all this reminds me of eddie izzard pretty downright explicitly stating in her autobiography that she wanted to pursue acting because her mother dying when she was 6 and being sent to british boarding school traumatized her and made her desperate to feel loved. she referred to the praise one gets for performing as a "surrogate affection machine" and thats why before she did acting she did comedy and before she did comedy she did street performing. literally anything to climb the ladder
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