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gooberino · 1 year

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Thoughts on fictional dads and childhood trauma part 1

Gonna get pretty personal for a moment, and talk about my childhood trauma so scroll past if that's not something you can handle rn <3 Just want to have this written down somewhere.

Been thinking about why I obsess over fictional dilfs so much while I have a pretty dysfunctional relationship with my own father. Growing up my father was not a loving and caring person, he very much had the pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep your emotions to yourself attitude. For himself, me and my family. He was insulting, mean, rarely ever gave praise, and everything we did as a family was controlled by him. We were expected to make HIM happy, and he got upset when we didn't fit his mold of a perfect family.

I don't think you understand how frustrating it is being 22 and your dad STILL being unable to take accountability for his past actions. While still craving the affection and validation of that same awful person.

I can remember getting dizzy and throwing up on a bike ride, and my dad angrily pushing me to keep going when I wanted to go back home to rest up. Then the following day we went on another bike ride to appease him.

I can remember my sister crying to me that he had threatened to break her dogs neck if she didn't get her shit together. (She was struggling with money and mental problems at the time from my memory.)

I can remember holding back tears when he was trying to teach me math and would make fun of me and insult me when I couldn't solve a problem.

I could fill a book with the amount of traumatic and dysfunctional ways he's behaved towards me and my family. The bottom line is nothing is good enough for him. No matter what accomplishment you tried to share, there was always something you could do to make it better. The walk should be multiple hours to count as a "good" walk. You need to live life with an education and a well paying job to be considered valid etc.

To then have your siblings and mother who are all just as traumatized be able to forgive him and willingly accept him in their life. It's isolating and it hurts. How can you just forgive someone who's caused you so much grief? I want to participate in my family but it's immensely difficult when I struggle to relate to them and my dad is still incredibly present in it, still being unchallenged on his views.

Now that's my dad and how he's traumatized me. But how did that affect me later on and most interesting how on earth does that connect to obsessing over fictional dads!?

I'll get to it in the next post, if you genuinely read everything I had to say I really appreciate you! <3

#trauma dump #vent tw #vent #tw vent #vent post #daddy issues #childhood trauma #fictional dilfs

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thedancingcockroach134 · 6 months

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Human Tito x Reader pt. 2

Chapter 4: Try staying away

A few minutes later, Jerry called his whole gang to present his plan. You payed attention as he gave the schedules of how or where. You notice Tito really bored and upset at the same time for some reason. You realize that Tito didn't look very down and bored when y'all were in his room. You get the pictures in your head and realize he was actually trying to r4pe you as he was taking off your clothes that time and touching you in areas. You decide that you should probably stay away from him since if he's your best friend and crush, why would he try doing that? It's like sex is the only thing that keeps him from getting upset. You start questioning yourself like: "Did he r4pe people?" Or "Is this a normal thing he does to his best friends?" You feel better staying away from him as far as possible. As Jerry was done planning all that stuff to find ways of escaping, Tito comes up to you and ask you a question. "Do you wanna go back to my room, Y/N?" You respond with something serious. "Why did you do all that to me? I-I-I'm your best friend, Tito! It's like you actually found a way to distract me by making me thing about something else with all that...touching...whatever you were doing! I couldn't even stop myself because I trusted every single word you said to me in your room! I-I'll just hang with the other's for a while.." You walk away as you actually felt like you shouldn't have probably said all that.

Chapter 5: ✨oZzIe TiMe✨

You decide to hang out with Ozzie as he was playing with blocks alone. He was the only person in the whole Institute that only had toys since he's autistic. You sit next to Ozzie's note book and pencil to see if he'll notice you. He looks the other way and gasped in fear. He started to write down in his journal: "Hi, Y/N! I jumped right now because you scared me." You asked Ozzie a question. "Where did you get that note book from? I never seen you have it." He writes down: "They gave this to me today so I won't have to keep using paper. Pretty smart, to be honest. Do you agree?" You nod. You look down and feel very scared to go near Tito again. Ozzie looks at you and starts writing down: "Are you okay?" You respond. "Yes, I promise." He writes down: "Are you sure?" You think to yourself and ask: "Am I sure?" You decide to change the subject. "Hey, I remember Jerry telling me that your favorite subject is math, do you wanna solve some math problems?" Ozzie smiles and claps his hands as he nods. You give him problems to solve like algebra, the quadratic formula, division, fractions, decimals, and so much more. You're very surprised that he gets at least all of them correct.

Chapter 6: Staring at me

Staying away from Tito for 2 whole weeks felt very hard to you for some reason. No matter how hard he tried getting your attention or talked to you, you ignored him, completely. Even though you stayed away from him, you still had love for him. You tried finding ways for him to get out of your mind and try finding new crushes, it never worked. Although, he's been staring at you for a very long time. You were hanging out with Cammy and Sara while he was staring at you. After a very long time, you finally had the courage to talk to him. "Why do you keep staring at me? What do you want me to do? Boo? Scare you or something?" He still felt very upset. "What? I can't stare at people? You don't controll me or anything." Sara decides to ask you. "Y/N, is something wrong? Did something happen with both of y'all?" You shake your head. "No, I-It's fine." You still feel very creeped out as you can feel Tito staring at you. You start shaking as you think you're gonna be stalked or hunted. You were pissed about it and decided to reply. "How about we move over there?"

✨ pArT 3 cOmInG sOoN ✨

#willys wonderland #tito turtle #x reader #im dumb

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