#i feel like the big thing thats been fucking me uo these past years besides not having friends is my sister

[be-good-to-bugs]

the world isnt so bad

#the bin #i think ill be ok one day #i feel like i need to change a lot of my lofe and relationships for that to happen but ill do it and ill be better for it and ill be ok #i feel like the big thing thats been fucking me uo these past years besides not having friends is my sister #i just. dont like her. shes mean and unpleasant to be around. she seems fine if u only spend a little time around her but shes so negative #and its not enougj to just not talk much. like. i need our relationship to stop existing in its current for in a tangeble way #not enough to just talk less bc then shes like why r we talking less. but i dont have the option of just saying hey ur mean and i dont #wanna be kinda-friends anymore. we can just have the same kinda relationship i have with the rest of our siblings #because i have literally nobody else here and if she gets mad im kinda fucked. i need her to take me to work. i cant compromise that #its just. idk it sucks. i think itll be healthy to jave distance from her when i move away so that ohr relationship can do the thing quietly #idk. i would have no problem with just changing things immediately but she always has reacted badly to that stuff sooo #ive felt yhis way for many years now but i felt like i was the problem and that shes actually fine but thats not it #and i keep trying to fix it but idk. shes just unpleasant. shes not horrible but we do NOT work. i need to talk to my other older sister #more cause shes really nice. probably gonna help her get a job and stuff when i move. maybe we will move in together #only for like a temp time but just so she can get a handle on living on ur own. and she would need a ride to work n stuff #shes very loud so id rather not live with her. i wanna live alone. but i wanna help her out also bc nobody is willing to do that for her #and also treat her like a capable adult. how can she learn how to be an adult if nobody treats her like one? shes perfectly capable once #she learns but its not stuff u just know on ur own. well. without other ppl getting in the way we communicate very well #idk. thats way future stuff tho. but maybe will do that in the future. im trying to be optimistic and think abt my oter siblings to talk to #i have 3 who are old enough to have regular conversations with and the other 2 r a bit young. 2 of the 3 r kinda mean tho #well. me and my other older sister can live in the least fav children club and talk abt how rude the other 2 are lol