#i just wanna draw. thats all i really wanna do. draw poor bby narut0. and like its weird. i dont understand other ppl

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me this morning: wtf am i gonna do today? might as well set up samples and be productive i guess #bc i couldnt possibly try to enjoy my day or try to clean up my apartment or do any of thr million non school related things i should do #sigh... nope im here in the lab setting up samples. blurring the time away #i just wanna draw. thats all i really wanna do. draw poor bby narut0. and like its weird. i dont understand other ppl #like all i wanna do all the time is draw and learn. and even when im doing other things that usually what i want to do #so ill be in the middle of some event. feeling nothing and thinking abt those things #like idk thats why its so hard when ppl r like: what do u like to do? bc its only 2 things obsessively so i likd to do them but i also have #to so its also stressful. and when i do other things im like glad for the experience but i also dont feel anything abt it #idk it just feels like im not processing things right. but idk u dont have to like things that u feel ur supposed to #but if i just dont engage with the things i feel nothing abt my world becomes even smaller. so im stuck driving myself nuts doing the same #things over and over but i don't even kno what i want to do differently bc i dont like anything. v annoying and frustrating if u have to #engage with me bc there r all these rules #but anyway thats y im so excited to start a phd bc then school will occupy my time and ill b more interested in my day job #im just so ready to leave this place. i wanna go back to the mountains #unrelated