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theyaskedmeto · 3 years

Note

I’m worried about you.

for whatever ship you want

build-up

part of the milk and caffeine verse (which is now a verse!??)

pairing: kurt x blaine

summary: blaine’s still working on how to comfort kurt when it comes to this.

author’s note: just a heads up this talks a lot about kurt losing his mum so if you’re a bit wary of that and it’s not your thing this is just a quick warning !

read on ao3 or read the rest of these little fic prompt fills here

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Blaine knows he should’ve been looking out for it - he remembers what happened last year and he’s not going to let that happen again.

In some ways, it’s easy to notice how Kurt gets at this time of year, this anniversary - Blaine can see it in his demeanour - the way he moves, talks, acts - like there’s something niggling at the back of his mind and he’s trying to hide it from himself . And Blaine also notices the way Kurt gets a little more snappy than usual, notices the way he’s not as talkative as he normally is in the evenings, sometimes closing off on himself and not really ‘being around’ as much, and Blaine misses him.

It’s three days until the anniversary of the death of Kurt’s mom. Blaine can’t really blame him for his behaviour at all.

At first, he doesn’t really know how to handle the situation. For starters, he can’t even imagine what Kurt must be going through; yes, Blaine has lost people in the past too, but this is Kurt’s mom, beautiful Kurt who has lived the majority of his life without a motherly figure, and Kurt’s told him before, late at night, voice lulled and edging on sleep, how much he wonders how different his life would be if his mother was still alive, how supportive she would be when he came out to her, what her reaction would be. Kurt’s told him about how hard it was for him to come to terms with who he was when his dad didn’t know much about the subject either, going through nearly the whole of his high school career just feeling completely alone. And Blaine comforts him because it’s really the only thing that feels relative to him during those talks.

But still, they just have to push through it. Kurt has talked to him about this before, and Blaine knows how stressful it is for him, the fact that fashion week just has to overlap with the time Kurt should be getting back home to Lima to visit his mom.

“It’s just the fact that I feel like I owe it to her,” Kurt had said to him once, “I live so far away now and I should just make it home at least once a year to say hello again and remember her. And my dad needs me there, too. I… I can’t imagine what it’s like for him. He knew her more than me.”

They just have to work out how to handle this. Because it’s what Kurt needs, and Blaine cannot let him get into the state that he was in last year, completely closed off from everyone.

They try their hardest to make time for each other, but it’s hard with busy schedules, especially when Kurt’s still hurrying with the rest of his team to get ready for the spring collection - Blaine normally spends nights in Kurt’s bed alone because he’s still up sewing until late at night, stitching lace onto dresses (Blaine’s noticed there’s a big these on lace this year, much to Kurt’s chagrin). It doesn’t really help when the sound of the sewing machine is so loud Blaine just can’t stop worrying about him, when that tiny desk area in the corner of the living room that Kurt refers to as the ‘study vestibule’ becomes the most cluttered part of his small apartment.

On the good days, though, they do make it to bed together. Blaine just wishes there was more time, and he savours all of those moments with Kurt on those nights.

It’s after Kurt officially buys a ticket back to Ohio that Blaine actually faces the situation head-on. Because he should’ve been more prepared for this: that’s the first thing he thinks when he hears the sheer sound of glass breaking on the tiled kitchen floor and looks up to see Kurt, standing in front of a piece of buttered bread on the worktop, leaning against it with his head in his hands and covering his eyes, a smashed jar of peanut butter now smudged messily all over the floor.

Blaine, ears slightly ringing from the loud collision of glass with ceramic tiles, hears the way those quiet snuffles of crying break out from behind the safe shields of Kurt’s own arms, sees the way his body is jerking with the sobs, barely coherent but Blaine knows. And he drops the book he was reading on Kurt’s sofa and hurries over to him; it’s almost an instinct how he immediately curls his arms around his boyfriend’s back, whispering comfortingly in his ear, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, Kurt.” like it’s the only thing he knows how to say in that moment.

Kurt is crying over a spilt jar of peanut butter.

Blaine wishes he’d been more prepared for this.

It takes a while before Kurt actually speaks - he doesn’t say anything for a while, just breathes as the crying winds to a halt, focusing on the steady strokes of Blaine’s hand on his back. Then, when everything feels slightly calmer and he’s come to terms with loud clatters of glass hitting tiled floors, he says, “‘M sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kurt. Nothing that an E-cloth can’t solve.”

There’s a few more moments of silence, nothing but Kurt turning his head so red-rimmed cloudy eyes meet Blaine’s, and Blaine just stares back at him, the side of his lip twitching a little.

Kurt mumbles, “I just. Get like this. When it gets near-”

“I know. It’s okay. I was— I’m worried about you. I just want you to feel… happier.”

“I will be. It’s fine. It will be fine. Just… the stress, you know?”

Blaine sniffs, “Yeah. It’ll be okay.”

He strokes his back a few more times listens to the soft sound of Kurt’s breathing as he’s still leaning down on the counter on his arms, then lifts himself back upright again after giving Kurt a quick kiss to the side of his forehead, going to the sink and fetching something to wipe the lost peanut butter now strewn all over the floor up with, and soon Kurt gets back to his feet too, gives the side of his eye a little wipe with the cuffed sleeve of his sweater, goes to get a broom for the glass.

Later that night, when they’re tucked up in bed with the traumas of the bread and peanut butter incident behind them (for now), Blaine lays there with Kurt, his arm flopped over Kurt’s side, listens to him as he speaks.

“I’m sorry for being so emotional.”

“It’s fine, Kurt. She’s your mom. You’re allowed to be emotional.”

Kurt sighs, and Blaine feels it as his arm rises and falls again as Kurt’s chest does. “It’s just… the stress of getting the flight back to Ohio in time and then the reality of it all just piling on top of that and thinking of my dad and I just—”

“I know, Kurt. It’s okay. I know.” Is what Blaine says, because it’s relative to him now, he understands those words, understands how much they matter to Kurt when he didn’t really have someone to tell him that growing up. “She meant - still means - a lot to you. It’s understandable.”

Kurt says, quiet and vulnerable in the dark, “I just don’t want to be annoying for you.”

Blaine frowns, because Kurt could never, never be like that for him; Kurt’s the most interesting, fascinating person he’s ever met - the way he’s so passionate about everyone and everything he loves, the way he’ll put his heart into getting something to be perfect, how he holds the things he loves close to him and doesn’t let go, and Blaine doesn’t know what to say in response because he doesn’t know how to put his rejection of that sentence into real words, and just says, “No.” and puts all that meaning into it, because that’s how much Kurt means to him. “You could never- couldn’t ever be annoying to me.’

Kurt shuffles in his arms, turns over so he’s facing his boyfriend, “I love you.” and it’s simple, and it’s sweet, and so, so right on his lips, how he means it. Because even though Blaine might still be new to this, always learning about new antics of Kurt’s and little things about him and how to handle him when he gets like this, he somehow always has something right to say.

#elsie writes #look you lot!!! writing!!!!#vogue!kurt #barista!blaine #blaine anderson #Kurt Hummel #klaine fanfiction #glee fanfiction #masterlist #milk and caffeine

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gleefuldarrencrissfan · 4 years

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Chapter 2

Sex in the garage happened shortly after they finished putting on the rims. Actually, it was surprising that they finished putting them on. It was incredibly hot, but it didn’t include what Blaine had initially thought it would, and that was ok. As they lay post-coital in the back seat of Blaine’s Prius, Kurt gently kissed Blaine’s forehead.

“So,” Kurt bit his bottom lip tentatively. “Are you disappointed?”

“In what? The rims?”

“In me. In what we just did?”

Blaine just stared at Kurt in disbelief. “What? No. Kurt, you just bent me over my car and dominated me. I’ve never cum so hard in my life. I could never be disappointed in our sex life. You’re amazing. What we do is amazing,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt’s lips tenderly.

“But we didn’t do the rimming thing. Wasn’t that your fantasy?” Kurt dropped his gaze down so that he couldn’t see the disappointment in Blaine’s eyes.

“You’re my fantasy, Kurt. Anything we do together, intimately, is what I dream of. Do I still want to try it one day? Hell yes. But there isn’t much I wouldn’t try if you asked me to. But we have the rest of our lives for that. Besides, prep and cleanliness are essential, and right now we are filthy,” Blaine chuckled, sliding a finger through the sticky mess on his abdomen.

“Then, I want to try it. Some day. In the near future. When we have time. Definitely not in the garage,” Kurt giggled a little as Blaine’s fingers moved to his stomach, his fingers dancing in the mess they’d created there. “When did you say your parents were going on that weekend trip?

Blaine swallowed his breath. “Next weekend. “But Kurt, there’s no rush. No pressure.”

“Boo, I thought pressure might feel kinda good,” Kurt said mischievously.

The next thing he knew, he was flipped onto his back, his boyfriend sitting in between his legs, coating lube onto his fingers. “Good, because you’re about to feel some,” Blaine said, sliding a finger into Kurt’s slick heat.

Blaine had been insatiable that week. It was only Wednesday, and Kurt was exhausted. He took a sip of strong coffee as he scrolled through the article that he had been too timid to read earlier in the week.

He felt his cheeks grow dark red as he read tip two. Douching? Yes, he knew it was imperative that he be clean before they attempted this, but THAT seemed a little excessive. Then again, Blaine was going to put his tongue there, so maybe it really wasn’t that extreme.

Speaking of extreme, tip number fourteen was going to be a little awkward. Shaving, and the article suggested getting your partner to do it for you. How was he going to bring that up in conversation? “Hey baby. I need you to shave my butthole so you don’t end up flossing while you’re down there.” Kurt’s cheeks flamed red, and this was only an imaginary conversation.

He could wax. Actually, the article recommended it. He had waxed before. He had done his eyebrows and even manscaped his balls, but he’d never ventured that far back. That was something they’d have to talk about because if he was going to do this, he didn’t want to embarrass himself. And he’d have to order the wax because he was out.

He moved to the tip about lube. It suggested water-based, natural lubes. It had suggested flavored lube as well. They had tried flavored lube before, but Kurt didn’t particularly like that raspberry flavor. And he wasn’t sure that it was all-natural.

Then, there was the issue of protection. There were quite a few risks. Anal play, in general, had its risks, but the risks involved here were greater. He and Blaine had only been with each other, so the risk of STD wasn’t really an issue, but there were other things, like infections and bacteria. They could use tongue condoms, but where the hell would he find things like that.

He needed a lot of supplies. He could order the products online, but then he thought about what might happen if someone else opened the package. What if Finn or his dad opened it? Or Carole? God no. There was no way he was getting that stuff shipped to his house.

Kurt sighed. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to go to a sex shop. Kurt typed in location of sex shops and found more than one nearby, although he wasn’t sure that he wanted to go to a local one. For all he knew, he’d walk in and the person behind the counter could be a customer at his dad’s shop. Nope. No good. He couldn’t go to one in Westerville either. He’d be mortified if he ran into a Warbler or something while he was there. They probably would know Blaine. Or worse. They could know Blaine’s parents. Nope.

He soon found himself overwhelmed by the search results. He needed advice. He’d hate to drive an hour out of the way just to be unable to find what he was needing. But who should he ask? Puck might know a place, but he wasn’t discreet in the least. And there was no way in hell he’d ask Finn. He’d blab to Rachel or worse, to his dad or Carole. He could ask Sam, the former stripper, but he was also living with him right now, and he couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. Mike was nice enough, but they weren’t close enough to go to a sex shop, and Mercedes would be mortified. There was only one person to ask.

“Damn, Ladylips! I didn’t know you had it in you! But you know that you can get lube in a drug store, right? Of course you did. So, this isn’t about lube. You want some kinky shit, right?”

“God, Santana. What I buy here is none of your business. I told you I’d pay for gas and your lunch, but you have to uphold your end of the bargain. This never leaves the Navigator or I will enact my revenge on you until one of us dies. And you know I’ll do it.”

“Yeah, Rachel told us about how you replaced Finn’s axe body spray with spray adhesive. The whole Glee club thanks you for gluing his armpits shuts. I could actually breathe in the auditorium for half an hour without gagging. But anyway, you know I wouldn’t say anything.

Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “I do?”

“Look, I know I can be a bitch, but us gays gotta look out for each other. I appreciate the way you and Blaine stood up for me when I got outed, and I know that you too tried to help Britt pass her Lit class. Besides, Britt’s birthday is coming up, and I’d like to get her a dil-”

Kurt held up his hand. “Stop! I don’t want to hear it or I will replace your protein supplement with a laxative.”

“Fine. But you’ve got one hour. After that, I reserve the right to take photos and post them on your Facebook wall. Using your anniversary as your password is way too damn predictable.” Kurt shot her his bitch glare and walked through the entryway. “Wait, do you have an ID? This place is 18+ only.

Kurt pulled his fake id out of his wallet. The one that he had made and not the pathetic one Sebastian had made for him.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Somebody’s either been hitting gay clubs or he’s been to one of these places before.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. If only she knew the exact reason that he was here. She tried to get it out of him on the way here, but he just said something about all natural lube and then turned up the radio and threatened to sing show tunes the whole way if she didn’t drop it.

Surprisingly, the store was as good as Santana promised, and he left with a Persian waxing kit, a water-based lube sampler with 3 flavors, and tongue condoms. He also purchased a home enema kit from CVS when they stopped in there, using moisturizer as an excuse to stop. They made it halfway home when he had to stop for fuel. Santana remained in the car, distracted by what was in her bag. Then, he realized it wasn’t her bag.

“Santana, what the hell?”

“So, what do we have here? Brazilian wax? Tongue condoms? Flavored lube? An ass-irrigation system? Someone’s gonna eat ass!” Santana practically squealed. “Oh my God! I can’t wait to try out my new name for Blaine, assmunch.”

“Why don’t you say that a little louder. I don’t believe the attendant in the back heard you. And if you even think of calling Blaine that, I’ll make sure that everyone finds out about the time that I helped you get that stain out of your uniform. You know, that brown one right on the back of-”

“Ok, ok. Fine. I’ll come up with something else. Get it? Come up? Oh, come on and get the stick out of your ass so Plasterhead can stick his tongue up it,” Santana cackled, throwing the bag back to him.

“God, why did I ask you?” Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Because you knew I could actually answer your questions. So go ahead. Ask me. Is it awesome? Yes. Is it as awkward as hell? Yes. If it’s not with someone special.”

Kurt sighed and looked straight out the window. “Have you ever, um, tasted something gross?”

“Yeah, but I gave Puck a blowjob and that was worse than anything else I’d ever tried. I don’t know how Quinn stands it. The sweat. The hair? The gas. Disgusting! Much worse than anything else I encountered. I upchucked for a week afterward. Sue was happy. I was down two pounds that week.”

“What about flatulence? I guess I’m worried that I’m gonna-”

“Fart in his mouth? Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. It’s awkward. But that’s what the tongue condoms are for. I used them before. I don’t anymore because it just feels better. I guess the important thing is just to talk about it, up front. Beforehand. Talk about what you do and don’t want. Don’t eat anything that causes gas, I mean besides his ass,” she grinned. “And no teeth. That shit,” Santana looked away, actually appearing embarrassed for a moment. “I mean, that stuff hurts. But Kurt,” Santana grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Ha, butt! Anyway. There’s nothing like it. To make someone fall apart that way, to be so intimate. It’s amazing.”

“Thanks, Santa,” Kurt smiled. “I knew you were the right person to take with me today.”

Santana just nodded. “Just one question. Was this your idea? Or his. Because if it was yours, I win a bet I had going with Puck.”

“What? You told Puck?” Kurt’s head whipped around and he even swerved a little over the white line on the highway.

“No. I didn’t tell him. But we have talked about it after seeing you and Shortstack limp into glee after prom. He bet that you two were vanilla, spooning and all that shit, but I surmised that you, with all your sass and need to be in control, said you were probably one kinky S. O B. Was I right?”

“It was Blaine’s suggestion. It’s actually a funny story, but it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Santana cackled. “Em bare assed. I get it. But seriously, Kurt. I just saw your bag with an enema kit in it. I had it in my hands. And I told you that Britt farted in my mouth. How much more embarrassing can this conversation get?”

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lyricalbowties · 4 years

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(False) Vindication || Self Para

Tagging→ Blaine Anderson (Mentions of Sam Evans, Rachel Berry, Tina Cohen-Chang, Kurt Hummel, Sebastian Smythe) Where→ Blaine’s apartment When→ 11/17/19 Warnings→ n/a

“I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right, I swear I’m right. Swear I knew it all along and I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well, I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.” --Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional.

If Blaine thought Halloween had been the longest week of his life, he was wrong. Between dinner with Cooper and Rachel and all the things that happened with Sam, Tina, Kurt and pretty much all of his other friends, Blaine was looking forward to just having a lazy Sunday. He had made himself comfortable on the couch under a very soft weighted blanket, a large cup of coffee on his coffee table in front of him and Friends queued up on Netflix and Blaine wasn’t moving if he could help it.

No sooner than the show’s theme song started, there was a loud knock on the door which very nearly caused Blaine to throw the cup of coffee in his hand. He sighed and tried to ignore it, maybe they would go away. A few seconds pause followed by another round of loud rapping on the door.

“Ugh fine!” He groaned, setting his coffee back down and throwing the blanket off of him. He flung the door open with a very aggressive, “What?”

On the other side of the door was a young woman dressed in a Fedex uniform holding a clipboard and two packages at her feet. He blinked and his demeanor and attitude changed instantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean..can I help you?”

“Yeah, I have two packages for a Blaine D. Anderson?” She did not seem impressed with Blaine’s greeting.

“Uh, that’s me.” He replied, his cheeks a little red out of embarrassment.

“Need you to sign this.” She shoved the electronic signer at him. He flashed a small apologetic smile and took the plastic pen and scribbled his name on the screen. “Thanks. Have a good day.” Her tone suggested that she didn’t mean the sentiment.

Blaine sighed and pulled the two packages inside and closed the door behind him. He picked them up and set them on his kitchen table and instantly started to open them. It was obvious what was inside seeing as how Blaine had only ordered two things since the semester began. The first box he opened contained the Himalayan Salt Lamp in Blue. He examined the packaging reading the back of the box before taking the lamp out to look it over. He smiled a little, hoping that it would do what it was supposed to.

He set the lamp aside and moved onto the second box. It was like a miniature Christmas except he knew what he was receiving. Blaine pulled out the mini donut hole maker. He had been weirdly excited for this one. He opened the box and took it out. This was great, he could message Ryder about the item coming in so he could come over and try it out, and then of course let Sugar and Tina know that their breakfast for dinner party was on. He’d have to text Sam and let him know and wondered how it was going with the family size-He stopped midthought.

Sam.

He couldn't’ text Sam. The day before he fought with Sam which was something he had never done before. It wasn’t like a small fight either. No. This was pretty bad. Blaine had said some pretty awful things to Sam and treated him unfairly mainly because Blaine knew he was projecting onto Sam. He took all of the guilt he felt for cheating on Rachel with Sebastian, multiple times and how he still thought about Sebastian frequently and still wanted to sleep with him again, and he took it out on Sam. What Sam did was bad, yes they had covered that. He hurt a lot of people which included a number of his friends.

Blaine couldn’t apologize without an explanation. The real explanation and Blaine could not provide that to Sam. Correction, he would not provide that to Sam. He still refused to let anyone know. Anyone aside from Sebastian, that is. And the things that Sam had said back to Blaine, while ultimately true, he didn’t want to admit.

Blaine had never felt what Sam described. Not with anyone. He had slept with Sebastian but Sebastian had made it clear that emotions and sex had nothing to do with each other. And Blaine didn’t feel any strong emotional connection in the way or romance toward Sebastian after anything they did. It felt good, duh. He did have a strange fondness for Sebastian and he liked him well enough, even if Sebastian was pissed at him for being a total jackass. But he didn’t feel anything close to what Sam described in his text to him.

He hated it.

Was sex supposed to have a deep emotional connection each time? Was Blaine supposed to keep fucking anyone he could to try and find that connection that Sam clearly found in Tina? He hated Sam for being right. He hated the way he was able to pinpoint that Blaine wasn’t happy in his relationship with Rachel and hated himself for not being more convincing. And then he hated that thought of lying to Rachel the entire time.

C O N F E S S

The word still echoing in his mind. He hated that he ruined his friendship with Sam and how they wouldn’t be having their rewatch of GoT nights, the sword fighting they planned, Thanksgiving. It was ruined and maybe it was Sam’s fault. Blaine wouldn’t have said those things if Sam hadn’t treated all of their friends like free samples at the grocery store. He felt the anger and loss of losing his best friend building inside of him as he held onto the donut hole maker. Blaine was practically vibrating.

Stupid donut hole maker.

Stupid Sam.

Blaine raised the maker over his head and slammed it to the kitchen floor. He went over to one of the drawers and pulled out a meat tenderizer. He picked up mini donut hole maker and set it back on the table and took all of his frustration out on poor innocent mini donut hole maker. He slammed the metal tenderizer over and over again on the machine cracking and then shattering the plastic over. Blaine wanted it to be Sam’s fault and he kept telling himself it was Sam’s fault. Everything was because of him. He ruined it, not Blaine.

But it wasn’t true. Blaine was to blame.

He blinked and his eyes burned with tears as he continued to angrily destroy the item he spent $37.50 plus shipping and handling for. Every slam Blaine cursed another person in his head aside from himself he condemned his brother, and then Sam, his parents, and then back to himself. He even, briefly and bitterly, cursed Kurt for liking Sam and not him. It was unfair. It was uncalled for. At that point Blaine stepped back, bits of plastic everywhere.

He drew in a shaky breath and sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. Tears now steadily streamed down his face.

The truth, that Blaine still tried and wanted to refute, was that this was not any of their faults. He shouldn’t be angry with Sam but he was. He was still so angry and a part of him believed he was right. It was easier to blame others and to be angry at others.

Blaine looked down at the meat tenderizer in his hand and chucked it across the room. It sailed through the air and collided with the wall with a loud *THUD*. And as it dropped to the ground, Blaine saw a nice size hole he had successfully made in his wall.

Fuck.

He needed to get a poster to cover it and worry about what the school was going to charge him for later. His hands shook a little still angry. He ran his hand through his hair. Blaine needed to get out of the apartment and drive somewhere. Fresh air might help. God he hoped the fresh air would help.

#self para #false vindication #//helped if i changed the tagging before i posted lol

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

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Debunking

We’ve talked about this scene before- the Kurt rant given by Santana. Naya just said she was uncomfortable and she mentioned that Chris was upset. sugdendingle just posted that Chris “liked” her Tweet where she called out how much she didn’t like it. She added a second comment that includes:

sugdendingle

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some....I’m talking about real life here. About how Ryan Murphy and his writers used the character of Kurt to personally attack Chris Colfer on a regular basis and it’s clear Chris agrees to some extent as he liked my tweet.

That scene in season six was one of the worst examples but hardly the only one. Chris not being traditionally masculine was like a running joke on that show. As was remarks about his voice, his appearance, his sexuality, how he danced, etc. Yes other characters faced insults but it never got as personal as it did with Chris and it wasn’t as extensive either. The insults to Kurt went on right to the end of the show you can’t say the same for the other characters. It’s just really sad that Chris had to endure a work enivorment like this especially considering he was bullied when he was younger.

Abby adds:

My opinion. The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons. And of course c’s refusal to do as he’s told.(X)

Debunk #1

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. Was Chris harassed by the writers “more than any other character”? I spent a few minutes looking at Santana’s rants-and Santana seems to be the ranter on Glee. I don’t believe her rants about Chris’s failings is any worse than she she said about Finn’s weight. Rachel or really Lea’s nose being too big had an entire episode-and several comments through the years- and Kurt staged a flashmob at the mall to talk her out of plastic surgery. Sam was called Trouty Mouth as a running joke including a song “Trouty Mouth” sang by Santana.

“Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or to moisten a enormous stamp for a lazy giant you take on step closer to everyone seeing that you’re actually a dork” (X)

“I just heard the news that Trouty Mouth was back in town. I’ve been keeping a notebook, just in case this day ever came. Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I’ve missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth and skipped town. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn’t find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you’ve been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infants’ heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you’re back. I haven’t seen a smile that big since the acclamation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana” (X)

This gets loooonnnngggg so under a cut

This one she also hit at Tina’s Asian eyes and Rachels nose- though I didn’t include that part.

Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things we don't want to change about ourselves? I'm sure that Sam has been at the doctor's office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reductions. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyway. And I'm definitely sure Tina has looked into eye de-slanting. Tina: That's extraordinarily racist. Santana: Just keeping it real. Tina: Sorry Santana, I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself and I would never change a thing. Mike: Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina? [whispers] Self hating Asian. Tina: Not too many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to mirror what I see in magazines. Finn: My dancing kind of bothers me. It almost killed Rachel but I like the way I look. Santana: Oh please. You have weird puffy pyramid nipples. Sam: [tries to look at Finn's nipples] Finn: [slaps Sam's hand away] Santana: They look like they're filled with custard. Or you could dust them off with powdered sugar and pass it off as some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel is fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it.”(X)

“I’ve kissed Finn, and can I just say… not worth a buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs”. (X)

Santana: “Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I’m trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I’m sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. And I’m also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you’re getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you’ve been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel’s coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I’d stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights.” (X)

Santana: “Why is everyone staring at me like I’m Finn and I just won a butter eating contest” (X)

She even hit him during The Quarterback “Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God but I am convinced that Squishy Teets is up in heaven right now plopped down next to his new best friend Fat Elvis helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and TaterTot grease so this is for you Hudson” (X)

She also did a combo Finn/Sam rant “Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rig cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python…” (X)

The Kurt rant

“Kurt I took what you said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gentrophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out about your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, "You know what I don't want to marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it."(X)

Conclusion: Chris was not attacked more than other actors on Glee. The writers were pretty vicious about the physical characteristics of Rachel’s nose, Finn’s weight and man boobs and Sam’s nose. They also wrote about Damian’s height referring to as Leprechaun. All are very personal attacks about the actor; not the character. Finn’s boobs were used as fodder for humor after he died so the idea that no other character was humiliated throughout the show is untrue.

Debunk #2

I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some. Ryan didn’t write Santana’s vicious lines-Brad Falchuk did. I spent enough time researching this and finding late-season interview is hard but earlier interviews show that Ryan really respected Chris and Kurt.

Ryan did an interview with NYT in 2010 Q:Is this story in any way autobiographical or a reflection on your own experiences growing up?

A:It wasn’t really true to my experience at all. But I know so many people that it was true to. It was very true to Chris Colfer’s experience, and working with him for the past year, he would tell me stories. It’s amazing to me — last year when we did the “Glee” tour, every time Chris Colfer came out on that stage for his bows, 100 percent, he got the loudest cheers and applause, from all groups of people. Little girls, parents. A lot of people have embraced him and he’s part of their television-going family, so to see an episode in which he’s physically threatened is very upsetting for people, I think. But it puts a face on it.

Q: It’s still rare to see gay characters on prime-time network programs, let alone one who is out in the way that Kurt is, and at a young age. Is there ever any pressure on you to tone down the portrayal of that character?

A: No, surprisingly not. Three episodes into the series last year, when we did the “Single Ladies” football number with him, he became an audience favorite and people started to write about that character and Chris Colfer. I think that character is in many ways the most important character on television, particularly for kids. When I was growing up, there was nobody like that. I think that character changes lives. I think that character launches conversation, both good and bad, and that’s a very powerful thing. I’ve done shows where if a character is a little bit controversial, the network and the studio are like, “Could you please tone that down?” They never did that at all with this character, and they were all very supportive of the story line. (X)

“Growing up in Indianapolis, Murphy sang in his church choir and immersed himself in high school musicals. His father was a semi-pro hockey player who was baffled by a son who requested a Vogue subscription when he was 5 years old and performed in his bedroom, holding a hairbrush in front of a mirror. He may not have understood his son, but he accepted him, even when Murphy revealed that he was gay at 15″.

“Having a dad that loves you as a young man is a very powerful thing that you carry into the world,” Murphy said. “Because no matter what you do, in some weird, unconscious way, if you’re a guy, you always try to please your dad. I think it’s a great thing to put on television. You’ve seen the gay character that gets kicked out of the house or is beaten up. You haven’t seen the gay character that is teased a little bit, but wins and triumphs.”

“The scene in which he tells his father was taken verbatim from Murphy's own life. Murphy felt that the scene was "a great thing to put on television", because, while gay characters are often isolated and attacked, audiences have rarely seen an openly gay character who "wins and triumphs". He further explained, "The show is about making you feel good in the end. It's about happy endings and optimism and the power of your personal journey and making you feel that the weird thing about me is the great thing about me. I've done other shows with gay characters, and I will say that in many of those cases, the gay characters didn't have a happy ending. And I thought you know what? Enough."(X)(X)

We also know that Ryan created the role of Kurt specifically for Chris.

We don’t know what happened with the fall out(s) on set. Chris said he wouldn’t work for Ryan and

“To this day, I'm devastated by everything that happened with that show." (X)

Other interring things I found:

“Over the course of six seasons of Glee, which petered out earlier this year, there was plenty written about backstage drama, fractured relationships and the death of star Cory Monteith from a drug overdose. All Murphy will offer are his own misgivings about his role on the show. "I was there with them all day long, and then we'd finish work and we'd go out and have fun all night, and I guess in a weird, twisted way, I was trying to relive the childhood I never had," he says. "I thought they wanted a parent, and they didn't. They didn't want me to tell them what to f—ing do. They didn't want me to tell them how to treat each other or what the world was like at the end of the day. I wish I could go back and do that differently with a lot of those actors. Some of them I'm still very close to: Lea Michele, Chord Overstreet, Darren Criss — but there were some that didn't work out well, and I regret that. I guess I just wish I had been able to let them figure it out for themselves."(X)

Conclusion: Ryan is a grown man and didn’t have it out for Chris. He respected Chris and used the Kurt role to tell his story of being a gay boy in small midwest town.

Debunk #3

The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons.

Abby has claimed Ryan is jealous of Chris many times over the years-it still isnt’ true. Ryan is a very successful producer, writer, creator. I found a few quotes to back that up.

“It's a peculiar thing to be asked by Murphy, 50, the closest thing the TV industry has to a proven hitmaker, save, perhaps, for Shonda Rhimes. Over the past decade and a half, he's made pop-culture juggernauts out of plastic surgeons on Nip/Tuck, high school misfits on Glee and witches, nuns and nymphomaniacs on American Horror Story. And in that time, he's become a name brand himself, more famous than all but the biggest stars in his sprawling casts. The showrunner, both pop savant and provocateur, has one of the richest eight-figure deals in television and a coterie of loyalists that includes Gwyneth Paltrow(with whom he's about to pitch a musical dramedy), Julia Roberts, Jessica Lange and now Lady Gaga. He's hosted President Obama at his home for a $40,000-a-couple fundraiser, and when he mentions his friends Norman, Barbra and David, he's referring to Lear, Streisand and Geffen.(X)

"There's a limited number of creators in film or TV where if you put the title plus their name — if you say, 'Steven Spielberg's blah blah blah' or 'Marvel's blah blah blah' — you're going to get a different answer than if you don't," Landgraf says, "and Ryan is one of those guys."(X)

Chris is a successful writer and if he is successful in writing and directing the TLOS movie, he could be a power player in Hollywood. But right now- even with his Time 100 award, he isn’t anywhere near Ryan Murphy. I suppose Ryan could be jealous of something other than Chris’s success but I have seen no evidence of that.

Conclusion: Nope.

#cc #ccer #ccers #cc fandom #cc family #cc blog #crisscolfer #darren criss #santana rant

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axelsagewrites · 6 years

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How you met-Glee Preference

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

Artie

It was winter in his freshman and the ramp was frosty, making it harder for him to wheel up. You were walking in with your sister, Quinn when you saw his struggle. You quickly said 'bye' and walked to Artie. "Hey, do you want a hand?"

He looked at the ground, embarrassed, but muttered a 'yes'. You wheeled him up and held the door for him. "Thanks. You're the first person to stop and help me."

"No problemo. I'm (Y/N)."

"Artie." You smiled but saw your friends so waved Artie goodbye but you had definitely left an impression.

Blaine

You were at Lima Bean getting (Y/F/D) after a hard day at school. Mr Shue had been sick so Rachel tried to take over. Let's just say you had a huge headache afterwards.

You had just ordered your drink as you looked through your bag for your wallet. "Where in the hell is it?" You muttered to yourself. You cheeks went red as you heard the man behind the counter tut and sigh.

"You dropped this." You turned to see a man in a blazer holding out a $10 bill. You froze for a second till he pressed the note into your hand. 'Thanks' you mutter as you handed the cashier the money.

After you got your drink you sat at a table, eyes never leaving your saviour. A couple minutes later blazer boy sat at your table. "Hey." He greeted.

"Hi," You spoke, cheeks red."Thanks for that. It was sooo embarrassing."

"I get it," he chuckled. "Forgot your wallet. Could happen to anyone."

"I swear I had it." You proclaim, glaring at your bag. You began to rummage through your bag again and he laughed. "Ugh." At that moment your phone buzzed. After reading the text you grit your teeth. "I'm going to kill him."

"What?"

"My cousin, Finn, 'borrowed' my wallet to take his girlfriend on a date. How am I meant to pay you back?"

"Don't." He plucked the phone from your hand and began typing on it. You raised an eyebrow so he explained. "Heres my number and next time, you can buy my drink."

Kurt

You had seen Kurt around McKinnley but hadn't spoken to him. Until your neighbour and friend, Mike dragged you to glee club. "I can't even sing." You whinned.

"Neither can I. Oh come on it'll be fun." He tried to convince you as you stood next to the door to glee. Kurt walked into glee, saying a quick 'hi' to Mike. "Ok, you have to join now." He said, noticing your eyes following Kurt. "You like him."

"Screw you." But you walked in any way.

Mr Shue looked up. "Whose this?"

"This is (Y/N). Their an amazing dancer and want to join." I glared at him for his words. He grinned and added. "and they can kinda sing." I elbowed him for that.

"Show us what you can do," Kurt spoke. Mike winked at you but you two danced together anyway. After your dance, you were panting slightly and the glee club clapped. "You have to join." Kurt proclaimed.

"Welcome to glee." Mr Shue patted your shoulder and you and Mike took a seat. "Now this week assignments is 'beats you can move your feet to'." He started writing on the board.

Kurt turned to you. "Want to be my partner, newbie?"

"Totally."

Mike

You and Mike were both in glee club together. You didn't really talk, like at all, but you couldn't help but notice he was cute AF. You and Mercedes had just grabbed lunch and were looking for a table. She noticed some of the glee guys (Mike, Puck, Finn, Sam) sitting at a table so she winked at you and basically dragged you over. She knew about your little crush and said she shipped it.

"Hey guys, can we sit?" She asked. Finn nodded and they kept talking. Mercedes beelined to the seat next to Sam so you had to sit next to Mike. She sent you a wink though.

You went to sit down and Mike pulled your chair out for you. "Hey." He greeted.

"Hi." Your conversation went quiet for a couple moments. "The dance you did yesterday was awesome." You internally cringed but he smiled brightly.

"Really? Thanks. Oh, and you should have totally got that solo. Rachel gets them all."

"I know." You complained, started your lunch. "It's so irritating. You excited for the assignment."

"Yeah, kinda. Its good to dance but I've got no vocals." He sulked slightly. "Cause, I know I could do a cool routine but I feel like it needs a voice."

"Why don't you two pair up?" Mercedes suggested.

"Sure, you in?" Mike asked. You nodded and internally did several summersaults. Little did you know Mike was doing the same.

Puck

You avoided Puck like the plague. He was a bully and he and his friends had thrown your brother, Kurt, into a dumpster for ages. You didn't get why Kurt would be in a club with him but knew he loved music. Either way, you avoided him.

You hadn't even spoken to him until one fateful day. You and your friends were sitting, chatting at a lunch table when you felt a slushie roll down your back. You gasped at the cold drink as you began to hear laughs. You turned round to see Puck standing behind you with a shocked look on his face, holding an empty cup. He tried to say something but you were too quick and ran away.

You had never been slushied before so you ended up crying and running to find your brother. "Oh, what happened?" He exclaimed as he saw your soaked t-shirt.

"Puckerman." Kurt grabbed the spare clothes he had in his locker and guided you to the nearest bathroom.

Kurt's clothes were more...flamboyant than yours so you felt slightly weird in his white trousers and pink shirt. "I can't believe he did this to you," Kurt said as you washed your face, trying to erase the tears.

"Well, he did. I saw him, cup handed."

It was later that day as you were passing glee club when you spoke to Puck. You were heading to the library and he saw you pass by so sprang out his seat and ran after you.

"I am so sorry." He began as he quickly caught up with you. "I tripped, I swear I didn't mean to."

"Yeah right." You muttered as you turned away.

He grabbed your shoulder and you couldn't help but flinch. "Oh my god, you're scared of me." He muttered.

"No wonder. You tossed my brother in the trash every day."

"You're a Hummel?" You nodded. "Huh. Well, I promise I didn't mean to. Ask Finn, he was with me. He tried to jokingly trip me and next thing you know..." He gestured to your new clothes.

You sighed. "I need to go." You didn't know whether or not to believe him. But for once, Puck had said the truth. It really was an accident.

Rory

You had transferred to McKinley a year before Rory so principle Figgins called you into his office. "(Y/N)" He greeted. You couldn't help but notice the cute boy in green, awkwardly sitting in the room. "This is Rory, an exchange student from Ireland. He's been staying with Brittany Pierce," You nodded, still not understanding why you were here. "Since you know what its like, being new and all, I was thinking you should show him around."

"But sir, I'm busy with glee. Why can't Brittany show him?"

"Take him with you. C'mon (Y/N). Look at the boy. He needs guidance. You know what Brittany is like." You did. She'd end up dying his hair green or accidentally locking him on the rood. "You, however, are just the person. You know how hard it was when you came here." He tried to convince you.

You sighed. "Sure." He was right, you did know. Within your first week, you had been slushied and your accent mocked. "Cmon Leprechaun. Let's get to class."

"I'm not a leprechaun." You almost swooned at his accent.

"I know, but Brittany doesn't. She's been going on about the 'little green man' living with her."

"Oh." He quickly grabbed his stuff and you left the office.

"Let's see your timetable." He handed it over and you saw you shared first. "Oh, great, were in Spanish together. We've got Mr Shue, he's the glee coach here. He's great." You briefly told him about his teachers and he listened intently.

"Bit of advice," he nodded. "avoid Sue, bitch is cra-cra. The hockey team are all idiots. The football teams not much better. Avoid Jacob or he'll shove a camera in your face. If someone walks towards you with a slushie, walk the other way."

"Why?" The timing was perfect as you saw some cocky kid walking over with a slushie. As he began to throw it, you smacked it out his hand. It splashed the lockers next to Rory who jumped.

You shoved the kid into the slushie covered locker and pinned him against the locker. "What have I told you about slushie-ing, my friends?" The kid, Jordan, nodded scared. "If I see you do it again I'll drown you in the slushie." You let go of Jordan and he scurried off.

"Woah." Your attention was brought back to Rory who was staring at you. "You're tough."

"Yup. I got sick of being slushied. Stick with me and you'll be fine." You sent a wink to Rory and began to walk to class. It took the Irish man a moment before he hurried after you.

Santana

Santana was...crazy. You had initially agreed to join glee but changed your mind when you found out some cherios were in it. Your sister, Rachel, wouldn't take no for an answer.

After weeks of her whining 24/7, she somehow managed to get you to join. "Everyone, this is (Y/N) Berry-"

"Oh great," Santana cut Mr Shue off. "Another Berry."

You glared at her. "Got something to say?" She didn't expect your reply so was caught off guard for a moment. "Good. Rachel may be incredibly annoying-"

"Hey!"

"But it's my job to insult her. Not yours." You took your seat next to Rachel.

"Okay," Mr Shue spoke slowly. "Let's just start. Okay?" You all nodded and began the lesson.

Santana was glaring at you for the whole period. You just glanced at her and rolled your eyes. After the bell went Santana caught up with you. "Hey, Berry 2"

"What?" You were sassy, she could tell that by your crossed arms and stance. She wouldn't admit it but she was sick of no competition and no one to shot insults back at her. She loved bantering but no one at glee had the guts or the patience.

"Well done," She complemented with a twisted smile. "your the first one to stand up to me. Don't get used to it though, I'll crush you."

"Bring it on."

She did live up to her words just not how she expected. Soon after that conversation, you both had a crush on each other.

Sebastian

You had heard about Sebastian from your friend Kurt. He told you about how he was trying to steal his boyfriend and everything else. Later that day Santana also talked to you about him as he had interrupted her, Kurt, Mercedes and Blaine's convo at the lima bean. To say you already disliked him would be an understatement.

Sebastian had decided to take it up a notch so he and some warblers headed over to McKinnley. He wanted to stir the pot and spy on the New Directions and maybe to insult Kurt some more.

When they arrived Sue saw them and instantly asked why they were there. Sebastian said that Mr Shue had invited them so she told them to head to the auditorium.

They entered silently but it happened to be during a performance. Yours. Well, not only yours. You, Mike, Santana, Quinn and Tina had decided to perform Dirty Little Secret. You sang lead with the girls as back up. Puck and Artie played the guitar while Finn was on drums.

It wasn't a serious performance, just something you had made up for fun, so the rest of the glee club ended up joining you on stage. You all just wanted to have some fun. Even Rachel came up.

After the song finished you were all smiling when you began to hear clapping. You all looked to see some warblers walking to the stage. A cocky looking boy leads them. He spoke first "Well who would have guessed at least one of them have talent?"

"You're Sebastian arent you?"

"The one and only." He proclaimed.

You grabbed a water bottle and drank, not without muttering "Explains a lot."

"What was that?" You just shrugged your shoulders.

Kurt glared at him. "What do you want?"

"Calm down little girl." Kurt rolled his eyes. "We just wanted to see the competition. It's not illegal."

You leaned over and said to Kurt "What I'm about to do is."

"Have we ever even met? Why the hate?" He mocked hurt.

You glared at him. "Mess with my friends, mess with me."

"Oh, I'm scared." The warblers chuckled for some unknown reason. "Why are you friends with them? You could do so much better with a face like that." He had a smug look.

The new directions didn't say anything. Normally you were passive, fun, carefree maybe even a little shy but when someone challenged your friends... well let's just say they didn't stand a chance.

"What? Are you jealous since I actually have friends?" You asked. "Jealousy isn't a good look. Though you don't look good either way." You heard a couple glee members chuckle.

Sebastian glowered at you. "Honey, I ain't-a mirror. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit coming out your mouth." It's a good thing Mr Shue had left to talk to Emma.

"Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. Besides at least you'll be safe if there is a zombie apocalypse, they only eat brains." You could see him grit his teeth.

"Oh was I meant to be offended? They only offensive thing is that outfit."

"If I wanted to deal with a bitch, I would've got a dog."

"Funny, I thought you'd want to be with your kind."

"At least I ain't as ugly as your personality."

"Sorry, say that again. I couldn't hear you over the smell of peasant."

"Keep on talking, maybe you'll say something intelligent."

Mr Shue walked in at that moment but no one looked at him. All the glee club was looking at you and Sebastian. "Whats going on here?"

"Nothing, we were just leaving," Sebastian stated, eyes on you.

Later on, your choice of song was comical to him because two weeks later you were his dirty little secret.

#glee imagine #artie abrams imagine #artie abrams #blaine anderson #blaine Anderson imagine #kurt hummel #kurt hummel imagine #mike chang #mike chang imagine #puck #noah puckerman imagine #noah puckerman #rory Flanagan imagine #rory flanagan #Santana lopez #Santana lopez imagine #Sebastian smythe #Sebastian smythe imagine #glee preference

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lady-divine-writes · 7 years

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Klaine one-shot - “A Cheesy Proposal” (Rated PG)

Kurt and Blaine are shopping for cheese for their first ever official dinner party in their brand new apartment, when something unexpected happens in the middle of the dairy aisle that not only changes their party plans, but their lives. (1383 words)

Just fluff. Inspired by the post http://ship-to-w-r-e-c-k.tumblr.com/post/164380618454 and assumes that Blaine moves to New York to live in the loft with Kurt after he graduates from high school, but that his proposal at Dalton or his relationship with Karofsky never happened.

Read on AO3.

“So, we have cheddar …”

“Check.”

“Monterey jack.”

“Check.”

“Pepper jack.”

“Check,” Blaine answers, moving food items from one end of the shopping cart to the other as Kurt names them off his mental shopping list.

“Blue, goat, and gouda.”

“Check, check, and check.”

“Great. All we need is brie and crackers, and we’re all set.”

“Got it.” Blaine continues down the aisle towards a display containing soft cheeses, festooned with plastic pumpkins and fake leaves in preparation for colder weather holidays. But Kurt and Blaine have a different cause to celebrate. Tomorrow night they would be hosting their first official dinner party in their brand new apartment. Their apartment, not the loft that, even though it was an amazing space for an amazing price, never really felt like home to Blaine. This apartment was their place. They chose it together. It belonged to the two of them in equal parts. And even though it was smaller by probably half the square footage and more expensive by several hundred dollars, Blaine couldn’t be happier. This was another first to mark off the list, the most important bucket list of all - the one they created to commemorate their life together.

They’d start with the apartment, and then, in a few months from now, when they were settled with school and their jobs and each other, Blaine would ask Kurt to marry him.

With any luck, the pain of their past would be far enough behind them that Kurt would say yes.

“No, wait. Didn’t Sam mention wanting to try …?”

“Oh yeah.” Kurt frowns. “He wanted that tacky fruit-and-nut cheese, didn’t he? That’s neon orange and comes in a ball?”

“Yeah.” Blaine chuckles, recalling the abject horror on Kurt’s face when Sam first mentioned it. But they’re pulling out all the stops for this dinner. They want to include a little something special for every guest, which is why they’re buying a six-pack of Rachel’s latest obsession – coconut mango flavored Chia Vitality beverage, and a box of Franzia sunset blush for Brittany.

Kurt originally turned his nose up at the idea of buying wine that comes in a box. He lives by the adage that friends don’t let friends drink boxed wine, while Blaine sees it as an adult version of Capri Sun.

But Santana says Brittany thinks wine tastes fancier when it comes from a box, so boxed wine it is.

“Do you think we look for it under ‘cheese balls’ then?” Blaine asks, snickering at his own question.

“No. It has some weird name. I texted it to myself.” Kurt reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out his phone, but something else falls out. A small, leather box hits the ground with a dull thump. The second it does, both men’s eyes dart to it – Blaine’s with curiosity, and Kurt’s with fear. With the same thought in mind, they both reach for it.

Blaine gets to it first.

“Kurt?” He holds the box up, examining it for any indication that it’s anything more than an empty old box. If he hadn’t been paying attention, he might have written it off as the box to the promise ring he had given Kurt back in high school, the one he’d made from chewing gum wrappers. Kurt used to carry it around with him everywhere. But that box was red.

This one is black.

“Kurt? What is this?”

“Oh, that?” Kurt reaches for it, but, without Blaine making a move to keep it, he pulls his hand away. “It’s just a … it’s kind of a …”

“Kurt” – Blaine is on the brink of opening it, but he doesn’t want to. Not without permission. If Kurt just lets him open it, it might not be what Blaine thinks it is.

What he hopes it is.

“Is this a …?” He runs his thumb over the lid, the edges a little worse for wear, as if Kurt has been carrying it around in his bag along with his school books for quite some time. Kurt looks at Blaine’s face, contemplating how to get out of this quickly, painlessly, and more importantly, honestly, but he can’t figure out a way around it. He didn’t think he’d have to come up with an excuse for this, not now, and not here in the middle of the deli department. He looks into Blaine’s hope-filled eyes and sighs.

“Yes. It’s an engagement ring.”

Blaine’s hand holding the box trembles, as if the weight of what’s inside has suddenly become too much for him. “H-how long have you had this?”

“Well, I … actually, I bought it the day I moved to New York.” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand in his. “After my plane landed, I went wandering the city streets, thinking about how much my life was going to change, and how much I wanted you to be a part of that change because being in the city of my dreams, working towards getting on Broadway, it wouldn’t be as much fun without you.” Kurt uncurls Blaine’s fingers from the box, but Blaine is reluctant to let go of it. Now that he knows it exists, he doesn’t want to give it up. But Kurt doesn’t put the box away. He lifts the lid, revealing the most beautiful white gold filigree ring Blaine has ever seen, set with sapphires in the center of the swirls. It’s simple but elegant, and perfect in absolutely every way. “I was walking past a pawn shop when I saw this in the window.” Kurt glances down at it, laughing nervously at the memory, but also at the reality of presenting Blaine this ring in the middle of the supermarket, with a small crowd of onlookers gathering. “It kind of leaped out at me. I couldn’t stop looking at it, couldn’t stop picturing it on your finger. I knew right then that I could search the rest of my life and never find a more perfect ring. It reminded me of how you came into my life, out of the blue, and how I knew from that moment I would never meet a more perfect person for me.”

“Do you still believe that? E-even after everything?” Blaine asks in disbelief, not going so far as to divulge the dirty details in front of their impromptu audience.

“Even after everything,” Kurt says with a small smile. “It may sound silly or naïve, but I knew it would be you. In a year from now or ten years from now, it would always be you. And once I came to terms with that, everything else fell into place.”

Blaine looks at the ring, its sapphires twinkling beneath the bright market lights, and swallows hard. “Kurt, I …”

“Just tell me, before we make a scene …” Kurt gets down on one knee, lunging instead on kneeling so as not to ruin his jeans “… would you …?”

“Yes!” Blaine exclaims, holding out his hand so Kurt can slip the ring on his finger. “Yes! Absolutely, yes!” He grabs Kurt’s upper arms and helps him up, then throws his arms around him and kisses him. Normally, Blaine wouldn’t kiss Kurt in public. They’re cautious about even holding hands. But he can’t help himself. Not after that speech, and what has to be one of the happiest moments of his young life. Not when all he can hear is Kurt moaning into his mouth, and the modest but gleeful applause billowing around them.

“How about we go home and celebrate in private?” Kurt suggests, opting to cut their kiss short when he remembers that they’re not entirely alone in the cheese aisle.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Blaine says, happy to abandon their shopping and head for the nearest exit. They walk three feet past a line of beaming shoppers, still wrapped in each other’s embrace, when Kurt stops short and spins with Blaine still latched to his arm.

“Wait!”

“What?”

“We still need to buy cheese for the party!”

“Except now it can be a housewarming-slash-engagement party,” Blaine points out.

“Which means …”

“We should buy another box of wine.”

“Absolutely,” Kurt says, steering them back towards the alcohol with Blaine’s arm in his. “If one box is fancy, two will put us over the top!”

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine #frankie writes

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seeroftodayandtomorrow · 6 years

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The Prince and the Moon God

Chapter 9

Read on AO3

They are on the move once more, and Blaine stand sat the railing, looking into the direction they're going. Even though he knows it will be some weeks until they reach their destination, he keeps trying to see the Isle of the Moon in the distance, constantly expecting it to rise up on the horizon. He looks to it with equal dread and relief.

The journey has become stranger. During the day, they go at a normal pace, as slow or as fast as the wind lets them, and Blaine can't see much progress as he watches, as around them, once they have left the harbor, there is nothing but the sea. At night, though, they seem independent of the wind. The ship rocks, the sea is wild, and still they go faster than Blaine has ever experienced.

He wants to ask questions, but doesn't. The atmosphere on the ship doesn't seem to allow it. Everyone is tense, working in silence broken only by sharp, short commands. He hardly sees Kurt. They still share the stateroom, but Blaine is in it at night and Kurt during the day. Breakfasts have stopped, as Kurt goes to sleep as soon as dawn rises, to rest from whatever it is he does at night.

Blaine feels more out of place than ever, even at the very beginning of their voyage. And now, he doesn't even have a place he can go to in order to not be in the way and also to not feel quite so very alone, because it becomes more apparent whenever he sees the others working together as a group he can never be part of.

But he has forgotten there is one other who is in a similar situation—on the ship, but not part of the crew. He sees Brittany climbing the rigging, quick and nimble and fearless, and sitting far above them with her hair fluttering in the breeze. She looks free and somehow more than human, like a being of the air and the sea without ties to earth.

After a few days of watching, he finds the courage to join her.

His soles have gone supple and leathery from going barefoot, and his palms are work-roughened, but he still has a hard time climbing. The rigging digs into his hands and feet, and it sways and moves the whole time. He is sweaty and terrified by the time he reaches the top, clinging to the ropes for dear life.

“Hi,” Brittany says.

“Hello,” Blaine pants. “Can I...can I join you?”

“Sure.” She even scoots over, without holding on to something.

Blaine sits down slowly, carefully, taking some time to sort his limbs and find what is left of his equilibrium. He looks down once, by accident, and has to swallow. He grabs the ropes so tightly his knuckles are white.

“Oh,” he says. “Oh.”

He is dizzy and scared, and he is scared of being scared. How will he ever manage to cut his own wrists if he can't even face a little height? He can't be afraid of dying. He has to die.

“You look terrified,” Brittany says.

“I am terrified,” Blaine admits.

“So why didn't you stay down there?”

“I don't know. You looked...like you were happy up here. Light, and free. Not really human anymore.” His thoughts sound strange when he says them out loud, but Brittany just smiles.

“I'm not. I'm with Santana now. I'm growing more like her every day.”

Blaine doesn't know what to say to this, so he is silent. He tries to be not so terrified anymore, to sit more comfortably. He looks around, tries to find some of the freedom he thought would be here.

It's not there. There's only wind, and sun, the screeching of the seagulls, and Brittany.

“Are you happy to be here?” he asks awkwardly.

She shrugs. “I'm happy I'm with Santana. But she's always sad now.”

“Why is she sad?”

Brittany leans forward, her elbows resting on her thighs. Her legs are swinging. Blaine gets dizzy just from looking at her, and he grips the ropes tighter.

“Because the captain is sad, and angry. That's why the ship is rocking so much at night, and everyone else is sad as well. Particularly Santana.”

“What are you talking about?”

Brittany sighs and looks at him as though he's deliberately obtuse. “The captain and the crew and the ship, they're all one. So if the captain is sad, the crew gets sad, and the ship gets sad.”

Blaine doesn't really understand more than before, so he focuses on the one thing he does understand. “Why is the captain sad?”

“I'm not sure. Santana thinks it's because of you.”

Blaine nods. It's no more than he had feared. He has brought the whole ship into danger; of course Kurt is angry. But why sad? Maybe Brittany has misunderstood.

He tries for a grin, and feels it slipping off his cheeks, dropping down to the deck and breaking into a thousand pieces. His voice breaks as well as he says, “Well, I'll be gone soon. Then he won't be angry anymore.”

“Of course he will. It'll be even worse, because you'll be gone.”

Blaine climbs down soon after, his legs shaking and his mind shaken. He doesn't know what to think anymore, can make no sense at all of Brittany's remarks. He is no stranger to magic, has grown up under its shadow all his life, but this...? The captain, the ship and the crew are one? He has never heard of a spell like this and can't even imagine why one would want to cast it. Their journey is strange, yes. He's never been on a ship before, but he knows they don't just go faster at night and rock when there is neither wind nor waves. But...he just can't wrap his mind around it, and so, as the day goes by and he either sits in the galley or is up on deck trying to be in nobody's way and miserable no matter where he is, he eventually stops trying.

He should be past caring, he tells himself. None of it matters anymore; in a few weeks—and as fast as they are going, it can't be more than two or three at the most—they'll reach their destination. There's no need to worry what Kurt may think of him because he will be gone...he will be dead. And Kurt will forget him and go on.

If he must think, there are other things to think about. For example, why the amulet never stops buzzing, vibrating against his skin all the time. He knows it's glowing, too, though he doesn't dare unwrap it. And there are still the strange words of the inscription that he is sure are important, but he still doesn't know what they mean.

He worries a little about that, but his thoughts keep returning to Kurt, and in the end, at nightfall, he stands at the stairs and watches Kurt emerge from his cabin.

He looks tired, as always these days, but there is still a little glow to him, and when he walks past Blaine with barely a nod, the amulet against Blaine's chest trembles so much his shirt moves with it, and he has to clutch a hand above it to keep it still.

Kurt walks up to the railing, to the wheel, and looks out into the dusk, at the rising moon. He says a few words to Santana but then turns around to Blaine, who is still standing on top of the stairs even though he knows he should go downstairs to avoid things getting awkward.

Kurt looks back at him with the smallest of smiles, but there is so much heartbreak and loneliness in his eyes that it makes Blaine's breath hitch. He doesn't know what caused that look, if it was him, but he knows he would do anything to make it go away. It doesn't matter if he has to go soon; as long as he's here, he wants to try and make things better. He doesn't quite know how, but he knows he'll have to try.

Because as he lies in bed that night, the ship has stopped rocking. Cold and loneliness seem to permeate every plank. It chills him to the bone, and he knows that every person on this ship feels the same. And if they are all, like Brittany said, somehow tied to Kurt, he is the only one who can make it better.

The next morning, not too early, he takes a deep breath for courage and knocks on Santana's door. He hopes she isn't asleep: he has never been able to determine when, if at all, she is asleep. She certainly always seems to be around when someone makes a mistake. And he has made a mistake, and can only hope she won't take him down as deep as he deserves.

As she opens the door, she is dressed, alone and doesn't even seem overly unhappy.

“I expected you earlier,” she says by way of greeting and motions for him to come in and sit down on her clothing chest.

He gives an inner head shake and decides not to wonder how she knew he would come. There are too many things going on here he doesn't understand; he'll go mad if he wonders about all of them.

“What do I do?” he asks instead. If she knew he'd come he has no doubt she knows why he's here, and anyway, it's not so hard to guess. The situation on the ship is one really, really giant elephant in—well, on the ship, and if he wants to take the metaphor further, it's about to crush them.

“I'm not sure there's something you can do,” she says pensively. “To be frank, I fear you have managed to destroy us.”

“But how? I know I brought the guards on your ship, and I'll be eternally sorry to have endangered you. But...we escaped, didn't we? I mean I -”

“Not that, you longshore lubber. That was bad, but what's going on now is so much worse.”

“What is going on?”

Santana sits down on her bunk, draws up her knees, and looks at him as if contemplating how much to tell him. After a long while in which Blaine hardly dares breathe, she speaks.

“For....people...like Kurt and me, there is...one person on earth, in all of time, who is, I guess you could say, meant to be with us. We can be with other people, of course, but that one person is special. They can...change, if they choose to, to be like us, and stay with us forever.”

She looks at him, and her gaze is hard to interpret. There's joy in it, and rage, and so much sadness.

“Very rarely do we find that person. I have been incredibly lucky to have found Brittany, and she has agreed to change for me so we can be together. Kurt thinks...he thinks you are that person for him. I'm not so sure. For both of us to find their person, in the same part of the ocean, and at this time....would be so improbable as to be practically impossible.”

When she looks at him now, Blaine has to look away. Her eyes are hard, her gaze unflinching and cold.

“I don't want it to be you. I don't know who you are, you are lying to us, nobody knows what's going on with you!”

She's almost screaming, and Blaine flinches, but almost instantly, she calms again.

“It would be nothing if you made him happy. But as all of us can plainly see, you're not. He's as miserable as I have ever seen him, and so are all of us, of course. I don't know what's wrong with you that you don't want him, but if you don't, then...then there's nothing you can do. Nothing anyone of us can do.”

Her voice breaks at the last words, and she doesn't look at him. She doesn't continue speaking, so after a moment, Blaine quietly leaves.

He goes to his hiding place in the hold. He hasn't been there since they've been on their way again, because he doesn't like to remember the terror he felt when the soldiers came so close to finding him. But now, it's the only place he can go.

His pallet is still lying on the floor. A few rat droppings fall out of the folds of the blanket as he pushes it to the side, but he pays them no mind; he sits down heavily and finally lets the tears fall.

He doesn't understand half of what Santana said, but what he does understand is that he has brought this pain down on Kurt. For if what she says is true, if there is but one person for him in all the world, and if you believe that against all odds you have been lucky enough to find that person, how much must it hurt to lose them?

And lose him he must, because Blaine can't stay.

He can't.

#fic: the prince and the moon god #klaine fanfiction

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moonlitgleek · 7 years

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Can you tell me why do you enjoy Glee? I'm not one of those who hate on the show for being LGBT-friendly, it's just that the characters are so inconsistent, the pairings are often forced and the storylines can be cringeworthy to really bad. Not that there isn't talent on the cast. I liked the earlier seasons, but I thought it became so nonsense later on... Maybe I'm not watching the way it should be watched, idk...

I’ve been sitting on a similar message for months now, trying to figure out how to respond. The problem with these messages that always leave me in a bind is that I do not think my answer would be really satisfactory to you. We all respond to media in different ways, have our own lines in the sand as to how much we can suspend our belief, like different things, etc. So I don’t know if I can really give you a different perspective on the show or anything; all I can offer is my own viewing experience.

I did not like the first season of Glee. I almost quit so many times during that first season but I was always pulled back and convinced to give the show another chance. Every time I planned to stop, a magical moment would happen - Mercedes singing I Am Beautiful, Burt telling Kurt that his job was to be himself and Burt’s job was to love him no matter what, the kids pulling a setlist out of thin air as Will listened and cried, the Glee club singing Lean on Me to Finn and a pregnant Quinn, Quinn giving birth to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, to name a few - and I’d be so moved that I’d decide to stick it out with the show for a little while longer. That’s not to say the first season was necessarily bad, I just did not enjoy it. The Will\Sue rivalry did not sustain the season on its own, I hated the Will\Teri story, I did not think the team gelled, and I wasn’t pulled by any of the characters.

Come season 2, things changed. I fell in love with the characters. My starting point in any show is the characters - if I can’t even like the characters, I can not go on watching even if the story is phenomenal. Season 2 got me interested in these characters as people, really delved into the characterization of the students and their stories which was a million time more interesting than Will, Teri and Sue. They introduced my favorite character, the writing got tighter, and they did a marvelous job with Kurt’s and Santana’s arcs. This was the season that cemented my love for Glee, aided by how much I started relating to these characters. I started to watch the show between seasons 3 and 4 when I was fresh out of college and feeling pressured to make it, scared that my academic success would not translate to a good career “in the real world” or that I just was not enough. So I understood these characters and their struggles. I saw my own fears in theirs. I related to them and rooted for them.

Now, I know that lots of people did not like the latter seasons but honestly, seasons 4 and 5 are my absolute favorites in this series. I genuinely enjoyed them despite some glaring problems. See, I watched Glee with my eyes wide open. I knew its problems and was infuriated by some of them: storylines that didn’t really go anywhere, stories that were set up perfectly but wrapped up sloppily, some obvious pace issues, big name guest stars that tended to become a plot black hole - if a big name guest star appeared, often the plotlines of the regulars got shelved in favor of showcasing said guest star - the writing even became reactionary at one point as some shippers took to social media to hound the writers over their ships, and Ryan responded by making a point through the writing. I saw all of that.But while I admit that there were issues worthy of criticism in Glee, I also think that there came a point where it became “cool” to disparage the show, and that fed to a widespread feeling of negativity towards it. I’d see someone lamenting how Glee stopped being silly and fun and now took itself too seriously but when the show did a cracky ridiculous episode like the ones it used to do in earlier seasons, it was criticized for being too silly and not taking its audience seriously. The writers got flayed for doing PSA episodes and I’d read think pieces on how they should employ subtle storytelling and not throw their themes in our face, but when they did so with their story about race - one of the subtlest and longest running storylines - it largely got dismissed because people simply did not notice it since Glee did not wave a red flag saying “this is a race story” (though honestly, when it did explicitly tell us it’s a race story in Asian F, some still failed to understand that yes, this is about race.) At one point, there was no winning for the show, everything was criticized.

One of my favorite things about Glee, though, is that it managed to sell me on things I thought I’d never accept and made me love characters that I wasn’t a big fan of even four and five seasons in. For the love of god, Glee somehow managed to make me really care about Dave freaking Karofsky which is a damn feat. Like, Finn and Santana were two characters that I’ve always struggled with. I outright disliked and resented Finn at the end of season 3, and then season 4 happened and my god, did I fall in love with Finn - that goofy, stubborn, supportive kid who stepped up, learned from his mistakes and became a rock to the younger generation. Santana was just intriguing in that season and she drew me in in a way that she hadn’t done before. Season 4 had its problems, but it’s the season that genuinely made me so attached to Glee. Blaine was a bloody revelation and a joy to watch. Sam somehow managed to steal my heart. Tina had really good material that I enjoyed to death to make up for three seasons of sidelining. The NND had a very rough start and the show struggled in the beginning to give the newbies distinguishing characterization that did not echo the graduated characters’ but once they found their groove, they became a team that I loved with all my heart, one that I enjoyed seeing interact far more than I ever did the previous team. Season 4 was primarily about friendships and support, it allowed the characters to fly their nerd flags and they felt like real teenagers in their silliness. And hey, very little Will. That was always a plus.

While season 5 was heavily impacted by Cory’s death, and despite how that forced the writers to throw away their plans for the season which unfortunately led to some storylines getting axed, I found it a solid season with some excellent episodes that capitalized and improved on the relationships they set in season 4, and that did a much, much better job with its pacing. I find it admirable that they managed such a good season after a heavy personal and professional loss as Cory’s death.

As for characterization, I disagree that it was inconsistent. Obviously I have no idea which characters you have in mind but the two characters I often saw this criticism directed at are Blaine and Tina, and I just don’t agree. The bones of Blaine and Tina’s later characterization are laid in seasons 2 and 3 if one looks for them, and can we really call them inconsistent when they were only truly fleshed out in the same season that prompted people to criticize their characterization? Because both characters were underdeveloped in earlier seasons. Butcharacters are constantly developing and I can’t expect the characters to be the same four or five seasons in as they were in season 1. As long as the change falls in line with previous storylines or expands in them in a non-contradictory way, then it’s not inconsistent. That’s not to say that I enjoyed every bit of characterization from every character (I was very vocal in my dislike for s4!Rachel’s characterization), but just because I did not enjoy it does not necessarily mean that it was inconsistent. That’s a line I had to find while watching.

But it all comes down really to the fact that I still found magic in Glee despite its problems. I found as much joy in On Our Way as I did in Ride Wit Me and as much beauty in If I Were A Boy as in I Am Beautiful. NND were even more important to me than OND were, Blam meant the world to me, as did Blaine’s struggle with his insecurities, Kitty’s journey, Jake’s anger, Ryder’s ridiculousness, Marley’s steadiness, Unique’s bravery, Rachel’s stumbling, Tina’s resentment, it all meant something to me. I loved these characters and was invested in their happiness and their success. I started watching Glee for the story of these underdogs standing up to the world around them and picking themselves up after they were knocked down again and again, I stayed for the sense of community and support they built against all odds which is something the show never lost, and I ended it with them, with Rachel Berry accepting that Tony, with Kurt and Blaine happily married with a baby on the way, with Mercedes successful and fulfilled. It ended with a show of friendship as these kids who stuck by each other through thick and thin gathered to support one of their own, and with that weird, crazy, dysfunctional, flawed group of people coming together to honor the person who made Mckinley just a little bit brighter for many of them. Perhaps he never got the chance to walk these halls as a teacher, or to become the teacher that future Mckinley students deserved, but he still left a legacy behind.

Moments like these are why I enjoyed Glee, and why, despite all of its problems, it remains one of few shows that touched me the most.

#Anon asks #ask box #glee

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