#hes so like. attractive hngfmgkjdf

[wyllsravengard]

john in rdr1 is so special to me i feel crazuyzuzyszy

#z.gen #rdr1 john is just . so . #like hes like the best of himself embodied and hes so unbelievably duty bound to abi #he loves her so much. and he goes against everything for her and jack. the progression of stupid deadbeat #to worlds most loving and dedicated husband makes me sick #and it makes me feel so unwell that john in rdr1 isnt like arthur. #arthur is a good man. to me it makes sense that he is canonically intended to be moral and upright #mary linton even says so #but i dont think thats true for john. i dont think john is 'moral' as much as he is dutiful #nothing is his concern other than his wife and son and i loveeee that about him so much #i know a lot of people find this to be a fault and surely if you like more heroic characters arthur is much closer to it #but john is so. he is so. #theres something about the way he does anything to protect them that makes me weak #its not self serving like dutch nor is it moral like arthur #everything is for them. everything. every single thing. #he embodies in such a way that it makes me unwell. hes so morally gray but for them? he'd do anything and he does #i just . love how john is bound by duty and not morality #hes not particularly remorseful or good or upright #but he is painfully dutifully. to me because i think thats what he took from the sort of life arthur lead #even though i think arthurs goodness was truer. i think john realized that he isnt arthur #but he became the sort of man he could be and became someone who always paid his debts #and did whatever it took protect what he believes is family. whats important to him #when i think about how deeply his love is tied with loyalty and duty i just get sooo insane. like you dont even get it #and rdr1 john is soooo protective and kind to women and sooo hateful to men which helps #i think rdr2 john is so hateable but rdr1 john is like the most perfect man to ever exist and appeals to me #on a personal level more than arthur. like i just cant stop thinking about him #hes so like. attractive hngfmgkjdf #i can hardly play the game its sooo distracting to listen to him