#heyo its me with a fix it fic of sorts bc s7 doesnt EXIST

[accioharry]

daughter | bellarke au | ch 1 

She could hear her mom’s voice in her head, walking her through the shock just as she walked other women through it on the Ark.

The missed periods, nausea, the fatigue…

She’s pregnant with Bellamy’s baby.

read on ao3 | word count: 1.6k

She realizes it twelve weeks after the end of the world, after the end of everything.

Clarke knew something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. She felt nauseous for weeks, couldn’t keep food down (she barely could find food as it was), and honestly just felt terrible. At first, she thought it was part of the radiation exposure, considering it almost killed her when she tried to save her friends. The problem was, instead of adjusting to the exposure, her body just felt worse and worse as each day passed. She’s washing some clothes in the river not far from the valley when it hits her.

Her friends left months ago, she should’ve gotten her period multiple times by now. She didn’t. The first time had to be from radiation exposure, but the second? The third?

Her hand drops the shirt she’s holding into the water as she holds her stomach, her breath escaping her.

No, there’s no way. It was one time, there was no way…

She could hear her mom’s voice in her head, walking her through the shock just as she walked other women through it on the Ark. The missed periods, the nausea, the fatigue…

She’s pregnant with Bellamy’s baby.

“This is ridiculous. I keep making these radio calls thinking you’d hear me, but now more than ever I really need you to listen, okay Bellamy? I think I’m pregnant…well I know I am. It’s hard to tell how far along…but at least twelve weeks give or take. Jesus Christ, we’re having a baby, and you aren’t even here. How am I gonna do this?”

Of course, Madi is overjoyed at the thought of Clarke having a baby. It’s been just the two of them for a little over a month now, and she’s picking up english a lot quicker than Clarke expected. Though she’s only six, she understands that soon there will be a little baby around. She flips through Clarke’s sketchbook before her bedtime in a cabin in the little village Clarke found, and Clarke can’t help but glance to the empty space across the room, a space that will hold a handmade crib in a few short months. She’s terrified of doing this alone, without Bellamy, without her Mom.

Madi talks to Clarke’s stomach every night, even though there is no sign of a bump yet or at least an actual baby bump. Clarke plays along with the excitement for Madi’s sake but finds herself crying every night after she tucks her into bed.

Bellamy and Clarke slept together the night they made the list of the ones who would make it into the bunker. It was a one time, just because the world is ending, type of thing. Except now, there’s a physical, lifelong memory growing inside of Clarke. She’s alone, has no doctor, no medicine, and no idea if the baby is even healthy. She just has to wait, and hope her body does what it’s supposed to do.

She starts showing at around fifteen weeks. 

The bump is still pretty small, but enough that Madi notices. She’s working on copying sentences Clarke had written for her when she notices.

“Baby!” She gets up and points to Clarke, who’s cooking dinner. She runs over and puts her hands on Clarke’s stomach. “I see the baby!”

Clarke looks down at her, at this wild child that she’s come to adopt in the last few months. Madi’s excitement about having a baby almost takes the fear of losing Bellamy away, almost. She smiles and runs her hands through Madi’s hair.

What Madi doesn’t know that after Clarke put her to bed, she went out of the village and screamed into the rain, her hands cradling her tiny bump as she fell to her knees. “Please,” she sobs, “I can’t do this without him.” She sits there in silence, letting the rain wash over her. “Please don’t make me do this alone,” she whispered, because maybe, just maybe, he was still alive.

She never gets a response.

They start the nursery towards the end of Clarke’s second trimester.

She’s worried about so many things, the birth going wrong, the baby not making it, the baby not having nightblood—even though it should. There’s too much stress, and having a distraction makes it a little easier. She moves herself and Madi into a bigger cabin further into the valley, a cabin that has three rooms instead of just one. She’s decided eventually she will change all the cabins for her friends, but that’s for months, maybe years after the baby is born.

There’s no way for Clarke to know the gender of the baby because there’s no way to do an ultrasound. Madi is convinced the baby is a girl and has started throwing names out there, mostly names from the stories she’s heard. Clarke can’t bring herself to come up with a name, boy or girl, because that just makes it feel real.

They use berries to paint the wall of the nursery where the crib will go. Surprisingly, Madi knows more than Clarke expected from the seven-year-old. Her birthday was a few weeks ago, and all she wanted was to meet the baby. She was more excited than Clarke and was fearless about it. They find a crib in another empty cabin, though run down and falling apart. It doesn’t take long to fix it, and Madi puts it under a window in the nursery. She also brings clothes and toys from other parts of the village that had yet to be explored. There isn’t much, but it’s enough.

Clarke goes into labor as soon as she hits 38 weeks.

She’s sitting on the floor, sketching a picture of the baby’s nursery, when she feels the flood of water from between her legs. She tries to stay calm, knowing Madi is asleep down the hall in her own room, but by that morning, Clarke is having her first contractions.

Madi is up by dawn as usual, and she remembers everything Clarke had told her. They had prepared a corner of the cabin for labor, with pillows and blankets and other towels. Clarke refuses to sit there until she knows it’s time to push, which wouldn’t be for a few hours. She spends the day on the couch, timing contractions with Madi, who has decided to write it all down on a page in Clarke’s sketchbook. Madi brings her water and sits with her, but she’s restless and impatient. For once, Clarke agrees.

The baby is born shortly before dinner.

It’s a long thirty minutes of pushing, screaming, and crying from her and Madi until they both finally hear the tiny baby cries they’ve waited six months for.

“It’s a girl!” Madi squeals.

She’s got the baby in her arms, and Clarke tears up at the sight of it. In an instant, Madi grew up before her eyes. She hands the baby to Clarke before cleaning her off with a towel, and Clarke smiles at the big brown eyes staring up at her, Bellamy’s eyes.

She walks Madi through clamping and cutting the cord, even though Madi is scared that cutting it will hurt the baby. Clarke manages to push the placenta out, much to Madi’s amazement. She was so worried Madi would be grossed out, or worse, terrified, but the little girl just watches the baby in amazement as it holds onto her finger.

Clarke recovers in her bed that night, the baby sound asleep in her lap after feeding. She’s shocked that everything went well, that the baby looks healthy, it’s latched with no problems, and Madi was such a trooper.

She looks over when she feels the bed dip to see Madi crawling up to her.

“Did you name her?”

“Not yet,” Clarke mutters, passing the baby to Madi. She gently rocks the baby in her arms before leaning against Clarke herself.

“I have a name,” Madi whispers, and Clarke chuckles.

“Oh do you?” She knows Madi has wanted to name the baby Octavia for months now, even if it was a boy. Clarke considered Octavian for a boy’s name, but that’s all she had come up with.

“Athena,” Madi says, giggling as the baby grabs her finger again. “We name her Athena because Bellamy named Octavia after Augustus’ sister. Athena could be similar to Augustus, maybe?”

It really isn’t, but the sentiment behind it makes Clarke love it even more. Madi has grown into her own person in just the eight months Clarke has been with her, it’s amazing.

Clarke kisses the top of her head, pulling Madi closer to her. “How do you remember that?” Clarke asks.

“I just do,” she shrugs. “So can we?”

Clarke stares at her daughter for a moment. She’s awake now, watching Madi intently with her brown eyes that have the same intensity as Bellamy’s. She wants to honor Bellamy, knowing there’s a good chance her baby will never know her father. She wishes she could share this moment with him, for him to see the miracle they created. He’s not even on the planet, maybe not even alive. Clarke feels her heart break. “Yeah,” Clarke whispers as Athena falls asleep in Madi’s arms. “We can name her Athena.”

“Bellamy, if you’re alive, I did it. I don’t know why I always question if you’re alive, it doesn’t make this much easier. But I did it Bell, I gave birth today, and she’s perfect. Yeah, she’s a girl. Madi wants to name her Athena for you, and I really couldn’t argue with her. She’s got your eyes and I wish you could see her, see both of them. I did the math today, she’ll be a little over four years old when you meet her and Madi will be eleven. If there’s any chance you hear these, and can’t answer, I’ll tell you all about her, about both of them, every day until you get here. I promise.”

#heyo its me with a fix it fic of sorts bc s7 doesnt EXIST #bellarke fic #bellamy x clarke fic #bellarke kid fic #bellarke baby #the 100 #the 100 fic #anti jason rothenberg #anti becho #anyways tada #my writing