#her only power is that she has above average search engine skills and flexible knees

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

#their sidekick/Watson/pet hacker is a 15 year old grandkid who hangs out with gram gram on the weekends #her only power is that she has above average search engine skills and flexible knees #which is completely sufficient to round out the group's skill set #they involve her in heist style operations #on the rare occasion she gets caught housebreaking she explains her grandma locked herself out of the condo and asked for help getting in #then this sweet slightly addled old lady shows up and explains she got the address mixed up #it's so confusing when you're old & all the houses look alike and oh she's so sorry to have caused so much trouble #and meanwhile the teenager is rolling her eyes bc she's aware gram gram was a career criminal & con artist for 50 years #anyway gimme a 80-year-old con artist turned amateur sleuth who loves getting older because people are less suspicious of little old ladies #this all takes place in florida naturally