#i chose floodland bc that's what got me into goth

[gothicmatter]

man how did akutagawa get into goth. my hc is that chuuya introduced him to alternative music. all kinds. he wanted to help akutagawa develop some sense of identity, to give him a comfort in life, something he can always count on, go back to when there's no one he can turn to, a way for him to process his emotions in a healthy manner, without violence, something that can make him feel like a human being for once and provide a space where he can exist not as "the hellhound of the port mafia" but as ryuunosuke akutagawa, the teenager.

and chuuya finds all of that in music. that's why he wanted to get akutagawa into it. he tried showing akutagawa his stuff but akutagawa was absolutely non-receptive, didn't care for chuuya's efforts to share this part of himself with akutagawa (bc akutagawa just can't fucking stand chuuya's taste lmao). but chuuya didn't give up bc he saw how much akutagawa needed this. bc really how can a person live without music; with just the thunder of their punishing thoughts or the sound of absolute silence bc there's just fucking no one there for them. if he himself can't reach akutagawa, he can help him finally discover something that can pass through his impenetrable walls of isolation and touch him. because that's an invaluable experience that everybody deserves to have. he was glad akutagawa at least continued to let him keep trying.

chuuya wasn't super familiar with goth music but he was at least aware of its existence. that's why, among other records of various genres, he got floodland by sisters of mercy.

akutagawa loved it. with the first song (dominion/mother russia) he went completely still and his full attention was on the record player. it was one of those clear top cd players where you can see the cd when it's in. imagine his little bug eyes following the spinning cd in complete awe. he was like that for the whole duration of the album. after it was over he immediately asked chuuya to play it again. and again. and aga-- then chuuya told him to just take it home with him. akutagawa was too embarrassed to agree. chuuya was very glad they had finally discovered something that really clicked so he wasn't letting this go. he told akutagawa he was not taking no for an answer and just shoved the cd into akutagawa's hands, storming out before akutagawa had a chance to protest any further.

from then on akutagawa secretly started buying himself more cds by various goth bands and slowly introducing goth clothes into his wardrobe. later on he transitioned to vinyl. now he has dozens of discographies on vinyl. he listens to them while he does calligraphy on his days off.

he still keeps his cds for during car rides on shared missions with chuuya. he still can't stand most of chuuya's music. chuuya is okay with gothic rock and dark wave but he needs his daily dose of metal to function. that's why they sometimes compromise by listening to gothic metal.

#bonding over music is very very important to me #i could go on and on and on and on about this #i chose floodland bc that's what got me into goth #chuuaku #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd #bungou stray dogs #music hcs #goth akutagawa