#i got three hours of sleep i am mildly incoherent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewondersofsmut · 5 years

Text

Happy Ending

Request: Hi sorry to bother u but can u do a deanxreader where reader has back pains and dean offers to give her a massage, and he sits on her lower back/butt area and it turns into something more. Thanks! I understand if u can't write it b/c u prob get a Lotta requests. – Anon

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language, smut

Word Count: 1873

A/N: I’m back! And Im posting a few fics today! Feedback is loved!

Masterlist

“Son of a bitch,” You groaned, pressing your free hand to your lower back, and swinging your machete to your other shoulder. “You good there, (y/n)?” You looked up to Dean, dragging the vampire’s dead body to the pile. “Peachy.” You faked a smile. Dean couldn’t stop his body from reacting to the noises you elicited, his hips jerking forward. “What’s up?” He asked, being better at expressing his feelings of concern towards you, not that he didn’t care, he always assumed that getting too close to you could cost your life, but you had quickly proven that trusting and expressing to each other would be good, considering that you’ve saved his life multiple times.

“Just some back ache, comes with aging,” You joked, making him chuckle. “We should head back, Sammy’s gunna need meds, I promised to pick some up for him.” Your voice sounded hoarse. “I think we should get something for you, maybe some muscle patches too?” Dean suggested, shrugging. You couldn’t help but smile. He’s gotten better at showing he cared, a lot. It also helps that you know of his tiny crush on you. More like large, according to Sam, ever since your first encounter with them as you saved them. “Yeah, he hasn’t gotten sick in a while.” Dean affirmed and you both trotted to baby after setting the bodies aflame.

Dean always glanced at you as a whine escapes your parted lips, your hand trying to alleviate pressure from your back as you sat. You promptly twisted your upper body, grounding your feet and you heard the satisfying cracklings of your spine. You did it on the opposite side and you side, a little bit of the pain leaving your body. “Holy shit, (y/n), is that even safe?” He asked, stunned. You giggled, another sound he loved to hear. “It helps.” You winked and he chuckled, focusing on the road once again.

You had dropped by the pharmacy, got a lot of necessities, medicine, and first aid and all that to stock up the bunker, your new found home. After Dean getting a slice of pie, you were both heading back.

You and Dean brought all your stuff inside and Sam was in the library, on his laptop with a blanket draped around his back. “Hey Sammy,” You greeted, acquiring Dean’s nickname for him early on. You were two years older than him and he’d looked up to you as a sister, even though he still found himself being like an ‘over protective brother’ to you too. “Hey guys, how was the hunt?” He asked. “Totally good.” You replied, your smile turning sour when you bent down to put your bag down. “Are you hurt?” Sam immediately asked, pushing his chair back to stand up.

“No—no, I must’ve pulled something in my back, just gettin’ old,” You joked and he chuckled.

“You’re not old.” Dean snickered, playfully rolling his eyes. “Feels like it.” You scrunched your face and the brothers laughed. “I’m going to shower.” You announced and Dean decided to make soup for the three of you, most especially his sick brother. “You’re ogling her.” Sam teased, smirking at his brother. Dean scoffed. “Am not.” “If you say so.” Sam teased and Dean ran for the kitchen.

After letting hot water run down the expanse of your back for another minute, you stepped out of the shower, wiping down your whole body, putting on some loose jumper and some shorts. You went back to the library just as Dean was bringing a bowl of hot soup to Sam, who thanked him. “Eat up, sweetheart, this should help you too.” He grinned you murmured a thank you, before sitting down. “I think you two should rest and the three of us can do a case once you’re all better.” You said.

Sam smiled. “Don’t you like hunting with me? Like we used to back when Sam was in Stanford?” Dean pouted and you thought that was the cutest thing ever. You giggled and Sam’s smile grew wide. “I do, Dean, but I’m having issues with my back, and I know you’re pretty beaten up too, a couple of days isn’t gunna hurt.” You smiled and his pout went away. “How ‘bout I make pie tomorrow for us to enjoy?” You asked and he grinned. “Bribery accepted.” He hummed and you and the younger Winchester chuckled.

After the light dinner, you helped Sam out in the translation he was well occupying himself whilst being sick as Dean offered to clean up. The hours ticked by fast, Sam heavily asleep with the medication he’d taken. You were doing a bit of stretching when Dean passed by your bedroom. He arched an eyebrow, his eyes slowly looking at the expanse of your legs and the exposed skin by your hips with the jumper hanging low. “You okay there, sweetheart?” Dean asked and you looked up at him. You groaned and stood up. “Just, it’s either my spine’s all fucked up for I have a ton of knots in my back, like those wired earphones.” You scoffed and Dean laugh.

“Would you like me to give you a massage?” His tone had no malice but your brain went to multiple directions. “Yes,” You voiced out before you actually thought of it. You bit your lip and he just gave you a soft smile, entering your room then closing the door behind him. You took off your jumper to reveal a slim bralette you like to wear to sleep.

Dean tried his best not to groan at the sight, it wasn’t the first time he saw you in your underwear, heck, he’d accidentally seen you naked before, as you did to him. “I think I’ve got oil somewhere here,” Your voice cut out his incoherent thoughts and just nodded. You fished it out of your drawer and handed it to him before laying on your stomach on the bed. “’S it okay for me to sit on you?” He asked and you hummed in approval. He did as he suggested, sitting and trying not to put too much weight on your plump ass.

Dean poured a little bit of oil on your back, glistening in the light and he began to press his thumb on your muscles. You tried to bite back a moan but was unsuccessful. He could feel himself twitch at the sound but powered through, going lower on your back until he was massaging the small area between your ass and lower back, squeezing your hips. His hands felt soft despite having rough and calloused edges. The sheets in front of you were bunched up in your fists and you knew you were getting wetter as the seconds passed.

Dean’s hands were going up and down each arm and then back on your shoulders, your neck, then they slowly descended down to your waist. “Fuck, Dean.” You breathed and Dean jolted. He sucked in some air as if gathering some courage and descended to your ass, cupping and squeezing them. He moved towards your legs and started to massage your thighs and legs. “Tell me to stop if you don’t want this, (y/n).” When he was coming back up to squeeze your backside.

“Fuck, yes, continue.” You shivered at his tone and mumbled against the pillow and he chuckled darkly at how you’re reacting to his touches. His hands continued to massage your body but he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the valley of your shoulder and neck and you moaned, body tingling. You pushed back on your ass, Dean groaning as you brushed against his hardening length. “Fuck, baby.” He shut his eyes, his breath hot on your neck. It spurred you on, grinding up to him and his free hand lands on your hips, tight and warningly.

“Fuck me, Dean.” You whispered, leaning up towards the side where his face was. You moved your head more towards him and he kissed you feverishly. He sat back up, prying your legs open with his hands, this time, slowly running his fingers over your cloth-covered core, your hips bucking in response. Dean hooked his fingers on the waistband of your shorts and underwear, slowly stripping the pieces of clothing off of you, your ass slightly bouncing when it went over them and Dean but his lip, one of his hands grabbing a handful and squeezing. You lifted your hips up and brought your hands up to shimmy off your shorts since Dean got mildly distracted.

He squeezed your inner thigh and you instinctively tried to close them if not for his strong knees stopping them from moving. His fingers ran through your folds teasing your entrance and you couldn’t help but mewl. Dean clenched his jaw and pulled off his shirt. He then worked on your pants and you had to look back, meeting his eyes as you roamed his body. He gave you a boyish smirk and you swore you could come just by that. “You really want this, (y/n)...?” He whispered, leaning down to kiss your back, making you shiver, feeling his cock press against your ass.

“Heck yeah, would’ve asked you to massage me a long ass time ago if I knew this would happen.” Your voice was breathy as he started to grind his hips against yours. “Shit, babygirl, wish I’d known, would’ve done it sooner.” He whispered, nibbling on your earlobe, making you wetter by the second. He slowly pushed in, groaning at your tightness. “Fuck.” You pushed back, whimpering when his free hand grabbed your hips and thrusting in fully. “Dean!” You moaned.

He let you adjust before pulling back and slamming back in. “You’re so tight, baby.” He whispered, kissing your cheek. “Fuck me, Dean, please.” “Will do, babygirl.” He grunted and proceeded to pound you. Your moans and his grunts were echoing along the walls and you only hoped Sam was snoring away loud enough not to hear you. You were fisting the sheets in your hands as your hips bucked back to him. His thrusts were fast and erratic and soon enough, it was uneven yet hard enough to make you scream. “Fuck, (y/n), coming—“ He grunted. “Fuck!” You screamed. He felt you clench around his throbbing cock.

“Come for me, babygirl.” He whispered against your ear and you did, moaning out his name along with a string of profanities. He groaned, feeling overwhelmed with your tightness and just as you backed your hip up to him, he came, spilling deeply inside of you. He rode out both your orgasms and slowly lifted himself off of you. You twisted around to lay on your back and he leaned down, kissing you fully. “Are you satisfied with your massage?” He asked with a cocky smirk. You laughed, slapping his chest. “You gotta answer it, (y/n)!” He laughed. “Yes, Dean, it was a very very satisfying happy ending.” You answered with a wink, prompting him to laugh even more.

He leaned down and pecked your lips. “Well that leaves the question, will we finally be together?” He asked. You heart swelled as you leaned up, kissing him tenderly. “Absolutely.” You whispered.

Forever Babies:

@incorrect-quoted @deviljoonie @sallyp-53 @ilovefanfic86 @andkatiethings @malindacath @aunty-peggy @myloveofdean @miss-kristendior @baby7879 @xtina2191 @redsalv20 @hobby27 @fandom-princess-forevermore @jensens-snackles @akshi8278 @shadowkat-83 @onethirstyunicorn

Green-Eyed Lovers:

@brindz30 @polina-93

SPN Babes:

@adoptdontshoppets @lilulo-12

#dean x reader #dean smut #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester smut #dean fanfic #dean winchester fanfic #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #spn smut #supernatural smut #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #spn #dean #dean winchester

543 notes · View notes

alexamericus · 4 years

Text

I did the thing

So I did the thing. I wrote an itty bitty self indulgent self insert piece for Nightwolf. Inspired by doing two back to back 12-hour shifts at work on surgery days. I’m beat and fairly sore from getting my ass kicked by a massive baby of a husky, but today I have the day off and was able to bust this out really quick despite the writer’s block.

I honestly don’t think it’s that good; it’s pretty much a very short slice of life piece that I wrote in about an hour or so, but I am my worst critic in that I am hypercritical of my writing and it’s probably why I haven’t been able to write in so long. I have some other ideas that I’ll get to at some point. And who knows? Maybe the fics will get longer. It’s kind of dependent on my work hours, how exhausted I am, and how badly I got my ass kicked by huskies.

Now for the fic before I start regretting my choices:

It was late at night when she returned to her apartment; close to nine. She pulled into the assigned parking spot near the door to her apartment and stumbled out of her car, bringing her bag and lunchbox with her. She has just finished her twelve hour shift at the veterinary clinic where she worked as a veterinary technician. It was a surgery day, so it was already hectic, but the second doctor working that day was still taking rooms and was fully booked. Alex was in charge of labs and making sure everything was set to go for the surgeries and dentals; so between running all the bloodwork and other samples for the day, setting up the surgery suite and dental table, and occasionally assisting a doctor in a room - she was exhausted. Thankfully, she had the day off tomorrow and had no plans on doing anything or going anywhere. She had a twelve hour shift yesterday (which, coincidentally, was also a surgery day) and was ready to do absolutely nothing but watch television or play video games.

She nudged the door open as quietly as she could and tiptoed inside. She knew that her boyfriend Grey Cloud (known as Nightwolf to most) and her cat Ghost were probably asleep in the bedroom. She did her best to quietly unpack all of her stuff and put it away before rushing through a shower and crawling into bed, hopefully not waking either of them up. Fighting back loud yawns, she went into the kitchen to put away the lunchbox and ice pack, depositing her bag onto the couch on her way there. She’d take care of that cluttered mess later.

As she was moving about trying to put everything away, she heard the telltale “mrrah”s of her cat excitedly greeting her. Alex looked around for the fluffball and saw her coming down the hall, the feline increasing her pace once she realized the person that rescued her from the streets had finally come home. For her longer shifts, Alex frequently left before the sun completely rose, especially during the colder months, and oftentimes didn’t get back until well after dark, leaving Ghost home alone for most of the day.

Alex knelt down onto the floor, knowing that Ghost would refuse to be quiet (or even start meowing louder, potentially waking Grey) until she gave in and gave her affection or kitty cookies. As she ran her hand through Ghost’s soft fur, the cat almost immediately went quiet and started purring and drooling out of happiness, even placing her front paws on Alex’s legs to stretch up and rub against her face.

Wiping the cat slobber away, she picked up the fluffy cat and exited the kitchen only to walk past the corner counter and find that a large person was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall. The figure reached over to the opposite wall and slid the light switch up just a small bit so the lights would turn on, but remain dim enough to not blind everyone. The man had a soft yet tired smile on his face that made Alex feel bad almost instantly.

“I woke you up, did I?” She said sadly. It was bad enough that Grey sometimes insisted on staying up later than he normally would to wait for her to come home after a longer or later shift, but it felt worse when he did decide to go to bed and not wait for her and she would wake him up with her stumbling around. Their apartment was not big by any means and the walls were pretty thin, so sound traveled more than Alex would care for it to.

Grey’s smile widened a little as he replied, “You didn’t.” He pointed to the cat who was currently kneading Alex’s collarbone. “She did. She must’ve heard you come in and, as she had decided my chest was a wonderful bed, was practically tap-dancing on my sternum to get up and rush out the door to greet you.” He finished with a chuckle.

Alex turned her head to slightly glare at her cat, who responded by lifting her paw to gently pat her cheek and bringing her face closer to lick Alex’s chin. “Why are you the way that you are?” She asked.

The rhetorical question elicited another laugh from her boyfriend. “She loves you, that’s why. You did tame her after all.”

“She was probably already tame, just left behind or got out.” Alex countered. While yes, Grey was right in that she had spent a lot of time rehabilitating Ghost and getting her used to human interaction again, it was unlikely that Ghost was ever fully feral. She had an unregistered microchip and was most likely spayed since she never displayed any behavior to the contrary. Not to mention that, within a few days, Alex was picking Ghost up and putting her in her lap. A week after that, Alex couldn’t sit down fast enough before Ghost would practically catapult herself into Alex’s lap.

Grey shrugged, lightly pushing himself away from the wall to join his partner in the middle of the living room. “Then you helped her regain trust in humans again.” He reached over and gave Ghost some scritches on her cheek, which she happily leaned into and closed her eyes. While giving her much-appreciated pets, he looked at Alex and noted the large quantity of fur that didn’t belong to their cat clinging to her scrubs. “Nice fur coat.” He jokingly noted. “Did you have a husky come in today?”

Alex nodded. “A great big baby of a white husky with a cut on his paw that turned out to be almost nothing.” She explained, letting out a breathy laugh as she remembered having to wrangle this sixty-some pound dog with one of her coworkers to try and get the husky to sit still long enough for the doctor to look at his paw. It proved to be more difficult than any of them imagined as the husky would thrash about after a few seconds of restraint, refused to have the mildly injured paw touched, and apparently was super sensitive to needles. Alex was the main restrainer (a hilarious concept to her as she stood a laughable five-foot-two and was a whopping 110 pounds soaking wet) and had the dog nearly knock his head into hers no less than three times, was successful twice, jumped all around on her legs, slammed her against a wall, nearly kick her in the face with his back paws twice, and almost had a needle go into her eye as he thrashed about refusing to have his heartworm prevention injected under his skin by the doctor. Thankfully, he was just being, as huskies are, a big scared baby and wasn’t aggressive toward anyone. “I’ll humor you with the story tomorrow.” She let out a wide yawn. “Right now, I’m beat.”

“I can see that.” Grey replied. “Here, hand Ghost over and go get your shower. You’re sleeping in tomorrow and that’s that.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he took the cat from Alex’s arms, leaning down and giving the poor, exhausted woman a light kiss on her forehead. Alex tried, and failed, to beat back another wide yawn. Already she felt her body start to slow down and beg her to go to bed. She just knew she was going to sleep like the dead, especially if she got her sleeping aid on board.

Rubbing her eyes in an attempt to not collapse on the floor and just sleep on the carpet, she mumbled out an incoherent reply and shuffled towards the bathroom, getting herself ready to brush her teeth before hopping into a hot shower. Grey walked past her to futilely place Ghost in her cat bed and swipe Alex’s pajamas from the chair in the corner of the room, handing them off to her and closing the bathroom door before Ghost could force her way in. The fluffy feline looked up at the tall Native American man and gave him a sad meow, letting him know how disappointed she was that she couldn’t bother Alex while she got cleaned up.

“The bathroom isn’t a vortex, Ghost - she’s not going anywhere.” Grey told the cat as he bent back down to pick her up again, wincing a little as Ghost started to knead his exposed collarbone. “You need a nail trim.” He sat back down on the bed with the cat, leaning against the headboard and letting the affectionate feline lay on his chest while fighting back the need to sleep. Seeing his girlfriend so tired and watching her yawn didn’t help him at all, having been awake since four in the morning so he could see her off to work and trying to stay up to welcome her back from work. She had sent him a text close to eight o’clock saying that she was just then clocking out, but she still had to set up some things for the next day. It wasn’t uncommon for Alex to stay at work late when she was working a twelve hour shift, especially on a surgery day. He didn’t mind it at all: she was hard at work doing what she loved. Plus, the long hours allowed her to have more days off during the week so she could recover from these exhausting days.

About twenty minutes later, just as Grey was about to nod off again, he felt someone crawl into the bed next to him. Alex had snuck back into the bedroom and was in the process of crawling into their shared bed and making herself comfortable for the night, throwing the blankets over herself and all but melting into the mattress, finally able to completely relax for the day.

Ghost wriggled away from Grey and went over to Alex, meowing and sniffing at her face. The cat’s whiskers tickled her face made Alex pull a face and open her eyes, giving a displeased noise. “Your breath stinks, kitty.”

“She does get fish flavored wet food twice a day.” Grey reminded her, grinning. He turned onto his side to face her, watching her as she scrunched her noise at the smell.

“Stinky.” Alex mumbled into her pillow, hiding her nose away from the stench of Ghost’s breath. “Stink kitty. Nasty.”

“Now, now - don’t be mean.” Grey lightly scolded wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist and gently pulling her closer to him. As he did, Ghost flitted around the bed trying to find a spot to snuggle up and sleep, occasionally batting at their feet under the blankets as they shifted positions to get comfortable. She eventually found her spot behind Alex’s knees. Grey laid down on his back and let Alex scoot closer to him, snuggling up to his side once she found a comfortable position, placing her hand on his chest - just over his heart - while he wrapped his around her shoulders, giving her a small hug. Alex gave a low, satisfied hum as she basked in the warmth he always seemed to radiate, beginning to drift off.

Grey rested his head against Alex’s, brushing his thumb against her shoulder. “Get some sleep.” He said softly, giving her one more kiss on the forehead. “You earned it.”

There was only a hum for a reply as Alex snuggled against him, nestling herself in his embrace. Grey used his free hand and tugged one of the blankets further up to provide her with more warmth and comfort, a soft look on his face when he saw it was the blanket she had made for him as a Christmas present. Sighing at the fond memory, he looked over to her and watched her as her eyes began to close.

Just before she slipped into her dreams, Alex softly said, “I love you Grey.”

Grey smiled as he felt his heart swell a little bit. “I love you too.”

#mortal kombat #nightwolf #my bad writing #I am at your mercy writing gods of tumblr #for real tho - why are there so many gotdamn huskies in AZ?

15 notes · View notes

storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.9

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: So sorry I am getting later on posts. But I really like this chapter and I hope you guys do too its a lot of fluff and shit. So who doesn’t like that right

Thanks for being understanding everyone and I love you all and thank you for always giving feedback!

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8

I sat in my own cell room finally. All the others that had clambered off the bus from Woodbury were well asleep by now, after we cleaned out many more cellblocks in order to house them all. I should've been asleep by now too, but the thing was I couldn't. Every nerve in my body was tense. Everyone was just sort of hoping and praying that the Governor was dead, but that's crazy to think it would be that easy or simple. He was alive and he would be back for me. I knew he would come back for me. He would want me again and he would run his hands up and down my body again and he would...

My breaths were short gasps. I didn't know what was happening to me. I put a hand to my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly out of control. Fear of not being able to control myself seized me and I felt the tears stream down my cheeks and my body temperature get feverishly hot. I shook my head and sobbed harder, trying to get all the invasive thoughts about the Governor out of my head because, like always, he was the cause of this nightmare.

I stumbled out of my cell and held onto the railing that overlooked the rest of the sleeping prison. I pressed my hand over my mouth to force myself to be silent and keep in my crying. The last thing I wanted was for people to see or hear me like this. They would all worry about me and see me as some weak piece of shit. I could get through this without any help. I would get through this without any help.

When I heard people shuffling around I freaked even more, running for one of the doors to outside. I didn't remember at the time, but Rick had mentioned that someone would be keeping watch here at all times incase the Governor did return. We were doubling up on watching outposts and someone would be in the fenced in area that I headed for, but I wasn’t thinking straight. In fact the only thing I was thinking was how i needed to run away from people and from my own mind and from all the problems of the world that swirled around me like a demonic plague.

I burst through the door and hit the fence, still gasping for air as the cool wind washed over my flushed skin. I looked out over the courtyard before squeezing my eyes closed, trying my best to control my breathing. I felt another stream of tears come with my incoherent thoughts about the Governor returning. He would be back for me. He would be back. I couldn't stop him then and I won't be able to stop him now. I was too weak, I can't do anything to fight against him.

Someone clearing their throat behind me sent another jolt of fear up my spine. I whirled around, my body visibly shaking with fear.

Daryl stood there with his hands shoved down into his pockets and his face drawn in concern. "S'wrong?"

I tried to speak but only little gasps came out. He analyzed the situation rather quickly and blinked at me, not knowing what the fuck he was supposed to do. In two long strides he was directly in front of me, searching my face with an overwhelming amount of concern. When his calloused hands closed around my arms I lost my shit again.

All I could think about or feel was the Governor's hands closing around my wrists, pulling me around to where he wanted me to go or pinning my down on a table or against the wall. It was a literal fucking nightmare, except the catch was that I couldn't just wake the fuck up.

Daryl recoiled from me upon seeing me reacting worse when he touched me. I couldn't get the words out for him to not touch me, but Daryl usually didn't need words to understand what I was feeling anyway. He understood me like he was a God damn mind reader sometimes.

Getting flustered now, Daryl took a few more steps back, giving me as much space as I needed. "I'll get Maggie," he suggested, thinking she could help better than he.

But there was no fucking way I was letting anyone else see my embarrassing breakdown. It was bad enough Daryl had caught me in this state, but if it had to be somebody I would prefer it be him. We had seen each other at our lowest points I feel like, so him seeing me like this wasn't as bad. Plus, his presence always seemed to calm me down for some fucking reason. It was like I felt okay when I was with him, as if he could protect me. God... I was a fucking pussy.

Daryl turned to retrieve Maggie like he had said, but I rushed forward and grabbed his hand before he could leave. He halted in place, looking to me for explanation as to why I didn't want him to go. I don't think he got the message, but he didn't leave regardless. He just let me stand there, holding his hand like a child, until my breathing started to return to normal. I felt utterly exhausted as I tried to only focus on his thumb rubbing at the back of my sweaty hand.

I don't know what the fuck came over me, but I suddenly yanked on his hand hard, pulling him to me so I could wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

He flinched at first, probably thinking I was going to hurt him instead of hug him. Hell, I had never shown any kind of affection to anyone since the world went to shit, so being thrown off guard was valid. I just really needed a fucking hug right now, now that I could stand to be touched again after that episode. I needed to know that there was someone who could save me from drowning in my own cowardly mind. I was stupid to think the Governor would ever return for me. Even if he did come back, he didn’t give a shit about whether I was alive or not. That made me even more upset to think about how he could put me through so much pain only to forget about me in a few hours. He gets to roam the world, unaffected by what he did to me, while I’m sat here letting myself think up irrational situations that send me head over heels into a panic attack.

It took Daryl only a second to relax against me and return my hug by wrapping his arms tight around my middle. His touch was timid after I had been so horrified at his touch earlier, but when his hand came up to hold the back of my head I swear I liquified in his grasp.

As childish as it may sound, I had thought of this before, how it would feel for Daryl to hug me to him. This was not the situation I had hoped for, however. I looked like a weak little bitch at the moment, unable to keep myself together. He didn't seem to mind though, only held me tighter. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck gratefully and breathed in the scent of cigarettes and leather. He was dirty and sweaty and gruff and exactly what I needed.

After my trembling ceased and my breaths were evenly natural, he spoke but didn't pull away from me. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

I knew he was only asking because I had been there for him when he was having his breakdown back when Merle died. He needed someone and I was all there was. Now our positions were switched. He didn't really care, he just felt that he owed me. Or at least that was what I convinced myself anyways.

"The Governor," was all I was able to squeak out.

"He ain't comin' back," Daryl sounded so sure of it. "And he sure as hell ain't gettin' to you."

His reassuring words only mildly comforted me. "You don't know that. He'll come back and he'll hurt me again and..." Another burst of fear strangled back the rest of my sentence.

Daryl did pull away from me now so he could get a good look at me. "Did he–?" He wanted confirmation about what he already assumed, but the question died at his lips. He thought better of asking details about the Governor. Deep down he knew the Governor raped me, so what was the point in asking and opening up old wounds.

I refused to meet his eyes, ashamed of what had happened to me. I was a little scared of how he would react too, like he would think less of me because of it. I worked my entire life to come off as a girl who could handle herself. I was supposed to look tough all of the time, supposed to be unbreakable. But here I was, fucking broken.

"If that Governor isn't already dead," Daryl said, his voice a guttural growl of hatred. "I'll fucking kill that man. I'll rip him to pieces if I see him again."

I swiped my eyes with the back of my hand and huffed out a harsh laugh. "Not if I beat you to it."

The corner of his mouth switched up into a smile and I felt my entire body relax at the sight. He had gotten me out of me attack for the most part, but I still didn't want to go back inside. I didn't want to feel trapped inside of there just yet. I needed the sense of freedom that being outside was giving me and Daryl sensed that too.

"You can stay here t'night. I'll go keep watch in the tower." He was already gathering up his things that he had out here with him and getting ready to leave me alone when I caught him by the elbow, less aggressively than I had stopped him earlier.

He looked back at me questioningly still yet. "Do you–" I felt like an idiot asking. I seriously wanted to kick myself in the face sometimes. "Do you think you could stay."

I watched him think it over, swallowing hard. I was relieved when he nodded slowly, biting at his lip. "Yeah."

"I have these nightmares of him. I just can't be alone right now." I hated how weak my voice sounded, but it was true. Being alone was not an option anymore, Daryl had been right when he told me that on our way home after Merle had been killed. "We can't do anything without people anymore." I let the words flutter from my lips, hoping he would recognize that they were his own. I made my decision right then and there. I wasn't leaving this group, even if they had killed the Governor. I couldn't handle the world alone anymore. That might mean I will see the people I care about here getting hurt, but I suppose it was all worth the risk.

Daryl wore a soft grin on his lips. He understood why I needed to stay and he understood why I needed him with me right now. He had nightmares too, maybe not like I did, but everyone had them these days.

He sat down with his back against the fence and I followed suit. We sat shoulder to shoulder and I was pleased when he let my head fall to rest on him without a fight. I sat that way, listening to his deep breaths until my exhaustion beat out the fear that was keeping me up, and I was consumed with darkness.

***

I woke up feeling better than I ever had. I must have actually slept that night. Strange.

The morning sun was beginning to shine down on me, enveloping me in an indescribable warmth. I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed to enjoy the comfort I felt, snuggling down closer to the person I was laying on, their arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders like a blanket of safety. My insides swarmed with a hazy comfort. I would stay that way for the rest of my life if I could.

Then realization dawned on me.

My eyes shot open as the events of last night came back to be in a rush. Daryl had let me stay with him and I fell asleep on his shoulder. I must have moved in my sleep without realizing it because I wasn’t just on his fucking shoulder now.

Instead, my cheek was pressed up against his hard chest, rising and falling with his breaths. I was partially on top of him with one leg thrown over top of his. His heavy arm was drawn across my shoulders, holding me securely up against him.

I was seized at how utterly embarrassed I would feel if he woke up to see that I was latched onto him like a leech. I really needed to get out of here and fast, but he was just so warm. I rolled my eyes up to see him snoozing away still and I decided that a few more seconds wouldn't hurt, he just felt too damn good.

Wait... what? No. No. No. No. I was not letting myself think like that right now. I had just come to terms with having friends, there was no way in hell I was going to get involved in anything romantic right now. Just the idea of it was hysterical. He would probably be disgusted if he woke up right now. How could I even think he would feel just as good as I did right now. We practically hated one another almost all the fucking time. We were always bitching about something the other was doing or saying or whatever. We were never together under happy circumstances. It was always either depressing moments where we needed comfort or disagreeing and bullshit arguments. And I needed to peel out before this turned into another one of those arguments.

I glanced up to check one more time if he was awake. His deep breaths told me he was not. I slowly peeled myself away from him ever so carefully. He probably noticed me against him at some point in the night, but I prayed he didn't register it was me, just like I hadn't registered it at first either.

Once I was free of his grasp I took one final look at his sleeping form before I grinned and hobbled back inside to get ready for the day. Because with all these fucking people here now, it was bound to be a long one.

***

Taglist:

@daryldixonandfrogs @jodiereedus22 @xchrisxevansx

30 notes · View notes