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#i love herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (him)
silusvesuius · 2 months
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Your Depiction of Ulfric is literal perfection. I’ve never seen anyone who sees him in a similar way to me, until I found your account last year. I fucking love miserable old man Ulfric who could never catch a break since the day he was born. Every major event in his life (he can’t even decide which one’s the worst) shaped him in the worst yet most interesting way possible. I can’t speak enough about him, his messed up self esteem clashing with his ego, his repressed emotions and sexuality, his shattered image of his own body and mind, the constant loud arguments between the voices in his head (mostly just him arguing with hallucinations) *I’m definitely not projecting here* his unstable mood, his flashbacks and his odd obsessions with random harmful patterns he associates with familiarity. Because to him familiar=safe even if he’s basically only familiar to a constant state of worry and feeling like he’s being targeted or hunted down.
None of this seems to be getting better, at least not in a notable speed. Yet they’re all existing within a strong and powerful man. It’s quite the combination, he’s being weighted down by all of that baggage but his back is too strong to bend. He appears as if he has nerves of steel from the outside, but really if anything is made of steel in his mind, it’s the vessel that he uses to bottle all of that trauma up.
I already had a vague idea of his complicated relationship (obviously) with Elenwen but your version literally felt like it opened my third eye. It is scrumptious and your art is so beautiful it depicts every essence of it all perfectly without even needing to include words. I fell in love with it at first sight.
dis answer is kinda long so i'm (crumpling it up and tossing it under the cut)
Omg wtf Thank you's 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕 this is so well put together into words; i will do 9543 backflips for demented ulfric always. i've grown to like him in canon too cause he really has that, wouldn't even call it deceitful, weirdly-content personality.. but i don't think anyone in the writing room in sk*rim HQ knows how to write a character that has been through Anything, event of any kind, so he seems too 'perfect' for a person that has been through literal physical torture, to me, and his reactions to things that should be greatly upsetting are too mild. even though him being elenwen's victim is a piece of information that's easy to miss it seems like it also completely slipped out of the writing IOFDHDJFUIO LOL.. it all obviously adds up to him seeming more appealing as a fashie character to the audience, cus a visibly mentally unwell man wouldn't do it for most people, especially when you want to sway someone to be on his side of things.
i think it's quite smart for the st*rmcloaks to be presented as the more warm and welcoming types of people but ulfric should be the coldest of them all. Bro shouldn't even have the mental and physical capacity to seem Content with his life especially in that moment. he should be the type to use his civil war motivations as an excuse to stay alive if that makes sense, cause i don't think he really wants to live, but he has things to do to keep his mind and hands busy xchkvcjcvkl//
i also really love how ulfric only has galmar as someone he's really close to, it always seemed beyond genius to me, to write them like that, it's cute... he rly is the only person to suffer thru 4 hours of ulfric Peak psychosis monologue followed by 2 hours of trying to prove to him that th*lmor and imperial soldiers aren't hiding in the chests and under the beds of the palace LMFAOO galmar is the one guy who he can sob in front of and act like a little baby fishing for compliments and reassurance, and, not all that related to ulfric as a whole, but i strongly believe that having him be so vulnerable with galmar would make galmar really excited, it would make him feel good, like no other damsel in distress could deliver that feeling EVER. having such a seemingly-strong political figure rely on you Badly and madly would feel like something else entirely 💗 it's very off-putting and perhaps inappropriate of him to feel that way when ulfric is just searching for stability, but i think that even if ulfric knew galmar felt that way he wouldn't really gaf LOL. he'd turn to elenwen if there was no one else to go to cause he 'knows' her, and he'd torment elisif cause he 'knows' her as well.. but he would be completely closed off from making connections with other people 🏆
+ bonus; elenwen's feelings for him would border on everything at once, like, every type of relationship and connection that ever exists.. she really views him as the food she left over in the fridge and will get to eat when she's back from work as a reward
tl;dr him being scarier and more .. unkempt? from the outside would make him even cooler tbhs. he should become christian and develop religious OCD
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obsidiancreates · 1 year
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1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Live-Action Movie Liveblog
HERE WE GO BABES TURTLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!! Secret of the Ooze is iconic to me so I have high expectations here.
Starting with some city shots, good start- THAT LADY'S COAT I LOVE IT
Is that April? Different actress than in Secret if so
PICKPOCKETING AND PASSING IT ALONG A SECRET NETWORK HELL YEAH- omg that kid is in The Foot? But he looks like a nerd
THEY STOLE THE ENTIRE DAMN TRUCK IN LIKE 5 SECOND LOL
THEY STOLE HER FUCKING TV PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
There they are, the foot costumes, iconic.
DIGGING the music of this- WHOA SECRET LAIR all of these boys look like Cameron from Ferris Buller's Day Off but like, with different hair colors.
Why'd she make a Ghostbusters joke? They... don't solve robberies?
IT IS APRIL AN SHE'S WITH A DIFFERENT CHANNEL WHAT SHE'S WITH CHANNEL 3????????????
Would a New Yorker actually get that scared of a rat? I have my doubts.
GOD I love sound in 90's movies it so click-clacky
FUCK THEY ATTACKED HER- YEAHHHHHHHHHHH A SAIIIIIIIIIII YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MY BOYS SAVED HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HI LIL' RAPH PEEKIN' OUT FROM THE GRATE HEY BUDDY
She grabbed the sai by the blade- HE CURSED RIGHT OFF THE BAT HELL YEAH
GROOVIN' MUSIC BABEY WHOO I AM HYPED SHOW ME THEM RUBBER COSTUMED YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH UNCHANGED LOGO FROM THE '87 CARTOON
HEY THIS DONNIE ALSO SHOUTS RANDOM WORDS AS CATHPRASES HE AND RISE COULD BOND OVER THAT
These costumes look super good considering like, what they are. Can the actors see out of those? They're moving so well and those suits must be thick as hell- WAIT RAPH'S VOICE IS WAY LESS DEEP AND RASPY THAN IN SECRET BASED ON THESE COUPLE LINES
You can really tell Jim Henson was involved in the suits once Splinter shows up, like "Oh yeah mmm-hmm he wouldn't even seem out of place in Dark Crystal."
AH THERE'S THE RAPH VOICE I KNOW AND LOVE
PFFFFFFFFFT RANDOM FIGHT WITH DONNIE- ANGY DONNIE
Reaching their pea- Splinter they're 16 and Mikey is ordering pizza instead of listening to you.
PFFFFFFFFFFFT HE LITERALLY THREW THE BOOK AT HIM AND MIKEY JUST THREATENED THE PIZZA GUY LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
One day you'll be gone but not in this damn era JUST 2012 GOTTA DEAL WITH THAT SHIT AT LEAST OUT OF THE TURTLES WHO WERE ON SCRE- wait nevermind I just remembered that Splinter bites it in The Next Mutation. That's- hmm. Well it doesn't count because that show was Bad.
DONNIE MIKEY SWEETHEARTS NO NOT THE TIME FOR A DANCE PARTY but again something 90's Donnie and Rise Donnie have in common
SERIOUSLY CAN THE ACTORS SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING- AWWWWWWWWWW LEO'S LITTLE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOK AT HIS LITTLE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE AWWWWWW DONNIE AND MIKEY IN THE BACKGROUND AWWWWWWWWWWWWW THEY'RE ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEE
Also just- Raph said aloud he's going to a movie and not only did Leo not mind, Splinter didn't care either
I much prefer the voice Donnie has in Secret but this one isn't bad.
I'M SORRY ONLY $10 FOR A WHOLE DAMN PIZZA?????? OH MY- DUDE I HATE CAPITALISM
Poor Splinter lol- OH MY GOD RAPH ACTUALLY WENT TO A MOVIE AND NO-ONE SAID A FUCKING WORD??????? HE FOR REAL WENT TO A MOVIE??????? I LOVE HIM
Ah it's Casey. You better be better than Out of the Shadows Casey. I actually just rewatched both Bayverse movies today for the first time in years and really enjoyed them for the most part except for 3 things. 1) The Megan Fox sexualization because I know it was Bay being creepy 2) Will Arnett's character didn't need to be here. Give most of his scenes/moments to April. 3) Fucking CW Arrow Casey Jones
Okay he's got more charm to him already, I remember him being sexist though
RAPH LET HIM BEAT THEIR ASSES- LOOK THEY GOT AWAY NOW
Did Raph just... insult his baseball team? Fascinating. I'll never be able to accurately write 90's turtles if this is the stuff they're saying. But I'll try.
Casey is... phenomenally unphased by the mutant turtle.
THIS IS SO GOOFYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT fuck man how many sport tools does Casey have- HE SENT RAPH FUCKIN' FLYINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG RAPH IS STUCK IN THE TRASH OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'LL KILL HIM FOR YOU RAPH SWEETIE OH YOU GOT HIT BY A CAR NO THIS ISN'T YOUR NIGHT I'M SO SORRY BABY
PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT CAB DRIVER: UNPHASED
Damn he really loves the word "Damn".
Splinter now's not the time for a lecture he was hit by a car
Man. So every Splinter's just kinda been really unequipped to handle Raph's anger issues, huh? AWWWWWWWWWWW BUT HE'S TRYING HE'S HERE FOR HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Oh damn April's boss is one of the Foot Kids.
FUCK UP THE POLICE WITH YOUR REPORTING APRIL I BELIEVE IN YOU oh no she's making "Speak English smart-man" jokes
NOT AGAIN NOT MORE MIKEY HAVING A CRUSH ON THE MUCH-OLDER APRIL I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT WITH BAYVERSE
NO THEY'RE ALL SAYING IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH THE CHIEF IS OPENLY RACIST OKAY WELL ACCURATE TO IRL I GUESS BUT SURPRISING TO SEE- RAPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU OUT IN THE DAYTIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HONEY YOU'RE ASKING FOR TROUBLE
Oh she's alone in the Subway? FOOT BITCHES OH NO Sony payments? Wh- what? What were the 90's?
This April is a lot more feisty than Secret April, I think I like this one more so far. Foot Guy slapped her and she decided "Oh Imma have to kick your entire ass now" and maybe it's an unrealistic goal but I'm proud of her
Yeah she was knocked out instantly RAPH TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEE
RAPH MY BELOVED I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE BAD VERSION OF YOU oh but you are for sure being followed baby, you are for sure being followed
RAPH WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT HER- Pffffft "I wanted to redecorate! You know, a couple throw pillows, a TV news reporter!" I love him.
Mikey no (cool to note though that it seems like 2003 Mikey's "Can we keep her?" line was a reference to this movie)
Ah not a. Not a good thing to wake up to. Reasonable response I think, to scream a lot. Though I do like that in 2012 they kept it nice and short to one scream and then almost-trust, and in Rise they said "Fuck it" and skipped the whole thing.
Yeah this April has way more personality than Secret Apri- PFFFFFFFFFFT "WHY DON'T I EVER DREAM OF HARRISON FORD"
THEM TURTLE BITCHES ARE MEANT TO BE 15??????????????
Oh yeah this one was Yoshi's pet, not Yoshi himself. PFFFFFFFFFT HE HAPPENED UPON THEM BY ACCIDENT
Splinter that. That is clearly not glowing.
OH FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOO WORST TURTLE TOTS DESIGNS EVER NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO BAD
Oh but they're all so cute as teens though, they look more like tots now than those bad actual-tots did.
Oh no that was a good joke whoever said that- Mikey I think? That was a good one.
SHIT HE POPPED OUT OF THERE LIKE MARIO
Mikey good joke baby I am so sorry she's not appreciating these- oh no celebrity impressions. Love that Raph is irritated by it, good exasperated brother moment.
SHE ALREADY LOVES THEM AND I GET IT THEY'RE ALL ADORABLE LIL' GUYS wait what was that face
OH SHIT THEIR HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO FUCK IT'S TRASHED I guess this is why they have to find a new one in Secret- oh god Donnie dropped to his fucking knees THIS TONAL SHIFT IS WILD HOLY SHIT HOL SHIT THIS TONAL SHIFT RAPH'S FUCKING SCREAM
Oh ew why'd Leo say that like that. That was the creepiest way he could have said Splinter's name.
What a wild day for April. Why the HELL is her boss visiting her HOUSE
So is he trying to cover up his son's involvement?
IS HE CHECKING UNDER THE TAB- KID WHAT
WAS THAT LIKE 11 YEAR OLD SMOKING A FUCKING CIGAR
HOLY SHIT THE FOOT HIDEOUT IS WAY COOLDER THAN 2012 ND RISE THIS PLACE IS POPPIN' LIEK IT'S GIVING ALCOHOL AND CIGARS TO PRETEENS WHICH IS WACK AND BAD BUT IT'S A FUCKIN' PARTY HOUSE DUDE
Ah but then we find the child fighting ring
HEY THAT WAS A DIRTY MOVE TATSU FUCK YOU THAT KID WAS BEIN' RESPECTFUL
Oh the GONG is sounding time to stop PLAYING ARCADE GAMES I guess
This Shredder is always so dipped out dude. Silver tiger striped cape with shoulder pads? Are you kidding me? He's for sure gay.
Having some trouble with the costume there Tatsu? Having trouble moving that cape?
DAMN ND THE RED SEQUINED SPARKLY BODYSUIT THIS GUY'S DRIPPED OUT AS FUCK
Oh so he's just running a straight-up cult in this one okay.
Uhhhhhh Shredder? That one you captured is a rat. Not. A turtle.
MIKEY STOP CALLING HER A BABE
AWWWW YAY RAH DESVERED THAT THANKS AND HE'S SO HAPPY ABOUT IT- oh he almost cut Donnie's. Uh. Well I guess he doesn't have a D actually.
Oh poor Donnie and Mikey. "Fight?" "Fight." "Kitchen?" "Kitchen." They're too used to this. Cute bonding though.
OHHHHH RAPH IS DOING ANGY TRAINING ON THE ROOF NOW- oh hi Casey you've been oddly absent from this movie until now. Of course you just happen to see him- RAPH FUCKING FOOT NINJAS
MIKEY SAID DAMN NOW WHOO
"Where's Raphael?" GETTING HIS ASS WHOOPED- NEVERMIND HE'S WHOOPING THEIR ASSES DUDE THAT'S A REAL GUY DOING THESE MOVEMENTS AND FLIPS AND STUFF IN THAT GIANT SUIT HOW FUCKING IMPRESSIVE IS THAT LIKE DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I CAN'T GET OVER IT THAT'S A REAL FUCKING GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
"How do you guys expect to beat me?" *like two dozen more guys with swords creep up* "Good answer. Good answer!" Raph I love you
APRIL OWNS THE ANTIQUE STORE??????????????? WHY WAS THIS ERASED IN SECRET
BITCHES RAPH IS GETTING KIDNAPPED- okay no he's fi- ALIVE BARELY?????????????????? FUCK
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS MIKEY I love the lack of music over the Foot Guy to make him seem lame as hell
AND DONNIE FOR THE SURPRISE "FUCK UP YOUR FACE WITH A BO ATTACK"
*slap* *slap* *PUNCH* Leo you're a gem
PFFFFFT JUST SPITT WATER AT HIM YEAH DONNIE
THESE BOYS ARE SO FUN WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS LEFT OUT OF CROSSOVER FICSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Shit April's apartment is fucked.
Yup there is goes. No more dead-dad antique store I guess.
FUCK 'EM UP BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T USE DONNIE'S HEAD TO PLAY PIANO NOOOOOOOOOOOO
MIKEY YEAH USE THE CYMBOLS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RAPH WAKE UP RAPH WAKE UP-
CASEY?
CASEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY fuck he was instantly sexist as soon as he saw April SYNTH MUSIC BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
OH FUCK IT'S BURNING DOWN PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT TATSU IS DISPLEASED WITH THIS FLAMING TURN OF EVENT BUT UNMOVED BY THE FIRE BOY GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE
Casey being an Instant Ally, hell yeah.
WHY THE HELL DID HE FIRE HER- FUCK CHARLES SUCKS
IT'S THE PARTY WAGONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS oh and her house burned down that sucks yeah feel sorry kid BUT THEY WERE IN THE PARTY WAGONNNNNNNNNN
Oh Shredder is PISSED
DON'T PUNCH SPLINTER I'LL KILL YOU GET YOUR BLADES OFF OH MY GUY SPLINTER I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT YOU'LL WISH THE FUCKING GARBAGE TRUCK KILLED YOU YOU BITCH
Tatsu STOP fucking hell THOSE ARE YOUR OWN GUYS AND YOUR OWN EQUITMENT CALM THE FUCK DOWN MAN WHAT THE HELL
YEAH KID MAYBE THESE GUYS SUCK MAYBE LET THE RAT GUY GO
Splinter INSTANTLY decided to Dad this kid. I love him so much. He sees ANY person younger than him and decides "I'm your parent now"
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Splinter I. "All fathers care for their sons" I get where you're coming from but. Not true. Not true. Not. True.
IT'S THE FUCKING FARMHOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BUT RAPH IS THE ONE IN THE COMA NOW FUCK DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE FARMHOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 2012 USED THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Casey JUST met these people and he's like "I'm your family now" BROADZILLA?????????????????? WHAT CASEY WHAT WAS THAT FUCK YOU FOR THAT ONE
Mikey and Donnie continue to be the best duo. I do miss this in 2012, they aren't as close as I wish they were.
DAMN SHE'S A GOOD ARTIST
HEY THE INSULT GAME YAY THEY REFERENCE THIS IN 2012 TOO
Fongoid? ... Like the Ratchet & Clank species?
DUDE 2012 LITERALLY- THIS IS THE FARMHOUSE ARC WHAT THE HELL
Oh that is a bad pose- why'd they do that to Raph? Why'd they put him in the tub like that? That can't be comfortable. That's a terrible position to stick him in.
This movie has more Severe Tonal Shifts than a single conversation with me does.
THERE'S WATER IN THA- HIS FACE IS DOWN THERE HE'LL FUCKING DROWN'
And after that... flirting with Casey. TONAL SHIFTS GALORE where the fuck did Casey go in Secret. Oh nevermind maybe April killed him for his sexist pet names.
RAPH WOKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP YAYYYYYYYYYYYY AND HE'S QUIPPING ALREADY YAYYYYYYYYY HE'S OKAY OH AND LEO IS SO HAPPY I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER HOW HAPPY LEO ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THEY ARE BROTHERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BROTHERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AWWWWWWWWWWWWW THEY HUGGEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I'M WITH DONNIE AND APRIL I'M TEARIN' UP
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK IS WITH THE SHOUT OF SPLINTER FROM THE ROOFTOP THESE DRAMATIC-ASS TURTLES I LOVE THEM
"Hey. Why're you so pressed about the turtles, Shreddy my man?" "Reminds me of a guy I killed." "Oh okay."
FOREST TRAININGGGGGGGGGGG is Casey using Leo's katana to very poorly cut carrots first thing in the morning? EW EW HE MANHANDLED APRIL INTO A MASSAGE I HATE THIS GROSS
Awwwwwwwwww But cute brother moment between Raph and Mikey, that was good.
FUCK SPLINTER IS SO COVERED IN BLOOD OH FUCK
Awwww they're playing Trivia! Oh I love them.
TIME FOR THE SPIRIT FIRE- DUDE LITERALLY THE WHOLE DAMN FARMHOUSE ARC FROM 2012 IS IN THIS MOVIE FOR REAL
Donnie with the marshmallows yessssssssssss
THERE HE IS BLUE FIRE SPLINTER SPIRIT DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS SLAPS
HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TEAMWORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Is it love? Familial love? IT'S LOVE HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S FAMILIAL LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OH THE BOYS ARE CRYING OH SOMEONE HUG MIKEY AND RAPH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OH THEY'RE SUCH SWEET BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSI LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
DON'T GO FROM THAT BEAUTIFUL SCENE WITH SPLINTER AND THE BOYS TO CASEY AND APRIL'S LIKEWARM FLIRTING
Casey's having a weird time dude. He's insta ride-or-die but he's gonna be upset about it the whole time.
PFFFFFFFFT "Don't shoot!" *looking at the sword* "I don't think it's loaded, kid." RAPH I LOVE YOU
90'S CASEY HOMOPHOBIC?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK-
YES YOU DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABOUT BEING AFRAID YOU SEXIST HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE
I'm sorry, sleeping in the truck is better than sleeping in the sew- well actually I'll cut myself off there
KEEP THE- KID WHAT THE HELL WHY DO YOU WANT THOSE DRAWINGS KID YOU ARE FUCKED UP
Awwww they're having a funeral for the pizza. I love Donnie and Mikey's dynamic in this movie.
Casey just like. Get a motel or something. I can feel the back pain in my own back?
Danny are you possessed
These turtles are way too fucking trusting.
Well I wish I could root for Casey here but he's a homophobe. Kind of ruined him for me, that one throwaway line.
CASEY CAN JUST WALK IN TO THE FOOT HIDEOUT?!?!?!? NOBODY'S GUARDING THE DOOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
SPLINTER LOOKS SO CUTE IN THIS MOVIE HE'S GOT SUCH BIG EYES AND THEY'RE SO WET AND SAD LOOKING HE'S JUST A LIL' GUY
AWWWWWWWWWWWW LOOK AT PRE-MUTATION SPLINTER DOIN' HIS LITTLE MARTIAL ARTS IN HIS CAGE
Well I guess Tang Shen and Yoshi didn't end we- FUCK SAKI MURDERED HER AND YOSHI HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HIS LITTLE CUDDLE OF YOSHI'S HAND OH SPLINTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SPLINTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Damn Casey pulled a Like Skywalker
YEAH ID YOU'RE IN A MURDER CULT- OH FUCKKKKKKKKKK SHREDDER CAUGHT HIM FUCK FUCK HE'S GONNA KILL THIS KID
NOOOOOOOOO THE DRAWINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
CASEY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW SPLINTER- DUDE HE'S JUST INSTANTLY TRUY RIDE OR DIE LIKE WHAT THE HELL XD
PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT THE FOOT GUYS WIGGLING INTO THE STORM DRAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
THEIR DOOR!!!!!! HASN'T IT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!!!!!!
YESSSSSSSSSS BOYS FUCK 'EM UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP WHOOOOOOOOOOO THOSE FOOT GUYS STOOD NO CHANCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fuck there are more, Raph you curled a finger on the monkey paw or whatever the saying is
"Who the fuck are you" "Uh I met your sons and their reporter friend and then lived with 'em for a few days and I guess I'd die for all of you now. I don't have a lot else going on in my life."
THIS APRIL IS SO MUC COMPARED TO SECRETS APRIL
I am not upset about Casey being punched repeatedly. That's what you get for the sexist and homophobic and I think he was just Racist?
GOLF CLUB HOT DAMN HE SENT THAT GUY FLYING TOO HOW FUCKING STRONG IS THIS CASEY
YES DONNIE SKATEBOARD THROUGH THOSE TUNNELS DESTROY THEIR FACES
LISTEN TO THE DYING RAT YOU KIDS YOU CAN BE BUDS WHILE NOT LIKE MURDERING GUYS
PFFFFFFFFFT FLEEING BACK OUT THE STORM DRAIN AND MY BOYS ARE PURSUING THEM RELENTLESSLY WHILE MAKING PUN ATTEMPTS YES I FUCKING LOVE THIS OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS I NEED THE NEXT TMNT TO HAVE THIS KIND OF ENERGYYYYYYYYYYYYY THIS ENERGY IS SO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BRING BACK SYNTH MUSIC
MIKEY AND DONNIE'S DYNAMIC IS THE MVP OF THIS MOVIE LIKE IT'S ALL GOOD BUT THEIR DYNAMIC IS TRULY *CHEF'S KISS*
THERE ARE REAL FUCKING GUYS IN THOSE SUITS DOING THOSE MOVIES
HOLY FUCK SHREDDER DROPPED FROM THE SKY IN HIS SEQUINED BODYSUIT AND ALL DONNIE HAD TO SAY WAS "Who is this?" DESTROYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
LEO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT MOVIE YOU JUST JUMPED AT HIM love that Shredder let them do the rock-paper-scissors
DONNIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH SHIT MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OH NO NOT RAPH RAPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STOP BEATING MY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OH SHIT OH SHIT CASEY SAW THE GARBAGE TRUCK OH HELL YES I AM READY
LEO YOU CAN DO THIS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH BUT HE GOT A GOOD HIT IN
OH SHIT HE PISSED OFF LEO BUT IT DID NOTHIGN LEO IS ABOUT TO DIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK OBVIOUSLY HE WAS GONNA KILL HIM ANYWAY
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SPLINTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KICK HIS ASS MY GUY KICK HIS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OH SHIT SPLINTER SCARRED HIM UP REAL GOOD HELL YEAH HELLLLLLLLLL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH SPLINTER DIDN'T EVEN FLINCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DROP HIS ASS YESSSSSSSS DEATH COMES FOR US ALL BUT SOMETHING MUCH WORSE COMES FOR YOU FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHH GOOD LINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FUCKING CRUSH HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HE IS SMUSHEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I KNOW HE COMES BACK BUT YESSSSSSSSSSSS
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW FAMILY HUG FAMILY HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS MOVIE FUCKING RULES I LOVE THIS MOVIE I LOVE MY 90'S BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I like Secrets April, despite how little she's really in the movie, but this April is better for sure. Way more fun, way more spark to her.
Casey now is not the time. Leave her alone. WHERE DID THE KISS ME REQUEST COME FROM WHAT I will never understand
Awwww it is cute though that the turtles are so happy for him, that's adorable.
SAY IT SPLINTER SPLINTER SAID COWABUNGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS IS A GOOD MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
This credit song isn't great but THE MOVIE WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHY DON'T MY 90'S BOYS GET ANY OF THE MULTIVERSAL CHAT FIC LOVE
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jlf23tumble · 5 years
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Episode 27 means there’s just one left (for now, duh duh DUH, let’s get those trombones good and fired up). I know I’m alone, but I’m gonna miss this garbage show because I’m gonna miss the SHIT out of fresh Louis (and Dermot, lbr) content twice weekly, so I decided to celebrate the penultimate episode by getting drunk with Sandy (one of my oldest, dearest friends, someone who’s not in this fandom but who watched the first six seasons of American Idol and has already gone on record as saying that Louis is way cute) and liveblogging her reactions (in quotes below). She made martinis and G&Ts with fancy-pants gin, which feels weirdly British to me, so let’s go! I’ll do tomorrow’s final ep sober, rip.
I’m still not over seeing red ribbons on this homophobic garbage fest or the fact that people don’t seemingly know what they represent, but why is everyone BUT Ayda wearing one tonight? Louis wearing a red ribbon makes me so weak; ditto Dermot.
“That’s Dermot??? He’s cuuuuute!” (Sandy’s from Woostah, so when she’s drunk, her accent is even more chowd than usual.)
“Ugh, Simon, gross, he looks like he just came out of a guttah, what's with the hair, what happened here???” Behold, beauty and the beast, and this doesn’t do justice to the weird eye wiggling from Simon in Louis’s direction, godddd, he’s the worst:
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Robbie does some kind of sad medley with the losers, and why do I have to see Bella again, but Sandy nails it: “Yeah, we’re the lou-sahs, oh, here we ah… we've got big white sneakahs on, that’s who we ah.” And even from this intro, Sandy, who’s immediately team Dalton from the five seconds he’s showcased, doesn’t get why Ant’ony’s here, can’t get a bead on why Scarlett’s the best of the best of female singers, either, uncanny, right? As for me, “Freedom” as a song for a show that Louis’s obligated to do? Okay! Hopefully, this means things are looking up!
Dermot kicks off the festivities by introducing Louis as “a man so loved, I might even scream myself,” and, yeah, hard same:
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I won’t get into Marky Mark’s b-roll antics, even though one of my weaknesses is footie Louis, which only proves how much I love you (cough, Kelli). Sandy calls Britain’s Marky Mark the poor man’s Johnny Bananas, and I have no idea what she means by that, but yeah, I guess. Me as her: “God, imagine Louis at 30, imagine seeing him in person, Jesus Christ. How old is Ant’ony again? Shouldn’t he be in the overs? He looks like a bridge troll, the Beatles don’t deserve this vibrato, why are Simon’s tits out, why is there a choir, shouldn’t he just be able to sing? American Idol Simon would have totally called this out for the bullshit it is, he’s an alcoholic now, isn’t he? ” And she’s not wrong on any of it, lmao.
Overall, Sandy’s read on Ant’ony: “Nah…if he had nailed ‘Let It Be,’ maybe.” (Not even then, but I appreciate her giving him a fighting chance.)
We transition from Marky Mark to Dalton, with Dermot saying to Louis, “We are back with you and your wonderful top,” lots of tittering in the arena, Sandy questioning why ANYONE with functioning eyes would consider Louis (or Harry) to be straightTM, and sigh.
I love Roman Kemp enough to squeak, “ROMAN!!” when Dalton does an interview with him. I also el oh el at the whole, “Let’s meet Louis’s sister and some rando none of us really get to hear about in Louis’s ‘house’ before at least two of them go to see Anne-Marie in Manchester.” Still, the sun…in a fake house…yeah:
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Unsurprisingly, Dalton blows us all away with his impeccable vocals (AND THAT JACKET). As Sandy says, “Wow, he’s awesome, he’s not even a contestant, why is he on this show, he should be on a label at this point.”
Scarlett’s up next next, and I’m wondering if Simon will show up to mentor, but of course a) he has to (nearly done), and b) it’ll take him about two hours, tops, which is laughable when you consider how much time everyone else has put in, especially comrade Louis. Unfortunately, Simon’s involvement means more Last Showman music.
Simon emotionlessly intones, “Vote for herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, we need her to win the X Factorrrrrrrrrrr,” and Scarlett comes out and does her trademark Adele Junior ~thing, but all I can think is, a) your mentor is creepy af:
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and b) “all the luck” sounds like “all the love.” I’ll still buy this pen, sbb:
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I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Jimmy Artie, and even though Anne-Marie seems okay, nothing'll stop me from fast forwarding.
We get duets next, and none of us are interested in Ant’ony and Tom Walker (who?), but major points to Louis for saying, “Massive thank you to you, Tom, you’re an absolute gentleman,” etc. etc. (take notes if you need lessons on how to be gracious).
Dalton’s duet with Emile Sande is predictably grand, but I’m distracted by his Harry Styles cosplay:
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Sandy knows my brand well because she immediately picks up on this pen display moment:
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I can’t properly grab it, but at the one hour, eight minute mark, Louis springs into prime sbb and talks about how “foon” it is to drag Simon with everything he’s got, and I sob a little because this has been such a GREAT run, godddd, I’m gonna miss it.
George Ezra comes out to sing, and Sandy once again nails it by describing him as “some skinny, pale British guy with a guitar who wants to be Ed Sheerhan…I like his guitar, though, it’s cool.”
Hot take: Scarlett has to sing her duet with Robbie not because Simon’s lazy but because nobody else in the industry would agree to help him out.
God, the “crea’ive” on this tune is terrible: giant satellites for finding ET in the background? Nothing else would have worked here? Nothing from the Greatest Showman, even ?
A bit of live Renaissance art: Simon grinding his teeth while Louis composes a text to Harry and Robbie/Ayda make out:
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Sandy’s PISSED that this show just wasted 90 minutes of her life, and she won’t know what happens until I text her, but yeah, sob, one more to go. Meanwhile, she loves Bravo shows, and so do I, so let’s imagine this one;
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