#i shouldn't eveb have checked my weight yesterday

[indiangp]

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#sorry ranting again but #tw weight #i shouldn't eveb have checked my weight yesterday #i feel so disgusting doing anything today #like everything that i generally donr associate w weight is now reminding me like oh youre doing your daily walking but ur still overweigt #i cannot do anything normally without thinking about it #and its been so long since i hated myself this much this is so annoying #im scared whike filling uni forms because i think oh they will reject you cuz youre fat #even though it has nothing to do w my appearance at all #i didn't feel like cleaning my room today but then i was like oh youre ugly and disgusting at the same time ??? atleast clean your room #im trying to reason w myself but it's just not working #i skipped class today but i have to go tomorrow and im so scared cuz i dont really have friends there #but theres some nice girls i talk to once in a while and they have told me things like 'youre so pretty' 'i love your hair' etc #and i know because i usually do well in mock tests and dont annoy anyone... nobody really hates me #theyre pretty chill #but im still like oh these guys are gonna laugh at me or talk like did you see her today she couldn't have gotten worse #thankfully our break time bw classes is shorter now so i wont be eating during break because i always refuse when someone else offers me #i think the one girl i do share food w and talk to quite often is skipping tomorrow so im extra scared #i dont eveb know anymore #og