#i get to work with the k-5 kids i am so stoked its gonna be loud and very hot outside but fun and enriching

[boxwinebaddie]

Miss Ninaa!! When are you free for the summer???

hello, sweetling! and good morning, good afternoon or good night wherever it is that you are. <3 regardless of the time of day, please just know that the world around you is brighter bc you're in it. c':

so i just want to start out by saying that i know i say this a lot...but i cannot tell you what it means to me that you guys care enough about me to be curious about the trajectory of my offline life.

...like, i really just have the sweetest anons in the world, huh? ;-;

i feel unbelievably blessed and count my lucky stars everyday because of each and everyone of you. thank you for being your lovely, lovely selves and caring not only about me as a person but my silly and strange au styles from hell.

speaking of, i am aware that it does not seem like it because of how sporadically i post ncu related content ( if at all ) but i am trying to work on some stuff...as you know well by now, i like to really take my time putting out my work because the quality of the content that you read is paramount to me. you are all far too near and dear to my heart to receive lame, rushed, unclear boof ass content from me.

like...i simply will not do it. thank you for your paitence.

( i will say that i am specifically working on an ask about the greenhouse kiss which AAAAAA giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet, like it is SOOOOO satisfying, holy shit! it's also very, very important to the plot which is why i have been taking my time on it. i do hope to put it out today but i am trying not to make promises that i can't keep, get your hopes and dreams up just to dash them and most unfortunately, i do not have a great track record in that regard. i know it's kind of a bummer...but i like to be honest w/ y'all. )

ANYWAYS!

without further ado, here's a little glimpse into my life. xx

again, thank you for asking...that is very cute of you. c': <333

( this is lengthy and lowkey irrelevant. you can absolutely skip this but i think that i am pretty informative in here, so it might be useful? idk. )

so actually, my summer is pretty busy and jam-packed for the most part! or, the first two months are, at least. because i decided to take on summer camp here at the school i work on! camp counsellor nina!

i decided to nab a summer camp supervising position for a couple of reasons. like, obviously, teaching does not pay that much, so really, i need to make all the money i can while i can. don't worry about me tho, guys. bc actually am doing extremely well for myself. <333

( i am a very lucky person, haha -- god nerfed me by being mentally ill, but did make me pretty and personable...which gets me far in life. on the topic of mental illness [ of which i am very ] today i should fare quite well bc other than having a mild headache and being lowkey naseous because my mood stabilizer has that side effect for me...it is worth it when i rem(ember) to take it because it makes me very calm and level, so i am better at responding to my asks/doing my tasks. )

another reason is it keeps me busy...when i am not constantly busy, i get very depressed and fall into gnarly sprials. my job has a lot of downtime and when i am not running around like crazy because a bunch of teachers are out, i'm bored as fuck and i get lazy or restless.

very lame...this summer, i will be looking for a different job ( fml, if you are my boss, don't read this ) and i am a bad procrastinator so i missed the deadline for a fuck ton of teaching positions, but hopefully i can find something in the realm of associate or assistant teaching because....lmao, point and laugh but i am still a little too nervous to teach a whole class by myself. if kids get disadvantaged academically because i am too incompetent at teaching, i will die.

but yeah...if i am still babysitting fourteen year olds after this ( they did grow on me, but it's really not my speed ) please also point and laugh because i would rather go back to retail...yes, i am desperate.

on the subject of teaching kids that are in my wheelhouse and doing stuff my speed, summer camp is actually all k-5 so i will FINALLY being doing a majority of my teaching in the age group that i have my literal credential in. YAY! it's going to be hot as shit where i am over the summer, probably also tiring as shit ( have you seen how little kids act in the summer? ) but i am so fkn exCITED to work with the littles HEEEEELLL YES, BROTHER! uncle nina will be Vibing! <333

so for the first four weeks i am doing general camp stuff, getting a feel for stuff and wokring with all the grade levels...but the LAST two weeks, i get to specifically associate teach in the kindergarten classroom and AAAAAAAA!!!!! I FKN LOVE THE KINDERS!!!!! i visit them every other day because, again, i am bored as shit and they need help over there so i usually hang out with them in PE and play hula hoop tag with them...rn they are learning how to jump rope. soooo stinking cute, oh my god.

-- BUT YES I AM SOOOOO FREAKING STOKED YOU GUYS LIKE I WAS MADE FOR THIS BROTHER. i am gonna wear so many crazy outfits and do such weird makeup pray it doesn't melt off my face.

also, during camp, they go on little field trips and things, hopefully swimming, ( uncle nina is mermaid nina ) and feed you the same stuff as the campers so i get to eat like a nasty frat boy and have pizza and pasta and stuff, which, let me tell you, i am genuinely stoked because they cater a free lunch for the faculty here everyday and it's supposed to be all fancy and shit...but there is a reason it's free because it is SOOOO mid. like it really is kind of ass. i don't know how they do that.

but, sigh, camp is only six weeks so i have to fill my time with other stuff ( also i guess that means in six weeks from when school is done on june...14th, i think? i am free? ) i hope to use that time to structure the fuck out of my life, planf or the future because i am hella bad at it and i hope to do a lot of writing! kind of a pipe dream at this point becaue all my stuff has been *british tolkien vc* actual shite and i can't finish anything...but maybe when i feel better, writing will come easier? when i am less busy and stressed? i hope so. and i hope you guys are still around if i am here but i Completely understand if you are not! it's been a long, bumpy ride. you did your dues and you are free to step off at any time. again, i do not blame you. i am annoying.

BUT YEAH! that's my summer for you! summer camp, hanging out with my cat ( her name is lily, she is very beautiful, very kind, very fluffy and dumb as rocks but she is my babygirl ), getting lots of sushi, going to the thrift store, doing self care stuff, doing less self harm in various odd forms specifically in the form of self sabotage, getting my life together and organized, finding a new job, bettering myself and the world, being kind, entertaining all of you and hopefully writing again! yay! i'll update you as much as i can.

and please, please, pleeeease update me on your lives! i know i don't always respond, but i read everything. my friend who won FIRST PLACE for her raven sculpture, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY. my friends who unfortunately went through breakups, i am so sorry, please know it is their loss, you are stronger for it and i hope you heal, but if ravesey can...you can baby. also proud of my various friends going to college and my friends that are not! my friends toiling through their lame jobs and my friends who are dipping their toes in the world of creativity through writing, drawing expressing yourself! i love, love, LOVE you! thank you for sharing your lives with me.

( speaking of friends, i am specifically hoping to spend my summer bonding with my rant girlies and we made a little group chat and we are being so funny and chaotic and unhinged. i love them all so bad. )

BUT YEAH! thank you for asking my love! look out for some important in character asks, hopefully some finished or more distinguished writing and know that if i am not responding or posting, it is not because i lost interest...as you can see, i am very busy, especially as the school year approaches an end, my summer is a little busy, i fall into ugly manic/depressive cycles and am working on taking care of myself...offline. thank you for understanding.

and thank you for being here! you are troopers, forreal! you are angels and saints for putting up for me and enduring me never posting or posting really chaotic weird stuff. i love you. thanks for caring. <3

i love you and i hope you heal,

uncle nina, future ceo of glamour girl summer camp <3

P.S. i am specifically working on developing and post more about my other aus because i want to give you some variety and challenge myself to do stuff out of my comfort zone! so if you are excited at all about the tsot/tfbw nina stuff, please make some NOOOOISE! lol and if you are not i totally get it, but if you could give me gentility and grace, i would appreciate it because i'm insecure abt it. MWAH!

#hi baby! #thank you SO much for asking you are so stinking cute for this like omg i am blushing thank you so much #i am working on answering some asks but its slow goings but i am emotionally stable nina today so hell yeah brother #i love the greenhouse kiss ask but it requires a lot of context moving parts and me explaining stuff thoroughly #thank you for being paitent i hope its worth it #i also don't know how much people care about my dead ass fanfic or any of my stuff but thanks for fighting the good fight #anyways! camp counsellor nina! #i get to work with the k-5 kids i am so stoked its gonna be loud and very hot outside but fun and enriching #very stoked to do something entertaining #when i tell you i am BORED it fucking sucks like this job is so ass and rn my school is kinda going through messy drama #so it's not pleasant to be here i am not having fun #BUT I WILL! and i have a lot of fun answering my asks hell ya #wokring on getting another job holy shit please pray for me #but yah! trying to be a better me and come back into myself and write more comfortably you guys are helping me #thank you for respecting my time and need for space #i am pretty introverted inspite of my little god complex big scary writer routine and i get overwhelmed by attention #i never quite know what to say but i'm trying #write to me anytime i love you #also i had a friend send me an ask and ask me if their question is odd -- it's not sweetheart i just don't have an answer yet #i haven't shdslkhdld thought about it hard enough but i will get back to you haha y'all are unhinged and kind and so cute #ily ily ILY

[admittedlynotspartacus]

“Game of Thrones” Season VI: Episode 3 - Slay Queen

WARNING: SPOILERS for the latest episode below, so if you haven’t seen it and don’t know yet who dies, who fucks who, and how many costume changes Varys has, turn back now.

We begin July with a stop at my corner fire hydrant...

DRAGONSTONE

Remember back in Season 2 when everyone was like, “Wait a minute, how did Littlefinger get from King’s Landing to Renly’s camp to Highgarden in like an episode?” Well, everybody seems to have taken a hit of Littlefinger’s magic fairy dust because now they’re all fucking warping all over the goddamn place. Starting with J-Snow, who’s like -

and washes up on the shores of Dragonstone right from the get-go. And P-Dinky’s there like -

And J-Snow’s all -

While Michelle is just like -

Anyway, she makes the Dothraki strip-search J-Snow and co. and then she’s like -

But she keeps getting interrupted by Davos, who’s like, “Where ya from, girl? I couldn’t place your ACCENT.” Even though literally everyone on this show is like -

P-Dinky and J-Snow are catching up, giving recaps of their seasons since the show overtook the books and P-Dinky is like, “To be honest, I was drunk for most of it.” And D&D are like -

CUE THE DRAGONS, because remember? She has dragons. And they’re all like ROAAAAAR FLYING OVER HEAD and J-Snow is all, “NAZGUUUUUUULLL!!” But Michelle and P-Dinky are just like -

Cut to Melisandre creeping from above. Ya know, as she does. When she’s joined by Varys who’s using his newly-found confidence from his off-season Jenny Craig diet to rock this tight-fitting number that’s equal parts SS officer and... you guessed it...

They’re basically like, “You’re up to shit,” “No, YOU’RE up to shit” when Melisandre is like, “I think I’m gonna peace. See the world and all that. Oh and by the way, you’re totally gonna die.”

So we come to the moment we’ve all been waiting all our lives for - when D-Baby meets J-Snow. And it’s, like, fine. Michelle is like, “Paramount Pictures presents: Studio Canal’s presentation of a Fox Searchlight production, a film by Martin Scorsese, James Cameron’s Daenerys Targaryen.” And Jon is like -

Basically D-Baby’s like -

But he’s like -

It doesn’t go well. But at some point, Varys does run in like -

Later on, J-Snow is staring off a cliff like a Britney Spears music video when P-Dinky saunters over and is like, “I came here to brood. But I don’t brood as well as you.”

Basically, he wants to help. But J-Snow is being all -

And D-Baby literally can’t remember any of her lines except for -

so P-Dinky has to totally Dick Cheney the both of them into playing nice. After which D-Baby even seems like she’s kinda -

Again, she’s his aunt. Never forget.

KING’S LANDING

Uncle Freddie Mercury is PARADING through the streets like -

and everyone is so totally stoked to see him like, “Hosanna, heysanna, sanna sanna ho sanna hey sanna ho and -”

Because the surviving Sand Snakes are being dragged around and the crowd is basically the Internet. Like, at some point there’s literally a man yelling “YOU’RE THE WORST! THE WORST!” 

Anyway, he plops them down to Cersei, who’s instantly like -

Like, so much so that Uncle Freddie is already asking sex tips from Jaime (I believe he mentions butt play). Jaime, of course, is all -

Cut to Cersei wearing the loudest lipstick you’ve ever seen.

She’s rehearsing her Emmy submission monologue for Mama and The One Who Showed Her Boobs. And we’re all like, “Aight Cersei, enough talk, we all know you’re just gonna have Frankenmountain smash their heads in and rape them, right?”

But then Cersei’s just like so fucking turned on that she goes to The One Who Showed Her Boobs and is like -

And we’re all like -

But then we get it, ‘cause it’s poison. Except guess what? D&D don’t let us see The One Who Showed Her Boobs or Mama die. 

Oh, no. They’re going to keep Mama alive. So that at any moment... if we give them too much shit... they can bring... her... BACK.

At this point Cersei is wetter than a whore sweatin’ in church, so she goes to Jaime and she’s like -

And let’s just say it might look like Jaime’s the one who likes the finger up the bum, knowhamsayin? 

Anyway, they wake up the next morning (or something, time doesn’t matter anymore on this show), and Jaime’s like, “No one can see us.” But Cersei’s just like -

WINTERFELL

Meanwhile, Sansa is running around like -

and Littlefinger’s wandering around like the kid who can’t find a table to sit at in the cafeteria, being like -

And then he starts giving her like the most anti-Buddhist message of all time, like “Be stressed always.” At one point he literally says, “Everything that happens will be something you’ve seen before.” And I’m like...

But there’s no time for nostalgia, because somebody is at the gate! And we’re all like - OHMIGOD IT’S DEF ARYA, HERE WE GO! ...

It’s Bran.

Still, Sansa is like -

But Bran is just like -

Like seriously, Sansa is just trying to be all, “Sooo... how are thiiiings?” And Bran’s just like, “You had a really nice dress on the night you were raped.”

So of course, she’s like -

And he’s like, “K. I’m gonna stay by this tree, I guess.”

OLDTOWN

National Treasure Jim Motherfucking Broadbent is inspecting Daddy Mormont, who’s just like -

NTJMFB lets Daddy go, and Daddy EVEN GETS A NEW SHIRT. Seriously, he’s been wearing that yellow one since Season 1. But Sam is NOT out of the clear, because NTJMFB pulls him aside like -

And even though we’re still kinda like, “Wait. All Sam did was read the instructions and follow them and in all the history of Westeros no one at this super smart maester academy has EVER thought to do that?!?” Even though we’re still kinda like that, we really think NTJMFB is gonna expel Sam. When suddenly he’s like -

So then we think he’s gonna turn around and suddenly be like -

But instead he’s just like, “I need a shit-ton of copies.”

CASTERLY ROCK

P-Dinky’s monologue-ing as the Unsullied march on the Rock and he keeps talking about how it’s “impregnable,” but that somebody once told him when something’s “impregnable,” “impregnate the bitch.” And I’m like, “Whoever told you that (probably D&D) needs to wash their mouth out NOW, OKAY?!?”

Anyway, Barack’s there like -

And I’m like, “This is the end, my only friend - the end.” But lo, Barack sneaks in through P-Dinky’s whore tunnels and surprises everyone. And P-Dinky’s making us think they’re outnumbered, but Grey Worm is just like -

and lemme tell ya, he’s making. It. Work. He’s just like BAM KILLING BAM BAM but then he’s like, “Wait we killed everyone.”

HIGHGARDEN

All it takes is for me to see Jaime and the massive Lannister army marching while D-Rigg watches from her tower to be like -

Jaime takes the castle. Like really easily. Like too easily.

But whatever. Because all that matters now is D-Rigg. And lemme tell ya, she’s not leaving without one last bid for that Emmy.

First she’s ripping on him, him saying there’s always lessons in failures, and her being like, “Then you must be very wise.”

And then she’s like, “Hmm that’s a nice fucking sword you got there. Whose was that, your CUNT SON?!?”

And then she gets fucking real. She’s like, “Y’know Cersei?”

“And not only that... but she’ll be the end of you...”

So then, Jaime’s had enough, he’s like, “Drink your poison and be done.” And D-Rigg being D-Rigg, she doesn’t miss a beat, she’s just like -

And then. With one foot out of this life and one in the next, she’s like, “Oh yeah... I almost forgot to mention... 

I killed your son.”

“And I want Cersei to know.”

BODY COUNT: 2, plus loads of Lannisters, Unsullied, and Highgarden troops (RIP The One Who Showed Her Boobs and... of course... D-Rigg) BOOB COUNT: 1 pair EPISODE GRADE: B+

SER POUNCE’S STRAY THOUGHTS

Friendly reminder there are only TEN episodes left of Game of Thrones.

Melisandre says, “I’ve done what I set out to do. I’ve brought ice and fire together.” But she’s never really spoken of the war in the North in those terms before, has she?

Do we think she’ll be back this season? I would say she’s gonna need some time to go to Volantis and back, but she can probably get there in 5 minutes with these new warp capabilities.

And while we’re on the subject, the show’s depiction of time has ventured beyond forgivable into problematic. At a certain point around Season 5 it became clear that each story thread was operating under its own time rules; we’d jump forward to not see Jon travel from Hardhome and back, but the other storylines weren’t necessarily running exactly concurrent to his. However, now this is becoming a problem because everything is converging again. So if Jon can make it to Dragonstone in an episode, and if Jaime and Cersei hear the news of the Freys’ death in Episode 1 mere minutes after we’ve seen Arya kill them all, then it doesn’t really make sense that it would take Arya 4 episodes to find out that the Starks have Winterfell again. It’s refreshing to see the show moving quicker, but it also means that D&D can bend time to suit the needs of their plot, which is frustrating given the realism George brought to this world. On rewatch, this is going to be a very top-heavy series. The War of the Five Kings lasted three seasons, but Daenerys has gained and lost a whole host of allies in 3 episodes.

I don’t know why I actually expected Daenerys meeting Jon Snow to be this electric moment when Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington have been the least-nuanced performers of the cast for a long time (I think you could make the case they’re two of the least-nuanced leading actors on a highly-regarded prestige drama in history). Still, it was nice to see director Mark Mylod delay having the both of them in the same shot until the end of her speechifying.

Re: “I am the last Targaren, Jon Snow,” so those who have read the books know that there is this other Aegon Targaryen character who’s either legit or a fraud. Is J-Snow the real Aegon? I guess this matters more in the book, he would delegitimize the fake one, but he must have a Targaryen name right? He’s surely not Jon Targaryen.

D&D love their torture scenes, but the one with Cersei and Ellaria was interesting simply because the victims were just as ruthless as the torturer. I even found a small amount of empathy for Ellaria and Whatever Sand Snake That Is. And kudos to Ramin for that chilling reprise of Cersei’s end of Season 6 theme.

 Did we catch Jaime saying, “No,” as Cersei went in for him before their sex scene? Very frisky, D&D.

This was a much-needed solid Tyrion episode, although all of his plans from the last episode epic-failed. I look forward to the fallout. I’m ready for him to split with Daenerys already.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Sansa will be the queen at the end of all this.

Bran can see everything... except how to explain what being the Three-Eyed Raven means.

Although to be fair, I guess his speed-sync from last season before Max von Sydow died has left him with a fragmented manifestation of his capabilities.

Daenerys’ possessiveness of her dragons is being played up more than usual this season. Expect casualties.

If the Lannister feint seems familiar, that’s because it’s the same tactic Robb used in Season 1, leaving fewer troops to die against Tywin Lannister while leading the bulk of his men to kidnap Jaime. At first, I thought this was lazy writing. But it’s actually a really cool “Jaime learned his lesson” callback.

Oh, wait, there’s literally a line about this. My bad, I forgot D&D don’t trust us to figure things out for ourselves.

The Highgarden attack? Was it un-manned? Or was this just a case of they didn’t have the money to show a full-on battle here?

A note on Diana Rigg - truly one of the greatest assets of this show, and what an exit. Both D&D and her were so locked into that character - everything she said felt right and true. She will be missed. And hopefully Emmy awarded.

NEXT WEEK: D-Baby is done with clever plans, Theon with a boat, and dragons?!? I forgot she had those!!!

#got #gameofthrones #season7 #episode3 #queensjustice #George R R Martin #tyrion #daenerys #jonsnow #bran #sansa #dianarigg #queenofthorns #olenna #sandsnakes #songoficeandfire #hbo

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 6.25-7.1

capsule reviews of the things i attempted to take in last week. in this post: super! pop psychology! oxymoron! crush! beyonce! fake sugar! ctrl! 45 jokes about my dead dad! southsiders! the retrieval! before sunset!

1) Super, dir. James Gunn: A film I think about a lot is Observe & Report. That is an insane film that people were actually given money to make, and it's insane because it plunges deep, deep inside the mind of this psychotic man who thinks he's the one standing between order and chaos, and it's great for that reason, because it doesn't shy away from the ludicrous darkness of that crazy, crazy person. The only way this film is worth watching is if this film takes an Observe & Report-deep look at the motivations of its protagonist, and it doesn't come anywhere close to being that audacious. But this film is dealing with a deeply crazy person, a man who dresses in spandex and beats people with a pipe wrench, and it needed to treat that person like a crazy person, not like a hero. When Ellen Page (the absolute highlight of this film) starts taking it too far, Rainn Wilson can't suddenly pull back, the film either needs to show how he encouraged that wanton violence or have him standing to the side, beaming at the great work his protege is doing. Like, the Crimson Bolt is aware on some level that what he's doing is wrong, and the film doesn't work precisely because the character has that awareness. Not the worst film I've seen all year (I was lurking in a Twitch stream (this one, it’s dope) last night where people in the chat were defending Sausage Party and I swear to Christ I was ten deep breaths away from getting myself banned for yelling at them for their bad opinion), but definitely a bummer.

2) Pop Psychology, by Neon Trees: this was a good album. you know the thing about listening to a three-year-old pop album, though? regular soda pop has an expiration date of three months. but it's not like pop really goes bad, it just kinda falls flat, so if you were to ever drink a three-year-old soda pop, it'd still have that same coke taste, it just wouldn't have the bubbles, wouldn't have that texture. and it's not this album's fault i let it expire, we've been over this, i wasn't doing my part in the mid-tens, if i got this fresh out the fridge i'd have much fonder memories (insofar as anyone remembers a specific soda, and not the general memory of drinking soda pop on summer nights). but this wasn't really designed to be consumed three years after production, and that's too bad, neon trees always made really solid pop music, and i'm sure they could've made something truly dope if they put their minds to it. pop ain't bad, though.

3) Oxymoron, by ScHoolboy Q: Gang life is a nightmare and this is an album that puts those nightmarish aspects at the fore. Like, one of my favorite albums of last year, The Game's 1992, didn't necessarily shy away from the horrors of the life, but it also coated over them with the '90s nostalgia, The Game occasionally getting lost remembering listening to 2Pac and Dre and thinking about the OJ trial, whereas this album says "No, this sucks," with these loud and jarring beats and Q's constant growling painting a portrait of the violence and the constant anger one experiences being caught in that life. It's a notably unique vision, but more importantly, it's honestly a joy to listen to, it's an exceedingly dark album but it never feels like a burden, Q is still making music that is meant to be enjoyed and not just pondered over. It's awesome. All of you who've already listened to it should strongly consider giving it another spin.

4) Crush, by 2NE1: I said I wanted to explore the music of 2014. I said I needed to get caught up on the music that wasn't made by white dudes with guitars. I wanted to travel the world. This showed up on the list of notable 2014 releases. So: here we are! Though like let's be real the only difference between this and any other pop music is the language, and even then, I'm sure 2NE1 is saying nice things about love or mean things about a former lover. I thought this three-year-old K-pop album was very nice, and I do not regret listening to it! Than you, K-pop! We'll catch up again when I get to 2011 and the attendant Girls' Generation release

5) Beyonce: the album everyone said was very good that whirlwind night in 2014 was abso-goddamn-lutely right. like, i'm not gonna go too in-depth because you could read any number of thinkpieces and the album is, in a word, flawless, but it's kind of a bummer for me that the consensus is that Lemonade is better than this. I think Lemonade's more ambitious and deals with more personal issues, but, and I will say this a billion times before I eventually abandon this series where I try to talk about anything, heartbreak and sadness are not inherently deeper emotions than love and happiness. Like, "Daddy Lessons" is the best song on either album bar none (and even that's a jubilant sort of fuck you), but there's at least five songs on here that are better than the second-best song on Lemonade. Don't try and tell me "XO" ain't better than "Hold Up." Things that are about nice things are good, y'know? That's just how I feel.

6) Fake Sugar, by Beth Ditto: I can't believe I nearly forgot to include this album. Like, I had the other ten bitlets written, I was ready to copy+paste into the tumblr text field, and I said, "Didn't I listen to something really cool while trapped on the bus on Wednesday?" and I looked in my recents and THERE WAS THIS. THIS GODDAMNED TOWER OF SYNTHPOP MASTERY. I was intrigued by this album because the AV Club's preview said it had a Nashvilley sound to it, and I'm like, hey, I'm down for something vaguely country, and like. This isn't? country? But it's just like insanely good, like I was just blown away, I hadn't expected it to be epic soaring synthpop but epic soaring synthpop is my jam and I was there for it. (It should be noted that I hadn't actually heard of Gossip before like two weeks ago, and now I'm really stoked to sink into their back catalogue once I get out of 2014.)

7) Ctrl, by SZA: "this album is so good in ways i'll never be able to properly articulate," bob said for the hundreth time, relaxing after another bitlet well wroted flew from his hands into the eyes of ones Like, just the way it gets slowly more surreal as the album proceeds, SZA, like, I dunno, gliding in and out of this dream state while still keeping just in touch with reality enough that she never goes too far out of grasp? Look I'm not smart, I'm not gonna pretend I know what I'm talking about after just a couple listens, I just know it's heckin' great and well worth your time. It's so dope, and I feel like I'm failing this album by not coming up with anything substantive to say about it. We got, what, six deep into this post before I apologized to some entity or another for not being able to properly express my love? New PB. We'll get that perfect post one day.

8) 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad, by Laurie Kilmartin: it says a lot about my sensibility that i knew i'd be into this album the second i saw this album title, like hell yeah, i am in here for all these jokes about your dead dad, HIT ME. i am a fan of jokes about dead parents. it's an incredible album, like, there's a joke where her son asks her why everyone at the funeral is sad and she says it's because they're at a funeral and her son asks "are you sad because i'm not playing Minecraft?" while reaching for her phone and that joke sent me soaring above the tallest remaining rainforest where i mingled with the clouds and the other blessed creatures, and it maybe cracks the top ten. it's so good! like, i legit listened to it twice in a row, that was something where i knew i missed so much from laughing too hard. good work and sorry about your dad.

9) Southsiders, by Atmosphere: Whenever I feel disconnected from Minneapolis, I remember that I live in the same city as the Rhymesayers offices and reroot myself. I will cop to not being that deep in the Rhymesayers catalogue, but knowing my local music scene makes vital and lasting records means a lot to me, and the main thing that keeps me from moving to another city, apart from the fact I don't drive, is that I'll never feel as close to whatever music that city makes as I do to Atmosphere. This isn't really a review insofar as it's me writing a love letter to Atmosphere.

10) The Retrieval, dir. Chris Eska: Dear MUBI, either I'm blind or there were no subtitles available for this film, and if there WERE no subtitles, I am hella available to offer transcription services for you. (I am not a professional transcriptor and have not transcribed anything before, don't hire me.) 'Cuz hoo boy, these were some mumbly, mumbly people. You can figure out what's going on because the plot isn't terribly complex (it's vaguely reminiscent of the single-greatest achievement in filmmaking history, Brother Bear) and all involved are giving wonderful performances, you don't necessarily need to hear Scruffy tell Band of Outsiders "He's a good kid." It communicates its story visually, and that's a dumb thing to say about a movie, but I'm dumb at movies so heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

11) Before Sunset, dir. Richard Linklater: I'm going to be referring to this as my favorite fantasy film of all time. NUTS TO YOU, PRISONER OF AZKABAN. (I don’t watch much fantasy.) The first film does have some plausibility, and it probably even actually happened, you spend one magical night with someone and spend the rest of your life thinking about them. I remain convinced that my soulmate was this girl I hung out with at a Cub Foods family picnic the summer before seventh grade. (An Atmosphere reference and a Cub Foods shout-out. This is a Minnesota-ass journal this week.) But there's no chance that you'd ever actually see that person again, so this film, about two people who have spent nearly a decade thinking about each other and letting that inform their lives, letting the love from that night sort of ruin the way they looked at love, seeing each other again is roughly as implausible as an orc. And it's that layer of fantasy that makes this a much more fulfilling movie than the first one. It's not just two twenty-somethings in love, it's two thirty-somethings who've lived and loved and hurt and now have an hour and change to express everything they've been thinking about the source of that life and love and pain for the last decade. And it's beautiful, like, I wanna have the scene where they talk about desire and goals and process playing on an infinite loop on some screen in my house. ("Isn't not wanting anything a symptom of depression?") I'm way more psyched to get to Before Midnight after this than I was for this after Before Sunrise.

[theworstbob]

the thing journal: 6.4.17 - 6.10.17

capsule reviews of the seven+ pop culture things i took in last week. in this post: solid state, the untouchables, in-ter a-lia, noenemies, the beautiful game, more issues than vogue, let’s not be friends, looper, the last man on earth, and selma

1) Solid State, Jonathan Coulton: This was a very good album of nerd-leaning alternative-rock songs made by a very smart individual who has been making those songs for decades. I feel like, in this capsule, I'm doing the thing where I'm saying "it fulfilled my expectations" as a piece of criticism, when this album was not made with my expectations in mind? I'm gonna do it with the Flobots review, and I'm doing it here, and I'm not sure how much that statement has to offer y'all, because a) you don't know my expectations, and b) this album was not made with my expectations in mind. It's why I think overrated/underrated are bullshit nothingwords, y'know? I can tell you this album did everything I wanted it to do, but it doesn't tell you what I actually thought of the album. What happened is, I thought this album was Very Good, and then I didn't have much to say beyond that, so I threw in the thing about what I wanted, and that sounds like I'm saying something when I'm actually saying nothing. So: this album was Very Good, and then other words until the paragraph looks as full as I want it to be.

2) The Untouchables, dir. Brian de Palma: There's nothing like the sense of relief which comes from finally seeing one of those movies with a dozen all-time quotes you've been hearing for years and years. Like, I can't remember any specific instance of my father using a line from this movie in place of advice? But I'm sure it happened, and I am thrilled to understand him better. This is just a solid film, this would be one of those films I'd watch if I had basic cable and it came on while I was flipping channels. Brian de Palma knows how to direct a B+ movie, and Sean Connery is fucking amazing as the wizzened Chicago veteran, like half the reason this film has so many iconic lines is his delivery. I am about to say something blasphemous, given I am trying to tell y'all I'm a film nerd, and say I didn't like the score? It's Morricone, I know, I know, he's great, but I think the film loses something by scoring this film about Prohibition-era Chicago with a standard orchestral score. I feel like jazz should have figured more prominently into the equation.

3) in-ter a-lia, by At the Drive-In: I have no idea why I listened to this album, to be perfectly frank. I like "One-Armed Scissor," but with all the music that has ever existed being immediately available to me at my leisure, I could have picked up the At the Drive-In album with "One-Armed Scissor," I believe it is called This Station Is Non-Operational, though that might just be a line from "One-Armed Scissor" I thought was cool. I am not a hardcore fan of this band and didn't need to listen to their reunion album. I didn't need to hear lines like the poetry book of the balding dude with dreadlocks, "How many bites do you think it takes to get to the cyanide tooth" like ugh, being howled wildly over abrasive guitar tracks, just loud and fast and never stopping. I didn't have a pleasant time with this one.

4) Noenemies, by Flobots: The most surprising thing about this album is that it isn't just Flobots saying "I told you so" for 50 minutes.That would've been my move, given that, after 2016, I started to listen to the Flobots songs I thought were way too left for me and saying, "You know what, fuck. I should've listened. I'm sorry. I get it now. Please help." It's an album that doesn't yet know how to get unstuck from the mire, but is absolutely certain that the mire is the only obstacle in their way, that justice will prevail and the good people will win. It's not my favorite album of all time, but it's exactly what I wanted and needed from a Flobots album in 2017.

5) The Beautiful Game, by Vulfpeck: As far as albums I listened to because someone played one of the songs in a donation message on a Twitch stream, this was decent! I think reading the summary of this band's history colored my opinion on it, because it does sound like a couple of white kids who met in college, discovered they both loved Kanye West, talked about the old-school samples on his tracks, actually took the time to listen to those songs, realized they loved those songs as well, and decided to make those songs. It's a pretty OK album, maybe I wouldn't have paid $3.50 to convince 200 strangers they should listen to it, but OK enough backing for a bus ride.

6) More Issues Than Vogue, by K. Michelle: I think I might have the least to say about this album than anything else this week. It's an eminently enjoyable pop/R&B album that doesn't give you a lot to chew on, but does give you a lot to love. And while I know that the challenge of the Thing Journal is to get me to think about the pop culture which I experience, you gotta sometimes recognize when an album has such an infectious charm and tight production and solid vocal work that thinking about it might distract from the experience it wants you to have, that you should just listen to the thing because it wants you to hear it. It's an album of great joy, and I'm glad I got on its wavelength in time to let go and enjoy the hell out of it.

7) Let's Not Be Friends, by The Girls!: On the bus the other day, I was looking up Lydia Loveless, because I knew Lydia Loveless was right up my alley but hadn't actually listened to any of her stuff beyond her AUdiotree session, and in looking up and adding all her albums to my library, I discovered she had a sister in a punk band with an exclamation point in their name, and "female-fronted punk band with an exclamation point in their name" checks off three things I need from a band to love them, so I knew I was gonna love this, which is why I listened to this before any of that Lydia Loveless nonsense. I fucking loved this album. I love anything that's 12 tracks of pure, joyous punk/rock with a tinge of '50s-pop influence and no shortage of eternal teen angst. It bums me out that this is the only full album listed on their Wikipedia, and that they haven't been active on any sort of social media I could find for nearly a year. I need more of this in my life. (Also: I have now listened to 20 2014 releases! I actually hit a point where I felt I was caught up on my queue and, needing new things to listened to, am gonna go back and fill in the gaps in my musical experience, starting with 2014. Like, I've listened to all the punk things, I know I covered that ground, but that year and all years in music have so much more to offer beyond what I was looking for, and I'm stoked to finally listen to offerings such as Beyonce's self-titled, Anderson .Paak's Venice, and 2NE1's Crush.

8) Looper, dir. Rian Johnson: As someone who spends most of his time either yelling at his past self for the poor choices that put him in his present situation or making choices with little to no regard for how they impact my future, I loved that scene in the dinner, where JGL and Bruce Willis are basically doing that, Bruce Willis sternly warning JGL of the mistakes he'll make and the need to find the woman in China, and JGL being flippant and focused solely on the present danger being brought by Bruce Willis.I also have made respect for, in that same scene, Bruce Willis saying, "Look, we could sit here for fucking days trying to figure out the science, but fuck that, 100% fuck that." I assume the time travel makes sense and am mostly unconcerned with how it works, so thank you, movie, for being a movie! I do kinda wish the film had done more with the concept of chasing your past or future self, the film goes somewhere and then stays there for an hour, and like it's still a pretty decent movie, Rian Johnson has no shortage of imagination or skill, but it didn't need to be a movie about time-travel if you were just gonna put one of the characters in a barn the whole time? But, whatever, solid B+. Dope film. Not a lot of complaints. (Perhaps because I watched it between the hours of 2 and 4 AM Saturday morning because MY LIFE IS TOGETHERRRRRRRRRRRR and might need to rewatch this at a more reasonable hour?)

9) The Last Man on Earth s1, cr. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller: I love how unafraid this show is to let its characters be horrible fucking people. At no point after the first episode does the show let you feel anything like sympathy for Tandy; he just does awful thing after awful thing, all in self-interest, and always making things worse for the small community. (And he drags everyone down with him! He corrupts Todd, he tricks Carol into abandoning Tucson for him, he goads Phil into leaving him in the fucking desert. No one on this show is good, but that’s in no small part due to Tandy’s influence. (Also, as you can tell, I loved when the show just switched to calling him Tandy. Like, minor initial resistance, and then he was just Tandy.)) It's such a fascinating concept, the idea that one of the last people on earth is an anti-social monster, and I can't believe that a broadcast television network aired this experiment. I'm bummed I've been missing this for so long but stoked to finally be beginning this journey.

10) Selma, dir. Ava DuVernay: For the longest time, I was watching this film, trying to figured out why everything looked so muted. Every shot was filled with earth tones, reds and browns and greens always, and it looked like they left it just a couple notches above sepia, and while I was never removed from the film, it was in the back of my mind the whole time, what is the reason for this choice. And then near the end, when they added in the archival footage that was sepia-toned, it hit me: it was trying to be two notches above sepia-toned. It wanted to have that feel of the archival footage, a matter of historical record, but it also wanted to root itself in something modern, because this is very much a modern story. We still see horrible acts of police brutality, we still see black people being denied the right to vote, we still see out government leaders doing nothing but wishing these people would stop bothering them. Or, perhaps it goes for half-sepia because sepia is typically associated with nostalgia, we color over our memories of the past to make it better, but they leave some color in there because there's no making the past better in this instance. It's a remarkable film, and one I bet won a thousand Oscars! I don't see how it couldn't!