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stillsolo · 7 years

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♡ + luke

♡ sibling+ sea + dancing + freedomSend me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon( drabble ). [ not accepting ]( . here’s 2.7k of bittersweet romantic angst for my otp ily @tatooinelight | @techniiciian

A murmur rippled through the crowd, disrupting Han’s blank staring at the ground. He followed their gaze to the entrance of the center building where Astri had appeared, her silhouette outlined by the flaring backdrop of a dying sun.

Strapped to her lower right thigh was the ceremonial clan dagger that his family had salvaged from the war early on, glinting brightly against the navy blue of her evening gown, perfectly matching the colorful beads slung to her shoulders. Without a doubt, it was the last of the remaining daggers that represented their rank as nobles of Corellia.

With his back rested against a tent beam, Han shifted where he stood, then peered down at his own dagger, rather uncomfortable with parading around anything that disclosed his aristocratic background.

So rooted in denying his bloodline, Han had made no mistake, and argued with Elka until he was breathless, cross-eyed furious, and just about ready to jump ship out of sheer frustration. Fierce loyalty to Corellia and its traditions permitted little room for Elka to understand Han’s viewpoint yet, she’d fallen lenient anyhow.

Han hadn’t bothered to dwell on the reasons why she’d proven merciful and allowed Han to don attire that didn’t remind him of his time spent serving the imperial ranks. Instead of a pressed Corellian uniform, Han delighted in the comfort of a cream-colored tunic and dark trousers. Thin and loose, ideal for the weather this evening.

Across the distance of several meters, their eyes met briefly, and Astri beamed like when she was no larger than a baby krahbu. The memory pulled a small smile from Han. Following a sideways glance informed him, Luke had his eyes on her too, probably just as impressed a rough tomboy such as she cleaned up so well. It was true; Astri was glowing.

Few words could describe a moment like this, where Han could swear Corel must’ve blessed them, what with how light began circling her slim form like a halo — a single cheer exploded.

The crowd erupted in high spirits and joyous laughter, music following Astri’s rallying holler, unsheathed clan dagger held high in the air as their symbol of hope, stirring the hearts of many.

After a moment’s pause, Han joined them.

Luke faced the horizon to watch the mess of barnacled rocks forming the coastline begin to fade in the distance. With the final vestiges of daylight failing, twilight began to beckon at the stars. Like a dream, Luke thought. The holo-images he’d studied in his youth couldn’t come close to this—not now, not when he felt as though he could simply reach out and touch the endless welkin with the tips of his fingers.

Absorbed in his private musings, he didn’t hear the tell-tale crunch of leaves behind him.

❝I wouldn’t stand so close to that Teljan tree, Skywalker. A raptor-wasp colony has nested in her branches.❞

Instinctively, Luke tipped his head back, then grimaced at the buzzing hive hung barely two meters above his head. He swallowed and backed up slowly, so as to not alarm the deadly insects. Out of everything Han had taught Luke while residing on Corellia, the man hadn’t failed to always express a single rule above all: no sudden movements.

❝I … I didn’t see it.❞ Luke flung a haunted look over his shoulder once he was far enough away and moved to stand next to Elka who had her arms crossed, seemingly entranced by her home world’s beauty as Luke had been.

Gentle winds caressing their faces, Luke pondered why wasn’t Elka at the center of the celebration, where she belonged.

As if she’d heard him, Elka chuckled. ❝It’s dinnertime. The banquet will begin as soon as we arrive.❞ Elka tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled, her amber hues twinkling. ❝We can’t begin without you.❞

❝Psst. Sit with me.❞

Luke blinked in confusion. Disorientated by the firelight, he had trouble locating the whispered voice until he felt a gentle tug on his tunic. It was the girl from before. Upon Luke’s second hesitation, she yanked his tunic harder than before.

❝Ah, all right.❞

Luke surrendered and moved to sit cross-legged beside her, clear apprehension jerking the corner of his mouth when he noticed Han sat beside her, and he’d wedged his way between them.

Before he could ask if he had permission to sit here, Luke spotted the many fresh fruits and berries gathered into bowls. Attention duly captured, Luke was quick to note the placement, an arrangement made to encircle the large radius of firelight. This was for sharing.

Always eager to taste any bits of non-synthesized food, Luke plucked a cloudberry from the nearest bowl.

❝Psst.❞

Luke turned to the girl again and saw in her big brown eyes, the slightest glint of amusement. Though he couldn’t see for himself, Luke knew for a fact that Han was grinning.

Were all Corellians like this?

❝Not yet.❞

❝Oh,❞ Luke blew out a winded laugh, setting the fruit back. ❝Sorry.❞

❝My brothers and sisters of Corellia,❞ Elka emerged from the shadows, her voice was strong as she moved gracefully through the assembling crowd, pausing only to ruffle the hair of young children.

Han flattened his palms behind him, his long legs spreading wide over the decorative rug as he weighed his odds of escaping a long, rather unnecessary speech for a drink. Burning suns, Han knew what was coming. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away just yet.

Even as his gut twisted and clenched, warning him that this was it, Han waited patiently, familiarized with preconceived notions coiled tightly in his belly, anticipating an instance such as this. He turned to Elka as she rounded the blaze, a knowing look fell his way. For a fleeting second, she smiled at him, and Han understood he’d long been discovered.

So, Elka knew Han had been looking for such signs as well.

❝Let us give thanks for this bountiful food. And let us also give thanks for the presence … of this brave, young man, whom we honor here tonight.❞

Many eyes followed to where Elka had gestured. Murmurs swept amidst the Corellisi.

Just as jarred, if not more, Luke shook his head with vehemence then dropped his chin. Gripped by a vicious shame and unable to meet the clan leader’s gaze, Luke’s stomach sank at the frenetic whispers buzzed around him. ❝Please, Madame, I wish you wouldn’t. I’ve — I’ve done nothing in my life worth honoring.❞

From where he sat, Han narrowed his eyes at the blatant humility. Quite the far cry from the Imperial Prince he’d encountered months ago, and many a time before that; He straightened up, listening carefully.

Without a stirring of wonder, Elka flashed a look to Han and saw that he as well, recognized within blue eyes, Luke’s honesty, seeing it for what it truly was. She broadcasted a jovial smile. If Luke’s return had surprised her, she didn’t let on.

❝First, you rescue my little Han from The Death Star.❞ Han scowled deeply when Elka crossed the distance to ruffle his hair, his protests falling wordless. ❝Then, you defend my youngest sisters from ekster bandits … You think that is nothing?❞

Luke’s gaze fell again.

Elka leaned down, her cool fingertips ghosting over blond fringe as the firelight flickered wildly. Beside them, Luke could see in the corner of his eye, Astri’s blue gown sparkling like the night sky behind her.

I don’t deserve this.

❝It seems you do not know what is worthy of honor.❞

Even after hours into the festival, the people continued their dance, every movement full of poetry. The line of dancers advanced, then retreated, pirouetted; their arms waving from side to side above their heads, holding up bright pieces of cloth, etched with the symbols of fallen Corellian clans above their heads, honoring them after death. Swaying, colorful garments fluttered behind them and their eyes continued to flash, highlighted by the firelight.

A strange thrill swept him when a much older, larger clan member swung Han his way, her rambunctious laughter barely audible in all the commotion. Han met his eyes with a coaxing grin, his hand extending towards Luke before he dropped completely from Luke’s line of sight, the fast-moving bunch shrouding him from view.

❝Han!❞

Ultimately lost to the boisterous thrum of drums and flutes scaling to their crescendo, Luke sucked in a sharp, short breath and stepped forward, alarmed. Seconds had elapsed before Luke spotted Han again, cradled in sturdy arms, Han was grinning sheepishly at the large woman who’d dipped him. Drawing back, Luke laughed breathlessly.

Once Han untangled himself and thoroughly glad he was still in one piece by the end of it, he hollered to Luke. ❝Dance with me!❞

Luke shook his head vehemently, prompt to mouth, ‘No’.

Han beckoned wordlessly, repeating cajoling gestures to no avail. Luke had raised his hands to emphasize his decline, but Han was a crack of lightning, a profound force rippling the ground, surging right up into Luke’s bone marrow. Like liquidized energy pouring from the inside out, gone again in a leap of a heartbeat, and he blinked against the moment’s disorientation, blue eyes widening in the face of Han curling his arm around his waist, hauling him forward and into the crowd.

❝But I don’t — but I don’t know how!❞

Luke stood stiff as a board when Han managed to drag him to the center ring. Curious stares from a dozen or more strangers registered as merely minor information, Luke’s sole attention centered on where Han’s arm remained coiled around his waist and the warm hand clamped to his.

At the touch of warm breath to his ear, Luke straightened his back instinctively, hearing Han’s voice as he’d never heard it before. Like dark velvet.

❝Relax.❞

It’d taken some time to work Luke out of that austere posture, his unyielding form at last mollified by the encouraging shouts and whoops of approval going off around them.

❝See? ‘Knew you could do it.❞ Han murmured and caught hold of Luke’s waist again when he’d strayed too far for Han’s taste, tugging him nearer. The music’s insistent beat merged with the textures of wind and sand and firelight, clapping hands synchronized to the frantic cadence of blood beating against their ribs, their chests pressing tightly together.

Luke was panting, though a ghost of a smile began to shadow his lips. He touched his hand to Han’s cheek, thumb sweeping over rough stubble, a query phrased in touch. Words had clogged his throat.

Do you see it too? What we could have — all that we could be.

Han gently lifted Luke’s hand and placed it down over his heart in an answer.

A held breath burned up inside Luke’s chest.

Reality had offset the moment the hard glitter appeared in Han’s eyes, his expression unreadable as he slowly leaned down to brush a kiss against Luke’s mouth.

I’m sorry.

Standing at the cliff side, Luke was adrift, moorless in the rhythm of the sea beating through his blood and bones. A cold breeze filled him, and he tasted salt on his tongue as white spray whipped all about him, feeling as frightened as he was enthralled by Corellia’s oceans.

War hadn’t touched this part of the capital, but as the three moons rose to cast light all around, the hard tracks of time and decay were visible everywhere. Regardless, the scenery drew him back time and again, even after the girls had found him twice and towed him back to the bonfire.

Far in the depths of the Corellian night, he felt the tide shift, water turning to follow the moons back to shore. As fate would have it, Luke didn’t wait long. The unmistakable crunch of leaves began another time, the stride falling long, and was nothing like the rapid drumming of little children’s feet.

Luke felt a hand on his shoulder and moved up on their own accord. Touching came so easy now. As if tonight had unfurled a new channel between them.

❝Back here again, huh?❞

❝I like it here.❞ Luke responded without so much as an affirming glance to Han. His arms had crossed tightly over his chest, hope ported without reason, and now there was little choice but to hold on to it fiercely, faltering at the leap of contingency.

❝Then stay — here, with me.❞

When no answer came, Han fell silent, staring past him to where the water met the dark sky.

Han tossed up a hand. ❝Should’ve seen it coming from a mile ‘way. The way Elka’s looked at me lately, made it obvious,❞ he said slowly, his eyes averted. ❝She approves, y’know.❞

And when Han’s head rose, the look on Luke’s face slammed it all home again. Rejection, atop flickering disbelief, a quickening of loss that shoved the sand under Han’s bare feet.

Hells, the kid was doing it again — filling to the brim with such fears and doubt; his past, haunting him.

❝You don’t know what you’re asking for.❞

The inevitable consequence of seizing a destiny not meant for him.

All he wanted was to keep Luke with him, for now, so long as he’d want it too. Come hell or high water —

❝I want you. Not an Imperial Prince. Just the man I’ve gotten to know for the past few months.❞

❝This isn’t my path to take.❞

❝Your life is your own. You always have a choice.❞

❝I don’t.❞ Luke raised a hand and touched the force inhibitor buried in the skin of his neck, his thumb rubbing gently over the knob. ❝I can’t wear this forever.❞

❝It’ll kill you, won’t it?❞

❝Yes. I programmed it to.❞ Luke nodded. His head lifted slowly, and his voice was but a whisper. ❝And when the power source fails, it will detonate on its own.❞

❝You didn’t tell me.❞ Han swallowed sharply against misdirected anger. Brittle as glass, the truth came to probe his will, testing boundaries he’d never thought of.

❝But you’d guessed right.❞

❝Why?❞

More of a demand than a question. But Han needed this more than anything.

❝Suicide was never an option. Palpatine’s will to keep me alive forbade even the thought; my father defied death before because of him. Once the inhibitor took away his influence on me, I — I didn’t know if I could do it myself. I wanted a means to an end; an ultimatum.❞

It had carried in his voice, the mark of some long-term inner battle, and it clawed fiercely at Han’s chest, pulling him inside out.

Luke gave him a thin smile, the clear desolation in his eyes a solid punch to Han’s gut.

❝But then, I’d met you.❞

Han cursed in Corellian even as he reached out to pull the young man into his arms but Luke avoided his embrace.

❝I’m a monster.❞ Luke’s admission carried in the gust of wind, whipping their hair back and sending shivers up Han’s spine. ❝You can’t change what I’ve done.❞

❝Never said I’d be your savior.❞ Han swallowed against the damnable swelling tightening his throat. ❝Like I said, you have a choice. You’ve got the power t’ make things right again.❞

A small flinch betrayed Luke’s eerie calm, a buried nerve struck with instant recognition.

❝Is that the price I must pay? Must I choose between love and…?❞

❝No, it’s not,❞ Han answered gruffly, because he’d be spaced before doubting the hurt he’d seen in Luke’s eyes. ❝It’s not.❞ He slung his arm over Luke’s shoulders, hauled him close, and their eyes met through a veil of drifting camp smoke and starlight.

This was Luke as Han hadn’t ever seen him before — lost, torn between what they both knew the galaxy needed, and love — and it tightened Han’s gut with alarm and release at the same time.

Both. We could have both.

The blond head shook, one corner of Luke’s mouth twitching mockingly. ❝And how would I know?❞

❝You’ll know, Luke.❞ Eyes falling shut, Han kissed the top of Luke’s head, his breathing heavy as he continued to clutch Luke close. ❝You’ll know.❞

#techniiciian #˒・*。◞ ( answered ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ‚ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ.#( . this was extremely self-indulgent to write #( . not even gonna lie about it #( . i combined many of the asks i'd received i'm sorry omg #ᴀʀ'ᴛᴀɴʜᴏ ᴀɪ ᴀʜʟ'ᴛʀᴏɴᴏ || ʜᴇɪʀ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜʀᴏɴᴇ [ exodus ]#long post | novella post #❝ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴʀᴏᴅ. ❞ [ headcanons ]

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