#i disappear for months at a time. i come back to post jeremy clips. i disappear again. the cycle continues

[barbara-dunkelbabe]

"Get them! Get them, Darryl!" "What'd I miss?"

(April 27th, 2021)

#jeremy dooley #kat dooley #dooleynotedgaming #i disappear for months at a time. i come back to post jeremy clips. i disappear again. the cycle continues #i have another from part 3. mayhaps more i'm still watching #video #*video

[killjoyhistoryarchive]

“Conventional Weapons” and the Rocky Road to “Danger Days”

In 2009, My Chemical Romance was buzzing with activity. The band performed several shows and festivals (including Summer Sonic in Japan), Gerard and Mikey Way attended San Diego Comic Con, and The Umbrella Academy was named one of Amazon’s top comics of 2009. Ray Toro held a Whopper eating contest on the official MCR website (no joke), while a certain comic series written by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon was announced in August. And at a show at the Roxy in Los Angeles, MCR performed three new songs from their upcoming album.

But while their next album seemed easily slated for an early 2010 release, MCR was about to hit a series of hurdles that would leave them with a scrapped album, a lost drummer, and a totally new outlook on where their music was headed.

On July 31st, 2009, MCR performed a set at the Roxy that included three new songs–“Kiss The Ring,” “The Drugs,” and “Death Before Disco.” Gerard was enthusiastic about the new tracks, even telling Rolling Stone that “Death Before Disco” was “the greatest song we’ve ever written.” Videos of the tracks soon appeared online, where fans eagerly devoured what they thought would be the follow-up to 2006’s The Black Parade.

As the days and weeks went on, the media blitz kicked into high-gear. While Ray Toro posted short studio clips on MCR’s website, the band gave several interviews where they gushed about producer Brendan O'Brien, discussed their new stripped-down style, and claimed that this would be their best record yet. In an interview with MTV, Gerard described the still-untitled album as a “true love letter to rock and roll,” adding:

“There’s something about being an American rock-and-roll band that we’ve kind of grown into and we’re very proud of. And I think that’s what we’re celebrating with this record. There’s no agenda, there’s no mission; it’s just about rock and roll.”

Meanwhile, Gerard Way and close friend Shaun Simon had another surprise in store: a comic series called "Killjoys.” Dark Horse Comics announced the release at San Diego Comic Con. Jeremy Atkins, the Dark Horse Director of Public Relations, described “Killjoys” as “a psychedelic rock-and-roll road trip adventure geared toward both fans of The Umbrella Academy and My Chemical Romance.” But not much else was said about the comic, as MCR’s upcoming album had become Gerard’s top priority.

As the album drew closer to completion, MCR gave fans more glimpses of what lay in store. They shared the titles of various tracks, including “Still Alive,” “Trans Am,” “Hail To The King,” “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back," “L.A. Heavy,” "The Only Hope For Me Is You,” and “Black Dragon Fighting Society.” They cited a variety of influences, including Queen, Judas Priest, Bruce Springsteen, The Killers, and Blade Runner. By all accounts, this was going to be MCR’s defining album.

In December, MCR previewed seven tracks for SPIN magazine. A month later, in January of 2010, the album–which was still untitled–was rumored to be released on March 30th. As they continued to rework the songs, they realized that the stripped-down sound wasn’t working. As NME reported in January:

Things turned around with a song called “Trans Am,” now renamed "Bullet Proof Heart,” the likely first single. And perversely, they did it by returning to fiction. Broadly, it’s about a boy in New Jersey, dressed in a Judas Priest T-shirt, called Johnny. And a girl called Jenny who might be his girlfriend, but who also (honk the pop fact sirens!) might also be the missing girl from “Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers.

But in the same interview, Gerard restated that the album would give "the purest, best version of the band you could ever hope for.” And in early February, MCR finally started to wrap up production, telling Big Cheese that the album would probably be released in spring or summer.

“Killjoys” also looked promising–back in January, Scott Allie had reported in a blog post that Shaun Simon and Becky Cloonan were ready to get started. Once Gerard wrapped up the album and finished working on the Umbrella Academy movie screenplay, it seemed like he’d be ready to dive in.

But February was also when the band publicly stumbled for the first time.

Before the Big Cheese interview, MCR had abruptly cancelled their appearance at the Soundwave festival in Australia. In a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank claimed that Gerard was having voice problems (he jokingly implied that it was due to coffee and cigarettes) and required treatment to make a full recovery.

Fans were disappointed, but most understood that it couldn’t be helped. But a month later, the fandom received another shock: MCR’s drummer Bob Bryar had departed the band. In another blog post, Frank told fans:

As of 4 weeks ago, My Chemical Romance and Bob Bryar parted ways. This was a painful decision for all of us to make and was not taken lightly. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors and expect you all to do the same. We also wanted to give you all a quick heads up on how the record is progressing. We have been writing some very powerful new songs so this week the four of us entered the studio once again, and what has been ending up on tape each night is some of the most exciting and honest work we have ever created.

The fandom was stunned. Clearly, MCR had been experiencing some behind-the-scenes turmoil, suggesting that the process wasn’t going as smoothly as fans had thought. While it wasn’t known at the time, they also parted ways with producer Brendan O'Brien, who had been hired specifically to channel their raw, back-to-basics sound. Where would MCR go from here? And when would fans hear the latest album–which was apparently undergoing rewrites once again?

It wasn’t until late 2010 that fans would finally learn what had happened to this unreleased album.

This moment, says frontman Gerard Way, looking back on what went wrong, “was the hardest part”. Guitarist Ray Toro was “home dealing with some family things”, leaving Way, his bassist brother Mikey, and guitarist Frank Iero alone in the mixing studio. “The sinking feeling was really starting to become loud that it wasn’t right - that the record wasn’t finished, I couldn’t even put them in a track order … "Thinking about it now, it’s kind of upsetting, because I just felt so lost,” Gerard says.

This was discussed in an interview with Herald Sun, where they talked about the process of starting again after the departure of their drummer and producer. Speaking to Music Radar, Ray Toro talked about the struggles the band had with original producer Brendan O'Brien, admitting that it hadn’t gone as well as they once thought:

“He was really trying; he did the best he could with us. He knew things weren’t clicking, and he’d try to rally us. I remember he said, ‘Hey, on some songs, I’d love to hear you do what you did on The Black Parade.’ Because there wasn’t any of the harmonized guitar parts or the stacking that I usually do. He was trying to get us to make one record, and we wanted to make something totally different.

Musically, we wanted to go back to our basement. But just because we wanted to do something different didn’t make it easy. In many ways, we felt as though we were holding ourselves back creatively. We were going through the motions. Some of the songs were good, but we weren’t happy with all of them.”

Needing a break, Gerard took a vacation to the desert that surrounded Los Angeles. There, as he told Terminal 5, he realized “I had started the band after 9/11 when I hated art. Black Parade had been about hiding and punishment. I couldn’t tell the truth so I’d talk about cancer instead. I had to put on a mask to show people who I really was. But now it was time to own it. To be who I was before this band started. And I had something in my back pocket: this song, ‘Na Na Na.’”

Reunited with producer Rob Cavallo, who had worked on The Black Parade, the band kicked things off with “Na Na Na.” Gerard and Shaun Simon’s comic “Killjoys,” once a separate side project that had nothing to do with the band, suddenly became the concept that they formed the album around. Fueled by fresh creative energy, the band wrote and re-wrote tracks, came up with concepts and characters like Dr. Death Defying, and shredded the limitations that had confined them. At one point, Gerard turned to his brother Mikey and said “Danger Days, here we come again!”

Not everything from the previous record was scrapped. “Trans Am” became “Bulletproof Heart”; “Death Before Disco” became “Party Poison.” A few new versions of old tracks appeared on the record, as well as the Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP that came later. But MCR’s fourth album had gone from a rock and roll record that deliberately avoided ambitious storylines, to a vividly realized concept album that invited fans into the world of post-apocalyptic California. In many ways, it was the opposite of what they had originally planned. And it seemed to be exactly what they had been looking for.

During this time, Frank snapped in-studio photos that he sold on MCR’s official website, offering one-of-a-kind peeks into the recording process. In March, Mikey Way stated in a blog post that “One day you will wake up, and nothing will ever be the same again, but it’ll feel like an old friend.” He was talking about upcoming changes to the MCR website, but in a way that statement reflected the band’s process at the time–they had completely reinvented themselves, and yet there was still a certain familiarity in the old tracks they had revamped.

The band completed the album with fresh energy, offering sporadic updates in the coming months. Fans waited with some skepticism to see what MCR had in store. And finally, one day in early September, MCR’s website disappeared and was replaced with a mysterious transmitter. The Danger Days era had begun.

But was the scrapped album hidden away, never to be heard again? Not quite.

In 2012, in a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank talked about the feelings of depression that he had faced after The Black Parade. He felt like MCR had done it all, leaving them with nothing left to accomplish. In November 2008, Gerard called him up to talk about the band. As new ideas took shape, they prepared to start recording the album that would eventually be scrapped after months of work.

Frank pointed out that while the band had limited themselves during the recording of this album, the songs weren’t inherently bad–in fact, some of them were among his favorites that the band had produced. As time passed, he developed a greater appreciation for the tracks. And when the band met up and listened to those songs, they decided to release a selection of tracks to the public–two tracks a month for the next five months, for a total of ten.

After all this time, the album finally had a title: Conventional Weapons. Tracks included “Kiss The Ring,” “The World Is Ugly,” “Surrender The Night,” and the fan-favorite “The Light Behind Your Eyes.” Listening to the tracks, it was clear that MCR had aimed for a rock album with a pure American sound–no ambitious concepts or storylines, just a set of killer tracks. Whether they succeeded is up to the listener to decide, but they provided some insight into what came before Danger Days.

Due to its unconventional release, and the fact that the album was a series of random tracks and not a finished product, Conventional Weapons is not considered an “official” MCR album. But while Danger Days was the final album, Conventional Weapons was the final release before MCR broke up in 2013. Since the split, the release of CW has caused many fans to wonder–will My Chemical Romance’s fifth (and unreleased) album ever be shared in a similar fashion? Or will it be locked away forever, like the other CW tracks that were never released?

Only time will tell. But for now, Conventional Weapons serves as an intriguing part of MCR’s history–a time when the band set out to make one type of album, and ended up making the complete opposite.

(Picture credits: 1 2 3. Other in-studio photos by Frank Iero.)

[Originally published 07.09.2017]

#my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #mikey way #ray toro #frank iero #conventional weapons #articles #music #behind the scenes #na na na #bulletproof heart #party poison (song) #killjoyhistory #reuploads

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: EDITORIAL: Movies and the 9/11 effect

(Image: pathtoparadise.com)

EIGHTH EDITION: UPDATED SEPTEMBER 11, 2019– In an update to my annual editorial (after the original post on the 10th anniversary in 2011), I’ve got new movie inclusions in several sections, including the most recent section of faded and relaxed sensitivity in films.  I plan to make this an annual post and study for at least until the 20th anniversary in 2021.  (All poster images are courtesy of IMPAwards.com)

Never forget.  There’s no doubt that every American over the age of 25 won’t soon forget where they were 18 years ago at 8:46AM on September 11, 2001.  The world and our American lifestyle changed forever that day in more ways that we can measure.  I know movies and cinema are trivial pieces of entertainment compared to the more important things in life, but movies have always been two-hour vacations and therapy sessions from life, even in the face of immense tragedy.  Sometimes, we need movies to inspire us and help us remember the good in things, while still being entertained.  In seventeen years, they too have changed.

I’m here for an editorial research piece on the anniversary of 9/11 to showcase a few movies, both serious and not-so-serious, that speak to that day whether as a tribute, remembrance, or example of how life has changed since that fateful day.  Enjoy!

MOVIES THAT WERE OPENING THAT FRIDAY EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO

Call this a time capsule, but these were the notable movies that opened Friday, September 7, 2001 and Friday, September 14, 2001, the two Fridays surrounding 9/11.  Such a different time, huh?  Needless to say, few people were in the mood for a movie in those first weeks and the fall 2001 box office took quite a hit until the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone showed up in November 2001, followed by Ocean’s Eleven and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring that December.

The Musketeer  (September 7th)

Soul Survivors  (September 7th)

Rock Star  (September 7th)

Hardball  (September 14th)

The Glass House  (September 14th)

All were box office bombs at the time.  The Musketeer garnered a good bit of overseas earnings and Hardball got some of the best reviews of Keanu Reeves’s post-Matrix career and grew to be a DVD hit.  Still, talk about bad timing.

EXAMPLES OF 2001-2002 MOVIES CHANGED BECAUSE OF 9/11

Spider-Man— Many of you may remember seeing this teaser for the big comic book blockbuster before it was pulled post-9/11. (New remastered video in 2019)

Donnie Darko— Suggested by Feelin’ Film Facebook Discussion Group contributor Josh Powers. Released months before 9/11, few remember how much this film was somewhat buried and forced to become an underground cult favorite due to a pivotal moment involving a horrific plane crash.

Lilo and Stitch— See a side-by-side video clip of differences in Imgur.  The trivia notes behind it are explained on IMDb.  

Collateral Damage— The Arnold Schwarzenegger terrorism movie had its release date bumped and terrorist overtones mellowed down.  (trailer)

City by the Sea— The production on this Robert DeNiro/James Franco thriller was moved from New York to Los Angeles in July 2001, dodging the terrorism attacks that would have threatened their home Tribeca studios.  (trailer)

Sidewalks of New York–– Edward Burns intermingled love story movie was bumped to November and had to have its posters changed.  See right here on the left for an example.  (trailer)

Men in Black II— The original scripted ending of the movie was scripted to have the World Trade Center towers open up to release a barrage of UFOs.  (trailer)

Serendipity and Zoolander— Both movies had shots of the WTC digitally removed from the skylines of their finished films before they hit theaters that fall.

The Time Machine— Had its December 2001 release bumped to March because of a potentially sensitive scene of meteor shower over New York (which it cut).  (trailer)

Big Trouble— It too had its nuclear bomb-centered plot cause a release delay well into 2002.  The delay didn’t help this already awful movie.  (trailer)

MOVIES ABOUT 9/11 ITSELF

September 11  (2002)– International directors from around the world, including Ken Loach, Mira Nair, and future Oscar winner Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, made a two-hour anthology of short films showing creative expressions of other cultures and their reactions to the tragedy. 

United 93  (2006)– Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum director Paul Greengrass took an unknown cast and directed a harrowing real-time account of the flight that fought back.  Hard to watch, but undeniably powerful without exploiting the tragedy.  (trailer)

World Trade Center  (2006)– Conspiracy specialist Oliver Stone turns off the urge to dig into his usual musings and delivers an incredibly humble, respectful, and understated (words that hardly ever describe an Oliver Stone movie) true story of the last two men (Nicolas Cage and Michael Pena) rescued alive at Ground Zero.  Worth every moment to see and a great tribute to the first responders and their families.  (trailer)

9/11  (2017)– I think we all knew a day would come where some hack film was going to come around and exploit the tragedy that is the 2001 terrorist attacks.  That award goes to Charlie Sheen, Whoopi Goldberg, and director Martin Guigui’s straight-to-VOD trash heap.  Sheen, a noted conspiracy theorist on 9/11, took it upon himself to make a glamour project stepping on history.  Do not waste your time with this film.

MOVIES WITH PROMINENT 9/11 CONNECTIONS

The Guys  (2002)– One of the first reactionary films to 9/11 came from Focus Features in 2002 and starred Anthony LaPaglia and Sigourney Weaver.  Based on Anne Nelson’s heartfelt play, LaPaglia plays a fire captain who lost eight men on 9/11 and Weaver plays the editor who helps him write eulogies for the fallen.  The film is only available on disc from Amazon.  (trailer)

WTC View  (2005)– Gallows humor bubbles to the surface in this off-kilter indie romance from Brian Sloan about a SoHo man who placed an ad to find a new roommate and September 10th and now lives through a more difficult and trying landscape.  (trailer)

Reign Over Me  (2007)– In a rare dramatic turn, Adam Sandler plays a fictional wayward man who lost his wife and daughters on 9/11 and tailspins through life fiver years later when an old college friend (Don Cheadle) tries to help keep him from being committed to a psychiatric care.  (trailer)

Remember Me  (2010)– Billed as a coming-of-age film starring Twilight star Robert Pattinson, it features a fictitious family affected by the tragedy, including the fall of the WTC.  Most critics found the 9/11 connections exploitative and offensive.  (trailer)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close  (2011)– Speaking of exploitative, the Tom Hanks/Sandra Bullock Oscar nominee from this past year definitely rubbed more than a few audiences the wrong way in using 9/11 as a backdrop to a fictional family tragedy.  Critics (including this one) clamored that if you’re going to bring 9/11 to the big screen, use a real story.  (trailer)  (my full review)

September Morning  (2017)– Independent writer/director Ryan Frost crafted a small drama about five college freshman staying up all night after 9/11 weighing the impact it will have on their present and future.  The film won a youth jury award at the Rhode Island International Film Festival.  (trailer)

MOVIES ABOUT THE WAR ON TERROR

In the decade since September 11, 2011, our largest response as a nation to the terrorism of that day has been a pair of wars overseas in the countries of Iraq and Afghanistan.  The “war on terror” has quickly grown into a ripe orchard for possible movie storylines.

Home of the Brave  (2006)–Rocky producer Irwin Winkler earns the credit for the first mainstream Hollywood movie depicting the Iraqi War and the initial soldiers returning home to re-acclimate to society.  Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, and Jessica Biel.  (trailer)

The Hurt Locker  (2008)– Of course, the best-of-the-best is the 2009 Best Picture winner from Kathryn Bigelow starring Jeremy Renner as a driven, yet dark Iraqi bomb specialist.  Its quality needs no introduction.  (trailer)

Grace is Gone  (2007)– In the Audience Award winner of the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, typical gender roles are reversed when John Cusack plays a homefront father (in my opinion, the best he’s ever acted) who has to find the best way to tell his two daughters that their soldier mother was killed in Iraq.  This movie is “guy-cry” level brilliant.  (trailer)

Rendition  (2007)– Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, and Meryl Streep get together for a movie calling out the wrongs of detainment, interrogation, and torture.  (trailer)

The Kingdom  (2007)– Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman investigate a bombing and throw down in the streets of Riyadh.  (trailer)

Lions for Lambs  (2007)– Robert Redford delivers a three point-of-view discourse on U.S. war affairs before home and abroad with the help of Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep.  (trailer)

In the Valley of Elah  (2007)– Crash director Paul Haggis leads Tommy Lee Jones (in an amazing Oscar-nominated performance) and Susan Sarandon as parents investigating with a local detective (Charlize Theron) the disappearance of their AWOL son returning home from Iraq.  (trailer)

Body of Lies  (2008)– Ridley Scott’s fictional take on the CIA’s involvement in preventing Jordanian terrorism starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe.  (trailer)

Stop-Loss  (2008)– Ryan Phillippe, Channing Tatum, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt play three young Texas schoolmates who are finally home from overseas but are forced back via the stop-loss clause.  (trailer)

The Messenger  (2009)– Woody Harrelson was nominated for an Oscar for his role as a U.S. Army Casualty Notification Team officer mentoring recent veteran (Ben Foster) on the uniquely difficult job of informing families the bad news.  (trailer)

Taking Chance  (2009)– Along the same bringing-bad-news-home lines is this gem of a HBO film starring Kevin Bacon (like Cusack earlier, in arguably his best performance as an actor) as a desk officer who never saw combat but takes on the duty of escorting a young fallen soldier’s body back to his old hometown.  Even though this wasn’t in theaters, it is outstanding and worth your time on DVD.  (trailer)

Brothers  (2009)– Jake Gyllenhaal takes care of his older brother’s wife (Natalie Portman) while he (Tobey Maguire) is declared MIA in Afghanistan, from director Jim Sheridan.  (trailer)

Dear John and The Lucky One  (2010 and 2012)– These two adaptations of Nicholas Sparks romance novels briefly touches on the War on Terror through Channing Tatum and Zac Efron’s lead characters’ return home to romance.  (trailer and trailer)

Green Zone  (2010)–Director Paul Greengrass followed United 93 with his Bourne series star Matt Damon in this taut and marginally-dramatized account of the early unsuccessful searches and the possible cover-up of Baghdad’s supposed stores of weapons of mass destruction.  (trailer)

Restrepo  (2010)– The highly acclaimed National Geographic documentary film follows a one-year look at the real men of the platoon embattled in the deadliest fortified valley of Afghanistan.  (trailer)

Act of Valor  (2012)– Disney pumped up the military with this fictional anti-terrorism film using active duty Navy SEALs.  Coming out after the death of Osama bin Laden, this was a welcome and well-promoted hero picture and recruitment reel.  (trailer)

Zero Dark Thirty  (2012)– The Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow made a film about the SEAL Team 6 men and their story of taking down Osama bin Laden.  The film was my #1 movie on my “10 Best” list for 2012.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Lone Survivor (2013)– Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) directed an outstanding and patriotic film based on the Afghanistan saga of Marcus Luttrell starring Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Ben Foster, and Emile Hirsch that echoes another true-life story from the ongoing War on Terror.  Very good movie!  (trailer)  (my full review)

A Most Wanted Man (2014)– Spy novelist John LeCarre’s multi-layered 2008 novel about the world of inter-agency espionage happening in Hamburg, Germany, the same city where the 9/11 conspirators hatched their plans, is an excellent and different post-9/11 film with an international flair and flavor.  It will also be remembered as one of the last performances of Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was phenomenal in the film.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit  (2014)– This modern reboot or update of the famed Tom Clancy character, now played by Chris Pine, roots his pre-spy origins in the aftermath of 9/11 and the War on Terror that followed.  (trailer)

American Sniper  (2014)– Clint Eastwood’s Best Picture nominee war drama about the real-life story of the late Navy SEAL Chris Kyle (played by Oscar nominee Bradley Cooper) went on to become the highest grossing film of 2014 (north of $350 million).  Kyle’s journey from the heartland to the front lines was spurred by a sense of duty and patriotism that started from the attacks of 9/11.  This is, by far, the most high profile movie to date to feature the War on Terror directly correlating 9/11.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Good Kill  (2015)– On the smaller side, but just as solid with warfare and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is this under-seen film which had a limited theatrical release during the summer of 2015.  Andrew Niccol (Lord of War, Gattaca, The Truman Show) shifted his focus to the War on Terror by showcasing a Las Vegas base of drone pilots dealing with the ramification of their actions and the war being waged on their screens and with their joystick controls.  (trailer)  (my full review)

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi  (2016)– Director Michael Bay’s slanted look at the September 11, 2012 embassy attacks that have become a political firebrand since certainly qualifies to make this list.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot  (2016)– Tina Fey shed her comedic image for a heavyish war drama loosely based the true story of Afghanistan/Pakistan television journalist Kim Barker.  (trailer)  

Snowden  (2016)– Renowned politicized filmmaker Oliver Stone brought his brush of dramatic license to the story of whistleblowing former spy Edward Snowden, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  The paranoia of the post-9/11 digital age was the mission field for Snowden and many other young men and women who sought the security and counterterrorism industries. (trailer) (full review)

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk  (2016)– A company of soldiers who lost their commanding officer in Iraq are making a victory tour of press dates and public appearances when the reflections of the title character (newcomer Joe Alwyn) fill the day.  Ang Lee’s film felt ten years too late and was not well received.  (trailer) (my full review)

Thank You For Your Service  (2015) and Thank You For Your Service  (2017)– This popular conversation sentence was the title of two different works.  In 2015, Tom Donahue’s documentary opened eyes to the shoddy mental health governance for modern veterans and made waves that changed actual policies.  The 2017 feature film borrows inspiration from David Finkel’s 2013 nonfiction bestseller dealing with the PTSD topic of returning Iraqi tour soldiers adjusting to civilian life.  Miles Teller is the headliner and is joined by Haley Bennett, Beulah Koale, Joe Cole, and Amy Schumer.  (trailer) (trailer)

Megan Leavey  (2017)– 2017 was a busy year for War on Terror-connected films with five new entries.  Taglined “based on the true story about a Marine’s best friend,” Megan Leavey stars Kate Mara as the soldier leader of a bomb-searching pooch on deployment in Iraq.  Touching film!  (trailer)

The Wall  (2017)– Nocturnal Animals Golden Globe nominee Aaron Taylor-Johnson and emerging WWE movie star John Cena play two soldiers pinned down by an Iraqi sniper in a single-setting thriller from action specialist Doug Liman (Edge of Tomorrow).  (trailer)

War Machine  (2017)– Enough time has passed now in 2017 where the War on Terror has reached a point of being a target of satire.  Animal Kingdom and The Rover director David Michod puts a witty spin on things creating a fictionalized account of U.S. General Stanley McChrystal with Brad Pitt in the lead.  Netflix is the exclusive carrier of this one.   (trailer)

Last Flag Flying  (2017)– The last and best of the 2017 bunch is Richard Linklater’s dramedy about three old Vietnam veterans (Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston, and Laurence Fishburne) who come together when one of their sons is killed in Iraq and coming home for burial.  The excellent acting trio and Linklater’s writing (adapted from Darryl Ponicsan’s novel, a spiritual sequel to his The Last Detail) deliver touching brevity and sharp commentary on the echoes of war across generations.  (trailer) (my full review)

A Private War (2018)— Documentary filmmaker Matthew Heineman made his feature film debut with a biopic on British photojournalist Marie Colvin, who made her stops through the hellfire of Iraq and Afghanistan in her storied career. Rosamund Pike was snubbed for an Oscar nomination that year. (trailer) (my full review)

Vice (2018)— Speaking of biopics, writer/director Adam McKay brought his machete for satire to the life of former Vice President Dick Cheney. The film dove deep into the manipulated machinations from Cheney that engineered the War on Terror during the Bush administration. While not as good as The Big Short, Vice did earn eight Oscar nominations (winning one for makeup), including Best Picture and Best Actor for Christian Bale in the leading role. (trailer) (my full review)

Official Secrets (2019)— When invading Iraq was on the table to push the war to the ground, the United Kingdom and Prime Minister Tony Blair were lockstep next to the U.S. on seeking United Nations approval. The true story of whistleblower Katharine Gun unearthed secrets that led to questioning the war’s legality before it even began. This is a nice step-up for Keira Knightley. (trailer) (my full review)

The Report (2019)— Not yet widely released in 2019 after huge buzz at the Sundance Film Festival, frequent Steven Soderbergh screenwriting collaborator Scott Z. Burns made his directorial debut with this searing docudrama of the use of torture by American agencies during the War on Terror. Check out the film’s trailer:

MOVIES ABOUT THE CHANGES IN AMERICAN LIFE (BOTH SERIOUS AND NOT-SO-SERIOUS)

25th Hour  (2002)– New Yorker Spike Lee was quick to not shy away from the post-9/11 pulse of New York City following Edward Norton’s character’s last night of debauchery and unfinished business before going to prison.  Filled with scathing social commentary and visual reminders of 9/11 and Ground Zero, its amazing opening credits sequence alone set the tone as only Spike can.  (trailer)

Fahrenheit 9/11  (2004)– Documentary maverick Michael Moore’s slam at the handling of 9/11 and the war on terror became one of the most successful box office documentaries of all-time.  (trailer)

Sorry, Haters  (2005)– Robin Wright played a professional woman who receives conversation and unexpected interaction with an Arab New York cab driver in this IFC production.  (foreign trailer)

An Inconvenient Truth  (2006)– By contrast, in a small snippet and computer graphic on melting glaciers in this Oscar-winning documentary, Al Gore lets us know that half of Greenland or Antarctica’s melted ice would put New York, including Ground Zero, underwater within the next 50 years.  (trailer)

The Terminal  (2004)– Airports are now covered in bureaucratic red tape.  Heaven forbids, you’re not from America.  (trailer)

Anger Management  (2003)– Showed us that you can get kicked off a plane now for just about anything.  (trailer)

Soul Plane  (2004)– Then again, come on, guys.  Air travel can still be cool, even with the new security rules. (trailer)

Snakes on a Plane  (2006)– OK, maybe not so much… (trailer)

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay  (2008)– You’ve got to hate racial profiling as much as you equally love a good parody.  (trailer)

Iron Man  (2008)– Marvel’s steely hero had his Vietnam origin story conveniently and modernly flopped for an Afghanistan-connected one.  (trailer)

Bridesmaids  (2011)– Now, that’s how an Air Marshall gets down! (trailer)

Source Code  (2011)– Our fear of catastrophes on planes can easily be translated to trains as well.  (trailer) (my full review)

The Reluctant Fundamentalist  (2013)– For a serious look at the warped view of Muslim citizens post-9/11, take a look at Mira Nair’s dramatic thriller about a young Pakistani man (newcomer Riz Ahmed) who is successful on Wall Street but viewed differently through profiling after 9/11.  (trailer)

The Fifth Estate (2013)– The film story of the WikiLeaks of Julian Assange carry a loose connection to the changed post-9/11 landscape of security and more.  (trailer)

Boyhood (2014)– Richard Linklater’s huge biographical opus was filmed over the course of 12 years with the same cast growing up and aging to tell their family story.  The film starts in 2002, where the incidents of 2001 are fresh on the minds of the characters and discussed openly during the first year sequence of the journey.  Later on, political mentions of Bush, Obama, and the War on Terror make it into a reflective conversation as well.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor  (2018)– A key moment in the extraordinary Fred Rogers documentary chronicled when a retired Rogers was brought back for a special televised message to young viewers about reacting to the 9/11 tragedy that played on-screen for so many viewers.  It’s a touching historical moment.  (trailer) (my full review)

MEMORABLE PAST IMAGES OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER IN MOVIES

Sometimes, all it takes is the camera making a fleeting, yet memorable, glance at those beautiful and now-gone skyscrapers to immediately remind us of a different time.  The WTC towers have been shown in innumerable establishing shots.  We’ll highlight some great ones.  Beginning with the closing credits to New Yorker Martin Scorsese’s 2002 film Gangs of New York, here’s a great montage of cinematic views of the WTC from various pre-2001 movies.

Superman  (1978)– Even a passing fly-by over “Metropolis” feels different.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York  (1992)– Tell me this clip didn’t just go from cute to eerie to sad.  Wonderful then, but different now.

Godspell (1973)— Submitted by friend-of-the-page and larger-fan-of-musicals-than-me Josh Powers, enjoy this dance number from the summery musical filmed and completed before the skyscraper’s ribbon-cutting.

King Kong  (1976)– While it may not match the iconic 1933 image of the original ape towering on top of the Empire State Building, the World Trade Center plays a big role in the 1976 remake starring Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange.  (trailer) 

Independence Day  (1996), Deep Impact  (1998), Armageddon  (1998), and The Day After Tomorrow  (2004)– These all constitute the prominent disaster movies that leave New York (and, in three cases, the WTC) in destructive shambles.  

HONORABLE MENTIONS:  Godzilla  (1998), Cloverfield  (2004), War of the Worlds  (2005), and Watchmen  (2009).  Kind of not so entertaining for few seconds anymore, huh?  See for yourself.  Here’s a montage of NYC movie destruction:

MOVIES THAT FEEL DIFFERENT IN THE POST-9/11 WORLD

I don’t know about you but a lot of movies just don’t resonate or feel the same as they did before September 11th.  We’ve changed and the perception has changed.  For some movies, their message and impact is only made stronger (in good ways and bad) since 9/11.  In other cases, what was entertaining then doesn’t feel so right anymore.

Airplane!  (1980)– Farce or not (and still funny to this day), we could never get away with anything that happens on an airplane from that movie now.  (trailer)

Passenger 57  (1992)–Let alone this movie… (trailer)

Executive Decision  (1996)– …and this movie… (trailer)

Turbulence  (1997)– …and this movie… (trailer)

Pushing Tin  (1999)– …and probably this movie too… (trailer)

True Lies  (1994)– Slammed even then for its depiction of Arab terrorists, it likely has picked up a little more egg on its face. Adding to its burial, the movie hasn’t been released on any physical media format since 1999, which includes zero Blu-ray editions in its history (factoid from Josh Powers). Do you think 20th Century Fox wants that movie to go away or what?  (trailer)

The Siege  (1998)– This frightening martial law thriller with Denzel Washington, Annette Bening, and Bruce Willis makes True Lies look like G.I. Joe starring Ken from the Barbie dolls toy line.  Scary and eerily prophetic in its over-the-top terrorism and bombing scenarios.  (trailer)

The Dark Knight Rises  (2012)– Though fictional with Pittsburgh standing in as Gotham City, the New York imagery and parallels occurring during its terrorist takeover led by Tom Hardy’s Bane have eerie 9/11-inspired ramifications.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Syriana  (2005)– George Clooney won an Oscar, but the touchy subjects of torture, terrorism, and the oil industry evoke a little dose of fear.  (trailer)

Munich  (2005)– The Black September assassination of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics and the Mossad’s reaction was probably the last time before 9/11 that terrorism made worldwide live media headlines.  (trailer)

Arlington Road  (1999)– While this resonates more as a comparison to Oklahoma City-style domestic terrorism, the Jeff Bridges/Tim Robbins underappreciated thriller is no less scary now than then.  (trailer)

Fight Club  (1999)– Watching Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt/Edward Norton) destroy New York’s credit district is another example of domestic terrorism and destruction that rings a little louder post-9/11.

The Sum of All Fears  (2002)– Many people found the Super Bowl bomb plot far too soon to see those images just a year removed from 9/11.  (trailer)

V for Vendetta  (2006)– Urban terrorism in London via a Guy Fawkes fan resonates a little different for a public scare on our side of the Atlantic.  (trailer)

Courage Under Fire  (1995)– Our first trip to Iraq foreshadows a lot of the equal futility, bravery, and loss experienced in our second trip… (trailer)

Jarhead  (2005)– …especially when told from the true account of a disillusioned soldier who was there.  (trailer)

Charlie Wilson’s War  (2007)– The same foreshadowing can be made out of our 1980’s Cold War involvement on the side of Afghanistan versus the Soviet Union as outlined by a gem of a Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman film.  To think that we could have stuck around and cleaned the place up before they became our enemy.  (trailer)

Rambo III  (1988)– Speaking of an American fighting on the anti-communism side of the Afghans!  (trailer)

Air Force One  (1997)– Not that George W. Bush or Barack Obama ever channeled Harrison Ford here, but don’t you now root a little harder for a take charge President… (trailer)

The Patriot  (2000)– … or a flag-carrying American hero from 230+ years ago… (trailer)

Pearl Harbor  (2001)– …or the last great American tragedy that galvanized a nation and sent us to war.  (trailer)

MOVIES SINCE 2001 THAT RENEW THE AMERICAN SPIRIT

These examples (as well as the aforementioned World Trade Center) will get your patriotic heartstrings going and boost your down spirit.

The Last Castle  (2001)– Opening just over a month after the tragedy, the military and flag-waving patriotism of Robert Redford’s underrated drama undeniably stirs you.  (trailer)

Behind Enemy Lines  (2001)– Leave it to Gene Hackman and Owen Wilson (of all people) to win macho patriotic points for loosely re-enacting the famous pilot Scott O’Grady Bosnian prisoner escape story.  (trailer)

Black Hawk Down  (2001)– Released during the 2001-2002 awards season, Ridley Scott’s powerful depiction of the 1993 Battle of Mogadishu showed the uncompromising courage of U.S. Army Ranger and  Delta Force soldiers at a time when our current soldiers were likely preparing for going overseas to similar urban warfare.  (trailer)

We Were Soldiers  (2002)– Mel Gibson may be embroiled in unpopular headlines now, but his 2002 action-drama from his Braveheart writer about America’s first official military action in Vietnam is as powerful and it is impressive.  Like Black Hawk Down, it added to the heroic mystique of the American soldier, even if it was set in the past.  If you don’t cry watching those wives deliver those first casualty letters, there’s something wrong with you.  (trailer)

Spider-Man  (2002) and Spider-Man 2  (2004)– New York’s #1 resident superhero always fights for a way for the citizen of the city to stand up together.  I suppose you can throw in the pair from the reboot (The Amazing Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man 2) for some of the same reasons.  (trailer)

Gangs of New York  (2002)– Martin Scorsese is a quintessential New Yorker and his mid-1800’s history piece (while definitely violent) was a love letter to the city’s great history.  (trailer)

Elf  (2003)– Will Ferrell put the Big Apple back in the Christmas cheer.  (trailer)

Ladder 49  (2004)– Though it wasn’t set in New York, you can’t help but think of the 343 NYFD men and women that lost their lives on September 11th and ardent first-responders when you watch Joaquin Phoenix and John Travolta as macho Baltimore firemen.  (trailer)

Million Dollar Baby  (2004)– America loves a good underdog story and Clint Eastwood gave the public a heck of a good one that went on to win the Oscar for Best Picture.  (trailer)

Miracle  (2004)– What better way to boost American spirit than to relive our greatest Olympic triumph. (trailer)

National Treasure  (2004)– How about a history lesson to make you feel good about our great country?  Why not?  (trailer)

Hitch  (2005)– Will Smith brought popular romance back to the City That Never Sleeps. (trailer)  He would capture hearts for a different reason the next year with The Pursuit of Happyness.  (trailer)

We Are Marshall  (2006)– Another real-life airplane tragedy sets the stage for an amazing story of athletic and community rebirth.  One of the most underrated football movies out there.  (trailer)

Live Free or Die Hard  (2007)– Why not give NY’s best bad-ass cop a chance to save the nation’s capital? (trailer)

Captain America: The First Avenger  (2011)– Last but not least, you can’t get more patriotic and underdog than this skinny guy from Brooklyn transformed into a red-white-and-blue super soldier.  He followed it up this past summer saving New York in The Avengers.  (trailer and trailer)  (full review and my full review)

American Sniper  (2014)– The tremendous reception Clint Eastwood’s film had to become the highest grossing movie of the year made Chris Kyle a household name and heavily amplified a previously dormant red-blooded (and “red state-d”) surge of patriotism and soldier appreciation. (trailer) (my full review)

Sully  (2016)– Both the incredible true story of Flight 1549 from 2009 and Clint Eastwood’s respectful retelling featuring Tom Hanks as Capt. Chelsea “Sully” Sullenberger remind audiences of the strength of New York City.  There’s a great line in the movie where someone is trying to thank Sullenberger and says that it’s been a long time since the city has had good news about anything like the “Miracle on the Hudson,” especially about a plane. (trailer)  (my full review)

Patriots Day  (2016) and Stronger  (2018)– The way the city of Boston rallied from another terrorist attack on American soil during its marathon has key inspirational value.  It’s too bad the film was the Mark Wahlberg show rather than a well-rounded ensemble approach.  (trailer) (my full Patriots Day review) (trailer) (my full Stronger review)

Spider-Man: Homecoming  (2017) and Avengers: Infinity War (2018)– Much like the Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield web-slinger movies that came before, Tom Holland’s take on Peter Parker is a born-and-raised New York kid that supports and protects his neighborhood and city from dangers foreign and domestic. His protection, joined by fellow New Yorker Doctor Strange, expands with the united effort with The Avengers when Thanos shows up in Avengers: Infinity War.  One part down on that with one to go in the summer of 2019.  (trailer) (my full Spider-Man: Homecoming review) (trailer) (my Avengers: Infinity War review)

Only the Brave (2017)– Just as with Ladder 49 thirteen years before it, you can’t beat the sympathy generated by the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice of firefighters.  Forest fires aren’t terrorists, but the feels are all there.  (trailer) 

The 15:17 to Paris (2018)– Four years after American Sniper, Clint Eastwood dipped his filmmaking brush in the hero worship paint again to tell another true story.  The wrinkle of this one is that Eastwood called upon the actual heroes that thwarted the 2015 Thayls train attack to star in their own movie recreation.  Results were mixed, but the Eastwood prestige is there. (trailer) (my full review)

THE UP-AND-DOWN PULSE OF CONTINUED SENSITIVITY AND/OR CENSORSHIP TO 9/11 SIMILARITIES

For 2014 and going forward, this is a new section I’m adding to this study.  Now that enough time has passed since 2001, I’m beginning to notice that movies are starting to go back to some of the images and themes of violence, destruction, and terrorism that were hands off for so many years after 9/11.  Like all history, even 9/11 will fade.  What we were offended by after the horrific incidents have returned, in some cases, to be more tolerated and even acceptable and celebrated again.  Sure enough, there are plenty who vividly remember 2001’s events and images and are quick to point out when something is in possible poor taste.  That shaky barometer has led to some allusions and reminders to 9/11 and some flat-out censorship changes and corrections.  Some get flak and slaps on the wrist while some don’t.  Here are some examples in recent years.

Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down (2013)– Both competing White House takeover films from 2013, one from Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) and one from Roland Emmerich (Independence Day) had a bit of split audience reaction to their violent and terrorist content.  Some rooted and cheered as if it was the 80’s again and America is always going to win.  Others were not so keen or ready to see the White House become a target and battleground, even if it was just a movie.  Between the two, Olympus Has Fallen, the R-rated and more severe one of the two, was the bigger hit.  In a way, no one batted an eye. (trailer and trailer)  (my full Olympus Has Fallen review)

Man of Steel  (2013)– Despite being one of the most all-American heroes around, Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel gave Superman a very serious tone that, in a way, can’t be included on the category before this one of movies that renew the American spirit.  Also, many people were not very pleased with the immense city-wide destruction scenes of Metropolis during the film’s climax.  Even though Chicago was the filming location of a fictitious comic book city, there were staunch critics who had a problem with huge office buildings and skyscrapers in very 9/11-esque rubble. Its 2016 sequel, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice mildly addressed that a city can’t be destroyed without consequences, even on Superman’s watch in a colorful comic book setting.   (my full review)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)– Much like Man of Steel, the third Michael Bay Transformers movie features a great deal of city-wide destruction (again, in Chicago) that rubbed a few people the wrong way.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)– Throw in the terrorist label for the villain and his bombings and the big San Francisco starship wreck during this film’s ending action that was clearly a larger scale to a passenger jet taking out buildings.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Godzilla (2014)– Add the King of the Monsters to the list of more city destruction that raised an eyebrow for some.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)– Outside of this string of modern and accepted examples of urban attacks and destruction, is the minor amount of hot water the makers of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got it for a promotional poster that had an exploding skyscraper that cut too close to 9/11 similarities.  The study pulled the poster and had to apologize.  Censorship and sensitivity won that argument and mistake.  (trailer)  

The Walk  (2015)– A very big test to peoples’ memories of the World Trade Center will be coming in the Fall of 2015 with Robert Zemeckis’s film The Walk, the true story of the French high-wire artist Philippe Petit’s quest to tightrope walk between the twin towers of the World Trade Center in 1974 (previously featured in the Academy Award nominated 2008 documentary Man on Wire).  Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the film will prominently display, thanks to Zemeckis’s stunning use of CGI,  a tremendous amount of imagery of the two lost skyscrapers.  Even though it’s a period piece to a non-turbulent time, no film since 2001 has attempted to show this much of those building.  Public reaction was mixed and the film was not a box office hit.  (trailer)  (full review)

Independence Day: Resurgence  (2016)– I guess it’s OK for patriotic mass city destruction again.  London gets it worse than New York, though.  (trailer)  (full review)

Ghostbusters  (2016)– Well, New York was safe for at least a month anyway between Independence Day: Resurgence‘s release and the new reboot (which conveniently made sure its city destruction in Times Square and other places be easy to erase).  Not far behind was the fictional Suicide Squad and its over-the-city halo of supposed death.  (trailer)  (my full review)

Rampage (2018)– Larger in size than the old World Trade Centers used to be, Chicago’s Willis Tower, the former Sears Tower and tallest building in the world, was the targeted collapsed skyscraper spectacle of choice in the Brad Payton/Dwayne Johnson live-action video game adaptation.   Monsters aren’t terrorists, but the imagery hits close as the Willis Tower was one of many skyscrapers across the country evacuated on 9/11 out of fear of becoming another target.   See the collapse clip above. (my full review)

I hope everyone enjoyed this little (OK, large) retrospective about the impact of 9/11 in movies for the last 18 years and counting.  Take some time this coming weekend to appreciate the freedoms we have the people fighting to keep them for us.  Support your troops and first responders and, again, NEVER FORGET!

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[faces-in-unexpected-places]

Do You Have the Time? Episode 007: Family

[March 26th, 2018, 11:53]

Madison stood outside of the main chemistry building with her headphones on and scrolled through various apps on her phone. She had tied her windbreaker around her waist because the weather decided to cooperate half-way through the morning. March was never a predictable month where she lived. Some days were freezing, others were windy, some snowed, and even more variants were sunny. Today was supposed to be freezing, but all patches of snow were gone by 10:00. A glare pierced her retina, and she shielded her face with her free hand. And look who decided to come out today. Luckily for Madison, the impossible-to-perceive changes made by the climate’s spring season often left her backpack riddled with useful things. Usually they were left unintentionally hidden somewhere on account of the sudden need for some other seasonal accessory in the past, but she wasn’t about to start doubting her convenient and forgetful way for coming through for her future self now.

Madison rifled through the various pockets and compartments of her bag for her pair of sunglasses. Within the minute, she found them stowed away in some place she has no recollection of putting them in. In that moment, she could feel the sun. She put her Ray-Bans on.

People complimented her on her sunglasses a lot, which surprised her when she bought them. At first, she was worried that she might look too much like Harry Potter because the lenses were circular; but she later decided that it didn’t matter. Harry Potter was freaking awesome and if someone said that she did in fact look like him, then it would have been the kindest words they could have given her. She wondered if Harry wore round sunglasses just like his regular prescription. So long as he had a separate pair of sunglasses that were prescription and he didn’t have those clip-on lenses that old people use. Maybe sixty-year-old HP would use them.

Madison hummed in her thoughts and chuckled. 

She wondered if Leopold wore those kinds of glasses. Immediately after, Madison remembered that Leopold did not wear prescription glasses to begin with, so the clip-ons would be pointless. The clip-ons did seem useful, though. If she could pull off regular, circular sunglasses, maybe she could sport some prescription glasses with sunglass clip-ons. She supposed the only conflict standing in her way was that she had 20/20 vision.

She opened her web browser on her phone and typed ‘how to damage your eyesight’. Something about her train of thought and actions caused her to erupt in laughter. Surprisingly, the first few search results are exactly what she was ‘looking for’. She rolled her eyes at the idea, chuckled and returned to her various phone apps. Jeremy was four minutes late. Maybe she would hassle him for his obvious inaccuracy. Her grin strengthened on her face as she considered the idea. A message appeared at the top of her screen while she was on her entertainment high. The last thing she wanted to see at the moment.

‘General Chemistry I: Grade Posted 11:54’.

Her smile wore away and she opened up the notification. Might as well get it over with as soon as she could. The reason that she was let out early, that she hid from the group chat, was because today was an exam day. Her third exam out of five. And she also happened to be blessed with a professor who is so eager to mark all of her wrong answers that he does so before the official end of the class period. Exam III: 71%, C-.

Madison sighed and shut off the phone’s screen. Stuffing it back into her pocket felt like the best course of action in response to that news. Just in time, Jeremy pulled up in front of the chemistry building for her. Eager to leave campus, she leapt down the stairs and threw herself into the passenger seat of the car. Jeremy quietly acknowledged her and set them on course for home.

“So, what happened with the lab?” Madison asked, expecting further explanation from the group chat..

“Leslie and I made some headway before actual work started, but once it did, Sophia came in and shut it all down,” he replied flatly.

“God, what did she do?”

“Found a way to ‘evacuate’ us because of some suspected gas leak.”

“Damn. Is it legit, do you think?”

“Not sure. We didn’t have enough time to really investigate it. We just took everything we could and left before they kicked us out,” he explained, “I had to take IO to stay in the robotics lab.”

“Oh, poor little guy. That sucks.”

“The robotics lab… that Sophia volunteers in,” he said uncomfortably.

“What?” Madison yelped and turned towards him, “Why would you do that?”

“What else could I have done, Madison?” he replied, sharply, “I have no other spaces to keep IO in. You know what happens if we keep him in the apartment.”

“I know, but Sophia? Really?”

“She’s not the only one that works there. And she’s a volunteer anyway. I’ll keep in touch with IO the whole time our lab is closed.”

“Well, good luck. Hope the poor thing is okay.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There was a silent lull for a few minutes. Madison tensely looked out the window while Jeremy drove without uttering a word. She brainstormed ways to break the awkward static before they arrived at their apartment.

“So you and Les spent some alone time together this morning then, huh?” She joked.

“Madison, please.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”

Another awkward silence. So, he definitely didn’t think that was funny.

“Are you excited for the research-dinner party?” She asked.

“I suppose,” he answered, “It’ll be nice to update Leopold on what Leslie and I put together. I’d really like to get this preliminary stuff out of the way, and start testing our hypotheses.”

“I’m excited to see Leslie’s place!” She added, “She’s so organised, I bet it will be super clean and stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will be,” Jeremy said in a lighter tone, “What do you think you’ll do in the meantime before it’s time to leave?”

“Ehh… not sure. Maybe dick around online for a bit. I can only take so much of being aggressively average at chemistry before I decide to give it a rest and waste my time on the computer.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll let you know when it’s time to go,” Jeremy said as he pulled into their parking space outside of their apartment complex.

It didn’t take long for Jeremy to disappear into his room after they managed to make their way up the stairs and into their apartment. Madison entered her own room, slumped down into her bed and rested her body. She could feel her limbs get heavy as she stared up at her ceiling mobile decorated with different coloured leaves. She felt that adult mobiles were a far under-appreciated invention. 

Despite the tense silences that happened in the car, she felt that her conversation with Jeremy ended on a definitively neutral tone, rather than a hostile one. She’d take neutral over that any day. The only thing left for her to do, that she could think of, was brush up on all board games that Leslie may have, so that she could wipe the floor with her, Jeremy and Leopold at the party.

Jeremy let his backpack plummet to the floor and settled onto his bed, facedown on the mattress. He laid still for a few minutes, simply letting the tension out of his limbs. It hadn’t occurred to him how stiff he was throughout the day. From working with Leslie, getting frustrated with GraviTime, having an altercation with Leslie, having numerous confusing altercations with Sophia, and then talking to Madison on the way home. Though thankfully, their last conversation didn’t seem as difficult as their previous ones.

He rolled over to the side of his bed to inspect the papers in his bag. There was a large folder that he had almost forgotten about. It was filled with lab reports from the 1 credit hour undergraduate physics lab course that he was a teaching assistant for. He was grateful that the university offered him a contract to TA one of the lab courses for money in addition to giving him a stipend. Renting his room in the apartment would have been difficult without the deal. Despite the variety of kids he saw in an introductory course, it was actually a refreshing way to spend his time. Grading needed to be finished by the 28th.

Before surrendering to the pull to the bed, Jeremy sluggishly ambled off of his bed and knelt down in front of his ant farm sitting on a small stand near his door. It looked like the microcosm might need some water soon. He wondered how ants were so structured and coordinated. As did everyone with an ant farm, he supposed. If these ants could thrive and build with only the limited resources provided in their space, then surely he and everyone else could function a few days without the lab. Maybe he would work on an idea for an alternate location to do work like Leslie did with her dinner party.

[March 26th, 2018, 14:40]

Leslie shambled up the last flight of stairs with various reusable grocery bags filling her hands and hanging off her body. She struggled down the hallway, huffing and contorting her body to keep the bags from tipping and spilling her dinner ingredients. At last, apartment 4 on the third floor. She beamed in relief, but the expression quickly faded. She needed to unlock the door. A faint sigh escaped as she shuffled her purse around until she could access it. With just a few seconds to spare, Leslie managed to unlock her door, get inside and drop half the bags down on her dining room table. Another moment, and there may have been a messy disaster. She relieved herself of the burden from the bags slung over her shoulders, and slumped down into one of the chairs at the dinning room table, rubbing her arms.

Looking about her apartment, she immediately began picking apart the things that needed to be fixed before her guests arrived. Too many objects on her coffee table in front of the couch, all surfaces needed dusting, dishes needed to be done, groceries to be put away. The list of things was never ending. Leslie was having difficulty with her living room for one major reason. Her television sat close to her front door; in front of it was her coffee table, and then the couch. And she had her matching ottoman off in the corner, because there was not enough room for everything. Her issue was that she spent very little time watching TV; and what if there was not enough room for everybody to sit after dinner? The TV might be in the way, or one of them could have to sit close to the door, and they might be uncomfortable with that. She could already feel the party was going to be a mess. She should just take that spot herself to circumnavigate any other disaster.

Leslie shook herself out of her ceaseless train of thought and switched on her ambient sound generator sitting on the bar that bordered the kitchen. She preferred to have some sort of noise while she was home, and music and TV were both too distracting. Would they think her sound generator was weird or uncomfortable without any other noise? Maybe she should play music for them. Her favourite soundscape came on and played sounds of ocean waves and a crackling fire. Tones like those swept her away into a peaceful future, lacking the constant stress and demand for work. She could float away for a moment or two. Maybe one day she could let go of it all. It could be her and Leopold sharing in the beauty as lifetime friends. Jeremy and Madison could come too if they wanted. She was sure that they would find a way to be content. Her cell phone suddenly blared its ringer. Leslie jumped right out of her daydream. She leapt back to the dining room table and scrambled for her phone. It rested between her ear and her shoulder as she hauled bags of groceries to the kitchen counter.

“Hi mom,” she said in her cheery voice, excited to talk. Conversation usually kept her worries at bay. She unpacked the bags and searched for the ingredients’ rightful places.

“Good afternoon, darling. How are you?” her mother responded with a warm and firm tone.

“Good! Just got back from the store with some food. I’m having a little get-together tonight, so I wanted to make a good meal for everyone. What do you need?” She asked, ready to help.

Mrs. Goodchild disregarded Leslie’s question by refusing to acknowledge it. A trace of grief was left in her tone, as she responded to her daughter.

“Oh, a get-together, huh?” she asked with hesitation, “That sounds like fun. What is the occasion?”

“It’s for work.”

“Oh. Well, good for you, sweetie. I’m sure Dr. Looney will be as big of a fan of your cooking as your father and I,” she said. Leslie pulled out the eggplants that she bought and set them off to the side on the counter.

“Aww, thanks mom. I’m glad you and dad liked it all so much. Thankfully the internet was passionate about making tutorials for so many dishes. It was a convenient hobby to have to hold down the fort for you two!”

The line went quiet and Leslie was perplexed. Her mother took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

“Yeah, Leslie, speaking of that…” 

“Yes?”

“Well, since you mentioned it… I’ve been thinking a lot about the way your father and I have been for a while. Our financial situation. And I wanted— uh, is now an okay time to talk, by the way?” 

“Yeah! Everything’s fine! I’m just cooking and cleaning, getting things ready for everyone later. I could use a bit of time away from the demands of science. What’s up?”

“I wanted to call and say that I’m sorry that we're still relying on you. I was thinking about how we still depend on you for things now, even though you moved out years ago. We shouldn’t have had to rely on you when you were just a little girl either, but we did. And I want to change that now. You were always a huge help to us both, and we we’re grateful for you stepping up, and being responsible and such a good sport. We still are! I’m just sorry that nothing has really changed, even though I said it would. I thought of something that I hope will make it up to you?” she said with uncertainty.

“I know that you’re sorry, mom, don’t worry. We’ve already talked it over before! It’s really okay, though. It was tough, and maybe I could have been doing other things in my spare time as a kid, but it was useful to me! Cooking and working aren’t such bad things. I like them enough to throw a party for my coworkers! And my house is always really clean because that’s what I did back home. It worked out for everyone!”

Milk in the fridge. Sauce in the fridge. Noodles go… they could go next to the eggplants.

Her mother sighed, and there was a moment of silence on the line.

“I understand, but. I just meant to call and say that it wasn’t fair for you. And maybe you can pursue some of the things you missed out on, now that you’re older and have the time,” she suggested, “My idea, if you wanted, is that you could move back to our house for a while to relax and not stress so much. We still have your room ready, and you wouldn’t be paying for rent in two different places, anymore…”

“It would be easier, but I do really like being out here, mom! I’m close to work and there’s more happening in the city. I’m happy to help you out!”

Bags get folded and placed in the cabinet furtherest from the dining room.

“Okay,” Mrs. Goodchild whispered, “Is there anything that dad or I could do for you?”

“No, I don’t think so!” Leslie said, absent-mindedly, “Is there anything I can do for you guys?”

“No, honey, thank you. You’ve done plenty for us.”

“Did you guys get my money transfer yet?” Leslie moved the conversation onward. She heard her mother shuffle some papers around and exhale.

“Yes, it’s right here. It’s a lot. You’re sure you won’t need at least some of this? It’s more than just the rent.”

“No, I’ll be fine! You guys need to fix one of the cars, right? You can put the rest towards that!”

“Your dad and I can handle those payments ourselves, Leslie.”

“Well, now you can handle them better! You’ll pay off the services faster.”

“Thank you, hun, that’s very sweet of you.”

“How has dad been?”

“Oh, you know your father. Still driving trucks for long hours. We’re hoping he gets a promotion soon, but… we’re not too sure. Time will tell, I suppose.”

“And you?” Leslie prodded.

“The restaurant hasn’t been getting as many customers as it did when we opened last year. I’ve been thinking about making a change, if things don’t look up soon.”

Leslie found the ground beef sitting out on the counter, and stuffed it in her fridge before she forgot again. She couldn’t remember how it got there.

“I’m sorry to hear that, mom. I hope things look up soon.”

“I hope so, too,” she said quietly.

“Maybe, to take your minds off of it, you can both make a trip out here and we’ll all spend the day together!” Leslie suggested with enthusiasm.

“That would be wonderful. Your father would be excited to do that.”

“Good! We should plan that soon!”

“Yes, we should. In the meantime though, I’ve got to start getting ready for work, okay?”

“Okay!”

“It was nice to hear your voice again, honey. Have fun with dinner and everyone tonight, and be sure to say hi and thank you again to Dr. Looney for all of his help.”

“I will! I always do,” she said with a sunny smile, “It was nice to talk to you too, mom. Have a good day at work, and I can’t wait to see you two again. Don’t worry too much about me!”

Mrs. Goodchild let out a breathy laugh.

“I’ll do my best, sweetheart. Don’t work too hard.”

“Impossible!” Leslie joked.

“Talk soon, darling. I love you.”

“I love you too! Bye-bye!”

Click.

Leslie leaned against the counter with a smile. She loved hearing from her parents. Especially her mom because she was always looking out for her. It was probably where Leslie got her consistently concerned disposition, too. Although, her mother is concerned with a serious undertone. The cheeriness likely came from her father, ultimately to form Leslie’s core expressions. Cheerful, concerned and eager to help. She chuckled as she thought about what an odd combination of traits that was to exhibit in someone. She wondered if anybody was ever perplexed at her demeanour. It wouldn’t surprise her. Leslie’s smile faded away as she kept her mother in her thoughts. It was flattering to be so concerned with Leslie’s wellness, but sometimes, she wished that her mom could relax about it. The hardest part for her was that she could do nothing to change her mother.

Leslie put her thoughts to rest again and distracted herself with the housework. If the house-party was going to be a success, she would have to hurry. The seating arrangement problem had been solved, but everything still needed to be dusted, and all clutter had to be organised and tidied. Disinfecting all surfaces would be a plus, although her time could run out before that happened. She scurried down the one hallway in her apartment that led past her bathroom, bedroom, and finally terminated at a small storage closet housing her cleaning supplies. Quickly, she delved into the tiny room dragging out a vacuum, a duster, and a spray bottle of disinfectant. The vacuum slipped away from her and swung the floor in her haste. Before she bent to pick it back up, a peculiar colour caught her eye. Something orange stuck to the door facing the inside of the closet. A post-it note. Leslie furrowed her brow and slowly picked it off the door.

“Relax and slow down. Try classical. Remember to have fun!”

The handwriting was awfully… chicken-scratchy. She wondered how long it had been in there. Maybe she’d been a little too focused on work and her parents lately to remember. Her apartment did need a decent cleaning up, so it could have been there for quite some time. There was certainly something vaguely familiar. Was it the colour? Or the placement? An involuntary sigh sheepishly escaped from her mouth. She should be able to keep track of her own house, she’s an adult. She escorted the note down the hall and into her room, which also needed cleaning. Maybe she’d just close the door before they arrived. If she ran short on time, of course. Leslie precariously hid the note away in her nightstand drawer and returned to her storage closet mess with a foggy mind.

“Classical what?” she asked aloud and glanced back to her bedroom door, as if there would be a response. She shrugged and dragged her cleaning supplies to the living room. The most efficient order of tasks would be… clutter, clean the surfaces, dirty dishes, vacuum, then cooking. And closing her bedroom door. Cooking was the most important, because it is not a dinner party without dinner. Her computer and notes needed to be easily accessible, too. It wasn’t a research dinner party without the research.

The top priority was supposed to be work, after all. Briefing Leopold on the progress that she and Jeremy made that morning. She wondered if Jeremy felt comfortable coming to her house. Partly because of the end of their last personal conversation, and partly because he seemed slightly uncomfortable with everything in general. She chuckled to herself. Hopefully everything would go well. Leslie resolved to simply make the most of the night to the best of her ability. Cooking, cleaning, research, activities, whatever got done would get done.

As long as the four of them were happy, she could consider the party a good one.

[03–26–2018; 18:12_Research_Video_Log_002_START]

“Doo doo-doo doo-dooooooo,” Madison sang and pranced behind Jeremy on the way to their car. Their apartment complex’s parking lot was decently packed, and the sky was a deep blue. The sun would be setting in about thirty minutes. Jeremy looked back at her.

“What are you doing?”

“I feel like you guys should be taking advantage of this camcorder by doing more science vlogs.”

“They’re research video logs,” he said.

“Yeah, same thing, nerd. You guys could be on YouTube!”

“Madison, we’re a theoretical physics laboratory, not a make-up tutorial channel.”

Her jaw dropped in surprise, she averted her eyes and her cheeks warmed up. “How did you know I watched those…” she asked quietly.

“I didn’t, it was just an example,” he said and shrugged as he climbed into the driver seat of their car.

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair!” Madison exclaimed, following his motions into the passenger side.

“You brought it on yourself.”

“And you brought this on yourself,” she laughed and zoomed the camera up on Jeremy’s face so that it covered the whole viewing window.”

“Please don’t do that.”

“Sorry, I can’t control it.”

“Yes, you can,” he replied tiredly as he started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot, “You do know that you’re wasting a lot of memory, right?”

“That’s what happens when you make a time travel documentary, Jeremy!”

“It’s not a time travel documentary. It’s supposed to be for recording our experiments and results.”

“A documentary is way cooler, though.”

“Okay, just… if you transfer that footage to your computer fast enough that running out of memory won’t be a problem in the lab, then you can make your time travel documentary.”

“YES,” she yelled, “You mean our documentary.

Jeremy sighed and groaned while coming to the first red light of the drive. “If I say yes, will you please just stop.”

“Okay, alright, fine, sorry,” she mocked, “…Can I interview you for the documentary?”

“I don’t promise accurate answers to ridiculous questions.”

Green light.

“So, mister, doctor Jeremy—”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“––what is your favourite thing about your amazing, one-of-a-kind sister?”

“How much she talks.”

“Really?!” she said with a laugh.

“No.”

“Oh,” she dismissed, “That’s lame!”

Jeremy kept his eyes on the road.

“Okay, how about this. What do you think Leslie is going to make for dinner?”

Jeremy furrowed his brow while he was thinking.

“Huh. I don’t know… maybe a family kind of dinner.”

“What? What even is that?” Madison asked.

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. Something families eat.”

“Wow, what an oddly vague and cryptic answer! As if family dinner food is somehow fundamentally different from everyone else's!”

“Whatever, Madison. I’m driving."

“Thank you for being here today mister, professor Jeremy—”

“Also not a professor.”

“—do you have any final words for the audience?”

“Not particularly,” he said.

“A man of few words, but eloquent, nonetheless.”

“Hey, look at the directions and tell me if that’s her apartment building,” Jeremy instructed, “I think it might be, but I want to be sure.”

“Oh, okay sure,” Madison said, as she distractedly pointed the view of the camera towards her lap to look at her phone.

[03–26–2018; 18:24_Research_Video_Log_002_END]

#do you have the time? #episode 007 #leslie #jeremy #madison #IO #sophia #writer #writer on tumblr #time travel #science fiction

[bikaelsons]

die easy

CHAPTER SIX ∙ 'cause I can't take it

note: yes this is a repost a month late, but what’s important to remember is that while i may be incompetent, i’m also an unmitigated disaster. as it turns out this chapter’s title was a prophecy of what it’d be like trying to post this monstrosity! i’m gonna go take a long bath

warnings: allusions to domestic violence, canon-typical violence, and katherine pierce removing her fake eyelashes (the last one made ... an impact)

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Matt ran red light after red light, screaming through corners and clipping hedges. More than one indignant jogger flipped him off as he tore past. He didn't care.

He pulled up at the Gilbert residence, scraping the wheels against the gutter. He bailed out, not bothering to lock the truck as he took off across the grass. The door was unlocked, but had it been otherwise he felt desperate enough to take it right off its hinges.

Caroline was in the living room, makeup smudged with tears and exhaustion. "Thank god," she breathed, and it was all she got out before Matt tackled her into a hug. When she continued, her voice was muffled against his chest. "I thought you might run over someone on your way here."

"I was careful," he lied, pulling back but keeping Caroline at arm's length. "Where—how—"

"Elena took him upstairs. She—" Caroline lowered her voice, mindful of vampire senses. "She thinks his ring will bring him back."

A spark of hope ignited in Matt's chest, quashed instantly by the subsequent realisation. "It only works on humans that are killed by supernaturals."

"And while Katherine is supernatural—"

"—so is Jer. Fuck." The hollow ache returned to Matt's chest, one he knew all too well. "I'll go talk to her."

Caroline nodded. "I'm gonna try calling Ty again."

Hugging her one last time, Matt left to give her some privacy.

 #

 Elijah had never much liked Pennsylvania. A discomforting encounter with Quakers way back when had cured him of any affection for the wretched state. The summers were unbearably humid, somehow worse than any he'd experienced in Louisiana. How many suits had he ruined with sweat in this awful piece of country?

To be fair, though, he'd ruined more with blood.

Setting aside his prejudice, as a learned man was wont to do, Elijah forced himself past the border and deeper into the state. The coordinates Allie had provided took him west to a small, armpit of a town that already festered with the coming summer.

(It was lovely, but he was in no state to acknowledge that.)

The town's hub of activity was a stretch of cafes and antique stores in a short street adjacent to the main one, and it was there that Elijah found himself. He bypassed the juice bar for a more traditional diner with checkered linoleum and a jukebox he was willing to compel them all not to touch. He ordered a black coffee and sat on a stool that creaked beneath him, the entire set-up a mockery of a bar. Even the smooth, plastic countertop beneath his fingers was red and sparkling clean to aid the sliding of milkshake glasses to eager customers.

Elijah accepted his coffee from one of the workers, a pimpled man with a nametag that read RANDY and who'd known every other customer by name, and who drawled at Elijah, "New in town?"

"Is it obvious?" Elijah replied, gesturing to his suit. Everyone else was dressed like they were going to the beach, except for the uniformed workers at table No. 9.

"Yeah, you don't look like the regular folk, unless you're a real estate agent."

Elijah returned the man's smile despite having seen such a real estate agent setting up fliers on his way here, an agent who had been wearing a polo shirt under his suit jacket. "I'm here looking for a friend, actually."

"Who? Maybe it's someone I know."

Elijah pulled his phone from his pocket, first noting the absence of messages from Matthew, then tapping in his code and bringing up the picture of Elena he'd filched from the Mystic Falls High website for this exact purpose. She wasn't who he was looking for, but they were quite literally doppelgangers. "This woman," he said, showing the phone to the worker.

The worker leaned in close, squinting at the picture. "Can't say I've met her. Maybe you could ask around, though?"

"Perhaps. I was told she'd made herself quite a fixture in the town." Actually, Allie's exact words had been She's talking like she's the fucking queen boss, Uncle. "If you see anyone matching her description, do let her know I'm looking for her." It could make her run, but it could also draw her out enough for a conversation. Elijah was willing to take the risk.

"I sure will," the worker affirmed. He leaned back over his shoulder and yelled, "Going on break, boss!" then tossed his dishtowel over one shoulder and disappeared into the kitchen.

Elijah checked once more for notifications, then switched his phone off and returned it to his pocket. He shouldn't be this anxious really—Matthew had told him to leave, and he'd been right. It was time for Elijah to stop hanging onto his brother's apron strings. The solution to this was, of course, to track down the woman that had ruined his relationship with his brother to begin with.

By the time Elijah finished his (annoyingly decent) coffee he'd well and truly talked himself into a mood. So it wasn't really his fault he didn't notice someone was following him out of the diner until he was three streets away from the main action and their heels kept clicking on the sidewalk in a syncopated rhythm to compliment his.

He glanced over his shoulder quickly, finding no one there and the sound gone. Attuning his senses, Elijah froze. The scent wasn't like Katherine's—he knew that too well to be mistaken—but it was female and vampiric.

"I know you're there," Elijah announced in a cool tone. "Playing games will not end well for you."

“You're looking for Katherine," said the woman, her accent a crisp, almost too-perfect British.

Elijah tried to attune his hearing, to seek out a heartbeat, some whisper of breath in lungs, but found nothing. "And you can help me."

"Perhaps."

"If you could show yourself, I'd appreciate it."

"Why? Can't you find my heart, Elijah Mikaelson?"

He'd already been irritated; now he was what the Americans so aptly referred to as pissed. Which didn't help, because the roaring of blood in his ears only made it harder to pick out her location. Even her scent was difficult to negotiate among the alley they'd found themselves in, all sorts of unsavoury scents occupying his olfactory senses.

"Is she here?"

"So what if she is?"

It took conscious effort to un-grit his teeth. "I am not one to be run around by childish games. Either tell me where to find Katerina or I will leave."

Silence. Then, a heartbeat. It began slowly, quickening to a more normal rate and coming with breaths and the sound of heels on a brick rooftop. Elijah looked up to see a vampire loom above him, short and round in stature and with short, pin-straight hair. She stepped from the rooftop as though she were descending a staircase, landing on the ground in front of him like the jump had been nothing at all.

"You stopped your heart," Elijah said, stepping back to survey her.

She dusted off her dusky pink cardigan with a few stiff, practiced movements, then turned her gaze on him. Something about it was unnerving, exacting. "I did."

"And you are?"

"Juliana Porter. I work with Miss Pierce."

With, not for. An interesting word choice, and a deliberate one, too, if her meticulous nature so far had been any indication.

"She's here, then?"

"Not presently, but she sends her apologies. She has been waiting for you, but other matters took her away."

"Why has she been waiting for me?" And how did she know I would come?

"I think you know the answer to that, Mr Mikaelson. Now, would you like me to show you to your room?"

Elijah raised an eyebrow. "I have a room?"

"But of course." Juliana's grin was large enough to show the place in her gums where her fangs laid in wait, just barely pressing against the pink. "Like I said: Katherine has been waiting for you."

 #

 Matt had seen too many dead bodies.

One could argue that one dead body was too many, but Matt did feel like he could almost have handled that. Maybe.

Who was he kidding? He could barely handle seeing undead bodies.

Now he was seeing both dead and undead: Elena, undead and perched beside Jeremy, dead and laid out on his bed as though he were only sleeping after all.

"I know what they're saying," Elena said, breaking the silence. "I'm not crazy."

Matt swallowed the lump in his throat. "No one's saying you're crazy."

"Just that I'm wrong." Elena's thumb brushed over the Gilbert ring on Jeremy's hand, fingernail catching on the blue stone.

"He's not human anymore, Elena. He stopped being human as soon as we activated his Hunter's curse." Just like werewolves, it was the first kill that brought a hunter out to play. The first vampire Jeremy had slain sealed his fate.

Elena shook her head. "Just—shut up, okay? He's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be fine."

And though Matt knew otherwise, he sat beside Elena and tucked an arm around her.

Maybe things would be better once the Salvatores got back.

 #

 The room Juliana took Elijah to was exactly to his taste, from the plush, navy rug to the mahogany end table to the precise threadcount on the Egyptian cotton sheets splashed over the memory foam mattress.

"Miss Katherine designed it for you especially," Juliana contributed from the doorway. "She said you'd come to find her."

Katherine always had been one step ahead of them. Elijah had long since given up on figuring out how she managed it. And though part of him wanted to run contrary to her assumptions, to not be kept waiting like some insect in amber until Katherine saw fit to fetch him ... this was what he'd come here for.

"Shall I ask the kitchens to draw you some tea?"

Elijah turned back to face Juliana. For someone that had been so adamant about working with Katherine, not for her, she was sure behaving like a maidservant. "No," said Elijah. "I think some rum will suit me better."

Juliana raised an eyebrow. "Right you are, then. I'll leave you to it."

She departed, shutting the door behind her and leaving Elijah alone in the space his oldest love had carved for him.

 #

 Matt set the coffee cup down beside Caroline and slid into the booth across from her. "Still nothing from Ty?"

Caroline shook her head, setting her phone down. "Radio silence. I guess Klaus really got to him."

"He'll come around."

"Nope," said Caroline, popping the 'p' and bringing her coffee up under her nose. "I think the point of leaving was that he's never coming around again."

"He won't abandon you."

"I told him to go. We agreed it was for the best. Said goodbye and everything."

Funny, since Ty hadn't seen fit to show Matt the same courtesy. A dead best friend and one that might as well be dead, too. Fitting.

"I'm sorry," said Caroline, catching sight of Matt's face. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Matt bit out. I just picked a hell of a time to get rid of Elijah. Would he even care that Katherine had killed Jeremy? He had a history with her, Matt remembered. Then again, he had a history with Jeremy, the guy that killed Kol.

Once, just once, Matt would like to feel an uncomplicated emotion.

"You can talk to me." Caroline reached across the table to grab onto Matt's hand. "Jeremy meant a lot to you. And losing Ty, too ..."

Matt withdrew a little. "I'm fine."

Caroline seemed about to argue when her phone started ringing. She said, "Stefan," and picked it up hurriedly. "Is everything okay?"

Matt couldn't make out the voice on the other ended, but it didn't sound particularly thrilled. Not that it should.

"Oh. Oh." Tears welled up in Caroline's eyes like they belonged there, though she fought them valiantly, biting her lip and tensing her frame in an attempt to gain control. She met Matt's gaze as she told Stefan, "We'll be right there."

 #

 The Gilbert house was burning.

Caroline had to get creative in driving through the amassed crowd, and even then they could hardly get onto the street before they were stopped by a ring of firetrucks forming a barrier. A few hoses were going, trying to douse the flames, but it was too late for the house. Half of it had crumbled before Matt even got out of the car.

The house he'd spent his entire childhood in was becoming a husk before his eyes.

Caroline grabbed his wrist and pulled him past the firetrucks, breathing, "Elena." They pushed forward to get to the Salvatores and Elena, who stood on a neighbouring lawn. Damon was blank-faced, Stefan was grim, and Elena ...

Matt stepped forward, trying to get her attention. She watched the fire with a neutral expression, her tears long since dried by the warmth. "He's inside," she said. "They're fighting because they think he's still alive."

Jeremy. They had to find a cover for his death. It was smart, if not horrible. "Are you ... okay?" Matt asked, hating how it sounded.

Elena looked away from the fire easily, turning on him with a blank expression. "I'm fine." She flicked her gaze to Damon. "Let's go."

To Matt's shock, Elena strode away, Damon trailing after her. He looked back over his shoulder to exchange a look with Stefan and was gone.

"What the hell was that?" Caroline demanded.

"That was Elena," Stefan answered. "Without her humanity."

 #

 The shower was just as luxurious as the bedroom had been, multiple nozzles and enough room for ten men to stand in. Elijah took more time than he needed, glad for the reprieve from motel showers.

The moment he turned the water off, Elijah knew she was back. Her scent reached him even through the steam, even as he heard her unmistakable heart beating outside.

He took his time drying off, shaving meticulously, and slipping on silk pyjama pants and one of the bathrobes provided. Katherine also seemed to be stalling, only just crossing the threshold as Elijah finished in the bathroom. He heard her farewell Juliana, who she seemed on good terms with. He heard her curse under her breath as she removed her heels halfway up the stairs, stockinged toes sinking into the lush carpet.

He did love her. Each reminder of the affliction was another punch to the gut.

Katherine slowed as she passed his bedroom door but didn't quite stop. She picked up her pace and headed into her own room down the hall, leaving her door open. An invitation.

You've come this far, Elijah reasoned, tying his robe a little tighter, tucking his phone into the pocket. He headed down the hall and rapped his knuckles against the doorframe that thresholded her room, hoping the pattern of knocks sounded sufficiently bored and entirely undesperate.

He didn't wait for her invitation to enter—her bedroom was many things, but a human residence, it was not. He had no need for permission, and he knew for a fact that she would never give it. A verbal invitation sounded too much like a question, and a question permitted a response in the negative. Katerina Petrova was never denied.

She wasn't laid on the bed, as one might expect. Instead, she'd planted herself on the heavy leather chest at the foot of her bed, rubbing her now bare feet. Her shoes and stockings were in a pile at her feet, her trench coat draped beneath her like a skin easily shed. All she wore was a dress of the brightest blue, the kind that almost pulsed in the dim light.

"Hello, Katerina."

Her smile was guileless. "Elijah. So nice of you to join me."

Elijah leaned against the bed frame, ignoring the way her fingers dug into the arch of her foot, relieving a phantom ache that she didn't feel. She was a vampire, after all. The illusion of relaxation was just that—false. He wouldn't let it ease him. "Since you've had me waiting on you this past day, I'd say it is you that has joined me."

Katherine stood without warning, almost nose-to-nose with him in an instant. "We can join each other." She stepped away just as quickly, dissipating like a mist as she sat at her boudoir, shedding her dress on the way. She sat before it in a black slip only, facing her own reflection yet peering at him through the mirror.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting," she said, tone nothing in the vicinity of apology. She pulled one string of false eyelashes off, slowly, tossing it aside. As she moved to give the other one the same treatment, she locked eyes with Elijah. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Your own foresight, if my room is any indication."

"Oh, do you like it?" she asked, voice muffled by the tissue she was wiping her lipstick off with.

"It's precisely my taste, as you know."

She turned over her shoulder to gift him a smile. There were flecks of lipstick staining her teeth, pink and sparkling where she'd pressed them there with the tissue. He doubted that was an accident, nor how swollen her lips looked after cleaning them. "How are you, Elijah?"

"Well enough."

"I heard you and Klaus had a falling out."

"One hears many things if they listen. Not all of them are true."

Katherine opened a drawer and retrieved a packet of what appeared to be wipes. She pulled one out and began rubbing it over her eyelids, the shimmering powder come off like a dusting of sand under a saltwater spray. "I lied," she admitted. "I didn't hear it. But I could see it in your eyes when you walked in, and I guessed it when I prepared your room for you. I've always known you, Elijah."

And there it was: the reason he'd come. The one thing he loathed her for was the one thing he needed her for the most. Even Matthew hadn't been able to see how scarcely Elijah was holding on.

"Am I to guess the nature of this falling out, or will you save me the trouble and regale me with another tale of Mikaelson woe?"

Elijah broke her gaze in the mirror, looking around the room instead. "It was the usual. Lack of cooperation, plotting without our knowledge. He faked his death this time, though. That hasn't happened before."

"It's not exactly beneath him, though, is it?"

Opting not to reply, Elijah scooped up the discarded dress and stockings, placing them in the laundry hamper just beside the bathroom door. He fetched the coat and heels and wandered into the adjoining walk-in wardrobe, finding their places easily: the coat among its sisters, the shoes in the only spare place along the floor. By the time he returned to the room, Katherine was finished, beaming at him with a youthfulness that was almost hard to look at.

She looked like Katerina. Sometimes, she was.

"Always cleaning up after me, Elijah," said Katerina, not budging an inch. "After all of us. You must be so exhausted." Where once her tone had been mocking, now it was only sincere.

Left with nothing else, Elijah had only the truth. "Why else would I come?"

"The same reason you always do."

Katerina extended her hand. Elijah took it.

 #

 Matt sunk into the sofa, the same place he'd always sat. He knew the Lockwood mansion better than his own home—had likely spent more time in it, most of his best memories either here or the Gilbert house. He was almost certain that the reason the sofa in the den molded so well to him was the impression his ass had left in its surface during thousands of hours of Call of Duty with Ty.

All that time, he'd never thought he'd own the place. But he did—in his name and everything.

Honestly, if you asked Matt, Ty could go fuck himself. Acting like the mansion was a substitute for friendship. It was almost 3am and Matt was alone, all alone, in a house that had never embraced a single owner in its entire span. Everyone here was lonely eventually; Matt had watched Ty's parents grow colder every year in it. He was convinced it was cursed.

But it was also all he had left.

Pulling out his phone, Matt scrolled through his contacts for a while, just watching the names spin by like the world's saddest slot machine. He'd really fucked up when he let Jeremy go to that island alone, when he'd accepted his non-invitation without a fight. For what? Time with Elijah and some useless memories he didn't know how to deal with?

Maybe there were some things you just weren't supposed to know. Maybe the fact that your ex-girlfriend fed on you and compelled you to forget multiple times, that your other ex-girlfriend almost killed you and let her current maybe-boyfriend compel away your memories and leave you for dead, that your friend had compelled you to forget your own sister's death ... maybe these were things Matt could have gone without knowing.

He did know he'd trade them in a second if he had half the chance.

Anger burning through him, Matt scrolled back through the names until he got to E. Pulling up his and Elijah's text messages, he found himself faced with the last few. All business, making plans to meet up, to get his memories fixed. Checking in on each other through drama after drama.

He wondered if Elijah knew that Jeremy was dead. Wondered if he cared.

Not giving himself a chance to think, Matt tapped out, Hey, where are you? He only barely stopped himself from sending it. What right did he have to ask? He'd sent Elijah away.

He'd sent everyone away.

 #

 Elijah stared at the bright rectangle of his screen in the dark.

No new messages.

Beside him in the bed, Katerina stirred. "'Lijah?" she whined, shielding her eyes from the light. "Something wrong?"

"No." Elijah clicked his phone off and set it on the nightstand. "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep."

Katerina hummed, reaching out to pull him to her. He went willingly, resting his cheek against her collarbone. He matched his breathing to hers until sleep took him.

 #

 Three days later, Elijah woke to his phone ringing. It was 3am and Katerina, who'd already shown her distaste for phones in the bedroom, groaned beside him.

"Sleep," Elijah told her, kissing her jaw and pulling the covers up. He swept up his phone, slipped on some pants and sped away, ending up down the street where the conversation wouldn't disturb his sleeping lover. And then he looked at the caller ID.

Answering in confusion, Elijah said, "Tam?"

"It's Lex."

"Lex? What are you doing with your mother's phone? Is everything all right?"

"Mom needs help. She won't call Grandma June, but she said I could call you."

"What happened?"

"She got hurt at work. Some guys came to the bar and stuff. She's in the hospital, and there's a lady here to take Dylan and me away."

"What lady?"

"She's a social worker. She says it's just to look after us while Mom's in the hospital, but she also asked a lot of questions about us being there when it happened."

"You were at the bar?" Of course they were. If childcare fell through, Tam couldn't just abandon her shift. Goddamit.

"Yeah. Can you please come? Dylan won't stop crying and Mom can't talk. I don't wanna go with the lady but she says we have to."

Elijah ran a hand over his face. "All right, Lex. I need you to tell the lady that I'm your uncle. Say I'm coming to look after you, so she won't need to."

"What if she doesn't believe me?"

"You can put me on the phone to her now, if you like. But you have to keep up the story, make sure she doesn't think we're lying. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Uncle Eli." Shuffling on the end of the phone. "My uncle wants to talk to you."

More shuffling, then a woman's voice. "Hello? This is Janet. Who is this?"

"I'm Elijah, the boys' uncle."

"I was unaware Tamara had a brother."

"Uncle on their father's side. I'll be by to take care of them soon. I'm in Pennsylvania at the moment, but I'm packing as we speak." A lie. He was standing shirtless in the middle of the street. "I appreciate you looking after the boys while I make my way there."

"Yes, well, anything to help. It's been a rather traumatic situation for them both, and I'm sure Tamara will appreciate your help. You can pick the boys up from the child protective services office on the main street."

"Thank you so much. Would you mind putting Lex back on the phone?"

"Of course.” More shuffling.

"Uncle Eli?"

"Lex. Janet is going to take you to her office, all right? I'll come by and pick you up before it's even light outside."

"What about Mom?"

"I'll make sure she's okay just as soon as I get you and Dylan sorted. She'd want you to take care of yourselves first. Do you understand?"

"I guess."

"Keep your mother's phone on you so you can call me if anything changes. I'll see you soon, all right?"

"All right."

With a beep, Lex hung up.

"Sounds like an interesting kid."

Elijah forced himself not to jump. "Hello, Juliana."

She emerged from the dark, heart resuming its beating. He'd have to ask her how she managed that. "So, you're leaving, then?"

"I have matters to attend to. I'll leave a note for Katherine."

"Don't bother." Juliana smirked. "I'll be sure to give her the full story. Have fun on your little trip."

She flashed away without a word, leaving Elijah alone in the cobblestone street.

 #

 Elijah did, in fact, leave a note for Katerina. It was simple and without flowery sentiment—just the way they both preferred. He drove the entire way to Maryland in silence, hands clenching and unclenching on the wheel.

The Child Protective Services Office was a squat, brown-bricked building with a gravel parking lot inserted out back. It was empty but for one vehicle, presumably Janet's, and most of the lights inside were off.

The doors were locked, as was probably sensible, so Elijah rapped on the frame until a middle-aged woman appeared, her blue eyes watery—perhaps from crying, perhaps because they were just always like that. She unlocked the door quickly and offered him her hand to shake. The wall of warm air and peach-scented perfume hit Elijah like a physical force, almost knocking him back a step.

"Janet Payne," she introduced herself. "You must be Elijah?"

Elijah shook her hand and nodded.

"Please, come on in. I'll take you to the boys."

She led him in past the front desk, one with a perspex barrier and only a slot to pass paper back in forth through. Elijah imagined one would come in handy if he ever reconciled with his family. The 'TAKE A NUMBER AND WAIT YOUR TURN' sign had its own appeal as well.

The boys were in a room brimming with toys that looked like they'd seen better days. Then again, so did the boys. Lex's hair was sticking up at all sides and Dylan's mouth was ringed with something white and foamy, perhaps ... ice cream? They were both in desperate need of baths, fresh clothes, and haircuts. Only two of those were an easy fix.

"Elijah!" said Lex, standing up upon spotting him. He seemed unsure of how to react, whether to go for a hug or what. Knowing that Janet watched on, Elijah stooped down to embrace Lex himself. The assertion that they needed baths was confirmed by closer proximity.

"Come on," said Elijah. "Pack up your things and let's get going."

"I'll need you to sign some paperwork first," said Janet.

Elijah turned to her, catching her eye carefully. "If you check again, I'm sure you'll find that everything is in order."

She blinked heavily, compulsion falling over her mind like a soft blanket, and said, "Of course."

"Come now, boys," Elijah directed over his shoulder. "Let's get going."

 #

 As it turned out, Lex and Dylan were very well-behaved for relative strangers. Lex wasn't entirely trusting, but he seemed to have gauged Elijah as their only viable option while Tam was still in hospital.

Dylan crashed in his bed just after Lex gave him a bath. Elijah didn't interfere; young children were particularly difficult when they deviated from routine, and Elijah had no intention of triggering a tantrum. The only child he'd interacted with in recent memory was Allie, and they'd been a nightmare to deal with at times.

With Dylan in bed, Lex sought Elijah for more food and company. Elijah had pulled together what he could from the kitchen—some eggs on toast, as it was almost breakfast time. Lex didn't seem all that tired, though.

"When are we going to go see Mom?" he asked through his egg.

"Once your brother wakes. I called the hospital to make sure they told her you're with me."

Lex nodded and set his cutlery down to pick up his toast and start chewing on it. "Where did you go?"

"I had family business to attend to."

"What kind of business?"

"The difficult kind."

Lex considered him. "Do you have kids?"

"No. I have siblings, though." And that's sometimes the same thing. "Why weren't you with your babysitter last night?" Tam should have had the money for it. Elijah had compelled her a raise, after all.

"Mom caught the sitter stealing some of her clothes last week. She hasn't found a new one yet."

People really were heathens sometimes, Elijah concluded.

"Are you gonna leave again?" Lex asked. There was nothing in his tone to indicate how he felt about it—he certainly wasn't upset, in any case. And why should he be? He barely knew Elijah.

"Not until I know everything's all right."

"Why can't you just stay?"

"Because I have things to do, Lex."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm ... a writer." The lie came easily; he'd used it most recently, when trying to worm his way into the Gilberts' lives. Just a writer researching Mystic Falls history, he'd told Jenna. He wondered if his lie hurried her death at his brother's hand.

"That's cool, I guess," Lex said boredly, playing with his now soggy toast.

Elijah stifled a laugh. Children were always good for the ego.

"You should get some rest," said Elijah. "Your mother will want to know you're doing well when she sees you."

"I'm not tired, though."

"Don't lie. I know you yawned when you were coming down the hallway. Finish your toast and get some sleep."

Lex didn't complain, but Elijah could tell he wanted to. "I'm not hungry," he said instead.

"Good. Brush your teeth. I'll wake you in a few hours."

"What if it's not visiting hours at the hospital?"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out. Go on, now."

Lex shot him one last look before wandering off down the hall, leaving Elijah with the half-eaten toast and an uncomfortable silence.

 #

 The hours passed slowly, Elijah monitoring the boys in the back of his mind. Dylan stayed right out until mid-morning, but Lex tossed and turned for the better part of three hours before he drifted off.

Entertaining Dylan wasn't difficult, much to Elijah's relief. He mostly drank from juice boxes and watched TV; neither of these things were strictly healthy, but Elijah didn't know enough about Tam's rules to enforce them. He allowed it, listening closely from the next room in case he was needed.

Lex didn't need waking. He rolled out of bed after a meagre two hours of rest, as grouchy as the teenager he would be in a few short years. He dressed both Dylan and himself, barely stopping to eat before insisting on going to see his mother.

Elijah drove with the radio on, something he rarely did. The music was annoying, but Dylan knew one or two songs and Lex seemed content to just be.

The hospital wasn't busy, thank god. It was a small-town one with barely enough room for two ambulances in the bay. There was only one nurse working the front desk—an older woman in purple, flowery scrubs. Her breath smelled like the egg she'd had for breakfast.

"Well, hi, there," she cooed, looking down at Dylan and Lex. "Everything all right, folks?"

"We're here to see Tamara Knight. She was brought in last night, injured in a bar fight."

"You a relative?"

"Her brother."

The nurse clicked at her computer for a moment. "Yep, here she is. Room 204. Go down the hall, turn left, then right, then left again. You should find her easy enough."

"Thank you."

Elijah led the boys down the way the nurse had said, but he didn't need the directions. He could hear Tam's breathing, her heartbeat—he could smell her scent. They arrived at her door, 204, and Lex knocked without being asked.

"Come in!"

Lex opened the door, making way for Dylan to dart in toward his mother. She reached over the edge of her bed and took him into her arms.

"Careful," Elijah cautioned, drawing Tam's gaze to him. Her eyes caught Elijah's, sharp, then turned to Lex as she motioned him closer. The three of them embraced, and Elijah ducked out, closing the door behind him.

 #

 Half an hour later, Lex poked his head out to find Elijah standing in the hall. "Mom wants to talk to you. I'm s'posed to take Dylan to the vending machine for some food."

"Do you have money?"

"Duh. Come on, Dylan." Lex pulled Dylan along down the hall in search of food, leaving the door wide open for Elijah to step through.

Inside, Tam was sitting up in her bed. She looked brighter than she had when he caught a glimpse of her earlier, some more colour in her cheeks, brighter light behind her eyes. She wasn't hooked up to any machines or drips, though there was a band aid over the back of her left hand.

"How are you feeling?" Elijah asked, sitting down beside her.

"Fine. I had a slight concussion, but they said I should be out by tonight."

Elijah could smell the blood on her, so he kept staring until she continued, "And there's a cut on the back of my shoulder. Not too deep, but they stitched it up." She motioned to her shoulder, the bandages rustling as she moved. They were mostly out of sight but made her hospital gown look bulky.

"What happened last night? Lex said you were attacked by some man."

"Yeah, just a regular patron."

Elijah stared at her, unimpressed.

"What?" asked Tam, raising her arms innocently. "It's true. He's in there all the time." She sighed. "But we also dated."

"And was his anger at you related to his patronage or your relationship?"

"The latter."

"I trust he's in custody?"

"Yeah, but he won't stay that way. His brother's one of the deputies. Gets him off for everything—DUIs, drunken disorderlies, all of it."

"He won't be this time."

"You sound so certain."

"I am. What else can I do for you?"

"Nothing, really. You already took the boys."

"You don't sound entirely comfortable with that."

Tam shook her head. "Lex was right to call you. There wasn't another option. I just didn't sleep well knowing my kids were in the care of a relative stranger."

"Would you have preferred I leave them with social services?" Elijah intended it as a genuine question. "If so, I apologise, but the situation as it was communicated to me—"

“No, it's fine. They would've looked the kids up, called their grandmother."

"Yes, the famed 'Grandma June'. Your mother or their father's?"

"Mine."

"You were seriously injured in a bar fight. Your mother has no place in this?"

"If she set foot in this town, she'd be reporting me to social services."

"She'd incite a custody battle?"

"She'd win it, too. She's got money, a nice house, a good name, a college education. I've got a record for solicitation and I just got glassed in a fight with an ex-boyfriend while my children cowered under the bar I work at." Tam laughed bitterly. "Maybe they'd be better off with her."

"Do you believe that?"

"I hated living with her, but I might've hated living like this, too."

"You love your sons more than she ever will."

"Love isn't always enough."

"Not always, no." Elijah thought of Niklaus, begging him to free him from his chains with their father beat him, while their mother cursed him. He thought of Rebekah suffering at Niklaus' hand again and again while Elijah watched on. He thought of Marcel, the boy they rescued and left to Niklaus to ruin. "You have to choose whether you allow yourself to be their mother or a spectator in their upbringing. Choose wisely, and choose quickly, because there are two police officers sixty seconds away from arriving at this door to question you over last night's events."

Tam's eyes widened. "How do you—"

"I just know. Choose, Tam. They have your police records, they know who you are, and they have the power to report you to the relevant bodies. Choose what you want me to help you achieve."

"I can't." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I can't stop this from going wrong."

"Do you want me to? I can make this all go away."

"I ... I don't know. What would you do?"

"This isn't up to me, Tam. Now, tell me—what do you want?"

The door opened, revealing Lex and Dylan. Dylan wandered right in to show his mother the bag of cheetos from the vending machine, but Lex stayed rooted in place, looking down the hall at the approaching police officers.

"That looks yum, baby," Tam told Dylan absently. "How about you go and get some real food with Elijah and your brother, huh?"

"Tam, I can stay—"

"No, Elijah." Tam met his gaze. "I have some things to take care of."

The officers arrived at the door, Lex still staring up at them.

"Tamara Knight?" asked one of them, fingers hooked into his belt.

Lex stepped away from them, back into the room. "Mom?"

"It's fine, sweetie. You're going to lunch with Uncle Elijah while I talk to the officers about last night, okay?"

"Can't I stay?"

"We'll come right back," Elijah assured him. "I swear."

Lex didn't repeat his protests, eyeing the police officers with trepidation as Elijah led him out.

 #

 Lunch was awkward. Dylan picked an ice cream shop that Elijah didn't have the presence of mind to argue against. Lunch became sundaes and being babysat by "Uncle Elijah" turned into an hour long sugar high that Elijah didn't dare bring back to the hospital.

It was Lex's suggestion, going to the park. He seemed to have inferred the need to fill in time, and having Dylan burn off the high was only a positive. Elijah sat on a bench beside a breastfeeding woman while he watched the boys. Dylan raced around the equipment, Lex following him with a watchful eye.

Elijah's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, finding himself facing a raunchy selfie of Katerina. He had no idea when she'd had a chance to enter her new number and add a contact photo, and he didn't have the presence of mind to wonder. The woman on the bench beside him must have seen the image, too, as she slid away from him a fraction and tightened her grip on the baby.

So, really, Elijah could hardly be blamed for answering the phone with a curt, "Hello."

"You don't sound as happy about my new contact photo as I thought you would."

"You don't ask for permission as much as I think you should."

"Because it's boring. Where are you?"

"Did Juliana not fill you in?"

"She said something about Maryland, some kid calling you. Care to fill me in? Oh, thank you, Randy,” Katerina cooed, taking a long sip of something.

"You're at the diner."

"And you travelled interstate. Spill."

Elijah hesitated. Trusting Katerina had never ended well for anyone, and he had no intention of falling back into old habits. Had he known Juliana was listening to his conversation the night before, he'd have found somewhere else to talk. As it was, Katerina had caught a scent and she had no intention of letting it slip away. "Can we discuss it when I get back?"

"When will that be?"

"Soon." Elijah got the sense that Tam didn't like having him watch the boys, and if she was doing what he thought she was then how she felt wouldn't matter much longer anyway. "I'll update you when I know more. Things are ... complicated."

"Then tell me. Maybe I can help."

"Not to doubt your skills, Katerina, but I doubt there's anything here that you can handle that I cannot. It's all rather ..." Elijah watched Lex help Dylan onto the see-saw. "Mundane."

Katerina chuckled. "I'll steer clear, then." There was a pause, only the sound of chatter in the diner and wind in the park between them. "You were gone when I woke up."

"I left a note."

"You could've woken me and told me yourself."

"You travelled far enough. You needed your rest."

"How do you know how far I travelled?"

"Your hair smelled like dirt when you first returned. I assumed you wouldn't allow yourself to be sullied unless it was in a remote location, lest someone capture the incident on film."

"The worst of all human inventions.” Another pause. "I hope I don't have to wake up alone for long."

"I'll be back soon." Back. Not home. He didn't say that anymore.

"Promise?"

"Of course. And if you miss me, you can just call."

"Mm. I guess my photo should entice you back on its own."

"That it should," Elijah replied, as though he had no intention of changing it as soon as the call ended. The last thing he needed was one of the boys picking up his phone while Katerina called it. "I look forward to seeing you again."

"You'd better. See you soon."

The indistinct chatter cut off, leaving Elijah with a dead line.

 #

 Walking into the hospital felt more like walking into a morgue. The police cruiser was absent from the parking lot as he pulled on, but the moment Elijah opened his car door he caught a waft of peach perfume and knew exactly what was coming.

Janet was there.

Lex helped Dylan out of his car seat. The toddler's eyes were droopy, his hair slick with cooling sweat at the temples. He was certainly past his sugar high.

"Let's go see your mother," Elijah said, trying (and failing) to get a reaction from one of them. As when they first came by, it was Lex who held Dylan's hand when they crossed the road. Elijah was more of a spectator than anything else as Lex followed the path they'd originally taken, arriving at his mother's hospital room door. It was ajar, both Tam and Janet inside.

"What's she doing here?" asked Lex, eyeing Janet with disdain.

"She's here to talk to us about a few things," Tam replied. She spotted Dylan and opened her arms wide. "C'mere, baby!"

Dylan wandered over to his mother, climbing up onto her bed and settling in along her side. She ran a hand through his damp hair, then looked back at Lex, who hadn't moved an inch.

"Come in, Lex. We need to talk."

"I'll ... give you all a moment," said Elijah, excusing himself. He shut the door behind him and avoided Lex's gaze through the glass as he walked away.

 #

 Two hours later, Elijah was still studiously ignoring the loud conversation he could easily eavesdrop on—Lex was currently accusing his mother of abandonment, and Elijah had no intention of intruding on that difficult moment. He'd visited the billing department to see to things, but that had been irritatingly free of bureaucratic nonsense and concluded in half an hour. Elijah soon concluded that there was only so much time a person could spend in the cafeteria before they lost track of any world that existed beyond it, which was how he found himself staring down at the mimicry of a sandwich before him while the argument on the other side of the hospital reached fever pitch.

"I promise I'll visit you there, Lexi,” Tam was saying. "It's not forever—just for now."

"But you hate Grandma June! You never want to see her—"

"I don't hate her, Lex. She's my mother. We don't always get along, but that doesn't mean you won't."

"We don't even know her."

"You knew her when you were a baby and you loved her. She used to sing you songs and play all kinds of games; you thought she hung the moon. Trust me, Lex. This will be good for you."

"But this is our home ..."

Elijah forced himself to tune out once more, taking a bite of his sandwich. He promptly spat it out, but at least it was distracting enough from the matter at hand to give him a temporary reprieve.

 #

 Tam was discharged by 4pm, as sworn by the medical staff. She enquired about the bills and was informed of their status as paid; something in the way she looked at Elijah told him she wasn't thrilled by his interference. She had bigger things to worry about.

Elijah drove the three of them home after Janet departed. Tam was forbidden from driving while she was on pain meds, though Elijah could tell she hadn't taken any yet. Her shoulder bothered her, but she put on a good show as she tried to get Lex to talk to her.

He wouldn't.

With the boys home and unpacked from their day, Elijah was left at rather a loose end. He quickly got the impression he was an unwelcome hoverer in what was Tam's last few hours with her boys before her mother arrived the next morning, so he made himself scarce.

Surprisingly, the old man running the motel recognised Elijah from his visit several weeks previously. Unsurprisingly, the same room was free, the ice machine was still broken, and Elijah wished desperately he were anywhere else.

Dropping down onto the bed, Elijah checked his phone for messages, finding nothing. He told himself he was waiting to hear from Katerina. He knew it wasn't true.

 #

 Once the blood started flowing, Tam's ex-boyfriend was a screamer. Elijah kept him silent enough.

 #

 Elijah stayed clear of the Knight house the next morning. Tam had his number; she'd call if she needed him. She didn't until late that afternoon, when the sun's light filtered through the motel window and lit up the dust motes Elijah was trying desperately not to see.

"They're gone,” was the first thing she said. "CPS wasn't even involved. I just let her take them."

Elijah paused, waiting for more information. She didn't speak, just breathed heavy on the line. "I'll be there in five minutes," he said, ending the call.

 #

 Elijah arrived in three minutes, wasting no time in letting himself in by the unlocked front door. He flicked it locked behind him and continued, finding Tam at the kitchen table with the remains of what looked like a very depressing lunch in front of her.

"Are you all right?"

Tam didn't speak, just met his gaze with an exasperated look—or as exasperated as it could be while her eyes were so unfocused. Elijah scented the air for alcohol, finding nothing. She must have finally taken her meds.

"You should get some rest," he suggested. "I can find some dinner for when you wake up—"

"I need you to leave."

"Pardon?"

"Leave town," she clarified, struggling up from her chair. "I can't rebuild my life with you looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you can fix it. It's not yours to fix, and I don't want you here while I do it myself."

"Tam, please, let me help you."

"Why?" asked Tam, words slurring together. "Why d'you care? You drove all the way here from another state to watch my kids. I let you b'cause of what you did f' me, b'cause I trusted you, b'cause I thought nothing could be worse and that anything was better than my mother and you'd just be helpful for a little bit then you go and pay my bills and you're just here all the time and it's ... what do you want from me?" She drew in a breath, stepping back from him a little until her back hit the wall. She hissed at the pain. "Why did you have to kill him?"

"Tamara, what—"

"I know Benny is dead. They found his body in the river. Said it looks like a suicide, but I know better." Her gaze was accusatory, her stance defensive. Perhaps not quite enough for someone accusing another of murder, but still, the judgment was there.

"Tamara, he—he hurt you. He would've hurt your sons."

"You don't know that!"

"I ASKED HIM, Tamara!" Elijah snapped. "I asked him, and he told me everything he did and everything he was going to do. Why would I let him live?"

"His brother's a deputy," said Tam, breathless and wide-eyed. "I could turn you in. You'd never see the light of day again."

"You won't." Elijah tried to sound certain. He could always compel her, but he didn't want to. She'd do what she did, and he would face the consequences.

"Why not? Why shouldn't I? You're a killer, Elijah. I let you watch my children and then you killed a man."

"A man that tried to hurt you."

"That doesn't mean you can kill him!" Tam kicked the back of her foot against the wall, eyes screwed shut. "Just ... leave, Elijah. Please."

"You've been through a lot, Tam. You're angry now, so get some rest. I'll come by in the morning with breakfast—"

"Oh, my god, no. This isn't some trauma response, Elijah. I need you to go."

Elijah drew back, calculating. "I'll be in town until tomorrow morning," he said, deciding as he said it aloud. "If you ask me to stay, I will. But if I don't have a message from you by nine tomorrow, I'll know you want me gone for real."

"Are you always this smothering?" Tam scoffed. "No wonder you don't have a family."

"You're lashing out," Elijah said, rationalising. "I'll take my leave. Please—call me if you need to."

Tam didn't respond, just watched him carefully as he retreated. He could've sworn he still felt her eyes on his back, all the way down the street.

 #

 No call came through from Tam by morning. Elijah didn't know what he'd expected, but the feeling was familiar. First Klaus, then Matthew, now Tam—all making it perfectly clear just how unnecessary he was.

It's unbecoming to pout, he warned himself, schooling his features as he stopped by the front office of the motel to check out.

"Good day for travel," said the old man, taking the key back from Elijah and hanging it on its hook. "You drive safe now, friend."

"Thank you for your hospitality." Elijah swept up his suitcase, not one for wheeling it—there was something plebeian about the movement that he abhorred—and made his way out, stepping lightly over the cracks in the concrete before arriving at his car.

Inside, Elijah paused. His phone burned a hole in his pocket (almost literally, as he'd been informed there was a slight overheating issue he needed to have seen to). Pulling it out, he found the conversation with Katerina and tapped out a message.

Heading back to town.

It took Katerina all of ten seconds to reply. I've always wanted to have a picnic at the gazebo in town.

I know the one. Should be there about 1PM.

Make it 2. You have to stop for food for us.

Elijah snorted. Katerina Petrova did not fill baskets with pastries for outdoors picnics. 2PM it is. I'll see you soon.

And with that, Elijah got on the road.

#the originals #tvd #elijah mikaelson #matt donovan #malijah #can i tag it as that if we're still in the match-striking phase of this slowburn? #idk i make the rules i guess #fuck #die easy #fanfic #mine