#i felt like a real critic for a minute lmaoo

[theawakenedstate]

I had full-body chills after I wrote this today…. I couldn’t help but share it.

Circa 2010. Blonde Hair. Because the guy I liked said I would look better as a blonde – 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Confessions of a Former People Pleaser

Cue – Emo Music.

Hi,

I’m a Recovering People Pleaser.

My habits include over-compensating my relationships, constantly looking for others validation & their opinion of me so I personally feel okay.

I frequently over-give and over-gift advice along with my time, energy and space to other people.

I spend my time often putting my own personal needs last, often starving myself to the point of feeling dizzy so I can feel beautiful for a minute, before i fall down another streak of beating myself up with self-criticism about my body.

As a Result for this, I never focus on my desires or dreams, I am always focused on everyone else.

I never spend time communicating my dreams in my relationships or friendships.

I bite my tongue in my relationships & Let others decide for me because I just don’t have my own voice – I let others speak for me – and unfortunately

Because of that – I’m secretly brainwashed by guilt from others, emotional manipulation and unconsciously trying to control my relationships in my free time – this easily pushes away people who are interested in me at first.

When i’m not of course over-working to the point of BURNOUT to prove my worth – so that i don’t feel useless or that I don’t matter.

Sincerely,

A Very Emotionally insecure Open Empath, who was struggling with her unconscious intuitive gifts daily… Who had no clue a year later she would be going through the most transformative YEAR of her entire life.

🪦 R.I.P. PAST SELF.

I burned it all to the ground and transcended out of ALL OF IT.

And I never went blonde again lmaoo 😆

If you can remotely relate to ANY of the above, you may be asking: Well, what happened Ash?

Energy Work, that’s what happened my friends.

After discovering spiritual awakening & freaking out about what was happening to me, I discovered the Chakras.

The Chakras and Learning about Energy work completely healed my emotional damage I was constantly experiencing due to my own Past conditioning.

My Life was FLIPPED upside down –

But I? Never felt more FREE, Emotionally Fulfilled, Confident, owning my Power and Voice, Unleashing my Self-expression, & most of all Believing in my self again.

Yesterday I shopped for a bikini – 5-10 years ago there was NO WAY I would let myself do that.

My Confidence has Grown. My boundaries are solid. My Standards are Raised. I have more acceptance on who i am than I’ve ever had. I don’t look for validation anymore – and I have So. Much. Joy in my Life Creating, Expressing, building the business of my dreams and having a beautiful supportive partner and children to share it with

I really believe – none of that would be possible if i didn’t do the internal energetic work.

I would of been struggling with my body, hating myself, not feeling lovable. beating myself up with negative self-talk in my head all the time.

I would of been feeling unsafe, anxious, low boundaries in my relationships, SETTLING all over the place,

I would of been Ungrounded, struggling with addictions and obsessing about things – not connected to my body.

I wouldn’t of understood my intuition or my gifts –

Sometimes it’s really hard for me to grasp how to tell you the REAL TRANSFORMATION – that can occur from Energy Work.

Because it’s honestly hard to put into words how much transformation can occur when you begin to clean up what isn’t serving you anymore.

What I wrote above is from my journal reflecting on how much my life has changed since I started doing energy work in 2011 –

FULL BODY CHILLS. 😳 __

I can’t tell you exactly how energy work can change you –

your experience will be unique to you & your own alignment.

what i can do is show you, how much it’s transformed my life and my clients who have already done this work.

➡️ Have you done energy work before? Do you have Questions about Energy work or how to get started? Drop a Comment Below and let me know – I love hearing from you all.

If you’re ready to get started – I have something for you!

I am hosting a Free Training featuring my Framework inside of The ultimate Chakra Academy – right now you can access it for FREE before we open the doors to the Academy.

Learn more about it below:

It’s SPRING CLEANING Time,

Tis’ the season for energetic hygiene!

I am inviting you to join me for a unique experience where I will be sharing how to detox your chakras with understanding the Mind-body Connection.

When it comes to understanding Energy work, there is no better system to understand both how energy works and manifestation than the chakra system.

In this unique experience, I will be guiding you to Learn My 3 Step Framework To Detox Your Chakras With The Mind-Body Connection For Amazing Health, Radical Awareness, And Learning To Manifest With The Chakra System.

Here’s What You’ll Take Away from this FREE Masterclass:

Why Energy Management is often the Key you’re looking for when it comes to Healing Your relationships, health, self-esteem, communication skills, confidence, etc.

How chakras are Interconnected to Manifestation: How you can personally begin using this to your advantage to manifest in every area of your life

How to Create a Detox Plan for your Chakras: identifying how blocked chakras impact your health and emotional wellbeing. Learn to Easily Identify what is out of balance

My 3-step framework to using energy work to detox your Mind + body to feel Aligned & create Healthy Habits: allowing you to heal, clear your subconscious, break habits and patterns, and step into radical alignment to manifest your every desire.

+Plus free workbook!

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https://www.theawakenedstate.net/confessions-of-a-former-people-pleaser/

Confessions of a Former People Pleaser

I had full-body chills after I wrote this today…. I couldn’t help but share it. Circa 2010. Blonde Hair. Because the guy I liked said I would look better as a blonde – 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Confessions of a Former People Pleaser Cue – Emo Music. Hi, I’m a Recovering People Pleaser. My habits include over-compensating my […]

#chakras #energy work #people pleasing #stories about energy work

[diversemymedia]

The Passage: The Goods and Gripes

The Passage wasn’t necessarily on my list of shows to watch but I am more than glad that I gave the show a shot. Before it aired, I had seen commercials for it every now and then but the promotion wasn’t to a point where I made sure I wanted to see it. What slightly intrigued me was the little Black girl who, from the looks of it, had superpowers? Something I couldn’t really recall seeing in my life—especially as a lead. Like many others, I was rightfully skeptical because it was meant to air on Fox. Instantly, I thought about Sleepy Hollow, Minority Report, and Pitch (a show I never watched but heard a lot about). Since I was unsure of what it was about I did a little more research and discovered that it is based on a novel trilogy of the same name by Justin Cronin. Initially, Fox paid millions to have the books adapted into a three-part film series but plans changed and it was morphed into a television series,and I couldn’t be more thankful. Our wonderful Saniyya Sidney was exposed to millions of people across the US. I told myself that if I was tired of seeing shows, that featured Black girls, get the axe, the least I could do was support it by watching. I feel the need to also mention that I had no idea Gosselaar, he co-star, was Indonesian, which made it all the more worth it. 

Hope you enjoy reading. This will be a spoiler free review. I’ve also included a new rating system for myself. Instead of five stars, I will be using ten.

The Passage aired on January 24th, 2019. I missed the premiere because I never made plans to watch it. I found out about it through the on-demand menu and gave the show a shot. I had mixed feelings shortly after watching the first episode but I stuck around anyway because I was completely astounded by the little lead actress. The series follows a preteen named Amy Bellafonte (portrayed by Saniyya Sidney) and a federal agent named Brad Wolgast (portrayed by Mark-Paul Gosselaar) who are both caught in the crossfires of a medical government conspiracy known as Project Noah. Right off the bat, it’s evident that the father-figure/daughter-figure duo relationship is being built here. This trope can be well-received, especially if it’s done right. It gives characters a chance to explore backstories, have interesting dynamics, and build meaningful relationships and it’s usually with someone one of the characters least expect. I guess it’s fair to say that it was another one of the reasons why I decided to stick around. Ironically enough, a lot of my top favorite shows and games use this trope. To name a few there’s Ellie and Joel from The Last of Us, Clementine and Lee from The Walking Dead video game, and Rex and Agent Six from Generator Rex. The only difference with GR is that both are males.

The powerhouses of the show are Gosselaar and Sidney and their character’s relationships are undoubtedly the foundation of this series. The greatest thing about the pair is the chemistry they share on-screen together and whether it might be a flaw or strength, they’re even greater together than they are apart. Brad is introduced as a federal agent who has dealt with a devastating loss in his life, which in turn has made him become a stoic weapon for the government—willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. However, as time goes on, Brad not only shows a softer side but a far more empathetic one. As mentioned by a follower of mine, Brad isn’t the typical type of mentor who puts all of his burdens on Amy and tells her harbor it because she must remain “strong”. Instead, he acknowledges the trauma and grief that Amy experiences and he does everything he can to allow her to get some sense of closure, even if it means helping her find it.

Amy is a wonderfully complex character from start to finish and deals with a vast amount of emotions through the entirety of season 1. Although I’ve already said it before, Saniyya is an actress who is deserving of all the awards in the world to handle such a multifaceted role. Amy deals with loss, being abducted to being manipulated, and coming to terms with something that changes her entire life forever. Although other people constantly refer to it as “sass”, I saw her as nothing more than a preteen who stood up for herself against smart-mouthed adults who thought they could always one-up her, but Amy was always a step ahead. One thing I feel a lot of people missed is that Amy represents a latch key child and wears a key around her neck. Over time, the key serves itself as a prominent symbol, existing to tell other children like her that they matter and that they can be destined to do great things although the going gets tough.

Aside from these two, a lot of my praise also goes out to the overall production side of the show. This is one of the few times I can truly say I appreciate almost every single cast member’s acting ability. Special recognition to Caroline Chikezie, Jamie McShane, McKinley Belcher III, and Brianne Howey for their depictions of their respective, morally grey, characters. Everyone was truly fascinating to watch and I grew to passionately appreciate or dislike their characters for such superb presentations. Not to mention, the dialogue between the characters are just as great and seemingly realistic. I grew attached to a majority of them. Even the graphics and special effects—although they are basic, they were very fitting and not too overkill to a point where it felt like a flashy mcu film. My only advise would be to use effects a bit more during certain scenarios.

Now, there were only a couple of things that made me grumble and, if done excessively, could impact on the show’s life span. For starters, my biggest gripe is with the series’ showrunner, Liz Hildens. I question if it’s just me but I think it’s clear by her track-record that she isn’t the best person to lead a show. Personally, every episode she’s had a hand in has been the weakest to me (episodes, 1, 2, and 10). Ratings fell drastically whenever Hildens’ episodes aired. The other writers, however, managed to keep a firm hold on the remaining audience although they had to work with what they were given by Hildens. Everything was going in the right direction right up until Hildens returned for the finale and gave us a very subpar tenth episode.

The only thing I can commend Hildens for is her history of hiring black actresses as leads in her shows. For a white woman, this is a trend I’ve seen of hers and if it weren’t for her, I’m inclined to believe that Saniyya would not have been on our television screens every Monday night. For those who didn’t know, Hildens also created a soap-opera called Deception, that aired back in 2013, where Meagan Good portrayed the show’s lead. On a macro level, Hildens appropriates a lot of soapy techniques and the tone of her writing just doesn’t mingle well with a series that’s supposed to reflect an intense thriller. She attempts to cover so much in a single episode that a lot of subtext gets lost. I could arguably say that having her on the writing team was detrimental to the series but I fear Amy being put in the hands of someone else.

Any other criticisms are extremely minor. For instance, characters react a little unrealistic in the face of danger, and it’s usually done for the sake of getting the immediate plot going. There’s a scene where a character is getting pursued by an enemy. Instead of running to one of the many armed gunmen for help, this character decides to run to a fellow colleague who is locked in a cell and pleads for their help. There are plenty of moments like those. There are also times I wish the writers utilized Amy a lot more. As episodes progressed, Amy did spectacular things. Seeing that she is just a child, the care given to her is understandable but her defenselessness in later episodes was such a backpedal to her character and it was disappointing. Taking this direction begged the question as to how the finale played out the way it did.

A brief synopsis of the show is that Project Noah is currently in the process of trying to develop a cure-all remedy. The twist? They’re experimenting with vampire’s blood. These vampires are commonly known as ‘virals’. Basically, a scientist comes to the conclusion that a younger patient would be an ideal candidate for their research and as horrifying as it sounds, they go through with it and assign an agent to fetch one.

Overall, The Passage certainly did meet my expectations considering that they were low after the first two episodes. It wasn’t below nor above, yet It does a fabulous job at telling young girls everywhere, including those who look like Amy, that they’re capable of being superpowered on-screen. With the first season completed, all there’s left is to do is wait for a renewal of the sci-fi thriller.

The Passage: Season 1 rating: 7/10 stars.

Hope you enjoyed this read. Feel free to follow my blog for more posts and critiques on diversity & representation.

(Updates: I corrected Liz’s surname to ‘Hildens’ instead of ‘Hilden’.)

#the passage #amy bellafonte #saniyya sidney #mark paul gosselaar #brad wolgast #review #black girls #sci fi #thriller #post apocalyptic #i felt like a real critic for a minute lmaoo