#i didn't think it necessary to share my first friend's crisis (when i told the guy i dislike abt it i didnt say who it was) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonrose-mortem · 2 years

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I don't usually post stuff like this, but I feel it's necessary to support something that connects to "The Owl House."

The show is under enough pressure between season 3 almost getting completely cancelled and Disney treating Dana Terrace and her crew like absolute crap when they have created a masterpiece of a cartoon that I would have loved to see as a kid, and I have a niece who LOVES it. She came out as demi/lesbian to her parents, my husband and me (her cool aunt, a title I feel honored to be.) I told her about "The Owl House" because she likes witchy stuff, weird cartoons and is into nerdy things as well. She binged the first season and it became something we could bond/talk over. Let me tell you, when Lumity became canon in season 2 she was so happy! Why? Because she felt SEEN.

I loved Lumity when it happened as well because it was history making and the cutest ship I've seen in a while.

But they weren't the characters I was interested in most. The character that really pulled me into TOH fandom was Willow Park.

Why? Because I saw myself in her the most.

Chubby. Glasses. Loved plants, nature and animals. Had a sweet and shy personality but was insecure and held a little darkness inside from wanting to be angry but couldn't. Didn't have many friends and was dropped by her childhood friend (s) because she was different. Was bullied and had her own name used as a tool for her tormentors to pick on her to the point where she lost so much confidence in herself.

That was exactly me growing up! But like Willow I eventually found my people who loved me for who I was and I'm so protective and caring for them. Watching this character confront her bullies, showing she's capable as a witch, happier, thriving and going after she wants is something I wish I could have done more as a kid. Seeing this show as a nerdy, plant loving, plus size girl I feel seen in this fictional character.

I can also see why many love her because she wasn't forced to have a romantic interest like so many female protagonists that Disney and other cartoons that liked to force this down our throats. Seeing this trend decline in recent years is very refreshing indeed.

But when it comes to TOH, I noticed Dana likes to surprise us with the unexpected.

So about the recent episode with Hunter...the division and arguments coming from this ship war surprised me.

Twelve year old me had so many crushes on fictional characters from anime, movies, and not going to lie I had a thing for Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. But deep down, I was disappointed because I never saw any girl that looked like me or Willow get shipped with any character, male or female. So much media likes to show the cute, nerdy, fat friend as just a side character/friend of the hero and nothing more. No love interest. No positive messages of "guys can like chubby girls too." Nothing.

So when this episode dropped and all of the hype over Winter/Huntlow came out, I was happy. Happy because of how far things have come and knowing other girls who like Willow for the same reasons I do are happy too.

Yet, here you guys are making up excuses as to why they can't happen. Yes, he's a little older than her. Yes, he's got to go through some serious mental health work. Yes, he's got issues. Yes, he might be a freaking clone doll Grimwalker and he might go through an existential crisis.

But the point is, Willow is a good influence on him and he has shared parallels to her that she understands. Plus she should be allowed have anyone she wants if she goes for it! And if you look at the symbolism between Flapjack being a cardinal, a bird of change and finding your own path, and Willow's name being a tree of healing, hope, safety and FREEDOM, then the signs are pretty clear of the two biggest influences on his redemption arc.

I can see them as a best friends first then romance later. At the same time, I am a hopeless romantic and think they'd be cute together.

But if it is Dana's will to make them endgame canon ship you guys should start praising and less hating. Let people ship them peacefully, please.

#the owl house #dana terrace #willow park #hunter the golden guard #toh #winter #huntlow #long post #toh spoilers #just wanted to get my thoughts out

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bowl-of-shortness · 3 years

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*Sending this anonymously since I'm not out* (please don't try to out me, I will cry. If you think you might know who I am, pls don't ask if you're right. I have anxiety and I'm scared to share this as is)

So what you said about being asexual and demiromantic and not feeling like you can contribute to conversations, I FELT that.

I feel like the only way to join conversations about attractive people is by lying. I feel so guilty because I have never figured out what else to do. They all just look like people?

I've literally created a checklist in my head of society's standards because I have no idea what else to judge on. Calling everyone beautiful feels so fake but to me they just... are. People are only "ugly" to me when they're mean. Like to me, beauty is based on personality and I dont understand how other people do it. How can you rate a face without a story? (Like I can only do that when I assume things about people's lives based on their looks??? And it's normally wrong assumptions because "don't judge people based off looks alone" is correct??? Yet people just... do this? Like "they're hot" but isn't that what you're not supposed to do, like???)

I recently came out to my best friends as ace, and even then, they still bring it up every time they're rating people or talking attractive characters, as in the "we know you have no opinion or whatever" and I hate it. Like now that they know I'm ace, it feels like they're actively pushing me out of conversations or want to see what an ace rates them as. (They wouldn't if I asked, but it's kinda fun to participate, I feel more normal. Even if I am just lying) I feel a bit uncomfortable rating people because they think it's based of asthetics but to me I'm just making up numbers. (Its less lying now that they know I'm not sexually attracted to people, but it still hurts. It's nice that they recognize I don't relate and I'm not banning a conversation topic, it just hurts and I'll just take it silently instead of making a fuss. I guess this is just what I was just born to endure, huh.)

Literally, people used to ask me if my ex (SO at the time) was cute or whatever and I always said yes. I was making it up because ya know, I didn't feel that way. I had NO sexual attraction to them but I sold that lie to be normal. I finally came to terms with the fact that I am asexual recently, almost a year to the date I broke up with the only SO I ever forced myself to have. (That tale is a tragedy and I have massive amounts of guilt for the lies I told them to sell that I was a normal hetero cis person. I did so much wrong by them and I hope someday I can forgive myself for it.)

I thought I was bi when I first let myself belive I'm not a normal straight because I felt the same level of attraction across the gender spectrum. (I accepted how I felt about the person of the opposite gender was a crush and then realized I felt the same way about someone of the same gender. That was a crisis) Zero equals zero, wasn't really lying.

Anyway, all that to say that:

You are valid and realateable AF. Conversations about attraction is so uncomfortable and isolating and I'm so thankful you're brave enough to bring it up

I'm also really trying to figure out if I'm panromantic, or demiromantic, or whatever and I'm unsure what to do. Why can't there just be an accurate uquiz.... :(

Like, I think I may be demi something because I have literally only ever had "crushes" on my best friends. I'm not 100% sure what a crush is, but I'm assuming that when I tell myself "don't think of your friends like that, that's wierd" that I'm just mad at myself for acquiring a crush on my bestie.

I have no one to talk to about this because they are firm believers in not dating friends (both have been burned) and I am terrified they'll find out that I can't imagine a relationship with anyone other than a best friend. Like what do I do? I'm so tired fam. I don't think they will be mad if I tell them I'm demi romantic (I'm currently going with panromantic since that just seems easier) and I'm scared they'll find out I realized my sexuality through crushed I had on them, since they're opposite genders and I've had the same "crush" on both of them.

Only wanting romance with friends is so hard because to most people, friends aren't for dating but for talking about potential dates and I hate it.

It's nice to know that I'm following a fellow ace person who gets the romantic struggle. I think you're an icon, and I'm glad that you're in a place where you can be out.

I know we're not close or anything, but I'm really happy to know that there's someone else out there who I can relate to when I can't say a word anywhere else. I hate keeping up the charade, but I'm not in the kind of place where I can drop it. If you're interested in my situation and why I'm forever closeted, I've got quite the tale. but I've ranted enough here. (I won't force my life story on you, I know you want a positive blog and this ramble isn't very positive. I can shut up and vanish if you never want to hear from me again)

Thanks for having your anons on <3

I wish I could dm you and just chat (if you were even interested) but I can't (IRL people know my Tumblr and I dont want to make a new one unless it's necessary.) If there's anything you wanna chat about, I hope I stumble across it on my dash. I hope its okay if I hide behind anon asks.

Thanks for representing people like me. Sorry for the ramble, I guess I needed to get more off my mind than I realized. Thanks for being a safe space to vibe for a while. It's nice to be around other, perfectly valid people like me. I look up to you in a sense ♡

(But seriously, if this is too much drama and you don't want me to do this again, you don't even need to post this I won't bother you again without your consent)

I- wow.

That’s really all I can say.

I’m very glad that you feel just as recognized here as an asexual as you should be. And I know what every single one of these struggles is like. Personally, I never Liked to force things onto myself which has been Both a blessing and a curse.

It’s great because I don’t have to deal with a relationship but over time people stop wanting to be around you for it. But eventually, I found a friend group who respected what I did and didn’t want to talk about. And unfortunately even though some people may be nice and friendly to you, that doesn’t mean that you and that person are going to click.

I think you might want to start being more open about not wanting to talk about these things when you’re around them, and if that’s scary and difficult, start small. I get it. But the more you stay quiet and the more morning is going to change.

So yea, I don’t mind the ask! I guess I didn’t even realize that me just openly existing as Aspec was a huge thing to a lot of people, so I’m glad I could help, I hope everything gets better for you anon. Have a lovely day/afternoon/evening 💖💖💖

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robynthomsonnapierfilm · 3 years

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'You Will Never Walk Alone' - documentary film

1. Planning/Filming

Jagoda had some film maker friends in Poland so we got them to record footage of the protests, people raying, the ant-abortion propaganda, and whatever else was happening at the time in Poland involving the new abortion laws.

Once we received this footage it felt like we were finally in a good place to start officially bouncing around ideas and thinking about the narrative we wanted. Through various meetings with Sana, she suggested the idea that Jagoda should play more of a prominent part in the documentary than we had originally intended - especially because it was her voice we would be seeing throughout. At first we were uncertain, as we feared having her seen throughout might take away from the topic and seem to centred around her, rather than the crisis as a whole. Nevertheless, we went on to film various bits and peaces involving Jagoda (i.e. her painting the symbols you see at the end of the doc, her around Edinburgh, etc.)

In the end, I am so glad we went for the decision to have her more present in the doc, as I feel it makes the voice over feel far more emotionally driven and heightens this feeling of helplessness due to seeing Jagoda in Edinburgh and far from the protests happening in Poland.

2. Editing Footage/Sound/Colour

Laura did such an amazing job of editing our documentary! She was so efficient with it and was great at taking in any notes and feedback given to her from both Sana/Leo, and Jagoda and I. I am so happy with our combination of archive footage and our own personal footage, as well as the screenshots of social media, as I feel this mix of various formats makes the documentary far more interesting and diverse, and gave it a nice balance.

Once we had picture lock, it was my turn to edit the sound. Unfortunately, we had quite a struggle with exporting the project from Laura's laptop to mine. Solving this problem shaved a number of days off of the amount of time we had left to edit sound and colour grade, which was disappointing as I felt I maybe didn't have enough time as I would have liked to experiment with different sounds. In the end though, I am very happy with what I managed to accomplish in the time I had considering I ran into issues with sounds randomly disappearing, on top of learning how to use the software for the first time! Throughout the sound editing process, I would send my drafts back and forth to Jagoda, Laura, and Leo, who would give me really helpful feedback. (couldn't have done it with ought you guys :) )

Once the sound was locked alongside the picture, it was sent off to Jagoda to colour grade.

3. The Crit

Jagoda, Laura and I couldn't have been more pleased with the feedback we received from Sana, Leo and the rest of the class during the crit. We went into it slightly nervous to hear what people had to say, but everyone was so enthusiastic and kind about our work!

Here are some examples of what was said:

"i dont even know what to say, i loved this film! my main critique is a small thing about the typing sounds behind the date 'october 22nd' they didnt sync and i think even if they had they wouldn't be necessary, i also wanted to share that i loved the shot at the end with the umberella and subtitle about 'a bloody revolution' and i want it on my wall"

"I was impressed at the balance between the informational parts and the personal parts. I loved the bit where all of the instragram posts popped up. It was powerful and informative."

"What an incredible film. All of these elements are so striking on their own but the relationship between all of them together is so, so so powerful. I cried throughout. The sense of urgency established by that switch from old-distant-archive to the social media notifications is brilliant. Jagoda's voiceover is so touching and her delivery of it, too. Something that stands out for me is the titles; I think the horror style of them is still great but the font just takes me out a bit. I also think the symbols don't need to be explained - I also think there's power in knowing and not being told. Like the ability to recognise these symbols is a testament to the experience? Idk, like "if you know you know"

"I am blown away. It was like watching something straight off of VICE !! I like decision to avoid music, I think it really grounded the film. The way Jagoda's voice over established the culture and the dramatic shift to talk of revolution at the end is incredibly powerful"

"This was a very powerful film. It really portrayed the female experience incredibly powerfully. I love the decision to have most of it be in polish and think it would have maybe be more impactful to have the entire film in polish? My only notes is i think the edit could be tightened up a bit to be more concise. I think the sound design could have been utilised more to really up the intensity of the riot and protests so we can hear the sound of everything we are seeing (sirens etc). I also though the credits could have been slowed down a bit and have the screen academy logo move at the same speed as the rest of the credits (although I think that wasn't you) Overalll it's fantacstic, moving, important and powerfull. Absolutely something to be proud of."

Along with all of these lovely positives, there was also some - I wouldn't say negatives? - constructive criticism! (that sounds less harsh) This includes:

The typing sounds I added over the words 'OCTOBER 22ND 2020' should be accurately synced with the speed at which the letters appear on screen.

People didn't seem to be keen on the font as they felt it was too 'horror-like' for our documentary. I personally both agree and disagree with this feedback. Part of me completely sees what they mean, as it may be a tad too 'in your face', which takes you out of the doc, since Jagoda's voice over is pretty soft and I didn't go too over the top with sound. on the other other hand, I like that it gives our doc that edge, since I feel as if the subject matter is pretty brutal and this scary font adds to that. Although it could be seen as a little out of touch so I am happy for us to change this.

The edit could be tightened up and made to be a tad more concise.

The sound design could be more intense - especially over the protest sounds as they were a bit lacking considering how busy and 'loud' the shots looked. When editing the sound, this did cross my mind, but I was scared to go too over the top with sound incase it was overbearing for Jagoda's voice over. However, now that I know people feel this way I will be more confident with the sound when going back into it in future.

The credits can be made longer so they move up screen slower, as now they are too quick for people to read them easily.

The voiceover's should be a bit louder.

Overall, I am super proud of what we managed to achieve when taking into consideration the time constraints, technical difficulties we faced, the fact we weren't in Poland to make a documentary ABOUT Poland, and of course... covid.

Thank you so much to Jagoda, Laura, Sana, Leo, and to the class for their kind words :)

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