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#hell i get irritated when they talk about semi important stuff now bc it just means more negative even if it’s ’deserved’ negativity
ahalliance · 3 years
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“pride mcc doesn’t have enough rep!” am i the only one who genuinely doesn’t care
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icespyders · 7 years
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opposing lawyers au? single parent au? doctors au? thunderstorm cuddles? celebrity crush au? buddy cops au? marry someone to piss of parents au?
YELLS VERY LOUD…THANK YOU OMG THESE ARE SO FUN!!! alright these ones are gonna be under a cut bc. well. you should know me by now.
opposing lawyers au: i’m torn bc it’d be equally fun to have, like, non-romantic rivals in these roles and the entire fic is just them talking shit (i’m not a big rarepair person so that definitely limits me in au plotting, lmao, i just dig weird friendships so much more than actual proper rarepairs!!) and also pitting an otp against each other and having belligerent sexual tension that will get the characters lectured by their respective HR departments. or! they’re competing within the same firm and both trying to get ahead so it’s more of an office drama, which would lead to a funny ensemble cast, which is always a win in my book
oh dude bokuaka could be fun for this, bc akaashi is a smartass by-the-book kinda guy who looks down on bokuto’s weirder strategies, but akaashi keeps underestimating how clever bokuto is and it infuriates him, and also kinda turns him on, and that infuriates him even further. or daisuga, too, i like the idea of them being rivals bc i have a funny feeling if they weren’t on the same team they’d just push each other’s buttons - daichi holds grudges over petty bullshit (sawamura “death to everyone who’s ever played basketball bc i’ve fought with their captain” daIchi tbh) and it’d just be too easy to irritate him for suga to resist doing it all the time.
if i get into non-romances pissing each other off in professional settings i’ll be here all night so i’ll spare you, but just know there are too many annoyingly-clever strategists in haikyuu who’d square off against each other excellently and it’s great
single parent au: true story, my sister and i have this very elaborate future domestic au about all our ships having kids, so, like, i love kid fics but having one of my own has ruined everyone else’s for me whoops. i can’t read anyone else’s bc i miss the babies i invented. buries face in hands. (but if you want to hear about that i have like a 30-page notes document so i’m happy to tell you about it)
aside from that i’ve vaguely plotted out a specific single parent au, i think (my sister and i are au machines, it’s a problem). we have one where daichi and suga hook up but then suga is daichi’s kid’s kindergarten teacher so the parent-teacher conference gets Real Awkward Real Fast. both of them try very hard to act professional and not ask “so like…we still on for a second date or…uh…”
doctors au: my immediate impulse when i saw this is to only make one of the characters a medical doctor and the other’s like. i don’t know a renowed geologist or smth. full on “dammit i’m a doctor, not a DOCTOR.” somehow they have wacky adventures. my brain wants me to x-files this and turn it into cryptid hunting shenanigans bc i shouldn’t be left to make aus past midnight. this is absolutely not what you meant when you asked me this, anon, but i don’t think i’m capable of writing a medical drama? i don’t watch that many, i lack a frame of reference. but you know what i don’t lack a frame of reference for. GHOST HUNTING. also MOTHMAN. catch me turning your prompt into gay “ghost adventures” somehow??
i have no idea what i’d write for this, i don’t think anyone wants me writing a doctors au. i think the closest i’d get is a future fic abt kyoutani being a veterinarian and he takes care of yahaba’s really fat cat and criticizes how fat it is and somehow they date. sorry omg this is not my best work, au-wise
thunderstorm cuddles: THIS IS A GOOD VIBE TOO…listen in my opinion all my ships should be cuddling all the time, or else what is the point. i really need to learn how to write short fluffy ficlets, i always end up turning everything i write into an absurdly long oneshot but writing ficlets sounds nice. 
anyway! this is a lovely moment of vulnerability to work with; if you run with a childhood friends ship for this, it could demonstrate how well the two characters know each other, that they’re aware of the need for thunderstorm cuddles and happy to provide it. however, it’s also intriguing as a moment to allow greater understanding and closeness in a relationship that isn’t as familiar. it demonstrates one party’s willingness to let the other see them in an unflattering state and let themselves be comforted. man i could do this for any ship, i really adore finding these little, understated moments of love and letting them cement a relationship, and also i’m weak to mild hurt/comfort where nobody is really hurt, haha. i would write asanoya for this, they’re especially good for cuddling, i feel. they’re both afraid of storms but refuse to admit it to save face in front of each other but they eventually both cave and learn, oh hey, we’re both scared of storms, this works, and then cuddle under a big quilt and everyone is happy
celebrity crush au: i would love to get “celebrity crush” down to absolute minimum level, like, oh god, since when do i go to college with that one hot youtuber who i’ve watched for years, or, oh no, i TOTALLY thirst-follow that guy on instagram, i’ve watched videos of him bench-pressing stuff WAY TOO MUCH, or, fuck me it’s the bassist from that band that plays in the campus bar, etc etc. i think that’d be funny bc it’s not even like you’re harboring a crush on a movie star like a normal person and it’s even harder to approach a youtube crush by explaining “hey so you’re famous, a bit, to me at least, i’m sorry, i love your work, i promise i’m not creepy.” if i was writing this, circumstances would definitely force the characters together (class group project! train your new co-worker, who you’ll spend hours alone with henceforth! we’re in the same club, time for icebreakers!) and the character with the crush would either awkwardly hide it or awkwardly blurt it out, depending.
i actually do have a vaguely-arced au about characters in bands that play in the campus bar attempting to woo various bar patrons; this kagehina i wrote is in that universe and i’ve just never sat down to write the whole au, and that’s an ensemble piece so there’s a bunch of ships. i dig iwaoi for the instagram thirst-follow concept, or bokuaka. that thirst is real. i’m also getting attached to the idea of the celebrity crush being a new co-worker, like, the two characters work in the school bookstore and spend many hours alone with no one but books for company. i’d write a kuroken for that. kenma didn’t expect that cool youtuber to be such a nerd in real life. also he’s pretty sure internet people aren’t supposed to be hot in real life, what the fuck, this isn’t even FAIR. so he’s all brisk with kuroo to keep his distance bc he feels so awkward and kuroo doesn’t get what he did wrong. (answer: existing and being cute was his mistake)
buddy cops au: COOL! this is another one where i’d love a weird friendship over an otp, just for shenanigans’ sake. if i was writing this it’d be less law & order and more brooklyn 99 so comedy is key. i’m thinking like. kenma and lev, worst partners ever, who solve all their cases against all odds. suga and kageyama would be a fun working dynamic too, or any combo of competitive setters, although i think with many other setters there’d be more attempting to outdo each other. like partnering shirabu and semi would be a mess of passive-aggressive sniping amidst their detective work. oikawa and ushijima where they both think they’re the good cop but they’re actually both the bad cop and oikawa thinks ushijima isn’t human bc he never drinks coffee bc he says he doesn’t “need it” like what the hell, how does he even stay awake on shift, it’s unnatural.
and on a not-haikyuu note, i definitely had a fucking komahina buddy cop au at some point in the distant past, and i’ve always lowkey wanted to write a naegiri noir mystery where kirigiri is the mysterious detective and naegi is the inquisitive reporter tagging along and helping her with a case. dangan lends itself to shit like that since it’s already about investigating murders
marry someone to piss off parents au: oh boy would i love to combine this with a royalty au. oh BOY would i love to combine this with a royalty au!! some upstart crown prince decides to marry below their station just to stick it to The Man and falling in love somewhere along the way, bc marriage is a commitment and it takes effort and you can’t just do it for no reason, it’s not a means to an end. i just find it mildly hard to believe anyone in haikyuu is offensive enough to someone’s parent to pull this off, like, even the ones that look skeevy are actually honor roll students, you just can’t accomplish this in canonverse.
back to the royalty au, make it even better: the protag chases after the crown prince of the rival kingdom bc they’re sick of the constant fighting and border disputes and assorted nonsense, and also it’ll make their parents SO MAD. like romeo and juliet but nobody dies, they just fall in love and dare somebody to do something about it. i’d do kagehina for this, it’s hinata’s idea. “what if i just. married into their family? then we’d share everything, right? right?” he pipes up at a lame-ass strategy meeting talking about import taxes on the rivals, he’d rather be going on adventures but noooo he has to sit at a meeting, so he decides to put his foot down. and then he has to journey off to kageyama’s kingdom and somehow win his hand. that sounds fun as hell.
if i did make this canonverse, i feel like one character is essentially fake-dating the other to make the parents mad, like, they have an arrangement, the fake beau is getting free dinner out of it, but they end up charming the protag’s parents and instead of pissing them off the visit smooths things over and the protag character is really irritated but also kinda falling for the fake beau what the hell?? it all just completely backfires. give me ennotana for this. ennoshita hires the toughest-looking dude he knows to annoy his parents but his parents think tanaka’s a good influence on him, somehow. goddammit how dare he be so charming. this is nonsense.
thank you so much for letting me ramble incoherently, it’s 1:30 AM and this ain’t my best work but i had some giggles writing this so i hope you have some giggles reading it!!! :’)
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