#i feel vindicated that caleb is as anxious and slow to come around and heal in canon

[glossolali]

They are together once more– celebrating, drinking, laughing as if they had not been recently apart for the last six months.

Fjord and Jester just announced that they're engaged to be married in the next year. 

He is of course, incredibly happy for them, but he can't help the sinking feeling in his chest, especially when his eyes land on Essek, who smiles fondly at Jester's beaming, proud little face.

He's making him wait for so long, and it's been six months, but not yet. He's not ready. There's still so much left to fix– in the world, and in himself.

He lays a hand gently on top of Essek's when he gets the chance next, and he doesn't know how to say 'Thank you' and 'I've missed you' and 'I wish much for us' so all that comes out is:

"I'm sorry."

Essek, perplexed, says quietly between them, "For what?"

He feels a sad smile grow on his lips and his words leave him again, so he shakes his head and says, "Later."

Soft violet eyes meet his searchingly, then Essek nods, smiles kind and warm, then squeezes his hand and moves on.

When Caleb looks away, he sees Caduceus approaching to put down a bowl of stew in front of him, then sits next to him with his own and hums thoughtfully.

"Do you remember the green beans?"

"Ah– ja, ja– of course." His voice comes out far more timid than he'd intended.

"We are planted, and so we have to grow. But each plant grows differently, some fast, some slow, some tall or short. Some grow in the fall, and some in spring."

Caleb swallows the spoonful of food in his mouth and it goes down past the lump in his throat.

He didn't realize he was so easy to read.

Then again, it's Caduceus.

"You are not slow or out of time, Caleb. You are growing exactly as you are meant to."

Dammit.

He feels his eyes well up quick, and a traitorous tear rolls off his lashes and into his lap when he blinks to look away, embarrassed.

Caduceus' large, warm hand lands on his shoulder.

"Th– thank you, Herr Clay."

–

[on AO3]

#i actually wrote this the day before in a server drabble sesh but dAMN #i feel vindicated that caleb is as anxious and slow to come around and heal in canon #i cannot WAIT to see how he shows more of that next game 💕💕💕💕 ah i love him soooo much #caleb widogast #cr spoilers #critical role #m9 reunion #mighty nein reunion #shadowgast #essek thelyss #essek #caleb #caduceus clay #caduceus #also yes in my fic ofc cad is gonna be there it's just a logistical issue irl LMAO #glossopost #glossofic #mighty nein reunited