#i say that with the full bias of the fact that i obliterated everything with default leon and completely maxed him in every aspect

[sugar-petals]

Group Sex With SuperM

SUMMARY: creating a group chat is all it takes.

↳ A/N. yep, we’re going there. 

words. 14k

WARNINGS ⚠️ friends to lovers hc, porn with plot, idol au, sex w/ all members individually and together, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, sexting, blowjobs & cunnilingus, gaping, graphic, pegging, bondage, light foot fetish, sex toys, spitroasting (m receiving), brat taming, dick riding, protected sex, doggystyle, cuddling aftercare

curious about an eightsome are we

understood

how’s the state of things then?

last september you decided to open an entire group chat just for planning your juicy sexual activities together

and oh lord is it active

and full of ideas

and explicit videos

and emojis

and excitement

yesterday taemin sent a clip of lusciously covering himself in champagne foam for you

wearing close to nothing

in fact just a piece of gauze, a snake-shaped necklace, and probably a bit of perfume

oh boy

watching that was an out-of-body experience for sure

the entire chat basically imploded with reactions

but hey hey

not so fast

we need to go through everything from the start

to see how all these utterly historic events happened to unfold

so where did all that come from?

first off 

befriending super m outside work (eating together, fooling around, bingwatching stuff, you know)

...means there’s no point nor chance in having a permanent favorite with a group like this

every member truly is the creme de la creme

super m is the package of the entire packages

they are so legendary you can bias each member for one day of the week 

and never run out of that pure bliss

in fact 

you all agreed to do exactly that on a regular basis to get to know each other casually

it just naturally happened

seven days seven members that’s just logical

you can’t always hang out together in full attendance so you split up your times and set specific days

you change that routine very often depending on your individual moods

but it usually goes like this because you want to develop closer bonds with them one-on-one

so this is how it ends up

mondays you work out with xuxi. oh, that sexy smiley man. his body is the ultimate bomb. is there something better than doing sit-ups next to him? anybody’s sports motivation would go through the roof. and if there’s someone you call to share a pile of food with? it’s just gotta be him. being with yukhei is self-care.

tuesdays, you visit ten to check out his latest dance moves. and: to have a huge cuddle session with the cats. sometimes, you watch whatever series you’re in the mood for. it’s always a time to slow down and mend your sore muscles from monday anyway. you think ten is so interesting and talented, and super pretty, truly one of a kind.

on wednesdays jongin and you often end up on long midnight walks with the dogs or you both look after his cute nieces. meeting up at the river han is a staple, you get ice cream and snacks. you adore kai because he’s a sweetheart and steadfast person, and admittedly... so damn hot, holy hell. being with him makes you feel great.

thursday is baekhyun day and full of cheeriness as you’d expect. long hours of gaming, cheeky skinship, banter, and pizza eating await you at his apartment. you adore this mochi for his everything, he makes you laugh uncontrollably so much. sometimes, you also comfort him when he doesn’t feel good about himself or exhausted from practice. he will sing anything you want, baekhyun is like your personal 24/7 radio station.

fridays it’s time for the studio. mark is crafting his most fire bars and loves to have you around there. you inspire him a lot. he’s just completely astounding and the sweetest to you. friday most people would go clubbing, but super m just has to meet up in the studio. no paparazzi, and the music is obviously danceable. i’m telling you: this mob can jop, duh.

saturday is for handsome taeyong who loves coming to your home. cooking, organizing, doing the laundry, and browsing youtube together is the best thing. taeyong is the shyest goodest boy and a great listener. he gives great advice and is the epitome of respectful. you just vibe very well together.

sunday you dedicate to taemin. you watch artsy films, experiment with outfits, and he plays the piano for you so expertly. man, you are lucky. he’s like a fairy to you, and a connoisseur, a mythical figure almost. since he’s a newly-found cat dad, you easily fill your day playing with the most interesting kitten that is lee kkoong. sometimes, you even meet shinee members dropping by.

so yes this is what paradise looks like

and they all love to engage with you in their own way and you develop favorite ways to spend time, they put so much effort into this

it goes without saying that you all realize how hard you’re crushing as the weeks pass

like can you imagine

all the hormones i swear

you’ve already been joking to them that you have seven boyfriends some months ago

well the prophecy is fulfilled faster than you can blink

when you meet up as eight for a movie night at baekhyun’s, the atmosphere feels pretty frisky

because lucas is sending you ten thousand glances and certainly nobody misses that

if this guy is laughing at your every word i mean

meanwhile taeyong is having a nervous meltdown at your every comment about the movie, it’s ridiculous, he’s smitten as fuck, he looks at you like you’re an actual goddess

mark keeps on making glimmering eyes at you as well, and he asks you if you want popcorn every two minutes

baekhyun is all curled up close to your lap and not even watching the movie because his face is almost nuzzled into your sweater for fuck’s sake

taemin has spent the entire preperation in complete frenzy making sure there are scented candles everywhere and the snacks are exquisite and costly. mother taemresa? at full throttle. he even used his own damn credit card.

meanwhile kai suffers from his fidgety legs, constant hair fixing and even more inability to concentrate on the movie 

because damn, he knows he wants your attention. he literally came around with the tightest shirt he owns so there’s that. you can see every little muscle doing its thing when he does as much as breathe. kai is now well aware he came to impress. it won’t take him a lot to realize he wants to be even closer to you than doing midnight walks.

ten is so firmly snuggled up next to you, he might as well be your cat himself. if ten starts acting like a clingy feline instead of being in roast mode, you know he’s lovestruck i’m telling ya

needless to say

the mood in the room is hard to ignore

hell there are romance candles everywhere all those hecking rose fumes are to blame

surprise surprise all the members try to sit as close as possibly to you the more the movie progresses

even abandoning the couch and seats to sit on the ground in front of you instead

“you want popcorn?”

“like some more popcorn?”

“here, have my popcorn!“

“more popcorn?”

“hey do you want popcorn?”

from all sides, constantly

the m in super m stands for making sure you have popcorn

you never run out

like when the leading lady is pulling out a cigarette in those old hollywood flicks and at least twenty guys are scurrying to offer a lighter

i’m exaggerating but

nobody even knows what kind of movie they’re watching tonight though

the elephant in the room is trumpeting too loud to understand the dialogue

you’re surrounded by seven big ole hotties who have fallen for you

it was inevitable

it’s more than clear to everyone that they all like you and you couldn’t be any more fluttered yourself

let the hunger games begin

i’m jopping i mean i’m joking

this is not the wwe

it’s pretty clear to the boys that if they fight you’re gonna be so unhappy and your quality time together is ruined

you adore them all, and they’d be regretful about hurting their own bonds 

and anyway

if it came down to it and the bad blood was really escalating um...

...ten would destroy all of the competition

there’s no denying

by the simple virtue of his badassery and winning disease

quickly reducing all his opponents to a pile of dust so fine-grained, the great freddie mercury himself would resurrect to sing the soundtrack in the background and pump his fist

imagine that. superm actually being gladiators i mean wasn’t that the entire jopping mv

baekhyun would try to pull the leader authority card and use his hapkido martial arts skill but ten would obliterate him anyway so

even if taemin put on a dark robe and drew a salt circle to summon a million snakes from hell, ten would win the fight to a fault

but that’s too apocalyptic and outside of that thought experiment the boys are actually kinda shy so... let’s scratch that

there are seven days of the week with good reason 

you ease the uncertainty and tension by saying you’d truly fail as a tv bachelorette

everyone understands that deciding would be impossible and cheating is shit

why give someone a rose and break 6 hearts when you can hand out a whole damn bouquet

it’s more stylish my friend

and for what reason would ten want to face off against taemin and his army of snakes in the first place. they’re ten’s greatest inspiration

nor does kai have any tighter shirts 

he already ran out, he brought his A game from the get-go

on top of that the popcorn is empty there’s no more to offer

so you remain with the idea to just keep your daily routine

xuxi monday, ten tuesday and so on

keeps everything in order

it’s fair

plus it doesn’t mess with their schedules

usually unless a big award show is coming up but that can be re-planned in advance as well

you know... things can develop in their own timing with each member

it’d be awkward to expect everyone to be on the same stage at once

baekhyun is comfortable with all kinds of back hugs while taeyong and taemin are still completely flustered and turn all wobbly at just a greeting wave

you know what i mean

it’s already clear everyone loves you very differently 

some members are more straightforward, others take it slow, it’s just a normal thing

that’s when the group chat is born

it’s still very sfw 

compared to how explicit it’ll be in the future ahem

and everyone is overcautious with writing something except baekhyun, the eternal extrovert

for now you keep each other updated on how it’s all going with trivial details

earlier you just had individual chats and baekhyun arranged the group meetings since he knows the schedule best

now it’s all in one spot so that works

everyone’s curiosity is quenched at least a little bit

and they see each other anyway and put their heads together

baekhyun will be the most open about how far your skinship slowly develops followed by lucas and kai who oggle each other in their usual tom and jerry manner

which you have an eye on

you tell the members something very important for when they’re envious

or feel the need to one-up or catch up

it’s the sign to get closer to you and that they’re ready for taking another step. that’s literally what jealousy is all about

that advice helps them out a lot actually

kai takes that to heart in particular because he knows he’s prone and feels bad about it

and they also learn from ten who carries a quiet happiness with confidence that doesn’t need comparison, but he can also talk very honestly about how he’s standing with you to the point

ten knows how it’s done

as expected of such a competent man

like he’s kissed your hands very lightly but he doesn’t feel the need to show it off all day

and he also leads by example together with taemin and taeyong how one can give compliments even when not being involved in something 

“you’re looking adorable together“ as taemin would often say about you hanging out with kai or baekhyun

a lot of praise culture is developing in the group chat

you like to see it 

and now for the other elephant in the room

as for who will ask you to sleep with him first

(and mind you at this point they’re all walking around with condoms in their backpacks and jackets)

believe it or not

after the finishing touches on his latest mixtape (oh yes), and those tracks have you feeling some kind of way oh shit, mark gathers all his courage

yes it’s mark lee 

literally he steps into the blaze of bravery of jongin when he first put on a crop top

and gets out a little “can we... some time... you know...” after you’re having some pretzel sticks together and awkwardly sitting around

oh what's gonna happen next huh?

you say you’ve been thinking about it a lot

that he has a great body doesn’t go unseen

and tell him how you imagine it with him

long story short you’ll have your first quickie in the sound booth that night

cutting straight to the chase

him steadily penetrating you from behind, you leaning closely with your back to his chest

just standing and enjoying the rhythm

that dick. is amazing.

oh god, mark lee

long, curved, smooth, a classic

meanwhile your fave rapper is definitely going through it

his arms tell you everything

that’s an embrace for the books

he’s hugging you like his life depends on it

you can just take in how he’s been showering twice today this guy is clean as fuck he smells so good

getting off from shampoo and fabric softener is not what you expected but it definitely makes you clench

you both know he’s not gonna last for more than six minutes and that’s ok

that’s a lot of long-held frustration released into that condom

and a lot of passion put into how he puts his guitar fingers to work on your clit afterwards

jimi ‘lee’ hendrix has arrived

oh yeah mark, you fucking treat, fuck it up

that way you won’t last long either since you guide his finger tips to your favorite spot and the motherfucker completely goes for it

“like this, like, um?”

and he goes off with the wrist

oh shit

it’s all kept so short and simple and you’re on the oldest mustard-colored studio couch that ever existed but mark lee is mark fucking lee nothing can obstruct his quality

like this guy has some serious skills with the angles

that orgasm is gonna get some moans you didn’t know you were capable of out of you

never wasting time, that guy is he

mark definitely fucks like he raps. fast and good

you cool down together looking each other in the eyes, forehead to forehead, for like fifteen minutes, and you give each other little chaste kisses all over your faces and he melts every time

your little rendezvous was definitely so needed 

you ask if you can bring some vibes to play around with and a watermelon next time

you don’t have to ask twice

mark is so damn happy

and the timing was right

straightforward and spontaneous. that definitely works well with mark

no complaints, you go home feeling comfortably refreshed. you’ve told him he could tell the others or wait to do it, this is up to his comfort because he is shy

neither happens

after just one glance at him the next day while the group is doing a photoshoot

baekhyun already knows mark slept with you 

he just knows

and makes a loud “ohh wow, you did it” noise

ten takes two only glances to understand what’s going on too

mark nods and the whole group is highstrung for the entire day

like a hive of bees oh yes

kai is massively proud of raising mark so well but also really surprised

unlike taemin who calmly advised mark on many things in advance

guess where mark’s fingering skills originate from

he took some secret pointers from the king 

taeyong is shook at his rap buddy’s singleminded grit to just spontaneously ask you

while baekhyun...

is keeping it together repeating the anti-jealousy mantra you gave him in his mind

“jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer....“

it makes him realize oh god he really wants to be inside of you badly as well

you ain’t dumb, you see his change of tone from cute to sexy in the group chat even if he might not notice

baekhyun is trying extra hard to make you react to him

he posts so many cute selfies with kissy faces

needless to say taeyong’s time slot gets postponed to next thursday while you visit baekhyun this evening

it works for taeyong because he still needs to think some things through

the news overwhelmed him a little and he is shy about meeting up but that’s not a problem for you

and it’s better to get together with your mochi sooner because you both know there’s a lot of banging to do

like seriously

your mood tells you that candy’s on the menu today

oh yeah. it’s time to be all over your clingy lil’ honey bunny 

there’s not much endless wooing involved it goes to the point very fast after you arrive at his home

you just wanna stop pretending and fuck like animals and see his brain melt from it

remember how baekhyun once said he doesn’t fancy nice girls

that’s what he meant by that

mattress earthquake

he wants you fully riled up with arousal and addicted to touching and grabbing him

yeah baekhyun gets off on your desire

that’s not hard to accomplish when he makes big puppy eyes and puts his tongue on your neck

with that gomez addams shit... kissing up your arm and then popping off as soon as he gets there

congrats morticia

here is a man who can handle ya

he’s being so slobbery and moany about it that it knocks the breath out of you 

that shit is so good

baekhyun is not just a pro at giving head my friend it’s also giving neck

and unlike mark, may god have mercy on you, baekhyun keeps on going and going and kissing and kissing and he wants to lick up all of you so bad 

we know how needy and stamina-heavy this fella is

baekhyun is super m’s most insatiable member by fucking far

he’s like just give it to me and you’re like ok here we go

this guy is burning up oh god

that’s an evening of ten thousand positions, fearless cumplay, and a lot of face-sitting

super m’s most unleashed tongue right here

thank god you worked on your fitness with xuxi otherwise you couldn’t do this

he’s moaning in some harmonic scales or something it’s a whole concert

baekhyun is fully at it with you in every room of his flat with his whole neck and underarms looking mighty veiny

yeah he even carries you around to make it short and simple he’s one impatient bun

he can lift up sehun bridal style so no worries

mochi is smol and thin but he won’t drop you i promise

he’s fueled by horny boyfriend hormones and wants to give you the greatest night of all nights

and hit all the amazing spots

baekhyun aims to make your pussy lips throb and fall completely in love with him

and the bridge of his nose if you get what i’m saying

he’s also versatile in his clothing choices

if you say keep your nerdy glasses on, oh yeah they stay on

just a little challenge to see if you can ride him hard enough to see them fall off

and that dick is not some extra long lasso mark lee calibre

so he can really bend it more and thrust with ease at many angles

talking about mark

he regrets not asking you earlier but you tell baekhyun that this way was much better because you unceremoniously skipped to the fucking instead of messing around

if it wasn’t for mark’s courage to break the ice even with a choppy sentence 

you’d still be awkwardly looking each other in the eyes while munching pizza

all hail mark lee nervous legend

this way, baekhyun goes all out with fewer restraint and the burden of being first with making the impression that comes with it

we all know he’s too self-conscious for his own mochi good so that’s a better way to start out

this way baekhyun will have sex with you until he’s passed out on his bed

knocking him out like that might as well become your favorite hobby

even minutes after your tongue still feels like it’s knotted together with his honestly, the muscle memory is kicking in

and this must be the most dick thrusts you’ve ever gotten in one night

baekhyun really wants to be all inside you, make you feel him

if the condom broke at least his baby will be easy to identify from day one

it’ll come out and belt a perfect G#5

he gave it all my god you stopped counting the times you came your pussy is just dripping wet it feels crazy

and his voice has become all raspy i—

that was baekhyun’s hardest vocal run yet i swear

the contraception shelf in the convenience store next to his house is close to empty

but there’s no need to buy more

what you two perverts have been up to is enough for comfortably going through 10 years of celibacy

baekhyun is content and sleeps like a baby

you hold your bun for like two hours afterwards and never want to let him go

you are as wobbly as taeyong after getting a head pat from you

and the most well-kissed girl in this city tonight

both sets of lips

what a smoochy boyfriend

you even get the chance to jerk baekhyun off in his half-sleep after he wakes up and asks you to put your hand in his pants

guess who opens his mouth very wide to lick his own semen off your fingers with some really obscene noises

it’s his royal nastiness byun baekhyun 

who sucks your tiddies to drift back into sleep again

with his hands in your pants

god bless this man

the group chat is sending 👀 emojis all the way throughout the night

your boys know love is in the air

they’re loosening up the timing is right again

you send cute smiling emojis 

a bunch of “ahs” and “ohs” come through via voicemail

and lucas even writes: “so who’s next? 😳”

damn

you reply boldly: “the one asking that”

the group chat becomes a buzzing beehive again

from which you extract that kai is also very interested while ten, taeyong and taemin prefer waiting a little more

but this time you don’t switch time slots since you’ll meet xuxi on monday already 

kai wants to set up something nice and prepare the catering and whatnot (alright you rich man)

so it’s gonna be wednesday as usual with him

so far so good that’s the plan

sunday being taemin day, you get together to read and paint and listen to music

you feel like just doing some sensual kissing with him and taemin is very down

yeah baby he is the kissing king, taemin is hot stuff, he knows exactly what he’s doing, those lips are the pillows at the gates of heaven

losing your mind is a staple when you do that with him

just making out on the couch surrounded by the nicest arrangement of pot plants you’ve ever seen while it rains completely relaxes you and the serotonin is off the charts

he holds you so gently and tastes so good

what is it, rose water or something like that

he even put on his coziest sweater so you’ll love leaning against him

TL;DR taemin is the biggest fucking romantic in the history of SM

that was so seductive you’ll be dreaming about it

applause for lee taemin please

perfect contrasting programme: just hours later

yeah here it goes now

monday starts with xuxi stripping more than he usually does 

at the makeshift gym in his room while he’s on the treadmill

with his hair freshly dyed the most himbo shade of blonde ever

and yeah that’s blonde with an e because yukhei is too sexy to be called a blond. what an ugly word to look at

he’s a blondé

so that’s nice

he’s so dtf you just skip the workout 

time for lubed condoms.

i don’t have to tell you that you literally jump on him 

or that you’ll be dealing with super m’s singlemost biggest equipment

he doesn’t even have to drive it home an inch by himself you’re already riding him

he can’t handle all that gear in the first place

because how do you even develop a technique with such an unrealistic dick

hell how do you even exist like that

so it’s clear who’s taking the lead

all he has to do is work that body but it sort of happens on its own

himbo autopilot

you are going hard and chaotic on this man

xuxi doesn’t even know what hit him

he’s so vocal and excited 

you fuck him while he holds you up, get down on several gym benches, have him bend you forward at the bathroom sink... 

...and you attend business in ten’s room on a desk and window sill

because it’s the most silent there and doesn’t disturb xiaojun’s beauty sleep

ten has discreetly ushered you there and preoccupies himself in the kitchen with the cats

he knows how the game is played

either floor ‘em all or always watch out for others

MVP

but you are secretly wondering what ten is plotting because he has some serious self-control and observation skills

given how tidy his room is... whatever his plans are you can look forward to it

xuxi is definitely suffering from your heavy duty cock destruction in the meantime while being in heaven at the same time

that dick is worn out and dripping 

so much bouncing is even gonna make the biggest boy lose it

milking that orgasm out of him is gonna be so gratifying yum

the deep and defeated moans, my god he really surrenders to the pleasure

wow that was almost as to-the-point as studio sex with mark

no idle talk in nct huh

you clean each other all exhausted and then gobble up three bowls of noodles each

then sleep for two hours in each other’s arms

then do a second round because this guy is really getting you going and yukhei wants to live this monday to the fullest

like this man gives you previously unknown levels of energy

must be the blonde hair. it does sexy things when yukhei is twitching

this time it’s a dick blowing festival

oh yeah

the type where you’re so sloppy with your head bops, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands and needs to think emergency thoughts

oh yeah big dicks make for some nice slurpy noises that sound really plump you know what i mean

he’s gonna realize very soon you do this shit for your own entertainment

and get all kinds of squeaks and faces out of him

only little pauses help him keep up the stamina so he asks you to pull off for a bit every two minutes or so

he has to look elsewhere and distract his mind with thinking about washing the dishes

girl... your tongue has this man sweating major bullets

you’re big on the corruption kink are you

once again 

xuxi is gonna be so shaken and pass the fuck out from cumming

and he thought he was a horny guy

his soul must have left his body and that scalp is probably dead

but bleaching was worth it (he looks like a sleeping angel now)

not to mention banging all over the wayv dorm

ten got a preview of what’s expecting him

not that he doesn’t know he reads you well

lucas promises to return the oral favor next monday and finally collapses entirely in the living room wearing only boxers

nothing new for wayv, great sight for you

not a single workout routine has exhausted xuxi this much

he needs 10 hours of sleep to reboot

“she’s so wild 😲😂😍” is gonna be what he’ll summarize it as in the group chat later

first big boy taken down

the second one follows

wednesday is right around the corner 

oh yes

kai definitely goes off with the preparation you are not ready for this spectacle

he redecorated his entire kitchen and bathroom to perfection with flowers, lanterns, dim light, petals, expensive fabrics draped from the ceiling, and there’s a great view on night time seoul

you can tell he’s best friends with taemin

i mean they’re the greatest entertainers of their time of course their taste is great

always going the extra mile

the black, sheer shirt with a deep cleavage that kai put on is nothing short of a treat

is that a lace choker he’s wearing

and his hair is pushed back lord have mercy

you get pretty weak in the knees at that

the catering leaves nothing to be desired either. a full 3-course sicily-style italian meal with 100% organic ingredients and beautiful basil and thyme garnishings

to set the mood afterwards jongin does what he does best

don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming

just a chair for you, some music, and him

is this like a whole damn private concert?

he has prepared an entire setlist to thrill you with selected styles of dance

even a rendition of salsa, swing, and tango argentino

i’m telling you...

if kim jongin moves his body for you like that you’ll be fucking hooked and honored and not believe your eyes

what a feast

prepare for a serious case of dropped jaw

and jongin being an absolute daredevil dancing incrementally close to your chair

he incorporates all these little moments of skinship

where he strokes your hair, your jaw, or takes your hands

while at the same time he’s completely destroying it on the dancefloor

with those scorching hips and how he works it on the carpet right in front of you

you’re about to fucking melt

what a time to be alive

the sheer shirt’s buttons are holding onto dear life as do his pants

kai’s movements are becoming extremely ecstatic

what a fucking lapdance 2.0

men have clearly evolved otherwise this wouldn’t be happening

kai dances like a king on a stage but jongin? is god-like when he dances with just one person as the audience

shiit

and because he’s very nervous

he work particularly hard to ace it

in his mind he’s already underneath you judging by how he’s moving

...you can definitely fancy a luscious private concert each wednesday

and for designated activities in the bathroom

he even made a whole 5-hour playlist of the finest songs

so he can make you grind on top of him

don’t tell me kai isn’t the master of courting

king of effort

i don’t have to tell you that this is gonna be the most sensual night you’ve ever had

kai will get to know your body very, very well

those hips never stop do they

the fact that thursday is baekhyun day right after this?

wow aren’t you exhausted

the orgasms just seamlessly continue huh

everything goes on like that 

friday you have a toy-filled, passionate evening at the studio with mark who’s doing the most 

let’s say mark just has good ‘vibes’ indeed

this almost gets as messy as your first time with lucas

have fun cleaning up that couch, canada

what a sex marathon

if you don’t have your period

there’s always a lot of action going on 

or actually. you do catch a break for the weekend

saturday you bake delicious, pistacio and pecan-crusted sticky buns with taeyong 

who also shows you the new fledgelings that have hatched in his apartment

so adorable

sunday you endlessly make out with taemin in the sheets who has of course heard of jongin putting on a show

so he dances for you as well and even does the hands-tied criminal choreo in an especially luscious rendition (aka extra heavy breathing and grinding on the floor, and doing splits that almost rip his pants)

oh yes my love

nothing really happens afterwards you just have dinner completely flustered

if lee taemin dances, sex becomes redundant and doesn’t compare anymore

but really now

the slow burn is unbearable with him for fuck’s sake

taemin knows how to work up the seduction bit by bit

you basically masturbate all evening after returning to your house

god. what to do with this guy

on monday you ravage yukhei’s dick and get all that head 

xuxi is a chaotic fella but he keeps his promises

plus you get the best full-body massage of your life

and for the first time pull out your phone to basically livestream yourself riding him

so the whole chat can watch for five minutes

yep. you learned that courage thing from mark lee

the camera work is obviously subpar but the video definitely has maximum effect

kai and baekhyun stream their reaction right alongside your broadcast

“woah woah oh my god oh my god!!”

everyone’s freaking out, everyone stops whatever they’re doing, everyone is glued to their screens, they love your body moving

you’re having a blast 

especially when you stream another round an hour later and lucas holds the camera now

his arm is perfect for that by the way

strong and stable and high up in the air

so you can do your thing on that fat dick with a bonus of the sexiest xuxi moans ever

that deep but soft tone... yukhei really got a perfect groaning voice huh

after getting steamy for almost ten minutes, you get some great close-ups of your pussy after having yukhei pull out mid-romp

because that gape is for the gods

don’t kid yourself with a dick like that inside you’ll be opening a little wider

it looks and feels even better with lucas tracing his long fingers inside of it

with the closeup zooming in even more while he’s putting his thumb on your clit 

mmh that’s good stuff

six very shaky boys are sitting in front of their phones right now being able to look um very deeply inside of you

baekhyun is basically frozen to a statue on the reaction stream and salivates nonstop it’s just running down his neck at this point

his wettest dreams are right in front of him

stretched out pussy all juicy and swollen? baekhyun’s lifeblood. he’s seeing god 

he turns up the brightness of his phone to maximum so he can see every little detail 

remember. this guy loves to be inside of you so obsessively he wants to pay rent to live in there

so he’s appreciating an HD view of his favorite place, really deep and really pulsing and really soaked

yukhei has slathered you in lube and really pushed apart your muscles very gently, no abrasion, you relaxed so nicely around him

it’s feeling good as fuck

kai who’s watching right next to baekhyun just stares with big eyes

every injury he ever got while dancing is suddenly healed 

he’s a new man his spine has put itself together his legs are reborn

taeyong almost falls off his chair when he tunes in

he’s that bewildered

he just types a big WOW and a wall of blushing emojis

the explicit songs he’s been listening to and whatever he’s been rapping about recently are nothing in comparison to this

finally someone climbed up to taeyong’s level of nastiness

and he thought he’d never find someone on eye level

secretly he loves the nice view but he won’t admit how much

meanwhile he will rewatch this over and over for the whole week at least five times a day

and then there’s taemin

| adorable 😊🤗🎀 6v6

| can you put the camera a bit closer again 👉👈

| and turn on the flash if that’s ok 😳

| ah thank you 💟

i don’t know what taemin has seen or heard or experienced in his life and what made him this way but damn he loves that graphic shit

turning on the flash makes even yukhei’s jaw drop and rub your clit even faster

he’s damn proud he could make your pussy open up to him this way as he should be 

cuz he’s really been improving his Big Cock Techniques (BCT)

mark doesn’t write anything but he’s online and streaming so yeah he’s jerking off

with two hands

baekhyun is typing how much he loves the wet sounds and how great the fingering action is

and he’s damn right. telepathy 

that’s your favorite pervert right there yeehaw

in the meantime yukhei’s brain is empty he’s just smiling bright and enjoying the moment and the attention and your body

ten is basically next door because this is the fucking wayv dorm 

you can hear him choke on his coffee and whisper ‘oh my fucking god, oh shit’ to himself

the phone almost topples into the sheets while lucas is putting all those rubs and circles into your clit but the audio is already telling the boys to watch very closely anyway because here it comes

taeyong is probably falling apart by now given how he’s posting a couple fragmented sentences that you try to decipher on yukhei’s phone

until you get close and take up filming yourself again 

so yukhei can make a video with his own phone as well

yep that’s two cameras on you by now not just one

xuxi’s been such a steadfast babe 

and he gets to see the fruits of his work. for one, just how much of an imprint he left with his cock inside you 

and second how hard he can make you cum now

those big fingers are magic on you

taemin gets all the closeups he ever needed from your camera because you hit the zoom even more

yukhei starts kissing you twice

not as carefully as he often would

it’s the really wet and passionate version this time

he films your lower faces as good as he can

those big fucking lips 

they never fail to make you get the hots

they’re really made to do all this are they

his tongue nips into you with extra saliva on board

you suck it into your own mouth and mix it with yours, and gather some more

and slip your tongue above his in return

yukhei makes sure you can hear him swallowing all that warm runny spit and moans into your mouth

guess who just blew one big juicy load into the condom

and he’s not even inside of you

jesus christ yukhei

looks like french kissing is his orgasm button 

you start sucking on his tongue when it slides back between your lips and you make them really tight and puckering

the noise is so delicious

yukhei shoots the rest of his semen into the condom

you go even harder on him, the kiss gets really deep

kai and baekhyun are literally jumping up and down on their beds by now

taemin and mark are sending star-eyed emojis

ten is definitely beating the meat next door

yukhei’s hand is massaging incessantly between your legs

he makes you feel. so. good.

when he retreats from the kiss you’re ready

you can hardly keep the phone stable in your palm

yukhei also points his camera back at your pussy again

and makes sure to catch every contraction

you know an orgasm is good when you’re going all “oh... ohh...”

even taeyong goes online to stream his reaction because you cum so beautifully

he’s actually crying and can’t close his mouth he can’t believe what he’s seeing

your pussy lips are so sloppy and stretched apart and twitching and you make sure the camera catches every bit

it takes almost half a minute until your muscles calm

you tell yukhei to clean it up with those plump lips of his

baekhyun and taemin are violently agreeing with thousands of “YESS EAT UP!!!” and “yes!! 😊♥︎🌹” text bubbles in the chat

your guys are so cute do you realize that

in order to have both hands free, lucas ends his video, puts his phone aside, and is already licking you up like a whole bowl of whipped cream

you keep on streaming on your own phone and brush the hair out of his face

the best part is catching yukhei’s tongue winding between your lips and then spoiling your pussy with big kisses very very slowly as not to overstimulate you

he’s such a fast learner he’s doing it really well

once you’re satisfied and cool off, you stroke the back of his neck and his favorite boyfriend duties are officially on pause

so he can go to pull off the condom and clean himself up, and get ready for bed after a quick mini snack

while you blow kisses into the camera, flirt with all your babes while they flirt back and even bow to you

and film your pussy all swollen and licked up but slowly closing a little bit again, ever so slightly

ten sends two little black hearts and a little “that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen thank you 😽”

you make sure taemin gets an extra close view of your clit and taeyong is making high-pitched squealing noises in his reaction video stream

mark goes like “yea that’s the spot!”

kai has joined baekhyun with the mouth and saliva action, they’re both licking their lips all over the place and make lewd lusty faces

they’re literally sucking and eyefucking your pussy through the camera bitch they want it so goddamn bad

oh to have their mouths on you right now to come down from your high and chill

you tell everyone how much you miss them and how badly you want them to be here

and how you want to feel all of them all over, on your skin and inside you

the chat is full of yearning and horny crying emojis now

yukhei helps you clean up the rest while you text how it felt with mark and baekhyun because they wanna know more

you talk about how yukhei’s girth is always rubbing that one spot inside and his breathing changes when it does

and you say you really loved their reactions

the members promise to be careful and discrete when they re-watch the stream and ten also says that if you don’t want it to stay in the chat some day you should never hesitate to delete it

you say no problem boys you should know me inside out, just remember to use head-phones when yukhei starts slurping at the 01:27 min mark

taeyong and mark are losing it at your puns

then you have a glass of water taller than yukhei’s dick and basically dance to the bathroom

lucas talks to the boys with his big ole smile in his pyjamas while you’re busy

oh god he is so shy

but very very blissed out. it really takes only two things to make this man happy. big plates, twitchy pussy.

a truly simple man. you like that

kai is definitely evolving from his teasing yukhei agenda in the meantime

he is sending thumbs up emojis instead of raised eyebrow ones

you lay down in xuxi’s big embrace and say goodnight to your boys

yukhei buries his nose in your hair, and kisses you on the forehead so innocently, taeyong melts in his little video square on screen

taemin is a big fan as well

he’s living true to his “explicit shit and romance” life motto isn’t he

you ask if everyone was enjoying themselves

big positive reactions all over the chat

you coo how you adore them all so much and want more of things like this where everyone is involved

eight people are going to bed very happy today

yukhei waves and baekhyun goes offline as well, as does taeyong who’s beaming

end stream

it was a masterpiece

that mark needs to recover from the very most, his entire bed is full of used tissues

and basically

over the next few hours the chat is losing their minds over and over again

everyone can’t stop gushing and telling you what their favorite part was

kai says how turned on you were was making him hard all night

ten enjoyed the wild kissing part and how wet everything was

naughty boy taemin keeps on talking about how — i quote — your insides are the best ever!! while sending flower emojis

your stream has unleashed a gigaton of sexual energy

and that basically goes on and on

until tuesday arrives

oof 

today’s the day

you know that ten is up to something 

except the little hearts and kiss comment

he hasn’t written much in the chat

oh shit oh shit what is he planning

he truly is a pisces

you know that some epic stuff is about to go down since the cats are with yangyang 

and — what

there’s a large canvas in his room with a piece of cloth to cover it

lord have mercy

he’s bringing the big guns

ten will even hold a little speech on how he got inspiration two weeks ago

only to proceed to unveil the art very shyly

it’s an elaborate pencil drawing standing about as tall as him

immaculately sketched in a realistic way

have a guess what he’s been drawing

exactly right it’s an erotic depiction of you

laying on your back, thighs spread, head thrown back

and to make it mysterious you see more of the legs rather than the crotch area

so whatever or who is giving you pleasure is entirely up to you to imagine to your liking

it’s more about how the person he drew feels lust rather than the onlooker. he drew this for your own enjoyment

he did that very cleverly and classily 

this canvas will be your utmost treasure and get such an intimate spot in your home

it doesn’t take very long until you’re mounting him and get those hips moving in a circle

ten is just full of surprises

you ask if you can photograph the drawing and upload it to the chat

ten is like ohhh!

but why not, now that he thinks about it. he secretly likes praise and visibility for his drawings so much

the post is definitely a success 

lots of exclamation marks and reaction memes for three hours straight

but who would’ve thought otherwise

ten is just massively talented, always on point

and hits the right nerve with his line of work

as your pussy can attest

yukhei is gonna tease in the chat that he heard you in the dorm and that it sounded mega hot wink wink wink

ten writes:

| my tongue hurts 

| let’s do it again next week

| i feel inspired to draw more as well

the chat explodes with hype for another two hours

multiple members come up with their own artistic takes on you

on wednesday kai presents a feral dance he choreographed for the whole morning. showing a representation of what you are to him and what he feels for you

very beautiful

on thursday baekhyun gifts you a deliberately humorous doodle titled mochi mama in the style of i dunno, probably picasso on crack

you have not seen anything like it

it’s gonna make you laugh in sad hours for many days to come

talk about come

baekhyun will have his hands busy in and on you all night

he wants to feel mama mochi and please you and make you smile

try not to climax challenge: failed several times

on friday mark blasts a song he wrote about you as soon as you put your hand bag down in the studio

100% of the lyrics are about how sexy and charming and special you are to him and how infatuated he is and how much he thinks about you all the time and how much you knock him off his feet, and how he has the biggest hots for you, jesus christ

that mark lee canada flow wants to make you fucking nut right then and there

the fandom just got his lit mixtape and he’s already working on another one i guess he sure has enough nsfw inspiration for it

all the more reasons to cum hard on his dick tonight

and make sweet love to that sexy body because mark lee isn’t the only one with the hots

then comes saturday

taeyong day

the tension is rising

you’re at his place

the sweet boo comes to put some chirping fledgelings into a towel on your lap as usual

there’s a big crispy lasagna baking in the oven, dripping with cheese and sauce with the most full-bodied herbal mix ever

damn tasty 

gordon ramsay would rate this particularly well on twitter

honestly man

we all know gordon ramsey would like taeyong’s dishes

the evening passes as it always does

so he didn’t jump on the bandwagon that’s interesting

it’s almost as if the stream didn’t happen or anything

just as you expected

taeyong doing his own thing and being just very consistent makes him so sexy and desirable to you it’s hard to explain

you just like his style of going about things you know

he’s very receptive to your impulses

you figure it’s up to you to make some steps

so when he opens the fridge to pull out a self-made, perfectly swirly vanilla-chocolate vortex pudding that’s just at the right temperature, you can’t help but hit on him like the world is ending 

but as you learned from taeyong’s example: your way

you ask him to open his mouth and maneuver spoon after spoon of pudding into it for him to deliciously savor it

giving him compliments on always making your day along with that

that bowl is empty very fast my loves

and taeyong very happy

oh yeah he was enjoying that

with his eyes closed

oh fuck

the sexual tension could rip the air in half like a mark verse

you decide to sit down on his lap all nonchalant and finish your own pudding... more than suggestively

taeyong is basically holding his breath at this point he’s a puddle

you tell him he can put his hands on your waist if he wants to

no answer needed his fingers are already on their way

you can hear how his heart is approaching a techno music BPM

at this point all you can do anymore is lean in to whisper if he likes to go to the bedroom with you

he can keep the apron on

taeyong tastes deliciously of pudding aye

you roll around in the sheets kissing so heavily

this is pure indulging you just feel how you’re sleeping with a chef

who happens to have the veiniest dick of all time

you’re definitely filled up well

sliding up and down on him deliciously for twenty minutes

really slowly and hugging each other tightly

and saying romantic things

that’s the good life

by the end of the evening the group chat gets a picture of taeyong’s world class lasagna 

and a ‘very random’ shaky picture of your hand in his hair

which baekhyun instantly comments as:

“now tyong knows how great you taste as well 🤓😁🤗“

yukhei agrees wholeheartedly and ten starts making baby don’t stop puns

kai is totally in love with the quality food 

baekhyun voices his interest in making more pictures of that kind with you. you know, hand in the hair, no big deal

kai says hurry up with it hyung, all the hair dye makes you balder every minute

baekhyun reprises his doodling and now draws a couple

it’s mama mochi with byun baldhyun

“this will be the next selca“

glorious

you’re having a damn good time

but later you feel something is going on

the whole week passes and taeyong seems to be brooding

next saturday he has a hard time expressing himself when he comes to your home 

you ask if he’s not comfortable having more sex or if he struggles with the relationship setup

taeyong says it’s not that but can’t explain any further

you go on a whim and ask if it’s a confession he has on his mind

bingo

“taeyong... if you think i’ll judge you for something. remember we’re only doing this since a couple weeks. it’s hard to know how the person really reacts if you don’t know each other inside out“

he is still hesitant

you ask him if it’s something taboo

“yeah...”

you thought so. taeyong is the least basic person you know along with taemin

guess why these two are saved for last my dear readers

you tell him that how he’s in his own lane is what you appreciate him for in the first place, it’s why you’re here with him, you love your duckling chef so much

if he wants a different kind of sex that’s perfectly him

he looks relieved and understood hearing that

and confesses that yeah... he wants to go a little kinkier with you

now you know why taeyong was acting with so much restraint

and put all of his feelings and sensuality into food pretty much

in fact the kinky sex has already started whether you noticed or not

indirectly. as in, the dynamic

truth is he wants to be a service sub

oh yeah lemme introduce you to some new things

service subs like to really cater to their dominants and fulfill their every wish not just in bed, but around the house as well

and there’s even more to it as you will soon discover talking to him about it

an apron is only the start

in case you have been living under a rock

taeyong’s duality is nuts 

he’s a completely shy mega pervert

it’s not a secret that this guy wants hardcore bdsm torture sex

you letting all that aggression loose on him for fucking sport

and being cold to him

with a bit of soft domme action as the perfect balance 

yep 

he wants you to take him out and take care of him at the same time

he’s perfectly aware he’s among the freakier and more deprived members

even ten is just casually freaky and just open for a lot of things. taeyong is deliberate

and pretty deep in the femdom community as far as his browser history is concerned

we all know assertive partners are his thing

but he’s afraid he’ll get you into something that’s a lot of responsibility

you say mister i’m familiar with your interests 

my dear you never made them hard to guess

you tell him it’s no problem for you to give it to him raw

you’ll be doing disgusting things to him that sexy face will straight up drown 

did you know?

our dear boy taeyong loves it when you spit in his mouth and do virgin roleplay

if he asks you to break him don’t be surprised

he wants to release control completely

he goes by all the rules

and i guarantee. when he comes along your dominatrix mood is gonna skyrocket he just brings that shit out in people

his mere naked body is just... how not to go nuts on him how he wants it

long story short tied up taeyong head to toe ends up immortalized as a vertical photograph

the group chat is overwhelming your notifs with wide-eyed emojis and all caps

amping up the game a little more each day are we

without even trying. hell, this just happened

where this is going is gonna be fun

sunday goes down with you grinding yourself all over taemin but you’re both clothed

you grab the back of his neck to lean in for kisses over and over and over

yes kisses are key

if not the favorite thing he does

let this sink in. if taemin overwhelms a little kitty with a hundred thousand smooches, just how kissy is this guy gonna be 

and have fun teasing his erection through his pants

lee taemin a squirmy mess? hell yeah

in classic fashion he will spend the most time of the evening on his knees getting slapped around in several blindfolds, harnesses, and wrist ties

his fantasy finally came true

i repeat what taemin has been dreaming of is reality

thank god for taeyong having you second guess his private tastes. otherwise you would not be on your dom grind now

taemin even goes as far as ordering lingerie for your encounters — to wear himself because he’s taemin

satin and silk blouses he already has in his wardrobe so there’s no shortage

i don’t have to tell you that you can spend hours grinding on his cock in a room full of candles while taemin is in head-to-toe bondage

that’s his idea of a good time and hell you are really treated to perfect eye candy, taemin’s hotness will bring your pleasure to a new level

the group chat will definitely love your photography taken from your sessions

taemin is just an utter no-compromise kinda man to make kinky love with. everything is planned he’s never settling for less than a perfect evening

where both of you really experience the ultimate satisfaction from treating your bodies to the best of clothes and toys and scenarios

give me an amen for taemin being your sunday guy because this legend of a man is your personal church

and his discography is the bible

and cum play is the baptizing my friend

so yeah huh

every day you can look forward to. monday to sunday

and not a day goes by without someone in the chat reminiscing the steamy video you did with lucas

you end up repeating what you wished that day

for everyone to be with you

so you could feel all of them 

and you say maybe it’s time to arrange something 

you’ve gotten to know each of them personally and intimately by now

and integrated them into your personal life

hell when you wake up the first thing you see is ten’s drawing across your bed

or baekhyun’s funny mama mochi art on your phone background

and you start your day literally selecting from a pile of taeyong’s freshly washed and ironed clothing stacks in your wardrobe

sitting at your breakfast table with a bouquet of flowers that kai and jongin brought you

eating food you bought together with lucas

listening to music that mark made especially for you

they’re all in your life together so it’s the right time to make some heated love together

the chat is all down you don’t even have to ask any further

baekhyun volunteers to go about his leader duty to organize the best possible venue and best possible date

cause with superm things do go 100

he asks what kind of atmosphere you have in mind

you say hard and nasty and kinky

which will definitely make the chat interested

and baekhyun was about to rent a huge modern art penthouse in gangnam

you say no need to go that expensive. you just need a large bed, no paparazzi, and an area where you can be loud. sculptures you could care less about

you have yukhei on your team, so that’s a living sculpture already 

it needs a safe haven essentially, with a dark and lusty atmosphere would be so nice

ten steps in saying he has the exact spot you’re looking for 

he has a friend who runs a declining night club in the suburbs, with some pretty attractive and grungy backrooms with plenty of space to fuck

yeah a club is exactly what you’re looking for that’s a good idea

it’s closed on monday so baekhyun and ten arrange a rental just then

of course way in the evening

with the guarantee of nobody else around

baekhyun knows how this rigged game rolls he says they need the club to perform a dance practice, overnight stay, and shooting a music video

which is only a half-lie

not “hey we are super m planning an orgy wanna invite dispatch and tell lee soo man”

regardless ten’s friend is pretty chill and indifferent anyways

and baekhyun’s money is doing the talk

you’ll be guaranteed to be left by yourself

monday evening it is. 

you already have a whole bunch of fantasies to let loose on your boys

and put it all in the chat

yo it’s called brainstorming and it sure has brain in it

you discuss

and it goes down next week 

you encouraged the members to wear what they feel best in, no dress code, no comparison thinking. you want to meet them like you got to know them, each in their favorite expression

taeyong dons a mass onslaught of fetish gear underneath a trench coat, including a fancy collar, lots of hairspray

and latex gloves. shit he’s a freak

baekhyun puts on the coziest clothes he finds and his smol sneakers but they are secretly expensive, his hair is curly and big, he put on a nice scent

kai can’t help but go black suit and lace underneath, you know him

bleach blonde yukhei gets out the tight white tee and smug jeans

creative genius ten goes all out designing his own fashion (!) with paint, he puts on sexy af glasses and goes for his signature ‘cleavage down to the belly’ look underneath a bomber jacket

mark goes for a casual suit but make it swag, with a sleeveless top underneath, yeah those mark arms go crazy 

taemin — picks his most dazzling silver outfit that looks like a rendition of mermaid scales, pointed shoes, princely hair, famous i’m so fabulous

and it’s already starting out sexy in the car before you even arrive 

because this is all gonna be glorious from the first second to the last

baekhyun and kai will do the driving

you have not one but two classy and sexy chauffeurs you hear me

yeah in their shiny black german cars with those sleek comfortable seats

baekhyun, taeyong, ten and lucas are a team

and then you get kai, mark, and taemin, including your group luggage because such a trip needs a lot of things to pack trust me

you’re with team kai on the way to the club and with team baekhyun the way back 

it’s already lit and steamy on your way there

nothing better than getting in the mood held by the greek god arms of none other than lee taemin with mark lee assisting

you’re entirely wrapped up in kissing taemin so passionately, his tongue melts into your mouth like the finest chocolate

thinking about how you were making out last week gets you going even more

as does feeling up his bulge, ugh taemin is so sensual

mark sitting on your other side being eager to attend to your thighs, your waist, your back, your hands, your hair, your stomach

yep

yukhei has been telling him about the wonders of a whole-body massage since you like it so much

mark gets his hands all over you to provide a sexy caress and wow he’s doing it well, giving everything the perfect kind of attention, always asking if you want more of this or more of that

mark loves everything about you and he knows how to make your anticipation become even more intense by dedicating time to all areas generously

you feel like he’s worshipping you head to toe

it’s the way to get turned on

mark has great soft hands and knows your best spots by now

that’s exactly why it was a good idea to sleep with the members individually at first

you could figure it all out in detail and each member could show their style of doing things, and you could teach them

mark has become an expert in skinship

while he’s kissing into your neck whispering revering things to you nobody else would understand

they’re intimate, spicy details from your studio lessons

with a romantic twist even because mark is giving you his entire arsenal, the entire palette

“i’ve been thinking about you so often...”

with jongin driving carefully and taking the lesser frequented roads 

kai is really keeping it together

the maknae backseat party is faithfully photographed by mark who sends it to the other team after taemin and you select the best shots, giggling

your favorite is a bird’s view of your cleavage with taemin kissing right between your breasts, slightly below the sternum

his hair is softly splayed over the area

taeyong and ten reply with heart eyes in the chat

on you go kissing and touching

taemin is so gentle with you and easily accepts your wild licks and bites, leans his head back so you have perfect access to his neck

by the time you arrive at the club’s back entrance, he’s marked up and his lips are mighty used

ruined neck, ruined mouth

taemin’s favorite two accessories to walk into a club with 

including a hard-on

with mark and kai strutting right after, chewing mints

...both getting hard themselves because mark loves your body and jongin has very good ears when it comes to picking up things that happen in the back of his car

and this bitch got a raging libido, so

the best part is everything is prepared

the other team already parked their car there earlier

ten had the keys to every needed lock, showed everyone around, and then baekhyun went into organization overdrive

this is the first time he didn’t clown around to distract from work since debut

if baekhyun ever means serious business... wow

your best boy taeyong has located the perfect backroom that’s shaded inside and neon-lit from the outside

the window’s aren’t particularly low-sitting so that’s a privacy plus

there’s a huge white extra oversized bed with some more great furniture and a sofa landscape

he desinfected everything to a T

and pulled out every utensil you might need from a large black bag

he walked in like he just commited a bank robbery but in reality there’s cutesy pink rope in the bag

oh well

classic taeyong

yukhei sorted and handed out the condoms plus water bottles for everyone

he’s the expert for the basics don’t come at him he’s doing a great job

after you reminding everyone of the safeword 

taemin sits down with you on the bed and you keep kissing

keeping up the flow right there

//

you beckon your lil’ adorable mochi who’s been dying for skinship

baekhyun is so turned on he wastes no time joining

still fully clothed while the other members are about to undress

you actually like baekhyun huddling up against you in his oversized hoodie it’s cute

so hey, change in plans

everyone ditches the protocol and climbs on the bed only without their shoes 

lot of ties and belts to pull them closer to you

you bring all of them together on the bed now

the feeling of having everyone around you is so electrifying, you have to distance from taemin’s seductive lips not to get some kind of adrenaline overdose

jesus this guy is trying to soak your pants like baekhyun forgot to turn off the shower

you get to enjoy five minutes of relaxed massaging from all sides to cool everything down a little

baekhyun and yukhei alternate with kissing you

yum

big plush lips plus a horny tongue

that’s a good combination

kai is definitely setting the pace of how to massage you, and how to move the body while doing so, and what expressions to make 

instead of sitting there awkwardly staring into space

remember? master of courting — that’s kim jongin

even baekhyun follows his example a bit

you’re entering cloud 9 from that whole-body massage

you can tell they’re all dancers. there’s rhythm involved

having the seven of them attend to you at the same time just hits different

that are 14 hands

70 fingers

all in sync with kai’s physical ideas, carefully yet purposefully kneading and stroking 

kai also helps everyone find a good area and makes sure everyone stays away from any precarious or sexy zones

because you’d probably get off from that in the matter of a blink

to be honest you’re already feeling heated you can’t help it

but that’s a good sign you’re definitely feeling this 

and there’s not a single limp dick in this room at this point already

baekhyun being the best people reader all over again manages a seamless transition to some water drinking

so everyone is ready to go

you wish you could do everything at once but decide to get a load of some slow body rolls against you because hell yeah

courting expert kai is sure to oblige, dance god taemin joins right in, and ten completes the holy trinity and hell does he go off

photographer mark on duty again. this moment has to be captured

baekhyun does his mood management magic and encourages ten and taemin to let out their little sounds more

kai he doesn’t have to tell

nor you because you’re already moaning

shit these guys are just too good

these bodies are machines

again bless your xuxi workout sessions

you wouldn’t keep up otherwise

you curse them because your pussy feels creamy way too early

switching to grinding on their bulges is not a better idea because it’s making you even hornier but anyway it’s your favorite activity

yukhei takes time and some effort to get fully hard so that’s a grateful job now

because you can gather yourself

you resort to using your cleavage to stop turning yourself on completely

and then your hands to palm his pants because that’s even more inconspicuous

group sex with superm? hardest early orgasm avoidance challenge EVER

is there some kind of legally accessible viagra for women

there’s no way you could turn yourself off help

you either get the first orgasm out of the way or keep it together to have some suspense in here and see the boys work hard

the decision is clear

time to bring out the toys that taeyong assembled on a table

baekhyun, taemin taeyong and ten are in the down to get tied up in various ways

lucas and kai get blindfolded and get a sexy task from you

slowly humping the mattress just for your viewing pleasure

topless for that matter

no need to ask twice there they go

photographer mark stays free and flexible. it’s always good to have someone outside bondage just in case with such a big group

anyway so you will be busy for sure

the rest of the boys strip down to only their briefs and get a good dose of spanking

ten is definitely moaning the loudest there

taeyong ends up with tied wrists in a prayer position and has his fun getting slapped around by you 

until he’s breathless and smiling to himself with his tongue hanging out

someone got his daily meal of smacking

taemin highly approves 

nobody’s surprised

baekhyun gets a quick and simple upper body rope harness that’s very easy to grip him by

and just to tease him you add some nipple pinches

result: loud baekhyun noises

cute as hell

so that’s how he’s been training himself to reach all those high notes

interesting

taemin, completely naked, has his hands and ankles tied, looking so beautiful all helpless and his cock itching for stimulation

and because taemin’s strange ‘artistic’ kidnapping fantasies that he never stops talking about cannot be ignored he gets a mouth gag for good measure

you know you just roll with their ideas

he’s a simple man that’s all he needs

you decide to put a bigger bondage piece on ten who ends up in a hogtie aka his new favorite place to be in

if there’s one guy who’s flexible like that it’s him

let’s see for how long he can take it

ten likes a challenge

you tell mark exactly what kind of pictures you want of your tied darlings and he’s well-engaged with that task

baekhyun is clinging to you a lot in the meantime

he gets kisses on the mouth 

and your open ear 

because you can tell there’s something on his mind

or rather

his ass is telling him something after you activated it with spanks huh

what does baekhyun want?

baekhyun wants the strap

and the strap he shall get

his time has come

this time the safeword won’t do so tapping yukhei’s thigh is the deal

taeyong’s kinky tool collection has a nice and thick equipment to offer, jet black black straps, jet black dildo, like it’s some kind of secret agent gear

it takes a lot of lube to get it into baekhyun’s tight and tiny ass but what’s new 

he’s not the gaping expert 

and way too busy laughing at the members’ reaction faces so his damn asshole is contracting god dammit

what a brat

next time he gets a toy for prep

only when you grab him by the harness and get into a rhythm, baekhyun throws it back

good boy

kai and xuxi are allowed to take off their blindfolds now because you have a task for them

taeyong’s toy collection features one extra long double-ended dildo, transparent and neither too slim nor too wide

if baekhyun doesn’t have that thing inside his throat i don’t know who

this shit is made for him

and you can tell he’s salivating for that

you tell yukhei to use those big hands to keep baekhyun’s head steady

and oh wonder, his long fingers enclose it perfectly

kai gets to go hard on baekhyun and fulfill his lifetime fantasy that he has had for over a decade now and jerks off to every night:

baekhyun not talking

so while baekhyun’s ass is getting properly stuffed

so is his mouth

kai has no qualms squeezing the toy into baekhyun’s throat a little more roughly

those are some pretty intense choking noises

mark steadily hits the snapshot button

some people go to pound town

baekhyun goes to silicon valley

kai is not afraid to push that thing as far as it can physically go

you’re pleased with how he’s doing it

and with baekhyun’s blowjob abilities anyway

is there a better throat in this industry? probably not 

he’s pretty surprised himself with how much he can take it

that poor ass is getting more than it can handle in the meantime, baekhyun is throbbing and whining

little did you know his prostate is so sensitive and makes his dick leak

such a shame you fully exploit that

you tell yukhei to have baekhyun move his head on his own to get into the rhythm

and get taeyong over to suck on the other end of the toy because oh yeah

let me just say these two are amazing

god bless sm entertainment 

not for any executive decisions

but for their uncanny ability to attract and assemble all the subs

lee taeyong giving head like the rent is due is a sight you need in your life

like everything, he does it roughly and properly

baekhyun is barely even sucking anymore just straight up gagging and seeing stars

because uh-oh here comes a big fat prostate orgasm

mark is clever enough to hit record on his phone

and capture a shaking baekhyun travelling through a whole bunch of universes, at least in his mind 

because that’s how strong his climax is

all he can say is thank you mama mochi and recover from this on his back

kai is satisfied with the result as well because baekhyun managed to not say anything for fifteen minutes

kai never had this much silence in his life

taeyong is still not done sucking the toy off and you let him

never step between a man and his favorite dildo

lucas takes up the task of untying ten who wants to share the other end that’s free now

and mark hands over the camera to kai who films just that

which also means mark is in the mood for you

about time to get some dick

and have taemin watch right next to you

being able to delight in mark’s wonderful technique

doggystyle

which ends up in kai joining 

which causes yukhei to join

and baekhyun to film 

the three are literally queueing while waiting for their turn

you tell them when to pull out and let the other member have you

until mark is riddled with so much suspension, the fifth thrust on his turn ends up in an unexpected hard climax

“oh my god oh my god!“

obviously kai will let loose now and cum as well, accompanied by really breathy groans

yukhei takes his time to make you moan which gives both taeyong and taemin a good show and an untouched orgasm

eventually you get to hear lucas growling his soul out

and kai bickering to pull out already

because it’s time for buffet

after getting rid of his condom, mark has been untying the very resilient ten who’s been in prawn bondage for like half an hour and five minutes now

respect

he and baekhyun team up to eat you out

yeah prepare for a dream team

while mark and kai chill on the other side of the bed

lucas on the other hand still doesn’t have enough and ends up licking your legs with his cock firmly palmed in those big hands

baekhyun and ten are doing the most meanwhile, lapping you up all sloppy

the job of the cameraman goes to a wild taemin who’s undone his safety hook 

he can’t stand this shit anymore he has to join the action instead of lying around in ropes

jeez the guy has the fun of his life playing with filters

silently giggling to himself

until kai finds out that taemin has been putting cat ears on ten and cowboy hats on lucas

kai confiscates the phone from naughty taem and decides to take up that task himself

so taemin can eat you out himself now

alright there are three heads bumping each other between your legs now

and yukhei close-by, currently nibbling at your outer thighs

can you imagine how crowded and crammed that is

you tell mark to get taeyong out of his ties as well

if you’re gonna cum he has to join the party as well

and he will not hesitate my friend

taeyong’s kinky tongue (which can make all kinds of completely unprecedented moves and slurping noises) riles up the other three to put all their effort into this

you order baekhyun and ten to line you left and right of your hips, fingering you from there

and let both taeyong and taemin get you to the point with their tongues at the same time

it’s a busy day innit

the reason is that baekhyun and ten didn’t come but you plan to change that with some dual handjob

baekhyun lets out some pretty hoarse panting noises

(yeah jongin destroyed him with that toy in his mouth for real)

once your hands grip onto their erections, almost automatically baekhyun’s fingers start going crazy on your clit and ten goes mad with his thumb right next to it

yeah he’s kept his rings on this is gonna be a sexy sight

mark and kai retire from their pillows to join at your request

mark kissing you, jongin sucking on your breasts

from this point on things are pretty much just a daze

two tongues two hands? oh shit

four people are trying to make you cum what did you expect

and three other people are licking you all over

yukhei doesn’t even care at this point he’s just straight up kissing your feet

ten is silently groaning it out, he’s pouring his seed into the condom with little twitches in the hip and shoulders

taeyong’s tongue is gonna finish you off, taemin’s lips will make you feel so good, your legs will be a shaking mess in yukhei’s hands

how to even describe this

it’s an explosion of heat and contractions

you’re going fucking crazy from all that head and tongue action god damn

mark definitely has to swallow a lot of your moans all over the place

and taeyong

also swallows

what a god-loving man

your pussy is leaking enough to feed baekhyun as well

who still strokes himself off while he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, oh boy he really developed a lot of stamina

you have your fun telling him to stop jerking himself off

so his orgasm ends up being ruined

those always mess him up

always a nice sight to have him shaking and whining and gasping

you have to roll over at some point before getting overstimulated

phew that takes quite a couple of deliberate breaths

now you have seven hot guys with sopping wet mouths on your hands, looking at you exhausted and infatuated

that’s super m for you

yukhei, man for the basics he is, hands out towels

you really gotta say he’s kept a clear head in all of this except maybe the sudden foot fetish reveal

of course taeyong towels himself down the most he’s basically covered himself with anything he could get his hands on

that face is dripping like his saturday evening lasagnas 

you help clean mark who kinda lost his mind and heart while kissing you, he needs your care a little more now

baekhyun soon snaps back into organization mode and has the brilliant idea to unpack xuxi’s and jongin’s luggage

to have everyone wearing their gigantic hoodies and sweaters

it’s warm in the room anyway but this feels so much cozier

after going to the bathroom

a ball of cuddly guys is snuggled up all aroud you faster than you can think

mark and taeyong are already sleeping they really knocked themselves out

champs

kai finds the completely forgotten phone somewhere in the sheets and turns off what seems to be a 50 minutes video

that’s gonna be fun to watch some time

baekhyun nuzzles himself to sleep against your sweater, right between your breasts

“mochi mama thank...” are his last words before he drifts off to pineapple pizza land or whatever dreamscape is in his head

probably something much dirtier but anyway

lucas and kai steal kisses from you and go off to sort out the room

jesus christ they still have the energy

taeyong’s nasty lil’ toy collection gets cleaned and reassembled, the ropes get coiled up, the towels wander into a washing machine in the other room

whose steady bumping lulls the rest of you to sleep

while taemin, epitome of taste he is, plays his best of hits on low volume with his phone

dozing off between seven guys while “heaven” is playing? 

best thing ever

the rest is history. you’re surrounded by sleepy cuddly sweater men

you actually sleep for a couple hours

dawntime you wake up cozied and sandwiched between yukhei’s tiddies and jongin’s back

which is the most protected, snug place on earth

even a nuclear superweapon couldn’t explode past that spot

they’re fast asleep

giant baby and teddy bear

safeguarding you in unison

ain’t they adorable

baekhyun is awake silently doing pilates, smiling cutely at you when he sees you’re awake, and he gets a big load of kisses i’m telling you

miraculously everything is tidy and smells fresh, and there’s a light soup in the air...

... lee taeyong got up at 6:30.

he was a whirlwind

the group gets to enjoy a 3-course classic korean breakfast 

because taeyong found the club kitchen

what kind of godly entity is this man

how did he do all of this

the club is the cleanest it’s ever been

taking care of 24 people is probably so difficult, this is actually easy to him

you depart in a good mood because damn that soup was restaurant quality and baekhyun had the idea to give you morning head to which everyone joined in

good thing the club has showers

baekhyun is still horny as hell and you want that D(elight) any time of the day 

so you fuck for a bunch of minutes in his car after dropping off the team and they giving you playful winks

you park the car behind xiumin’s house because that’s the most calm place to be

people are sleeping on xiumnin so hard, no paparazzi are around, ever

baekhyun settles there with you smiling

he didn’t sing “get you alone” with no reason

baekhyun needs that one-on-one time with you to ground himself and love you all over again big time

plus you are dying to cum bouncing on him on the driver’s seat 

while he is desperately gripping the steering wheel to have something solid to hold onto

yeah baekhyun is always ready to lose it for ya

it’s literally such a good spot to fuck

he’s strapped in all underneath you and you can see him squirm and get heart eyes from up close

you also love how your thighs meet the fabric of his pants

baekhyun’s tiny lap is already worth a huge nut you love grinding on him

those shapely thighs

with his cock peaking out from underneath his sweater

what his morning head tongue can do, his dick can do twice with ease so time for round two today

glad you have your bag with some utensils

you’re generous with lube on the condom

in fact you love spilling it over his pants a little

it looks like you’ve been squirting on him that’s why

baekhyun is down for your pervy imaginations

and gets even harder

not bad lil’ guy

time to make him moan with the grip of your walls

mochi breathes pretty hard because damn... more dick destruction

you love burying your hands in his sweater at the shoulders and just fucking ride

his hair gets messy, his bedroom gaze is so intense

his ass still hurts from yesterday but it seems to turn him own judging by the high-pitched groans and his begs for you to bounce on him harder

no problem his dick is just made to be ridden

if this wasn’t a high-tech car from the future with carbon and whatnot anybody could hear baekhyun’s um ‘vocals’ from the outside

this is so much fun oh my god

baekhyun releases with his eyes shut and teeth pressed together, his nose is all scrunched up

jesus this one got to him

he drives you to his home with his fingers shaking a little on the steering wheel

literally tapping like they do in his microphone on stage

yep this shook him up

and insatiable byun is now satisfied byun

nothing better than knowing you ruined your cupcake boyfriend in the best of ways

back at his apartment and after some extra carbo hydrate heavy food, as a pre-nap treat you grind on his thighs and his ass because why not

and gyrate him to sleep with his arms and legs stretched in all directions

both of you are still in disbelief that all of this happened

legend has it you’re dreaming of more group sex ideas that night

the next day taemin sends the champagne video to celebrate your first time together

which brings us back to the start

and that’s how it all happened

now you know

congrats on being a lucky girl

related: super m as subs

FINAL NOTE. ah shit i love this dynamic, thank you for reading 🎊

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts or translations allowed. all depictions fictional.

#super m smut #superm #super m #super m x reader #baekhyun smut #taemin smut #kai smut #lucas smut #ten smut #taeyong smut #mark lee smut #super m imagine #super m fanfic #baekhyun #kai #taemin #mark lee #lucas #yukhei #ten #chittaphon #taeyong

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

okay @themountainsays I’m more awake now and can write the thing. The thing being my tags regarding this post by @hella-amberpricefield about Anna leaping from the collapsing dam in Frozen 2 and being caught on the other side by Lt. Matthias

I think there’s something significant about how it’s Lt. Matthias who catches Anna, and not Kristoff. I wouldn’t say I have a ‘correct’ answer as to why that is, but narratively speaking, I DO think it’s intentional that it was Lt. Matthias

To be fair, he was right there. The last thing we see Matthias do is rescue a fellow soldier from being crushed by the thrown rocks, which actually puts him marginally closer to the dam than it did when he was banging his shield. In comparison, Kristoff is left off screen needing to find a way up to Anna after boosting her onto the ledge level with the dam. She has a full (though brief) conversation with Lt. Matthias, THEN runs onto the dam itself, then it starts breaking, and then she jumps. This, by the way, takes 1m35s in the movie: from when Anna reaches to top of the ledge, converses, rushes past Lt. Matthias onto the dam, and is then successfully rescued and pulled to safety. We have no way of knowing how difficult the terrain was to navigate, or what Kristoff and Sven had to do to reach Anna in time but...

But it’s also... irrelevant. Because if the writers had wanted Kristoff to be the one catching Anna then they would have just done it. We would have accepted the fact that he’d found a way up in time to save her. In fact you could easily argue that it would have made MORE SENSE for Kristoff to save her because it could have culminated into this moment of, “I’m here for you, I’ve got you, you can lean on and trust me,” and then later on, the proposal would have had an even deeper meaning to it. He already had the, “I’m here, what do you need?” line from before and then he has the, “My love is not fragile” line like - I find it very clear that they wanted Kristoff to be putting Anna’s needs and wants above his own when it mattered most, regardless of his own insecurities and fears.

I can see an alternate scene in my head where Kristoff is the one whose hand saves her and Lt. Matthias is secondary, helping pull her up into Kristoff’s secure embrace. In fact it’s so easy to imagine it, that I think people forget that it WASN’T Kristoff at all!

So why is it Lt. Matthias?

Could be a couple of reasons

For starters, he is (or was) the Captain of the Guard for Arendelle. It’s literally his job to protect Arendellian Royalty and the town itself. In his failure to protect King Runeard the day of the betrayal (not that he knew it was Runeard’s fault) and being uncertain of Prince Agnarr’s location post-fight, his mission became the abstraction of “Arendelle” as a whole, which can I think fairly be summed up as his troops and the dam. To him the dam symbolizes the protection of Arendelle, so damage to the dam is damage to his purpose, the thing that has kept him going for 30 years. When Anna requests that one of these things be taken from him too, he’s understandably distraught. He questions her information (though just as easily accepts Anna’s “my sister [the queen] gave her life for the truth [which puts me in charge by default]” which... sure okay, the plot’s gotta keep pace, we DO have Earth Giants inbound). Saving Anna from falling re-establishes Lt. Matthias’ role as a protecter of the living Arendelle; not the past, not the symbol, but the present and the TRUTH

Also, Lt. Matthias could be interpreted as one of the last remaining personifications of Old Arendelle. Of Runeard’s Arendelle. He is quite literally the last person that needs to be convinced of Runeard’s selfish and horrendous acts against the Northuldra. Old Arendelle physically stands in front of Anna as her final barrier to “fixing the past”

There’s a lot going on here! There’s informational conflict, there’s loyalty conflict, there’s rank and power conflict, there’s personal bias conflict, there’s lived experience and just plain age conflict, there’s generational conflict, LIKE?!?!

It’s literally a conversation that stuffs, 

“What you believe is painfully wrong but you didn’t know,” 

and, 

“This new information is correct, comes at great sacrificial cost, and damages what you know about yourself and your country,”

and, 

“I need you to reconcile this and the last 30 years of belief ASAP because that dam needs to come down NOW” 

into 55 seconds. ANYONE would have some strong feelings about that xD

But you know what? Shout out to Matthias, because he not only decides to believe Anna, but to facilitate the destruction of the dam (WHICH HE WAS GOING TO STOP HER FROM DOING, may I remind y’all), FASTER, by personally getting the giants’ attention

It is significant that Lt. Matthias catches Anna because it is literally the past reaching out to the present in order to seek the future. It is the past obliterating itself to clutch tightly to the present, hoping for a better tomorrow. Lt. Matthias makes the difficult choice to ACT in the face of his country’s wrong-doing by physically grasping the future of Arendelle by the hand so as to not drown in the mistakes of the past

Kristoff saving Anna removes all of that context and subtextual weight, and I for one and so SO glad that it is not Kristoff who saves Anna. It’s not that, as a character, Kristoff doesn’t deserve to save the love of his life, it’s what we’d expect, actually

But it’s not. It’s Lt. Matthias. It’s the old guard, the father figure, the proud and the traditional

The man who says to do the Next Right Thing

Even when it’s hard. Even when you may not have all the facts. Even when the facts fly in the face of everything you thought was true

When you see the future struggling to escape the flood of the past, of mistakes and lies, and what might feel like an impossible weight to overcome... make the choice. Act

Lt. Matthias, in a few short moments, shows that: he acknowledges Arendelle’s dark past, acknowledges the part he played in it (both in a leadership and follower role aka active and passive), acknowledges his continued participation in inflicting pain on the Northuldran people and land, and acknowledges that all of that requires him to act justly, here and now

And I really hope that the writers were trying to convey that sentiment by having Lt. Matthias, and not Kristoff, save Anna. To say: “You have can have pride in your past and understand that it is filled with harm towards others, intentional or not. And you can recognize that the structures that give you power and status can and have harmed others, with or without your consent. But none of that should paralyze you from acting towards the proper course of action now.”

Lt. Matthias saves Anna because Arendelle cannot be saved otherwise. It’s.. it’s kind of the whole premise for the movie, actually. The past MUST be reconciled with the present for there to be a future, but the past cannot simply be forgotten or swept away. Acknowledgement is key. Past AND Present are key. Kristoff carries none of that weight on his shoulders, and therefore the only remaining option is to have Lt. Matthias there, arm out, waiting to grasp the future 

#this has been Stream of Consciousness About Frozen 2 Themes with your host: me #look I actually think Lt. Matthias is actually a REALLY symbolic character despite his extremely small amount of screentime and ALL of it #has to do with with how he represents Old Arendelle #this whole thing is a very thinly veiled metaphor for historical reparations #which Disney could hardly pull the trigger on loudly bc... well.. money and profit #but some of it still made it in I swear - even if it wasn't executed all that well over all #anyway uhhhh I hope this #satisfies your curiosity #themountainsays #apparently I had a lot to say about it HAHA #Frozen 2 meta #Lt. Matthias #Anna #Kristoff #the dam scene #Frozen 2 themes

[fibrielsolaer]

Majora’s Mask (N64)

Hello people of Tumblr! Let’s talk about the most divisive Zelda game.

James Rolfe semi-reviewed Majora’s Mask as part of Angry Video Game Nerd, tying the game’s themes into both a Twilight Zone reference (as per masks) and the New Year ball drop (as per moonfall):

I DIDN’T LIKE WUT HE SAID HARUMPH. >:o[

The Nerd is, of course, a fictional character that James has to put on an act for, and I’ve found that this act is much more obvious and stiff than usual. The Nerd normally tries to balance criticism with praise, but the transition in this one comes across as especially jarring and abrupt.

(OOTA = Ocarina of Time Also = James / The Nerd complains about something that applies to OoT also, or doesn’t notice / appreciate something that he ought to as an OoT veteran)

───────────────────────────────────

Graphics

For some strange reason, The Nerd begins by complaining about the graphics - possibly a reference to the Game Grumps playthrough of Majora’s Mask. Arin Hanson did not wait 5 seconds before blurting out “THIS GAME LOOKS LIKE SHIT“ in a tone that made it obvious he was simply trying to stir drama.

OOTA: Despite pointing out that Majora’s Mask reuses the engine and some other assets, James / the Nerd doesn’t include or compare to OoT while criticizing the derived graphics of Majora’s Mask.

Of course, Majora’s Mask is designed to take advantage of the N64′s surreal, creepy graphics and create a disturbing, uncanny world. I would say that “bad graphics” tend to work in the favor of such games, if handled properly. Just look at Puppet Combo.

One must keep in mind, and James would absolutely be familiar with this, that older games up to around the GameCube era were still played on CRT televisions. The color choices and jagged edges of the N64 were less obvious due to the color balancing and blurriness of these old TVs. As such, today’s better monitors actually make these particular games look worse.

While the console overall has definitely not aged well visually, Majora’s Mask is one of the most graphically intensive games on the N64. If I recall correctly, the scene where the Woodfall Temple rises from the swamp is the most graphically demanding scene in any N64 game.

The Nerd asserts that, in contrast to early 3D, certain 2D styles such as Link to the Past still look good by today’s standards. This is never going to be an objective statement - not only because of the strong bias most people have in favor of or against particular graphical media, but also due to the high emotional investment longtime Zelda players have in both LttP and OoT, which tend to jockey for the title of Best Zelda. (Link’s Awakening is usually a close third place.)

I personally find LttP’s color palette appealing, but many sprites are incoherent or anatomically malformed, and its Escher-esque viewing angle with every wall slanting away from you is absurd. This is underscored in A Link Between Worlds, which is in full 3D but copies the viewing angle by hilariously tilting everything.

───────────────────────────────────

Cosmic Checkpoints

The central criticism of Majora’s Mask, which the Nerd for some strange reason prioritizes after the graphics, has always been an example of Time Limit Syndrome.

Time Limit Syndrome is the phenomenon where perceiving a time limit will make many players freak out and possibly make them quit playing the game permanently. This is true even if the time limit turns out to do absolutely nothing when it expires. After all, they don’t know that ahead of time.

I usually hear complaints about Majora’s Mask’s time system from people who quit within 5 minutes due to Time Limit Syndrome... but James / The Nerd has beaten the final boss and really ought to know better.

As James / The Nerd implies, Majora’s Mask does not expect you to beat the game within a single three-day cycle. Indeed, you are forced to “fail” the first cycle in order to teach you the underlying mechanic of resetting the clock and instill in you the idea that you do not have to “beat the time limit”.

Majora’s Mask runs on a cosmic checkpoint system.

At any millisecond you can simply play the Song of Time to return to the Dawn of the First Day and keep every “checkpoint” you’ve met up to that point; “checkpoints” are things like acquired items and learned Songs.

For instance, as soon as you have the Sonata of Awakening, you can enter the Woodfall Temple. You can and should smack the Owl Statue closest to that temple, then immediately reset to a new cycle and enter the temple fresh on the First Day, skipping the long-ass Metal Gear Solid segment you did to get that song.

The Nerd’s implication that you’re “losing progress” when you use the Song of Time thus makes no sense. It’s not any different than leaving a room in a dungeon and seeing that the puzzle in it has reset when you come back in. You don’t need to do that puzzle again if you already got the key item you get for completing it, thus you have not lost any progress. The proper term is replay value, since you have the option at any point of doing any part of the game over again, with any power-ups or self-prescribed inhibitions you like, without starting a new game. Why criticize Majora’s Mask for the #1 reason people love Super Mario World?

When you use the Song of Time to return to the Dawn of the First Day, you save the game. This is the only way to make a “permanent” save in the N64 version of the game (as compared to the 3DS remake); the other methods let you make a temporary save if you’re interrupted or have something else to do, which is deleted when you load it back up.

If you do let the timer run out by itself, then you get an amazingly horrific game over scene (as featured in the above video), and your current 3-day cycle is lost as you must reload the previous First Day save. The reason the N64 game will not let you override your permanent save mid-cycle is, undoubtedly, so that you do not somehow save a scenario where you will repeatedly game over without any chance to use the Song of Time (however unlikely that may be.) In addition, you can always count on your hard saves being at the start of everybody’s schedule, and you will not need to remember where in the middle of some convoluted three-day quest you were.

Personally, I would have made it so that the timer running out just forced the Song of Time effect. The only “good reason” I can think of to do otherwise is because Majora’s Mask is a very unsettling game and the anxiety of Time Limit Syndrome may actually be intentional as part of the mood... but I would prioritize consistent and intuitive gameplay over an inconsistent and unpredictable audience response.

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Time & Dungeons

Majora’s Mask does have a few frustrating consequences of its time system.

Minor annoyances include quests and rewards that only trigger at a very specific time (ghosts at night, The Other Link, etc.)

Moderate annoyances include quests that are not only that specific, but you have to trigger them first by doing something else specific at an earlier time, or intentionally fail another quest. (the Kafei & Anju quests that are not the Couple’s Mask quest)

Major annoyances include questlines that take place over all three days and which you have to completely restart if you mess up at any step and which sometimes have more than one ending (Couple’s Mask quest)

... but the dungeons semi-resetting is not a problem.

You should be smart and warp back as soon as you can access the dungeon, so that you can enter it at the very start of a new cycle. All you need is the Song that opens it and the Owl Statue closest to it (usually right in front of the dungeon entrance.)

Half of the dungeon is only there to block off the dungeon item. Once you get that, if you need to reset, you can skip half the dungeon next time because you’ve already got the dungeon item. You only need to get the Big Key and go fight the boss.

If you’ve ever challenged the boss, even if you had to quit the fight and reset, you can skip the entire dungeon and teleport right to the boss again on all subsequent cycles. (The boss will also call you out for holding its remains, if applicable.)

You only need to gather the fairies once per dungeon, since you keep all of the unlocked items across cycles.

It’s really quite forgiving except that it does not make it overt exactly where your checkpoints are. In fact, before James made this video and I looked it up, I didn’t know for the last 15+ years that merely challenging the boss let you skip the dungeon on subsequent cycles.

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But Why Tho

The entire 3-day nonsense is a necessity because of the illusion of life.

Similarly to Harvest Moon, major NPCs are scheduled to be in particular places at particular times of the three days. However, unlike Harvest Moon, this schedule is extremely specific for applicable characters. If you slow down time with the Inverted Song of Time, you will actually see these affected NPCs moving proportionately more slowly, because even their path from one place to another, and their exact departure and arrival times, are aligned to the time schedule. Doing certain things will also alter NPC schedules accordingly.

This, of course, helps deepen the characters and make them look more life-like in a game that is all about exploring them emotionally and learning about their fears, hardships, and heartbreaks. Link earns every single Mask in the game by healing somebody, even if he does not use the Song of Healing per se. If he gets every single last one, then he has the ultimate power of love and kindness that off-handedly obliterates the malice and hatred of Majora.

This level of detail would not be feasible, or at least not very intuitive, with a very long schedule, so the game takes place over the same three days repeated indefinitely.

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Comparisons

The Nerd compares Majora’s Mask to Breath of the Wild in other places in the video, but does not do so when it would not be favorable to the latter; specifically, his criticism of the Majora’s Mask banker and his/her talkiness applies ten times over to the Great Fairies in Breath of the Wild, who not only give their entire explanation of how they work every time you leave and return to them again, but also forcibly close the upgrade window when you run out of items you have materials for, without letting you look them over to see what you need to farm for.

You need to use the BotW Great Fairies all the time, but you only need to use the MM bank rarely. You can just deposit money into it once per cycle and ignore it otherwise, since you refill your ammo just by cutting bushes and never need to purchase any... unlike Breath of the Wild.

To deposit or withdraw all your Rupees at once, just enter 999 as the number. It will change it to however many you actually have. The reason you’ve given 5 Rupees in hand is (probably) because otherwise you might lose them when you had 995 or more Rupees in the bank, if indeed you can stand to grind Rupees for that long.

OOTA: The banker is the Termina counterpart of OoT’s beggar, and reuses the animation.

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Around this point, the “sequence breaking” in the editing becomes apparent. Like a videogamedunkey skit, random bits of the game are strewn into the video out of order.

This comes back to bite the review because the Nerd acts like he’s just gotten to a part of the game that has to be completed before what was shown earlier in the video (hence why I call it “sequence breaking”). This breaks the illusion of sincerity; the suspension of disbelief as to the video being scripted is lost and it starts to look a bit more doctored to color the perception of the game.

OOTA: The Nerd does not recognize obvious counterparts to or parodies of characters like the Organ Grinder / Guru Guru, and acts like he’s never encountered an N64 ReDead before.

OOTA: The swim sound is the same sound as in Ocarina of Time. Talk about fishing for complaints.

I disagree harshly with the statement that “all everybody talks about [in regards to Majora’s Mask] are the good things”. I’ve almost only ever heard people complain about the time system and how it’s “Not Really Zelda”.

The particular glitch shown - Zora Link rapidly colliding with the wall - must be intentionally invoked. That glitch occurs if you use the speed-swim against very specific spots of very specific walls... fittingly, any of the corners in the infamous whirlpool room work. All you have to do is let go of the buttons and it will stop. It’s kind of like sailing Mario under the log with a Green Shell in Lethal Lava Land, except Mario always dies (in the most hilarious way) when you do that and Link is only briefly inconvenienced (in the most hilarious way).

OOTA: Most of Majora’s Mask’s more common glitches are the same as in Ocarina of Time due to reusing the engine. Infinite Sword Glitch and Bombchu Hover are both still around, for instance.

The one glitch that is the most problematic is that sometimes, when you reset in the middle of a dungeon, the doors will lock but the Small Keys will not go back into their chests. You then have to keep resetting until it resets correctly, which should be the very next reset.

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Wart / Arrghus

Majora’s Mask may be the only Zelda game with two minibosses in every dungeon - one for the dungeon item, one for the Big Key.

That eyeball boss is Wart, the first of the two Great Bay Temple minibosses, who guards the Ice Arrows. It’s Arrghus from Link to the Past, who was always called ワート WART in Japanese. In the 3DS version, its name in several other languages is the same as Arrghus’s.

Wart is the most annoying enemy in the entire game. He’s a fucker and I hate him. The worst thing about Wart is that the only way to make his long-ass battle faster is to completely destroy your N64. You do this by shooting an arrow into his eye when it’s open, causing every single mini-eyeball to fall off of him, dropping your frame rate into the gutter. (It gets even worse when you start hitting them with the sword.)

You fight Wart again in the Secret Temple (which is basically a boss gauntlet.)

Fuck Wart.

And fuck the second Great Bay miniboss, the gecko in the blob.

─────────────────────────────────── 

Bits and Bobs

Sometimes the game’s camera cuts (such as when night falls and the game pauses to announce it) interrupt the gameplay. I don’t remember whether the camera angle you had before the cut effects the camera angle after the cut.

While not strictly required, the Bunny Hood literally only makes you run much faster, and makes the skeleton captain sequence (and 90% of the game) much easier. Always use the Bunny Hood when you don’t need any other mask.

OOTA: You should always be tapping the Lens of Truth on and off to use way less magic. (Basically zero, if you tap it rapidly enough.)

The Goron Race is one of the most frustrating parts of the game, and you need to complete it by the 2nd Day or else you can’t get the Gilded Sword. To get the most amount of time possible to complete it:

Confront Ghot at least once

Save a lot of Rupees in the bank

Get the Powder Keg certification

Start a new cycle

Buy a Powder Keg

Use Fire Arrow to ready forge and turn in sword for Razor Sword

Defeat Ghot (necessary for races to start)

Use bought Powder Keg to blow up boulder (shoot it with an arrow to detonate it)

Complete race as soon as possible for Gold Dust

Get Razor Sword

Turn Razor Sword right back in

Get Gilded Sword

Nintendo has never had good control sticks; the N64 and the Joycon alike both have shitty sticks that experience drift or misalign after a few months of use. This is probably why James is unable to roll Goron Link straight forward, or stay on the pipes, despite the N64′s analog stick locking into an octagon to ensure the 8 main directions are easy to hit.

You have to hit the trees with the Hookhot, but the stupid turtle wobbles around, so the trees are hard to hit. I’m not sure how the game determines whether the Hookshot connected or not. Is it checked on fire? Is it checked on arrival? No idea.

The reason the Ice Arrows are not working is because James is shooting too close to the wall. The ice platform would then clip through it. The game could move the platform to be further from the wall but decides to just not form any platform at all. I remember being pretty pissed off with it myself.

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Video ending

The Nerd doesn’t have to do the entire dungeon over again, because he already has the Ice Arrows. He only has to get to and fight that stupid blob gecko again for the Big Key and then get back to the boss.

OOTA: Why would you walk into the giant exit light before you got the Heart Container. Hell, so far as I know, this is Every Zelda Game Also since all of them let you forget to pick up the Heart Container...

Majora’s a bastard. If you get every mask in the game and turn them all in to him, he will for some unfathomable reason give you the Fierce Deity Mask and let you completely whoop his ass with it. The Fierce Deity Mask makes the battle into an utter joke. In the N64 version you can only use it in boss rooms, unless you use a glitch. The 3DS version also lets you use it when fishing (which itself is not in the N64 version.)

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In summary

Majora’s Mask is definitely beloved more for its themes and characters than for its gameplay. It has some of the most beautiful music in all of Zelda, most notably the Song of Healing, and its advanced special effects and cinematography are top-tier by the standards of the N64. It is chock-full of bittersweet, heavy-hitting content and is a major source of inspiration for future "serious subject” indie games and creepypastas - not just BEN DROWNED and Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion, but in general.

The gameplay is, for the most part, a weird Ocarina of Time mod. The mask forms play differently, and there are extra mechanics introduced by some songs such as the Elegy of Emptiness, but overall you solve puzzles and fight battles with the same “strategy” as in OoT.

MM has always been very divisive because of the time system, which the game does not adequately explain to most players, and which is particularly frustrating in regards to specific parts of the game such as the Gilded Sword or the Couple’s Mask quest. The Bomber’s Notebook helps keep track of some aspects (and is expanded in the 3DS version), but many players simply find the detailed scheduling and the sequence of events too much crap to keep track of and too many repeated chores in the event of failures and many resets, and do not develop a recognition - let alone appreciation - of when they have reached a checkpoint in the main game and can reset to a new cycle without losing anything, or how to gauge whether they have the time left to take on a new task whimsically rather than through planning.

When I first started playing I hated it, but over time I began to be okay with the structure around the time cycle, albeit a bit bored or frustrated when I had to repeat day 1+2 because I screwed up a quest on day 3.

There are so many cool moments in Majora’s Mask that, for me at least, it supercedes the frustrating parts of the quests that cover all 3 days, and some of the just plain annoying parts that are not strictly relevant to the time system.

How the dogs react to each form of Link

Any time you use the Song of Healing

Mummy-Dad and the Well

When you realize who the Skull Kid is

When you realize what happened to the Butler’s son

The full ending with 100% completion

I’ve often said that Earthbound is “a lousy game but a great experience”.

I suppose it’s not out of the park to say Majora’s Mask is in the same boat.

#zelda #majora's mask #legend of zelda #loz #lozmm #loz majora's mask #avgn #angry video game nerd

[icharchivist]

Dgm: I like how all this time the story had the Order trying to find the Heart so they could protect it from the Earl and thinking it could be any Innocence. It seemed like a rescue mission for a thing in need of protection. But now we know 1) The Heart is so powerful it beat the Earl so bad 7 thousand years ago that the Earl is still frustrated beyond sanity he hasn't been able to end the war yet thanks to it. 2) The Heart is so powerful Road tells Wisely the Earl is the ONLY reason the Heart-

2 hasn't already come out and obliterated all the Noah by itself for good. 3) It's bodyguard is Apocryphos. A Innocence so strong it's hidden itself for 7 thousand years and is more then a match for any Noah. Arguably it has less to fear from any Noah then the other way around. All in all, it sounds like the Heart is the ONLY reason this war is still going on and the only reason the Noah are still kicking is because the Heart is letting them (much like how the Earl is letting the Order exist). -

3 Honestly in some ways the Heart is sounding even more terrifying then the Earl. Not saying the Heart is evil. But it definitely is way more mysterious and elusivethen the Earl is in just about everyway (which is saying something). It's also strange why the Heart loves Allen so much and why it's so obsessed with him. A part of me bets what Caterina was to Adam, Allen was/is to the Heart. I definitely believe past Allen met and bonded strongly w/the Heart and it's accomodator.

Oooh yeah i’m all with you on that. 

Tbh this is something I absolutly love about DGM, is that every plotpoints end up not really being what it seems when it was first introduced. Hell even the more and more development of the Order as a shady organization works in that worldview. And There’s something kinda engaging and interesting with the fact of always putting back into question everything you took for granted because of a previous, newcomer bias. 

The thing is that, if the Heart is by any mean a tool of God (whenever it is “the True God” or the “False God”, depending which sides you’re asking), and a tool that had been kicking for milleniums as well. It is very likely that the Heart is a being of extreme. And the problem is that any extreme remains dangerous.

Honestly though just one thing about that, let’s remember that the Noah were unknown to the Order before Road showed herself to Allen, and even there Lero told her it wasn’t part of the Script. After that, the Heart’s hunt was officially the Earl’s and no one would have known it was the Noah following them if looking for Cross hadn’t brought them to Japan. 

The only people who knew about the Noah’s existences was the Bookman Clan. Apocryphos stayed hiden for thousands of years, yes - but we also have reasons to think the Bookman Clan knew about his existance too, do we not?

This is the final act of the script for the Noah. It’s where the pieces come to place, where the actors come out and play their parts. 

we know the Noah had been active for a long time, we know they were a whole gang already decades ago - yet the Order didn’t learn it until a series of incident that wasn’t planned by the Earl. 

So in a way there is something also interesting about the fact the Earl had always been out in the open while the Heart had always been hidden - while their protectors had always kept themselves secrets for centuries. Because truth be told, the exorcists have more in common with the Akuma, wielding the Matter against their will, than with the Noah and Apocryphos who had been an extension of the Earl and the Heart respectively.

And it could be that the threats to the Heart were also a way to drive out Apocryphos too after all those centuries - that after the Noah came full front into the scene, so should the Heart, it should also plays its cards for once.

Honestly i think the Heart’s accomodator is perhaps something that is changing the Heart’s behavior. Or at least keeping it... restrained, in a way for the Heart to keep hiden and keep an eye on the war. But the Heart itself?  I mean.... In comparaison to the Earl who has no problem actually stepping in the war, on the field by himself, the fact the Heart plays it more viciously is interesting. 

So no i wouldn’t say the Heart is evil, just like you say - but the way it plays the game is vicious, secret, and a certain extreme too. If the innocences that had been modified by the Heart so far are anything to get by, the Heart also endangers more of its exorcists (crystal type) in order to make them “evolve”. 

I think the Heart is an extreme who is trying to protect humanity, but kinda like the Order, is in a “and damn the consequences” way. That some things can be sacrificed in order to win the war, and they’ve been at it for so long that it is just another war. 

We know what humanity is for the Noah, but what is it for the Heart? What does the Heart feels for humanity? Does it love it? Does it just protect it by duty? Does it even care about humanity or is it just trying to stop the Earl? Had it changed with time perhaps?

And this is what makes the Heart kinda scary because if Apocryphos is anything to get by, there would be no problem killing people getting in the way for the Heart’s sake. Collateral damage just wouldn’t matter. Why would one random person dying be in the frame of all of humanity’s history? 

I tend to believe that the accomodator of the Heart may not know/is struggling with the Heart itself tbh. The Heart could be linked to the emotions of the accomodator, and in which case i’m almost certain the accomodator is someone who would care for Allen, but I also wouldn’t leave it past the Heart to have a hidden agenda from its own accomodator too. And its own soft spot for Allen. after all, according to Cross, Apocryphos would be the reason Allen didn’t remember being “Allen” when he met him in A Lost Fragment of Snow. 

So this... ask is all over the place but I have a lot of question about the Heart as an entity. Its accomodator is most likely a human who perhaps doesn’t control the Heart as much as it could. 

One last thing, the Earl says that the “Heart has awakened” after the Attack on the Order’s arc: he says that the reasons the innocences had been evolving is the Heart creating dummies. It would imply that the Heart had been “sleeping” for the last decades or so at least. It raises a lot of questions considering we know Apocryphos seems to have tempered with Allen’s reincarnation on the will of the Heart decades ago. How long had the Heart been sleeping and when did it awake and how long has it remained hiden? There’s so much question. 

And I do find it super interesting that we were introduced to the Heart as this “vulnerable just like the others innocence but would doom all innocences if destroyed” to basically being the equivalent to the Earl (Earl as the Noah Side, not the “humanity side”) in the grand scheme of things. And that cannot be good. Not pushed to such 

Gaah I have so much questions but i love the plot around the Heart I cannot word my answer right kdhfd hope that makes sense!

#ichafantalks dgm #heart theory #Anonymous #ichareply

[sunlethscape]

The Wicked King Thoughts

this isn’t going to be an edited and professional review like my gaming reviews are lol. i just finished this at 2am last night and i legit DID NOT sleep well because i have so many emotions about this book...many of them that only got more negative as i talked about it with my best friend? which makes me sad because The Cruel Prince is my favorite fantasy book ever!!! maybe favorite book ever periodt!!!

so uhhhhhh here are my thoughts, i need to get them out and move on, especially since the wait for Queen of Nothing will be so long. ALL THE SPOILERS, OBVS so please don’t read if you haven’t read it yet and don’t want to be spoiled!

i think most of my issues stem from the fact that i think the book needed to be a lot longer. in a trilogy, the second book is the most important, in my opinion, because it serves as the bridge between the beginning and the end--there is no other bridge beside this book. and this book was really short and felt like it glossed over a lot? 

there is a 5 month time skip at the beginning, which doesn’t feel like the best move because seeing judge get acclimated to being cardan’s seneschal and all that entailed on a daily basis, both in terms of the physical stress and in terms of her feelings with cardan, would’ve been 1) great and 2) necessary for their relationship. 

jurdan is supposed to be this enemies to lovers trope, but the only way that this trope really works is if there is a significant amount of development in the relationship, or else the transition between enemies to lovers feels jarring and just doesn’t work. i didn’t see that transition here...they’re both very broken people, who have lacked the knowledge of what trust is for much of their life, but they do know it to some extent. i needed a lot more from them, a lot more development and also not what feels a retcon of what they learned of each other? like at least maybe cardan showing some hesitation or /something/ while sleeping with other people when he supposedly likes Jude, Really likes her enough to be unable to get her out of his head, enough to just scrawl her name on a note over and over again. they kind of do what they did in The Cruel Prince -- be mad at each other and have some sexual tension -- but just for the span of a book. it feels like there wasn’t any development, other than getting to know each other a bit more, having sex, getting close to becoming somewhat honest and then at the end that’s just obliterated. with cardan laughing a beat too late from the rest at the end, i know he has to have some plan set in motion, and it’s the only plan that will keep jude safe, but it’s still ?????? you got married literally the night before. which it wasn’t even a marriage “ceremony” that sat right because this is where they should’ve been honest about each other, at least to some noticeable degree. it would’ve made the betrayal at the end better, too! 

the betrayal/ending felt incredibly rushed. i remember checking the amount of pages left and being like...what’s going to happen in such few pages? and for an entire ending that leaves the reader shocked as well as an epilogue (which did nothing, really) to happen in such a short time felt very rushed.

there was also just /another/ time skip of another month. so we essentially skip over 6 months total in this book, and it feels...incomplete. i think the book needed to be double its length in order to carry the amount of development that it needed. it needed more build up toward all of its major plot points -- ghost betraying jude, taryn betraying jude, and prince cardan suddenly being in full control of his powers.

the last one, in particular, bothers me because we spend the entire book seeing him as a king that is more clever than he lets on but is ultimately still messy and rather naive. we get no build up toward him being more in tune with his powers -- it’s not something even jude knows at the beginning, and with being outcasted from the family his whole life, i doubt he received much training. it’s glossed over as him “learning scheming” well in the month that jude spent underwater but...again, that does nothing for the reader. it didn’t feel cheap, but it just wasn’t developed at all, so i was confused as to how he suddenly had perfect control. you need subtlety in books, but you also need to build up to certain things. 

locke explicitly trying to kill jude also felt ????? he’s always been extremely shady even from the beginning of the cruel prince, and jude does threaten him pretty explicitly here, but we’ve gotten no hint that he’s capable of murder before, as far as i remember. he’s been conniving and sneaky and trashy and unfaithful, but he hasn’t been shown to even think of murder as a valid option. taryn and him are annoying and this entire family thing should’ve been resolved, or reached a climax at least with all parties aware of everything, in this book. like...he can’t just have murdered jude and then he mostly disappears from jude’s mind and the general picture until the next book lol. 

i feel like holly black has created this amazing universe with such fascinating characters but isn’t letting them get the time to develop. we could’ve gotten so much more about nicasia, her mom, the blacksmith who is suddenly a really important player but that we see in two freaking scenes, about the court of shadows (especially ghost since????????????????? like yeah you served prince dain but bitch he’s dead now lmao WHAT you’re siding with what will destroy the land???? okay go off i guess), taryn, just...everyone. i’m puzzled as to why some scenes are in the book, like heather being turned into a cat or whatever and the scene with eldred’s past lover who just decides not to help jude even after opening up to her (which was a nice character building moment, yes, but he’s not even a major player in this and it wasn’t a necessity since he didn’t even help her and the scene doesn’t do anything meaningful for her)

trying to remove my bias as a shipper and lover of good romance, i find myself unabel to agree with people when they say romance isn’t at the forefront of this story. sure, political intrigue, war, scheming etc might all be at the forefront...but so is romance very much. the book’s synopsis touches on the romance. the book’s title is a reference to jude’s love interest. jude and cardan are the only two characters that get page time throughout the entire book (even if i wish there could’ve been more cardan, though i’m not sure if this is becuase i love him so dearly) and are the lead characters. the romance /is/ a very important part about this story, it’s why so many things (including the ending) happen. and i’m sad that what is the best enemies-to-lovers trope i’ve come across was just...nothing close to that at all in this book. it’s a messy relationship, they’re messy people, but i feel like we should be somewhere else with them if the next book is the last. the pacing was really not great here, at all. some people complained that the first book took too slow to start, which i found the pacing to be on the slow side but i was more than okay with it, but this was way too fast. if all these events spanned from the front to back of this book, then sure that’s fine but it needed to be a longer book. many things feel underdeveloped. 

i read it in one sitting so sure, it went fast for me. i’m a huge fan of the first book and this is the first book i’ve anticipated so strongly in a very long time. but i was hooked on the first book, as well, and not only did i not read that so fast but there was also proper development for everything so i was very satisfied at the end despite it being technically more of a cliffhanger than the end of this book.

i just...i’m sad to be disappointed because i’ve been thinking about this book nonstop for months? : ( i love this series and jude and cardan dearly so i’m sad to feel so disappointed. to bring up another author whose books I’ve enjoyed, Sarah J Maas tends to fluctuate in quality but she spends /so much time/ developing everything, from the world to her (arguably less interesting) characters. if this book incorporated that aspect of her writing, we would’ve learned more about the lower courts, especially the court of termites, learned more about this entire universe teeming with so many possibilities. A Court of Mist and Fury, the second book in the A Court of Thorns and Roses trilogy, is a stupendous book. it’s dedicated to some action and plenty of political intrigues, but it absolutely nailed developing every single main character in a pretty sizeable cast -- especially the main couple, which desperately needed the development since they were enemies in the first book. Heir of Fire is the middle book in the The Throne of Glass series, and that entire book is dedicated to developing the protagonist, her relationship to the world and to who becomes her real love interest. 

these two books in those series are really popular because they spent so much time just simply fleshing everything out...i feel like The Wicked King just jumps from event to action at a rapid pace, with some minimal character building in between. i loved seeing an even darker jude, but there’s something missing in her characterization that i can’t quite put my finger on, and while i loved cardan’s development, i feel he wasn’t around enough. maybe if the book was longer, i wouldn’t have these issues, because it’s the easiest way to fix them. idk. i’m usually not one for multiple POVs (i don’t mind or love them, whatever fits the story best is fine) but i think this book would’ve really benefitted from that here.

tl;dr i’m v sad that i’m disappointed in what was totally my most anticipated book...maybe ever? ;o; especially since a lot of people seem to have loved it, some even more than the cruel prince, and while i totally respect that and see where it comes from, i can’t count myself among those folks. idk. i’m sad and impatient for Queen of Nothing!! feel free to reply/cry with me if you’re disappointed with anything or just dealing with the nearly unbearable sadness and emptiness of finishing a book of a series that you care so much about. 

@ holly black 

#the wicked king #wicked king #the cruel prince #the wicked king spoilers #jurdan #jude/cardan #jude x cardan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #also That scene in ch 15 needed to be longer tbh sue me I WAITED SO LONG FOR IT OK

[krinsbez]

A History of Alien Invasions; my college thesis, part 1

Well, my dad’s always going about how I ought to publish this thing that I had to write in order to earn my college degree (I will not be telling you what in because I want y’all to respect me). To my profound irritation I cannot find the actual word document, though I do have those of my classmates, so unfortunately, you’ll be getting the version sans bibliography I posted on a forum board once.

Beware wall o’ text...

A History of Alien Invasions: Depictions of Alien Invasions and Changes in Pop Culture 

Of the many ways to examine changes in society, one of the most interesting is to examine the entertainment produced in different eras. Media such as films, books, and TV programs all reflect what is going on in society at the time. Different kinds of entertainment reflect varied aspects of the zeitgeist, the spirit of the times, whether their creators intend to or not. For example, horror films reflect people’s fears. A variant of that genre which is particularly prone to reflect the attitudes and worries of an era is one that often gets short shrift in terms of cultural study: films depicting the invasion of the Earth by aliens. Unlike traditional horror films, which largely tend to play to people’s primal “night terrors” in a world of black-and-white battles between good and evil, alien invasion tales tend to speak to a part of the human psyche that is more in tune with “the real world.” The alien invasion film engages one’s fears of subjugation, loss of identity, and other cultural and political uncertainties, rather than the more conventional nightmares of vampires, serial killers, and other such sources of bodily harm. (Lucanio 11). An analysis and comparison of an array of alien invasion films will help demonstrate the way they tend to reflect society. In addition, a discussion of two or three depictions of alien invasion from other media will be included, as they are necessary for completeness’ sake. These works span a period of time from the late 19th century to the early 21st. Among these are several remakes of earlier films. To best demonstrate the changes between the original films and their remakes, the two will be discussed together. With remakes, it is important to remember that not all differences are due entirely to socio-cultural change. Some were caused by differences of the “vision” of their respective creators, or by studio politics. However, even these “differences of vision” can sometimes be used as an example of societal change, as each creator’s “vision” is just as molded by changes in the zeitgeist as anyone else’s.

War of the Worlds

This analysis begins with the granddaddy of alien invasion fiction: The War of the Worlds, by H. G. Wells, first published in 1898. Wells’ novel, quite possibly the first tale of alien invasion, has been adapted numerous times, in an array of different media, including radio, movies, television, and even comic books. For purposes of brevity, the focus shall rest on only the original tale, and three adaptations. These are the 1938 Orson Welles radio broadcast, the 1953 George Pal film (Rovin 164-165), and the 2005 Steven Spielberg film. Wells’ novel tells the story of an invasion of the Earth by Martians. The Martians land in projectiles shot from Mars, build nigh-unstoppable war machines, and set about destroying/conquering everything in their path until being struck down by germs. The book is in the form of a survivor recounting the invasion several years later and thus is told mostly in the first person, describing his trials and travails from shortly before the Martians land to shortly after they perish. A portion of the book is written in the third person, describing events to which the narrator’s brother was witness, and a good deal of the discussion of the Martians’ technology, biology, and other such things, discovered after the invasion. From the brief description provided above, an uneducated reader could be forgiven for thinking that the book is fairly simple, an impression one gets from surface examinations of most alien invasion fiction. This impression would be woefully inaccurate both in the case of The War of the Worlds and other works in this genre. The book exists largely as a work of satire of British Imperialism; the point is made both through the general feeling of the novel and explicit statements by the narrator that what the Martians are doing to Britain is not particularly different from what Britain was doing to the rest of the world (Wells 9). At times, this comparison is over emphasized; while a brief mention is made that they might move on to Europe, they never actually invade anywhere other than England. The novel also touches on evolution, and unsurprisingly, given Wells’ socialism, class struggle. (Taravella 249) Naturally, Wells’ anti-Imperialist sentiment and other philosophical musings do not appear in the other versions, or at least are heavily de-emphasized as they were made in different times and different places, where these issues were less important. Also, the creators of these works did not necessarily agree with Wells’ left-wing politics. This is not, of course, to say these adaptations and remakes are without deeper meaning as can be shown through analysis of them. Orson Welles’ 1938 radio broadcast is a good starting point. With a few exceptions, the lion’s share of Welles’ version is made in the form of a faux news broadcast, an embryonic form of the style of faux-documentary we now call a “mockumentary.” It takes place in 1939, a year after it was produced. In an opening monologue (parts of which were copied almost word for word from Wells), Welles sets the stage by stating that, in this fictional near future, “business was better. The war scare was over. More men were back at work. Sales were picking up.” This statement gives an idea of the mindset of Welles’ audience; it lets analysts know that these two things, the economic situation and the brewing conflict in Europe, were troubling the minds of the American people at that time. The latter is of particular importance as it was this particular anxiety that most likely drove the famous, or infamous, reaction to Welles’ broadcast: mass panic. Due to a series of circumstances that will not be discussed here, many listeners came into the broadcast in the middle, and missed the introduction that would have told them that the apparent “news broadcast” was a work of fiction. These listeners therefore assumed that the broadcast was real, that the Earth, and more specifically the United States, was being invaded by Martians…and reacted accordingly. Eventually, of course, the furor died down, leaving a mark on pop culture, both by itself and by making Orson Welles an international star. However, it is striking in what it reveals about the American mindset at the time and how that mindset diverges from that of contemporary America. Most obviously, the broadcast showed how people reacted to the media. To the modern observer, saturated with information and wary of media bias, the reaction to Welles’ broadcast seems to be ridiculous, almost insane. It is important to remember that, in those days, information about what was going on in the world was limited to four primary sources: word of mouth, newspapers, movie newsreels…and the radio. Partially because of this fact, the media tended to be, or at least was perceived to be, less partisan and more concerned with providing the facts. Welles’ program was designed to evoke the feeling of the real thing: a program of dance music, occasionally interrupted by news flashes of unusual explosions observed on Mars, eventually escalating into a live newscast of a full-on alien invasion. The power of radio at the time cannot be understated. As an example, in 1926, the BBC’s Father Ronald Knox performed “Broadcasting The Barricades,” an account of a populist revolution done in a similar fashion, albeit in a less realistic and more humorous style. It, too, produced a panic, albeit a smaller one (Gosling). The other major factor in the panic was the situation in Europe. The broadcast was made in 1938, on the eve of the Second World War. By October, the month of the broadcast, Hitler’s Germany had seized control of Austria and the Sudentenland. It was a forgone conclusion that a war was on the horizon in Europe. Unsurprisingly, many Americans feared that the United States would be pulled into the conflict, as had happened two decades earlier in the First World War. It is notable that, according to a study performed by the Radio Project, many of those who panicked did not believe that America had been invaded by Martians; they thought it had been invaded by Germans, (War of the Worlds Film) likely because of that nation’s recent aggression. War of the Worlds came to the big screen in 1953, produced by George Pal. This version was even more divergent from Wells’ novel. Pal’s Martians invaded in what was then the modern day, and their behavior was quite different from the Martians of Wells and Welles. Whereas the previous iterations came as conquerors (Wells’ Martians fed on human blood and seemed to be planning on keeping men as cattle, while Welles’ Martians “[made] a conscious effort to avoid destruction of cities and countryside”), Pal’s Martians came as destroyers, obliterating everything in their path, reflecting the belief that the Soviets intended not just to conquer the West but obliterate our entire way of life. The threat of nuclear annihilation probably played into this change as well. The scope of their invasion was also much greater, being global rather than confined solely to a single nation, just as the Communist menace was. In addition, the hero, rather than being a hapless observer, is a forceful man of action, a scientist constantly involved in the vain attempts to battle the invaders. He also has a love interest, something that is emphatically not present in Wells’ novel (Wells’ nameless narrator is married, but his wife is mentioned only briefly). These latter changes are due partially to Hollywood’s tendency to stick action heroes and romance into just about anything, but are also an attempt to reassure the audience of the power of American Manliness and of traditional gender roles, both of which were perceived as being under attack by Communists. Even more than the above changes, two things explicitly mark this film as a product of the early years of the Cold War. The first is that, while specific mention is made of nations all over the world fighting the Martians, there is one nation that is explicitly not mentioned: the Soviet Union. When one adds in that Washington becomes the center of human resistance, the implication is quite clear that the Martians are merely a substitute for the evil Soviets. The second of these is religion: in the climactic sequence, the hero runs from church to church, which somehow remain inviolate while the rest of Los Angeles is burning, looking for his love interest. He finds her at the same time as the Martians finally do attack a church, namely the one in which the hero and his ladylove are standing in. Oddly, the only damage is a stained-glass window, and the Martians die almost immediately thereafter. The film ends with a shot of a cathedral, while a narrator solemnly informs viewers that after the science of Man failed, the aliens were defeated by microbes “which God, in His wisdom placed upon the Earth”. The implication of this imagery and statement is that the Martians were struck down by the hand of God for their sacrilege. While this line does appear in Wells’ novel (220), it is part of a larger statement, which lacks any such meaning. This change is symptomatic of one of the basic attitudes of the Cold War; that America stood for God and faith as opposed to the Godless “Commies”. In 2005, a new film version of War of the Worlds appeared in theaters. Directed and produced by acclaimed filmmaker Steven Spielberg, featuring super-star actor Tom Cruise, and with big budget, state-of-the-art special effects, one would think that this film would be a bombastic spectacle that would dwarf its predecessors in scope. Such was not the case. This version focuses on a modern-day blue-collar dockworker from New Jersey and his two children, as opposed to the scholarly philosopher of Wells’ novel, the famed astronomer and assorted journalists of Welles’ broadcast, or the renowned scientist of Pal’s film. There are effectively no references to what is happening in the world at large, little speculation as to the motives and nature of the invaders (who, incidentally, are not Martians, but from another world, never identified). Far more attention is paid to the panicked crowds attempting to escape the invaders than to the authorities seeking to fight back. In short, despite its high production values and big names, it is a much smaller story than its predecessors. Unlike Wells’ and Welles’ ominous tales and Pal’s implication of divine intervention, Spielberg’s film is much more humanistic. Its hero is a flawed, working-class everyman trying to protect his family, rather than a perceptive intellectual trying to learn about the invaders or find a way to defeat them. At the climax, after it is realized that the aliens are perishing, the movie pictures soldiers destroying the invaders’ war machines. As with Pal’s film, Spielberg’s ends with a narrator quoting from Wells’ closing monologue, but rather than emphasizing “the smallest of God’s creations,” and thus Man’s impotence in the face of the threat, it instead emphasizes how Man had earned his immunity to them through centuries of deaths, proving that “men do not die in vain.” Despite the smaller scale, Spielberg’s War of the Worlds is far more explicit than the previous film. Alien war machines explode out of the ground in the wake of violent thunderstorms, crowds of fleeing people are blasted by the invaders and violently evaporate, a river is filled with floating corpses, hordes of terrified refugees trample each other in a stampede towards perceived safety, the aliens graphically drain people’s blood to spray onto the gruesome red weed that sprouts everywhere in their wake…these are just a few of the multitude of depictions of graphic violence displayed in the newer film. So, what is the source of these changes? The third of these, the explicit violence, while the least significant, is probably the easiest to explain. Throughout the second half of the 20th Century, the American people became more jaded and inured to violence. It is therefore much more difficult to elicit gasps of horror and shock from a modern audience, and it is easier to use graphic imagery to provoke the viewers than to inspire a sense of dread. Thus, a profusion of Grand Guigniolesque grotesquery is offered, a pattern that will become discernible as this survey of alien invasion films continues. The other two changes, the smaller scale and greater humanism, are more difficult to elucidate. Partially this is because Spielberg’s style of filmmaking tends to be highly personal; hence it is a case of “creator’s vision.” However, it is more than that. Many of the later films under discussion have a similar emphasis on the common man, the average Joe, the little guy, rather than the square-jawed, always-confident, intellectual hero of the Fifties’ films. There are undoubtedly a multitude of reasons for this change, but among the most likely is that it relates to a growing alienation of people from the authorities. Invasion of the Body Snatchers

The next tale of alien invasion was born in 1954. That year, author Jack Finney wrote a story, serialized in Colliers Magazine, entitled “Sleep No More,” a tale of mysterious “Pods” from outer space replacing the inhabitants of a small California town called Mill Valley when they fall asleep. The next year, he expanded this tale into a novel, The Body Snatchers. The year after that, it was developed, more or less faithfully, into a film entitled Invasion of the Body Snatchers, directed by Don Siegel. The film became a cult classic and was remade in 1978. (Rovin 38) This remake, directed by Philip Kaufman, was less faithful to the novel: the location was changed to the big city of San Francisco, it took place in contemporary times, and the characters were changed considerably. In the '50s versions of Body Snatchers, the main male and female protagonists (Miles Bennell and Becky Driscoll) are quite different from those of the '70s remake (MATTHEW Bennell and ELIZABETH Driscoll). Until his breakdown at the very end of the movie, Miles is a very decisive, take-charge kind of guy who comes as close to being in control of events as one can in such a situation. Matthew, on the other hand, spends much of the movie slightly befuddled. He is confused and unsure of what's going on and what to do about it. Becky and Elizabeth are practically the opposite. Becky is an exceptionally passive character, merely following Miles' lead in all things and contributing little. Elizabeth, on the other hand, is intelligent and incisive: she's the first person to realize what's going on, and it is she who convinces Matthew of the threat they face, rather than the other way around. The change in name, from the diminutive "Becky" to the more respectful "Elizabeth" reflects the greater assertiveness of the '70s character. These changes are a clear reflection of the changing attitude towards women and male authority between the '50s and the '70s. Another difference is in the actions of the Pods. In the '50s versions, the "Pod People" pretend to be normal humans not just by looking like them, but also by acting like them, to the point that only an intimate or close observer can see something wrong. In the '70s version, however, they do no such thing. With one or two exceptions, the Pod People appear cold and emotionless throughout. Only the complacency and obliviousness of the human population makes it possible for them to hide that something is wrong. This difference becomes more blatant in the climax of the film, in which the heroes are captured, escape, and then are chased by a horde of Pod People. In the '50s version, the Pod People attempt to persuade the heroes to join them, explaining that the process will not hurt, that it is really a good thing for it to happen. Only after Miles tears apart their arguments and rejects them do the Pod People take forcible action. This simply takes the form of locking the heroes in with some Pods and then leaving them alone, content that it is only a matter of time before they fall asleep and are replaced. Even after the escape, the Pods attempt to persuade; the pursuers shout out that it is all right, it won’t hurt, and such things. In the remake, the Pod People aggressively burst into the room, grab our heroes, and hold them down while they are injected with sedatives. Only then is a half-hearted attempt at persuasion made, one that has more the feel of a weak justification. When the heroes escape and make a run for it, their pursuers call out weird and inhuman screeches. At the same time, the way in which the Pod People go about replacing people is displayed more blatantly. In the '50s versions, while the Pods are clearly conspiring together, said conspiracy is off-stage and unseen until near the end. In the '70s version however, they openly meet and exchange Pods in broad daylight. The greater alienness and inhumanity of the Pod People and their more blatant conspiring in the '70s version are, perhaps, due to societal changes, two in particular. First, the people of the ‘70s were more jaded about violence than those of the earlier generation. Because of this jadedness, the subtle menace of the ‘50s film would not have sufficed to terrify a ‘70s audience as was intended. Thus, the aliens were made more gruesome and inhuman, so as to increase their impact and provoke a response from the audience. The blatancy of the Pod People is due to another societal change. In the 50s, the people were afraid of invasion, infiltration, and corruption by external forces, namely the Soviet Communists. Thus, the Pod People are clearly outsiders, who seek to seduce the heroes to their side with rhetoric and propaganda…just as the Communists were believed to do. In the '70s on the other hand, during the years of detente with the Communist enemy, people were less afraid of external invasion. Instead, they feared threats from the inside. In the wake of Watergate and Vietnam, the cynical public almost expected that the government, the people in whom they were supposed to trust, were in fact conspiring against them.

#A History of Alien Invasions #A History of Alien Invasions Part I #War Of The Worlds #Invasion Of The Body-Snatchers

[celticnoise]

This is what Celtic fears could happen;

We spend big in a transfer window; instead of posting a surplus on fees – which we have in the last few years – we make an actual investment in the team and spend more than we bring in. We go into Europe and get a tough draw. We lose early, and drop from the Champions League into the Europa League. We get a tricky draw. It costs us. We lose and for the first time in over a decade we are out of both continental competitions before the Group stages. Anger at the manager for the failure swells. The club is engulfed in squabbling. The league form suffers. Fans start to desert the team. The club gets set to post major losses and the board meets to debate where to start making cuts, cuts which will weaken the squad which is already in turmoil. Fan sites start screaming for major changes and the word “boycott” is mentioned. It begins to look as if season ticket numbers will drop off, which will destabilise the club further, necessitating more cuts.

This is the House of Cards Theory King espoused. How realistic is it?

Well, let’s start with the uncomfortable fact that it could happen. It is not impossible.

In fact, when you consider how tough it is to get through to the Champions League Groups you’re really only talking about one major slip, in a single tie, before we’d be 90 minutes away from seeing our club shredded and the pieces blowing in the wind.

This is not simply King planting beanstalk beans.

Let’s look at two new theories here. The first is causality.

Where King’s grand construct falls down is that for the full scale of Celtic’s collapse to take place we have to take the initial risk and overextend. Trace the effect – Celtic’s dominance collapsing – back to the cause, and what you’d find was a club that emptied its bank to chase success and then failed.

His scenario only really becomes plausible if we’re not sitting on all that money.

If we continue to run the club sustainably – and if we have a cash surplus in the bank – we can cope with a season out of Europe without major cutting back. We could probably survive two of them in a row, and if we sold a key player in each one the club’s financial position probably wouldn’t be all that bad at the end of the second.

That cash is our insurance policy.

Let’s look at the second theory; affect heuristic.

This is what we all suffer from to a certain extent.

When we analyse a situation we do a risk versus reward calculation.

We believe this to be a rational endevour, but affect heuristic theory says we suffer from an unconscious bias by which our emotions interfere with the thought process. We ascribe a higher probability of an outcome to the things we want rather than to those we don’t, and subsequently a lower probability to things which worry us than is realistic.

Put differently, if an outcome makes us happier, or feel more secure, we asign that a greater chance of happening than one which doesn’t, and at times it doesn’t even matter if there’s evidence to support the outcome we don’t want.

Thus believing the Brexit lies – and thus voting for it – can be more easily explained.

If you ask fans what the risks are of spending more money they will minimise the potential dangers.

If you ask a board member what the risks are they are likely to overestimate them.

That’s because we care more about the team than the money in the bank whereas they have to think about all possible outcomes, and have a less optimistic view.

Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Which is the right path and which isn’t?

Who says anyone is right? Who says anyone is wrong?

To weigh the odds properly there’s another factor that has to be taken into consideration; the risk of doing less than is required. The risk that the team is run into the ground, that players who leave aren’t properly replaced and that the whole enterprise goes backwards instead of forwards.

A weaker team has less chance of going through four rounds of European qualifiers.

A weaker team has less chance of winning trophies.

A weaker team will draw less fans to the stadium.

That can also lead to a domino effect.

A House Of Cards style collapse then becomes just as likely as the surplus is eaten into in order to plug gaps in the finances.

Underinvestment costs too.

Missing out on a Champions League group stage bounty reduces our income from anywhere between £10 and £20 million.

Losing the league title means we never even get the opportunity to grab that bounty.

Failing to make nine in a row whilst vast sums sit in the bank will not be seen as a prudent decision.

It will be viewed as a disastrous one, and perhaps even as an act of sabotage.

I’m not saying I subscribe to that, but when you consider how it would look to the average fan all manner of ideas would blossom and spread. There is already a perception that this board is broadly supportive of Old Firm Inc. This would elevate that idea to the level of Fact for a lot of our supporters … and they would not forgive those running the club.

I worry that our board has become so distant from the fans that they don’t see this at all.

Our healthy bank balance and the strength of this club has been built on momentum.

That momentum has been steadily building through the last nine years, from 2012 onwards, and Lawwell can give himself all the brownie points and ribbons he wants but the truth is that the huge upturn in finances was only evident after Rodgers’ appointment.

It’s not that long ago that Celtic Park was half empty on European nights.

He would be a fool, a complete fool, to think that scenario will not be repeated. If our momentum comes to a stop, if nine fails to materialise, if we’re back to Year Zero with a financially doped club at Ibrox celebrating a title, and especially if they are adding it to those won by Rangers whilst our club sits mute having lived with the lie for seven years, that’s more than possible.

Lawwell is in real peril here. His reputation would be obliterated if this went wrong.

His standing amongst fans would drop to below that of the Kelly’s and White’s.

I said at the time that his self-congratulatory sneering at the candidates we didn’t even consider for the manager’s job was something with the potential to haunt him forevermore. It infuriated me at the time because it was so arrogant, so dismissive of very real concerns amongst fans and so cynically done … but it was also monumentally stupid, damaging both to his reputation and the club itself. He would be unable to remain here one minute more in the event Lennon fails.

Nine in a row is not just a once in a generation chance.

We did it at a time when we had an exceptional club which was the best in Europe at its peak. We also had one of the greatest managers of all time at the helm. Their own nine was won by a juiced up club living on more financial dope than has ever been administered in Scotland; at the height of it they considered trying for Ronaldo. That’s how ridiculous it got over there. That’s how large they were living, all of it unsustainable, all on the bank’s dime, in a period where that was still possible.

The chances of us ever having an opportunity like this again are between slim and none. I would estimate the possibility of it in our lifetimes at zero. I would estimate the possibility of it after we’re dead and gone at about 1%.

Nine in a row is a one shot deal. Miss it and it’s gone for good. Ten is the slate-wiper for them and the ultimate vengeance for us.

It repays everything we endured during their nine. It won’t reverse the two big lies but it will render the survival one almost moot as we close in on all their records with a better than average chance of reaching 55 before they can lay claim to it. Their much vaunted “most successful club” nonsense is placed in within reach in short order.

If we’re not prepared to challenge those lies, there will at least be some consolation in defeating them in the record books, by vaulting ahead of them anyway.

All of it is imperilled at this moment in time, and there is a growing perception that this board is dragging its feet by not doing what has to be done to ensure that all of those things don’t slip out of our grasp. I understand the board’s calculation. I do not support it. I will not endorse it. It looks smart from where they are sitting but they’ve underestimated the consequences should their gamble fail. It would plunge us into exactly the sort of crisis they want to avoid.

If they don’t put us on a sound footing for the second part of this campaign the murmurs in the stand will grow with every bad performance. If those bad performances turn into bad results and we slip behind in the title race they are going to see real fury amongst the fans before this season even ends, whilst the games are still being played.

If we fall significantly behind, that fury is going to erupt full scale until it engulfs the manager and the boardroom and especially because we shouldn’t even be here. Mistakes at the strategic level have led us to this, from the club’s total failure to press real reform on the SFA to their tolerance of some of the most toxic lies ever foisted on the game.

From the moment Sevco crawled out of Rangers grave it was blatantly obvious that the only way they were ever going to get close to us was if a board over there resorted to exactly the kind of financial skulduggery that sunk the last one like a stone.

We should have safeguarded sporting integrity in 2012, by closing that door forever.

We should have demanded the introduction of Financial Fair Play regulations, as the ultimate insurance against a similar crisis.

There is a reason they call it Financial Fair Play; it has two purposes, one of which is to stop clubs amassing huge debts which endanger them and the football associations they belong to. The other reason is that financial doping is a form of cheating. That’s why we call it doping.

What is the point in some clubs living within their means if others are allowed to overtake them by risking their own health and the wellbeing of the game itself? Their club believes that if it spends what it doesn’t have now it can recoup everything down the line if they pull us off the summit and take our place there. We know that the risks are enormous but we only get to gloat if they fail. If they succeed, then all bets are off. Everything is up for grabs.

Tonight our squad is weaker than it went into this window. Ten days in – one third of the window gone – and with our league lead all but evaporated, with a strong looking club at Ibrox capable of matching us blow by blow, we’ve gone backwards.

That is the reality of where we are this evening, and only by dealing with reality can we properly analyse the risk-versus-reward ratio. Are there risks attendant in pushing the boat out? Yes, there are. But there are risks attendant in failing to do so too, and they are far greater.

Some will say this is panicking. It is not, unless you extend that definition so that it would take in those urging the evacuation of all those Australian towns in the path of the massive fires burning over there. Moving out all those people is expensive and difficult, but it is the right thing to do. It is the rational thing to do. It is the only viable course of action. The fires may change direction and those towns might not burn to the ground. There’s a chance of that. But you wouldn’t gamble on the possibility, would you? Not with so much as stake.

This board thinks hoarding money is the safe course of action.

That’s affect heuristic in a nutshell.

Their own biases are preventing them from making the right choice here.

If those Australian fire chiefs were crossing their fingers and hoping for the best they’d lose their jobs.

The politicians endorsing that course of action would be run out of town on a rail.

You get the impression that our board might not even realise there is a problem until the flames were lapping around their ankles. We’d be in real trouble well before that though, and when the window closes our opportunity to change the course of events goes with it.

I hope to God someone is talking sense to them. I hope Lennon is screaming it at them. For he knows as well as anyone what lies at the end of the dark road down into defeat; ignominy, disgrace, the probable end of his managerial career at the top level. To forever be known as the guy who blew it. The guy who let a rookie beat him, in spite of unassailable advantages and a Treble Treble winning team. Even if the board don’t get it, he certainly does.

Our new quiz is out, where you get to be the SFA official in a number of scenarios …. click here or on the link earlier in the piece … and please share.

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