#i usually hate the third party interloper | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

illfoandillfie · 3 years

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.......don’t be shy........ show us the comment 👀👀

lmao i will show you but only because i’ve already responded to it. I don’t want anyone to be mean to the commenter or make their own responses or anything like that. I’ve got no problems with people critiquing my work or offering suggestions on how to improve and she was very polite about it. It’s just that I didn’t agree with some of what she said lmao

okay so this comment was left on the prequel to Interloper (Snapshots From Before)

I usually don’t comment a lot in here (tho i do give lots of kudos) and the first part of this was so awesome that i’ve read it many times! However, this second part felt kinda... sexist? I think you gave this the wrong approach and ended up with the boys being a little mysoginistic, specially Roger telling y/n “if you are that hungry for dick you can ride me” (i’m not actually quoting the exact line but it was like that). I would’ve love to see at least one scene where you show some after care and the boys actually caring about y/n so we could see that their relationship is a healthy one. Without this, it just seems like she’s bassically a human sex toy. I get it, it’s the whole “she’s just holes to fill” and that’s great, i respect people who are into that, but even then there has to be some caring and empathy from both parties. Also, orgasm denial is hot but regardless, having sex has to be rewarding for both participants and Roger just sorta fucked her and asked her to leave? In a very non polite way? Sex is about both parties reaching to climax and equality for both lmao.😅 I know it’s a one shot but i would’ve like to see the non sexual part of y/n’s relationship with the boys other than post coital conversations. Again, i loved the first and third part, i think you have so much writing potencial within you and you should embrace it. These are all constructive critics and i do not wish to make you feel bad or offend you. I actually enjoy the whole mecanics of these raw, awesome, hot, sexy sex scenes but even though its fiction (which i know) and this whole slut kink is actually something people like let’s not forget to narrate healthy, caring relationships. Again, this seems like some eassay for a thesis but im just expressing MY point of view and i do not intend harm towards you as a writer or someone else as a reader. And yes, probably i need to “chill the F out” cause it’s just an ao3 bloody fic but still. Expressing an opinion that can help the writer improve is good! I think. Better than spreading hate. Hope you can see this note as friendly and respectul advice. Thank you so much for writing this. Have a great day! Stay safe xxx

and this was my response

Hi! Thanks for taking the time to comment, it really means a lot!

I will definitely keep in mind some of your criticisms as I continue writing, however there are a couple of places where our opinions differ, so I’d like to offer an explanation or two as to why I wrote it the way I did.

Firstly, I have to disagree with your statement that sex is about both parties reaching climax. It’s not. Not always anyway. Taking aside any kink related aspects like orgasm denial, sometimes sex just isn’t about finishing. It can be super rewarding and fun even without the orgasm. So much of an orgasm is related to a person’s mental state that little things like their mood or stress level or if they feel pressure to cum can have a huge impact on how easy it is to orgasm. And women especially can have trouble reaching climax. For some people, mostly women though it can affect men too, the sexual disorder anorgasmia makes orgasm physically impossible no matter how much stimulation they receive. So to say sex is about everyone getting to that end point isn’t totally correct. A lot of the time it’s less about the orgasm and more about feeling good during the rest of the act and/or strengthening a connection with a partner. Expecting everyone to orgasm every time is unrealistic and can in fact make it harder. Of course, that’s ignoring people who enjoy the kink side of it, intentionally stopping orgasms. A lot of people take tease and denial beyond just the length of a single sexual encounter, instead stretching it to days or weeks or months or even years of not being able to cum (fully).

Now, in regards to the fic itself. This chapter came about because I’d asked people to request concepts theyd like to see me write as a blurb or short one shot. I neglected to include the actual request in the summary or author note but the request was for a smutty prequel to interloper flashing back to when Reader was a groupie. At the time of writing I had a lot of requests I was trying to get done within a short amount of time so I was trying to keep things as brief as I could while still giving an entire story. The non-sexual aspects of the relationships didn’t feel important to include in this chapter because that wasn’t what was asked for. On top of that, the entire concept of the story hangs on how the sexual relationship dynamics change when the non-sexual relationship dynamics change and I wanted to make sure that wasn’t affected by the prequel. My goal was to establish a connection between the reader character and each of the guys and to make it feel as if there was history there, so I focused on flirty banter that led into sex scenes. And then, at the end of each scene, implied more would happen between the characters “off page”. I added in the Freddie section at the end as a way to solidify this chapter as a prequel and give a little explanation for how the main part starts (of course, at that time there was no third chapter). Plus, as Freddie doesn’t have a sexual relationship with Reader, his non-sexual relationship with her is very different to her relationships with the others, much closer to a friendship. (Which of course paves the way for how he’s on better terms with her at the beginning of the first chapter.)

One thing you imply in your comment is that as an author I should be writing healthy, caring relationships. I love writing those sorts of stories and relationships but I don’t believe I /have/ to write just healthy, caring relationships. I have a total of 38 fics posted on AO3 and I think most of them deal with “healthy” relationships. I make it a point to write aftercare scenes and to establish trust and safe words between my characters in most of my smut writing. And even if I’m exploring heavier kinks like extreme bdsm or hypnosis and bimbofication I do my best to stick to the rules of “safe, sane and consensual”. But, it is not my job as a writer to create morally perfect or role model relationships. I am well within my rights to explore relationships that don’t adhere to what is traditionally considered healthy, be that through ignoring safe words or foregoing aftercare or just having two characters be manipulative and mean to each other. If you want aftercare and “healthy” I have 37 other fics for you to look at. But this chapter doesn’t have to be that for it to be publishable.

And finally, I feel I have to defend Roger a little bit. I can definitely see how he could be read as sexist and I think part of the problem was just me trying to keep it short which meant I didn’t give enough space for Reader’s reactions or enough descriptions of emotion. But to me, as I was writing it, nothing Roger said was intended to be misogynistic or rude. I was playing around with one of my personal favourite kinks, degradation in conjunction with the orgasm denial (another favourite lmao). Everything he said was specifically to humiliate and degrade her, just because that’s what I find hot. Calling her desperate, telling her she sounds pretty begging, talking down to her, implying he’d /use/ her again later, all of that is part of the degradation kink and I intended for it to be a form of dirty talk. Similarly, the part where he says she can leave wasn’t meant to come across as rude. He calls her a good girl and brushes her hair back from her face first (a softer moment, contrasting everything else that happens between them) and then says she can leave, which plays into the denial kink and the idea that it could last longer than the time they were in bed together. Personally, I’m very very into extended denial, especially if it’s treated as a threat of punishment or something like that, and that was the inspiration behind Roger’s section of this chapter.

Thank you again for the comment, it really did make me think about how I’d written this particular chapter and my intentions behind it. And I fully agree that comments like yours can help writers improve! I’ll definitely keep in mind what you’ve said as I work on my next fic and hopefully avoid some of the unintended sexist overtones in future. Have a great day!

#lowkey feel kinda weird posting this here #but i know some of you would be curious enough to go looking for the original comment #and i really don't want it to go any further #which is also why i didn't screenshot the comment with her username or anything like that #constructive criticism is good and helpful #and i know there are things in my writing that could be commented on #and i don't want to discourage her from leaving comments in the future (be they criticism or praise)#i just thought she missed the point on a couple of aspects of his fic #Anonymous

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onceuponanolicity · 7 years

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As the school year begins, Felicity and Oliver must learn how to adjust to sharing a lunch all by themselves while the rest of their group is together the period afterwards.

Chapter after the cut.

“What classes do you have this year?” Sara asked Felicity two weeks later as they walked down the hallway of the high school.

“Advanced Chemistry with Lab afterwards. Computer Science 310 --”

“Isn’t that a senior class?” Sara interrupted.

“Yeah.” Felicity shrugged. “Next is lunch. I finish the day with Calculus, Gym, U.S. History and English.”

Sara got excited. “I have English last period, too. Who do you have?”

“McMurphy,” Felicity told her as she glanced down at her class list.

“Yay! We’re in the same class. That’ll be fun.” Sara took a look at her own sheet. “But I don’t have lunch until fifth period. That sucks. I’ll be right after you.”

“Hey, girls.” Tommy threw his arms around their shoulders as he joined them. “How’s my harem?”

“Whatever.” Sara shook him off. “What lunch period do you have?”

“Fifth.”

Sara clapped. “Great. We have lunch together again.”

“What about you?” Tommy asked Felicity, pushing his way between the two girls since Felicity hadn’t shrugged him off.

“Fourth.” Felicity tried not to sound disappointed but now that she knew both of her friends shared the same lunch without her, she was. Looked like she’d be sitting alone this year since even Michael had lunch sixth period.

“Same as Ollie,” Tommy remarked. “And let me tell you, Laurel’s pissed because she’s fifth like Sara and I. She can’t manage to switch her classes so they can have lunch together. The first time since fourth grade.” Tommy nudged Felicity. “Guess you’ll have to keep him company.”

“I’m sure now that he’s a senior, he’ll have someone else to sit with,” Felicity told him. “What with Laurel not being there, I’m sure every girl in the lunchroom will be trying to get his attention.”

“While that is true, Ollie could not care any less. But I’ll talk to him and tell him that at least you share the same lunch period.”

Felicity pulled Tommy to a stop and grabbed his arm. Hard. “Don’t you dare.”

“Why not?” Sara asked. “It’s the perfect solution. You can keep the girls from hanging all over him and he can keep you company.” Sara studied Felicity. She saw it from the corner of her eye while she still stared down Tommy. “Are you still mad at him because of last year? I mean I can’t blame you if you are.”

“Just promise me you won’t tell him, Tommy,” Felicity pleaded. She couldn’t deal with the embarrassment in thinking that Oliver would sit with her out of pity.

Tommy’s eyes searched hers but he eventually nodded. “Okay. I won’t.” He ruffled her long brown hair. “Be good, kiddo. I gotta run. Literally. I have gym.”

“I have to go, too,” Sara told her after Tommy took off. “I have History on the third floor. If I don’t catch up with you, I’ll see you eighth period.”

“Okay.” Felicity watched her friend leave and hugged her notebook close. “Okay. Sophomore year here I come.”

Felicity headed down the long hallway to where her science class was located. Mentally she crossed her fingers that this school year would go a lot better than the last one ended.

OQFSOQFSOQFS

“You see Sara?” Tommy huffed as he and Oliver sat doing sit ups in gym class.

“Not yet. You?” Oliver asked from next to him.

“Ran into her… and Felicity… on my way… to class,” Tommy told him in spurts as he exhaled.

Oliver stopped his own sit ups and stared at his friend, earning him a glare from the gym teacher. Laying down and starting again, Oliver asked the first question that came to mind. “When do they have lunch this year?”

“Sara, Laurel and I share fifth.”

“And Felicity?” Oliver tried to sound casual, or at least as casual as Tommy. It was then that Oliver noticed that his friend sped up on his exercise while trying to avoid the question. “Tommy, when does Felicity have lunch?”

“Don’t know,” Tommy said too quickly for Oliver’s liking.

“Even out of breath, I can tell you’re lying.” Oliver shot his best friend an evil glare out of the side of his eye.

Tommy somehow managed to shrug. “She told me not to tell you.”

Why not? What the hell? Oliver thought he had cleared the air between him and Felicity at the beach party. But then she did have her mom answer the door and tell him Felicity couldn’t come when he and Thea showed up to take her to the mall. Ms. Smoak, Donna, had assured him that Felicity was fine, just a little sick and couldn’t go. Oliver had wondered the whole afternoon if it had been a stall tactic to avoid him. Now, he really wanted to know if Felicity was avoiding him. “So, she’s in fourth, then?”

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Tommy said with a wink.

“Right.” Felicity was avoiding him then. Damn it, he thought he had cleared the air with her, apparently he had to work harder.

“She’s afraid that you won’t want to really sit with her. That it would be a pity action because you’re friends,” Tommy explained.

“That’s stupid. And coming from Felicity that says a lot.”

The gym teacher stood over them tossing down some towels. “Five laps around and then grab a shower.”

Olive rose and held out a hand to help Tommy up. Once they were both on their feet, they wrapped the towels around their necks and began a light jog around the gym.

“She’s afraid that you’d prefer to spend your time with any number of girls who’ll throw themselves at you the second they realize Laurel isn’t there to hold them back,” Tommy said as they completed their first lap.

“I’d rather sit with Felicity,” Oliver admitted. Sad part was it was also honest. Felicity intrigued him more than half the girls at their entire school. She never lacked for conversation once you got her talking. And it was stuff that fascinated him, even if he might not be into it himself. Or maybe it was just Felicity’s way of talking that made the conversations so addictive.

“I’m beginning to wonder about your fascination with our young friend.”

“She’s not that much older than Thea. She’s in a high school environment. I’m just looking out for her. Same as I would for Thea.”

Tommy’s head turned toward him, his head cocked. “First of all, Thea is your sister. Felicity isn’t. Second, Felicity is only four years younger than us, while Thea is ten. That’s a big difference. And lastly, you haven’t been looking at Felicity lately like you would Thea.”

“I don’t look at her at all.” Oliver glared at his best friend. “And why would I? I could have any girl I want. Pretty much any woman as well. And Felicity is a little girl.”

“She’s not so little anymore,” Tommy said. “Don’t know if you noticed but she’s developing.” When Oliver growled and his eyes burned into Tommy, his friend held up his hands in defense. “Michael sure as hell noticed. I happened to hear him talking to Chuck at the party.”

“I’m going to kill that kid.” Oliver off the top of his head pictured at least five different ways to do it.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that sounded a touch jealous just then. Possessive,” Tommy teased. Oliver wasn’t having any of it. There was no teasing where Felicity was concerned.

Finished with the whole conversation, Oliver picked up the pace of his run and left Tommy behind. Quickly finishing his laps, Oliver slammed his way into the shower. Stripping, he turned on the taps. Cold water shot out and Oliver relished the feel on his overly heated skin. Oliver leaned against the wall and just let the water calm him.

“Hey, dude. If you’re going to jack off, do it in a stall,” some kid called out from the shower next to him.

“Fuck off,” Oliver told him, barely turning his head in the kid’s direction.

“You’re not my type,” the guy said with a smile and turned off the tap and grabbed a fresh towel from the nearby pile.

Tommy walked in and took the guy’s place. “So, you going to tell me what happened back there?”

“Guy’s a jerk.” Oliver nodded at the laughing kid who walked back toward the lockers. Straightening, Oliver stretched and ducked his head under the water.

“I wasn’t talking about him.” Tommy ran his hand through his hair getting rid of any sweat. “God, I hate gym first and last periods. The water’s always cold as fuck.”

“We’re not all lucky enough to have saunas in our personal bathrooms, Merlyn,” Mr. Clark, the gym teacher, said as he walked by and glowered at the two of them.

“I think he hates me,” Tommy bemoaned.

“No. He definitely hates you,” Oliver told him with a smile.

“It’s not my fault his wife was let go from Dad’s company.”

Oliver shook his head as he turned off the taps. “She wasn’t let go. She was fired. My dad told me about it.”

“Wanna tell me about it? Dad is, as usual, a little short on the details.” Tommy shut down his own shower and followed Oliver over to the towels. “Back to Felicity. What’s up with the two of you?”

Oliver wished he knew. Grabbing a towel, he began to wipe down. Finished, he wrapped it around his waist and headed for his locker. “You know, I think I’d rather tell you what happened to Mrs. Clark.”

“Nice avoidance tactic, buddy,” Tommy said with a grin. “But I will find out eventually.”

Oliver could only hope that he’d figure out what was going on first.

OQFSOQFSOQFS

Felicity edged around the cafeteria, her tray gripped tight in her hands. A large group of seniors gathered around one table and Felicity was pretty sure Oliver had to be in the middle of it. The fact that the group was eighty percent beautiful girls pretty much cemented that thought in her head.

Finding a small, empty table in the back that would only hold two people, Felicity set down her tray. This would be perfect. It was just big enough for her tray and her books. A great place to settle for the rest of the year.

“I didn’t think you would ever sit down.”

Felicity saw a tray slid onto the table across from hers and her eyes shot up the long, tanned arms of the interloper. Oliver. She should have known. Cross that. She did know. The second he spoke. “I thought you were sitting over there.”

Oliver glanced at the group that Felicity indicated over his shoulder and shrugged. “Why would I want to hang out with those jocks?”

“I don’t know,” Felicity told him. “Maybe, because over two-thirds of them are all gorgeous girls.”

“Two-thirds? Really? You can tell that just by looking at them?”

“Over two-thirds.” Why was she correcting him?

Oliver turned back to her and grabbed the milk on her tray. He opened it and plopped it back in front of her. “I guess I could hang out with them, but I’d rather sit with you. I wouldn’t have much to say over there.”

“Right! Because you don’t talk to girls.” Felicity rolled her eyes and fiddled with her food. “Maybe if I suggested you go over and pick one up so you could sleep with her you would have left.” Ignoring the anger that appeared in Oliver’s eyes, Felicity jerked her milk up to her lips. In the process, it spilled on her new blouse. Tears welled up in her eyes as she grabbed a napkin and tried to swipe it out of the fabric. This was the nicest shirt she ever owned and she couldn’t afford for it to be ruined.

“Let me help.” Oliver grabbed a napkin and licked it before he leaned across the table and pressed it to her collar where some of the milk must have landed without her knowledge.

“I can do it,” Felicity practically growled at him.

“Why are you being so catty? What did I do?”

“Nothing.”

Oliver groaned and sat back down, throwing the napkin on the table. “Great. What was it?”

Felicity stopped cleaning and met his eyes. “Nothing.”

“Which means in female terms means that I messed up.” Oliver cocked his head. “What did I do?”

“You want a reason?” She couldn’t believe he was actually still sitting there.

“Yes.” Oliver sat there studying her, his face intent. “I want an answer.”

“Because I didn’t want to eat with you.” It was the first answer she could come up with. It was plausible because she hadn’t really expected to have him sit with her anyway.

Oliver took in the table and the location that was separated from a large portion of the lunchroom. “Are you planning to be here with Michael?”

“No.” Why was that his first thought? She just wanted to be left alone.

“So, it’s me.”

“Yes.” Frack. She hadn’t meant to say that. She saw hurt invade his eyes. “No. I didn’t mean that.”

“Sounded like you did.” The two of them sat there, silence lay heavy between the two of them. Finally, he broke the tension, only to create more. “I apologized. I bought you some damn earrings. If I could change what happened, I would. But I can’t. Why can’t you get over that?”

“I have,” Felicity said in her loud voice, drawing the attention of the couple of tables that were nearby. She took a deep breath. “It isn’t that.” She reached across the table and laid a hand over Oliver’s but quickly pulled it back when a shot of electricity shot up her arm.

“You can’t even touch me,” he remarked. Oliver stood and grabbed his tray. “I’ll sit somewhere else and leave you alone.”

“I’m sorry,” Felicity apologized. “Sit.”

Oliver shake of his head had her closing her eyes to keep the tears back. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please, sit,” she begged opening her eyes.

“Why? You don’t want me here.”

His words couldn’t be further from the truth. Felicity actually craved his attention. More than she should. One of the many reasons she hated puberty. “Please.”

“Fine.” Oliver sat back down but his back was stiff. Felicity could tell that he was beyond uncomfortable. “But, tomorrow I’ll sit somewhere else.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” A complete lie. She knew exactly what was wrong with her. Crushes sucked when you were well aware that the person you crushed on had no idea or would never be interested if they did.

“It’s okay,” Oliver said with understanding that she didn’t understand. “Laurel’s the same way at least once a month.” Felicity’s cheeks flamed but Oliver didn’t even notice as he picked up his burger and took a large bite.

“It’s not that. That was a couple of weeks ago.” Frack! Felicity clamped her hand over her mouth. Oliver’s eyes shot up from his tray to meet with hers. He stopped chewing and swallowed hard. Well, there was no hope that he happened to miss the comment.

“Is that why you couldn’t come with me and Thea?”

Sure, let’s talk about this, Oliver. Felicity inwardly shuddered. Because every pubescent teenager wished to talk about their menstrual cycle with their high school crush. “Yes.”

“Sorry.” Why did he really seem sorry? Gah!

“It’s not your fault. Not unless you happened to be the one to offer Eve the apple.”

“What?” He looked genuinely confused and Felicity bit back a smile.

“You know, the snake offered Eve the apple and she offered it to Adam.” At his still confused stare, Felicity waved the conversation away. “It doesn’t matter. Just forget it.”

“Are you and I seriously having a conversation about Adam and Eve at lunch?” Oliver couldn’t believe it. He did not need to think of Felicity in any context where she’d be naked. Not after Tommy brought the changes to Felicity to his attention. Oliver sat there silently berating his smaller head for reacting to the thoughts that were more than wrong. Felicity was barely a teenager. Oliver wished he wouldn’t look so stupid, because he seriously wanted to smack himself in the head.

Felicity’s cheeks seemed to have become a permanent shade of red. She tried to hide behind her long hair but she had to sweep it back to one side in order to eat. And in that moment, her food seemed like the most important thing in the world to her.

“How are classes?” Oliver asked. He figured a change of subject would be the best for the both of them. And the thought of studying always killed his libido quickly.

“Good. Laurel’s in my computer class.”

“She is?” Good. Laurel. That would definitely keep Oliver’s wayward thoughts in check. Thoughts that he couldn’t figure out why he was thinking. This was Felicity. Young Felicity. Smart Felicity. Not some girl to sleep with just to keep himself occupied.

Felicity nodded and shoved a couple of fries into her mouth. There were so many of them in there that she had to cover her mouth to even chew. It was kind of adorable. Damn it, he berated himself. Don’t start that again.

“Tommy’s having a back to school bash at the Merlyn Manor on Friday night,” Oliver told her. “You going?”

“He hasn’t invited me,” she mumbled around her food.

“I’m inviting you.”

Her eyes grew wide and she tried to swallow but it caught in her throat. She began to choke and Oliver jumped up to help. He was about to start pounding her on the back when she held up a hand to stop him and took a drink of milk. “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh.” He had no argument for that. In the thin pink blouse she wore over a tank top and black jeans, he had no argument about how she looked. Though Oliver had a serious feeling the top was her mom’s idea. Felicity seemed to prefer a more edgy style and the blouse surprised him the second he saw her in it. More than that Oliver recognized the top. It had once been worn by his mother. She had thrown it in the thrift shop bin after only wearing it once because she claimed the pink was so bright that it washed her out. It did no such thing on Felicity. Actually, it complimented her coloring. Even when her cheeks burned with embarrassment. The way Felicity acted in it, he could tell it made her feel beautiful and grown up.

“I’ll ask my mom, but I’m sure she’ll probably tell me I can go. Especially if Tommy is holding it. She really likes him.” Felicity twisted a piece of her hair on her finger. “What’s everyone wearing?”

Oliver shrugged and settled back in his seat. “Casual, I guess,” he told her as he put a few of his fries on her tray.

“You don’t have to give me your fries.” Felicity lifted them back up and began to put them back but Oliver held her off. “I still haven’t finished my burger and the bell’s about to ring in five minutes. Eat them.”

“Thanks,” she said as she put one in her mouth.

“No problem. Does that mean that I might be able to join you every now and then for lunch?” Oliver nodded toward the group that Felicity noticed earlier. “You know when I need to escape.”

“I’m sorry.” She reached out to him and this time he grabbed her hand so she couldn’t pull away. “You can sit here anytime.”

“And if I do,” Oliver stared down at their joined hands for a moment before returning his attention to the girl in front of him, “will you be here too?”

When she nodded, Oliver felt relief course through him. Scooping up his burger, Oliver finished it in a couple of bites. He tried to pretend that her answer didn’t mean as much to him as it did. Her acknowledgement had made him feel like he had won some sort of battle. A battle he didn’t know he had been willing to fight until he noticed the consequence of loss.

For the rest of the afternoon, Oliver tried hard to figure out why it had meant so much for him to win. Felicity certainly wasn’t any sort of conquest. Definitely not someone to notch a hole in his bedpost for. If he was honest with himself, when it came to Felicity he’d throw out his whole damn bed. Oliver didn’t really want to dwell on why.

@almondblossomme @miriam1779 @1106angel @sunshine0977

#olicity fanfiction #olicityfic #Olicity

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