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silverbladexyz · 3 months

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HIII I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVED UR UNREQUITED LOVE FICS I ATE THOSE UP SO GOOD

this isnt a request btw just some food for thought but how do u think chuuya and yasuko would react if reader came back but they werent exactly. themselves yk? like they got revived but almost like a sentient doll with no memories of the past? do you think they would leave the reader alone or would they try to reconnect with the reader ? again this isnt a request im just curious because sometimes my daydreams take a sudden turn !!! :D

HIII ANON AJSSHHSH AND I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY BETTER 🥺🥺💞

And oooh... actually, I have already been thinking about making a bonus part similiar to your idea :) I just haven't had the time and creativeness to write it recently since school is keeping me very busy😭

BUT in response to your question, I think Chuuya might initially keep his distance from the reader first. Partly because he blames himself for their death because he didn't finish his mission sooner, and also partly because he doesn't want to lose them again. It hurts him a lot, but he convinces himself that it's the best decision to make to keep reader safe. However, I can see him secretly keeping a close eye on them so that if they were in danger, he could save them this time and not make the same mistake twice (Chuuya honey it wasn't your fault ajshahs 😭)

Then after bumping into him a few times, you wonder sometimes; why does this ginger-haired man seem so achingly familiar? And why did you feel this pain in your heart whenever you looked at him? Almost as if... he was a past lover you never got to be together with. But you shrug it off; there was no way you could've known such a handsome and rich man in your life, because if you did, you'd be sure to remember him for eternity ashajhhasj

Whilst Yasuko would feel immensely guilty upon seeing you. Even as you tilt your head to innocently inquire what was wrong, she can't bring herself to articulate all the shame, sorrow, and remorse that she felt ever since the day you died. I can see her accidentally forming a sort-of friendship with your revived self, but also keeping you at an arm's length because she thinks that she doesn't deserve to even call you as her friend. Half of her wants to atone for the wrongdoings she committed against you in the past, but the other half wants her to suffer with your unawareness because it's all her fault that you were gone. However, I can totally see her trying to get you and Chuuya together in this life 👀 wingwoman Yasuko for the win

Anyways, I can see both of them keeping their distance while also trying to rekindle those pleasant memories with you. But sooner or later, you'll come to question why they treated you differently from the rest of their friends. And when you confront them about it, maybe then you'll finally learn the painful truth as it all pours out of Yasuko's lips. What you do afterwards is all up to you.

WHEWW sorry for making that kinda angsty :') but hey, at least reader has a chance with Chuuya now. Just that they'll have to break down all those walls he has formed around himself, and finally win his heart that their past self never got the chance to hold. While Yasuko, Dazai, and the PM will be wingmanning the entire way.

I hope this was able to answer your question anon! :D

#silverbladexyz #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #unrequited love fic #angsty but happy ending?#hope you guys liked this hehe #ask #lovely anon

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bunglegaydogs · 11 months

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Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3

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nebulouscoffee · 10 months

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That scene between Tuvok and B'Elanna from 'Resistance' wrecks me actually... It's such a great moment for both characters (and actors, Tim Russ is SO underrated ugh) which highlights the differences between the two of them so well- yet, ultimately shows that under certain circumstances (in this case, torture) the distinctions between people... don't really matter. In an episode full of political violence, this moment is so significant, and I don't even really think I have the smarts to articulate why but I'll try lol.

TORRES: We told you already. We don't know anything about the Resistance. AUGRIS: I've heard that many times, from many people. Take him. (The forcefield is lowered, and Torres grabs the guard that steps through.) TUVOK: Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us. AUGRIS: He's right.

Everything about the way this scene (and the final shot where she's shoved back into her seat) is framed makes B'Elanna appear small, helpless- and embarrassed at her own helplessness- in that cell. We see her fidgeting, unable to sit down, constantly trying to break out or improvise her way out of the situation (she gets electrocuted earlier while trying to tamper with the circuitry)- it makes me wonder whether Tuvok was chosen to be tortured not because they believed he was more likely to have information, but because B'Elanna was more likely to be demoralised watching helplessly as he's dragged off. Augris's line implies that he's "broken" a great many people in the past; a tactic to instil fear and a helpless sense of inevitability in them both (torture doesn't work as a reliable way of extracting information; this is stated in dialogue in other Trek episodes such as 'Chain of Command' so the assertion here is at least not that- but what it does do is demoralise the public involved in resistances like this one.)

Later, B'Elanna is still trying to escape (do the guards know she's doing this? Are they just not intervening?) and she hears him screaming. Tuvok is someone who considers letting others witness him lose control over his exterior a huge (indecent, violating, humiliating) vulnerability, and the fact that he's the one being tortured is Not Insignificant in this context but like- it could've been the other way round. And B'Elanna knows that. It could've been her, and perhaps a small, scared part of her is relieved that it wasn't her, which is an awful way to feel (and if there's one thing B'Elanna hates, it's feeling like a coward). Also- the sheer violation of this, for B'Elanna to have witnessed him in this state, against her will- to later see him bloodied and weakened and flung in a cell, to have heard him screaming in pain- without his consent, knowing she can never un-witness it, knowing it wasn't her fault but still being put in such a situation where she has now played that role... Does this experience forcibly rewrite their respective conceptualisations of each other? Was Tuvok even thinking of her- somewhere outside, listening, worrying, blaming herself, fearing for herself, feeling ashamed, feeling so aware of him and her and the shared humiliation of this- when he was in there? Did seeing her upon coming back out change things? Could it ever change things? Did her presence, even as an outsider, whose memories of this event will always be (visually, at least) the constructs of her imagination- somehow make what happened in there real? Does her role as witness- and her memory thereby carrying some sort of legitimisation of what happened to him now, however warped and coloured by her own perspective and fears and embarrassment- make things better for Tuvok? Does it make things worse? Would he rather have endured this in secret? Would it have been better if she were a total stranger? Would it have been worse? And does any of this even matter when, for a moment, your life (your personhood, your goals, your presence) was completely reduced to what you "must endure"?

AUGRIS: We don't have to ask your friend any more questions, if you give us the answers. TORRES: I told you I don't. (Torres stops herself from hitting Augris, who leaves.) TORRES: I'm sorry. I guess I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us. That you were able to block it out somehow. Until I heard. Was that you I heard?

And the way B'Elanna's voice breaks when she asks this, as if she was still somehow hoping the answer would be no... There are complexities to this which again I don't feel like I'm smart enough to articulate, but like- yes, B'Elanna would like to hear that it wasn't him because that would mean her friend wasn't tortured "that badly", he wasn't put through "enough pain" to scream that way, and it's easier and more comfortable to think of violence (and violation) as something you can rank on a scale, and the lower on it Tuvok's experience ranks, the better! the more easy it will be for them to "move past" this! - but also, there's this element of "I want the answer to be no because that would mean I would not have been a participant in your humiliation, just some stranger's whose voice I don't have a face to put to, which is much better than having to know what you (my friend, my colleague, my respected senior officer, someone I will have to see every day on the bridge, someone I know prefers to keep vulnerabilities hidden even deeper than anyone else I know) sound like when you scream. But also... it doesn't really matter, does it...? Whatever he says, there always was still a moment- however brief- where B'Elanna heard a man screaming in agony, and thought it could've been Tuvok. And in that moment, that possibility was created. Now, it will always exist. That moment will always have happened. It will always have done something to her. It will always exist between them; an ugly, uncomfortable bond.

And this is getting into even more things I'm not smart enough to articulate, but like- it's pretty significant to me that B'Elanna is one of the few characters who never actually tries to poke Tuvok into Doing An Emotion, even normally. She doesn't consider trying to get him to crack an entertaining pastime, unlike others (and I'm sure her experiences of feeling like an outsider- always- feeling Very Visible As Klingon, play a role in this- "all they ever saw was my forehead" does not lend itself so kindly to "let's see if we can get Mr. Vulcan to smile", "why, Tuvok, it seems you've been corrupted by Human (read: default) rituals after all!"- it's a light-hearted joke for many, sure, but what if Tuvok genuinely considers the idea of smiling in the presence of others reflective of a humiliating loss of control and deeply debasing?) I think it's pretty clear from canon that he's just being himself; he's not trying to be a killjoy or trying to be mean, he's just Vulcan. And this is one of the few moments in Trek I can think of when a Vulcan's perceived "control" over their emotions is not connected with their reluctance to laugh or cry or say something sentimental, but... this. B'Elanna is shocked, she's horrified, she demands an explanation as to how he can possibly go through something like this and not feel the desire to "fight back" in a way she understands- and the way she cannot grant him the pretence of not having witnessed, here, the way she can't just shove this in a box, pretend she never heard, because she's just so fundamentally honest- and Tuvok (who is also so fundamentally honest), in a painful moment of openness, tells her exactly what his reasoning is. He lets her see. He lets her hear; on his own terms. He wants for her to understand (for her to witness?) his (very Vulcan) distinction between resistance and endurance; his understanding of endurance as its own form of resistance. Idk it's such a quietly powerful and like- devastating- moment for me... So many people try, over and over, thoughout the show, to get Tuvok to break his Vulcansona- try to make him smile, make him say tender things, make him get irritated- just to see if they can do it. Just to see if he'll ever crack. I bet B'Elanna wishes she never had.

#sometimes I write essays NOT at 3am! haha #cw torture mention #I'm also thinking (of course) about that scene between g@rak and 0do in The Die Is Cast #which is slightly different (but only in terms of technicalities) as a case of Torturer As Witness #it's not just the physical discomfort that thingamabob puts 0do through that's torture ofc #it is very much g@rak's PRESENCE in that room #they didn't bring up the whole ''his eyes'' thing for nothing #it is very much about Being Seen (and being Watched and Witnessed and Observed)#in a moment so humiliating and (for lack of a better term) dehumanising #also it is heavily implied that g@rak volunteered to do this not only to prove to Tain (but mostly to himself) that he still could #but also out of a sort of protectiveness over 0do #there's this element of ''I'm doing this so someone worse than me doesn't do it instead because they will likely kill you'' denial/self-#justification? which ultimately makes the scene about g@rak (and his own moment of ''breaking'')#and not 0do (would 0do have preferred to ''break'' in front of a total stranger? we don't know! it's irrelevant! and that irrelevance is #possibly the most violent thing about that whole sequence phew)#something something Presence As Violence something wish I could word this more intelligently ugh #I keep thinking of stuff that happens (casually) in police stations around me all the time...#voy

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daechwitatamic · 1 year

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I'm so glad you responded with all that you did. Thank you for the taking the time to!

You are absolutely right that Taehyung is not perfect and that there are many people like this who just immediately react with anger when they are confronted with other, more vulnerable emotions that they don't know how to properly process (i.e. most men!). I love that you gave us a peak into the inner thoughts and triggers that were driving this reaction, and I will gladly read more.

You articulated in a much better way than I did exactly why I was saying before that Namjoon and Y/N handled this so beautifully. They are the perfect foils for Taehyung in this story because they do not let their emotions get the better of them. They still feel things like jealousy, but they stop and think before they throw out harsh words or actions. Namjoon could've lashed out with "was is everything you hoped for?" He thought it! But before he let something fly out of his mouth he might regret, he thought better of it. He reflected on Y/N's word and actions as a whole instead of this singular moment he saw to put things into perspective.

You are also absolutely right that Taehyung wasn't necessarily nasty to Y/N in the hallway. I thought about this a lot... what if Namjoon wasn't there, would Taehyung and Y/N have had a totally different conversation? Was he prepared to have a more mature, vulnerable, apologetic conversation but then Namjoon set him off? Let's all imagine the timeline in the multiverse where this happened. 🤔

And damn, shots fired at Y/N because you are right, she did sort of lie to him by claiming things are the same as they've always been. BUT I had interpreted this as her calling him out on the lie that has been between them the whole time. At face value, the facade they've both been maintaining of being platonic best friends and pretending Y/N doesn't have feelings for him hasn't changed other, it's just now reality instead of a charade. For Taehyung to claim that things have changed is for him to sort of admit that he's known about her feelings for him all along, and it's fair for him to call him out on that.

As for a redemption arc, I am fully on board with you that I think there is probably not a path forward here for full absolution for Taehyung. His and Y/N's relationship will always be less after this, even if they do make up. I think what my heart wants for him is a better understanding of the thoughts and emotions behind his actions that paint a more sympathetic picture than 'I'm a toddler who is acting out because someone took my favorite toy'. And perhaps, if I may be so greedy, some self-reflection on his part where he realizes how he has wronged Y/N not just now, but over the past years, and perhaps learns from this experience to do better going forward.

Also I constantly think about this... DOES Taehyung love her?! I think he definitely loves her as a friend, but I think he might be a little bit romantically in love with her too. And I think as Namjoon astutely pointed out, it might just not be the right kind or way of loving. And I would love to see him grapple with this more.

Regardless of whether or not Taehyung loves Y/N, I love you!!! Sorry for writing so many paragraphs again and overtaking your entire blog. Have a great weekend!

🌴

listen listen i love our discourse so much i literally talk to other people about it. @casuallyimagining says she loves you too.

yes yes yes Namjoon is a foil to Taehyung through this WHOLE story in MANY ways and now as she gets further from her past/habits and more in it with Joon reader is realizing she is more different than she thought, too.

"what if Namjoon wasn't there, would Taehyung and Y/N have had a totally different conversation?" BESTIE YES!!!!! If Namjoon hadn't answered the door with "you need to leave her alone", that whoooooooole thing would have gone differently. i think if reader had answered the door, taehyung would have about fallen to his knees in apology. but he ALSO might have then tried to tell her he loves her and he wants her... and as Namjoon pointed out... that just ain't it.

"I had interpreted this as her calling him out on the lie that has been between them the whole time" I literally went OHHHHHHHHHHHH out loud when i read this. your brain!!! this was not what i intended when i wrote this!! but i am obsessed with the idea!!!!! i meant her to genuinely be trying to tell him 'we'll stay best friends, we'll still hang out'. when taehyung claims things have changed - YOU'RE RIGHT - he means "they've changed because you don't love me now". so, yeah, he's admitting he knew, but i'm not sure oc clocked that because I* barely clocked that i wrote that lmfao. hmmmmm interesting.

i'm not gonna say anything about the rest because i am TRYING not to spoil my own ending!!!! but!!!!! i see your thoughts!!!! and i am thinkin thoughts about those thoughts!!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 pls come by any time with your always astute paragraphs, they make me SO happy

#🌴 anon #my heart to reply

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celestie0 · 11 days

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nooo I completely agree with you about ttpd

I feel like a lot of the tracks sounded too similar and there wasn't much experimentation (??)

which I think is a problem with the whole double album thing SWIFTIES DONT COME FOR ME I LOVE HOW SHE GAVE US TWO ALBUMS LIKE THANKS FOR FEEDING US MOTHER but idk I feel like there could've been more effort put into the instrumentals and because there were just too many songs she probably didn’t have much time to focus on each of them (assuming that she originally planned the double album thing from the very beginning)

still a pretty banger album tho but I deffo expected more

- 🫶anon

(pt2) ok wait maybe I shouldn’t be too harsh on her bc I saw someone on tiktok say they’re terrified of taylor retiring soon and that comment made me scared too 😕

yes yes i agree w you def on how there wasnt much experimentation!! at least that’s how i fell about most of the first half :/ like…the instrumentals were really boring and just generic synth pop, also her vocals were sooo flat like i was kind of scared ab that bc i felt like her vocals on speak now tv were a lil lackluster as well (like theres no change in inflection? or ig the attitude in her voice she used to have that kept it lively? i get a more laid back singing style works for some songs but she be singing like that a lil too much for my taste hhaha)

there are exceptions to this though in the 2nd half, like imgonnagetyouback vocals were SO GOOD i loved the way she articulated the lyrics in that one. but overall 2nd half of album was a lot better n more experimental n risk taking than the first half, and the songs that i DID like were like top tier swift imo haha but a lot of the songs i just dont care for at all

but yea totally agree w you i think w this album she did a lot of quantity over quality?? like if she honed more in on certain songs and cleaned up the album for it to be a bit more concise it would’ve been a nicer release 🤷🏻‍♀️ but oh well

but the LYRICS for the most part are great n yea overall i still think it’s a good album

ALSO idk if blondie will ever retire 😂😂 music is literally her lifeline. she might take a break from touring tho

- ellie 💕

#asks #ttpd #🫶🏼 anon

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saving-people-haunting-things · 8 months

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I'm not one of the people who really hates late seasons, but like I definitely think there's been a downgrade in s12 and s13 (haven't watched s14 or s15 yet). Idk quite how to articulate why I feel this way, but I think it has something to do with how the story and the characters are presented. Like s12 and s13 have more stuff happening while also having far less substance.

In s1 it was mostly MOTW episodes, but every single episode you learned something new about the brothers and how it affected their relationship. That stays true for most of the early seasons. Then there started to be far more complex overarching plots like the Apocalypse in s4 and s5 or the MoC stuff in s9 and s10 and other things. I think the main thing that distinguishes them from s12 and s13 is how those arcs all contribute to Sam and Dean's characters and their relationship with each other.

Some people may dislike Carver era (I don't), but it did a really good job at having all of the conflicts (except for some of the angel stuff that was Cas' problem) circle back to the characters. The Trials were deeply interconnected with both Sam and Dean's mental states, and the MoC explored Dean's relationship with helplessness and anger and violence. That plot culminated in Sam letting the Darkness be released which proved Sam was lying in s9 when he claimed he wouldn't do extremely questionable things to save Dean. These seasons had more overarching plot but they all fit into building up the brothers' relationship.

S12 has three main plot lines: Mary, BMoL, and Lucifer/Lucifer's baby. The frustrating thing with s12 is that those plots all have potential. Lucifer being back was a great time to explore Sam's headspace, especially since they'd been forced to ally with Lucifer at the end of s11. They could've had personal moments, but instead they went for the grand "the devil possesses the president and sires a super powerful mindcontrolling baby" route which, yeah, is more dramatic, I guess, but it doesn't tell us anything new about Sam or build his relationships further. s5 had this through line about Sam's deep inner anger and resentment and how that connected to Lucifer. While possessed at the end of the season, Lucifer makes him kill a bunch of demons who've been helping him be controlled his entire life and he was scared but he also enjoyed it. That's what made his relationship with Lucifer interesting. s7 has a thing about Sam "letting him in" and s11 dances around that before he refuses to be his vessel again. In s12 Sam is much less angry with the world and in a far more stable place in his life, there's a lot to say about how he'd react to Lucifer now and what do they do with it? Pretty much nothing. He looks scared when he's around him. Yes, it's very good acting on Jared's part and I'm glad for the crumbs, but there just isn't the actual integral-to-the-plot substance that there was in earlier seasons.

And then the brought back Mary! I may be in the minority, but I actually really liked the whole actually Mary kinda sucked too thing. There were hints of it in earlier episodes (mostly 5x16), but it was interesting to see how the boys reacted to her. There was a lot of characterization information in their relationship with her. How Sam tended to get along with her better, but Dean seemed more inclined to reach out. Dean's childish dreams that maybe if his mom was around his life would be better were crushed as he realized that Mary wasn't anything like he thought he remembered her to be (and that she was actually far more like him, even in some less positive ways). Sam trying to play family peacekeeper, a position he'd never had to take before. It culminates in Dean realizing that he blamed Mary for everything that had gone wrong in his life (even if it wasn't totally her fault) then forgiving her for making the deal to save John because he understands her (anyone else think of the moment in s5 when Sam tells young John that he forgave his father for everything because he now understands what it's like to go through a loss that breaks you?).

That's the sort of stuff that I fell in love with Supernatural for. It tells you about the brothers and their relationship with each other and with other people. Their relationship with Mary could've been one of the most interesting things the show did, except they bungled it by mashing it together with the BMoL plot. Instead of developing more of Sam and Mary's relationship or making it so that Dean's confrontation at the end of the season seemed less abrupt, they focused far more on the increasingly-cartoonish BMoL enemies. And it's not like there was nothing there with that plot. There was potential for commentary on the good of the many vs the good of the few and the existence of good monsters and shades of gray, but instead they made them be evil British people who brainwash people and torture them for no fucking reason. They establish that most of the operatives were abused and manipulated only to kill them all anyway (a really bad look when your good guys are supposed to save people and believe that some "monsters" can be changed). What does "evil British people" tell you about Sam and Dean? It's briefly mentioned that Sam wanted to just follow orders and not lead sometimes but only in one conversation and it's never explored again. They just go "oh we can help people" then "whoopsie we were right and they actually were totally evil lets go kill them!"

And s13 has the whole Jack thing which could be an exploration of nature vs nurture but instead they try so hard to make the audience like Jack that the subject is just barely touched on. Sam is projecting onto him but never has any self-awareness of it, and Dean gets over his rational if very harsh reservations within a few episodes. What does that tell us about them? It could say a lot, but instead they're making a man in his late twenties act like a toddler for sympathy points. I actually like Jack, but I kinda wish he'd earned it more. Idk I still have a ways to go with s13, maybe they do start engaging with the themes they've hinted at more. I've liked how they've discussed Dean's depression which has been present in the show for a long time (s7 dealt with it a lot), and I also liked how in 13x04 Sam blew up with his feelings about how he felt that he didn't have a connection with Mary and his desperation for that is part of why he (rightly) has hope that Mary's still alive. The alternate universe where they don't exist also gives room to explore their places in their own world.

Idk I think there's lots of room to build on their characters even after thirteen seasons. I just hope that they go with what they have and stay grounded in how things inform their relationships instead of going for the flashy "wow look how cool/grand in scale this is!" choices like they did in s12.

#s12 #s13 #my commentary

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quietpoeticheart · 4 years

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The Coffee Shop: Part Four: Part One

Summary: Bucky is a retired military veteran suffering from PTSD. He meets Avelyn, a headstrong entrepreneur, one day at her cafe with Steve and then everything changes.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Black! OC

Word Count: 1.7k+

Warnings: None

A/N: This is just a brief little fluffy filler which is half of the original chapter 4 that I couldn't finish because I just finished school exams and I'm probably going back to school just now despite Covid-19 so I haven't had much time to write. The next half of chapter 4 should be up in a week hopefully and it'll be a whole lot more interesting than this

PREVIOUS PART

Later that evening, an hour before closing, while Avelyn was taking a nap, she heard the bell for the shop go off and a knock at the door because she wasn't stupid to leave the door open. It was New York after all, she'd get robbed or worse kidnapped, not like her mother would mind if it happened.

"I'm coming." She yelled walking towards it. As she unlocked the door, a familiar figure bounded inside. "Were you sleeping on the job?" Morgan said.

Avelyn shrugged, "I'm my own boss. Why are you here?"

"I said I'd pick you up." Morgan stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah at nine. Its five."

"Well its nine somewhere, plus I remembered that I can't trust you to get ready on your own." Morgan wasn't lying, if left up to her, she'd go to the club in a pair of jeans. She was really over her socialite days but Morgan didn't exactly care, if Avelyn was going out with her, she'd look damn good.

Avelyn was grateful to have a best friend that cared about her wellbeing as much as Morgan did but at the same time, it did get a little frustrating and tiring because Morgan was pretty high maintenance at times.

"Fine, just lemme close up."

"Oh, so this is what it looks like when it's open, could've fooled me."

Avelyn rolled her eyes, "You're lucky I love you." As she moved behind the counter to organize her stuff, Morgan took a seat at the same stool Bucky was on earlier.

"So what are we gonna do about lover boy?"

Avelyn's eyes widened in panic, there was no way in hell she was letting Morgan get involved. She'd scare the boy off because the Starks weren't exactly known for being the most subtle people ever.

"There's no we in this Morgs unless you're speaking French."

Morgan glared at her, "Avelyn, you gotta stop shutting me out like this. All I ever do is try to help you and you just push me away. You've gotten away with the excuse of being busy with the shop for too long now, when the truth is, you're just like Bucky, everytime someone tries to care for you, you push them away and I'm getting tired of it."

As much as it stung to hear, Avelyn knew what Morgan was the truth. She felt like a hypocrite really, judging Bucky for the same thing she'd been doing for over a year.

Avelyn sighed, "I'm sorry Morgan. You're right, I shouldn't push you away like that. It's just hard with everything that's happened."

"Lynn, we've been friends for almost our entire lives. I know you better than you know you, it shouldn't be hard. Instead of making excuses, take accountability."

"I hate it when you're right." Avelyn said. Morgan rolled her eyes, "Ever since we met, I've always been right."

Avelyn thought back to the day when she first met Morgan.

It was the first day at her new kindergarten and Avelyn was incredibly nervous to be going to a new school. At school, she was called up to the front of the class by her teacher Ms. Birch to introduce herself.

"Hi, I'm Avelyn." That's all she could manage to get out in front the class. Ms. Birch had smiled gently at her and pointed to the only free seat, a red chair next to a pretty brown haired girl, "Go sit by Morgan."

Avelyn clutched her yellow backpack to her chest and reluctantly took the seat next to Morgan.

Morgan had smiled widely at her, "You were scared, weren't you?"

Avelyn nodded. Morgan was surprisingly articulate for her age but you couldn't expect less from the daughter of one of the smartest men in the world

"You don't speak much, do you?" Morgan asked.

Avelyn nodded again. To her, Morgan was intimidating, she was bold enough to start a conversation with someone she didn't even know. Oh, how she wished she could be like her.

"Well I talk enough for the both of us." She said, extending her hand, "I'm Morgan Stark and you are?"

"Avelyn Forsythe." Avelyn shyly took her hand and shook it.

"I think you and I are going to be great friends Avelyn Forsythe."

After that day, Avelyn and Morgan were practically inseparable. Her mother had been excited when she found out that Avelyn had made a friend, until she found out whose daughter Morgan was.

When she did, she tried everything to break up the friendship but the bond formed that day was inseparable and while Ava wasn't pleased, she ignored the friendship and avoided all unnecessary interaction with Morgan and after several very uncomfortable encounters at her house, Avelyn decided that it'd be best if she went to the Starks instead of letting Morgan come over.

Tony and Pepper, on the contrary were excited that Morgan had made a friend, because most of the other children were scared of her. Morgan had a tough shell but underneath that exterior, she was a total softie but most people didn't stick around long enough to find that out but Avelyn did and over the years, the Starks began to regard Avelyn as their own child, even letting her call them mom and dad.

When her own parents weren't there for her, Tony and Pepper were. For every fight with her parents and school dance, for her first date, boyfriend and heartbreak, for every birthday and Christmas, for every single event in her life, the Starks were there. Ava and Adam might have been her biological parents but Tony and Pepper were the ones who raised her into the woman she was.

"You're thinking about it too aren't you?" Morgan asked.

"About what?"

"The day we first met."

Avelyn had to admit that Morgan's sense of perception was annoyingly uncanny, "Yeah, I am. How'd you know?"

"Because I was thinking about it too." Morgan's voice was wistful and longing and in that moment, the air was thick with nostalgia. The memories of childhood innocence and naivete, of the happier days before the heartbreak and pain swirling around them and for the first time in a while, the coffee shop didn't seem so gray.

It was like the cloud of hopelessness and broken dreams surrounding the place had been lifted and Avelyn felt something in her chest, that hadn't been there in a while: the joy and hope she'd had the day she'd signed on the line to buy the shop.

The moment left as quickly as it came but Avelyn knew that something had changed.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled at Morgan, "Let's get out of here, we got a club that's calling our name."

"Now, that's the spirit Lynn." Morgan clapped her hands excitedly.

When Avelyn stepped around the counter, Morgan wrapped her hand in hers and began pulling her towards the door and despite all the craziness of the world, right then and there, it was like she and Morgan, were just two little kids running hand in hand on the playground, like they used to years ago.

"Thank you."

"Always."

When Morgan parked the Porsche in her driveway, Avelyn had never been more happy to get the hell out of a car. Morgan, just like her father drove like a maniac, she was pretty sure they'd committed at least fifteen driving offenses. The fact that they hadn't been pulled over was nothing short of a miracle.

"Now I remember why I don't get into cars with you." Avelyn gasped clutching her hand to her chest.

"Don't be such a baby Lynnie." Morgan rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a baby Morgs, you're just crazy."

Too caught up in their argument, they didn't even realise that Tony was walking towards them.

"Well, I see my car made it back in one piece."

Morgan shrugged, "I learnt to drive from you daddy."

"Which is exactly why I'm scared. Avelyn looks like you nearly killed her." Tony said taking in Avelyn's shaking form.

"Dad, I'm telling you she's a psychopath." Avelyn wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Tony smiled as he held her, "I missed you around here kiddo."

"I missed you guys too." In Tony's familiar arms, she felt at ease.

"Then maybe you should come round more often, you've always been my favorite child." Tony teased.

"Hey!" Morgan objected.

"I'm just joking Morgan, I love you both equally. Now why don't you kids run in and see your mom."

Walking into the Stark mansion was like coming home. The walls were covered in pictures of Tony, Pepper, Morgan and her, unlike her house where if you didn't know that Forsythes had a fifth child, no one would know about Avelyn.

As they walked towards the stairs, they heard the familiar clack of heels on the marble tiles and turned to see Pepper running towards them.

"Lynnie it's so good to see you again, I've missed you." Pepper squealed pulling Avelyn into a hug.

"I missed you too mom."

"How's the shop going?"

"Its honestly a mess." Morgan piped up. Avelyn turned and glared at her. Morgan shrugged innocently, "I'm just being honest."

"I wish you'd let us help you. We're more than willing." Pepper said gently.

Avelyn sighed, maybe it was time she put aside her pride and take the offer because if she didn't start making money soon, she'd lose the shop.

"I'll think about it, I promise."

Pepper smiled, "Good, do you girls want snacks or anything?"

Morgan rolled her eyes, "Mom, we're twenty six and going drinking, we do not need snacks."

"Lynn just make sure that she eats something. You know how she gets when she gets drunk on an empty stomach." Tony says walking into the room and pulling Pepper into a hug.

After holding back Morgan's hair in various club bathrooms for years and putting up with the crying and the extreme hangovers, Avelyn knew better and she mouthed a yes to Tony over Morgan's protests.

The familiarity of going out with her friends and just being back here with her family made Avelyn the happiest that she'd been in so long and internally she committed herself to having fun tonight because she deserved it. She swore not to think about her family or the shop or even Bucky but just to let loose and enjoy her first night out in over a year.

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I hope you enjoyed the chapter and my taglist is open if anyone wants to be tagged for this story or all of my fics.

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droidmom · 6 years

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Wash, Julia for the character ask thingy?

thenk u rachel

im just gonna throw this under a read more

Our Lord And Savior Lt. Alicia Washington

Sexuality Headcanon: I lean toward lesbian with her but ultimately a lil bi Gender Headcanon: she’s probs just rly gender indifferent. afab, IDs as a girl, but never fully identifies with it A ship I have with said character: au wash/ayani, non-au wash/mira A BROTP I have with said character: wash/taylor because im so weak for their history. could've been wash/elisabeth if we’d gotten more than 2 lines between them because the potential?? is so there?? think of all the stuff they could bond over, having to both deal with jim on a daily basis? and they’re also both people with a medical background so let them bond over that?? also wash and leah just because i always need to bring up wash and leah, even if it doesn’t totally fit brotp as much as it fits “i accidentally adopted a wild 8 year old who won’t stop following me around and i need to protect her at any cost” A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhhhh wash and jim. please never make me say their names so close together again A random headcanon: because she’s a combat medic who doesn’t like being vulnerable, she always insists on treating her own injuries even if she’s Literally Dying it’s like “it’s okay i got this! [slaps a bandaid on 4 broken ribs while coughing up blood]” because she’d also want more focus on anyone else who’s injured instead of supplies going to her when She Can Handle Herself She’s Fine. (spoiler: she isn’t fine.) so again, her and elisabeth’s relationship had potential in places like this where she is the Worst patient and elisabeth has to deal with it. General Opinion over said character: she’s alive and fine!! but by “fine” i mean her usual emotionally repressed self who dedicates every waking moment of her life to the colony and REALLY deserves a break but can’t take one or terra nova will fall apart. but she also uses her work as a way to avoid thinking about her own traumas so if she ever takes a day off, she’ll probs all apart too. also she’s so pretty and she has MUSCLES and im GAY and so is everyone else in the colony for her. she’s just!!!! so good!!! and deserved so much better!!! let her be happy!!!!

Actual Science Mess Dr. Julia Heller

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian mainly but occasionally i can see her as bi Gender Headcanon: kinda girl, kinda not. being a chromo-tilt she has genetic expectations to live up to so she probably never felt like she could explore her gender identity or she’d fail everything she was Supposed to be. but once she yeets the council out of her life she’s free to actually think about it.A ship I have with said character: julia/devon gives me life A BROTP I have with said character: her and danziger please give me more of them together?? like they both care so much about devon but ALSO?? they’re such opposites in ways that still give them middle ground? their upbringings were on opposite ends of station society but they both came out of their pasts being survivalists in their own way and protecting themselves by staying private or closed off to relationships. they’re both rly realistic about their circumstances but driven in their goals so when they get in each others’ way, like in the frozen terrian episode, their shared stubbornness only makes the argument worse. plus i rly love when julia has to hang out with the ops crew on missions because a medic is needed and she still has to walk a fine line because she grew up with immense privileges over them, but then she starts saying stuff like “shank!” and integrating with them so nicely?? there’s so much i could say about them but im too tired to articulate it all just,,, ,, know i have a whole analysis on their relationship somewhere that’s just 1 giant wall of text taller than danziger is. A NOTP I have with said character: her and alonzo. like he was an important step in her development as a person, but i only see them as temporary. and i kinda?? think they’d do better as a brother/sister kinda friendship because he does bring out some fun qualities in her A random headcanon: im just gonna toss a bunch of stuff here because i love her too much to do just one -she thinks she’s awful with kids but she’s actually really good with them but still freaks out any time she’s left alone with one -true becomes her apprentice in medical stuff at some point-she can out-drink danziger because of her genetic enhancements, which i,,, was drawing but forgot to finish,,,, -i really see the way her mom raised her to have been Traumatic (which is part of why she thinks she’s bad with kids bc she doesn’t wanna impact them the way her mom impacted her) so i reeeeally want her to go to the Underground with the sleeping terrians some day and project into her mom’s dreams like “hey you’re a bitch”-she was reeeeally gay for elizabeth for those 2 days elizabeth was alive because like?? pretty science lady at the frontiers of science?? who knows a decades’ worth of info about the planet and could help her save her friends??how could she not admire her -SIMILARLY being a doctor she blames herself when she cant save people but something so neat about her reationship with devon is that devon blames herself too because shes the one who brought everyone out here in the first place. so when devon’s the one who needs saving it’s 10000x worse because now julia’s even more alone -regardless of her sexuality i dont see what she had with alonzo as genuine kjshk. it was probably just her being like “oh shit im free from the expectations i had back on the stations uhhhh i guess going for the Bad Boy would be exciting??? because he already won’t leave me alone so i guess it’ll be the easiest way to get an ally” in case she was ever found out as a spy. which she was. and his heterosexuality saved her life. -i really want vasquez to roll up in the colony ship expecting the emotionally repressed quiet order-following child he remembers but instead he gets g889 julia who’s 10000% done with everyone’s bullshit, knows more about the planet than vasquez can dream of, and will not hesitate to speak her mind or make science her bitch -god there’s so much more but i need to go to sleep this is homophobic General Opinion over said character: i would literally lay down my life for her?? i just want her to be happy and im so proud of how far she came and everything she’s endured?? she just means a lot to me and she’ll always be a fave

#wildandwhirlingwords #i meant to go to sleep 40 minutes ago this is gonna be so incoherent kjldhdjklhn #tn tag #e2 tag

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