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svubloods · 5 years

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Imagine being the Youngest Reagan: Just the Seven of Us

(A/N: Something different but fun. Just cute really. I hope you enjoy!)

Imagine being the Youngest Reagan: Just the Seven of Us

Staten Island, New York City, New York 1996

Joseph Reagan observed his parents sceptically, to the point he could feel his right eyebrow quirked up in suspicion as he watched them from his position in the backseat. They were certainly acting normally, he thought, as the continued to speak casually to Jamie, your brother, about his high school electives. Everything seemed normal but something was off and Joe knew it. He didn't understand where they were going, why they were being so secretive about it and why they had organised it like this so that they were only ones clued in. Joe’s younger siblings sixteen-year-old Jamie and eight year old Y/N clearly wasn't as curious as he was but maybe that was because as they both still lived at home and going on trips with them on the weekend weren't an unusual occurrence for them unlike Joe, who was now living on the Columbia Campus in the city after starting his freshman year there a few months ago. What was even weirder was that his older sister Erin, a Junior at Columbia, and older brother Danny, a rookie cop, were instructed to meet them at whoever they heading, no excuses. Which meant that unlike him who had decided to catch the train to Staten Island to his parents from the city a day early and stay the night before, they knew where they were all heading.

Though he was naturally curious, he trusted his parents and didn't dwell on it. So he pulled away from his intrigued thoughts and his view of the blurring Staten Island streets through the window to look at his little sister. Who was sandwiched comfortably between him and Jamie in the middle seat at the back seat of the car? He watched amused as she read the book tightly clutched in her small hands intently, her face slightly screwed up in concentration. It was a face that he knew all too well, his Mother and older sister Erin made similar faces when concentrating as well.

He was glad she was enjoying the book. His mom had been telling him that ever since moved out and gave her the book; ’The Ultimate Kid’s Guide to All Things Science’ that she hadn’t put it down. And today was no exception, the book enough to entertain her during the seemingly long trip. Though didn’t need his mom to tell him that she had been enjoying it, she told him every Sunday when he took the train back up for Sunday Lunch back at his parents. He was happy that she was liking it so much, especially as the whole reason he gave it to her was so that on the day he left, she would be too distracted to get too upset. Despite the age difference, Joe shared a very special bond with his baby sister. Unlike Jamie who thought he was too cool and Erin and Danny who were too much older, he loved spending time and talking to her. In fact, he missed hearing about her second grade, well now third-grade escapades. It was either his little sister was a great storyteller or that the lives of eight and seven years olds were vastly more interesting than his own.

Joe leaned into her side gently and bowed his head to whisper to her so that only she could hear.

“Whatcha reading?” He whispered, glancing at the page she was reading.

“How to make a volcano out of paper-mâché!” You whispered excitedly, looking at him with a large grin, “And before it said that inside volcanos there is lava and it's really hot!”

“Lava?” He asked, encouragingly, chuckling to himself as you flipped the page back and pointed at it dramatically.

“Molten rock!” You stated, confidently.

“Woah,” He played along happily, “So you’re enjoying the book then?”

“It’s the best present ever,” You exclaimed, though you were still whispering to each other, “Thank you, Joey,”

“But you still miss me right?” He teased.

You nodded with a playful pout just empathise how much you still missed him and he put his arm around you and gave you a squeeze.

“You’re squishing me!” You squealed, your face pressed up against his torso so it was muffled.  “It’s because I love you so much,” He jokingly singsonged, keeping you pressed into his side as he rocked you from side to side, the best he could from your strapped down position in the car.

“What’s going on back there?” Your Dad’s voice asked with teasing sternest from the driver’s seat, you both glanced forward to see his fascinated eyes fixated on the both of you in the rearview mirror. “Just the usual,” The nineteen-year-old quipped, acting in a way to arouse fake suspicion and to entertain you, “Lava, college, our plans for world domination,”

“Is that right?” Your Dad entertained, looking at his eight year old daughter directly, “What will the great Y/N/N dominate first?”

You paused for a second your face contorting in concentration once again before responding.

“Manhattan,” You declared.

“You might want to ask Grandpa first,” He chuckled.

“Why do I need to ask Grandpa?” You whined, looking at him confused in the rearview mirror.

“Well, he’s the Police Commissioner remember? And that means it’s his job to make sure police officers like me and Danny do their job and protect people. Which includes stopping takeovers from tyrannical eight-year-olds,” He explained, purposely.

“What are you going to do if Grandpa says no, Y/N?” Jamie asked, his conversation over now, and his full attention refocused onto your interaction.

“Ask Grandma, she always says yes!” You revealed, “Especially when I make my eyes big like this,”

You widened your eyes with your fingers and pouted playfully which much to your confusion made everyone else in the car laugh.

“Can I know where we are going now?” Joseph asked your parents when the laughter died down.

“Patience, young Joseph,” Your Mother teased, whipping round to smirk at him, “All will be revealed,”

“You and your dramatics Mother,” Joe quipped, rolling his eyes at his mother and her antics, but he couldn't help the laugh that spilt over despite his best attempts to control himself.

“You hear that Frank?” She giggled, grabbing hold of his arm as he drove, “He’s serious, he called me mother,”

“Should we tell him?” Your Dad entertained, his eyes on the road ahead.

“Yes you should,” He interrupted, “Danny and Erin already know, so it’s only fair that I know too,”

“Well, that’s because there is too many of you to fit in the car,” Your Mom shrugged.

“I don’t know where we are going either,”Fifteen-year-old Jamie added, making sure he was apart of the conversation as well.

“Why can’t I know what I’m giving up my Saturday for?” Joe countered.

“Because you should be happily willing to spend your Saturday with us regardless of the exact details,” Your Mom refuted, “And anyway let’s be honest Joey, you didn't have any plans anyway,”

Jamie snorted.

“Hey,” Joe protested, “I had plans,”

“With Tia?” Jamie joked, rolling out her name as Joe’s cheeks went red.

“Shut up!”

“Whose Tia?” Your mom asked, perking up and suddenly eager, “Don’t tell me I have to start helping to plan another son’s wedding,”

“Mom,” Joe groaned in embarrassment, sinking in his seat slightly.

“That will teach you to try and ruin the surprise,” She laughed, “Now Jamie, how was football practice yesterday?”

It wasn’t long after that, that you arrived at your destination. You pilled out the car and marvelled in wonder at was before you as your brothers quickly followed you. Your parents with smiles on their faces grabbed all your things.

“Coney Island?” Joe questioned in disbelief, “You made me travel from Manhattan to Staten Island only to take me to Brooklyn?”

“We didn't make you come a day early,” Your Dad reminded.

“But you understand that this could have been so much easier, right? If you had told me where we were going for this family Day out!” He protested, helplessly.

“But think of all the fun you had on the journey up with us,” Your mom comforted, side hugging Joe tightly which he quickly returned.

“Now, we have to wait for your brother and sister to get here,” Your Dad announced.

“Babe, give Danny a call to see how long they’ll be,” Your Mother suggested, her and Joe circling the car towards your Dad while you and Jamie stood looking hopefully at the entrance, “He said that Erin was coming with him,”

“JJ is that a rollercoaster? You squealed as the distinctive whoosh of it breezed past you.

“Probably,” He nodded, before crouching down beside you, “But I have a feeling you might be too small to go on,”

“Noooo, why can’t I be taller!” You huffed, slamming your small foot adorned with a thin white sandal on the concrete.

“Maybe next year you'll grow,” He shrugged, nervously, suddenly regretting answering your question without backup, rookie mistake.

“But I want to go on now!” You insisted, “Maybe I’ll grow before we get there, lets go and see!”

“Well, how about we do something else together, instead? Because that’s not going to happen” He offered, hopefully.

“Like what?” You demanded, narrowing your little eyes at him and frowning.

“I’ll buy you a hotdog,” He smiled.

“You don't have any money,” You sighed, disappointed.

“Okay, I’ll get Dad to buy us both hotdogs,” He clarified.

“I want two,” You babbled, “I didn't have breakfast, so I'm really hungry,”

“Why not?”

“I wanted to save space for my milkshake,” You answered before grinning and adding, “Daddy said I could have one if I’m good,”

“How did you know you could get a milkshake?” He questioned.

“Because,” You began dramatically, “Mommy told me where we were going yesterday, she said we were going to the beach and they had milkshakes there. And I love milkshakes!”

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because if I had told you then it wouldn't be a secret and it was a secret,” You reiterated.

He was about to say something else only to be interrupted by the arrival of your older siblings, twenty-three-year-old Danny and twenty-one-year-old Erin.

“All right, we’re here and now tell us why,” Danny announced after he and Erin greeted your parents and the rest of you.

“Now that everyone is here,” Your Mother beamed, “I’ll explain. Your Father and I thought it would be fun to get all of us together for a proper family day, just the seven of us, because it’s very rare we all get together just us and because this might be our last chance as just seven ever before my baby boy get married next weekend,”

Your Mother finished her explanation by engulfing Danny into her embrace and squeezing his cheeks.

“Ma,” He cried, but he did little to remove himself from her grasp, “So that’s why I couldn't bring Linda, huh?”

“We wanted to celebrate it being just the seven us of us,” Your Dad added, going over and clapping Danny on the back, “Before you start your new family,”

“Well not any time too soon, hopefully,” He cringed, not enjoying both of his parent's undivided attention even if it was only for a few moments.

“A new family?” You whispered to yourself.

“Shh,” Jamie sounded, putting his finger to his lips as your parents continued to speak.

You were too consumed with your own confused thoughts to focus on what everyone was saying. All you could remember was looking up at everyone, everyone was smiling and laughing and your frowning at them all but they didn’t seem to notice.

“So we have dinner reservations at a restaurant for Seven, so if we end up splitting up that’s where we will meet,” Your Mom continued to explain, “But since this is a family day I hope we all be sticking together all day and yes I’m looking at you boys,”

Jamie and Danny protested the statement, your Dad and Joe just laughed.

“Oh,” You Mother cried, before pulling all five of you into a bear hug, you only reached her hips so once again your face was squished, “I can’t believe I get to believe I get to spend all day with all five o my babies,”

“Mom, don’t cry,” Erin said above you.

“I might not survive the day if you keep crushing my windpipe,” Danny spluttered.

She quickly released everyone before commenting playfully, “Sorry, for loving you all so much,”

“Come on let’s get going,” Your Dad instructed and with that, you made your way.

From there the seven you made your way around Coney Island. Constantly stopping and starting again, as everything seemed to grab the interest of at least one of you. None of you had realised how much you all had to catch up on with each other, everyone had something going on in their lives that they hadn't mentioned yet or fully explained. Your mother adored having all of you together and the fact that all of you were so close despite the large age differences. It was something she always worried about and the fact that sometimes he felt like she was always being pulled in five different directions which meant at least one of you was always left out. It was much easier when you were all together. Everyone was talking and enjoying themselves, happy. Just by simply being together.

Everyone except for you of course. You couldn't enjoy yourself as much as everyone else. Being the youngest meant that you couldn't participate in the rides that Joe and Jamie wanted to go on or a lot of the activities your Mom and Erin went off to do. So for a good proportion of the day you were on the sidelines with whoever was designated to take care of you. Not that you minded at that point, you were too upset but no one seemed to notice and it would fluctuate when you were distracted. Everyone was too distracted with enjoying themselves to notice that you weren't always. A lot of time to save time someone carried you round so that you wouldn't get too tired too quickly.

“What do you think, rockstar?” Your Mom asked bending slightly to meet you, as you stomped out of the dressing room of a kids clothing store that you, your mom and older sister Erin.

You frowned at the new denim dress that Erin had selected for you, which to you looked exactly like on you already had. You also shook your head to wobble the big red bow that Erin had put in your hair because she said it would match the new red shoes that your mom had selected.

“Well, that isn't a promising look,” She chuckled, grabbing your face in her hands and pulling it closer to hers, “What’s up?”

“I don’t like it!” You insisted.

“But you look so cute in it, well cuter than usual,” Your Mom winked at you with a reassuring grin, “What do you think Erin?”

“Y/N, you look adorable,” She complimented, playing with your mass of curly hair before straightening your bow.

“But I don’t want to be adorable,” You sighed.

“Then what do you want to be?” Your Mom questioned.

“A big girl,” You smiled, “So I can go on the rollercoasters,”

You Mom just chuckled while Erin who was at least a foot taller than your mom at that age knelt down beside you.

“You look like a big girl in that outfit,” she said.

“You’re just saying that because you picked it,” You frowned, narrowing your eyes at her suspiciously.

“No, I mean it,” She promised, “Look we’re matching,”

She gestured to the white and navy striped dress she was wearing and the shirt she had picked for you to wear under your new denim dress. Also white and navy.

“We are,” You beamed, your eyes lighting up before frowning again, “But you don’t like it when Mom tries to dress us the same,”

“I’ll make an exception for today,” She sighed.

“Really?”

“Only today because you look so amazing,” She teased, poking your ribs playfully and sticking your tongue at you.

“Is the lady satisfied?” Your Mom teased, shooting Erin a sneaky wink.

“Indeed,” You played along before you all left the store to meet the boys who were all waiting outside for you to finish.

“Can we go to the rides now?” Jamie asked as soon as you returned to the group.

Your Mom and Dad shared a look before looking down at you, knowing that you were too young to go on anything in that area. They seemed to interact telepathically, coming up with a plan without saying a word to each.

“All right boys, let’s go,” Your Mom responded as Jamie and Joe ran ahead.

“I’ll go too,” Erin added, walking alongside your mom.

Which left you, your Dad and Danny at the storefront. You looked up expectantly at your Dad, purposely ignoring your older brother.

“Hey kiddo, how about we try out some carnival games?” Danny asked.

“No,” You stated, ducking behind your Dad’s legs.

“No?” He repeated, taken aback.

You nodded before grabbing hold of your Dad tightly, his hands flying down to steady you.

“Oh okay,” He nodded.

“Why don’t you go catch up with everyone Danny,” Your Dad suggested pointedly leaving it as just the two of you.

He gathered you up in his arms and held you tightly against him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the Carnival?” He asked, studying your young face.

“Let’s go,”

Fifteen minutes you were happily throwing beanbags and even though you weren't making any progress on the towers of steel cups, you were having fun. And your Dad seemed to be having fun just the two of you as well. He eventually stepped in and helped you win a prize, a toy money that was almost as big as you were.

“A monkey for my little monkey,” He grinned handing you the prize almost causing you to topple over.

“You hold it,” You squealed, shoving it back into his arms as he laughed at you.

He put the monkey over one shoulder and grabbed your hand as you continued your way through the carnival.

You babbled happily to him as you went and even though he engaged with you, usually as happy, he watched you with a curious eye. Not forgetting your interaction with your older brother as well as your mood throughout the day. You were in the middle of telling him the story of your day at school the day before when he bumped into a cop that he knew. Your Father soon became distracted by the conversation enough that you eased your hand out of his. You knew that your Dad loved to talk to other cops and that it might take a while. You looked around for something to do but trying to make sure that you stayed close. You knew better than to wander off. You looked around suspiciously about to give up before you heard some frustrated sighs from a booth beside you.

Curious as ever, you wandered over to see what was making the boy so upset. He was tall and skinny boy, only a couple of years older than you with really blonde hair and bright eyes. You watched for a few minutes as he kept failing to aim the water gun correctly, so he kept on missing his target. He huffed in defeat, turned around and noticed you.

“Oh,” He said in surprise, “Are you waiting to play?”

“No,” You answered much to his confusion, “I was watching you,”

“I’m not very good at this game so it probably wasn't very interesting,” He blushed, shoving his hands in his pocket awkwardly in embarrassment.

“If you want I can show you how to do it,” You offered, brightly, “This is my favourite game,”

“Okay,” He nodded, sceptically, stepping out the way for you.

“You have to do it like this,” You instructed, repeating how Danny had once taught you when playing with water guns in the backyard.

You raised the water gun up with two hands, and aimed it in the right position, keeping your eye on the target before pressing the lever and hitting the bullseye exactly. You kept your hand steady until the tank filled up and the bell rang, indicating that you won a surprise. Once it did and you were handed your prize, a keychain this time, you turned back to look at the boy.

He had been watching you with his mouth open.

“Here you go,” You insisted, giving him the keychain.

“But it’s yours,” He said.

“And I’m giving it to you,” You smiled, “Do you think you can do it yourself now,”

He nodded, “You’re really good at it,”

“My brother Danny showed me how to do it,” You informed brightly before frowning again.

“What’s wrong?” The boy asked.

“My brother is leaving!” You cried.

“Why?”

“He’s getting a new family,” You said, sadly.

“That’s too bad. You’re like the coolest sister ever,” He comforted.

“Really?”

“Yeah, none of my older sisters know how to shoot a water gun,” He sighed, “They just talk about girly things like clothes and boys,”

“Boys are gross,” You shuddered.

“Hey,” He protested, offended.

“Not you,” You corrected, “You’re my friend,”

“I am?” He grinned.

“Yeah,” You nodded. “I’m Dominick, but everyone calls me Sonny,”

“Like sunshine?” You giggled.

“Yeah,” He shrugged, bashfully.

“I’m Y/N,” You breathed, reaching to shake his hand, “Nice to meet you,”

You shook each other's hands vigour-sly before bursting into giggles. You continued to chat about the game as Sonny had another go himself. But you were soon interrupted by your Dad calling for you.

“I have to go now,”

“Bye,” He waved.

You waved back before running back over to your hug who bent down to greet you with a hug.

“Where did you run off to?” He inquired, bopping you on the nose.

“Over there playing a game with my friend,” You pointed, giggling as he shook you around playfully.

“You just make friends everywhere don’t you?” He chuckled as he clasped your hand and you continued to walk up the pier.

“That’s because it's easy,”

“Not for everyone,” He informed before you stopped and sat on a bench that looked out over the seafront, “Do you want to know a secret, Y/N?”

You nodded, turning to look up at your Dad.

“Your Mom and I sat on this very bench on our first date,”

“Really, it’s that old?” You asked.

“Must be,” He laughed, “I took your mother here for our very first date and after we spent all afternoon playing carnival games we came and sat here for hours,”

“And you didn't get bored?”

“I could never be bored when I’m with your mother,”

“Do you get bored of me?” You inquired, curiously.

“No, of course not. I could never get bored of you,” He promised, pulling you into his side, “You’re my baby girl,”

“Is Danny bored of us?” You continued, widening your eyes up at him.

“Why are you asking that?” You Dad returned, clearly concerned.

“Because he’s leaving and starting a new family,” You began to sob, your eyes filling with tears.

“Hey,” Your Dad comforted, wiping away the tears that spilt down your face, “Danny isn't leaving the family. He’s always going to be your brother and apart of this family, all of us will always be.”

“Then why did Mom say, it was last time?” You demanded.

“Because when Danny gets married next weekend, they’ll be eight of us,” He clarified.

“Eight?”

“Well won’t Linda will be one of us?”

“She is?” You exclaimed.

“She’s going to be a Reagan, just like you and just like me,” He reassured.

“I love Linda,” You grinned before lowering your voice, “Sometimes more than Danny,”

“I know you do,” He smiled, hugging you tightly before pulling you away at arm's length, “Now should we go find Danny so you can say sorry for being mean to him,”

You nodded reluctantly before your Dad carried you to the other end of the pier where everyone else was. As you approached, you saw Danny standing with your Mom as your other brothers and Erin rode a ride that was going faster than you had ever seen before. As soon as you were in reach, you made your Dad put you down and you ran up to Danny, slamming into his side with so much momentum that you almost knocked him over before you hugged him.

“What the…Y/N?” He said jumping in surprise before steadying himself.

“Hi,”

“Oh, are we speaking now?” He probed, looking down at you, “You’ve been frowning at me all day,”

“Because I thought you were leaving me” You pouted, “But I know you aren't so we’re friends again,”

“What if I don’t want to be friends with you?” He countered.

You felt your face crumble as you gazed up at him.

“All right, all right, we’re friends,” He insisted quickly, finally hugging you back, “Just never look that upset again, promise?”

“Promise,” You nodded before whispering, “Hey Danny?”

“What’s up kiddo?”

“I’m really happy that Linda is going to be a Reagan,”

“Me too,” He smiled, poking at your dimples as you smiled back at him.

For the rest of evening, you stuck by Danny’s side, sitting by him at dinner and letting him carry you on the beach when all seven of you took a final stroll on the beach before leaving. You don't remember saying goodbye to Danny, Erin or Joe. The next thing you remember is waking up in the car, it was dark outside and Jamie was asleep beside you while your Dad snored quietly in the passenger seat. Your Mom who was driving and had noticed you stirring.

“Did your Dad’s snoring wake you?” She whispered to you.

You shook your head stifling a giggle as your mom motioned for you to be quiet.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“We’re heading home now,” She informed, “Did you have fun today?”

You nodded eagerly at her, “It was the best day ever,”

“I’m glad you had fun,”

“Did you Mommy?” You inquired.

“It was best the day ever,” You smiled, repeating your sentiment.

“What was your favourite part?” You questioned, intrigued as much as you could be in your tried state.

“Spending time for you, of course,” She insisted before adding, “And going back to the pier with your Dad,”

“Because that’s where you had your first date!” You reasoned.

“How do you know that?”

“It’s a secret,” You breathed, putting a finger to your lips.

“Uh huh,” She nodded sceptically, “Or your Dad is a blabbermouth,”

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skele-bones · 6 years

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Ana and the Sleepover

This is the seventeenth chapter of Everyday Heroes.

If you like what I do and want to support me, why not buy me a coffee?

Ana loved her family. It was made of an array of individuals who brought various shades and hues of color to her life. And for someone who lived in the bleakness of self-imposed exile for years, such a thing was a blessing. Her family was broken up in many ways and it took them a lot time to come back together. However, she wouldn’t have changed a thing because this was her definition of a perfect life.

Stepping over toys and making her way into the Shimada-McCree quarters, a duffel bag slung over her shoulder and amused glint in her eyes at the mess strewn about. Dishes were in the sink, toys in the living room, and the television was left on with a paused game. Snack wrappers were stuffed in a spilling trash can and piles of books were organized into a makeshift fort. Blankets, toy wooden swords, and a few band-aids were left on the couch alongside a group of sleeping children.

The door swooped shut behind Ana and she sighed, shaking her head and setting the duffle bag down. Her grandmother’s intuition (as Reinhardt called it) told her that leaving the kids on their own for a night would result in disaster. But from the content smile on their faces, and the state of the room, it seemed like they had a monumental amount of fun. Ana pulled off her poncho and hung it up next to one of Jesse’s many hats, tossing her braid over her shoulder and going to kneel down next to them.

Shingen was caught in the middle of the pile-up, with Mariam and Gabriel on either side of him, Kai lying comfortably on the left of Mariam. Ana smiled softly as she ran her fingers through Mariam’s thick black hair. The little girl scrunched her nose in response and turned over, dragging most of the blankets with her as she did. Shingen’s arm twitched and he tightened his hold on Gabriel who seemed completely dead to the world. Kai was the first one to open his eyes and blearily look up at Ana.

“Granny,” he mumbled. “Is that you?”

Ana chuckled, soft and low. “That it is, habibi.” Her fingers brushed through his spiky hair, and she was briefly in awe of how soft it was. More than likely a testament to Lucio’s skill with hair than Genji’s, especially considering that Zenyatta had no hair to speak of. Amused by her own joke, Ana shifted into a sitting position and hummed a soft lullaby.

“Is dad back?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid.”

Kai slowly nodded his head, struggling to keep his eyes open and failing as he drifted back into sleep. The other children continued to snooze and Ana was almost content with letting them sleep the morning away. However, one glance at her duffle bag reminded her of the morning’s tasks which had yet to be done. Rolling up her sleeves, she cupped her hands around her mouth and took in a deep breath.

“Time to get up!”

With varying degrees of shock, each child shot up out of their sleep or twisted around to look at her. Gabriel threw his hands in the air and subsequently knocked Shingen in the jaw making his teeth clack together.

“Ow!” Shingen held his jaw and curled up in a ball.

Gabriel winced, rubbing his older brother’s head. “Sorry, sorry..”

“The sky isn’t awake so I’m not awake,” Mariam grumbled, pushing herself deeper into the pile of blankets.

Kai crawled from underneath the blankets and stretched his arms up as far as they could go, standing on his tip toes. After a satisfied yawn, he bounced from one foot to the other. “C’mon guys, we gotta get up.”

“No thanks,” Mariam replied.

Shingen waved a hand dismissively, “Pass.”

Ana sat and watched the four of them as they tried to either get up or stay down for a little while longer. Once Gabriel finished apologizing to Shingen, he surveyed the room and stopped when his gaze fell on Ana. Eyes widened comically, he scrambled to his feet and flung himself into her arms.

“Granny!”

He didn’t knock her over and wasn’t very heavy to hold thanks to his small size. Though it also helped that he was cute with a large sunny smile, big brown eyes, and hair practically everywhere.

“Good morning, Gabriel.”

It should have been impossible for someone’s smile to get even brighter but somehow he achieved it. Gabriel kissed her cheek noisily then tucked his head against her shoulder. After that, it only took a matter of seconds for Mariam to rouse from sleep and join him in hugging Ana. Both children were rather small and fit easily on her lap but their ability to talk a mile a minute made it difficult for her to follow along. She caught bits and pieces of their “exciting” tales from last night; something to do with a dragon, three monkeys, and a game with high stakes.

I should probably ask their parents what they’ve been watching on television.

Looking up, she had to hold back laughter as Kai tried to drag Shingen up to his feet. Both boys were around the same size which should’ve made the task a lot easier. Alas, Shingen didn’t take kindly to being woken up and allowed gravity to weigh him down regardless of Kai’s insistence that he use his legs.

“Oh no, gravity is increasing on me,” Shingen said.

Kai grunted and tried to push him up further. “No, it’s not! You’re just not using your legs!”

“Yes it is, Kai, the same thing happened yesterday.”

Both boys went down in a heap with Shingen laying on Kai’s back, the latter having his face pressed against the floor. Mariam laughed and Gabriel nodded his head sagely. Ana figured he must’ve been on the other side of Shingen’s “gravity-increase” before.

Shaking her head, she ushered both children off her lap and stood up.

“Alright, Shingen. It is time to get up.”

He slowly stood up with a “yes ma’am” and Kai scrambled to his feet, shaking his fist at him for “treachery most foul”. Though Ana doubted that Shingen heard him over the loud yawn he emitted after stretching. From there, she sat back and watched them.

Sunlight filtered through the open blinds silhouetting them in golden rays. Shingen and Kai play fought as they gathered up the blankets, folding them from either side. Gabriel cheered on his brother while Mariam cheered on Kai, sometimes throwing themselves into the folding blankets or running underneath them. Ana propped her arm up on her knee, hunched over and pressed her cheek against her open palm.

This was her family.

This was her future.

And though it took time and effort to get to where they were, she wouldn’t trade these children for anything in the world.

“Perhaps after we’re doing picking up in here,” Ana announced, trying to hide her amusement at the sudden attention of four sets of eyes. “We can go into town to pick up ingredients for dinner.”

Mariam and Gabriel’s running came to a halt. They turned to one another with twin looks of excitement and cheered, scrambling to pick up their toys and other objects strewn about. Ana didn’t know what to think about Mariam shoving band-aids back into a first aid kit. Nonetheless, the younger children were like tornadoes running from one corner of the room to the next. While the older children took to making sure they didn’t trip over themselves or smack into something. Gabriel was tugged back by his t-shirt one too many times after he almost collided into the couch or a wall, attempting to run past or through it.

That’s odd.

“Granny, what are we eating tonight?”

Ana tapped her chin and hummed thoughtfully. “I was thinking curry.”

“Curry?!”

If it wasn’t for her years on the battlefield and being in a relationship with Reinhardt, she might have jumped as they all yelled at once. Gabriel grabbed Shingen by his t-shirt and shook him back and forth.

“We’re eating curry!” He yelled at the top of his lungs.

Shingen pried his hands off, “Get off me!”

“Curry!” Kai leapt onto Shingen’s back, prompting Gabriel to cling to his front.

If it wasn’t for Shingen’s balance, he might have fallen over but instead just looked like a very tired and resigned climbing post. Mariam giggled behind her hands and went to save him by poking both Gabriel and Kai in the sides. Both boys leapt a foot away from Shingen and he seemed pleased, ruffling Mariam’s hair afterwards.

Ana shook her head, slowly standing up and rolling her joints along with the cricks and cracks of age. Mariam went to help her when she was halfway up and Gabriel was hot on her heels, both staring at Ana worriedly.

“I’m fine,” she reassured them. “But would one of you be a dear and bring my bag over here?”

Shingen nodded, passing the blanket over to Kai and going to pick up the bag. He slung it over his shoulder, turning around with a confused expression at the burst of applause behind him.

“You’ve gotten stronger, haven’t you?” Ana asked, taking the bag from him once he was close enough.

Shingen’s cheeks colored with pink and he bowed his head, grumbling. Gabriel making muscle flexing motions behind his brother while Mariam clung to his arm, laughing. Ana shook her head, leaving them to their bickering and playing as she pulled out several outfits and a few hair supplies.

“Gabriel, do you want to wear your hair up or down today?” She called over her shoulder.

“Down please!” Gabriel replied.

“Shingen?” She called.

“Up please!” Shingen replied.

“Kai? Mariam?”

“Up,” said Kai.

“Down,” said Mariam.

Ana nodded and stood up, handing Gabriel and Mariam their clothes. “You two go take a shower, okay?” Both children lit up like the sun and took their clothes, close to running off to the shower faster than a hyper train. “Wait one second,” she called, making them stop in their tracks. “What’s the rule?”

Mariam shifted her clothes carefully to one arm and stood tall, her head up and shoulders back in a rather small imitation of Fareeha.

“No playing around because it’s wet and we might fall.”

Gabriel mimicked her but he folded his arms across his chest, making a serious expression that reminded her of his grandpa Gabriel.

“Keep a towel close by and don’t drop water everywhere, if you do, clean it up.”

Ana raised a brow at both of them.

“If you need help, call for grandma Ana!”

She smiled and nodded. “Now off you go,” Ana said and watched them as they disappeared into the bathroom. “I’m taking it that you two already washed?”

Kai and Shingen were halfway through cleaning the rest of the house when they looked up at her. It was strange how two boys who looked so much like Hanzo and Genji could be complete angels.

“Yes,” Kai said.

“Yes ma’am,” Shingen replied, nudging Kai.

“Oh, right. Yes ma’am,” Kai rubbed his side and stuck his tongue out at Shingen. The older boy stuck his tongue out at him and they glared at one another with the ferocity of dragons. At that moment, Ana thought it was wise to put herself between the two. Squealing came from the bathroom and she narrowed her eyes.

“You two better not be playing in there!”

The squealing came to a stop and two voices called out apologies. Ana smiled exasperatedly, shaking her head and leading both Kai and Shingen to the couch. Kai picked up the brushes, combs and hair bands while Shingen sat down between Ana’s legs, his back facing her.

“Thank you, habibi,” she said when Kai put the items down on the couch.

He sat across from Shingen and the two engaged in a game of Rock Paper Scissors. Though every time one or the other won, they’d flick each other on the forehead. After the twentieth flick and a growing red bruise on Kai’s forehead, Ana stopped the game.

“So what did you two do last night?”

Shingen looked back and thought about it, “We practiced sword fighting and Mariam patched us up. And we played—-“

“Wait, what do you mean… Mariam patched you up?”

Kai shrugged. “If we got hit pretty hard, we yelled ‘I need healing’ and she would heal us up. But we didn’t really get hard. It just made her smile to help us.”

Ana stared blankly. That had to be one of the cutest things she ever heard. Shingen nodded along. “I even let Kai beat me so Gabriel could ‘defend my honor’.”

“What do you mean you let me beat you?”

Kai glowered at Shingen, poking him in the chest.

“I beat your fair and square!”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

Ana shook her head and finished putting Shingen’s hair in a high ponytail. By the time she was done, he was nose o nose with Kai debating who really won. That above all else reminded her how close they were to Genji and Hanzo. Especially when Shingen stood up and turned around to look at her, the gold scarf moving with every turn of his head.

“Feels good?” She asked.

Shingen brushed his fingers along his hairline, momentarily forgetting the argument with Kai.

“Yep,” he replied and moved to sit beside her as Kai sat between her legs.

“So what else did you do?”

Shingen kicked his legs back and forth. “Played Battlefield With Uncle Rat and Uncle Hog,” he said. “We built forts out of books and completely demolished Uncle Rat And his team.”

Ana hummed. Junkrat and Roadhog being around did make sense. The two of them were stellar with the children aside from the occasional explosion or two. It also explained the forts and the smell of barbecue.

“I’ll take it they fed you as well,” Ana asked.

Both boys winced. “Something like that,” Kai muttered. “We might of had an incident with the smoke alarm.”

Yes, that made a lot of sense.

“We’re done!”

Ana tilted her head back and saw two children running in with fluffy white towels wrapped around them. They were soaking from head to toe, damp curly hair plastered to their foreheads and infectious grins on their faces. Their clothes were nowhere in sight and Ana almost asked before remembering.

She asked them to bathe. Not put on their clothes.

“Mariam! Gabriel!”

Both kids laughed, running down the hall and Ana finished with Kai’s headband letting him get up. She brushed the hair off her pants and called out to them.

“You better run, Granny is going to get you!”

#anahardt #mchanzo #fanfiction #overwatch #r76 #everyday heroes

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perfectlittlesatellites · 6 years

Text

October 3, 2018

I’ve had a really long day of running around. Grading during free periods, ending my day with 3 classes in a row and office hours, driving down to the hospital for a staff meeting and then back to school for the Freshman Parent Guidance Meeting, which I was asked to attended and have been hounded about for a month and have always received grief for not attending the evening session, only for Mark to ask me when I arrived, “What are you doing here?” because I was the only advisor to show up. The rage-filled live-texting I did was an excellent sample of the pettiness of school idiocy and politics, (and the violence of my creative streak).

I get home and S looks very grave and says he has to tell me something, and he didn’t want to tell me earlier because he knew the type of day I was having. He starts talking about my grandmother, who beat breast cancer-but we found out a year or so ago (when she fell and broke her hip) that her numbers were up, and it turned out the cancer was back and had metastasized in her bones. It’s terminal. We know that. She has been slowly but steadily declining in the two years since she broke her hip, but she’s also 86. She recently began experiencing difficulties urinating, got catheterized 2 weeks ago, and her urologist told my mom and my grandparents earlier this week at their appointment that the bladder itself is fine, but the issue could be tumors in her spine compressing her bladder, so they now have another appointment scheduled with her oncologist to get a prognosis.

All of which I knew-except, obviously, that last part, about spinal tumors and worse cancer news. Because despite telling me she’d keep me posted, when we talked this week my mother said everything’s “fine, nothing new.”

That information slipped out to S in a conversation with my brother yesterday morning, when when S let him know that our mom had specifically not mentioned that news, G turned white, looked sheepish, indicating to my husband that there was a reason I hadn’t been told, and that he had fucked up by sharing that information.

Needless to say, I’m fucking furious.

This has been my relationship with my parents and G more and more since moving out, reaching a really noticeable point about 4 years ago. My mom had called my at work one night and told me the cancer was back and that it getting into her bones was terminal. My voice shook a little when I asked about prognosis and next steps, and my mom said to me, “There’s no use crying about it. She’s in her 80′s. She’s had a good run. However long we have her, we have her.”

Like she’s a horse we’re sending out to pasture or something, and like I was unstable to react otherwise. This is where the alienation began to shift, and slowly turned into secret-keeping.

Like the dozen or so times over the last 2 years that my parents and G would have dinner out with my grandparents (and sometimes my aunt, if she was down from MA) and were eating 10 minutes away from our house and never thought to ask if S and I would like to be included, only to talk casually about it the next time we talked. Or my cousin’s autism diagnosis, which I had called 2 years beforehand anyway as a possible explanation for his over-stimulation and social lag. Or my older cousin’s anxiety diagnosis that eventually came out of all the GI tests he had done. At their anniversary dinner 2 weeks ago, my mom super conspicuously ducked out to our living room to take a phone call. After a few minutes I got a sinking feeling it was about my grandmother, since they had cancelled with us last minute because of her ER visit, and she looked like she got caught in a drug deal when I entered the room, only to tell me that she was getting an update from her cousin on my great aunt, who had been in the hospital and was being discharged to a rehab. And even then, that day it had taken all sorts of awkwardness and borderline aggression to get the information about my grandmother. My grandfather left me a message simply stating he was canceling and wouldn’t answer the phone when I called back to communicate my regret about it. So I called home and no one answered. When I texted G and asked what was going on, he hemmed and hawed and pretended not to know anything (because he was buying time to text/call my mom), who then called me from the beach and still resisted telling me what was happening until I pushed. So this whole keeping me out of the loop about family business has been building and building, and now it’s got me pissed off. Because it’s like since I don’t live under the same roof anymore, that dynamic I had always pushed back against-like my mom, dad, and G are family and I’m not-has just escalated, and now I’m not privy to any information whatsoever.

It’s like I’m no longer family-or at least truly family-because I was married and out of the house by 26, and did what I was supposed to by leaving the nest. And while before when we were kids G woudn’t stick up for me, but cling nervously to his position as the favorite, he is willingly watching me be cut out of this family-like, surgically, participating in the secrecy towards me and not really questioning it more than a superficial shrug.

So my dad bullies me with or without an audience, my mom and brother allow it, and my mom and brother block me from knowing what’s going on in the family, like I don’t have a right to be a part of it.

What. The. Fuck.

All because I got a little choked up when my mom dropped the bomb on me at work that my grandmother’s cancer was back when she had been cancer-free for so long?

Or is it because I cry at all?

Because here’s the thing: I know my grandma will likely not be with us much longer, especially if this tumor hypothesis ends up being true. If she has to be permanently catheterized, she will become demoralized, depressed, and give up, and she will deteriorate even faster. I know her well enough to know that. I don’t need a medical degree to get that.

And when she eventually passes away, I will cry. I will mourn the loss of my only grandmother that I really knew. I will miss her. I will grieve the impossibility of her getting to meet the next Eileen, her great granddaughter, and it will suck that she, my mom, my baby and I will not ever get to all be together. That sucks. I will shed a tear for the fact that when she and Grandpa went to Florida, and when mom and dad made up their minds about me, this altered the course of my relationship with her for a long time, and what it could have been, which I’ve only recently been able to enjoy. That we weren’t closer, especially as I became a woman and an adult. Sure I will.

Because I’m a fucking human being.

But I’m not going to lose my shit. I won’t be fucked up about it. Because I realized a while back that my parents had their own version of me that they presented to other adults in my life. And that while my grandma sipped the Kool-Aid for a little bit, and has spent most of the last decade living a mile or two away from my parents and G, she has been at times vocal about her preference for G-not directly, mind, but the message was there. But she also never did it at my expense. She clearly preferred him because he was the one my parents deployed to help them with tech in their house, and he was the one at all those dinners my mom was telling them I was busy for but I was actually ignorant of, and all offers I made to chip in were brushed off by my mom. But when she and I were alone, when we had our time together, she let me know what’s what.

I remember back in 2009 she was the one who requested my mom invite me to join her Mother’s Day trip to New York for an evening dinner and show since I lived there. She insisted on coming to see my apartment-she beamed at how, “metropolitan” I was, and as she was getting ready to get in the cab at the end of the night, she hugged me tight, and she kissed her bold red lipstick all over my face, and she told me,

“I am so proud of the brave woman you are. Keep going. I want you to stay here and see this through as far as you can take it. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not smart or you can’t do it, because you are! I love you for it, so much, my girlfriend.”

I obviously minimized and self-deprecated, just like I’ve always been taught. She whacked me in the leg with her cane and said, “Stop it. I love you, girlfriend. You keep all of this up-don’t you disappoint me by stopping too soon. I love you too much for you to ever settle. You got this.”

“I love you, too.”

“I know you do. You show me all the time by how proud you make me, every day.”

I cried so hard after that cab pulled away because that was the first time in at least a decade that anyone in my family had told me they were proud of me, especially without a qualifier (especially one that involved G), and it was the first time an adult in my family had said, “I love you,” in almost as long.

Since then she has often reminded S to, “worship” me because I am a catch, because I am her girl.

She gushed throughout the entire wedding process.

Every time I see her, she is happy to see me and she tells me how glad she is I continue to invite her for holidays (as if I wouldn’t?) and I get her her favorite snacks, and get her, “cool” gifts that help her feel hip and chic.

We had a long conversation when I saw her the 2nd or 3rd time after she fell, when she was in my mom’s nursing home for rehab. She was depressed and self-pitying and angry with mom for making her go to PT. I talked to her about the validity of her feelings and fears, but encouraged her to start the antidepressants that were being recommended by the staff psychiatrist-that there’s no shame in needing a little help-that her body and mind are connected, and it’s not as simply as willing the pain away. I encouraged her to talk to the social worker, to have someone on her side whose only agenda was to provide her with safety and validation and encouragement. And if she wouldn’t, to call me and yell and wail and bitch and that I could hold that for her. She got tearful and asked, “When did you become so smart, and so wise?”

I told her simply that it had been a while, but that mom and dad didn’t quite see it that way, and that it could stay our secret. And she took me up on it a few times, and she was always grateful for the ear.

So maybe she only sipped that Kool-Aid, and as much as she sings G’s praises and S’s in front of others, it will only ever earn an eye roll from me.

I won’t have unfinished business with her when she passes, whenever that is. Will I wish she had been more public in her acknowledgement of me? Sure. But that’s about me, not about her. She is a black and white thinking, and can only have one favorite. It doesn’t mean she devalues me. I will wish we were closer. But she knows I love her. She loves me the way she knows how: by outwardly favoring the boy, and sharing her quiet, more vulnerable moments with me.

I will not have any regrets. Because she saw me, and I let go of the need for her proclaimed approval once I knew it existed at all.

You know who will be really fucked up?

G, when he loses his most vocal source of praise and one of the few people who, “needs” him.

My uncle, the favorite child who has been largely uninvolved with her care despite being 15 minutes away, and missing many opportunities for time with her.

My aunt, who is depressive and perfectionistic, and who will struggle with guilt and anger towards her husband for uprooting her and the kids to MA, and couldn’t be more involved despite desperately wanting to be.

The most fucked up of all will be my mom. The oldest child who was never the outward source of pride, who broke her own heart to get the approval she wanted and is bearing the brunt of her care now. Who rarely gets a thank you but gets bitched at simply because she’s there, because she’s safe and reliable to receive her anger. I know she’s internalizing this. She is already batshit crazy about all of the praise she’s not getting, the reciprocity that’s not obtainable so long as my grandma is as bitter and angry and lost as she is right now.

The woman scolding me for having a human reaction to a cancer relapse is going to need the most whenever Grandma’s time comes. She is going to be bereft and lost.

And who does she think is going to provide her emotional support and hear all of this?

My, “feminine logic,” emotionally retarded bully of a father?

My emotionally stunted, overgrown adolescent brother who still sleeps in the same twin bed and lets his dad make his bagged lunch?

Or her daughter, who can speak about and hold emotions and provide empathy and gentleness, not just because she’s a compassionate person, but because she’s a trained fucking counselor, and not a cyborg?

THIS. THIS is what makes me so insane about all of this shit with my family.

I’m never smart enough until there’s a question G can’t answer because it’s my area of expertise. I’m never wanted around until I heed that response and back away. No gift good enough. What have you.

And I’m unstable and emotional when I communicate that they hurt me, and ask for what I need, or am overwhelmed or stressed about how my family treats me. It makes me angry and unworthy.

But when you need a free therapist? That’s when you want me to provide all of the things you denied me for all of these years, even as you’re still excluding me and hurting and keeping secrets from me?

When do I get to become a fully operational person to them?

Maybe I need to cut away from my family for a while. Or maybe altogether.

I feel like they just make me so angry all the time, and I hate the person I am in those moments.

I feel like with all of this, I’m being poisoned. I hate it.

#dysfunctional family

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