#i dont remember in which episode of screaming meals they talk about him?? but it was really sweet

[httpiastri]

pepe’s laugh is like music to my ears… spent almost the entire night last night just thinking ab him, the way he laughs, the way he talks 🫠 just constantly thinking about the behind the scenes of chasing the dream where his suit was 2 sizes too small and he just keeps giggling ab it…. i need to cradle him in my arms. NOW.

also absolutely cannot wait for bunny bandaids and forehead kisses!!! when i tell you i was like geeking tf out when i saw that you were writing a pepe fic I MEAN IT! doing god’s work here i love u so muchie 💘💘

AAAAA !! ANONNIE I FEEL YOU !!!! his laughter truly is so so so so so sweet. all of him is so sweet. i really love his accent omg, it's so soothing. that chasing the dream episode was pure gold, im so so thankful for rory because he really made it gorgeous. as always!! but yeah omfg every second with pepe made me so soft. like i kept imagining being there with him and giggling with him about the suit... or hugging him after his podiums in bahrain...... 🥺 ive been making private character.ai bots with him just for myself because ive been craving pepe content recently and i just can't find any 💔

and before i leave the subject of his giggles/laughter, just wanted to include this clip because its one of my all-time faves, he sounds SO CUTE !!! i wanna hear it irl, is that too much to ask?? :(

awe love, it makes me so glad to hear that!! 💞 i rlly enjoyed writing it, it's not very long but it's a good start i think 😚 it's nearly done so i should be able to post it quite soon. thank you for the support, and thank you so so much for the ask !!!!! the second i saw that i got an ask about pepe i just started smiling to myself and every time i thought about it these last few days ive literally been this emoji 🥺 sjdhgdfhd. i love u more!!!

#i dont remember in which episode of screaming meals they talk about him?? but it was really sweet #talking about how they want him on the pod.... the amount of money i would pay #this is so random but i thought about this today #if im not wrong.. two people have taken their first f2 wins in the baku sprint and then gone along to also win the feature the following da #juri vips and ollie bearman........ #so uh... i think one of our fave rookies can also do a double kill in baku this year :) #only problem is... it's so far away this year.... not in the spring :( #i want them to have wins before that #rlly rlly rlly love the pepe asks <3<3<3<3 #this gave me so much energy #asks! #anon! #pepe marti

[rengokusflames]

~Goofing around ~

Summary: While Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu stay to settle at the old lady’s place, they decide to go to sleep. But something more playful comes their way🪶

(I took a scene from a episode and changed it to make it a playful time lol)

Orange text=Zenitsu

Blue text= Inosuke

Green text=Tanjiro

All of them are laying down on the beds the sweet lady offered them. Tanjiro is in the middle so Inosuke and Zenitsu don’t fight, But Zenitsu and Inosuke can’t seem to get along still. Zenitsu is still annoyed with how Inosuke acted back at the creepy mansion where they found the older brother of the 2 younger kids.

“You sorry?…” He asked with a straight face.

“Not really.” He told him with a straight face making Zenitsu more annoyed.

“JUST APOLOGIZE!!” He yelled. His straight face was replaced with a angry look. “Forget it!” The 2 seemed to start arguing again.

“Hey! Be nice!” Tanjiro scolded both of them. He couldn’t understand why they can’t just make up and be friends.

“Look Inosuke…We just won’t eat with you if you act that way.”

“Huh?! How’s that related?!” Inosuke was confused by this.

“Because meals always taste better when you eat together y’know?…”

“Yea, he’s right!” He responded.

“Did the 2 of you hit your heads or something?” He asked with a werid look. Although Inosuke still was talking calm. Despite him being aggressive….He’s not really yelling! So far… “LIKE YOUR THE ONE TO TALK ABOUT THAT!!” Zenitsu yelled AGAIN. These 2 really started to annoy Tanjiro. He remembers how his little siblings would argue and whine a lot which drove Tanjiro crazy as a older brother. But now that he lost all his little siblings besides Nezuko. He missed them so so much…The poor boy has been through a lot and still manages to keep a smile on his face.

Tanjiro just chuckles. His annoyance now gone. “You guys are starting to remind me of my younger siblings who used to argue with each other a lot.” Boy…He should have never said that.

“Wait what?” He tilts his head. While Inosuke seems offended by this comment.

“EH?! WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN GONPACHIRO?! ARE YOU TRYING TO OFFEND US?” Inosuke sits up from his bed and looks at Tanjiro straight in the eyes giving him a angry glare.

“W-What? No no! It’s not like that! I just find it funny! That’s all! I wasn’t trying to offend you guys. And for the record…My name is Tanjiro not Gonpachiro!” He seems embarrassed about saying that, he never wanted to make his friends upset by this. He also wishes Inosuke would say his name correct for once lol.

“WHY ARE YOU GETTING OFFENDED SO EASILY?! Don’t worry, Tanjiro! I’m not offe-” Zenitsu is interrupted by Inosuke.

“HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME?! YOU KNOW WHAT U WERE SAYING! YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!” Inosuke yells at Tanjiro, still saying his name wrong. As he tries to tackle Tanjiro. Zenitsu tries stopping him by grabbing his arms.

“Hey hey! Enough Pighead! Leave him alone he didn’t want to offend you!”

“GET OFF ME! I NEED TO TEACH THIS IDIOT NOT TO MESS WITH ME!” Inosuke pushes Zenitsu off him pretty harshly that Zenitsu even yelps. But he doesn’t care. He glares at Tanjiro. “Inosuke! C-Calm down! I was just- AGH!” He is tackled by Inosuke. Zenitsu immediately screams.

“TANJIROOOOOO! NOOOOOO!! DONT HURT-…Huh?…” As he tries to defend Tanjiro he realizes something… Tanjiros Hands are pinned down by Inosuke, Inosuke uses his free hand to tickle Tanjiros neck and armpits. Inosuke….is tickling him?…Zenitsu just watches with a confused look and raised eyebrow while Tanjiro is dying of laughter.

“AHAHAHA! INOSUKE- HAHAHA PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAP!!! IM SORRY! AHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughed hysterically as Inosuke got his worst spots tickled.

“Oh your sorry? Well I’m not stopping! This is what you get. Mwahaha! Die, die, die!” Inosuke tickles very fast and this just makes poor Tanjiro laugh even more hysterically. His laugh is so adorable!

“ZENITSUUU! HELP! *snort* AHAHAHA! ME! HAHAHAHA” he cries out. Zenitsu thinks about it for a second…Before joining Inosuke and tickling Tanjiro too. He tickles his sides and stomach making him squeal.

“Sorry, Tanjiro…But I’m honestly REALLY enjoying your laugh!” He chuckled.

“That’s right! He’s on team Inosuke! We are gonna tickle the life out of you. HIYAAA!” He tickles Tanjiro EVEN faster! While Zenitsu focuses on tickling his sides and stomach. Tanjiro can’t even breath anymore due to how much it tickles! But…Thankfully…After 3 more minutes of tickles…They let him go. Poor Tanjiro is breathing heavily.

“You ok?” Zenitsu helps Tanjiro sit up.

“Yes…I just…am out of…breath…” He breathes heavily and chuckles with Zenitsu.

“We are still friends right?…” He asks worried.

“Of course! Of course! Don’t you worry. :D”

“HAH! Your pathetic! Can’t even handle a few tickling?!” Inosuke wiggles his fingers.

“Oh shut up! Leave him be!”

“I’m not talking to you, noisy!” He rolls his eyes. While Zenitsu suddenly has an idea.

“Hey Inosuke…Your not ticklish are you?! I know you aren’t pathetic.” Zenitsu gives him a playful smirk.

“Well, of course not!…Tsk…” He seems to be avoiding eye contact.

“Inosuke, why are you avoiding eye contact?!” He chuckles. Tanjiro seems to find Inosukes reaction funny. It’s clear he is lying.

“Be quiet, Monjiro! I’m just focusing on something else!” Inosuke seems to be having a tiny bit of blush on his face. Both Zenitsu and Tanjiro laugh at this.

“Sure buddy…Sure…” Zenitsu smirks more.

“Everyone is ticklish! There is no need to be embarrassed by it, Inosuke!” He chuckles some more and tries to reassure him.

“Shut up! Shut up! I’m not ticklish! I am not weak, hmph!” He makes a pouty face and looks the other way crossing his arms. Tanjiro giggles at his reaction while Zenitsu sneaks up behind him and starts to tickle his ribs. “H-HEY! HAHA WHAHAHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING, IDIOT? HAHA!!” He tries pulling away from Zenitsu. By trying to punch him and push him away but nothing is working.

“You are ticklish! I knew it! Tickle tickle tickle! Guess your not the big strong man you are huh?!” He moves to his armpits. Making Inosuke laugh EVEN harder. His laugh is werid….But at the same time goofy!

“YOU DUMB@SS!! AHAHAHA! I HATE YOU SOHOHO MUCH! GAHAHAHAHA! *snort* HAHAHA!!” Inosuke is now on the floor trying to fight Zenitsu off. And it seems to be working. Zenitsu quickly panics and tries yelling for Tanjiro.

“TANJIRO!! HELP ME DEFEAT HIM! I CANT DO IT BY MYSELF AHHHH!” He’s now pinned down by Inosuke.

“Sorry, Zenitsu…But since you helped Inosuke instead of helping me…Your on your own this time!” He gives a slight smirk.

“WHATTT?? TANJIRO PLEASEEE! I DONT WANNA SUFFER!” He whined.

“HAH! YOU HEARD HIM! YOUR SO DEAD!!” Inosuke tries to pin his arms down. But Zenitsu isn’t making it easy. He keeps wiggling and trying to kick him.

“OI! QUIT MOVING AROUND! OR IL DO THIS THE HARD WAY!” Inosuke threatened him. He was getting so mad that Zenitsu wouldn’t stop moving.

“Don’t worry! Il help you, Inosuke.” Tanjiro grabs Zenitsu arms and pins them down, While Inosuke managed to pin his legs down too.

“I’m still gonna do this the hard way! So you better be ready!”

“W-Wait! No please! I promise Il stop moving just don’t do it the hard way!” He really began to panic. He couldn’t wait for what Inosuke was about to do. Inosuke tries moving the clothes the old lady offered them to expose his bare belly only. When he saw Inosuke take a deep breath…He knew it was absolutely over for him.

“NO NO NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! NOOO!” He yelled in panic.

“THIS IS FOR TRYING TO ATTACK ME, YOU LITTLE IDIOT!!” Before you know it. Inosuke faceplants into his stomach and starts to give him massive aggressive raspberries. Making Zenitsu Squeak like a mouse. While Tanjiro tickles under his chin and neck.

“PPPPPBBBBTBTBT! PBBBBBTBTBTFT! PBTBTBTBBBBBB! PBTBTBTBBBBFT! PBBBBBFT!” Inosuke blows more and more raspberries.

“AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA *squeal* IT TICKLES TOO MUCH- BAHAHAHA! TANJIRO! INOSUKE! STAHAHAP! Zenitsu was laughing so so much! He kinda sounded like a squeaky toy!

“Haha! This is what you get, Zenitsu! Your gonna have to survive this!” He chuckles as Inosuke still is giving him raspberries. Zenitsu kicks and squirms to be let free, but it’s no use. Inosuke seems to stop after the 10th raspberry. Letting Zenitsu catch his breath. But after a minute Inosuke starts tickling his belly button, making him laugh hysterically again.

“NOHOHOOOOO! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! HAHAHA AHAHAHA!” He shakes his head and starts going crazy. Tanjiro just chuckled and continues tickling him. Moving to tickle behind the ears, Zenitsu is just dying at this point.

“Zenitsu, Your laugh is so contagious that it’s making me laugh aswell!” He chuckles.

“Il stop if you tell me I’m better then you!” Inosuke gives Zenitsu a big annoying smirk.

“NEVER! AHAHAHA! HAHA!!” He squealed.

“Then, you will suffer! Mwahaha!” The 2 of them continue to tickle him. Zenitsu starts running out of breath, so he has no choice but to surrender.

“OK OK! I ADMIT IT! YOU ARE STRONGER THEN ME! VERY STRONG HAHA!”

“That’s what i like to hear! Hah!” He gives Zenitsu a few pats on the stomach then let’s him go.

“Are you alright, Zenitsu?” He seems worried if he went too far with the tickling. Tanjiro gives Zenitsu a pat on the shoulder.

“I…Guess…” He sits up as he managed to catch his breath. Tanjiro then pulls them both close to him.

“Alright…To make sure you 2 are getting along now. Give each other a hug!” He smiles at them.

“WHAT?!”

“But what if he crushes me?!”

“Zenitsu…Inosuke…Cmon! If you guys hug and apologize to each other. Il make sure to reward you both with your favorite food!” Tanjiro gives them both a sweet smile trying to make them get along. Zenitsu managed to hug Inosuke first.

“*sigh* I’m…Sorry for fighting with you…” he mumbled annoyed but ATLEAST he apologized!

“It’s…Err…Fine! Whatever…Im S…or….ry” Inosuke said it annoyed too. He even had trouble saying the word, but he honestly just wanted the food. He started to squeeze him harder, but Zenitsu tried not to make a sound despite how tight the hug is now.

“Thank you both! I’m glad you apologized to each other! Now…I want you both to try not to argue so much, can you do that for me, please?”

“Fine…” Both of them said at the same time still with a annoyed tone. But Tanjiro ignored it and just smiled back at them.

#demon slayer #tickle monster Inosuke >:) #Demon slayer tickles #zenitsu agatsuma #inosuke hashibira #tanjiro kamado #the besties🫶🏽 #playful tickles #besties being silly.

[niel-trbl]

Did You Just...?

strangers to friends to what(?)PENOMECO

note: tbh wasn’t expecting anyone to be interested in reading this little thing but it got quite a bit of notes so i decided to post it!! i actually had this written out the day i had the dream so it’s been sitting the drafts for a bit. hope you enjoy reading this one! also, penomeco is the loml pls support him!

Part Two | Part Three

you were on Yu Huiyeol’s Sketchbook to promote a song that you collaborated with Zico, otherwise known to you as Jiho, who happened to be one of your closest friends

it had always been a dream of yours to be part of the show and now thanks to him, you were able to be there!!

not just that, you were also extremely thankful to Jiho for helping you to get out of the rut you were stuck in for a while and got you to start making music again

so if he ever asks you to do anything, you would always be down for it

“i know you hang out together with fanxychild but i heard from the writers that you have yet to properly meet one of your crew members,” he asked

even before you could reply, Jiho started laughing

“they always join us to eat but the moment this person comes, they disappear,” he teased you and you knew exactly who he was talking about

the crowd suddenly started clapping and cheering loudly

when you turned around, your eyes widened at the sight of the surprise guest who was entering the stage

it was none other than PENOMECO, otherwise known as Jung Dongwook to Jiho

you knew something was up when you heard that it was a special episode with surprise guests but you didn’t expect Jiho to do it to this extent

you’re a really shy person but had no problem meeting the rest of the crew like Hyoseob and Seunghyun, but when it came to Dongwook, you can’t seem to approach him the same way

before you knew of him as Dongwook, you were (still am) a big fan of his music and had admired him for the longest time

the thought of meeting him made you feel anxious, let alone getting acquainted with him

(forreal i honestly feel this way, like what do i even say or do? like last year i saw one of my fav local acts and when my friend decided to talk to them, i just kept quiet)

but from the looks of the situation right now, you can’t run away from it and have to face the music

“why are you hiding behind Zico? Come and sit here with us,” the host called you back

you slowly got to your seat but avoided looking at Dongwook, knowing that just one glance at him and your face will go red

“im really shy right now,” you quickly buried your face in your hands

you understood the intention of the situation but it was just too overwhelming for you

while Jiho and Yu Huiyeol explained to Dongwook how you admired him alot and how it’s hard for you to approach him, you noticed how shy he got

“why don’t you guys shake hands and pose for a screenshot?” Jiho suggested

that sneaky little bastard

but then again, like you said, what Jiho asks, you do it, even if your heart was racing like crazy at the time

right after the recording session, all of you went out for dinner and this time you tried to force yourself not to disappear

and it was not too bad

you learnt that Dongwook too was very shy which was why he couldn’t approached you either

and that he was a fan of your stuff too!!

the rest of the crew and your mutual friends were so happy like FINALLY Y’ALL ARE ACQUAINTED

they’ve been wanting y’all to meet for the longest time because they know you will click with one another

fast forward to some time later, you and Dongwook are probably the closest out of everyone

you hung out together a lot, sometimes you would join each other’s lives just to annoy the other

you even attended his album launch party recently to support and tease him

(can’t believe he sold the perfume and necklace during the launch!!! i wonder what it smells like)

it was new year’s eve that day

everyone was busy with their own plans or was overseas so you decided to countdown to the new year from your studio

you got a little bored after awhile then decided to go on IG live to talk to your fans

while you were talking, you noticed Dongwook’s comment “don’t you have friends?”

“Dongwook aren’t you my friend? i still find it funny that we were so awkward and shy around one another back then,”

“you’re not my friend kekekekeke” he replied

“JUNG DONGWOOK ISTG”

suddenly the front door chimed, signalling that someone was entering

“look who it is! the one who said he isn’t my friend!” you introduced Dongwook on the live

after counting down to the new year, you ended the live, played a movie on netflix and drank a little (or a lot)

both of you were lightweights so the rest of the night/morning ended up being a blur

the moment you opened your eyes, it was already bright

morning or noon? you can no longer tell the difference

you noticed that you had slept on the couch with Dongwook on the other side, with the screen still on, displaying a message would you like to continue watching?

you dragged yourself to the washroom to freshen up, since you remembered you were gonna meet up with Jiho and some friends to grab a quick meal

the moment you looked at the mirror, you screamed

your lipstick from last night was smudged all over and there were hints of what looked like hickeys on your neck

did you and Dongwook... it can’t be right, right?

“hey is everything okay?” you heard him groggily asked

you stepped out of the washroom carefully and only noticing now that his jacket, your hoodie, the blanket and pillows were scattered around the studio

“why did you scream? omg you really look horrible. see i told you this is what happens if you dont remove your makeup before you sleep,”

you quickly shoved your phone’s front camera to his face

“wait what are you- why is... is this your lipstick? why do i- wait, did we?” he started observing the marks on him

“i dont know. did we? i don’t remember anything from last night,”

“neither did i! well we still have our own clothes on and i guess we just-”

“NO don’t say it!”

“don’t say what?” both of you screamed when you heard the third voice

when you turned, you see a confused Jiho, trying to make sense of the situation that he was looking at

“what happened? wait, did you-”

“we can explain!” both of you said at the same time

#khh scenario #khh scenarios #khh #khiphop scenario #khiphop scenarios #khiphop #fanxy child scenario #fanxy child scenarios #fanxy child #penomeco scenario #penomeco scenarios #penomeco #penomadeincorea #jung dongwook

[unicornninjabitch]

Me to my therapist: No I’ve been doing really well :)

Me to strangers on the internet who dont give a fuck: Yo guess who’s having a depressive episode?! It’s me bitches

Here’s a secret, I’m a shitty person. I’ve hurt people that no amount of apologies could help. I wish I could’ve ended somethings on better terms than I did and I wish I could erase myself from some people’s lives cause all I did was fuck them over. I know this and I like to think if given the opportunity I could give them the apology they deserve cause, believe it or not, I’m a fucking disaster. I don’t want to sound like an Edgelord™, but I really am a fucking mess. I could blame the childhood I had or my own issues and you know those might be part of it, but I also know I’m basically always smashing my self-destruct button. I know I run from good things cause for so long my life motto was “Leave before you’re left” cause everyone left. My dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, best friends, my mom, exes, everyone left me behind at some point. For years I refused to call anyone my best friend because they all disappeared. Hell one of them left cause I didn’t have feelings for him and I blamed my fucking self. I told myself for months “If you just pretended you could’ve liked him” like that would be fair to either of us. For fucks sake even my middle school relationships I ended when they were good because I was terrified I’d get hurt. The only relationship I didn’t fucking run from was the one where I got cheated on like 3 times cause I was a dumbass freshman who thought some boy really changed for me. For gods sake I still get put on edge when people say nice things about me cause for so long nice things always came with a but or some kinda favor that needed to get done. I don't even ask my family to help me with a bunch of things cause that meant I owed them and owing people was a place I didn’t ever want to be (especially financially)

I think what it comes down to might be I’m scared to let myself be happy cause being happy was always followed by something terrible following it like if I stay alone and depressed then I can’t ever be let down. I know that’s a terrible way to approach life and it’s not healthy and I wish I could say I’m working on it, but I don’t know how to take that out of me. I think I’ve always been that way though, well at least a good portion of my life. I thought being abandoned was normal, but then I had friends and they would talk about their families. Their families were fucking great, they had their parents and the biggest complaint was their curfew or how they always had to sit down together to eat and a HUGE part of me kinda hated them. They had no idea what I would have gave for that, for a happy family, a normal family that were there for each other and consistent, for parents who didn’t start screaming the second they made eye contact. Here they were with the nerve to complain and I know I didn’t know everything about their home lives but it didn’t stop me from being angry or sad or deflecting every question about my family. And this shit all went down before my depression really started up can you believe that?! Like at least 2 years before and it just got fucking worse. I got sadder and angrier as the years went on cause my parents fought more (and i swore a divorce wouldve helped this but nope) and they still complained about curfews and sleepovers and dinners and what was baby Alex up to? Baby Alex was trying to keep a broken house from completely shattering and working and playing the messenger and being the middle man and parenting and being too grown up for a fucking 12 year old, so I stayed away from everyone and I delt with everything by taking it on myself. It wasn’t good, I’d hit myself and skip meals thinking if I got skinny I’d be pretty and refusing to sleep and cutting up my wrist and I probably did other dumb shit too.

Man and 8th grade was just the start of my eating issues, actually maybe it was 4th, but whatever. Okay so the 4th grade parts more one kid called me fat so I swore off breakfast and to this day I can’t eat till I’ve been awake for at least 2 hours. Then 8th grade there were days I’d only eat chips for lunch, but 9th grade was by far the worst. Okay 9th grade picture this you’ve been called fat since basically 4th grade and a lot of your 8th grade year your dad keeps saying “Oh you should eat better. You need to be more active” shit like that and you keep going on “family diets” plus the everyday self hate of being a teenager and society's beauty standards you cant meet. One day in the beginning of 9th grade I was really hating my body so I decided I’d go on a diet, so of course I downloaded an app and stared at pictures of skinny people with hip bones poking out and thigh gaps. However this app wasn’t worried about exercise or healthy food, but instead just calorie intake (see the problem already?) I thought if I keep the calorie intake below what the app says I lose more weight and faster. My daily eating schedule was a 90 calorie gatorade, half of a pb&j, half a carton of chocolate milk, and the smallest portion of dinner I could get (sometime with lunch I’d eat exctly 6 fries), but I mostly drank diet green tea and ice water. Each week I gave myself one “cheat day” where I ate whatever the fuck I wanted, but even then I tried to limit myself. I got called anorexic a lot at lunch because of how carefully I cut my food and pushed the remainder away from me. It was mostly kids joking and I mostly laughed it off or flipped them off cause I didn’t care they were joking. Until one day a friend offered me half his gatorade, so I took it drank some and put into the app how much I drank to which he said “Holy shit you really count your calories?” so I shrugged him off just like so what it’s not like I’m doing anything dangerous. Now mind you somedays my calorie intake was down to like 500 and the average for me at that time was like 1000 maybe (i dont remember its been a long time but it wasnt healthy). What stopped this you ask? Well I was talking to my mom one day and I was proud cause I lost like 15 pounds and a friends mom noticed (she asked if I was sick) and I noticed and I was just really proud, but my mom just said I was like obsessed, which looking back I was but at that time I was so pissed cause I didnt think I was. Then I stopped for a little, but it started up once I noticed I was gaining weight back. Then my mom had a miscarriage and got really depressed so she stayed with her boyfriend at the time who lived like 6 hours away. Food became like a huge thing, I ate a lot of junk food everyday cause I felt guilty. At that time me and my mom were butting heads a lot for whatever reasons and I was in the room with her when she learned the baby’s heartbeat stopped. I of course told her I was okay and didnt cry cause I wanted to be strong for her since she wa a mess, but I was like totally numb inside and totally blamed myself. (Now I logically know it wasnt my fault but I still feel like it was somehow if that makes sense?) Now my moms gone for the first time in my life, I’m with my dad who at this point I still can’t stand, my brothers are fighting a lot, I’m still distancing myself from friends, I’m dating a total douchebag, and it was just a lot for me, so I just constantly comfort ate cause I didn’t know how to talk about these issues to anyone.

Now back track to me saying I’m s hitty person, I was dating this guy and I loved him, I really dd, but I was scared. My last relationship was awful and bad and no one deserves that kind of relationship, but nonetheless I start dating this guy and it wasn’t healthy, I dont think. We were on and off for a while,I picked fights cause I was always told fightings normal in relationships, but we didn’t ever fight and I thought relationship fights were screaming and crying and slamming doors and shit like that cause that’s all I knew. Eventually we were together straight for about 6 months (I think all together it was about 9 months) and they were good for the most part, we may have moved too fast and planned forever too soon, but we were happy and didn’t care cause we loved each other. Then we broke up for good and I regretted it for a long time and we still talked convinced we could be friends after swearing we’d get married and other shit, but it didn’t work that way, so after about a year of us talking to each other scared to let go and move on and shit we finally said what we’re doing isnt good and we have to go separate ways. I was still miserable for awhile cause a part of me still loved him and maybe a part of me always will, but we unfollowed each other on everything and I think for myself I blocked him to make sure I didn’t do anything dumb.

After I like healed or whatever I dated this girl, she was fucking awesome, cute as hell, funny, just great and we were together not long but I had strong feelngs for her, but the Gender Crisis™ came and I didn’t know how to tell her what was going on so I told her I had some shit to figure out and we broke up and I immediately blocked her everywhere cause I didn’t want to hurt her like I did with that guy,and maybe it was dumb to do it that way, but I didn’t know how else to do it.

The moral of this is I’m awful, I do this shit at least once every summer, and idk how to talk about my issues in any other way than to word vomit to strangers on the internet.

#personal #tw self hate #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #(not really but to be safe) #i talk about my issues with relationships #to both humans and food #someday youll know my whole backstory