#hope this makes sense i just got off a 12hr shift and i have a fever lol

[butchviking]

tbf there are women (like me) who when we put on makeup are fully aware that we are putting it on only to conform to gender norms and avoid social stigma. like yeah it’s different than women who have never worn makeup, but i feel like there’s more of a scale. i only wear it once or twice a month and honestly it makes me a little angry when i do. if/when i become more willing to take on the consequences of eschewing gender norms i will never wear it again

ok so that post was one i put in my queue when i was angry - bc u shouldnt argue on the internet when ur angry lmao and i do too often so sometimes i put shit in queue to discuss when ive calmed down. problem is my queue is currently over two weeks long so sometimes i forget exactly what prompted the post. HOWEVER.

if i recall correctly that was abt this attitude i see, more often than not from gender-conforming women, that gnc women who disidentify with their sex are. basically self-absorbed sexist idiots who, by disidentifying, are implying that all women except them must love the female gender role and must love being oppressed. like a ~im not like the other girls~ thing. but with 'not like the other girls' i think a lot of ppl are now coming to recognise that, yeah, sometimes it's a sexist statement bc one particular woman thinks she's sooooo much deeper and more human than the other women around her - but sometimes, it's because she can see very clearly that she's NOT like other women. and has felt ostracisation and loneliness about that nd has felt like there must be something wrong with her for being so unlike the typical women in her life. and with trans identity it's often the same thing.

i just can no longer make the space in my heart to sympathise with gender-conforming women who act like gnc women disidentifying w womanhood is some kind of personal attack on them, or on all women. women in makeup and heels who act like it's a slight against them for a gnc woman (who will pretty certainly have faced shit in her life for being gnc) to look at them and say. i'm not her. i'm not whatever she is. i must be something different because if that's what women are then i'm not one and i don't want to be one. it's an argument i'm so fucking tired of hearing and nine times out of ten i will stand w a gnc female who identifies as trans bc she doesn't see any room in the definition of womanhood for her any day before i stand w gender-conforming women who mock or belittle her for that.

i recognise there's a scale of gender conformity, and makeup was just one example, and i know not all women who wear makeup wear it all the time - but, as you say, it is a concession to avoid social stigma. so to me it's like. let she who is without sin cast the first stone. how's a woman who makes concessions to gender because she doesn't have the strength to face the repercussions of refusing to conform going to criticise other women for the concessions they make to get through the repercussions they are facing for refusing to conform.

and one extra point: you say 'it’s different than women who have never worn makeup' but, while i know there are such women out there (and by god, good for them), it's worth noting that for some women - for me, personally - they might have made concessions to gender at times. because they felt like it's what they had to do. what they were supposed to do. as a girl. as a woman. and sometimes, it's disidentifying with womanhood that makes them feel like they're ALLOWED to not do that shit anymore. for several years as a teen i shaved my legs & my pits, wore light makeup most days, even wore skirts and dresses at times. it made me feel like an alien. i hated it. but i'd always been given the message that it was just What Women Do and it's part of growing up that you have to get used to that. and when i discovered i didn't 'have to be a woman' there was a freedom in that for me. i could stop shaving. i never had to wear makeup. when someone told me i walked like a man or dressed like a man or talked like a man or whatever, it didn't have to be an insult. i could take pride in being as masculine and as free & unconstrained by the trappings of femininity as i liked. sure, that's a concession to gender in its own way. patriarchy isn't going to be overthrown by women only feeling comfortable with gender non-conformity when they convince themselves they aren't women. but patriarchy isn't going to be overthrown by women wearing heels and makeup so people will be nice to them, either. you're no better than us.

#ask #anonymous #hope this makes sense i just got off a 12hr shift and i have a fever lol #note i know i said 'you' at the end there but i dont actually mean u anon <3 #u havent pretended to be better and this whole rant ofc isnt really aimed at u #just smthn i had 2 get out & is aimed at those who DO act holier-than-thou abt this #ps this is also NOT aimed at proud gnc women who feel anger and a sense of abandonment at other gnc women who disidentify. #i could prob say a lot abt that too nd i still dont agree if they mock or belittle but. ultimately i am much more sympathetic 2 their angle

[vigilskeep]

question about your worldstates: do you tend to make it so your pcs are somewhat aligned (all three for the same ideals, generally) or maybe at odds with each other? i try to put my heroes in worldstates without considering the other heroes first i think its interesting. my “canon” worldstate has a warden living her best elf and mage rights life with her boyfriend, a bitchy blood mage hawke, and a terrible centrist politician inquisitor and its SO interesting! just curious about your thoughts! hope this makes sense i just got off a 12hr shift

i haven’t played through even one full worldstate so i do spend a lot of time worldstate wrangling aka trying to figure out who goes with who. they’re all generally invented separately. i like them to be pretty different; i like to have one of each class in each worldstate bc i think that’s fun and i probably wouldn’t let my warden and inquisitor be the same species. i like to vary that up and also personalities just in practical terms of getting to mix up the kind of character i’ll be playing

but i like them to be a little at odds with each other too. minerva and keir have a lot in common but i think they would rlly get off on the wrong foot at least initially. uhhh what else. one of the major logistical things is that some of my hawkes are supposed to end up in the fade and some aren’t, so it depends who that choice is going to put them up against and what the inquisitor’s opinion of them will be

[elmozzosays]

June 17 2020 “When it comes to physical endurance, everyone’s different”

Wednesday arrived and it is now my last day of work. I used to have two 12hr days (Mon and Tue) and Wednesday was always the day when I could say “what a relieve!” day. I mostly worked the PM shift in which it allowed me to sleep a nit more and recharge. This pandemic changed the whole dynamic, for better or for worse, especially money wise. Thus far, I have been able to be okay with that -I think my lucky stars are on my side- Knocking on wood for that. I somehow got used to that schedule, mostly working on my own, something I trained myself to do months prior before leaving that other job I had. At this point, I do not know if I could work 12hr shifts, especially alone, For over a year, it’s been quite a struggle for me (mentally) to cope with that. Before the pandemic, I was hanging in there, but at first, man, i threw me off. I was used to work with amazing and cool people around that that in the past, putting up with a weekend did not seem that bad, especially when working with my friends. Ah, those times.... I enjoyed them a lot but it won’t come back. I have so many memories and stories from that time I will break down on this platform in the future. Let me get back on track here, when it comes to people, physical endurance is different in everyone. Let me explain why.

When we are young, we can endure anything, even pain is non existent. As you age, everything becomes visible and pain is your foe. I am 37 now and picking up cycling 5 years ago has made a great difference. I miss lifting weights though (something i have to pick up soon btw) cuz by doing so, girls notice. That’s a total guarantee right there. Back then, a regular customer noticed I was pumping iron, it was a total compliment, Your sense of confidence goes way up as well as everything else. I just been procrastination on that but definitely I must start soon. I also changed my eating ways. Not every one has the same metabolism, I see some people eating a lot and being as skinny as a pencil. I cut my consumption of carbs as well as watching what I eat every day. I consume fruits in the morning at work and I do not usually have a big meal til 6-7pm at night. i try not to eat very late, the alcohol intake has been greatly reduced to 1-2 beers. I do start to notice my body functions better, my general mood has vastly improved all around. I wish I did this way early but it’s never too late. My anxiety has dropped since having a real talk and actually opening up to my best friend, She was the right person to contact, since she has experienced that in the past with those mood swings, Her clever and so on point advice was a determination for me. I will always be thankful for that. Friends like that, I cannot let down and (I hope she knows) she has my back and total admiration.

Okay, with all this physical activity plus almost being standing up at work, it takes a toll on me at the end of the day. Cycling has tackled stress since the beginning and the excitement of Summer time makes me ride even more. I even installed my basic Garmin system on my bike again to start tracking miles plus calories burned, speed and cadence too. The only time to rest is when I sleep. That’s recovery time for me. I am positive with weight lifting, I will add more endurance and bring that confidence i need on my image. I used to work with a cool guy who was also a cyclist but was very fit. He used to give me pointers on what to eat and supplements to take between and/or after workouts. It was good to me surrounded by that positive energy. Miss that guy.

Those are the 2 main activities I can actually do. Unfortunately I don’t play sports (I used to back home), Tennis only on vacation, I cannot run because of my knees and swimming (which is a great recovery sport) only is practiced when on vacation. Did I mention I learned to swim on my own? Most people who watched me were jaw dropping. Ha ha. Listen, it is never too late to start moving and by doing so, you will feel and look good. Girls -or boys, if you are all women reading this- will turn their heads to you and see you how you look. Trust me, it’s worth it. i do have an actual bet on myself: I will want to look good by the time I reach 50. So far, so good but I can do better than what I’m doing now. When there is room for improvement, I am there. Til next time, friends

-jaime