#i am printing this gold star for the post i hissed at but did not engage with yesterday
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right at the borderline is where i'm gonna wait
tfota | jude x cardan, post-reconciliation, nsfw, the idiots get biblical. seriously. (ao3)
[give or take three years after qon. title from “meet me halfway” by black eyed peas]
The apple had been shiny. Decadent in gold, everything about it inhuman.
Jude inspected it with a slithering memory of it stuffing her nose, trickling down her cheeks. Back when Valerian was alive and planned to make a fool of her. How could something so beautifully venomous appear so harmless?
She was uncomfortably reminded of her twin sister. To shake away the thought she spoke.
“An apple doomed humanity.”
Cardan lifted a brow. His tail swept at his back, causing a small hissing noise. They were done with food, lounging at the table close and carefree, political matters long dealt with.
Jude scrunched her brows, trying to remember. “In some religions of mortals, the first man and woman were kicked out of heaven for eating an apple. Her, specifically.”
“Really?” he asked, intrigued.
She nodded. “Adam and Eve. They were meant to live in the garden of Eden but a devilish snake charmed Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.” She grabbed the faerie apple, lifted it for closer inspection. She could smell its sickly sweetness. “Then she convinced Adam to do the same.”
His face was full of amusement. “A snake.”
“A snake.” Jude placed the apple back on the platter. There was more, she knew there was, but her time in the mortal world was long past. “The devil in disguise, actually.”
He nodded as if in understanding. “Is that your creation?”
Jude felt stunned by the use of ‘your’. She shifted in her seat, moving her right leg so it was no longer in contact with his. This subject was bringing back memories forgotten or repressed for more than a decade. Crosses. Stars. Going to school, seeing churches on the way there through the car window. Thick books hidden in a drawer in every hotel room. Like anything mortal, religion had been ruined by Elfhame even if the Duartes had never been particularly devout. She found herself unable to move forward from this yet wanting to run away.
“Religion was never a strong verse of mine. Especially considering the age I came here.” The thought drifted off into silence. It was all she could say. Cardan had the decency to hold her gaze, to allow her this vulnerability without pity.
Her eyebrows scrunched again. “It must all sounds so…absurd to you.” She had to look away.
Cardan remained silent, his tail quiet at his back. He grabbed the apple and gave it a hard bite. Through juicy chunks he bid her, “What happened to them?”
For a handful of days, she told him here and there. Not much but the mere basics. Jude herself didn’t recall too well. She remembered the tale through Cardan. He asked, more intrigued than was to be expected, either for her favor or a genuine curiosity over human beliefs. She even managed to stop by a human library during a visit to Vivi’s, where she found and printed out a picture from the internet to show her husband. He saw a drawing of two naked people ambling by bushes of green and red. They had leaves between their legs and expressions of wonder. Of children. Jude still couldn’t pinpoint how to feel. It settled weird in her stomach, as she held up the tiny print out and Cardan squinted with an unreadable expression. To think that this was her beginnings. How faeries must’ve seen them. Standing in the shoes of an outsider, it made her feel more human than she felt in a long time.
She thought the subject to be blessedly forgotten, until a few days later.
Cardan was guiding her with hands over her eyes. The guards were called away, instructed not to interrupt them. Jude felt the pounding of her own heart up to her ears. She could sense and hear grass under her feet, smell leaves and moss. The place they were going to was warm.
“Why is it growing quieter?”
Cardan didn’t falter. “We’re moving deeper into the forest is why.”
“Will we run into wild animals? I remember studying the mountain lions-”
His chuckle cut her off. “No lions, Lady Devout Student. I found this place not too long ago, in the years prior to my ascension to the throne. It is quiet and secluded.” There was a pause. He stopped both in their tracks. “I’ll admit it was lonely. I was often lonely. At least here, the view was better than my chambers at Hollow Hall.”
Cardan removed his hands.
Jude huffed in a breath. She couldn’t appreciate being led blindly through the woods, but the sight before her took the words away.
It was a small bit of everything a human would expect of a fairytale. A nook in the woods, some place forgotten by the maps. There was an ample space surrounded by greenery. She could only describe it as a concealed meadow. The trees formed in a natural alcove, hugging the space into intimacy. Even the thin slices of sunlight creeping through leaves looked magical. And flowers. Those were everywhere. Their smell filled her nose, enticing like honey.
“There,” Cardan pointed.
It was an apple tree. Small and with only a few golden apples dangling from its branches. She did not know what to make of the metaphor.
“It’s…bewitching,” she told him.
He walked over to the tree. Pried a fruit off it. “I never showed this place to anyone.”
That simple sentence reached her heart. He walked over back to her.
“I was reminded of this place,” he began, “when you first told me the mortal creation story.”
Ah. Everything was clicking. Jude took a deep breath, inhaling with it the scent of the apple. “The garden of Eden was meant to be heavenly.” She smirked at him, lifting a brow. “This is presumptuous of you.”
His hand found her chin. “Presumptuous it may be. Conceited, even. Poetic, hopefully?”
It was endearing to see him this way. To allow him to care. She stepped closer, his loose linen white shirt brushing hers. She didn’t have a dramatic black coat over hers but that was attributed to his taste and her lack thereof. The black tint around his eyes was perfect.
“Am I supposed to fall hopeless to your faerie charms?” She stepped even closer, so close she pretended to clean lint off his coat.
His free hand fell to her hip. “Are they successful?”
She scoffed. “You fell for my foolish mortal wiles. Anything should be possible.”
With the hand holding the apple, he brushed some strands of hair out of her face. “Here I am, attempting to be elegiac.” He leaned down and planted a soft, deep kiss on her lips.
Jude allowed her eyes to close. She let herself be vulnerable, allowed him to lead. He kissed her again, still slow as if afraid she would turn and leave. When they pulled apart he was breathing heavy. Then he licked the skin of the apple, not quite biting it, while maintaining eye contact.
Her breathing hitched.
“Never have I been the doted student so correct me if I'm wrong.” His lips met her cheek, then the other. “I recall that Adam and Eve had but two rules.”
“Rules?”
He pulled back and rolled his eyes. “Expectations.”
Jude let out a laugh. “You’ve become a better student.” He’d become a better lots of things. “What rules?”
His one hand still gripped her waist. “The first was not to eat the apple. Which,” he threw his golden apple in the air and caught it again, “they failed.” He said it with a certain finality that fell ill on her belly.
Her eyes fell directly on the faerie fruit in his hand. It all suddenly swirled around in her head. Her humanity. The memory of being helplessly under its spell that school afternoon, and the memory of desiring more. How at that moment, at the raw experience of eating the single fruit she lost semblance of herself, her basest instinct of survival. It pushed her to act against her own self-interest, to destroy herself. Succulent and blissful it had been, but the cost of it was the fall. A beautiful fall, but a fall nonetheless.
She felt too close to Eve at that moment. A shudder ran down her body. Eve, the first mother, who many pointed to as the broken woman who cursed humankind. The single bite that ruined the world.
Cardan could tell she got lost in her head. He lowered his hand and brought her eyes to his. He demanded all her attention.
“I don't believe you are foolish.” He whispered it like a caress. “I never have.” He paused, gathering his thoughts and granting her the same courtesy. “My own prejudice blinded me, as yours did me equally.”
“You thought me an insect for so long.”
“And you thought me a monster.”
Some days it was hard to convince herself that either of them was wrong.
He let the fruit fall from his hand so he could cup her face fully.
“Adam and Eve are a whimsical tale but I would not call anyone naive for believing in it. Not you, if you did, or any other mortal. From a certain light it’s...innocent. Sweet.”
Jude scoffed, her heart lightened. “Sweet? The doom of humanity is sweet?”
He smiled at her laugh. “No. The intention of you. Residing in heaven, living in ignorant bliss with your love and your equal is what makes it sweet.”
At this she lifted a brow. He might be bringing some of his own interpretation to the tale. But gender relations and faith had always been different in Elfhame, so he knew no better. “Like I mentioned, I am not well-versed in the text. Some mortals would even call you wrong. But I suppose a story is to be made whatever the reader wishes to make it.”
“Here's what I make of this one.” And he pulled her into another hungrier kiss.
Jude could’ve almost laughed, as he tugged at her clothes and her fingers shed him of his trousers. Piece by piece, they rid the other of clothing. When air bit her bare skin, she jumped back without thinking. They were in public. They could be found.
Cardan studied her expression quickly, worried. He understood immediately. “The guards. I sent them off to a perimeter, remember? We are alone.”
Right. Tension left her muscles as her spine straightened again. She brought his body back to hers, only his shirt and socks left. She helped him with the first as he stepped out of the second.
“I cannot believe your biblical seduction worked.”
His fanciful smile flashed. Sparkling white teeth. “It is not finished yet.”
Part of her couldn’t believe it. “Frankly, it’s hard to fathom you could care so much.”
He ignored her, as they were now fully uncovered. Silently, he leaned forward and shook out her hair, fluffing it out in wild tangles. It was unlike her, aside from moments in training when her pleats came loose. His long fingers touching her scalp sent shivers everywhere in her body, and her eyes drooped. Jude’s brown hair was so long and fluffy it fell down streams past her shoulders, brushing the tops of her breasts and tickling her back. When Cardan appeared satisfied with the results, he stepped back to rake her all over. From crown to heel.
As naked as they had come into this world. Mortal and fae alike. There was a metaphor there.
“You forgot the second.” Cardan whispered this into her neck as he guided her down onto the floor.
“What?” It was hard to think.
“The second rule. You forgot to ask about it.” They settled on the pasture.
Part of her was so confused. Also annoyed. “Oh, you’re teaching now?”
He made a show of pinching the side of her ass. Jude yelped. He soothed her by nuzzling her nose with his.
“The first rule was not to eat the apple. Correct?”
This was so out of bounds but it had to be going somewhere. She nodded.
Her husband took a deep breath. Inhaling her in. Perhaps afraid of what he would say next. Of what Jude would think. “The second was to go forth and be fruitful.” His pale hand trailed her sides, skimming her hips. “To continue humanity.” His lips marked kisses on her clavicles, descending to her chest. “To have many,” a kiss to her sternum, “many,” another right above her belly button, “many children.” The last kiss was at her abdomen, his hands on either side of her stomach.
The air was knocked right out her lungs. Cold shocked her entire body, then in a flash she was hot all over.
She looked into his eyes. Cardan was calm, serene. He was upright now, leaning on one hand on the ground. His thumb drew circles on her hip. A part of him seemed resigned, as if ready for a blow. In that moment she felt his spirit as open as she had privilege to see very few times prior.
Jude trained her voice not to shake. “You wish to be fruitful, my husband?”
A long pause. They only stared at each other until Cardan leaned down to kiss her stomach again. “To try, certainly.”
She couldn’t find any words. Therefore she used her body instead. One hand cupped his face, gently, then the other. As if holding a delicate bird. His black crow eyes could tear her soul apart.
Half of her didn’t know what she was doing when her hands pulled him up, meeting his lips with hers. It was neither an answer nor a rejection. A response, the best she could give him for now.
Nevertheless he answered threefold. The High King refused to break apart until they were both gasping for air. A small smile adorned his face when he seductively muttered into her lips.
“Let us play like Adam and Eve. I’ll have you with leaves in your hair and grass beneath our backs.” He planted a kiss on her ear, nibbling. “The blue sky can be our witness.”
Her hand kept him where he was as she groaned. “You would play at a mortal amongst the dirt?”
Instead of celebrating her banter, he bit her harder. This time she hissed, and he moved lower.
“We,” Cardan mumbled on her skin, “are the only two beings in here.” Unable to lie, he couldn’t play along with their roles and say ‘in the world’. It had to be ‘in here’, in the alcove, yet she appreciated his way around it all the same. The sentiment remained. That sinful mouth floated over the skin of her belly. It traced a line falling low. Jude gasped when he teased the area above her center. Between her legs is where she wanted him, where he refused to go. A whimper escaped.
It made him look up. “There is no one else.” With that, his red tongue licked the bundle of nerves amidst her thighs.
Jude could only grip his hair, shut her eyes and moan. He drew circles, adding pressure that drew louder noises. When he took all of her into his mouth and sucked she started to scare the birds off the trees.
His hand, snake-like, slithered up her hip and to her breast, where he caressed and squeezed her. The other…it went to her center, aiding his lips, teasing. One finger, then two, and the tongue circling harder.
Jude couldn’t make sense of up from down to the point where her peak came in a waterfall without notice. It felt nothing short of natural. Her chest heaved, eyes closed and back arched. When Cardan withdrew his fingers they were soaked.
Pleased beyond sense, she only felt him work his way back up, align his chest to hers. Smother her neck with kisses while pushing her thighs apart with his knee.
“No one else,” he murmured against her throat.
Her eyes fluttered. “No one…”
He kneeled upward suddenly. Cardan reached for a flower, two, pink and bright from a bush next to her head. He threw off the stems, leaving only the petals and crushing those between his long hands. She was still busy riding her high to ask what the hell he was doing. Then he took what remained of the flowers and smeared it over her body. Across her chest, down to her stomach. She was glazed in petals. Everywhere he touched, she shuddered. Her body was a canvas in pink. Clinging to her skin, staining and perfuming her. Grass glued to her back and flower petals to her front, hair fanned out. It was the farthest from dirty she’d ever felt. His expression was hungry, reverential, and some other unreadable thing.
“Jude.”
She met his gaze. “Cardan.”
His hand went between their legs, and she felt the nudge at her entrance. Her breathing stopped.
He leaned down to touch noses, foreheads, to share breath. “We are primordial.”
He could not lie. He believed it, some part of him, some twisted explanation. She didn’t give herself time to ponder.
“Cardan.” Sliding into her was the easiest thing.
All thoughts died with a sigh.
Everything stilled. His eyelids fell shut, breath tickling her face. “There is only you and me.”
Time went by oddly. Jude couldn't separate one coupling from the next. Something out of a fever dream or the drowsiness that follows a strong poison. She was overwhelmed with the primal nature of the story, by the pleasure in her body.
Cardan was thrusting into her from behind, both laying on the grass on their sides. Wet leaves stuck to his legs, to her hip. She was moaning, a fist of grass in her hand and a fist of her hair in his. He pulled, brought her closer. “My love,” he whispered in her ear.
Then she was straddling him. Moving up and down painfully slowly, torturous drags. She had his chin in her hands, powerful, forcing his eyes to hers. She was whispering, unrecalled heinous things she wouldn’t remember later. Only the feel of him inside and his hands on her hips.
That might have been the first hour. Or the second.
He was slamming into her. Jude was dizzy with the pace, strong and rhythmic. Her back was to an old tree, steadying her. Cardan kissed her breast. He was not going fast, focusing on going deeper. There were petals stuck to his chest now too, and some grass blades. The paint around his eyes was smudged. She yelped once. An evil smile formed on him, a smile that reminded her of taunts and tricks. His hands fell to her sides, one on her and one on the tree. His hips charged harder, making their pelvises meet and slightly pushing her up the tree. She squealed louder.
Jude was riding him again. She was on her front this time, facing away from him, each hand on his knees for support. Her hair was a mess; tiny stems and petals caught on the ends, the odd twig here and there. It was far from her priorities, though, or his. She even thought the ferality heightened his desire. At her back, Cardan hissed, grip on her waist as she impaled herself on him over and over. Slick sounds filled the meadow.
His tail whispered up her left side. The tuft coil slid around her throat, cutting off a groan, settling as a choker. “Oh,” was what she could manage. A particularly strong moan escaped Cardan. She rode him harder. Faster. Leveling her body so only her waist moved, keeping them close. Back and forth, back and forth, blinding her senses. She came again, as swiftly as an autumn breeze.
That was when he decided to push her forward. His tail stayed at her throat, tightening. She was on all fours, limbs trembling.
Cardan shifted into position behind. “On your knees, Your Majesty.”
It took a few gasps to gather a response. “Majesty? I thought I was Eve from the garden-” but the rest was gone to his thrusts. The grass under her hands was ripped off.
Where had their base necessities gone? For hours they wouldn’t stop to eat, to drink, only to rest for some heartbeats in between positions. A mere catching of the breath. Blue sky turned to pink, purple, to a reddish tint marking sundown. Jude thought the garden had truly driven them mad.
He was on top, eyes locked on hers. Jude sprawled on the ground with one leg horizontal and the other on his shoulder, his hand holding it close. She had one foot in the air and her thighs open wide. Anything but them, but the glistening sight of their joining ceased to exist.
She kept one hand at his hip, beckoning him forward, controlling the pace even with him moving above. It was a fantastic dynamic. Below him, she whispered praise and any unintelligible phrase that came to mind. “Just like that,” she’d say. “Right there. Harder. That’s better.” There was even a shaky “That feels perfect.” It only made him more dutiful. Then she noticed him looking at her breasts. How they bounced by the efforts of their movements.
“Touch them,” she commanded.
His hand went to one, fingers splayed wide, clutching.
“Harder than that.”
With a moan, he squeezed harder, sparking pain and pleasure through her nerves. Her limbs were aflame.
Skin met skin. The slaps were like a song, lulling her and encouraging him. Cardan took a glance at the place where he disappeared in her, again and again.
“You’re drenched.”
She had coated them both until their groins were wet.
Jude grasped his shoulders, snatching him to her, chests meeting. As close as they could be. In that liminal state, in that indescribable eternal in-between, she planted kisses on every inch of him.
“Love me.” She whispered in his ear, his hair, any reachable place. “Love me. Love me. Love me.”
Their last thoughts blurred into oblivion.
There is only you.
There is only me.
For now.
#jude duarte#cardan greenbriar#jurdan#tfota#tfotaedit#it says post-qon but theres no spoilers i swear i dont even have the book#its for the timeline#this is Very different to what ive done before so tread...carefully#if youre not into religious discussion look tf away#nicky writes#mine:tfota
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Day 37
It’s 12am and my phone is buzzing and I cannot sleep. What the fuck is going on.
You have 20 new notifications
I click open our class chat first, and to my surprise, it’s all birthday messages.
Clown:
Did you guys actually have to type me a whole essay?
Thank you tho <3
Pebble:
A well written essay!
Sam:
Time well spent
My phone vibrates and I’m invited to a call from a handful of friends.
Joining Your Neighborhood Pizza delivery service’s call…
“It’s 12am let me sleep”
“Are you not happy that we’re wishing you happy birthday at 12am?”
“I am, it’s just I’m also exhausted for no reason”
“You’re going out for a McDonalds run right?”
“Yeah. You guys woke me up halfway through”
“Sorry”
“I’m sorry it’s 12am and I really wanna know who’s in this call right now”
“Ah! It would be Estelle, Beanie, Min, “
“Your son”
“Mint”
“Sun”
“What the fuck are you guys doing awake?”
“Admiring the stars”
“Sure. Totally believe you”
“Cressie it’s your birthday.”
“One year closer to my demise I guess”
“You’re insane”
“So I’ve been told”
“Ah. Check your mailbox in the morning! There should be a couple things in there”
I yawn. 6 hours of sleep isn’t enough to run on.
“Alright get to bed. Sleep your last 3 hours and I’ll be waiting for you at 3am”
“Mint you’re the most punctual out of all of us why are you picking me up?”
“I’ve never had a McDonalds run with you. Besides, It’s Friday.”
“Alright I’m sleeping now good night”
“Good night birthday girl!”
“That’s so cheesy ksjdfalfa”
Sure enough, at 3am, I wake up and find Mint outside my door, vibing in his car. I shake my head and lock the door.
“Good morning Mint”
“Morning”
“You’re mean you know that?”
“Happy birthday Mint”
“Right back at you”
“HEY REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP LEFT ME ON READ WHEN I WISHED YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY-”
“I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THAT ALREAY”
“My salty ass could never”
“Alright what do you want for your birthday?”
“Neither of us give anything-”
“Our Asian ass could never”
“HOnestly”
“Ah. I do have a present for you though”
My hand reaches into my backpack and I pull out a scrapbook.
“In true Crescent fashion, I present to you our scrapbook”
“What?”
“A collection of all the photos we have together with little commentary along the way. This is now yours” I beam.
“You’re joking”
“Nope”
“I didn’t even get you anything like his I-”
“You don’t need to”
He snickers and hands me a small box.
“I found it while shopping online, and it reminded me of that one time A gave you a rainbow rose so I figured I would give you an eternal one”
I stare at the rose. It’s rainbow, and I was surprised he even remembered that his brother had given me one. I tear up slightly, maybe its because I wasn’t used to getting gifts from him, or the sudden change of heart but I mean-
“I’m crying”
“You’re always crying”
“SHUT UP KDFSKFSHDJF”
My hands clink at the glass softly, and Mint hums in appreciation as he flips through the scrapbook.
“Where’s this photo from?”
“Hm?” He points at a photo where both he and his brother are jumping on the trampoline while I’m sitting.
“Your mom sent it to my mom a few years back”
“Ah”
There’s a comfortable silence that passes over us, and I decide to answer all the texts that I had received about my birthday while he flipped through the book.
After about a dozen thank you!’s and 4 conversations, I finish. Mint snickers when he flips to the last page.
“You just had to put that one last huh?”
On the last page lies Mint and I at Junior prom last year. It was a tradition to go with eachother, and my friend had taken a photo where we were pretending to make out.
”Why? Don’t want your future wife seeing it?”
“No. It’s just you saved the best for last” he snorts.
“Of course” I hum.
“Alright what do you want from McDonalds?”
“Ice cream”
“You’re literally bleeding this week no”
“Uhhh. Fries?”
“Sure”
Mint starts his car and we head off. The sky is a calm blue. A dark shade that leaves you wondering if there’s more out there. It was ironic that I had met him so long ago. It was even more surprising when he moved here for junior and senior year. I was horribly confused, and the only explanation he could muster out was a job change for his parents. But I was pretty sure they just wanted to have A mature in a different environment.
“Lost in thought again?”
“Mhm. You never told me how and why you moved here in detail”
“Nothing really. It was a job change on my parents part, and a new path for A”
“What about you?”
“I wanted to chase the only person who never gave up on me”
“You’re disgusting”
“Better than confessing to my crush every day for a whole year”
“LEAVE ME ALONE”
“You’re the one who brought up how I chased you all the way to California”
“I still wonder how you can pin after someone like me”
“At some point I realized you saw me as a brother”
“I wish I could do that.”
“You’re a hopeless romantic. Have some fun every once in a while”
“Are you implying I should have a one night stand?”
“Once you’re a legal adult sure”
“Bad decision making except it’s Mint giving me bad advice as a joke”
“I hate you”
“Love you too~”
“You’re disgusting”
“Bleh”
HE pulls up at the McDonalds drive-through and I scream.
“dEAR ARE YOU ALIVE?”
“OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! EVERYTHING’S ON ME TODAY”
“WTF DEAR NO”
“NO OBJECTIONS. IS MINT WITH YOU?”
“I’m here”
“Happy birthday Mint darling anyways what do you guys want?”
“The usual”
“Nothing new?”
“Nope”
“Alright! See you at the second window!”
“Cressie darling I got you a gift!”
“I- what?”
“Gift.” He tosses something through the car window and it lands in my hands.
“What is it?”
“Check”
I click open the box and I find a small pendant with a moon.
“I thought you were a broke high school student?”
“But the boss gave me a raise and told me to get something nice for my lover and like I don’t have one so I mean-”
“I don’t deserve you” I sniff.
“Stop crying darling you’re scaring me”
I really hope you find yourself a lover this year or I will fight everyone around me I SWEAR”
“You’re being too loud again Cress”
“Sorry”
He hands us our food and waves us goodbye. It was funny to me. I had so many friends around me now that I had grown.
“Are you gonna make a birthday post?”
“Oh for Serenity!” I gasp.
I type away and Mint steals a couple fries from me. I hiss at him while typing.
“Too bad” he shrugs.
School rolls around and I ‘m met with 20 happy birthdays and a couple gifts fro my other friends. Surprise surprise I have other friends. Z and Sun’s gift surprises me the most.
“Cress” Sun calls for me after school.
“Hm?”
“Happy birthday” He hands a medium-sized box to me.
“You always make us scrapbooks for our birthdays so I thought I’d try to make one for you”
“Have I ever told you how much I love you-”
“You remind me pretty often but yeah”
I open the box and a seat little scrapbook sits inside. There’s a white pen, a silver one, and a gold pen rolling around next to it, and there’s a small letter. Z tackles me from behind and I crash into Sun’s chest.
“Z what the f-”
“Language” Sun glares.
“Your gift!” Z hands me a small photo sized box.
“Photos?”
“You made a whole batch with notes on the back for me so I decided to print a bunch for you!”
“Thank you Z” I sniff slightly.
“What’s wrong! Do you not like it?”
“No no! I’m emotional haha” I muster up a smile. My cursed birthday luck was gonna catch up with me soon. I just felt it.
“No worries! It was the least I could do” Z smiles.
I nod in response. The rest of the day carries out like normal, and I find myself tired by the end of the day. My classmates threw me a party, and at the end of the day, my friends threw me another one. I enjoyed it, but I was waiting for my cursed birthday luck to catch up to me, I could never be happy until it occurred.
“If you’re thinking about that birthday curse of yours again, I’d advise you to know that with me, there’s no chance of having bad birthday luck” Mint hums. His birthdays had no bad things. It was like the universe favored him.
“I know. But I can’t truly calm down until I get to bed”
There’s a comfortable silence that settles down before Mint speaks up again.
“I’m sorry”
“Why so?”
“You had always wished me happy birthday so consistently, and I never replied and I just feel really bad and all-”
“Don’t worry about it.” I tap at the red solo cup in my hand. “I probably deserved all that”
“You don’t and that’s why I kind of. Um”
“Mint you’re my editor what did you do-”
“Bought tickets back home?” I gape at him. My jaw is dropped, and he seems to panic. “My home’s open and all! I know your house is rented out and the renters for my place just moved out and we have thanksgiving in a month so I figured I would take you back for the break and I’m sorry! I probably should’ve asked first and all but-”
A choked sob escapes my lips. I’m shocked, I hadn’t gone home in so long. How did he know? A stream of incoherent words escapes my lips and Mint tries to soothe me.
“You know.” I managed to force it out. “Some days I question why I stopped crushing on you. You spoil me rotten, and I don’t even deserve someone who cares for me and knows me like you and you always seem to know how I’m feeling and-”
Mint rubs soft circles on my back, and I let out my emotions. My birthday curse wasn’t a curse. It was a tradition. A tradition to cry at least once on my birthday, and for the first time, I was crying tears of joy. A couple minutes pass, and I feel my emotions slowly draw back.
“Thank you” I mumbled weakly.
Serenity made a new post!
It’s my birthday! Thank you to all of you who sent in birthday wishes (and death threats)! Another year has passed and I truly wish that I could thank you all face to face for the support!
Once again, my lovely editor Leaf shares a birthday with me so go ahead and send in some birthday wishes to him as well. For today’s gift from me, you all get a blast of joy! Much love!
-Serenity
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#writing#people crying inadfs#first person#birthdays#fiction#365 days#365 days of writing#365 days of rejection#though not much rejection anymore#project#quarantine project#me being emotionally unstable again
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Name: Meka, or Ursa
Gender: Agender
Star sign: Scorpio
Height: 5′2″
sexuality: Bi, i guess?
What image do you have as wallpaper: The desert from Gurren Lagann
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: No, thank the gods
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: Queen of my own right of Artmesia, with my girlfriend ruling beside me. I won Crown undefeated. I have a bakery thats i own with my girlfriend. We own two horses, one sheep, two dogs and five cats. Life is good.
If you could be anywhere else right now, where?: With my girlfriend in Salt Lake, watching movies and cuddling
What was your coolest halloween costume: Sith
What’s your favorite 90s show: SAILOR MOON!!!!
Who was your last kiss?: Like, two weeks ago, when i last saw Chey
Have you ever been stood up?: Nope
Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Yup! Just a few months ago for an SCA event
Favorite pair of shoes: My roman gladiator sandals
Favorite fruit: I hate fruit
Favorite book: Come on... thats not fair... ok im going to say The Percy Jackson series
Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Theres way too much stuff to count... Probably tripping acid and downing three car bombs one st pattys day is up there... that was a really crazy weird night
Hogwarts House: Hiss Hiss Motherfuckers! Slytherin represent!
Hours of sleep: generally six
Blankets you sleep with: one heated blanket, one comforter that ive had since kindergarten, one comforter with garfield print, and one dragon blanket. in colder weather theres more
Favorite Bands: Led Zep, My Chem, The Black Keys, Crobot, Wolfmother, Rival Sons, Royal Blood, The Doobie Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, and Puddle of Mudd
Favorite Solo artists: Gerard Way, Gary Clark Jr., Stevie Nicks... theres more, im sure
Song stuck in my head: “Blinded by the LIght”
Last movie I watched: Kubo and the Two Strings
Why did I create my blog: my sister @theelectricaccordian got me into tumblr so many years ago...
What do I post: SHit posts, roman memes, and SCA fighting
When did I create my blog: Many, many years ago XD
Do I have other blogs?: Nope
Do you get asks?: Never. Nobody likes me :(
Following Blogs: 301
Favorite colors: Black, purple, silver, gold, green, and blue
Lucky numbers: 88
Instruments: Guitar and bass
What am I wearing: giant purple shirt and pajama pants
Dream job: Rock star, or owning a nice bakery/breakfast place
Dream trip: ROME. I wanna see the ruins!!
Favorite food: Eggs benedict, reubens and prime rib
Nationality: Dutch/scottish
Followers: 497
Reasons for your url: Its my SCA name! well, Ursa Arci is my SCA name, arrowbreaker is well deserved nickname, haha
ttagging @littlemisspinupgirl @electricjudgement @pyrusnightwrite @feather-fire @l-achrymose @forever-sound @datenshi-no-hime
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~ Flower ~ A Chris Cornell fanfiction (Chapter 9)
Hey again hunnies! Sorry I haven't been posting so often, school recently resumed for me and, ya know -_- xD but I am excited cause I do have a lot of great ideas for the plot, hope you guys enjoy! Love you all and thank you so much for the support! XOX!! (This is Star's POV btw) Warning: This chapter does contain explicit, sexual content... The staircase was probably a faint blur at that moment. I constantly batted my eyelids until the thin, sheen of liquor based influence cleared it's infestation of my pupils. The bitter, yet cloying, taste of victorious spirit still lingering on my tongue. It was certainly responsible for the undefeatable grin plastered across my curled lips, twitching wider until my flushed cheeks ached. The bubbling din of Xana's drunken giggles that emitted like joyful sobs from her throat were quite peculiar, considering the lack of comical humor that Andy condoned. Her feet swirled and danced on the staggered brick path, the stiletto heel of her shoes often snapping sharply against the concrete. "Careful babe," Andrew snorted, rather amused than concerned of Xana's mentally numb condition. He coiled a protective arm around her tiny waist in assistance to avoid any minor incidents. After scribbling what I had assumed to be my originally designed signature on the freshly printed contract, I reminisced on the previous celebration. The loud, flustering cheers of finally being recognized as a foreign, Seattle Hard Rock band suffocated and drowned my self esteem positively. The vivid memory of Layne and Mike encouraging me to chug what appeared to be a quart of infused Vodka. The tingle and smoldering singe as the smooth, what I considered to be at the time, elixir rolled down my gullet. That thrilling after flame that left the linen of my throat raw. Yet, the satisfying pain wasn't enough to distract and amputate the roaring, distorted applause and jeers that followed immediately. With the liquor still churning in my stomach and my immunity barely flinching at its perilous contents, I retrospected on the latter consequences which I further disregarded. The professionally documented and typed sheet of great exaltation flitted and jolted my visual thoughts. The way I had the least heed for the seemingly endless paragraphs, transcripted in ebony ink. Skimming through the elegant font array of sentences just to display some sort of discretion, I hovered atop the labelled, dotted line. Its broken base already autographed by the uniquely drawn signatures of my band mates, I felt a sharp tremble and anxiety spume inside of me. Lines I assumed would've been jaggedly written were perfectly equable as my soul, gravitating on the carbonated ripples of my drinks. With both record executives offering us the typical introductory speech and invitation, an attentive Ashton absorbed most of the information. My attention was diverted on the most regular and uneventful individual in an assembly of notable, ensuing melees. Previously preaching the gospel of Rock 'N' Roll on stage, my eyes had strayed to the shady, sexy figure observing silently on the back. Neither of his fists were lodged into the air and his jaw was clenched shut, not permitting any chants or screeches of support. Clad in the sleek, appealing leather jacket I absolutely adored and fawned upon when he was clothed in it. His long, moisturized curls cascading down his broad, squared shoulders and his ghastly pale complexion shimmering beneath the flickering audience lights. The florid, overdone stage smokers occasionally fogged and clouded the once prominent view of him. I contemplated on the sudden adrenaline rush fumbling with my mature status and in exchange for foolish illusions, but I knew for a certain fact, it had to be whom I was convinced it was. Spitting lyrics out and attempting to congregate how he could've possibly slipped out of the insecure gaze of Susan was overwhelming. My consistent breaths and hesitation on particular lines disoriented my tongue, tying it into tricksy knots. Failing to shove and rid the sensual and intimate fantasizes of him out of my subconscious, I struggled to latch back onto the clasp of my usual performance ego. The moaning of Brandon's whammy bar piercing like a struck bell and creeping through the speakers. The way Ashton's fingers explored and journeyed across and beyond the frets of his guitar, performing licks that weren't even comprehendible. I felt my chest tremble, my rib cage shiver as Cyd's rhythmic bass line seeped like liquid gold from her rusted strings. Paired with Tristan's ridiculously angst amplified drumming, both were coupled romantically. Their depth pleasing the ears of dozens of spectators and fans, making it all the more satisfying to experience. But then, I could've no longer excused the mysterious, abstruse figure, for he was then trudging sluggishly beside me. His hands were buried within the grave of his pockets awkwardly as he occasionally attempted to conceive a normal, casual conversation. Skipping up the staircase, I refused to halt and await his presence as to conceal the existent endearment I shared with him. For cautionary purposes, Andy didn't hesitate or even inquire consent before scraping Xana off her feet. "Andy!" She squealed, struggling abundantly within his cradle intended arms. She punted her legs ferociously whilst wavering and deliberately flinging noneffective blows at his chest. "Baby, calm down!" His intentions of being placid and soothing were completely misinterpreted by his agitated, altercated tone. "No! I'm not a baby!" She bickered like a pouty, aggravated child. Being oblivious to her argument, her milky, shaved legs jolted, rather fiercely that time considering that her left shoe was then plummeting towards an untamed, decorative rose bush. "Fuck," I heard Andy hiss beneath a heavy, irritated breath. "My shoe! Go get it Andy!" Xana instantly swapped her once savage and violent behavior for one of much more agony and affliction for a materialistic object. Either way, Andy hadn't threatened to disobey an intoxicated Xana, bidding Chris and I farewell as we hurried up the creaky stairs. Our weight occasionally shifted the metal planks, a hazardous event I had grown accustomed and acquainted with. "Hey, Star-" arriving at the top floor, he somewhat timidly hailed my attention. "U-Uhh, about what happened today." I hadn't any confidence to properly assemble words, far much for my ability to avoid necessary eye contact. I apprehensively coughed, clearing my throat of the intentional hitch of air that dared to choke me. "W-What?" I ignorantly blurted, tripping over the complicated obstacles that were embarking on my tongue. Just the brief recall of the comprising, yet absolutely orgasmic, encounter Chris and I endured permitted a bright red glow that tinted my cheeks. The surreal feel of his hot, obscene touch merely scratching the surface of my sexual pinnacle. How delicious and delightful his long, calloused fingers apperceived my inner heat, stroking me in that undescribable pattern. He brushed every single inch of my valid weak spots, making me vulnerable, feeble beneath his accomplished smirk. My already aroused girlhood fluttered, reminiscing on how exceptionally he stimulated its palpitating nub of pink flesh. My teeth reflexively clenched my lower lip on the erotic vision of how warm my skin rose from his singular tease. But the most pleasurable and achingly amazing sensation was my achieved climax. It was beautiful, that final contraction and then the sharp ripples of my internal muscles. It was amatory and wonderful, that finishing cry and tight buckle of my pelvics. I would've sacrificed anything I was required to to experience a lengthy, passion driven intercourse session with Chris. "When we-" he paused abruptly as he gazed down at my lowered chin. "Well, when I touched you." I pursed my lips into a thin, firm line, fiddling nervously with the frayed ends of my distressed, acid washed jeans. "Chris, I-I don't know what to say," I mumbled rather charily whilst he ran his tongue along his chapped, bruised lips. Though he labored with the use of understood gestures to plead for applicable, visual communication, my aplomb had withered like the petals of a shriveling rose. I adverted my attention to the semi reflective surface of his boots, the disheveled laces making me cringe mentally from its lack of uniformity. My initial ambition was to ignore the emotional incision that spewed and exhausted my heart, trading it for a more unchanged and aloof spunk. Briefly surpressed by a figurative impediment, I coughed and shrugged either off my tensed shoulders. It was excruciating to mask my true intentions and love for him beneath the girl I attempted, but failed, to be. "I'm sorry for-" "No! No!" I denied and interrupted his sincere apology. Alternating my body language, I tilted my hips in accordance to the shifted weight amongst my legs. Slightly levitating my chin humbly and indolently swaying, I proceeded. "It was n-nothing really," there was an unintended strain in my voice when falsely confessing our affair was of no worth. His eyes frowned at me sympathetically, knowledgeable enough to recognize my transparent lie. "Nothing? What happened today was nothing to you?" He muttered questionably, unfazed by my unrealistic reply to react properly. We were shortly disturbed by the familiar wail that was squawked a floor beneath us. "Fuck! Fuck these motherfuckin' thorns!" He easily disregarded Andrew's cry of arrogation whilst I attempted to alter it into a distracted, miserably doing so unsuccessfully. "I think it meant more to you than it did to me." His assumption immediately captivated me in his skillfully invented snare. "T-That's not true," I spat hastily, abusing my innocent tongue for emitting such fibs. My jaw firmly clenched as my teeth sank into the inner flesh of my lips, silencing my untruthful phrases. I knew well he hadn't been swindled by my charade, proof being the twitching smirk that itched the corners of his lips. With the faint, apologetic moon mimicking his current emotions then, she casted a tender, ghoulishly romantic glow onto our silhouettes. Stumbling back against the front door and wincing at its irritating groan, he properly confronted my figure, skyscraping above my head. "You're a really bad liar babe," he mused, a mere grin tickling at his tempting, irresistible lips. I was immensely startled by his swift motion, barricading my body within the defense of his toned, leather clad arms. His fists solidly plastered onto the door behind and occasionally brushing on my curves as if the intended contact was an incident. My constant wheezing was audible then as he leaned at an appropriate level and reluctantly distanced our faces. That beautiful shimmer and sparkle that wedded his astounding emerald irises never failed to dupe me into a serene epiphany. His pale, perfectly chiseled features and alluring body added to the undeniable urge I felt for him. I desperately grasped at my sanity and control, reminiscing on the later remorse that would've haunted me. But I hungered for him, lusted after his touch and kiss, I needed him, buried deep within me, physically without any boundaries. "Is it that obvious?" I breathed, exchanging necessary oxygen with him, thirsty for any substance that contained matters of him. His hands were then fluctuated on my waist, firmly preparing me for what was soon to occur. Savoring the absolutely delicious taste of his lips as he sloppily latched onto my tongue, my eyelids grew heavy with the great mass of lust weighing them down. Feeling his arms snake around the entirety of my waist, I noosed my frail arms around his neck, gravitating on the very tips of my toes. "Chris," I muffled between our passionate kiss when his either hands heaved and groped at my full, prominent butt cheeks. "Fuck, I just need to see your body one more time," he sighed, regaining the brief disconnection with an equality of desire. "I just need to hear you moan my name again." My skin crawled like six legged fiends on beneath my flesh, making my body violently shiver within his secure prison. Finally committing to him, I breathed, dainty and soft. "P-Please, I need you Chris." Due to a sudden, lustful and horny impulse, he snapped at my lower lip, clenching it sharply between his teeth. Sucking at it and chastely licking its moisturized surface, I whimpered in delight and gasped. "I wanna make you feel so good," he seductively mumbled, lingering on my already swollen lips. "I want you sprawled out and moaning so loud for me when I finally have you." I unintentionally moaned, pleasured just by the unholy thought of hot, procrastinated sex with him. The mild foreplay and exchanging of filthy innuendoes were persuading us accurately, that was until his forsaken brunette snake slithered in... ★★★★★★★★★★★★★ I groaned, bothered and harassed by the vivid imagery of what had previously happened, excluding the interrupting melee from Susan. I uncomfortably shifted and revolved around my scattered, futile sheets that were much too distraught to provide coverage. The fragrance of his musky, alluring cologne infinitely dwelled on his indigo flannel I somewhat alleviated myself within. My digital clock flickered with bold, red numerals which accordingly read '1:35 A.M'. I was unable to analyze or comprehend the idea of slumber. The concept of Chris irritated and nagged annoyingly at me, depriving me of any relief of relaxation. Observing intently as the scarlett digits increased by each ticking minute, another sixty seconds of my deteriorating life squandered on him. My bed was the grave of the underlying scenario that we both part took in several hours before. Its deranged spirit whispered of my sinful disobedience to my once instilled oath. Fluctuating in multiple, unsatisfying directions on my unleveled, measled mattress, I forced my face into my fluffed pillow. The severe, suicidal contemplation of simply stifling myself within the feathers and cloth floated across my subconscious like an innocent cloud wavering amongst the sky. Discreetly exiting my regular thoughts, I stiffened at the sound of heavy, unsteady footsteps thumping down the corridor. Assuming it was Chris roaming the hallway and scraping the kitchen for left over delicacies or expired meals, I presumed to my normal plotting and suggestions. I didn't expect the abrupt introduction of his figure creeping into my room. A streak of yellow light seeped into the ebony atmosphere, approximately glaring straight into my squinted eyes. With shrunken pupils, I inspected his dark silhouette, immediately biting my sore lower lip slightly. His loosely hung boxers, sewed and embellished with a checkered design, barely clung to him. The elastic band of his briefs hung with peril on his extreme, low torso, exposing a mere inch of his muscular indented 'V'. Paired with the nonexistent shirt he wore, I immediately fawned over his sexy, appearance. "Chris, what are-" he harshly shut the door behind him, not exasperated by the still erect lock that perched open. The lack of lights made it difficult to properly detect what his purpose of entering so exaggeratedly was required for. I only realized his ambition when he invited himself to hover on top of my tiny figure. "I'm not finished with you babe," he growled, immediately beginning his intended goal. Clenching both the buttoned seams of the oversized, rugged flannel I was huddled into, with a single, brutal tug, my bare chest was no longer secluded. Before having a moment to protest, he pinned my wrists down on the ruffled covers of my bed, migrating his lips to my neck. My argument only emitted as a faint gasp and moan, thoroughly enjoying his constant, violent nibbling and sensual sucking at my tender flesh. He was already familiar and accustomed with my body. With eventual lag and a teasing ego, he finally arrived at my perky, round breasts. Adorning them with hot kisses that threatened to burn or singe my flesh, I sighed as my chest heaved and released. "Ah! Chris!" I whimpered when he began suckling at one of my erected, solid nipples. Grazing his warm tongue on every single inch of my boobs, my twinging embarrassment or, perhaps more appropriately, shame faltered away like ashes crumbling from blue flames. My skin immediately roused in temperature, contagiously spreading throughout my entire body. Paving his path down my cleavage and flattened stomach, I hesitated when he taunted the waistline of my vulgar panties. "C-Chris," I wheezed as his tongue traced the spacious region between both my pelvics. My heart was palpitating at a surreal rate along with the rapid flow of my blood curdling through my veins. The vague puncture of fear struck me. "I-I'm scared," I honestly confessed as he fiddled with the satin trim of my underwear. "Shh-" he hushed gently, his lips brushing intimately on my inner thighs. "Don't be scared, I promise I won't hurt you." With his fingers prying my panties down and permitting them to dangle around my ankles, he briefly savored a moment to admire my pubic area. Licking his lips and firmly fixating my limbs on how he desired me to be positioned, a shallow breath hitched in my mid throat. "Relax for me," he purred with his hot breath purposely fanning against my glistening genitals. His soothing words smoothed out my ridged edges and choppy fright, leisurely easing my pressure like magic. He firmly grasped onto my thighs, so tightly that my skin seeped through the gaps of his long fingers. With sufficient time to plot out his performance, I pursed my lips and screwed my eyes shut. All his persuasion finally paid their debts in the end. I strangled the sheets from my iron grip, moaning aloud as an approval of his current gesture. His tongue was soft and supple against my shimmering, folds, concentrating especially on my plump, aching clitoris. "Mhmm," I whimpered, my body jostling sharply when he proceeded to pacify my flitting clit. "O-Oh! Chris, I-I." My hips automatically bucked, angling myself for him to make proper love to my flesh orally. The undescribable pleasure tingled and swished inside of me as events developed more erotic and heated whilst he preserved strong eye contact with me through his curtained hair. I grinded against his then inserted fingers and tongue, edging myself to an absolute wonder of an orgasm. "Ohh! Oh yes!" I convinced him more. My toes curled as a thin, sheen layer of sweat built upon the surface of my skin. I felt myself hot and boiling within my lower abdomen, reflexively earning subtle screams and cries then. Easily predicting my oncoming climax by my obvious reactions and muscle contractions, I pouted and whined when he distanced his once consistent lips from me. "D-Don't stop, please," I pleaded as he licked the residue fluids up from the scape and circumference of his lips. Cleansing his sticky fingers with his mouth and returning to kiss me, my interestingly queer taste still lingered on his skilled tongue. "I've got something better for you babe," he whispered sexily as I raked my nails down the width of his firm, strong back... That night was it, the blissful farewell to my purity. The pleasurable moment of combing with his being, becoming singular in soul and mind with him through physical contact. It was impeccable, beautiful, perfectly executed. But nothing, not even considering our passionate sex, was enough to defeat the comforting promise we vowed to one another. "I love you Chris, so much." "I love you more Starlett, I always loved you."
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