#i wish neighbours was a show you could easily rewatch.

[mollydollydreams]

Thinking about cnc today but like...in a soft way...not super violent, just...coercive. You're not gonna throw me down while I kick and scream, but you won't have to, because I'm so scared that you might do that or something else that I just do what you say. Then I thought of a scenario but it got somewhere between the two...

I just moved into my own place and you're a friendly older neighbour living across the street. I'm kind of small and not that strong, and you see me through the window struggling to set everything up by myself. After a long day I'm sweaty and tired and hop in the shower, washing myself off, but I totally forgot that I dont have curtains or blinds yet - you can see me stand there oblivious with my back to the window, water spilling over my butt, and you feel yourself get hard. You quickly turn your lights out and take out the zoom lens on your phone, and begin filming me massage the shower cream into various parts of my body. You think how soft I must feel, and begin to stroke yourself, imagining sliding your cock between my butt cheeks. I turn around, facing the window, and absent mindedly rub shower cream on my chest. I begin to touch my nipples a little. You wouldn't really be able to slide your cock between my tits, you think, they're too small. But that's not an issue for you and you keep jerking off as you see me slide one hand below my belly button.

Suddenly you see me make a shocked face as I duck out of the way of the window, then peek round the window frame to see if anyone is around. You laugh to yourself as I dont seem to have seen you, but you get a little frustrated that you didn't get to see more. You rewatch your recorded clip and wish you could have got more detail, so you find some videos of girls who look like me to finish yourself off.

You see me the next day carrying some large bags out of a taxi. I'm not doing a very good job at keeping hold of them, and something small and pink falls out of one. You decide now is a great moment to take a walk, and go outside. You see a light switch flicker on inside, confirming my location, and quickly snatch the item on the ground to put in your pocket. You walk quickly round the block then return home to take a closer look at your find.

Little pink panties, with a Hello Kitty motif and hearts printed all over, lacy edges and a bow in the middle. You feel your cock twitch again and inspect the fabric. You rub it between your fingers - it's soft and smooth, and you imagine what it must feel like covering my pussy. You're getting hard again. You pull and stretch at them, visualising the size of my hips and butt. You look out of the window, but by now I've put my curtains up and you cant see anything. You feel a little resentful - you want to have what you're craving. You put the panties down, put your phone down next to them playing the video of me in the shower, and jerk off hard and fast. You keep your cock pointed at my panties and imagine me in them, so that when you cum you shoot your load all over them, covering them in you.

You dont see much of me for a couple of days. Then you see a truck pull up outside my place - it's a furniture brand. A man gets out of the driver's seat and takes some large flat boxes out of the truck to place by my front door, and you see me open the door to let him in. I look tiny next to him and it's obvious I could never carry them inside by myself, so you see the man pick the boxes up again and take them inside. You take a look at my miniskirt and cami top. The delivery man leaves and you see him looking too. The truck leaves; you decide to be a good neighbour and come say hello. You want to see me more closely.

You knock and wait for me to answer. I open the door, looking a little confused, tucking my hair behind my ear. Already flustered - perfect, you think. You look down at me, realising you can see the outline of my nipples. You introduce yourself and explain that you live across the street, and that you just thought you'd say hi...but wasn't that truck from that furniture place? And dont you have to put those things together yourself? I half heartedly reply that yes it is, and I'm about to put it together so I should really go. You interrupt me to joke that that must be why I look so flustered and ask what it is, and I nervously reply that it's just some shelves. You say you can put that together for me in no time if I'd like. I look a little more nervous and make an excuse that I dont want you to go to any trouble, and begin to back away. You ask if I'm sure, and step forward. I begin to reply and close the door a little, and you know I'm not going to say yes, so you step right in and push the door back at me, stating you just cant leave that work to a young delicate lady such as myself.

I'm visibly stunned but smile a little and slowly close the door behind me. You ask where it all is and I carefully step past you to lead you to the correct room - as I do, you catch my strawberry and vanilla scent, and you watch my butt as you follow behind me. I gesture into a room and you look inside to see it's a bedroom. Not much is set up, but theres a large bed covered in plushies, a dresser covered in makeup and nail polishes, some of those bags of clothing earlier are spilling open with all kinds of skirts and lacy things falling out. Your bedroom, I ask, and I seem embarrassed as I nod.

"Nothing to be shy about," you say. "I'll help you out. Just think of me as your daddy."

As you're working on the shelves, im hovering by the door looking nervous the whole time. You maneuver yourself to "accidentally" knock a screwdriver over towards me and under a chair behind me, and ask if I could grab it for you. I think for a moment before crouching to get it, but it's gone a little too far under. You see me struggle to lean under the chair to pick it up while holding my skirt in place, but the screwdriver is too far and my skirt is too short. You catch a glimpse of two soft folds underneath heart print panties, before it disappears under my skirt again. I resurface looking a little red and come back to hand you the screwdriver - your fingers clasp mine as you take it and thank me. Nearly done, you assure me. At this point I'm more embarrassed about bending over in front of you than I am about leaving a grown man alone in my bedroom, and leave to wait in the lounge.

You finish the shelves in a few minutes, and hear me rustling through some things down the hall. You take a moment to open my drawers and see more character print panties, little pink bras, and cute socks. You bite your lip to collect yourself and call me into the room - I look relieved to see the shelves fully built. You ask me where I want them and push them against the wall where I pointed, easily lifting the furniture and pushing it into place. You turn around to see me smile and relax a little, and thank you for your help.

"Its no problem," you say, looking at me with the bed behind me. You look me up and down and think about pushing me backwards onto it. Casually, you step to the side a little, towards the door. I step closer to you, thinking you're leaving, but you stop and turn around again. "I hope we'll get on well as neighbours then?"

I'm a little surprised. "O-of course! Really appreciate the help!"

You take another step to the side, standing between me and the door, and I stop smiling. You casually close the door and turn back towards me. "Oh, I almost forgot." I take a step back.

I look nervous again, but smile a tiny bit. It's as if I'm trying to convince myself you still mean something innocent. "What is it?"

"Well," you start. You take your phone out of your pocket. "It's just...I thought you should know that I could see into your bathroom the other day."

You show me the video of my shower and my eyes widen. I step back and stutter a little.

"Now dont worry, theres no need to be scared," you say. "Its just you ought to be more careful. It can be dangerous and I'm just letting you know so you can take better care in future." My eyes dart around the room. "What if this got out?"

Now I look terrified and I'm shaking my head. I flinch and whimper as you firmly touch my face and grasp my jaw. "You dont want it to get out, right?"

"N-n-no..."

"Of course not," you say, slipping your phone back into what space is left in your pocket after you've gotten hard. "Now...I'll keep it safe for you. I told you I'd look out for you didn't I? And to think of me as your daddy." You keep hold of my jaw with one hand and begin to u buckle your belt with the other. My eyes well up a little and I stutter something again.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm just going to ask you a favour, since I did you a favour." Your cock is fighting your underwear for freedom and I whisper, "please no..."

You pat your pocket where your phone is. "Then I'll have to post this on the internet. Do you want that? I could find your family. I could send it to your parents." I'm whimpering quietly. "So you're going to do what I tell you then?"

I weakly nod. "What was that?" you ask.

"...Yes."

"Good girl." You let go of my jaw. The second you do, I try to dart under your arm and towards the door, but you step in front of me. I look up at you and you shake your head at me. "Keep your promises."

I step back and stand still, and you let your cock spring free. I look scared as you begin to stroke your length and look me up and down.

"Take off that top, wont you? I wanna see your cute little tits again."

I seem to have resigned myself to doing as you ask. Eyes downcast, I awkwardly pull at it, then pull it up and over my head. Your breathing gets heavier as you see my exposed nipples, and before I can do anything with my top, you hold your hand out expectantly. I'm confused for a moment so you gesture at what I'm holding, and I reluctantly hand you my cami. You sniff it before throwing it on the bed behind me.

"Now your panties."

I bend over as little as possible and shyly remove my panties, my hair falling into my face. You hold your hand out again and this time I already know what to do. You hold it to your face and breathe deeply, then lick the patch that was just touching my pussy. You begin to leak precum as you touch yourself. You look at me standing with my head lowered, bangs in my eyes, crossing my knees under my little plaid skirt, trying to hide my nipples with my hair and hands. You lift my chin to look at my face, and tell me, "Sit on the bed."

You step forward and I instinctively step back, falling backwards onto the bed. I clutch at my skirt to keep it from showing anything as you kneel down in front of me, between my ankles. I move backwards, as far as I can to get away from you, but reach the wall and my collection of teddybears and plushies. You laugh a little and keep slowly jerking yourself.

"Now spread those legs sweetie."

For a moment I dont move.

"Or do I have to push them?"

I slowly move my feet to the side, keeping my knees together, still holding my skirt down with one hand and covering my chest with the other. You smirk at my embarrassment and look expectantly until I move my knees apart too. I push my skirt down over my pussy.

"Now lift up your skirt. Let me see."

A tear rolls down my face as I slowly and reluctantly clutch at my skirt, lifting it just high enough for you to see my bald pussy. You let out a low growl.

"Keep your legs like that," you tell me, smirking and using your precum to lube your cock. "Now daddy needs you to take your hand off your tits and use both hands to hold onto your skirt."

I uncover my nipples and clutch the hem of my skirt, instinctively pulling it a little lower.

"Pull it higher again. Now hold onto it tight and let me take a look."

I hold tighter and you bring a hand between my legs. I whimper and flinch as you touch my lips, spreading a drop of wetness as you run your finger slowly up and down.

"Legs wider." I whimper again and try to force myself to obey, spreading my legs more. It's just enough that my lips part and you can see just how pink I am. You unintentionally buck your hips up and into your hand as you keep stroking your huge cock, and gently touch my pussy and clit with your other hand. You look at me, scared and shaking. You poke one finger inside and listen to me gasp as you slowly rub the inside of my pussy. My legs snap closer again but you stop stroking yourself and hold my knee in place.

"You're very wet there," you say, leaning a little closer. "Keep still." You put in another finger and I let out a tiny sound, somewhere between a whimper and a moan. Your cock twitches with excitement and you lean over me to lick my tits, wet lines from the bottom of my tiny breast up to the nipple and down again, then the same on the other side. You can hear and feel me quivering with fear. You sit back again to look at me.

"Dont be scared, sweetie. You're gonna love it."

You take both my wrists in one hand, pin them above my head, spread my pussy open with your other hand and begin to slide your cock up and down over my lips and clit. You move down and push the tip of your cock into me. You moan and growl at how tight and wet and warm I am, moving a tiny bit. You use both hands to spread my legs apart and push your way in further as I make more of my little noises. You begin to slide in and out, slowly, making sure I feel every inch of every thrust as fully as possible. You feel me get wetter and hotter around your cock. I begin to try to cover myself with my hands again so you lift my ankles onto your shoulders and hold both my wrists either side of my head, looking down at me as you fuck me. My little tits bounce and I cant move at all, as you fuck me a little faster, a little harder, a little faster again. My noises are getting a little loud so you clamp your hand over my mouth. "Shhhhh...this is your favour for me, remember?" You keep going and after a while move your hand to my butt, holding me in place as you pound into me. I turn my head to the side and you bring your hand back up to hold my jaw and make me look you in the eye.

"I'm gonna cum," you say. "I'm gonna cum so hard all inside you, you're gonna be full up of me."

I close my eyes and you kiss me forcefully, pushing your tongue into my mouth and onto mine. The force of your kiss keeps my head in place, your hands hold my wrists in place, and the force of your thrusts and the sheer weight of you leaves no room for me to move at all. I have no choice but to feel you growl and moan into my mouth as you tighten your grip on me and empty your load inside me, ramming up into my pussy and making sure I take it all.

As you calm, you look at me and smile again at my embarrassment. "Good girl," you say right into my ear. You sit back and stretch your neck a little, your cock still inside me. You pull out and watch your cum pour out of me and onto the back of my skirt.

"Good girl," you say again. You stand up and look at me as you put your boxers, jeans and belt back into place like nothing happened. You look at the shelves you built for me earlier, then back at me.

"Let me know if you need any more help," you say. You take your phone out of your pocket. "If not, I'll come back to check on you some time soon."

#fun concept though

[mcrmadness]

unusual asks 18, 30, 56!

Ask Game: Unusual Asks

Thank you for sending asks! :)

18. favorite tv show?

Oh I have several! I usually name The X-Files as my favourite because I have been watching it since I was a little kid - tho back then I was mainly just traumatized by it rather than watching. I also remember how nervous I was when I started watching the rerun when I was a teenager but soon I got over that and now it's one of my favorite tv series!

The others are Dexter (the Showtime's series about the serial killer Dexter Morgan), which I also started watching when I was 15 and the first season started in Finland. That was also the first time ever I saw some sort of asexual/aromantic rep on tv and I was confused because I related to that so much but I was wondering if I was a psychopath for being sex-repulsed and not finding romantic stuff interesting at all. (For the context: I was 17 when I saw the word 'asexuality' for the first time ever and understood that I had nothing broken in my brain.) Anyway, Dexter's 1st season is the best season of them all, and we have rewatched the whole series with my mom several times and I am interested in knowing how the new season will be!

Life on Mars UK is also a big fave - I noticed you reblogging a post about it too and it's so damn good! I have watched it several times and it's so underappreciated and there's hardly ever anything on my dash, which is a crime itself already!

And last but not least: Gotham. Holy shit I just love this series so much! I was very skeptic at first but now I just love it, they've done so incredible job with the casting and most of the actors do amazing job as their characters and every time I watch it, I just can't comprehend how good it is! :D

(Oh and I also have to mention Monty Python's Flying Circus as one of my favorites. No further explanations needed.)

***

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

This question I already had and I said that I don't use candles ever because I'm afraid of fire, and most scented candles have this very strong scent that smells like an essence and they just smell so unnatural and bad that they just give me migraine way too easily. But vanilla is often so mild and soft smell that I can stand that.

***

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Hmm. I feel like this ask post was written by someone from the US or other place like that that has these very large rural areas where basically nothing lives. In Finland "rural area" usually just is in the middle of a forest somewhere and that's how Finns love to live anyway XD

Anyway, I'd love to live in a countryside or either somewhere where I don't have neighbours living 5 meters from me. Btw in Finland countryside usually means surrounded by forests and some fields, somewhere where it takes at least 5-10 minutes by car and to where public transport usually doesn't go to. I'd be very happy living like that, tbh. Especially if I had a yard with space for animals like maybe horses.

I don't know if I'd be happy living right in the middle of a city, I've lived my whole life in areas that are like... not in the centre. I guess the word is suburb actually that I'm looking for. Also right now I live in a small apartment building and even this sometimes gets on my nerves and I just wish I had my own house instead, so that I could go out and not stumble upon neighbours or anything like that. So basically I could also do a house in suburbs if I had enough room in the yard around the house, and definitely some forest there to kinda hide the house a bit.

#gwynhwyfar #ask games

[borisbubbles]

16. SERBIA

Balkanika - “Nova Deca” 19th place

Out of all the positive morphs I experienced this year, Serbia was the one that I suspected the least. I never hated them the way others did, but eh, I didn’t think highly of them either. Especially when the backstage clips showed them enterting the stage dressed up like members of some inauspicious fertility cult. “Oh.” I thought. “Another Genealogy. Except it won’t make the final. Whatever, NEXT”

How wrong I was though, because it did qualify and caused me to re-evaluate all I knew about life and come to the fucking conclusion that... this is really fucking good??? HOW is an exaggerated mess that has accurately been described as “Balkan Megamix Volume 3″ this great? 

I actually don’t have a clear answer for this as i’m writing this down (we haven’t reached the songs I would spam the replay button on yet), but the core of it is that Balkanika tried REALLY hard to condense 900+ years worth of Balkanic musical tradition in a mere three minutes and fucking pulled it off by... striking battle poses like some Ethno-Power Rangers

GO GO BALKAN RANGERS!!!

The choreography as a whole is just so extra and beautifully overacted. The entire way through, the members of Balkanika strike poses as if in Madonna’s “Vogue”, guided on by the beguiling tunes conjured by Ljubomir’s magic whistle-wand [ed.: here’s the best gif i could make of Old Rasflutin’s background flailing, but it’s way funnier if you pay attention to his presence as you watch “Nova Deca” unfold, so SCROLL UP AND REWATCH RIGHT NAO!!!]:   

Such a beautiful presence we’re not worthy of, y’all. All while the rest of Balkanika are either serving some epic 90 Percussion realness:

or chanelling some Project: Waters of Life sillyness

This could have so easily turned into a San Marinese goopy mess (which I don’t think too highly of, as you know), and briefly it looked like this would be the case; Instead, we found something better.

The plain answer however, lies in that Balkanika didn’t try to be funny and that makes a massive difference. Every piece of overacting, from Mladen’s creepy stares to Ra-Ra-Rasflutin (Serbia’s greatest love machine) prodding the action on from the background, is the product of intense belief and dedication, which... makes it hysterical, but in an endearing sort of way. Balkanika really just can’t help themselves. <3 

However, as I have to take things into account other than just act, I can’t really drag Balkanika much higher than this. Their song, while cool in concept, is kinda a bit too overloaded with quirks, which are largely lost to me because you know, show-stopping staging. (lol I just realized this is such a reverse “O jardim”, how neat they will now be forever ranked next to one another in this ranking). “Nova Deca” also suffers from the fact that I already had a large slew of other faves before I started to love them. As a whole, I think they have the least to offer of those left in the ranking. Oh well, at least we’ll forever have this: 

<3

RANKING SO FAR:

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - ��Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES (optional)

1) I decided not to credit Sanja Ilic simply because he wasn’t on the stage and I feel it’s kinda unfair to credit him just based on his merit as a composer, while Isaura composed AND performed second fiddle to Cláudia, without a letter of on-screen credit. 

2) Re: Intentional vs Unintentional humour: The reason why intentional humour rarely works for me is that it comes with the built-in pressure to laugh, which... makes me less inclined to find something funny because it kinda takes away the choice element of it. Like, I think I have a fairly okay sense of humour, I can decide for myself what I find funny, you know? This is why intentional humour rarely works for me, while unintentional humour nearly always does. For reference, dial back to where I ranked Israel and Norway and Czechia and San Marino (or “Yodel it” and “Space” from last year), all acts that piggybacked on scripted humour

3) DoReDos are one of the few instances this year where intentional humour totally worked for me, although I also realize they’ve largely been hit-or-miss. But we won’t be discussing that soon.

4) Me being a history nerd, I also think the idea of “weaving a song out of literally every Serbian musical quirk ever” is a really cool song concept. It really comes close to an earnest, Balkanic version of “Swedish Smörgåsbord”  <3 5) “Nova Deca” is a way more accurate representation of what actual balkan music sounds like (as opposed to the tiresome, tedious, boring Balkan Ballad). The Folk music channels in Bulgaria, for instance play “Nova Deca”-esque songs all day.   6) A funny argument between my mom and I occured during this song. My mom, who is Bulgarian, argued that Balkanika plagiarized their song from Bulgarian Polyphonic Singing. When I pointed out the song was based on the Byzantine musical traditions, she claimed that the Byzantines stole them from the Bulgarians, which is historically implausible (see note 8). This is one of many reasons I think little of ethnocentrism and nationalism, especially from the Slavs and Greeks. Everyone accuses one another of cultural appropriation (see again: Macedoniagate), when in fact, their geographical proximity exposed them to similar cultural ideas and their geopolitics (warmongering) turned it into a mutually unintelligible wash. 

7) Besides, the entire point of the Balkans is that they support each other due to their cultural similarities in spite of wishing horrific, painful deaths on one another.  <3

8) HISTORY LESSONS WITH BORIS #1: Polyphonic Singing.  Polyphonic singing evolved as a Byzantine response to Roman Catholic liturgical chanting (instituted by Charlemagne, who as Holy Roman Emperor, took measures in making the religion more accessible to the common folk. How do we make the Bible popular? By teaching rich people how to read! What a genius. <3 ). Thus, polyphony spread as Byzantine Christianity spread, which would later become Eastern Orthodoxy after the East-West Schism in the 11th century AD. (hence why polyphony is such a big cultural benchmark all Eastern Orthodox nations, including Russia and Georgia, but not Armenia until their annexation by the Russian Empire in the 19th Century AD (since Armenian Christianity is a cadet branch of Oriental Orthodoxy, which split from Catholicism in the 4th century AD).  Anyway, Bulgaria historically played a massive role in spreading Christianity and its liturgical chanting to their pagan Balkan neighbours, after the Bulgarian Knyaz (a fancy way of saying “Khan”) Boris I converted under the pressure of Byzantine Emperor Michael III. Boris (whom, as you might have guessed, I was named after) used Christianity to pacify the squabbling lords of his realm (which included both pagans and Catholics) and oversaw the creation of the Glagolitic (liturgical) and Cyrrilic scripts to speed up the spread, paving the way for Bulgaria’s Golden Age under his son Simeon. During that Golden Age, btw, much of what is now Serbia came under Bulgarian control, including Belgrade.  So while the Serbs probably did learn polyphony from the Bulgarians, the Bulgarians absolutely, totally, learned it from the Byzantines, who invented the damn’ thing, in their own spin on Charlemagne’s popular church choirs. Mum, you’re WRONG. O:-)

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Serbia #Balkanika #Sanja Ilic #Nova Deca

[eggsinsunnyside]

See Me Now

I’m dumping this here because Archive of our own is bugging for me and i’m an impatient butt. 

On Monday, Tom took Edd out to the arcade.

A simple hangout, nothing more but apparently the people around him thought otherwise judging from the whispering behind his back. He didn’t know what exactly did they say but he could care less, it wasn’t like they impacted him in any ways.

“Just ignore them, Tom.” Edd said to him when he saw the brit grimacing at a couple looking at him funny. “Let’s just play a game of shooters, yeah?”

“Sure, your pick Edd.” Tom numbly nodded, easily tearing his gaze away from the rude couple and followed his friend to another arcade machine. They had gotten far enough to reach into the top highscore board, though unfortunately not enough to be number one but the experience had been fun. The whisperings never stopped though, Tom would always glance over his shoulder in irritation as people kept muttering about the duo under their breath.

Hadn’t they been told that talking behind people’s back was an asshole move?

--- Zdnh xs Wrp ---

On Tuesday, Ringo came.

Tom had been woken up by loud meowls that could’ve woken up the dead and found the grey kitten patiently waiting outside his door.

“What are you doing here?” He frowned at the feline and glanced at Edd’s door. His brows rose more when he noticed Ringo’s bowl had been moved up to Matt’s door, and was very much empty. He grabbed a can of tuna from his fridge and dumped its content into Ringo’s bowl. “You’d think Edd would remember to feed you.”

If cats could give people weird looks, then Ringo was certainly giving him one for a moment. Tom ignored it, what significance does a cat giving weird looks at you even bring?

“You forgot to feed your cat.” Tom told his best friend when Edd came to hang out again, “She was practically scratching up my door just to get some tuna.”

“She was?” Edd frowned and glanced at Ringo who was curled up comfortably on Tom’s couch. “I left food for her though.”

The brit recalled the bowl being pushed back at Matt’s door. “You think maybe Matt might’ve tried eating cat food?”

“Nah, he’s not that mindless.” Edd shook his head, “Thanks for feeding Ringo though.”

“Eh, it was nothing. Either I fed her or she’d keep scratching the door and I don’t really want to talk to the landlord about property damage again.” Tom shrugged though there was a hint of a smile on his face.

--- Wklv lvq’w d wulfn ----

On Wednesday, Edd and Jon stopped by his apartment to rewatch the Vampire Pirate Zombie Nazi’s From Hell Part 2, the disc brought by the courtesy of Jon.

Tom had been genuinely surprised when the latter had come over, Edd rarely talked to their ex-neighbours and when he did, it often escalated into some kind of cola vs diet cola argument between him and Eduardo. He’s not really sure why or how Edd got Jon to come over but he didn’t argue. He hasn’t seen the sequel to the Vampire Pirate Zombie Nazi’s From Hell Part 1 yet.

“I’m telling you that the sequel is going to be amazing.” Edd rambled to Tom with a wide smile on his face.

“It’s definitely easier to understand too.” Jon nodded, popping a popcorn in his mouth, “I mean, I know Eduardo was happy about having a nuclear powered satellite that catches tv shows from aliens, but it’s hard to get interested in a show that’s alien dubbed with no way of understanding it.” He paused and furrowed his brows, “Actually I don’t really know why he had the satellite nuclear powered.”

“Eh, he just wanted to show off.” Edd shrugged, shovelling a handful of popcorn in his mouth, “Besides, having superpowers for the day was fun though. Just wished I could’ve kept them.”

“Honestly Edd, if you kept superpowers you would’ve raided all the cola factories and drive the world into poverty just to sate your addiction to cola.” Tom admitted with a chuckle, flicking his flask open and taking a sip.

“It’s not an addiction.” Edd grumbled, throwing popcorn at Tom and cackled in glee when one got into his socket, inciting a panicked cry from the brit. Even Jon joined in laughing at Tom’s misery as the male did his best to get the rogue popcorn out.

“You asshole.” Tom eventually managed to retrieve the popcorn and flicked it back at Edd. “Those burns, you know?”

“They weren’t even hot.” Jon pointed out. He was answered with a flick and a shush. When the movie is over, Edd and Jon take their leave and Tom is left by his lonesome again. He idly notes that Jon forgot his DVD. Eh, he’ll go return it tomorrow.

--- Ph dqg Mrq ---

On Thursday, Tom went to the neighbors to return Jon’s disc.

“They don’t actually live that far away. They actually live in the same apartment complex we’re in.” Edd said to him when the eyeless brit asked him about Jon’s new home with Eduardo and Mark. “Just be careful though. Eduardo seems… less happy.” The brunette adds in with a concerned frown.

“It’s not like he’s not like that anyway.” Tom scoffed. Technically he wasn’t wrong. Eduardo was always a moody man. He just underestimated how furious the man was.

Tom smiled just a little when a familiar ringtone played when he pressed the doorbell and quickly pushed it away when Eduardo’s frown greeted him.

“What do you want?” Eduardo demanded with a testy tone. “And if you don’t spit it out in five seconds, I’ll slam the door in your face.”

Tom promptly held up the DVD case to Eduardo’s face. “Here, Jon left this behind yesterday. Figured he’d want it back.”

The case is snatched out of his grip almost immediately, inciting a surprised “Hey!” and Eduardo staring down at the case with a mixed expression.

Eduardo snaps his head up to Tom’s face, looking down at him with a suspicious glare, “Where did you get this? Did you break into our apartment?”

“What- No.” Tom quickly defended, folding his arms. “I told you already, didn’t I? Jon brought it over yesterday and I came to give it back.”

Next thing he knows, Eduardo slugs him across the face and sends him crashing to the floor. The brit barely registers someone yanking on the neck of his hoodie and bringing him close up to Eduardo’s enraged face, until he finally does notice.

“Is this some sick prank you’re trying to pull, huh?” Eduardo growled, his voice dropping down to a low and dangerous tone. “Or are you trying to break us even more?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about..!” Tom replied with a pained hiss, grabbing Eduardo’s arm and shoving the male off him with some effort. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

Instead of replying, Eduardo slams the door shut in front of Tom and left the confused brit to his own thoughts.

“Rude.”

--- Zh’uh erwk vwloo khuh ---

On Friday, Matt knocked on his door.

The ginger looked rather messy, disheveled hair and dry eyed - the picture of a total mess.

“Uh Matt, are you alright?” Tom asked, wide eyed at the ginger’s appearance. “You look like a mess.”

“I- Um, yeah. I’m alright, for now.” Matt nodded, his voice lacking the usual optimism which sent red flags to Tom’s head. “I just finished arranging everything, you know.”

“Arranging what?” Tom repeated with increasing confusion and rubbed his temples. “Matt, if this is another nightmare about the giant burrito monster, go to Edd about it. He actually knows how to comfort you.”

Instead of a pleased expression, Matt’s face gradually became fearful as he stared at Tom with a strange look. “... Tom? Are you okay?”

“Um, I’m fine?” Tom furrowed his brows. “What’ve you been arranging?”

The ginger flinches from Tom, causing more confusion from the brit. “I thought you knew about this.”

“Care about what? You’re making no sense, Matt. Just tell me what’s this about already.” When Matt doesn’t meet his eyes, the brit started to feel irritated and narrowed his sockets at Matt. “Matt. What’s going on?”

“Tom, Edd’s funeral is tomorrow.”

--- Qr rqh zdv oblqj ---

On Friday, Tom attends Edd’s funeral.

There were a lot of people there, familiar faces mixed in the sea of black and grey clothes with each looking so solemn. Tom’s not surprised that there’s so many people, Edd was always a people person who connected them all. Except for one, but that One was nowhere to be seen.

Matt’s standing on the podium, reading out a speech Tom could not hear. Or perhaps he couldn’t because he wouldn’t listen to a word. It was all mumbo jumbo to his ears and he was content with that. His only focus was the coffin that was behind Matt, containing the body of his best friend that he thought was alive all this time.

“I’m sorry.” Edd’s voice whispered to his ear.

“When were you going to tell me?” Tom muttered quietly, not bothering to break his gaze on the coffin.

Edd doesn’t answer him, and Tom can’t bring it in himself to yell at the voice for answer. Besides, voices in your head don’t just tell you when they’re fake.

“It makes so much more sense now.” The brit whispered to himself as he watches Matt stepping down from the podium. All eyes are on the coffin now, watching the lid shut tight to hide the body inside and lowering it down to the earth. His eyes flickered over to the gravestone beside Edd’s and he almost flinches at the name inscribed on it.

May Edd and Jon rest in peace.

--- L’p vwloo khuh zlwk brx ---

On Saturday, Edd comes back.

Apparently Tom’s mind hadn’t had enough fun getting a kick out of him.

“Tom-”

“Go away.” Tom growled, a bottle of Smirnoff in his hand.

“Tom this isn’t healthy.”

“Hearing you in my head isn’t healthy either, so this is really just fixing the problem.” The brit can hear the sigh from Edd.

“I’m not fake Tom.” Definitely-Fake-Edd insisted, walking up to in front of Tom’s face and gesturing at himself. “Look, I’m standing here and all! I’m not some disembodied voice you get in your head.”

“You’re right,” Tom agreed, which brings a smile to Definitely-Fake-Edd, “I’m actually hallucinating you instead.”

The smile dies instantly and Edd’s back to begging for Tom to talk to him. “Tom please- I’m real, I’m here. I’m not fake.”

“That’s what the hundred disembodied voices in my head says.” The brit snarled, glaring at Definitely-Fake-Edd. “Just leave me alone already. I don’t need another person to hallucinate about.”

--- L zdv dozdbv uhdo ---

It’s… He doesn’t know what day it is by now. He’s drunk so much that the world is spinning and blurring together, and he’s pretty sure his rent is due soon but he has no money to pay for it.

Matt’s been knocking on his door, checking up on him when Edd isn’t around.

Oh wait, technically he isn’t. It’s the imaginary voice (and hallucination) that claims to be Edd that’s hanging around him. He should call that Fake Edd. Yes, that sounded appropriate.

“You promised not to drink excessively.”

Tom blankly blinked in brief confusion, tilting his head up to see Ed- Fake Edd looking down at him with a disapproving frown. “I promised Edd that. Not you, Fake Edd.”

“Are you still doing this?” Fake Edd groaned, annoyance on his face.

“I thought I told you to go away last time.” Tom retorted irritatedly. And he did, he clearly remembers telling Fake Edd to go away so many times. Not once had the hallucination obeyed. Neither did Edd when he was alive.

He wishes Fake Edd would hurry up and leave him alone already.

--- L zrq’w ohdyh brx ---

It’s twelve in the afternoon when Tom finds himself heaving over the toilet bowels.

Vomit drips past his lips and doesn’t spare him any mercy as more continues to flood his throat, and Tom struggles not to drown in his own puke. Fake Edd is standing behind him, rubbing his back so reassuringly and Tom could swear that he could feel the brunette’s hand on his hoodie.

“Just let it all out.” Edd said to him as his hand draws circles on the brit’s back.

Tom just continues to puke out his inside.

--- L zrq’w xqwlo ---

It’s Thursday when Matt takes Tom to see a therapist.

The therapist was a somewhat familiar face, Doctor Names. Not officially a therapist but he knew Tom well enough to be one, sort of. Honestly, Tom doesn’t really know the laws regarding therapists and their jobs but he’ll take Names over any other strangers.

“So Tom,” Names looked up at him from his clipboard, “Matt said that you’ve been talking to yourself. Could you fill me in your side of the issue?”

Tom leans back on the chair he’s sitting on, letting his head rest against the corner of the backseat. “I keep seeing Edd. He won’t leave me alone.” He lets the noise of pen scribbling on paper fill the air for a while until he continues speaking, “I know this Edd’s fake. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I know Edd is…” A gulp. “Gone.”

“So you know the voice is false, but it continues to exist?” Names asked, tapping his pen on his clipboard.

“Yeah,” Tom nodded slowly, “Been telling it to go away for so long.”

“Is the voice talking to you now at the moment?” Tom sat in silence for ten seconds before shaking his head, “Alright, last question for today. Do you remember when this started happening?”

Tom opens his mouth to answer briefly before realisation dawned on him.

When DID it actually start?

--- Brx duh rndb ---

It’s Tuesday and Fake Edd still lived in his head.

He’s been prescribed with medicine that he personally thought didn’t have any actual effect. Probably a placebo medicine, he bitterly thought. He took them anyway though, to keep people’s concerns off from him and to also maybe believe in that wishful hope that the Fake Edd would disappear.

“You ever thought about not drinking for at least two days?” Fake Edd asked from the other side of his couch.

No. The thought never occurred to him ever and he would never consider it either. He flips the bird at Fake Edd and drinks his consciousness away again.

--- Brx duh vdih ---

Sunday swings by and Tom wakes up in a cell.

It looks like one of those prison cells, dark, dingy and overall shitty. There’s chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles, shackling him to the wall furthest from the door. Ordinarily, he’d be busting his ass out of this cell already but currently his entire body felt like lead and would definitely not move for a while.

Occasionally he’d spy a couple of people walk past his cell, whispering to each other but nothing he could make out. At the back of his head, there’s a thought screaming about the red and blue uniform the passersby wear but he could honestly not care at all.

Fake Edd is sitting beside him, a concerned frown on his face. “I tried to stop them.”

‘Stop who?’ is the question that hangs at the tip of Tom’s tongue but never quite comes out.

Fake Edd had probably read his mind because he was already answering Tom, “The people who took you here. I don’t know them though.”

If Fake Edd didn’t know them, then Tom probably wouldn’t then either. A hallucination couldn’t’ know what the hallucinator didn’t know, after all.

--- L dp brxu ehvw iulhqg ---

It’s a few days later that Tom finally finds a face he recognises.

Tord in all his glory stands before the brit behind the cell’s bars, one grey eye staring down at him with a raised brow. “I had assumed Matt was exaggerating when he said you were going crazy.”

“Depends on the level of crazy he was talking about.” Tom idly commented, tearing his gaze from Fake Edd who had not once left him alone.

“You’ve been talking to ‘Edd’.” Tord scoffs at Tom’s surprised look that comes after. “Please, do you think I would leave you under no surveillanced? After going through the trouble of capturing you?”

Ah. That’s how they get here then. Wait- No, just him. Just Tom.

“Back to the point, I thought you’d be stronger than this Thomas.” Tord commented with a snide tone. “Was all it took to break you was his death?” Tom doesn’t answer him. “Well, do not think that I’ll be treating you any special just because you’re the one who had a lucky shot at me.”

“A lucky shot that managed to cripple half of you.” Tom pointed out passively, his eyes sliding shut as he recalled the harpoon he fired on that day.

“Yes, and I had hoped to return the favour.” Tord replied curtly and tsked, “Obviously I was already late to the crippling part.”

“I can still kick your ass.”

“In your dreams.”

Tom stops speaking after that and eventually Tord leaves him alone.

--- Brx zrq’w eh dorqh ---

Tom starts speaking to Fake Edd again which makes the brunette ecstatic. The boredom is killing him and he starts wondering about who is feeding Ringo back at home. Maybe Matt is, but knowing the ginger’s airheadedness, he was probably eating the cat’s food instead.

Maybe he should ask Tord to check up on the grey kitten.

--- Wkh fdw’v hbh fdq’w vhh ---

Tom wakes up with a weight on his face.

“What’s this?” He mumbled out, reaching up to his face with his hand and felt a metal rectangular object resting stiffly on his eyes. Further inspection told him that it was covering his entire upper face - his eyes specifically - and strapped around his head. A visor perhaps?

“Your new solution.” Tord’s voice breaks through his sleepiness. “Have fun being alone again.”

Tom looks around in his cell and for the first time since he’s been captured, he doesn’t see Fake Edd anywhere in sight. The corner of his lips curl up into a small smile but there’s an ache in his chest that he couldn’t quite identify.

Tom brushes it off and decides to savour his first day of silence.

--- Exw ghprq hbhv fdq ---

He hates it.

The silence is crippling and Tom crying out, trying to claw the visor off his head.

He had been wrong to ignore the ache. It had gotten so much more bigger, more harmful and so much more noticeable. People stopped walking past his cell to ignore the howling screams he was making and occasionally the guards would come to yell at him to shut up.

He can’t though, he’s never been alone even when he thought he was and now there’s no Edd to talk to him, comfort him and just interact with. There’s Tom and only Tom in that dark, dingy cell with no one to talk to or to even think about except for Edd.

He misses Edd so much.

--- Wrp L’p khuh ---

It’s a week later that Tord revisits Tom.

“Are you done throwing a tantrum?” Tord asked. The man had finally come down to his cell when there were reports of Tom’s silence. No sobs, no sniffling and not even a whine. Just pure silence that would indicate either Tom finally coming to terms with his solution or that he escaped. He could definitely rule out the latter since he was standing right in front of the brit.

“I want this off.” Tom plainly states, green pixel eyes staring at the Norwegian.

“That would be setting you back then.” Tord frowned.

“Don’t care. I want this off now.” Tom repeated with a tone of finality.

“I don’t think you’re in the place to demand things. You forget who’s the leader here.” Tord said, his voice shifting to a warning one. “Besides, I have plans for you and letting you go back to talking to a ghost is not one of them.”

Tom grimaces and the two don’t exchange words again for the remainder of the day.

He still misses Edd.

--- Wrp ---

On Monday, Tom stopped asking Tord to take his goggles off.

--- Wlph’v ---

On Wednesday, Tom asked Tord to fix his goggles so it’d stop glitching.

--- Xs ---

On Friday, Tom doesn’t bring up Edd anymore.

--- Jrrgebh ---

On Sunday, Tom hesitantly removed his goggles and looks out of his cell with his own eyes.

He doesn’t see Edd anywhere.

#eddsworld #ew tom #ew edd #ew matt #ew tord #sloth writes shit #spare your eyes #this thing originally had a proper idea but then i word vomited