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#i've been lackinn energy to talk w ppl these days so this is ✨
noxtivagus
·
2 years
Text
Anxiety
#🌙.rambles
#WHEJVJDKJA I WAS RIGHT
#my energy did return w school
#even on four hours of sleep i woke up n
#greeted my friends good morning
#...and texted during class but it's just HR orientation ykyk
#i've been lackinn energy to talk w ppl these days so this is ✨
#i would consider these two childhood friends tho so like yh
#everyone else... still big anxiety 🫠🫠
#we need to know each other for a /long/ time before i can really feel comfortable opening up
#there are surprising times where i'm comfortable enough to actually open up but for the majority of ppl i'm super fucking quiet
#speaking of that two messenger gcs for this school year are in my message requests n i wna die
#everyone's changing their nickname yk :') in big grps of ppl it really makes me anxious to stand out from the crowd
#the first step is just really difficult. i can't do what i need to do bcs i just freeze in. fear or anxiety idfk
#that's really stressing me out rn
#n then when i say i'm ambitious i really mean that. i want to improve every aspect of my life
#i want to enrich my social life and have more friends/have deeper friendships but
#social anxiety for fuck's sake
#in discord i'm more comfortable w talking
#when i'm w others i'm comfy with that enables me to be less shy
#in general i really struggle with anxiety at first :')
#once you get that initial barrier down and give me a comfortable atmosphere then i feel a bit more free but
#then it's either i talk a lot (i thrive in my passions or when i'm with people i love)
#or i still don't. i stay more as an observer
#THE PROBLEM IS. I REALLY WANT TO ENGAGE MORE IN MY LIFE
#when it comes to texting it's either easier or harder for me.
#n then w voice if i feel comfy talking then that's nice fr me! a lot of times i'm also anxious to unmute tho
#n then in convos i typically like to tie up ends in topics so. if i get nervous then it's harder for me to
#yeah talk n all. either way i find it difficult to lead in convos unless i'm not really stressing out (...which is uncommon)
#in texting sometimes i deal woth a sort of writer's block so it's hard for me to get words out. voice (and esp irl) is nicer in a sense that
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