#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

letstalkaboutfandomsbaby · 2 years

Note

Hey Sunny.........I am having a major burnout.....just full on academic frustration and I want to cry because I did my second and third exam for the sem finals so terribly. I have never ever written an exam this bad.....I was the topper of my class throughout 11th and 12th grade and now I feel like I am being stretched in all directions and I feel so fucking hopeless sometimes. Lots of things happened to me last year and well.....I wasn't given time to process....to grieve or mourn or just fucking cry out loud at all.......I am just feeling so fucking sad and I feel so dejected at myself. As much as I wanna ask for help, I feel weak because the culture that surrounds me bashes a person who dares to ask for help in the first place. I just want someone to hold me and let me cry until I just fall asleep from crying because God knows how long I have been just repressing all sadness in me just so I can be seen as the 'jovial' kid. I am so frustrated and mad at myself because I feel like I will never recover for whatever has happened to me and that I will never get to live my life the way I want......ya know be queer and free and live as such. Sorry for the rant, I just didn't know who to talk to.

- ❤️ anon

Hey bub 💕 first off, you have no reason to apologize. I always love when you show up in mg inbox :) im sorry that you're going through such a rough time rn. It seems like a lot of stuff is happening at once which os making it difficult for you to cope and function, and i am so sorry for that. I'm not the best at giving advice, but hopefully my past experiences can ease your pain:

I was depressed throughout college. I was away from home, i was living in the basement of my conservative aunt and uncle's house, i lived off campus so i didn't make any friends or join any clubs. I was so unbearably lonely and sad that i often cried once i was alone. Ofc there were happy times, but it was a very stressful three years of my life. It's not easy, there's a lot going on that can cause burnout, but it's important for you to prioritize your health over your grades. Ik it's easier said than done but you have to do it. Turn off and put away all school related items. Take some time to breathe and just let yourself meditate and clear your mind. Take a nap if you want to. Your brain is struggling to keep up with everything, you have to let it rest. Make a recipe that reminds you of the past and brings back happy memories. Watch a comfort show. Talk to family or friends that make you feel better. Just gove yourself some time to decompress bc you will not be able to continue studying if you are still overwhelmed.

I'm gonna let you in on a secret: it doesn't matter if you fail. It doesn't matter if you do terribly on your exams and fail a class bc you can always take it again. The funny thing about university is that it feels very important but it's similar to high school in that no one cares about your grades as long as you have a degree. There was one class i took that i got a 1.5 GPA on, and the only reason i passed the 1.0 GPA requirement for it was bc covid made learning remote so i was essentially able to cheat on my last exam sksksk. But i never think about that class a year after graduation. It has no effect on my day to day life. It will never affect me in the future. I have my bachelor's degree and i have a plan for the future. Life moves on.

But maybe you're just scared of the idea of failure in general, but everything happens for a reason. I was devastated when all of my vet school applications wete rejected. I felt like a failure and that i wasn't good enough and never would be good enough, but if that had never happened then i wouldn't have all the experiences i have today. I wouldn't have a new job that i love and i may not have made improvements in my life. Your failures give you opportunities to learn and grow, and you can make more informed decisions with your newfound knowledge. It's still scary bc you still fear failure, but now you have experience to look back on and reference when in a similar situation. Think about what worked and didn't work for you on your exams. Is there any way to talk to your professor about them? Perhaps you could go over your strengths and weaknesses to find out what you need to work on for your next tests. Idk what country you're in but many professors enjoy when students are passionate about improving upon their grades, so it wouldn't hurt to reach out and ask for help.

Ik it's hard, but you need to allow yourself to be weak. You need to allow yourself to cry until you're exhausted. Crying helps the body release excess chemicals, including those that stress you out like cortisol. Ik it's difficult, but you need to let this biological process happen so that your body can rebalance itself and function properly. The longer you push it down, the harder it will be on your brain and body. So just cry. In your pillow, in the shower, in public: wherever you want. Just let it out. Let yourself feel those feelings. Here's a good graphic to help you do that:

If it's any consolation, I've felt the way you have before. I've felt hopeless and awful and i convinced myself i would never be happy. Just last year i believed people who called me a narcissist, manipulative, a psycho, pathetic, a gaslighter, etc etc. I hung onto those words and convinced myself that i would never be happy bc i didn't deserve it.

Well guess fucking what, i am happy skskks. Im lucky enough to be able to attend therapy and i worked on things with a therapist and with this hard work and time gone by, im better. Im happy. I felt hopeless but i kept on living and now im experiencing so many new an wonderful things! I would've never guessed i would've been this happy a year or two ago, but i am. Sometimes it just takes time. Life will continue despite how stuck you feel, and you will move past these life events and you will smile and you will laugh and you will be able to breathe without struggling not to cry. You need to allow yourself time to heal and grow. Be patient with yourself. You are not perfect, you are human, which is much more exciting than perfection in my humble opinion. If i was there i would give you the biggest hug, squeeze you tight and rock you side to side and let you cry. And once you've gotten it out of your system, I'll make you some food. Maybe broccoli cheddar soup with toasted sourdough. Ooo and apple pie for dessert, with vanilla ice cream. Something yummy that's definitely self indulgent sksksk.

I hope you feel better soon bubby. I hope my words help in some way and if not i apologize. If you want to talk in private, my dms are always open 💕

#ask #❤ anon

6 notes · View notes

jinkivld-blog · 5 years

Text

so this intro is so delayed i’m actually so embarrassed, but my week has been full and it was hard to post earlier !! anyways hello, my name is jada, and this is my new muse YOO JINKI, known by his fans as BLCKDG. i am so excited to get this thing started & have tons of muse for this character, so i hope that you will love him as well !! if you’re interested in plotting with him please LIKE THIS, and here is his BIO, PLOTS ( wip i’m making it pretty ), and PROFILE ! more info on him under the cut !

okay so i’m gonna skip his predebut life bc that’s all outlined in the bio !

when he debuted, though, he was a veeeery quiet little thing. and honestly, that’s his true personality behind all the glam and partying & such ! but he really has to connect to his music to perform, so since they started making all the party songs he started going to the parties !! and that’s how it all began.

honestly in general he went downhill once the fame got to his head and he started living the life he thought he was supposed to be living ?? and to this day is his major downfall

but what he soon discovered is that he’s a scary good liar, and that it was easy to lie his way out of situations. jinki had the advantage of having a good boy reputation, which meant that no one would suspect anything off the bat.

but the bad thing about this was that jinki also got a little too reckless without thinking of potential repercussions. and there started the many blckspdr scandals !!

then, and even now sort of, jinki had this utopia world where he never would get caught and could live freely, but these were his first reality checks !! but being as stubborn as he is, he refused to take the blame & has been adamant on keeping his image up with the public. that kind of (assumably) put a dent in the duo’s relationship bc well...obviously jinki was lying to save himself instead of thinking as a collective unit !

but yeah now he’s like...the “good one” of the two or whatever ?? but let’s be honest ladies that’s a whole lot of bs my boy is m-e-s-s-y

anyways onto his personality !! he’s veeery chill. outside of work, that is - put music in the equation and he’s stressing about deadlines and adamant on getting everything perfect. but outside of that ?? ask him to go somewhere ? he’ll take his time ! you’re stressing over relationship issues ? he says smoke a blunt and forget about it ! like nothings the end of the world for him. he’s veery much good time not a long time culture !

but can come off as a little cocky to the younger idols ?? he’s got this “senior status” mindset that he’s better because he’s been there longer, but i can almost promise you your trainee muses have their lives more together ! please do not listen to him.

but if you get past that, sometimes he has good advice, and to be fair, has seen enough in the industry to know the rundown of how things work if your muse needs a reality check.

looking into music production a lot more these days ! part of his struggle is he wants to branch out and beyond just a soloist, have his own company. but that’s a rather longterm dream but it does contribute to his internal conflicts

a little more about his senior status thing or whatever, he acts a little more reckless than he should ?? like you would think he would learn - right ?? but he still sneaks around to drink, party, smoke & all that to this day. when will he learn ! but yeah always running off to go do something who knows what

he still feels guilty about the whole situation, and while it wasn’t all his fault, he knows he’s a part of the reason blckspdr isn’t together anymore.

tying into that, he can get really lonely !! he has introvert tendencies so even if he mimics extrovert behavior, he’ll tend to hold himself up for days at a time and now that he’s a soloist it doesn’t make it much better.

lives in his own apartment now though !! he really wants a dog sksksk it’s just too much work : (( sigh !

i think that’s it though ! i’ve talked enough right ? now let’s hope i can get my life together in time before activity check rip !

#( & ooc. )#yikes don't even mention how late this is ok pls ty

12 notes · View notes