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#here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school
opens-up-4-nobody
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8 months
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#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎
#the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover
#and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol
#i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4
#years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes.
#and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd
#but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this
#i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that
#i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck
#also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not
#give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care
#i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess
#but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol
#i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^
#the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur
#here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school
#i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional
#so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-]
#but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her
#also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im
#dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide
#unrelated
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