#i go out with friends for one day and im falling asleep on the bus lets not

[watchmegetobsessed]

LOVE AND TOUR

A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

2010

The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.

He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.

The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.

Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.

Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.

When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.

“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 

“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.

“I’m sure you will crush it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 

Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.

Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.

2013

The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 

Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 

He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 

Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 

He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.

Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 

He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.

Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.

2014

The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 

He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.

Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.

“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”

His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.

He sees Y/N.

Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 

He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 

Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 

He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 

It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 

2019

Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.

One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.

The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.

But he wants to change that.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 

Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 

Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 

One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 

He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 

It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.

He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.

At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.

Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 

His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.

“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 

“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.

Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 

“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 

She looks gorgeous. 

Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.

“How long are you staying?” he then asks.

“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”

He sighs in relief. 

“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.

“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.

“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.

“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.

“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 

“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”

Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.

“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”

2020

“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.

Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.

ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 

It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.

There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.

“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.

“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.

“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”

“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.

“I know. But I want to see you.”

“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.

“Okay, then let me visit you.”

“You’re way too busy to come here.”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.

They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.

Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.

The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.

“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”

Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.

“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”

There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.

Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.

HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?

With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.

Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.

HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.

Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 

Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.

She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 

It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.

But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.

He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.

“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.

“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.

However their feelings are nowhere near the same.

He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.

“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

2021

He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 

Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 

He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.

“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 

“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.

“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.

“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”

He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.

“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.

It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.

Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.

“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.

Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.

“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.

“You’ll be out there?”

“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”

“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.

“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.

“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.

2023

The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.

She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.

“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.

“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”

Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.

“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.

“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”

“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”

Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 

Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.

Or fiancé, to be exact. 

When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.

He is not there anymore, because he has her. 

She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.

Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.

“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”

The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 

For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 

When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.

“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.

“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”

Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

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[yrthr]

☾ ONLY US ; S.HANBIN

s.hanbin masterlist / zb1 masterlist ; wc 0.893k

➛ genre / trope ; best-friends to lovers 🎧 — hello ! decided to go with a drabble and scenario is so cliché i love it and hopefully this isn’t too long i got carried away. and also hopefully its okay that this is in a school setting , im a sucker for school romance.

hanbin is affectionate and extremely clingy by nature and it shows through your friendship. however , recently , it seems as though he’s a bit too clingy.

“ y/n ! let me carry your bags for you. “

“ oh you have a lil’ something on your face , hold on… got it ! “

“ do you wanna go to the arcade after school ? my treat. “

“ its cold today , i brought a spare jacket for you. “

you’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t flutter at these things hanbin would do for you. you weren’t dense but it was absurd.

hanbin potentially having feelings for you ?

lets snap out of the delusions.

there was always something deep down in your heart for hanbin , although you weren’t sure if those feelings were romantic or platonic.

but you’d never confess , obviously.

“ i’ll see you after class , don’t fall asleep ! “

hanbin told you , giving you one of his bright smiles while continuously waving goodbye until you were out of his vision.

lord he acted as if he was enlisting.

tuesdays , wednesdays and thursdays were considered hell for hanbin. which teacher placed him and you in separate math classes because its on sight. well , at least he’d get to walk you home every time. [ and woohoo for dismissal ]

finally class had ended which had hanbin bursting out those doors like it was an action movie. he made his way to your classroom , ready to call out your name , just to see…

… you talking and laughing with max.

he stood outside the backdoors , watching the interaction and how you were so comfortable around his presence. how you laughed so hard at his jokes that you had to hit him. [ hanbin noticed you did this occasionally when you were really losing your shit ]

hanbin’s smile dropped ever so slightly and his heart felt like it had been punched.

a surge of anger rushed through his veins as slightly protective yet possessive thoughts flooded his mind.

he brushed it off.

sure , he definitely had feelings for you but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t make new friends.

“ y/n ! if you’re ready lets go. “

hanbin grabbed the handle of your bag about to prop it up on his shoulders when you stopped him.

“ actually , im going to the mall with max today. “

“ oh. “

“ uhm okay , have fun ! remember to text me when you get home. “

“ yeah , i will. “

hanbin ruffled your hair endearingly before walking away. [ he had to practically drag himself away from you ]

he looked back giving you a smile which you didn’t notice , too busy talking to your other male companion.

the bus ride home was lonely hanbin didn’t have anyone to give the window seat to or lean his head on their shoulder , not even to trace words or patterns on the back of someones hand.

the silent trip made him realise how much more you meant to him , if that was even possible. as before he already considered you his world.

‘ its okay.. it’s just for today. ‘

well , the next few days were definitely worse.

hanbin saw you with max at times apart from math class.

he’d walk to your shared table in between classes , both of you would talk with hand signals or just your eyes , sharing stupid tiktoks.

all these things you used to do with hanbin , and him alone , were now shared with some other guy.

hanbin was well aware he was jealous , maybe a bit hurt too.

of course you both would hang out but to see you share your smile , laugh and humour with someone other than him was … gut wrenching to say the least.

but he couldn’t blame you.

one day , hanbin couldn’t control his emotions anymore.

you and hanbin were sitting at a bench behind the school that was the usual hangout spot.

out of no where max popped out giving you a grin , plopping himself right next to you and swinging an arm around your shoulders. he started blabbing about something irrelevant , and completely ignoring the other male.

“ we have to go now. “

hanbin gently grabbed your hand and guided you to the empty student council room.

“ jesus that guy had some fucking spy gear or something. “

you joked.

you looked up seeing hanbin’s eyes slightly darting around to look at you , his lips slightly ajar , his hand still holding yours and his other hand reaching up to caress your cheek.

“ i have to get this off my chest. y/n i really really like you. like like you. and if you don’t feel the same or you’re already dating max , thats fine. i just want you to know that. “

your lips perked up into a smirk like smile and scoffed.

you looked down , “ that was somewhat insulting , i do have standards you know. “

“ but yeah , i guess i like like you too. “

hanbin’s smile grew wider showing off his bunny teeth and he couldnt help but let out a few laughs.

“ may i ? “

you nodded.

you closed your eyes expecting his lips on yours but instead felt a soft peck on the tip of your nose.

“ that’ll have to wait , i’ll plan something special. “

and with that your heart couldn’t handle it anymore , burying yourself into his chest.

hanbins arms wrapped around you , squeezing you.

the once empty room was filled with uncontrollable giggles and a newly formed couple.

divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

©️ yrthr 2023

#zb1 #zb1 drabbles #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #sung hanbin #boys planet scenarios #boys planet imagines #zb1 fics #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 15

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Stephen Malkmus:

"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"

"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"

"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"

"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."

"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"

"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"

""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."

"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."

"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"

"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"

"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"

#most attractive 90s musician #poll #polls #90s music #tournament #tracy chapman #stephen malkmus #pavement

[somewosoloverrr]

heyy i wanted to request max x r. Maybe they fight and then late at night r cant sleep so goes over to Max's trailer and apologises and the end up cuddling or smth like that? Thanks btw

Heyy, I love this. Thanks for requesting <33

Requests are open btw if anyone wants to request anything.

FIGHT

Warnings : curse words, verbal fight?, cheating implied

It rarely happened, you and Max almost never fought even after a year of dating you only fought like three times.

However today was one of those rare days. You and Max had come back from school and you noticed she was being distant. You knew she was mad but didn’t know why, you tried asking her but she just ignored you. So when the school bus dropped you off you followed her into her trailer.

“What do you want y/n?” She asked pissed off. “Why are you acting like this? What’s wrong?” You asked confused.

“What’s wrong?” She sarcastically repeated “gee I don’t know, it’s just that my girlfriend was all over her teammate, and ignored eye contact with me the whole day” she finished her face red from madness.

Her accusation also made you mad so you didn’t hold back when replying “that’s bullshit, how many times do I have to tell you we are just fucking FRIENDS !”

“Yeah right” the read head scoffed. “I must’ve forgot that friends hold hands,flirt and hug all the time” she finished her sarcastic remark

“You always fucking do this! Oh my god” you exclaimed madly, she was being selfish right…?

“Do what?!” Max questioned

“Get mad over nothing, because everything is always about you” you replied while chucking

“THATS not true! That’s bullshit and you know it!” The ginger headed girl snarked back.

Your couldn’t do this, you hated fights so you decided to leave. “We’ll if it’s such bullshit I’ll just leave!” You finished as you opened her front door and slammed it as you walked out.

As you were walking to your trailer you started to question, if you where right or if she was right..

After eating dinner and your dad telling you to go to sleep you went to your room and later on your bed, closing your eyes to try and fall asleep.

But you couldn’t, as the thoughts of your rough fight with your girlfriend flooded your mind. You sighed knowing you really fucked up, instead of reassuring that you only love her, you said she was selfish.

So you decided to stop tossing and turning in your bed and silently got up. You put a sweatshirt on top of your pajamas and put on some random shoes as you opened your window and jumped outside.

You jogged to Maxs trailer which was nearby, once you got there you inhaled a big breath and then knocked on her window.

No reply came, her lights were turned off so she might’ve been sleeping. Nevertheless you knocked again, again and again… Around 10 minutes had passed and you almost gave up until you heard the floor boards creaking.

And just like that Max appeared in the window and looked tired. Apparently she couldn’t sleep either.

As she opened her window she noticed how cold it was outside so she said “come in, it’s freezing outside”

“Thanks” your replied as you climbed inside her room. Once you got inside you shut the window and looked at your girlfriend who was sitting on the bed.

“Max” “y/n” both of you said at the same time and laughed as she suggested “you go first”

“I just, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I burst out on you when I should’ve reassured you. Oh god I’m so stupid -“

“Hey shh,” the red head interrupted your rambling as she stood up and put a finger on your lips. “It’s okay, i should’ve believed you when you told me nothing was going on. So im sorry for starting the fight” she apologizing back.

You smiled hearing this and leaned in to kid her, it felt so good. Her lips on yours as she cupped your face and you put your arms on the back of her head. It was short but sweet. “God, you’re cold” Max said noticing it when she touched your face.

“Come on let’s cuddle, we don’t want you catching a cold..” she trailed off as she grabbed your hand guiding you to her bed.

You both got under the covers and you immediately hid your face in the crook of her neck as she pulled the cover over your cold figure and then played with your hair knowing it calms you down.

“Let’s never fight again, I missed you too much” you said in a sleepy tone. You felt max chuckle at your words “yeah let’s never fight again” she agreed as she kissed your forehead.

After a few minutes both of you fell asleep completely content with each other.

#max mayfield x reader #max mayfield #max mayfield imagine #stranger things #sadie sink #sadie sink x reader #sadie sink imagine #stranger things x you #stranger things imagine #nancy wheeler x reader #maxine stranger things #maxine mayfield

[egirlgarak]

@annahamiltonsstuff asked a while back if I could post about my little Franz playlist, so here we are! thanks for asking, I had fun streamlining and annotating :3c it’s all under the cut, but you can listen here :]

Burning of the Midnight Lamp - Jimi Hendrix

The morning is dead, and the day is too There's nothing left here to lead me but the velvet moon All my loneliness I have felt today It's a little more than enough to make a man throw himself away And I continue to burn the Midnight Lamp, alone

Jimi song about being a lonely insomniac? yeah, sure. that's for franz.

Asleep in the Deep - Mastodon

The moment you walked in the room my friend The demons, they all went away Be careful they're only asleep for a while Pretending there's nothing to say. Throw salt in all the corners here Make sure you watch him leave

i think several people have come into franz’s life, stayed just long enough to shine their light on him, just long enough for him to wonder what his life could be. gave him just enough of their time for him to envision a man he could and would never be. and in the end, they leave. every time. some by choice (laura, carlo, mikesch- though i think franz was the one to leave mikesch that summer decades ago, too afraid of his own bisexuality), others not (Im Freien Fall, Am Endes des Flurs). so, yes, people come, they help put his fears to rest, and then they leave and franz is alone again with memories of these people he’s loved and the fear that he’s never been enough and he’ll always be alone.

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead - Gorillaz

When we go down For all the sacred selfless days Only left with heartache I want to see you again I love you But what are we going to do?

but the person who’s been by his side the whole time? the one he thought he could trust to the end? he doesn’t even have that. Der Tod ist unser ganzes Leben is such a delicious heartbreak of an episode with how distant Franz and Ivo are from each other. All Franz wants to do is protect Ivo because he trusts him. but then Ivo turns around and lies to his face and Franz, again, is left to wonder what the last twenty years have meant.

Veteran of the Psychic Wars - Blue Öyster Cult

You see me now, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars My energy's spent at last and my armor is destroyed I have used up all my weapons and I'm helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I'm made of

idk man, boy’s got trauma, what else is there to say.

Capsize - The Low Blow

Blood on my hands I'm a lonely man So afraid of the lovers I seek For I'm dancing in a burning field Of these love letters I'll never speak (…) Tears on my cheek don't make me weak Nor does loving the beautiful Cause I'm stronger than hell when I'm looking at you

ok, see. i think franz has hardened as he’s aged, but at his core I do think he’s quite gentle (specifically envisioning crying Franz in Blutiger Asphalt & Frau Bu Lacht) and, really, how else can he cope with the loss he’s experienced in his life than by protecting himself from everything else. so for all the pain and suffering franz has gone through, there is something genuinely beautiful about the love franz and ivo share, and i think a lot of franz’s strength comes from loving and being loved by ivo.

Love Hurts - Incubus

Love hurts But sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings When it transcends the bad things Have a heart and try me 'Cause without love, I won't survive

see again: the concept of being a broken man coming to terms with loving and being loved, even amidst your mental illnesses

Hurt - Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel,  (…) Everyone I know Goes away in the end

would love to just copy paste the whole ass song in here. i won’t. but it’s a franz song. [see: die Wahrheit & also every other Franz and the No Good Very Bad day episode]

I Am All I Got - The Dead Brothers

I remember the day When I cried out for help No one came running And that′s when I first knew I am all I got!

two songs that wouldnt apply to franz if he would just either: a) go to therapy b) go to bed c) go let ivo spoon him (ideally all of the above, but i’ll settle for even just one. please franzl. we can’t keep doing this)

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse Out of the corner of my eye I turned to look, but it was gone I cannot put my finger on it now The child is grown, the dream is gone I have become comfortably numb

We all already know that Franz’s massive daddy issues are the root of most of his woes and sorrows, right? His abusive father played a fundamental role in how he learned to navigate the world around him. i think this is less canon and more the effects of @weidli’s word weaving but the concept of franz, as a little boy, doing everything he can to be worthy of his father’s affection, only for the man to turn around with a scowl on his face and a belt in his hands? no child deserves that. no one would come out of that undamaged. then 40 years down the line this same man commits assisted suicide without saying goodbye (Außer Gefecht) and now Franz is left wondering if there was ever any love there.

But it’s okay! Franz has a coping mechanism. It’s called Depression.

#bas.txt #tatort münchen #putting this together just made me realize how much of a depressed bastard he is to me #girl (franz) go get help #not me tho. im fine and normal (delusional)

[the-casbah-way]

i would sell my soul to get some of that dtl jedtavius domesticity. you can’t just tease me like this my dude -rivstyx

i genuinely do think i have an entire fic's worth of domestic lore in my head but here's just some of the things i think about a lot

jed making breakfast every morning and octavius insisting he doesn't want any because he's not a breakfast person, then ending up eating it all anyway and going 'jed :( im still hungry :(' and jed giving him half of his own breakfast because he deliberately made more than he can eat so he could give the extra to octavius

octavius being the sleepiest bastard on earth and constantly complaining about how tired he is, only to voluntarily wake up super early in the morning to drive jed to work whenever jed is too overstimulated to take the bus

we all know that jed sings everywhere he goes and octavius loves to listen but what about when octavius sings to himself really badly when he's not thinking about it and doesn't realise jed is paying attention. and jed just staring with literal heart eyes and octavius getting embarrassed when he notices

THEM SHARING EACH OTHER'S CLOTHES. I THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY

jed leaving octavius little scraps of paper around the house with poems and lyrics he wrote about him and octavius having to try SO hard not to smile like a fucking idiot (especially when jed slips one into his brief case and he finds it at work and dexter is like 'why are you blushing' and octavius is like 'shut the fuck up')

octavius taking extra work home and stressing out about it and falling asleep on his keyboard with like five cups of coffee until jed carries him to bed and secretly goes back to correct any errors octavius made with the numbers because he was too tired to concentrate

them ranting CONSTANTLY about people they hate from work. and then when they go to work the next day jed will catch octavius' eye from across the room and do a terrible impression of said coworker and octavius has to try his best not to laugh

jed helping octavius shave because he's way less clumsy with it and saying shit like 'you have beautiful eyes' when they're right up close to each other and octavius telling him to shut up as if he's not flustered by it

jed reminding octavius to take his meds every morning, handing each pill to him one by one and going "...this one for your shitty kness...and this one for your migraines...' then handing him his antidepressant saying 'and this one for your beautiful brain' and giving him a little kiss on the forehead

octavius buying jed literally anything he ever needs without jed having to ask and telling jed that he's allowed to pay him back one day if it makes him more comfortable accepting the money

jed moving into octavius' house and bringing his dog with him. octavius having Very Mixed Feelings about it because he doesn't like dogs but then months later jed finds octavius asleep on the couch with his dog curled up beside him

just their blended friend group with al, ahk, tilly, larry and sacajawea and all the cute nights in and chaotic nights out they probably get up to (also jed and ahk teaming up to bully octavius constantly and al and tilly becoming the world's most unlikely besties)

i have so many more but i already made this way too long oops anyway im unwell about this au

#thank you sm for this ask this was fun #down then left

[starburstcosmos]

god, let me TELL YOU about the day i fucking had.

this morning: fell asleep at MAYBE 3:30 for a 5 alarm to catch a greyhound leaving at 6:45. which didn't leave until after 8. my connection was at 11:50, we arrived at 11:55ish. thank the punk rock gods, the connecting bus was still here.

BUT OH NO. in my rush to get to the connection (in a cast and hobbling my best because fuck the crutches), my headphone case (sans headphones) falls out of my pocket in a sacrifice to the punk rock gods. devastating, i can't charge my headphones without the case, but whatever, they're charged enough to get me through the connecting bus ride, and I have backups at home, where I will be after the show anyways.

my friends pick me up in at the stop and head to the venue to get in line. after a few merch mishaps and bracelet trades, im at my seat. it's a GREAT view, and i realise that one of the bits of the show i love is going to happen about ten feet from my seat. fuck yeah. by the time fob is set to go on, even better seats have opened up, incredible! I'll be five feet away from pete!

now, let me take you on a detour: one of the things we as the fans have been doing this tour is printing out pink seashells to light up during fake out to turn the venue pink, and we've been doing it since the tour started in Wrigley. its a group effort with people handing out shells to people without and explaining how it works.

right before fall out boy is set to start, im doing my best to pass out shells when someone taps me on the shoulder and asks, "do you want to give a shell to Pete's girlfriend?" immediately i say yes, of course!

another tangent: i have made several bracelets for both shows i went to. four of these are for fall out boy, saying thanks. I tried in indy to get them to the boys through crew to no avail.

so, after i give meagan, pete's girlfriend, a bit of the spiel and some shells, i humbly request, "i made bracelets for the boys saying thanks, is there a chance you'd be willing to give them to them?" she agrees! another win!!

dance, dance rolls around, im screaming my head off, i get video of pete doing his magic trick (and patrick waving his fingers to pretend like he's the one doing the magic -- ill put everything into a gdrive folder later and post a link somewhere) and then pete is five feet away from me in his mesh rose shirt and im having the TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

the show ends, im waiting for people to clear out to go towards the designated spot to meet my friends. no one else has really stayed by the sound booth. i carefully make my way over there (the seats are mostly empty at this point) and ask the sound guy working if i can have his set list. he hands it to me with a smile :)

and on my way to my meeting spot we pass by the pit and manage to get one of the security people to grab me a handful of confetti and streamers and get it shoved into a ziplock bag before im out for the night.

so: shitty morning, incredible fucking night including confetti and being five feet away from pete wentz and the setlist (the code for 27 was tango sierra btw!) and finally getting my bracelets to the boys. i am so, so, so fucking happy and i feel like the luckiest person in the fucking world and like im currently living the life of a wattpad protag.

#fall out boy #AND ROYAL AND THE SERPENT DIDNT GET RAINED OUT #tourdust #the good moments :) #manifesting a second tour so i can do it all again

[kingdomsqueendomkimgme]

Long live the king

A/N : this will play in modern time since the MV concept isnt only him being a King but he can control time, that why i made them Vampires in this story, thats also why Iˋll let it be in the modern time.

I got the idea for the story line before falling asleep a few months ago soo yeah. I hope yall enjoy it.

Have a nice day, evening, night. <3) and this will be more then one part since I have too many ideas for the storyline

Word count: 2887

Kingdom masterlist

Pt.2

Y/N Pov.

Today was the day were our class will be on a school trip to a old castle.

Iˋm really interestet in it, since Iˋve been reaserching about it a lot and I want to see if i can find any clues that would show that the Myths are true or at least some of them. " hey Y/N?" I looked up to see brian " Hey Brian whats up?" "sooo I know that your interestet in this castle so i asked my dad to do some deeper reaserch and you wont believe what he found" I took my backpack of the seat next to me and he sat down. " What did he find?" he gave me a Letter, I first looked at him confused but he just smiled at me so i took it and opened up.

"He found out that the King looks exactly like todays owner. Which is very much impossiple because over a thausends of years there should have been at least a little change in his looks but it isnt .... there is no change he looks exactly like every portait of the last king and then i told my dad that you found out theres a myth that he was a Vampire and his friends too right?" I nodded " And my dad then called a friend that lives in the town where the castle is who has old letters of the royal family. and this one could be the proof that your right about it. We just need to find the room that is described in the letter."

We did read the letter and talked about the room and myths the rest of the bus ride.

When we arived we all got split up in teams of each 2 people and luckily me and brian got in one.

we were alowed to walk around alone aslong as we didnt destroy anything.

So me and brian are currently in the hallway where the room should be. Only problem we shouldnt be here because that is already the private area of the castle but we were to curious to care about that right now.

"There" brain whispered This is the door that is described in the letter "If theres the strais behind the door iˋll def. go down because i really wanna see if you are right about all the myths" I nodded and slowly opend the door and to our surprise there where stairs that went down "Oh my god..." we both breath out in relive but "Yes the teacher said that there are 2 students missing we need to find them" we looked at each other shooked and just went down the stairs carfully closing the door and silantly walking down the stairs "btw. brain im thankful that you came with me" He stopped shortly before we were complitly down the strairs "of course  your my bestie and ill always be by your side yk. You do it for me all the time so ill def do the same" I smiled and then we walked into another hallway "Ok now we just need to go to the end of the hallway" brain nodded. and we began to walk.

After a longer walk then espected we came finally to the door that we searched the whole time.

We both stopped and tried to calm down our excitement because if we didnt find what we hoped for we would be really disappointed.

"Do you want to open the door?" Brian asked, I looked at him "Yes but iˋm nervous" he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled "should we do it together then?" I nodded and whit that we both pushed the door open.

I stepped inside the room and "Whoa thats a really pretty room..." I whispered "Yes your right.... look theres the portait i told you about" I looked at the other side of the room where brian had pointed and i couldn´t believe my eyes... The Painting really looks exactly like the offspring of the now a days owner.

"Holy shit..." I breathed out. Brian looked aroundthe room and found a small cest, probably one of these where the Letters are stored in. "Maybe we'll finde something in here that proofs the Mythes." He said and handed me the small Chest.  Before i could open it we heared footsteps fastly walking towards the room "Oh shit we need to hide now" I whisper yelled, placed the chest back and pulled Brian to the second door.

As I opened it we saw that it lead into the garden where we were suppost to meetwith our teacher. We closed the door and ran to our class. We luckily haven't been caught and just went between the other students. A few minutes passed and the teacher saw us "Where have you two been?" she yelled "I'm very sorry miss Miller but both of them where here the whole time. We tried to tell you but we could find a way telling you without being unfriendly." Jesse said, while the guards also came hearing everything Jesse said. To say at least that they were pissed is an understandment.

"W-what ? but i havent seen them... OK Im very sorry for my overreacting" //Im soo lucky that we are a bigger class where every one has eachothers back damn that could have ended diffrently// I shot Jesse a thanking look which he just smiled at. The Teacher wanted to say something else when the Owner of the Castle arrived and look at all of us. His gaze lingered longer on me then I would have liked but he didn't  say anything. Brian and I looked at each other to see if we both saw the same thing. No one dared to talk.

"So I got notice of what happend and as I can see and judging from what I have heard there has never been a Problem?" It came out as a question which our Teacher just nodded at and lowerd her gaze to the floor.

"Ok since everything is right now, I can finally anaunce that I have descided that you all are Invided to our Ball Tomorrow night." There was shook written over all our faces, that was the last thing we expected after what had happened.

"So for those who dont want to go you are allowed to leave now, everyone else stays." Our nerdy students left and went to the bus that would bring them back to our hotel. The rest stayed. "Ok now that only the people are here that want to go on the Ball, you'll get your Invitation and a Letter where all Informations you need to know about the Ball and the other events tomorrow are written in" Each of us got 2 Letters one more Fancy looking then the other. I assume that the one with the gold on it is the Invitation and the other is with all Informations. "Good does everyone have the two Letters ?" we all nodded and with that he let us of the hook for today to explore the Town and get Outfits for Tomorrow night.

Small Timeskip In Town:

"How did we not get caught?" Brian asked while we walked trought the Suit shop. "Can you be a bit more quiet, i'd appriciate that.?" I looked at him and he just grinned "why you wanted to be caught?" He wiggled his eyebrows "What?" I looked at him with wide eyes "I mean he doesn't look bad and your single" "You really are stupid you know that?" He fake cried and held a hand on his heart "Dear you really hurted my feelings right now" we both brusted into laugher. We found a perfect suit for him and went to search for a dress for me. We already baught our masks and jewlery so we dont have to worry about that anymore.

shoes should be easy too after we found our Outfits.

We searched through the shop till Biran ran to me with something red in his Hands. "Here this would look soo good on you plus it is more flowy then tight" He grinned at me. I took the dress and went to try it on and I must say he really knows me plus he has amazing taste.

I took a second look in the mirror and steped outside . "What do you think?" "I knew you would look amazing, Please tell me you'll take this."

I looked at him and stayed silent for a few more seconds before i nodded.

He jumped up and hugged me "Good now come pay, I'm hungry" I chuckled at his antics.

After i payed we went first to the Hotel to bring everything back and then we went to search for a restaurant. We found one after good 20 minutes of searching and went inside to order foor.

We talked about all the myths and other things (We luckily found a table in a not so crowded area) When Brian suddenly stopped talking. "brian?" "shhh" He shushed me and pointed at something with his head. I turned around where I saw that the "King", Imma call him that now since idk his name, stood and talked to one of the employees, I turned back " we should go.... its good that we already paid" I whispered and packed my back. We both waited a bit so that the "king" and the guards where distracted and left the restaurant.

"Dude we litteraly just fleed from them" Brian laught, I smiled "No we just went out of the restairant because we finished eating" We walked back to the Hotel but then descided that we still have time to make a walk at the lake near the forest.

"Why do I feel like we're being watched?" I questioned. Brian looke at me "Phuu so I'm not the only one feeling that way"  We came to a stop "Boy thats creeping me out" We heard a stick cracking and turned around. There was a Boy or Man idk he looks like hes about 20 or something. witch Blond hair. We looked at him shooked. "Oh I'm really sorry for scaring you two, I got the Order to tell you that King Louis wants to see you both after you disappiered so quickly from the restaurant." We both swallowed "Did we do something?" I asked and the Blond looked at me with a confused look. "What ? No, he went to all the students that are invited to the ball and the other events." he laughed "So he tried to find you both but you always went away so fast" Me and Brian looked at each other "Ohh we didn't even notice that" I said quitely "Oh thats no problemhe just figured you two didn't noticed us" The Blond Smiled warmly. "Btw I'm Ivan, you don't need to be formal with me, but I recommand doing so with the others till they allow you to speak more infomaly with them, especialy with Louis, Arthur and Dann" we both nodded.

"Ok, then please follow me, I'll bring you to them." Ivan turned around but looked back at us over his shoulder "And one more thing if you two really where the students that went into the room, If you saw anything, don't let anyone know. I won't tell anyone if it really was you but be aware not to let anything slip, especially not to the others and Louis." We both looked at eachother with widen eyes "So it was you two" Ivan took notice of our reaction and turned back around "You don't need to worry, just don't let anyone know, I promise I keep your secret safe. I mean everything was in its place so we all assume you two got lost in the castle, since its really big. Am I right?" "Yes we wanted to search for the exit to meet our class but yeah we got very lost, my apologies." I bowed, embaressed and kept my look on the ground. Suddenly someone stood in Front of me  but it defenitly wasn't Ivan he had a different color on... "Louis..." It was Ivan who talked but more with horror in his voice then I wanted to hear.  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes still keeping my head to the ground. "Ivan you can take the boy with you to the others and wait there, I want to talk to her." I heard shuffeling and two peoples steps slowly disappering.

I felt a Hand under my chin making me look up and automaticly opening my eyes. //Damn he looks even better upclose..... shushhhh get out of my head...I cant think about him like this.// He steped a bit back but still had his hand on my chin. "so you two got really lost in the castle?" I nodded "Then your teacher was right. But its ok since you haven't stolen anything like some other students we had in the past, that also got 'Lost' how they said, you really seemed to be lost thought. But Why didn't you two say anything? Is it because of your teacher?" He had a questioning look in his eye and let go of my chin, so that i could talk. " yes it was because of the teacher she would have looked us in our hotel rooms or something like that, thats why our classmates had our back for us. Please don't tell her we got lost... I don't want to be locked in the same room for the next two months...." 

His eyes widen a bit "wait so your telling me she would just lock you in the hotel for the rest of the trip?" "Yes she did it already a few times to other students... and we're scared that of she finds out that she'll do the same with us too" I looked down again. //now that I think about it of they tell her we will really be locked away for the rest of the trip.....shit// " We won't tell her don't worry you pretty little head about it" this made me look up. //wait he'll not tell her but why?// my thoughts got interrupted when he added "but you have to promise me something or more said you need to do me a favor." I looked at him "and w-what would that be" He chuckled "you will be my companion for the ball and all other events" He looked at me waiting for a awnser and for me to think about it.

//I mean I have nothing to lose and it's not like there will be happening anything bad// I took a deep breath before I said "Ok, I'll do that" He looked first a bit shooked, apparently not awaiting that awnser but then smiled slightly "Good now come, we need to find the others so that we can tell you the extra information for the Ball" He held out his hand for me to take which I did because I'm not unfriendly. //damn he has cold hands.. and he seems to have a hard time to show emotion//

He suddenly stopped which made me run into his back. I mumbled a "sorry" and looked down embrace. "It's ok but you need to stay here till I come back, something isn't right..." I looked up at him he seemed mad. So I nodded and stayed behind the tree. I watched him disappear into the house where we were suppost to meet the others.

//what is going on??//

I sat down in the grass and waited.

//damn I wish I could know what's going on// I heard footsteps but I didn't dear making a sound, fear flooding my body within seconds, not knowing who it is. "Hey" someone whispered I jumped slightly and held my hand to my heart. I looked shooked at Ivan "Sorry, come Louis told me to get you to the Palace. He said I should watch both of you till he and the others have dealt with the intruder" "In-what?" I whisper yelled, he just nodded and helpt me up. We began to speed walk away from the house and in direction to the Palace when suddenly someone jumped in front of us. Ivan immediately hid me behind him. "Where is she?" The man in front of us asked "I know she was with you I saw it" "why do you want to know? Why is she so important?" Asked Ivan angered //wait are they talking about me? But that can't be..// "oh come on you know as well us I do about what powers she has. And she'd make a great secret weapon." "You won't get her" Louis voice came from beside us. I looked at him and also.saw the others there. I got pulled back "mmmh what did you say about we won't get her" a knive to my neck, the fear came back floating through my veins. I felt a strange sensation in my hands and suddenly all the enemies where blown away and nocked out.

//damn what was that, I'm so tired...// the last thing I saw was that all of the run up to me before my knees gave up and everything went black.

#kingdom arthur #kingdom chiwoo #kingdom dann #kingdom ivan #kingdom jahan #kingdom louis #kingdom mujin #kingdom x reader #kingdom reaction #kingdom hwon

[meowzfordayz]

Hey hey T! Congratulations on your ✨milestone 10.0✨ !! I remember *slow eater* hcs was ur first work i read and then bam bammm (im gyo anon also btw have i told u that surprise surprise 😂 gyo anon and 🧦 anon r oneee)

maam may i request romantic hcs with gyo 🤍 sfw, nsfw ANY im a sucker for tooth-rotting mushy mushy squishy fluff please maam thank u iluvü 💗

About me: ppl say i look mean but rlly it's just my face i'm sorryyyt ;-; but when they got to know me i am described as very funny (when i was in 11th grade the teacher asked who the class clown was and they said it be me ?? I'm pretty sure its that other guy but okayy 🤧) and fun to be around with/ knows how to lift ppl's mood up (this touched me i swearrr bc i didn't know i have that effect on ppl until it's palanca time and ye,, one of my insecurities is i'm not rlly good with words and so when i have to comfort someone i just sit with them while also looking for someone who can help better like gurl help me idk what to sayyydbrjdhh and so learning that i can brighten their day with just my presence or just casually saying smthng is just 🤯) ++ calm and collected bc usually i'd just laugh it off but rn idk anymore gurl i think these were just a fascade im a wreck inside haha sarcasm is how i cope 😭

i'm very straightforward esp to my friends bc i don't wanna give them false hope or anything tho i do the sandwich method to not make it seem too harsh 😭 i'm also the friend who (whichever group i'm in) people hold onto like link arms,, when walking, standing or just sitting they just grab both my arms (1 friend on the right another on the left) like they do to their moms or smthng (now i feel old jkjk is it bc im a little taller? 😭) and it gives the feeling that oh no smol children must protectt like i literally look like am chaperoning kids HAHA tho its cool bc i feel like my arms are the chosen ones ✨ i want to do that too yknow hold someone's arms for a change or like be held 🥺 ,, most of my friends are shorter than me (nothing against height !!) i just feel like its weird if *i* do it :"))) I also have this habit of whenever i'm seating next to someone i'd borrow there arm and just go squish squish

I'm an introvert. just the thought of preparing to go somewhere and actually taking the trip there is already draining the sh*t out of me. There are times when mid convo i'd just shutdown tho i still will try to keep a polite face even tho inside i just hURRY UP Iwanna go hOmE sorry dude but idk there are ppl whose energy are draining but there are those who compliments well wid u idk idk

i like letterssss vvvvmuch <3 i'm also sentimental like i keep eveeerything bus tickets, movie tickets, my first shot glass ugHH u could give me a leaf and just write to and from and id keep that foreeever. even that one time in 10th grade where we were practicing for an event in the grassy area and bc we were bored we made smol bouquets madE ouT Of GrAsS i still freaking have it and thaT One letter from a friend which came with a rock she painted with a face on so cuuuute ✨

i want to say my hobby is drawing but my degree requires me to draw too so like drawing *again* as a hobby now just pisses me off bc my brain says: instead of drawing that why don't u just do ur plates 🤡

I looove animalsss (cats cats we have 4 cats and 3 kittens) my fave wild ones are 🐳 & 🐘 idk it's just they're so big and mighty but they're very gentle and caring and helpful to other animals too •u• i wanna pet them and hug them they make me soft.

What i like about myself are my sense of humour (no i'd burst out laughing at 2am i was about to fall asleep and my brain be randomly making jokes 😤), my guts bc it's sharp afff, ability to recover fast (i'm not sure with this one bc i know im not addressing my issues properly but like hey i got alot of shit to do so chop chop 👏) , and my imagination bc my head is wilddd).

wow this got super long i'm sorry ;-; thank you maamm! And have an awesome and safe day at work today!! 🧦

MILESTONE 10.0

💞: Himejima Gyomei

holds your hand before crossing the street, because if anything tragic were to occur, then at least he will have been holding your hand. Similarly, he's mindful of his parting words to you: variations of I love you being his go to. About to hang up on him because you're angry? He always manages to squeeze in We'll figure this out. About to fall asleep because he's exhausted? He never forgets to mumble Sweet dreams. About to be on your way somewhere for some time? He sends you off with Have fun, stay safe.

sponsors a wild tiger with you (has the certificate framed and everything), and participates in annual fundraisers hosted by wild cat sanctuaries. Last Valentine's Day, he purchased and dedicated a heart (really just a chunk of meat) to you, which was then fed to your favorite leopard. "You're disturbingly sweet," you'd giggled, pecking his cheek as you rewatched the Instagram reel of your "heart" being devoured for the nth time, "Thank you so much!"

gifts you a journal for your third anniversary, but it's already mostly full — mostly full of things you've said that made him smile/giggle/laugh. Of course, it isn't a comprehensive, entirely accurate record, but it includes: inside jokes that you'd inevitably forgotten (until getting to read them again), witty retorts and quips that you'd figured he hadn't heard (turns out he had), and an obnoxiously long section reserved for your puns-that-are-arguably-too-much-of-a-stretch-to-truly-be-punny.

#milestone event #10.0

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

My cousin is supposed to be staying with us this weekend

She was supposed to be here earlier (she wouldve gotten here yesterday night if she hadn't stopped to get a hotel)

Shes being super dodgy about where she is and how long she's gonna be

She only gave us like 3 days notice that she was gonna be coming up here

Shes been texting my mom this whole time but now my parents have gone to bed cuz my dad is Routine Oriented™️ and Must be in bed by 9pm (preferably by 8 but he stretched it to almost 9 today just in case she showed up)

I am no longer in People Mode

So im just sitting here hoping she hasnt been like murdered or some shit but also hoping that if she's ok she goes to grandmas house to sleep on her couch instead cuz I dont wanna deal with getting her settled in this late

This is ME Time

I want to CHILL

I havent been able to chill all day

I couldnt fall asleep last night cuz of Anticipation but also my allergies were really bad so I couldn't breathe out of my nose so i didn't fall asleep til after 5am

I woke up at like 10am and had to clean the bathtub because we're having company (supposedly) and thats one of my TWO cleaning jobs (not counting keeping my room clean) and I was really proud of myself cuz I managed to get out of bed as soon as I woke up and got the tub cleaned

Then my dads cousin was over and chewby hates him so I was having to babysit a grumbly pitbull and try to keep her calm since my dad doesn't WARN me when Brad is gonna be here so I can't actually work with her on being chill around him

Then when me and my mom got back from the store dipshit was over here hanging out with my dad even tho my dad helped his wife leave him????? Like bro why do you think we want you here???

Then I took althea to get food for the week and lawrence is fucking stupid when it comes to planning roadwork. 6th street is a fucking mess. Getting to just food was fine cuz 7th street is alright until Kentucky street. But on the way back I took 9th street like I did last week to get back to Michigan street but Michigan street was CLOSED between 9th and 7th so then I had to turn around and go back to Maine street to get back to 7th street to get back to Michigan street. And there was so much fucking traffic cuz its the middle of the semester and yeah its spring break but its also the Friday at the end of spring break so people are starting to come back so there's like twice as many people as there would be if it was summer break.

Then I got home and dipshit was still here AND STAYED HERE FOR HOURS til my dad and Mike bribed the neighbors kid with weed (shes 18 and we're friends with her mom) to take him and his dog to a hotel cuz his (hopefully soon to be ex) wife is selling the house and kicked his ass out so he's effectively homeless now (he fucked around and found out. He's got a bus to somewhere next Wednesday. Hopefully not to where his wife is. Bobbi says she is living her best life now that she's back home with her parents and all her friends)

Like I have had a fucking day dealing with people and I do not have the patience to deal with getting my cousin settled at almost midnight. I am fried. I want to sit in my dark room with a bowl of yogurt with chocolate granola and raspberries and snuggle with my cat and watch horror game playthroughs on youtube until im ready to go to bed

[milkxxx23]

how is it like to have adhd and autism at the same time

okay so its 6am and im sleep deprived getting ready for school but i suddenly remember an useless fun fact and decide to look it up while walking downstairs to catch the bus,then im in the bus listening to music full volume in my headphones bc socializing is hard af. then i zone out in mostly all of the classes and not participating and also drawing and scribling and taking messy notes, then im in that one class im surprisingly good at and get bonus points, then go to the break, talk to a few friends get back to class and im done. school is over lets get back home so i get in the bus headphones blasting music full volume and i zone out until i get home. im home now so i eat lunch and go to my bedroom and chill for a bit. then im doing my homework at 3pm like normally and all of a sudden my brain decides to randomly play petit poney and mio mao lalala mashup with a death metal sog on the background while im just trying to shut the nonsense up, fail, give up, eat icecream, stare into the ceiling and oh surprise its 7pm and i forgot to do the homework due tomorrow. so i start hyperfixating on doing the homework right after i remembered while checking for grammar mistakes while checking for misinformation all at the same time by ignoring that i havent had dinner yet and i gotta go to the bathroom. i finally finish the homework and go to the bathroom and eat dinner at 9pm, fall asleep at 3am due to fake scenarios and it starts over again

thanks for reading this stupid redaction have a nice day

#audhd is hard

[berryunho]

omg i know how u feel i don't think i'll be graduating in 4 bc i have to do co-op terms so it delays my grad by a year or smth?? we'll see how things go

wow that's so cool!! the dedication is immaculate i would always give up after a month or so. do you know any other languages aside from eng and korean?

ooo i'm kinda the opposite like nothing really interests me outside of courses in my major or other science courses. i've gotta do some arts credits and scrolling thru them is like... okay this sounds interesting then i read the syllabus and its like readings and essays and discussion groups then im like NOPE LOL BYE

that's so funny cause i saw someone sleeping in a corner of the stairs. ppl will sleep anywhere and i don't blame them. could you imagine falling asleep near the river ugh bless

omg yes like with chem i always end up working backwards from the answer (wink wonk) to see what i did wrong and usually it's a lot 😭

it wasn't too bad! it was kinda cold but not windy so i was okay. i still brought a jacket with me cause it was windy af during the day and i thought it'd be the same at night but nope there goes my money for coat check 😭

ohh!! that sounds fun, did you manage to find anything? red hair is so nice. everyone i've seen so far with red hair pulls it off so well and i'm lowkey convinced it's a colour that works on everyone....

thank you!! i did have lots of fun : D i might've died on the bus ride back... but we don't talk abt it..........

-mightychondria

yeahhh i have to get a masters degree for the profession im aiming for so... if everything goes to plan that's six years of university and i do NOT want it to be more 😭😭 hopefully your graduation doesn't get delayed too much ??

:LKFJDKFSJD:LFKJ oh boy languages and me... lowkey obsessed w learning them SO one set of my grandparents were german and didnt speak english so i know very basic german (my dad didnt think it was important to teach me. crying screaming throwing up.) and i got to be pretty okay at finnish at one point but i've forgotten ALL of it lol and i took 2 years of latin in highschool which was very fun but again i forgot most of it KLFJSFDLJK AND FINALLY i took a couple years of american sign language in middle school but i literally remember the alphabet and basic kindness' :'] ive also attempted swedish, norwegian, spanish, and french with ... immediate failure ! hehe

i get what you mean 😭for me its not that i dislike my stem courses but i actually love reading and writing essays and stuff and i just wish i could do more of that 😭 but the majority of my stem friends definitely would agree w you LOL

ugh for real it would be so nice to sleep outside in the sun i feel like ... living out that cat/dog life ... but id be too scared of being kidnapped LKJJFSKFJKS

that is definitely the way to do chem 😭 just gotta learn from your mistakes until there are none ! i had an exam last friday and ... i should be getting that grade tonight or tomorrow so im very anxiously waiting to see how i did ...

nooooo not the coat check money... i cannot even imagine how much clubs make in the winter just from coat check like 😭 some nights at one of my local clubs its literally more expensive to check your coat than to get in 😭

sadly i still havent figured out who/what to be... i think im gonna wait to dye my hair though so that it lasts longer ... so i really dk LOL im lazy tbh so i normally go for something i can just wear my normal clothes for... and since i just finished breaking bad im thinking maybe jane ??? i dress like her irl (though less 2008) and id just need a wig LKJFS:LDJKF BUT IDK !!! do you have any costumes in mind? or any plans?

hehe im glad you had fun but ... 👀 ... how ominous ... hehe i hope your week starts off nicely !! :]

#mightychondria anon #answered

[monpetitange]

This is a long post! I just had to write out this dream ive had before and i just had the same dream two nights in a row and i wanted to write it down before i forgot about it, because i think its beautiful

It start with that me and my bf had a wonderful romantic night. A month later i get to know im pregnant and im head over heels happy. But i didnt tell my bf right away as i waited a week or two. But once i took up the topic of our future with marriage and children he exploded on me and told me "i never want that, why cant you be normal and just enjoy this life we had" it broke me and then he dumped me. I moved out and moved  to the capital into a small apartment. I called my parents and told them everything. The next weekend they all arrived both my parents and my sibling came and helped me. They helped me move in and then we had a small celebration of my pregnancy. My pregnancy flew by and I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl. My mom was with me the first 6 months with me and her granddaugther and ofc my siblings and dad came and visit me when they had free time from their work. Then fast forward 3years. My daughter is 3 years old and we live a great life. We have movie nights every day, we paint and do craft work. And everyday we cook together and every weekend we bake. I also started to stream my art and one late weekend night i was live. I had a blast on the stream with lots of laugh. Then i heard the door open and in walked my daughter crying, i dropped everything and ran over to her and asked her whats wrong and she told me something that broke my heart "why doesnt my dad love me?" i huged her tight and my eyes stung from the tears. I didnt know what to say but then i finally said "your dad loves you so incredible much, but mom and dad had two different dreams so we had to walk our seperate ways". I sat down with her in my lap as i put in her favorite song. The stream was still going and a mutual friend of me and my ex was watching. He knew i had a kid because he had seen the photo of me welcoming her to our family. But he hadnt seen her since then and he was shocked how much she looked like my ex. He then texted my ex asking him of he knew i had a kid. He said he didnt know and was shocked. He tried to find me on social media but i had blocked him on every platform but i hadnt blocked his siblings so the next day he asked one of his siblings if he could come and then borrow their phone to get access to my social media. He searched me up on Facebook and saw a newly taken photo of me and our daughter smiling in the early autumn leaves. He just looked at the photo and before he knew it tears had started to fall. He regretted everything and a aching pain started to form in his chest. Now he was determined he needed to find me talk to me. He saw the location i had tagged in the photo and booked tickets to the capital. He and a friend was going to the capital to find me and our daughter. A week later me and my daughter were out and shopping and enjoying the beautiful autumn day. We walked down the busy street lots of people where out but then i stopped because a few meter ahead of us stood my ex, my eyes were wide and I could feel butterflies in my belly but they fast turned to anxiety. I picked up my daughter and started to walk but in the process i lost my beret and my orange hair was showing which made it hard to miss. I could suddenly hear his voice scream my name. My heart were besting so fast i heard it in my ears and I couldnt figure it out if it was anxiety or butterflies in my stomach. But i suddenly started to run to the bus stop and right before the bus  closed its doors i jumped on but as i turned my head to look back at the doors i saw him, our eye locked and I saw once again does magical beautiful. My eyes were filled with tears and my heart ache because i never stopped loving him. The bus ride home was quiet my daughter had fallen asleep and I sat in deep thoughts until we arrived home. On the other end my ex and our friend waited for the next bus they had seen the number on the bus but had no idea what stop to jump of. But that didnt stop them from following us. First they jumped of to early and got lost, then they got onto to the next bus and this time they got the right place but they got another problem which building did i live in. But they started from the first building and after 30minutes they found my building. I had long forgotten it and me and my daughter were cooking dinner and had just put in a pie when we heard the door Bell ring. Without thinking i opened the door and froze, there he stood the man that i never stopped loving. Before i could open my mouth he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I wanted to tell at him but i melted in his arms. After the kiss we stood there awkwardly, it was so awkward. And then i heard her small little footsteps and before i knew it she stood next to us looking up at us and then she asked "mommy who is this?" i didnt know what to say but then my ex got on his knees and looked at his daughter and said " hi my name is * * * * * * and im your father and this is your uncle" our daughter eyes glow up with happiness and swung her tiny arms around her father, he hugged her back. Then our daughter looked at me and asked if we could invite them to dinner. I hesitate first but gave in as i couldnt say no to her. It felt strange and yet so normal as we all sat down and had dinner. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, me and my ex had started to date again, he hd moved to the capital and saw our daughter almost everyday, every weekend we all had dinner and went out together. Then at new year he asked me to be his girlfriend and after that our relationship went fast we got engaged a couple of months into the new year and in the early september we got married. This dream is so precious to me and yet very painful ❤️

#nessas dreams #my dream #a beautiful and yet painful lovestory

[ssom-ssom]

My best friend left for college today.I made her a little something with a couple photocards of us,an old newspaper and flowers and butterflies cut out of a purple plastic sheet.I couldnt do what was important-pour out my heart into it because i had limited time to make it.I ckuld only write how she will forever be the only one for me and that I love her.I regret not making it earlier.I had so much i wanted to say to her in writing.Now i wont be able to see her and give her another something until i see her again.Maybe in a month? I hope so.I already had a shitty day and my heart had been feeling REALLY heavy since i returned from my coaching.I wanted to cry but i couldn't.idk why.maybe because i cried buckets a few days before.i just felt sad and empty.i had this weird feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat.

Her bus was scheduled to leave at 8 so she left the house by 7.She came to visit me at 5.I shouldve done something,something memorable,maybe dance together? like we always do? or sing a song? no we just cuddled and slept for like 20 mins that felt like a night.i sobbed quietly.i didnt want her to see me cry right before leaving.her mum called and she had to go get ready.i told her ill see her at 7.after she left,i got into making that card for her.I shouldve bought her something too.a ring? she likes jwellery but has tons of rings.ill get her one once shes back to visit again.she texted me her cab was out and she was abt to leave.i rushed outside with the little something which was unfinished but gave it to her anyway.she cried.i couldnt.we bid our farewells.then i locked myself in the toilet and cried like crazy.fuck my eyes hurt.she is someone i saw everyday.every single day.we would dance,flirt,watch nasty stuff together,wear each others clothes,make weird crunge tiktoks but never post them,bitch about literally everyone,cry,laugh,bunk classes just to sit in rdso and stare at boys(her,id just comment lol)prank people who passed by and so much that i cant fit.all im scared of is us drifting apart that just,happens.it has happened w me,w people i never wanted to lose and now i act so formal and not-myself around them because ive lost that sense of feeing safe around them.i could NEVER fall asleep in their places,always worrying about how rude and weird it would be.sleep comes easily in her room when we're cudding and so many times ive slept through so many hours.idk how my routine will be now without her but all i know is,i will trade this for anything in this world.

im so not gonna read this post.

#bye bye #i miss her </3

[divinedeities44]

Dream girl

Im going to have to put a trigger warning on this post. And let me add that God made it clear to me to use names in these stories because I am guided, I have nothing to lose, I have nothing to fear outside of myself and because I was told to make this blog to be raw and real. I also think its important for us to be honest about our experiences with others so we can learn, grow and heal from them. I am in no way trying to throw anyone under the bus, and a person who may have been toxic for me can be a blessing for another. And my shadow self would like to add the fact that I also don’t give a fuck. Shall we? 

The first 2 years of highshool were super normal. I had friends. No one bullied me. Thanks to Con high being very diverse. I feel like no one was really judged there because we had the full spectrum of people. They really knew what they were doing when they picked us. I had a friend named Imani. Due to my childhood, I had the super need to fit in and because I was still a kid, of course I didnt know boundaries or red flags. During the first 2 years, our friendship was pretty fun. But even in this moment, Im realizing we had absolutely nothing in common. I wasnt really into dating, plus I was into girls at the time, and she was the fast girl. You know the 15 year old who dated men in their 40s? I think we all knew this type of girl. Im not going to get too much into our friendship it was very basic and surface, we got high together, had sleepovers.. normal teenage girl shit. To this day I call Imani my dream girl because shes always been in my dreams A LOT! Especially in the last 2 years. As I developed my relationship with the higher realms, I asked why I she always in my dreams? She represents my inner child because a big part of kid me was morphed in experiencing her. 

I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was memorial day weekend soph hop. In the middle of the celebration, I broke out in hives and an ambulance had to be called to take me to the hospital. The doctors told me I was allergic to something I ate, but I have never had that kind of reaction to food or anything else even to this day. Imanis uncle, Bear, catered  the event. He is someone I was familiar with because Imani and I had been friends for 2 years. I was only in the hospital for a few hours before I was allowed to go home. It being memorial day weekend, we had planned to party. So I woke up, called her, and told her I was on my way to her. Whats an allergic reaction to a party when your fucking 15? lol I told my dad I would be staying at her house during the course of the weekend. My dad was thinking I would be under supervision of her mother, but I was really under supervision of myself. We were drinking and partying with her 30 year old sister, her 30 something year old uncle, and her 40 year old boyfriend. You see where this is going? Im not going to beat around any bushes here. We got super drunk and by the end of the night I ended up passed out on the floor. This grown man was penetrating me, and I woke up in the middle of it. I I look over, and I can clearly see everybody there watching. When they saw I was waking up, Imani and her boyfriend had me face down, each of them holding  one of my ankles, pulling me up the steps. I fell asleep there and when I woke up, I didnt know if I had dreamt it all or what. But my body told me it was real. The following Tuesday, when we were back at school, this girl acted like I made the whole thing up! That was the end of our friendship. And because we had the same friends, those friends stopped being friends with me. So I was alone trying to put the pieces together. The same guy catered our 11th grade dance and senior prom, and that is the reason I stopped attending school events.

When we came back to school in the fall, I was a loner. And I was proud of it too. I started smoking cigarettes and drinking more often. This is where my unhealthy relationship with substances and my hypersexuality started. Its like I started chasing feeling good to get the parts of me back that I had lost that night and after.I barely came to school and when I did, I did nothing. I had no enthusiasm for school any more. Except English because I loved writing and the poetry team. Writing has always been my preferred method to everything. Senior year I wanted to drop out because I was 18, and didnt need my parents approval. But me and our dean have a really great relationship, so she didnt let me. Instead of going to graduation, I went to the school to pick up my diploma and went home. When I turned maybe 20, Bear the caterer, wrote me on facebook apologizing for what happened that night. I went years thinking I had just imagined it all. But I had finally gotten my AHA moment, although by then, it wasnt worth much.

Ive said this on earlier post, but Im not posting this for an emotional response. Im posting the stories of my trauma, so that you can fully grasp the light that is going to come in once I get you all up to current times. The traumatic moments in our lives play HUGE parts in our self exploration. Trauma is what changes you, trauma is what determines how you proceed. We dont know this early in our lives, so we jump from traumatic experience to traumatic experience until we catch on. Some people never realize that this is how it works. We are here to examine the deep dark parts of ourselves, so our lives can become more fulfilling. We are literally born to experience hard things, so we can become the best version of ourselves. Is it worth it? Stay tuned to find out!

[hoshiwhxre]

i am absl fucking knackered

#im turning into a right oap #i go out with friends for one day and im falling asleep on the bus lets not