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qualkoesuce-blog · 5 years

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Asian speed dating london uk

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saveexchange-blog · 6 years

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Life (And Some Death) At The Exchange

- Alba

(Photo: A bit of an emotional moment for me right after Brexit thanks to Martha's drum kit. I totally felt like I was where I should be after feeling a bit out of place on the days before.)

Back in Barcelona, the music scene was and has always been vibrant, but if we talk about DIY alternative events, specifically in terms of indie/punk music, it was very poor when I was living there. My biggest highlight of the year was going to The Fest in Gainesville, Florida - after that I will always be dreaming of starting (or trying to start) a similar community to what I would see every year I had been there. Some of my friends and I tried to organise small gigs to kind of meet our needs for watching bands we loved and share that with the local community, but we were always losing money and some of us were also ready to move out of our country, so we decided to put an end to it sadly.

I think The Exchange was actually the first venue I went to in Bristol – even before I moved from Barcelona to Brighton. It was for one for one of those very missed Deadpunk Special all dayers, which used to be very fun! The venue was also the first one I went to once I actually moved to Bristol - I went to see Joyce Manor just when they put out my not particularly favourite song from them called “Heart Tattoo” (ermm, I am just listening to it as I am typing this). It was after a considerably bad season I had when I was living in Brighton, but then I came here and it all started to change slowly thanks to the music scene!

That was kind of a new start for me and the very welcoming Exchange was part of it! I met many awesome people going there, whom I possibly would not be still here without. The Exchange was actually that magical place where I brewed my first massively horrible hangover since I am here – I remember throwing up in the corner, next to The Stag & Hounds. Those were good times if I do not count that exact moment and the days after.

Now being serious, I feel like it is the place I hang out the most, where I have seen some of my favourite bands (for not saying most) and enjoy my nights at. Even some of my dates and some of my workmates (for work catch ups, lol) have joined me to go there – it really is my second home. I have seen plenty of great bands like Jeff Rosenstock, Iron Chic, Lemuria, Screaming Females, Pale Angels, DOE, Camp Cope, Sundials, etc. I also witnessed the last gig from Austeros, which was quite emotional, DJ Popular sessions, where I danced to the best 90s pop hits, and Cassie's birthday party, which was quite boozy as you can expect! However, there is more than gigs and parties happening at The Exchange. Witnessed all the hand waving that Roo Pescod did on his musical Loam Junction, bought a ticket to watch the documentary “Don’t Break Down” about Jawbreaker (I didn't make it because I was too hangover I think)... Is that not enough to convince you on how cool and essential this place is for culture in Bristol? Well, there is even more to it, mate. The coffee shop downstairs have such delicious food I rarely miss every week and Specialist Subject Records, upstairs, sells the best records you can think of, apart from great books and fanzines – yes, I spend half of my salary on there.

Without this space, Bristol would not be the same and DIY promoters would have it even harder to put up excellent and very diverse events like the ones happening in the venue. If you do not really want to lose another space, then do something about it and maybe donate what you can or try to save some money and buy a share! Only 8 days left - it is now or never!

Favourite gig: I am really struggling to choose one, so I am going to say Screaming Females (recently) and Lemuria (on their last visit).

#Bristol #Exchange #Exchange Bristol #Community Ownership #Bristol 24/7 #Bristol Music #Bristol Punk #Deadpunk Special #Save Exchange

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365footballorg-blog · 6 years

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How Cotterill used Lego in his long-term battle against depression

Warning: this article contains content which you may find upsetting.

Feeling he had nowhere else to turn, David Cotterill would try anything to distract his mind from his own thoughts.

There were times he’d be sat in a hotel room on international duty, spending hours painstakingly piecing together his latest Lego construction.

Teammates would raise eyebrows, but wouldn’t pick up on the clues. His kids aren’t with him. He’s not just passing time. He’s desperately trying to block out his own thoughts. Thoughts that would take him to dark places, even at one stage to contemplate suicide.

The 30-year-old knows such moments are some of his lowest in a battle he has fought with depression since his teens, moments that have proven far harder for him to forget than they are to talk about.

There were times when the Wales winger was stopped by the restraint and tears of his wife, feeling like he could no longer go on.

These were times and moments he would never dare discuss in front of managers or team-mates, fearful more of the consequences of opening up than of death.

‘Didn’t want to face the world’

These were the darkest days of Cotterill’s mental struggles, which he has carried with him through a career of more than 400 games for Birmingham, Swansea, Sheffield United, Doncaster and Wigan, including 24 caps for his country.

The Cardiff-born midfielder says he had most of the material things many would dream of: the cars, the house, the wages and the fulfilled boyhood ambition of playing in the Premier League and on the international stage.

This was all by the age of 17, all ultimately irrelevant to Cotterill, all overshadowed by a realisation that the depression and anxiety he has felt from schooldays was consuming him.

Football provided a release, but not the support.

“When you’re around others the conversations are flowing and you tend to not have time to think about it, you’re looking forward to going out to train,” Cotterill says, speaking publicly for the first time about his struggles.

“But there would be times when I finished training and I couldn’t wait to go and lie in bed. I’d be there for hours.

“Particularly in the off-season, I’d just spend three or four days at a time not even eating, just thinking the worst things you can imagine and not actually sleeping at all. You’d stay there because you didn’t want to face the world.”

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Cotterill says he always “sensed he was a little bit different”; that it was more than just the typical teenage difficulties.

He says the excitement of his early career – he had already become Wales’ then-second youngest international in 2005 before a £2m move to the Premier League with Wigan from Bristol City – stopped him focusing on what was always in the background. It did not last.

“I had an Aston Martin, the big house, anything a person could want – but you can’t help what’s in the brain,” he concedes.

“It’s the most powerful tool you have and what you feel can block out everything you have. And when you’re fighting that battle every day, it takes its toll.”

Cotterill explains the hardest periods were often when he wasn’t playing, not because of being out of the team, but being unable to have what he calls his ‘release’.

“When I didn’t have that, it would double, triple what you’d have in your head,” he says.

‘How can you do that when you have children, a wife?’

Drink became a crutch, but it only, eventually, exacerbated the issues. A false sense of control built up into both rages and moments of clarity when he wanted it to end.

Cotterill recalls: “In the early stages, I’d always have to go and have a drive where I would spend hours in the car and think a lot of bad things.

Read more about depression on the NHS website[1]

“I’ve searched for the easiest way to commit suicide. Then you think, how can you do that when you have children, a wife?

“You kind of then have a couple of days when you feel OK again, but it keeps repeating itself.”

Cotterill says he realised he was in “a dark place”, although neither team-mates nor managers would ever know, something he believes is part of both his and football’s problem with depression.

In long periods on the road, he says plenty might have attempted conversations with him and “I wouldn’t be there” but, in general, he says they would also describe him as “one of the liveliest in the dressing room”.

He was never tempted to let them in.

‘There’s footballers all over the country who feel this way’

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“Put it this way, if I went to a manager and said I’m struggling mentally, I need a break or I need a little bit of help, there’s no way he’s playing me on a Saturday or a Tuesday,” Cotterill says.

“He would say ‘he’s not mentally stable, he’s not mentally up for it’ – and my release was to go and play.

“I guarantee there’s footballers all over the country who feel this way. They won’t tell the manager because they’re not going to jeopardise their place, they’re not going to jeopardise their earnings to look after their family, so they’re parking this to one side.

“I don’t think you can go to the manager or club and say, ‘by the way I’m not coming in today, I’m going to see a doctor because mentally I’m not feeling great’. It’s not possible.”

Cotterill credits his wife of two-and-a half years for making a big change to how he’s learned to cope with his mental illness, adding that “without her I probably wouldn’t be here today”.

It was her he first opened up to, saying he had “parked” for too long because of football.

Using Lego as therapy

Cotterill would use Lego as a way of distracting him during long hours in hotel rooms, team-mates not picking up on the clues of the therapeutic nature of constructing toy brick buildings.

Without a club after his release from Birmingham and a short-lived spell in India, cooking is his latest focus.

Counselling and regular contacts with a therapist have helped. He took a personal decision to opt against the support of the Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) because he wanted to go “outside of football”, though he accepts they could be the best choice for others who he encourages to “find that person you can speak to”.

“I feel better for speaking about it,” he says, with one of the reasons for breaking his silence being to help others feel more able to talk about issues honestly.

“When I spoke to my wife more about it I actually felt better. Your rash decisions and what you’re doing doesn’t make sense, but if you explain it more you’re getting it off your chest and people can better understand why you act the way you act.”

Yet, pointing to the difference to the everyday workplace, the winger has his doubts if the football industry can change anytime soon.

BBC: Mental Health[2]

PFA: More players affected by mental health issues[3]

“I truly believe if a manager or club finds out they’d use it as a weapon to not play you. If you’re the big man or big dog in that football team you potentially might get help; if you’re just a number in that squad I don’t think you’re getting the help you deserve or need,” Cotterill says.

“If we’re trying to protect injuries, knee injuries, foot injuries, whatever it might be, then why are we not protecting the brain, I don’t get it. We definitely need to look into it.

“If everyone was open and honest (in football) about depression there would be a scary number. A huge number.”

Cotterill talks about being encouraged by his counselling to take the little steps rather than the big ones

But he knows going public is his biggest stride forward in a battle he admits he might never win, but simply learn to better deal with and manage.

And this time he is not concerned with the sporting consequences, saying: “If talking about it affects me from signing somewhere else then I don’t want to continue to play football.”

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article you can find the details of organisations offering support via Action Line.[4]

References

^ Read more about depression on the NHS website (www.nhs.uk)

^ BBC: Mental Health (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ PFA: More players affected by mental health issues (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ Action Line. (www.bbc.co.uk)

BBC Sport – Football

How Cotterill used Lego in his long-term battle against depression was originally published on 365 Football

#against #battle #Cotterill #depression #Lego #longterm #used

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ashleigh-abroad-blog · 7 years

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The End

My journey in Rotterdam has finally come to an end and it has definitely been an experience. I will miss the place and the people so much and cant wait to re-visit Rotterdam and the people i’ve met from all over the world. The time I have spent in Rotterdam allowed me to experience a huge number of different things to what I have been used to in the UK. Experiencing the difference in culture, unlike before as I was actually living here for almost 6 months, was really interesting and there where a number of things i preferred about NL and made me appreciate something more from the UK. WdKA also presented things I liked and dislikes. The organisation of the exchange was awful, I was given basically no information about what I would be doing at the academy and had to find out everything for myself. This made the beginning of my trip difficult and made me feel pretty intimidated, but after meeting the rest of the exchange people in my class we were able to sort things out as a group. We had to arrange our own tour of the buildings and find out about extra classes we had to sign up to, to pass the year. The way the semester was split into two halves, each one having one large project. This was nice because it meant you could fully focus on one thing and put in a lot of work, unlike at UWE where you have multiple projects ongoing all semester. However if you didn’t like the project, like myself in the first half i was there, it made it difficult to be interested - because as UWE if you dislike one project, you can put more effort into another one. The classes also consisted of a lot of feedback sessions, which were really helpful and interesting to speak to other students - something i wish we did more often in our classes as home. WdKA also had a second series of classes which were mixed with all the other majors - meaning I ended up working with people from fine art, illustration, audio visual etc. which was really cool to do. Finally the academy had some many facilities, almost the same as we have at UWE, however there was no sign up sheets or anything, meaning you could walk in and use them when ever you wanted. This made things so much easier than at UWE where you sometimes have to sign up weeks in advance. WdKA allowed you to try out your ideas as soon as you thought of them, rather than having to wait. I feel this allowed you to be a lot more free and try out a lot more things, developing you work quicker. They also had some great machines we don’t have / are not allowed to use ourselves at UWE. Mainly the book binding machines which I used almost daily, taking just a few minutes to bind and trim a book, rather than again having to go in, book you print and wait around a week for the outcome. I feel this allowed me execute my work to higher standard as trial and error took no time at all.

Before arriving I was told that dutch people may come across rude, however i think they are a lot more straight to the point. Things that we in the uk may deem rude, is actually just a lot more honest and said in fewer words..unlike english people who are also so conscious of trying not the offend anyone. I think this is something I definitely learnt from, after getting used to it, and wish everyone was a bit more like. I remember my flat mates even saying they’d become more conscious to say please and thank you all the time - as in the uk its something we are taught to do all our lives. I also think Dutch people live a very relaxed and laid back lifestyle. Almost everyone I encountered was polite and well behaved making the city a very nice place to live in. And although this was cool most of the time... I honestly missed the hustle and bustle and craziness of living in places like Bristol and London. Something I felt Rotterdam was lacking in a personality as it was clean and ‘perfect’ all the time. However the city itself is very interesting, full of crazy architecture and sculptures, I just wished the people would full suit more often. I also noticed how most students where very driven, almost everyone I encountered would being working on personal projects along side studying, which I find more rare of the people I know in the UK. This inspired me and made me realise I need to do more things for myself to build my own portfolio. Rotterdam was amazing for exhibitions and galleries, as it had so so many ever changing exhibitions, meaning I was able to see new things almost every week! I saw some beautiful work while there and this is something I will definitely miss and think Bristol is lacking in! The university culture is so so different in NL. Almost non existent in comparison. People just live where ever they can get a room, rather than with a group of friends like most people do in the UK. I was lucky to live with students too, however I don’t think I meet anyone else in the same situation. Living with friends is one of my favourite parts of university and I feel sorry that dutch students don’t get the experience that. In Bristol I lived in a very busy house, with people there all the time, but in NL every weekend my flatmates went to their family homes, meaning I was alone in the flat. This definitely took me a while to get used to and was something I really hated to begin with..however towards to end I learned to love having a free flat so often...but overall I much preferred to busy house we had in Bristol and cannot wait to move back into in September. Overall my journey was a ‘rollercoaster of emotions’ (cringe!) which some high and low points, however I am so pleased I got the chance to live abroad and experience living in a new culture. It has definitely made me appreciate things from home a lot more and also made my want to travel and experience more things like this grow. I loved meeting people from different countries and learning about the way they live at home. I would recommend to anyone to do an exchange programme, however perhaps I would not recommend WdKA as highly.

:-)

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