#i spent like 45 minutes writing this or something i may as well maintag it

[boypussydilf]

various rambling and working out a vague picture of the timeline bc sabertoothwalrus has me thinking about The Fucking Thing With The Empress again

in the past i’ve assumed vampires didn’t really start coming out (of hiding i guess?? where were they?? what were they doing in all those centuries before the war when people did not believe magic was real so it’s not like they were aware vampires existed and were still around but . maybe they hibernated who knows whatever it doesn’t matter it’s just funny)

ANYWAY i kind of had assumed vampires didn’t really Come Back Out Into The World until marcy’s teen years/10-ish years after the mushroom bomb but vampworld VK finding marceline when she was like 6-7 indicates they were Out And Walkin’ Around pretty much right after the apocalypse hit

i guess as far as i remember there’s never any indication whether or not simon & marcy ran into any Vampire Problems while they were still together. i’ve assumed not but there’s no actual evidence for that. we basically know like 2 things that happened to them we don’t have a lot to go off of for what they Did or Did Not run into together

but for now i’m assuming not. it seems like vampires prefer to be Where Groups Of Humans Are, for obvious reasons, and it seems like simon & marceline never ran into any humans together (or at least not any friendly ones.) simon’s notes from i remember you indicate he thought they might have been the only people still alive & let’s be real if they ever found other people who were Not Hostile and had resources to survive simon would’ve immediately gone Oh boy!!! Someone who can take care of marcy and not fuck up!!!! and made her go with them while he fucked off into the woods to be sad and alone or whatever the hell he did after leaving her aside from getting hypnotized by a vampire.

i just got distracted bc its so funny Why did the empress choose this guy ??????????? like . insert “a thousand years later and you still can’t get anything right” girl if he’s always sucked at this why is he your Emotional Support Thrall. how did he not get killed

anyway i don’t think we have any indication whether he ever ran into any vampires while he was still with marceline but one way or another he sure does remember when there were vampires around and has a dedicated set of Vampire Survival Skills. skills is maybe the wrong word. he tries so fucking hard but he can’t stake a completely nonmoving target. did he always suck at this too

we know from the empress’s dialogue that simon had still not lost his mind all the way by the time she decided to make him her Favorite Little Human Servant - still remembered his name, still sane enough to Get Hypnotized, her surrounding dialogue when she calls ice king “this pathetic clown character” implies she remembers him acting More Like Simon and Less Like Ice King which is really fucking impressive, actually, he’s extremely Not Holding It Together when he leaves marceline and he still managed to hold on to his identity and some of his usual behavior for 5+ years after that without her jesus christ man

simon in the star talks about marceline becoming A Great Vampire Hunter kind of like it’s something he saw. she could’ve just told him about that part of her life sometime after CAWM, but,

the way marceline talks to the empress in empress eyes sounds kind of like she saw simon interacting with the empress. (“that’s the last time you toy with his heart”)

did they see each other again there? while marceline was hunting vampires? while simon still remembered who Simon Petrikov was?

who left who?

In conclusion fucked up right. Like huh. The entire situation raises so many questions. Why did they never bring this up again

#i spent like 45 minutes writing this or something i may as well maintag it #even if its just stream of consciousness rambling #adventure time #fionna and cake spoilers #atposting #basilposting #long post