#i think it was a hard decision to accept

[wicked-cat]

man, bdubs was insane for deciding not to make episodes for limited life but seeing what he does only from others' perspective is so interesting.. if he ends up making a single montage in the end is gonna be a masterpiece

#it's like #distance makes the heart grow fonder #yknow? #limited life #bdubds #i think it was a hard decision to accept #but a good one #i watch too many povs all together i would end up not enjoying it as much #instead he mixed it up a bit #i think its a very interesting approach #myminestuff

[shima-draws]

Actually genuinely started crying when Luffy almost said he wanted Usopp off the ship and then Sanji interrupted and yelled at him. What the hell. This shit is so sad what the FUCK bro

#In TEARS rn. Esp bc they’re really driving it in hard how MUCH the entire crew cares about Usopp #Even Sanji and Zoro who aren’t overly affectionate with him #My heart is BREAKING my kokoro is brokoro!! THAT SHIT HURTED!!!! #When Luffy and Usopp started arguing that’s when the waterworks started. I was sitting there like 🥺😭 my sweet darling boys pls don’t fight #The boys are fighting 😔 #Also it’s understandable why Usopp’s in denial and doesn’t want to let the Merry go but it’s also SO frustrating #Bc he’s clearly making it out to be that Luffy doesn’t care about the Merry #When in fact Luffy was probably the MOST upset at having to let her go #And he fucking AGONIZED over the decision to get a new ship #It’s a burden as the captain and he accepted everything that came with it #But Usopp just. Doesn’t get that. Bc he’s got too much of his own personal shit going on #And Luffy is upset that Usopp would even think he didn’t take the time and consideration to think over what to do with the Merry…… #ZERO trust there. Usopp’s majorly disrespecting Luffy. I bet Zoro in particular is Not happy about that #God this arc is written so well. I’m so upset. I’m SO upset #Lies down #One Piece #Shima speaks

[carefulfears]

thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"

her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."

thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."

(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")

her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."

bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."

and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."

(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")

and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."

she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?

"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."

#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations #is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is... #and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was. #the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels. #'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way. #i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.' #my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world #of which mulder and scully are not exempt #but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion #and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal. #despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again #because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be #'on the side of the victim' #and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says #what would she have missed?? #txf.txt #you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life #congratulations! you've missed the point! #all things #emily #dreamland

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all #which. again. is false #but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept #and like. It’s FINE #but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony #and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom #unable to move or function #I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing #but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully #like an unseen wound #and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people #is one of the most painful things #just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them #and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning #and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb! #tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams #or impetus or forward motion or anything #because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy #so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE #actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it #when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions #that’s the problem #anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.

[mejomonster]

On a serious note, I do feel mysterious case lotusbook has a lot of sincere themes about getting older, realities of responsibility and dreams realized, how it's difficult to succeed and not always the direct path one expects, how there's value in little aspects of life. Almost every li lianhua scene seems to be about that to some degree. The murder cases aren't particularly deep as far as super complicated to figure out or Able to be predicted super well (since they don't always give all the details in the initial setup), but the themes about who was killed and why do connect to li lianhuas situation.

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #by all this i mean: a lot of the positive things li lianhua AND di feisheng say are fairly good advice tbh #like a fei? hes like you need to be fair in your decisions for your actions to be worthwhile and earned #li lianhua: sometimes being the one taking all responsibility was bad for you and the people you led who felt burdened #by You taking the burden. and stepping back can be a respectable choice. #cooking is more difficult than fighting. keeping yourself alive is Hard and its the hardest thing we do #and its admirable even when youll never be a hero never be able to achieve what those around you might #your peers are worthwhile if they choose diffetently than you (qian wanmian isnt lesser for not choosing to lead a sect and instrad #dissolving it. di feisheng doesnt think li lianhua is no longef worth his time even though hes weaker now. li lianhua is still someonr he #wants to see alive see brlieve in himself see passionate about things. the monks think its never too late to #reconnect to people again. that people who love you will want you and accept you even when you fail. #even fang duobing by knowing li lianhua gets the experience of someone who wants him alive #and fondly smiles and Is proud of him. evrn if hes learning and fails and moody #fond of him in a way his family wasnt that strangers lied about due to his status #in a way that he clung to li xianyi for ALSO seeing value in him when he felt he didnt live up to expectstions of the world #its the Kindness of little moments of acceptance. of being kind to yourself and kind to others (even down to #not wantjng to kill suspects but take them to trial. not wanting scapegoats blamed. which arent usually done in wuxia) #its the fact this show is quite about gentleness and healing (i see the Love and Redemption screen writing ismilarities) #rather than about power struggles. do you know what i mean?

[lorillee]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO interesting because like in this entire conversation. this is the only thing miles says about manfred. like not even a subjective opinion its just. a statement. this relationship is SO FASCINATING ITS SO INTERESTINGGGGGGGGGGG

#lorillee liveblogs aa investigations 2: electric boogaloo #the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera #like im aware that the fanon likes to make him be like #''ooooooh manfred SUCKS i HATE him he was ABUSIVE AND HORRIBLE AND etc etc etc'' #but like. canonically miles has an incredible load of Very Conflicting And Complicated Feelings that he is trying very hard not to look at #and i think thats so much more fascinating. because like. manfred was his dad. like he was. even if he was a terrible person. #he was still his dad and miles looked up to him SO much he wanted his approval SO badly. #and then it turns out OOPS manfred killed gregory and also tries to frame miles for murder #for . frankly no real reason #because hes manfred von karma and anything to do with dl-6 just makes him make completely irrational and insane decisions #and like. miles ......... doesnt really get any closure. really. like he just has to accept all of this #and hes an incredibly emotionally stunted person anyways so its very much #''im going to bottle up all my feelings here and then one day ill die'' #and AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH THIS IS SO INTERESTINGGGGG

[nanamimizz]

i have so much mixed feelings about gale asking mystra’s forgiveness

#lamb.talks #like. ugh. Ugh. #its such a hard decision and i have such mixed feelings on it #mystra is his lover but also the embodiment of the thing that gale has loved his whole life which is the Weave. #and as his lover (used loosely) no i do not think gale needs to seek her forgiveness BECAUSE SHE WAS AN ABUSER TO HIM !!! #but what he did with unleashing the karsaite weave (something could consume the entirety of magic) is such a great sin #that as his GOD gale should seek redemption from #and its so hard to accept that as his good ending because mystra herself blurred the lines between being his lover and his god so much #IUGHHJHJ #clutches ny head

[theladyfae]

and we will not speak of those sins, for there was no way out for him. <//3

(click for better quality, do not repost)

alternative versions under the cut:

bonus: high contrast

bonus bonus: beginning sketch layer

#listened to broken crown for like 6 hours making this i couldn’t Not tweak the lyric <//3 #there are 4 alt versions because decisions are hard xo #but hello again merlin fandom my brainrot is back and my hannibal detour has made my love for parallels more intense #and arthur and merlin and morgana... my loves... the complexities <33 #artistic brainrot to the max i think it's about to start keeping me up at night again #(shoutout to sunny who thought i was awake at 4am and once i showed them this sort of just. accepted it.) #but mmmm can't wait to draw these pieces :D you're all so nice to me too #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin fanart #fae draws

[cerealandchoccymilk]

im. really really hoping that livio gets a comeback in tristamp season 2 somehow. its possible!! considering his abilities in maximum!!! and he still has that super regen in stampede!! like please. give him back ik you can do it.......

#[(edit several months later) shoutout to the time i ompletely missed legato saying 'hes still of use' in tristamp] #please make it a fakeout pleaseeeeeeee cmon #and ADD RAZLO BACK IN??????? PRETTY PLEASE????? #also while im on this topic. elendira #the one genuine criticism about stampede i have is the fact that elendira isnt trans #i have a feeling that the production team is. scared? #to make minority characters? #like i can tell that the production team is lgbt accepting etc #but out of that respect comes a fear of misrepresenting #bc the source material does have some slightly transphobic language (period-typical and not like. super bad stuff tho yk) #and they dont want to harm real trans people. which is valid! but you gotta try man. #which is why razlo reminded me of her. bc the “good alter”/“evil alter” thing *is* a dangerous stereotype #which maximum does navigate pretty well imo #but stampede has to simplify things bc of the situation and media type etc #so its hard for them! #..............what if elendira comes out as a trans guy in s2 #that would be kinda funny i think #a strange decision but. yk. we stay silly

[theultracharmingladynoire]

.

#okay. I've been giving this so much of thought and it's bugging me too much and I am just. Really conflicted about this #I've been lowkey whining about the same thing again and again and sorry for that djshdjdhhdhd #But like. yoi ep 12 has been really bugging me. A Lot. And I've talked about it earlier #And atp I have achieved peace with Victor's return (But even that's a bit shaky) #But Yuuri not winning gold....yeah that's definitely the elephant in the room to me #And the problem to me is just that. #I was and am not even bugged about it when I am WATCHING the show!! Or the episode It just...flowed (and I really need to rewatch) #But I've read a Lot of analyses of people laying out why it wasn't a good writing decision and they do have good points #But I just. CAN'T see it as entirely 'bad/flimsy' writing if that makes sense #Like. All of those posts were saying that it made the ending bad/underwhelming and was thematically a bit off #But I just can't bring myself to agree entirely with them?? #And it's so frustrating because I just. #I just want to have a clear cut opinion on it. Like I wish I found it easier to accept that it was a narrative misstep #but I CAN'T because. The rest of the show is just SO good so it is just. Really hard to buy that they would mess up on something so vital - #The ending #(I know they can! and it's okay but still.) #And I don't feel like I'd be able to enjoy the show as much if I concluded that the ending was entirely bad #Because I don't necessarily think that's the case - there's definitely some nuance there #And I do understand what the writers were going for from the interviews and stuff #And though that wasn't exactly a valid enough reason to not give him the gold it is understandable #So then usually. I'd leave that and stop thinking about it and just go back to thinking about the rest of the show #But I CAN'T and it's just So. Ugh #Like I know everything doesn't have to be perfect for me to like or something - the show is also flawed but still very much lovable #But I simply can't agree with all the meta talking about how Yuuri not winning gold was plainly and truly #wrong and dumb and stupid #Because there's definitely just a middle ground there - saying it is good/bad just seems very...idk it just rubs off wrong on me #But I've also seen some takes justifying the gold win and I can't bring myself to agree with them entirely either. #and on one hand him not winning gold doesn't bothe me too much because that gpf isn't his last at all. And he's definitely going to #become a five time world champion just like Victor says #(and also I want him to compete and win against Victor directly soo)

[siv239]

Lol @ dude who didn’t care about 5% chance of getting herpes from me but freaked out over 0.1% of me getting pregnant when I told him I’m never gonna have an abortion

#bro Im not the one that cares about condoms #it literally feels the exact same to me #im just telling you if you wanna go raw you gotta accept the risks #he’s like I don’t agree with that I think that should be a decision between both parents #and Im like yes dude I understand that’s why I’m giving you the choice now #i know allistics don’t decide things based on statistics but it’s very hard to understand

[starsonmarsy]

you ever just feel "why me" but in a not entirely bad way? like, why me? why did you pick me? why did you not leave me? why do you like me? what's so special about me? you have a choice and yet you still choose me every day. why?

#just rambling into the void #i don't see what anyone sees in me #so it's weird to me #and sometimes i'll push people away because i don't feel deserving #but as a wise friend has said to me #'you don't get to decide if you're deserving. that's my choice and you have to accept that.' #and it's hard bc the bpd urge to self sabotage n ruin good things because you think it's only a matter of time until you lose it anyway 🥴 #i will never understand your decision and though it may seem like i don't respect it i do and i appreciate it #i just can't fathom why anyone would make that decision when there's so many better options #why me? #mars.txt #vent? dunno

[stillfruit]

self sabotage knows no limits i’m this close to starting two master’s degrees at once

#do i need this? absolutely not is it even good for employment? i doubt it #i'm still not 100% sure this is possible bc i might have fucked something up when i turned in my bachelor's degree thing #but if not i can just continue on the master's degree programme on that while i start the new one i got accepted in #and then i'll fill in my elective blocks from both of them with the other #idk i just flat out don't think i could live with myself with graduating only to a master's in economics and business that feels. bad #so to have a master's degree in development studies on the side?? would make me feel less evil #anyway barely survived my bachelor's but like i can't even remember that now i felt nothing what's two more years #or three if i go slower bc of the workload but still what's the worst thing that could happen #i'm out of therapy i can do anything babey except really i can't it's a fragile balance and if it's disturbed i just get completly exhausted #but i jsut have the thing where i think i can do anything and if i can't it's because i'm too weak and lazy #the sensible thing to do would be to just start the new one and then change back after a year if it sucks but idk if could live with myself #having wasted that much time? when i already worked for 2 years before starting uni #i make nothing but bad decisions so making the decision to do both simultaneously and dump one of them if it gets hard feels less #destructive to my ability to make changes than just starting one and being stuck in that for a year #the problem kind of comes from governmental financial support for students which requires a certain amount of courses for each year #so if i can't drop the programme i get the financial support for otherwise i lose the support #anyway i have less than a month to decide we'll see where that'll take me i'll also ask my irl friends that have helped me get through uni #pretty sure they'll be 10000% against this but. what can u do i'm stupid #shit talking

[cinnabeat]

no tbh congrats to axel for basically raising two kids on his own like i think if they werent in the organization there wouldnt be nearly as much angst

#like. they really do try to communicate with each other #but its hard when your every move is scrutinized and any hint of emption is mercilessly shut down #and when everyone says one of you isnt real #and one of you has to kill the other #and everyone has to disappear #lmao MY POINT IS that the way axel talks to xion and roxas is like sooo similar to how i talk to my little brother sometimes #like they ask a question and the way he sometimes goes what do YOU think #or the way he explains things like i get it bro i too explain things like that to my little brother #and how its SO OBVIOUS he wants to shield them from the bad stuff but its really hard #like how parents need to be told to just let their kids get hurt sometimes bc you cant keep them safe all the time #like you can warn them all you like you can teach them all you know you can protect them as long as your able to but eventually theyre gonna #make their own decisions bc theyre independent little people and you have to just sit back and accept it and be there for them if it goes wr #wrong. except going wrong for roxas and xion means never coming back #and it might be the right thing to do in the end in a way but. it also really isnt #its both selfish and selfless #you just cant win :( #michi tag #thats not to say axel didnt fuck up lmao cuz he did but i think given the circumstances #it was the best anyone could do #unfortunately their best sucks shit but like again what can you do 😭

[mewtonian-physics]

the fact that some people unironically paint raiden as this abusive monster just baffles me tbh

#i can see where they started from but it's like they made a snap decision and immediately stopped thinking about it #hes had some fucked up moments i do not deny that or make excuses for them HOWEVER where is the pattern? #show me the pattern. oh wait. you can't. there isn't one. #i don't really talk about this much because it upsets me but like... #y'all i have been on the receiving end of some pretty horrific stuff #and when rose says he has a 'violent nature' i almost want to laugh #because i've spent my entire life living with someone who i would say actually does have one of those #and the contrast is unbelievable #there's a difference between a single isolated heavily regretted incident and a consistent pattern #especially when someone's been brainwashed to respond to perceived threats in a violent manner #it's pretty damn obvious raiden's aware of his own issues with that #and i just think it's unfair to look at someone who is clearly struggling with something that has been ingrained into him for years #and working very hard and doing very well at making sure it stays under control #and see him mess up one time and immediately decide that means he's a horrible person #what happened there was by no means good or acceptable #but at the same time it doesn't define him #i think how hard he works to try and keep things like that from happening is what really defines him #idk. i'll probably think about this for ten more minutes and then not talk about it again for months

[dxsertrot]

Actually everything has been too complicated and now that the sun is out I've decided that everything is actually easier than I thought and nothing has to hurt me unless I let it

#drinking coffee and smoking in the sun after a decent day of work #i got to work ot this weekend and do a tough job and the day after i hiked w my mom and ran along the beach w the dog #the longer i keep myself away from the narrative the more further removed and at peace i feel #although sometimes its somewhat distrupted when i see them but i reel it back in real quick #it just feels good to know that i dont have to let anyone in and that i have my people and thats all i need #im goung to carry myself the rest of the way through like i always have #and i dont need anyone elses validation #things will come to me when im ready and its right #if i dont want someone to hurt me then i simply dont have to allow them to hurt me #and if i hurt them then oh well. i need to protect my peace and my self esteem #i have things that i would like to work out but i need to accept that everything i want to have happen i cant make happen #ive been through too much and worked too hard and loved too hard and learned too much to let things like this touch me anymore #my self perception cannot hinge on anyone anymore because only i know what ive done and seen and felt and thought in every momemt of my lif #and how i look is not a solid descripter of all the aspects of me #it is not the bulk of my humanity it is hardly a grain of sand #im not angry or sad im just indifferent and ready for something better and healthier and more secure #and the things and people that i can have by relying on my looks do not hold much value anyways #besides. i am pretty. and im healthy and im good w my money and i laugh w my belly and i know a fuck of a lot more than i ever thought #and ive done more than i ever anticipated #i have a lot of things to be so okay with that i shouldnt even have to think about it #and the fact that i ever do is a luxary not given to the bulk of humanity #ive had the privledge to love many times and learn the lessons that accompany losing #and the privilege to make my own decisions and have my own priorities #i have the time and money to worry about frivolous things just like ive had the same to experience some really cool things #i am full of energy and opportunity and love and i get to decide when and where i want to direct that #if i direct it in a place that leave me feeling sad and empty and confused i can put my focus elsewhere unless i deem it worthy enough to #work at #and when ive poured too much in and got too little back ill know to reframe things #its not that complicated and its not that messy #it just is whatever i make it out to be and im tired of making everything out to be more and allow it to define me