing and driving or looking at spoitiy.

omg I recconnected to whitney’s And I will alwaysl love you today. It was magical That lady’s voice oh my god, talent, true talent right there, and that song my god. I wish I had appreciated when it was on the radio back in the day but it was always a slower song and I didnt care because I preferred whiny teenage boys screaming about their adolescens. I should have braved it out and gotten into bikini kill further and discovered i couldve started my own band like they did but I was more interesetd in sports I guess