#helish drabble

[sohelish]

'But if you don't, how will we ever solve the case?' She stared doe-eyed, mouth slightly agape. There was a strong suggestive intensity about that gaze she could pull off so easily.

The woman would look into another person's very being as if pleading: I need you to do it for me, it is only you that I need.

And to her surprise, this time she felt... nauseous. A good kind of nauseous that told her that she wasn't an entirely soulless person. It wasn't remorse that she experienced. And yet she received no pleasure from manipulating someone she considered a partner. They were supposed to trust each other, fulfil each other's requests. Or at least show the courtesy of considering them. Unfortunately, the present company wasn't in a receptive state of mind, and, alas, work had to be done. The clock was ticking and lives were at stake.

#I was sketching out one story but ofc got distracted into another and #I'm not going to ignore where my mind is going. no bad ideas in this house xD #also this gave me many many feels I had to share it here :3 #helish drabble

[sohelish]

A study in kissing.

One.

Hel is sitting at the table, head propped against her arm as she studies the charts for the sector. Somehow, on top of all the things she normally does, the human is trusted with planning the most optimal route, and she oddly finds it enjoyable. Being able to align as many promising destinations as possible in one go so that they visit the most places and accomplish the most tasks is exhilarating. Yet the woman is also tired. Thus, her focus is half-drifting. That is why she doesn’t notice when he walks in, sits beside her and starts talking, asking questions about the ongoing assignment. He tries to get her attention again. And again, frustrated that she doesn’t respond, and starts leaning in, hoping to find answers over her shoulder. What he discovers instead is her face, however. Adask is forced to admit the simple fact that he cannot merely pull away now. Since he is close to her ear, he tries her name again, this time quieter, tone - altered. And, ultimately, react she does for his breath tingles against her neck. She finally notices, turning slightly. Abruptly. The realisation that he is too close for comfort hits. This causes her to stare at him rather coldly. Also results in some additional frowning for good measure. He determines to linger further. Meanwhile, she is not moving in return, inspecting and waiting. He definitely pushes for a kiss. And she dodges at the last moment. And gets up with surprising grace, not forgetting to grab the charts. Watching as he almost falls over, unable to predict her action. There is no pleasure in his dismay, however, so she decides to leave hastily, recognising as she departs the familiar thud of his forehead landing against the table surface.

Two.

Their laughter is becoming obnoxiously loud, even for a crowded transport hub bar, as Helena is doing her best to pronounce the alien girl’s name. It doesn’t resemble at all any word she knows - a powerfully distinct mixture of sounds, most of which are hard to emulate. And she does have a talent for imitating. But Hel doesn’t give up - for each attempt, she is compensated with cackling very peculiar and mesmerising. Her company’s laughter vaguely resembles the honking of Terran geese every now and then, and the human woman finds that incredibly alluring and intriguing. What other sorts of noises is this one capable of? Helena’s endeavours and mimicking the other’s name lead to miscellaneous fun discussions and comical misunderstandings that provide amusement. Eventually, it takes both of them to another place entirely after the gleeful meeting of eyes ( multiple in the case of the alien girl ) and a series of consenting nods. There, Hel discovers another sort of pleasure in the movement of her lips against that of her current company. It’s not about the feeling of skin on skin for her, but more of the art. The skill of kissing. The mechanical movement. When she takes on the challenge of figuring out what will bring the most satisfaction to the other. Setting a clear goal of eliciting a wide spectrum of entertaining sounds while narrowly avoiding the damage sharp alien teeth could cause to her own tissue. Somewhere among the myriad of expertly planted kisses, she finally whispers her name correctly. And is very much rewarded for this.

Three.

They end up alone together, again, when everybody else goes planetside to engage in the simple joys of shopping. It has never brought Hel any particular satisfaction unless there was a set goal. If she were to need to purchase a utility, she would have gone. Exploring a busy market could’ve brought some benefits, but Helena figured it would tire her out more. Also, she has an assortment of reading material that has piled up. So does Vur, and they find themselves engaging in the activity side by side. After a while, however, she notices something has changed. Usually, Vur would sit very still without moving. But she realises, in retrospect, that he has shifted. And is staring at her methodically, blinking with both sets of his eyelids. Flop-flop. As soon as she finishes the logical section, Hel grants him the attention he apparently seeks, wondering how long he’d been waiting for her so patiently. She utters a standard question: what is the matter? And he, in return, inquires about the human kissing practices. She is slightly startled since she’s assured he’d been in extensive communication with her kind before and must have asked around. She argues she’s not the best person for the request due to her specific views and experiences, and he makes a good point that, for him, there lies her definite value. She doesn’t protest too hard before she begins sharing her insights. At a point during the conversation, she is aware of his eyes shifting to her mouth pointedly and then back to meet her gaze. It happens a few times at precise intervals. She stops talking and tilts her head at him in sheer amusement. He asks if they could practice, and she agrees immediately. All in all, it is time well spent in a session that grants more fun than expected. They share techniques and stories, appreciating interesting discoveries pertaining to similarities in their kissing interactions. Hel is surprised to learn that his species mostly use their tongues, and that’s it, even though they do have lips. One would think that his version of kissing would be gross, and, in a way, it is, but it’s still the entertaining type somehow. When everyone returns and the two pull apart, she realises that she is actually very grateful. Not only due to the knowledge she acquired but simply because Vur did something nobody ever did: he thought to ask her.

#I've been meaning to write this for a while)) #been sketching it here and there. #under the cut because kinda su.ggestive #I guess???)) #the first one was a pain to write and it is a pain to read too ngl. #helish drabble

[sohelish]

In a lone shuttle, Hel was tapping away on the PADD, chin in hand, dull eyes lifting every now and then to stare into the vast emptiness of space.

The ion storm was approaching, as indicated by the multitude of sensors. But the woman wasn't even paying attention at this point. She was technically far enough not to get hit by it. Technically. But she was aware of how the proportions were frequently underestimated.

Hah. And people say size doesn't matter. It does.

Still, the emergency shutdown protocols, along with the equipment that didn't depend on electricity, should have carried her through the most precarious situation. Assumably.

It was Oolg who got it worse. And when she was saying her goodbyes to the man, she was realistically certain that he wouldn't be returning. With his ion pods and untested ground-breaking tech, he would be trying to outrun the storm to get at least some data on it. The trick? Fifteen minutes tops were what he'd get. And there was no guarantee that anything useful would come of it. Or that the general set-up would deliver results. The one where Oolg was supposed to transfer the data to Hel if he were to get anything.

A fool's errand even by her abstract thinking standards. A damned reckless waste of a good specialist, too, for the sentient being as a resource, in her opinion, was the most precious one. But Admiral Vvin was the chief scientist, he knew better, and she lost that argument. So there she was - tap-tap, tapping. Risking her life and almost definitely sacrificing Oolg in the process.

Why are scientists such assholes? What's the correlation? And should she be asking herself this if she chose to be an asshole but forwent the scientific route? After all, the answers will likely savour strongly of bitterness.

Tap-tap.

#I needed to write something... anything xD #this thought crossed my mind))) #brain: empty. #only io.n storms and my love for them as a plot device)) #helish drabble #these bosses aren't exactly solid. #the final fun-tier. trеkverse

[sohelish]

for the send a word meme: friendship

@becomingsea + meme

'Nomen!'

'Gharr!'

An extremely loud exchange like that had to attract Helena's attention.

The transportation hub was buzzing with a myriad of feelings. Sadness due to people leaving, the joy of those greeting their loved ones, and naturally, the weariness of the individuals who travelled for business purposes and were forced to navigate between the other two groups.

Proudly associated with the latter, Hel found herself caught in a moment when she had nothing else to do and could afford to indulge in people-watching. Perhaps it was also possible to let go a little and allow the mind to wander, for hers revelled in doing just that.

She watched closely as the two men went on with their obnoxiously loud display. As if their deliberation lay specifically in presenting to the entire world: look at us, we are so close, we are friends! They even went for that manlier version of a hug, grasping at each other's forearms firmly. And shaking, shaking. The very sight made her slightly nauseous and mildly uncomfortable even though she wasn't the one caged in someone's embrace.

The woman averted her gaze and inevitably drifted towards considering the concept familiar to the entire world and yet very distant to her own understanding. In all her years of observing, learning and trying ( oh yes, she did try ), Hel couldn't grasp the inner workings of a friendship. To her, it was an unstable construct. She could understand a business-like relationship based on mutual benefits and cooperation. When it came to friendship, a person, she had arrived at a conclusion, was to engage in a deal most unclear. Based on the notion that friends provide anything automatically if that much is implied, not even distinctly stated. And said person also had to be initially prepared to give a little more than they could afford - as a sign of trust. The stakes were high, the risks, too. And what did one get from the deal? A companionship negligibly more intimate than that offered through an alliance or a partnership? A deeper connection? But was it even worth it, that depth? Not to her, definitely, since she wasn't prepared to give up herself in exchange for another person's constant presence. If anything, she preferred to see her associates in controlled doses.

What bothered her most personally, however, were the boundaries. For as soon as somebody started using the word friend, they were about to make unreasonable, selfish demands, ultimately falling into disregard for the point of view of the other. And eventually, the elastic band of the boundary would snap. Bits of it flying off and wounding everyone in the process, causing small tactical cracks which would be so hard to locate and deal with, complicating the healing.

Hel pulled herself back to reality, too lost in thought for her own liking again. To anchor, she used the pair who were still talking very cheerfully, fixating once more on their eye-catching shamelessness.

And that was when the development occurred. A woman entered the picture, greeted with delight and a warm hug by the first man whose grip then never left her. Meanwhile, Helena saw the undeniably recognisable jolt of pain in the other friend's eyes. Oh, there we go.

She didn't stay much longer to discover a more particular reason for the dismay: jealousy or disapproval, who wanted whom more. It didn't matter. Her transport was to depart, and thus she moved away, quite satisfied with her brief reverie and the small amount of data fed to her confirmation bias. Hel was very aware she was engaging in it. And yet she was unable not to relish in its sensation.

#becomingsea #ok so I planned it to be more of a short hc thing meme #but you went straight for the feels and I thank you for that xD #I may have had too much fun writing this tbh) #long post for ts #helish drabble

[sohelish]

A pair of fit Andorian arms threw her onto the pillows and pinned her down for the moment. So it was enough to stop any impish and sensual activity that Helena had initiated prior, having had the nerve to play with the lady's antennas in a most risqué manner. The move was not taken as offensive, however. And the women boomed with their cheerful and hearty laughs.

Dilia was smaller compared to your average Andorian, which didn't stop her from towering over Helena, who looked downright fragile next to her. The only threatening thing about her seemed to be the overwhelming amount of blonde hair atop her head. That's how Dilia saw the situation anyway. She preferred it. Having spent quite some time sharing potentially sensitive information with the human, she wanted to believe that the little creature before her wouldn't have anything sinister to do with the offered data. Her appearance didn't exactly scream "spy." Definitely not in the way Dilia was accustomed to.

Yet she couldn't help but gulp whenever there was a glimpse of mischievous light in Helena's eyes. Then, she talked herself into a state of denial anyway.

Hel Redford was just a fun acquaintance, a one-night stand of convenience, merely pretending to be interested in her work: transporter maintenance and logistics coordination. Nor did her questions relate to Dilia being the youngest daughter of Colonel Th'kaari, a semi-prominent figure in the Diplomatic Corps. Not even her father took Dilia and her choice of profession seriously, often joking at her expense during family dinners. Why would someone else do that under these circumstances?

But here. Helena's eyes twinkled again, and Dilia rolled away, nesting her face into the mess of pillows and blankets with a dramatic huff. The blonde followed her affected motions and smiled. The Andorian's aggressive embarrassment caused her to miss a very rare and warm gesture directed her way.

Meanwhile, it was something of significance. This affair became one of those occasions when Hel was bothered by the relative simplicity and straightforwardness of her existence. During her adventures, she got to meet remarkable, intriguing people. Take Dilia, for example. She could listen to her talk about the problem-solving feats and challenges of interstellar logistics for hours and hours on end, in the bedroom and outside of it. However, her mission demanded that she take as much as possible from this encounter only to never contact or see Dilia again. Such a shame it is, she thought and inhaled deeply, fully prepared to savour the last passionate moments they could afford to experience. The human woman let herself feel sad and hopeful while staring at the ceiling. But soon, she started counting the dots in the poly-foam coverage. It allowed her to detach and go back to her seductive interrogation quicker.

'So.' She shifted to lie on her side and scooted closer to the alien girl. 'Where were we?' Playfully, she ran her finger across the blue skin. 'You were telling me about the shuttle schedule discrepancies? The frequency of transporter overloads during— packed diplomatic events?'

#helish drabble #wrote this during my treadmill workout so yup) #present tense bothered me #so I re-wrote in past tense... there's something about it that feels better idk

[sohelish]

She didn't have a place among the sceptics and the practicals, because she strived to keep an open mind and had been too often a subject of situations where ones senses could not be trusted, and an outlook unhindered by rules was needed. Among the dreamers, she had no friends either. For they required detachment and passive disconnection that Helena considered to be counterproductive. She struggled to rein in her own mind and spirit in exchange for being an active part of something unknown and greater. An avid over-thinker, she forced herself to act instead, going somewhat against her nature, yet giving it direction. Which caused those who should be her equals, to see her as erratic. If you are chill, then what's with all the unnecessary action? If you are analytical, then why the excessive philosophy?

Was she bothered at first? Yes, when she was younger. Soon, though, she learned a simple truth. You can't please anyone even if you did your best. One way or another, a person will stumble upon a piece of you that they will dislike and instantly work to change. That, she took as a cue to leave, as she became not a fellow being, but a project and very much so did not intend to give the other the satisfaction of being such.

#now I realise as I write this that Hel and I would have an interesting debate over the Go.d or aliens existing... #I just typed it up on my phone. I will check and edit later :) #helish drabble #helish headcanon

[sohelish]

Untitled

Another philosophical discussion passed in a glimpse, touching various topics while heating up here and there. Even Helena had to admit that it was tough to keep calm. Humans, she got used to navigating as it was a matter of survival since the early days. However, one could wound her pride and cause her blood to boil. Aliens were surprisingly worse when it came to discussions of a personal nature. One would assume they'd be more courteous and accepting of differences since it was on the nose - comparing humanoids to each other, especially in terms of social norms, was such a wasteful endeavour. Yet, some people were just intrusive, inquisitive and pried into the area of undeniably private. But Helena was always so "easygoing" and open-minded. Why wouldn't she share? What started as a series of mild inquiries grew into a drilling interrogation, trespassing on dangerous topics: connection, marriage… love.

At first, she had kept her cool, operating under the assumption that she wasn't being judged. Merely prodded for a better understanding of the nuisances. But as the conversation grew longer and her companion refused to stray from the original line of questioning, she started to suspect particular implications. Then, she did the unthinkable. She stated that she would, in fact, never get married. In her opinion, she committed a type of crime and uttered a lie, too definite at that. Actually, she didn't exclude the possibility of needing to acquire a spouse for whatever reason. Her little experiment revealed the truth: a cold, condescending glare, mouth tensing and forming a thin line. Traces of anger in the clenched jaw of her companion were a prelude to a lecture of a distinct length. A long and infuriating course on the responsibility she held towards humanity, the galaxy itself. The importance of social and communal, and the greatness of the term she oh-so-dreaded. Love.

Just like that, the dialogue was over, and it became a one-person show Hel didn't ask for. Although to be fair, she did suffer a tiny pang of regret at the provocation. She didn't even mean those words, after all. And she got a reaction, alright. The rest of the evening turned sour as the woman struggled to counter the arguments with utmost politeness and tact, challenging herself not to raise her voice over a certain level octave. Strangely, the other person, usually calm and collected, wasn't as restrained. Had the nerve to sound openly bitter and condescending. As if she was a foolish child putting the universe at risk with her stance. As if she wasn't applying herself in a proper manner.

The woman couldn't remember when she was this exhausted last. And the only thing that stopped the torture was a promise to consider the other's point of view. That, and also, she was quick. Jumped out of the chair and ran with a spring in her step as soon as she saw an opening. She was as diplomatic as she could've been in not offending her company. She was sure this discrepancy would be forgiven.

Hours later, in her private room, Hel couldn't help but take up meditating yet again. More often than not, she lacked the necessary time or was too tired and mistakenly fell asleep, succumbing to a different type of relaxation. But sleep rarely brought her peace of mind, and all be damned, she needed it. Deeply affected by the point of view of the other person, she struggled to reflect on everything that happened. She would expect all she'd heard from a fellow human, not from an alien. The sudden pain of misunderstanding, the harsh hit to her pride, the failure to accept her life choices…

'I define what my love is.' She muttered a mantra, refusing to give up. 'I define what my love is. It's not the same for everyone.' Sadly, she almost began to like the person who argued with her that day. That was why it hurt so much more.

#I wanted to title this: what is love... bby don hurt meeeh #but let's be real this is actually sad. I'd be committing a felony xD #it's actually inspired by an aro post I've seen. I didn't give it much attention. #but today it hit hard)) the thing Hel says was basically the main idea of that post #helish drabble

[sohelish]

Nightmares differ, night to night. There is death. Then there is betrayal. Escalating pain without any relief of the latter... 

If Helena was the sole subject suffering from the mentioned - it would have been simpler. She would have had control. Regained it, at least. Of course, her worst fears revolve around not having or giving it up.

This time it's particularly freaky since it involves Tammy. She who never wanted more engagement than to spend a wild night together. It's a vivid memory - the negotiation, the promise to not overstep boundaries, and she didn't.

What transpires in a dream is not what Hel remembers by all means. Here, Tammy never leaves. She clings and follows. Follows her around everywhere. Each time Helena tries to covert and escape, she hears a soft but demanding: where are you going?

The worst of it is that Hel can't ask her to leave. Her replies are sluggish and don't fit into the fabric of the experienced reality as is. They lack the precision or the clever duality. Tammy interprets her words as she wants and overstays her welcome. She's everywhere, behind her, merging with her back. Hugging and tightening the grip, not letting go. Before Hel knows it, she's crawling up the mountain, forced to carry the other woman.

She does her best. Does not complain because that's not who she is. Even if she's lost her voice, she stays true to herself. Yet Helena is also painfully aware that she can't win in this scenario.

Naturally, they both tumble down, and suddenly the mountain is on the edge of a dark abyss.

She awakes with a scream.

#helish drabble #I've been dying to write a short smth for some time now. #I've been having nightmares an was like ooo what if I wrote about helena's thooo #I mean it's fair? I suffer from nightmares. gotta look into hers right?)))) #I wrote this on mobile pls be nice to me xD #actually inspired by that one qu.iz I was checking out and a similar nightmare was listed #hel was like: this!

[sohelish]

@jurati asked: What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? 

shklfjglfjkdghd thank you for asking but gosh gosh!! oooof this one... you chose the question that’s about to call me out a lil xD

you'd think that there would be a lot of stuff to choose from and relate to? with all the lore dump I have lying around. but no, there’s not much. and the next part may come off as sad but at the same time I did write it in my angsty teen years so here goes. if there's anyone I relate to, it's Helena's deceased girlfriend Isabelle)) that's from the main verse.

on a slightly more cheerful note? it's the food probably. Hel loves food and so do I. only for her it stems from the fact that her parents didn't bother to feed her properly. I just love food *shrug* we’re... both observant but is it relatable? a lot of people observe, they just don’t use what they see. she is so much more relatable to my husband, like you wouldn’t believe xD and what’s interesting to me? more often than not I relate to the other person Hel is in communication with: the other muse or the npc.

What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

that would be Hel accepting her mother for who she was/forgiving her. that sort of applies to all the verses/is out of verses? she accepted her dad way earlier and quicker. and all these years of me writing her she held resentment towards her mom. but lately? in my head? she was like: “we were victims of consequence and grand misunderstanding, my mother and I.” and to me personally that is huuuge.

author's note: in the main verse her mom tried to kill Hel thinking she was this unnatural demon spawn that will destroy the world. in her trek verse... yeee Oksana did still ask herself on occasion if Hel was a demon xD tried to push religion on her so hard...

Hel used to resent her deeply and thought they were never alike. this has changed)) not that she forgot or will deny the mistreatment) but she will laugh at it now.

#jurati #I wish I was more like Hel sometimes and maybe I have it in me to be. #but the way she processes/perceives things automatically colours everything different. #helish headcanon #hjshkfkjhsf thank you #and about her mom... I had this drabble in mind that I wanted to write... for like months... #but it's sooooo sad. idk what state of mind I have to be in to write it. and not sure anyone should like... read it... it's sad.

[sohelish]

that interesting thought I return to sometimes. with helena looking for patterns and being interested in all things shady and criminal... imagine her finding a crime pattern, and it becomes obvious that something's about to happen/a crime is about to be committed

does she do anything about it? it depends. but I often see her merely watching. she would for real not interfere in major events if she could, but didn't "see the purpose" of it. ( my old promo used to have a quote from a drabble about it.) on the other hand, if she rationalises that something is her business - try to stop her from interfering :)

#I even wrote a drabble somewhere where she is watching a bad thing happen and... #does nothing bc she didn't rationalise that it's her business)) #helish headcanon

[sohelish]

I was shuffling trekverse things in my head like lil headcanons cause I owe stuff and...

and an npc in my head was like: hel redford? not harry redford's daughter are you? the one who optimised the supplementary plasma convergence engine 11d? ( I don't even kno what that is tbh just made it up on the spot )

hel goes: yeah. the very same.

and the guy's like: wow I admire your dad! he really did us all a favour making a better version of that engine

hel: *laughing* oh yeah. I was there. I saw him destroy 265 perfectly good engines until he found what to repair!

the guy like, offended slightly: that's how the creative process goes tho?

hel, shakes head, still laughing: no, you don't get it. he didn't plan on doing that. not until after mom suggested he spend more time with my brother and I. and he said he was busy. then realised she'll check and that he really wasn't. so he pitched that engine project so he didn't have to hang out with us.

guy: o_o

hel, clearly admiring her dad: and it worked! haven't seen the man for months! oh, he was brilliant. but not in the way you expected, huh? I remember thinking to myself: I'll definitely steal this signature trick for future use

#helish headcanon #I guess?? #this could've been a drabble but I haven't written one in ages. #maybe I will))) #idk it's both sad and highly amusing. #I sorta love how hel perceives her dad: he was a bastard and an asshole. *proudly* and I respect that. and I turned out the same.

[sohelish]

tw for panic and heights

She could not believe that it was happening. She had had so much progress over the years in keeping her fear of heights under control that each time it slipped, Hel ended up surprised. What a silly mistake to make since not all the problems you face can be dealt with for good. Who knows when you might run into something you'd have to battle for your entire life.

Wishful thinking is dangerous, oh so dangerous.

Each time she climbed up to a certain level, Helena had to ask herself: will my head start spinning this time? Will I feel a sudden wave of fear wash over me? And it is icy cold and a vicious surge. It covers you at the wrong moment - and you are done, say your final goodbye.

Come on, move, move.

It happened. That was just the exact issue at the moment.

Every now and then, Hel would partake in climbing in order to monitor her current situation. So much effort put into fighting off the fits couldn't go unnoticed over the course of life. And yet, the failures stood out sore and loud.

Come on, you sad little... move your hand!

She challenged herself, but there was no use, it seemed. The woman froze completely and so close to the top as well. She could sense the dizziness threatening to overwhelm her. Her breathing was hectic. The certainty on the inside she usually possessed went missing. Panic was rising, and she wanted to scream. Why, why was it a thing? What was causing it? Which height triggered this, and what were the conditions?

Phobia is an “irrational” fear. Get a grip. Oh, wait, hahah.

Hel let out a wry chuckle, glaring at her clenched fingers. Once again, she put mental effort into commanding herself to proceed with no result on that front.

Fine then. Fall.

Anything was better than being frozen in place, better than stagnation.

Fall. Relax those fingers.

Being stuck was the worst and not allowed, any action was preferable to inaction.

Let go.

Her stomach turned at the thought of it. Before she even released the hold.

See. Falling isn't as scary as the idea of it.

And then she went flying towards the ground. Until next time.

#instead of writing replies I remembered Hel's old phobia and was like... #welp. at first I thought of her trek verse and asked myself how she battled it there so holo-climbing to combat the fear it was #but it turned out vague enough and also yup why not keep the idea that it might attack her at any moment. #helish drabble #anyway. wrote a drabble instead of doing replies. sorry))

[sohelish]

The Aktau incident

'You test?' The universal translator wasn't working well, but it functioned enough to establish communication. The transaction was simple anyway. It didn't require an elaborate negotiation. No need to over-think it. Pfft, sure. The latter wasn't Helena's strong suit.

'Test it. Me?' On the one hand, it seemed like a decent idea. Why buy something that wasn't working? There was always a risk of that happening, of course. But here, she'd been provided with an opportunity to negate that risk. On the other hand...

The woman stared at the alien device with unveiled suspicion. Ironically, it didn't look unworldly at all. If anything, it reminded Hel of one of those aesthetically pleasing neo-fountains. A person was meant to admire them and relax, studying the intricately carved details and listening to the sounds of running water.

This thing bore a striking resemblance, and the less threatening it appeared, the more Hel's scepticism grew. She weighed all the pros and cons. Once, twice.

'Alright.' Her Bosses knew where she was. The deal was relatively open and transparent. The Lvessians seemed to be a very peaceful people. Nothing about them suggested they'd turn on her out of the blue. If they did, there were contingency plans.

Still, Hel was quite nervous. And extremely thrilled.

'What do I do?' She asked, watching the Lvessian merchant approach the device. He gently pushed a component that was prodding out - a metronome? The ticking that followed was infernal. 'Should we maybe---'

That sound was so disturbing. It felt like it was drilling into her skull. Hel began to utter something in protest but couldn't hear herself speak. Was she even opening her mouth? Could she move?

The woman blinked - ah! That she could feel herself do. She blinked again and again rapidly.

Until she found herself staring at the monitors all of a sudden. They gave off the impression of being both familiar and very distant at the same time. The latter - literally, too. Because Hel was very aware of how considerably she had to lift her head to see the upper readings.

'Снова на мониторы поглядываешь, эх, Хэлька. Мама твоя будет недовольна. Разве она тебе не сказала идти читать ту книженцию?'

Hel slowly turned her gaze towards the voice.

'I won't be reading that. You know it.'

'I know, that's why I brought you this.'

The man kneeled down beside the young girl and handed her a paper book. Really? That got her full attention. The piece looked old and worn. Would she dare touch it at the risk of it falling apart? She did reach out, examining the title.

'История свободы мысли.' Helena hadn't read this one, but she could tell what it might be about. The notion forced a sinister chuckle out of her. 'Mom's going to freak, дядь Кость.'

'Yes, well,' the man patted little Helly on the head. 'That's just her way. Not much we can do about it. Now go, out of the grown-ups' way. I've got work to do.'

With that, he walked off, leaving the girl alone with the book she'd been clutching, staring at it as if it was the most precious thing.

And yet.

Hel's head snapped, her eyes fixed sharply in the direction of his departure. That wasn't the way to the science lab. Or the bio lab, nor was it the optimal route to the engineering. Docking bays, cargo holds - more likely. What business could uncle Kostya possibly have there? Hel felt herself blinking again. Finally, it hit her - the realisation that the device was working as intended. Interesting.

The next few moments playing in her mind were about her following uncle Kostya's movements whenever he was doing something she considered strange. 

One such case stood out. The girl made her way through the crowd and concealed herself in the side corridor, peeking out. She was surprised to witness Konstantin Zhdanov talking to Richard Redford, her father's brother. Why would uncle Rick even come to Aktau-5? He was such a busy man.

'Is everything ready?'

'Mhm.'

'Are you sure? This is important.'

'Yes-yes. It's done. But I don't understand, Rick. Why would you want to store something like that here? We're not exactly the proper facility.'

'It's only temporary. I don't have another choice, and I can always count on you.'

That was when a loud stomping interrupted Helena's focus. She could feel a pair of arms wrap around her.

'Helly, what are you doing here!?'

Damn it. Жэка... зараза.

'Dude, come on. I wanna show you the thing. Come on!'

Before she could process what was happening, Hel felt herself being pulled and dragged off by her brother Eugene. He took her down the same corridor Konstantin and Richard were currently using for their private meeting.

'Hey, uncle Kostya! Hey, uncle Rick!'

He remained forever oblivious to what was going on. Helena, however, felt Richard Redford's heavy questioning gaze fixed on her.

When she sensed herself blink next, the woman knew what was coming. By then, she'd settled in, watching it all like a movie.

Helly Redford was running, running for her life... not really. No. Her mother was chasing her, letting out an occasional cry. The child had yet again managed to upset her to an extent and didn't want to deal with Oksana, so she rushed off, hoping to hide.

There had to be a vent somewhere - an emergency maintenance corridor that led to another part of the station. Hel's dad left the schematics lying around, and she took the chance to study them, thinking it could come in handy one day. Aha!

She ducked to the side and unsealed the panel. How fortunate it was that it had to remain open at all times in case of trouble. How difficult it was, though, to move the grate. She didn't expect it to be so heavy. Hurt her shoulder doing it.

However, she was determined. And so the girl hopped inside and started crawling. Behind, she heard her mother's voice echo: да, что ж это за ребенок такой, а!?

Of course, she read the schematic wrong. Or, perhaps, she took a wrong turn somewhere along the way?

When Hel finally made it out, not only was she totally whacked and exhausted, she also ended up in the wrong section entirely. The vent was far above the ground, so when she kicked out the grate and jumped down, she miscalculated and fell roughly on her side. The pain was hot and blunt. She was generally disoriented.

It took her a while to adjust her eyes and see that she'd landed in one of the cargo bays. Damn it. An odd one at that. Weren't these supposed to be filled to the brim? The area was relatively empty, and there was something different as well. The humidity was all off. The environmental control settings must have been turned to extremely dry.

Hel made an effort to get up, fighting through the pain and fatigue. Her slightly worn will was overpowered by sudden curiosity: why did so many things in the bay appear abnormal?

More importantly, what was it about the seemingly alien tube that resembled a high-tech sarcophagus? To anyone who lived on the station, it would be obvious enough. The object didn't belong.

Carefully she approached it, scrutinising. Everything was forgotten: the aching, the misfortunes, all were replaced by a rush of excitement. That was what the archaeologists from the stories must have felt when they came across a mystery that could make or break their career.

Her ecstatic state was short-lived, however. The secrecy of a concealed alien object was tainted by the quick assessment of the screens.

By no means was Helena an expert in any manner. But she had spent enough time trying to understand the numbers and readings on the monitors scattered around Aktau-5. The girl did it in a misguided attempt of a regular child - striving to grow up a bit quicker.

Not that she needed to know a lot to figure out a few simple facts. The screen, attached to the alien sarcophagus, showed one set of data. Meanwhile, the panel on the wall connected to the station's computer and was painting another picture entirely.

She gulped. The station readings were somewhat standard, but the indicators on the monitor of the alien pod were displaying a rapid rise in numbers.

Hel decided not to stay for too long under these circumstances. She rushed towards a relatively small cargo crate, doing her best to move it through the pang in her shoulder. She'd need it to get up and crawl into the vent again at any cost.

If it weren't for the instilled fear and the adrenaline pumping, she probably wouldn't have made it out. Fortunately, she did - breathing heavily, on the verge of collapsing.

Her work wasn't done, though. Work... when did it become a kid's task to go through all that? It didn't matter. First things first, she hurried to talk to her father.

Helena had chosen to go to him because, well, he was her favourite parent. Which was ironic since he didn't seem to give a damn about her. But Harold Redford's indifference for whatever reason provided her with more comfort than her mother's crusade to change who she was.

She had chosen poorly. Harry didn't appear to be bothered much, having listened to his own daughter's frantic tale. In fact, he barely glanced away from the engineering station.

'How many specialists are working on this station?' He asked, and Hel had to focus hard to remember the answer. 'How likely is it that none of them noticed the readings in the cargo bay were abnormal?'

When she didn't answer, Harold let out a deep existential sigh. That was when Hel knew - she'd lost this battle. That sigh was final.

The next round was with her mother. She'd been in the bio lab, taking care of the specimens. When Hel entered, the woman dropped everything and stared at her.

'What have you done now?' There was judgement in her eyes as well as something else. Fear. But was it the fear for her daughter or of her?

That conversation went better, all things considered.

'Are you absolutely sure? It's not one of those pranks you and your brother pull on everybody?'

How weird - her kids hadn't done anything like that in years. Helena nodded to the former and shook her head to the latter.

'Alright,' Oksana Redford moved to put the samples away. 'Найди дядю Костю, расскажи ему. Бегом.'

Why didn't she go straight to uncle Kostya? Oh, yeah. In the back of her mind, she'd already thought him responsible and guilty.

That she did. Still, when she told the man everything. When he leaned down in front of her and grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, saying it would be alright. She believed him. She trusted him.

Even as the alarm went off and the station corridors turned red.

Enough, she stated. Helena couldn't speak. But in her mind, she concluded that this much would suffice. It wasn't like she didn't know what would happen next. The horror, the screams, the deaths. As far as she was concerned, the demonstration was over.

'The evacuation route is that way, go, kiddo.'

Uncle Kostya's last words to her.

Enough, enough.

She focused on her inner voice in the now, in the today.

It works. It works well. It...

'It works.'

At last! 

The woman could feel herself blink and hear herself talk, coming back to a normal state.

Her first coherent thought? It was a pity that the trader didn't give her a proper warning. She would've set the timer and checked how long this mental trip had taken her.

Hel glanced at the digital clock on the wall. A rough estimation, but it couldn't have been longer than a minute or two. Impressive. Such a vivid experience, effective and quick.

The mind-numbing sound was a crucial part of the mechanism, no doubt. Although there must have been something else to it. Helena did her best to shake off the brain fog. Radiofrequency electromagnetic radiation? The scientists would have to study this device further. She made a note to ask them about it. After all, this was very curious and exciting.

'I'll take it. The payment will arrive as promised.'

She made her way towards the appliance she'd called the "neo-fountain" and stopped the metronome part with her finger.

It was hard to tell whether she didn't notice the sheer astonishment with which the Lvessian trader was looking at her. Or maybe she chose not to.

#ooof. done done done. #I've been putting this off for years. #this is sort of the basis for my trek verse. #the next thing I ought to do is actually clean up the verse description #and link this in there))) #helish drabble #I call these things drabbles)) they are too long to be drabbles XD but meh #phaser on kill.au

[sohelish]

Rest

Helena is officially alone - no loud noises, nothing to disturb her. The room she’s currently residing in can be considered somewhat soundproof due to its design. Perhaps, not to go as far as to say that it will conceal every scream, but oh, the bliss.

Her head is absolutely buzzing, heavy as lead. There are no people of any kind around here. And will not be for a while since she is fully contained now in these four walls.

It’s time for her to rest, at last, because the entire world is work, tiresome, exhausting. She soaks it all in, every inch and bit, running the data through her mind. Mulling it over every day.

In this place, the outside is not allowed.

Hey, Hel? What do you do when you’re not snooping around?

She chuckles and instantaneously makes a face as if the person asking this is present. But no, the girl who posed the question is not currently in the vicinity. Yet Helena reacts and catches herself doing it.

Damn, damn. Enough. Stop and relax for a change.

The woman focuses on her breathing, in and out, in and out again. Allows her shoulders to fall and visibly shakes the springiness off of herself. Her face slowly changes, shades of amusement disappearing, leaving only the wrinkles as a trace of her active expressions.

Her eyes barely ever sparkle with any warmth, but this time they go fully dull, almost like she isn’t really there inside her own head.

‘Finally. Nicely done.’

That is how she motivates herself. And why she says it out loud. Her tone, usually cheerful and confident, is gone entirely. The raspy voice is flat. And for a moment, it appears as if every bit of her surroundings is an irritant. And she disapproves of the air itself. It is not true, by all means, but that is the impression.

A blanket of impassiveness covers her - that is when she resembles her childhood self the most. The kid who would sit and stare and observe and judge.

She no longer partakes in the judging, however. Because it has been declared a universal waste of time, and there is nothing to observe in the room. Purposefully so.

Hel blinks rapidly three times, moves her head from side to side, checking. Making sure the professional mask of excitement is stored neatly enough somewhere deep within her.

That is when the light returns to her eyes, even if it’s a dimmed variation. After all, it has always been about the eyes. Nothing else her face shows is ever truly interpreted properly. Rarely, at least.

Alright. What is on the menu tonight?

She walks towards the stack of books that she had brought over: the load of them of a self-improvement kind. Time and resource management, a guide to making quick decisions and how to think more effectively, others with similar themes and titles.

Hel picks one and flops on the couch, opening the...

She is fast asleep, completely knocked out.

#helish drabble #been meaning to write about hel resting + showing how introverted she really is)) #what she does in-between the adventures) #passes out I guess))))

[sohelish]

Icy adventures part 2

As she was about to collapse from exhaustion, the Guardian finally made it to a suitable cave. The second wave of energy filled her at the sudden stroke of luck, and she focused on the Solar Light, keeping herself warm and cosy. 

‘How’s that signal you’re sending to Elsie doing? Is it coming through?

She even started working on the Vex parts, having run into a Minotaur on her way to safety. Brought quite a few trophies along with her, even as her ghost protested and lectured her on priorities.

‘No.’

Izi dipped down as if in shame, its voice a morbid tremble.

‘No worries,’ the ghost’s owner was way too cheerful for the ongoing situation. ‘I should’ve told her that I’m coming over. Then she’d be on the lookout for me, but, hey. Couldn’t risk her being nosy, could I.’

‘Yes, but... This is no time to laugh, Hel. This is serious.’

I’m frightened, was what Izi wanted to say, yet chose not to appear weak.

‘Relax, we’ve been stuck like this before, haven’t we?’ Hel kept on toying with the Vex Minotaur arm.

‘We barely made it to the cave this time. The storm isn’t passing, and it has been hours. You are hungry, I am concerned. Very concerned.’

The last sentence was soaked through with a sort of dark helplessness. Hel couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows at the ghost.

‘Okay, I hear it now. What’s the matter?’ She set the metal arm aside. ‘We agreed to talk things out, right? You’ve been awfully weird ever since---’

‘Ever since you dropped off that body?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Yes.’

The pause hung heavily over the human and her drone.

‘I heard something.’

Another pause settled. More sinister this time. Broken... by a fit of a hearty laugh?

‘Helena, really?’

‘Wh--- What do you want me to do?’ The woman quickly wiped a stray tear before it froze on her eyelash. ‘This dialogue feels very surreal. As if it came from some cheap horror novel. The next thing’s going to happen: we hear a large thud here and now. Then,’ she wiggled her fingers. ‘The zombies appear!’

‘Not funny. Not what I meant.’

‘Oh, wait! There’s a zombie here already!’ She poked herself in the chest gleefully. ‘See? No need to be all fussy. This zombie’s on your side and will give the others a run for their glimmer.’

‘I heard a chime, Hel. You know,’ Izi flew up closer to her Guardian’s face and whispered. ‘The one.’

‘Pfft, ah that,’ Helena waved it off. ‘I heard that too.’

‘What, and it doesn’t bother you? The moment you throw a corpse into a Europan crevasse, the Darkness chimes, and that is totally fine!?’

‘It chimes a lot, in many places, actually.’

The woman went back to tinkering on the Vex arm, falling silent for a short while.

‘There’s a rumour--- the chiming can be heard during Trials.’

‘No way, that can’t be--- Mm.’

‘Maybe it’s time to accept that the Darkness is closer than we think, eh?’

Hel brought her hand up and touched one of the petals on Izi’s shell, petting it.

‘Listen. If nothing bad has happened yet - nothing bad has happened yet. Don’t waste your energy on might-s and maybes. If the pyramid parks itself outside this cave - then we ask ourselves, what’s that all about? The chiming’s not a new thing. You clearly just weren’t comfortable with what I was doing and paid attention to a thing at the right moment. Thus you think it’s all connected, when in fact you’re---’

‘Mm. You are right. I do disapprove. Thank you for reminding me.’

The ghost grumbled with steely undertones and disappeared from sight, seemingly executing punishment by depriving the Guardian of its company.

Hel only shrugged calmly and continued working on disassembling the Vex remains.

‘Finally. Some peace and quiet. And a semblance of truth for a change.’

She chuckled.

#guess who just went ahead and #wrote a part two lol #I honestly wanted to script a dialogue between the two but #ended up writing this whole thing XD #I'll put a link to part one later. better not forget #d2drbbl #helish drabble #too bad it's a d2 drabble so almost no one even reads these heh #I happen to have fun with these XD

[sohelish]

‘A thought I had,’ she muttered, swirling around the contents of the bottle and smirking lightly to herself.

Not that anyone asked, to be fair.

Hel just randomly chose to muse out loud.

Maybe the alcohol was to blame.

‘About those deciphered messages. About the Traveller being a Gardener, and the Darkness entity being the Winnower.’

The pause that she held felt overly dramatic, rather theatrical.

There was something about the tension of her face, the movement of her mouth that foretold that she was about to spill out something hilarious.

‘What if they really are? A Gardener and a Winnower, I mean.’

Judging by the way her face began to contort, she was barely holding it together.

‘No, for real, what if they are someone’s intergalactic gardening AI tools that just rebelled and ran off?’

She couldn’t hold it in anymore, and the space boomed with her laughter.

‘And all this time,’ she started choking on air, bent over. Almost dropped her booze too. ‘All this time, we are worshipping! Worshipping someone’s high-tech crop dispersal equipment or something!’

#here have a smol drabble #about a silly thought that crossed my mind today #like what if yeah... what if it's that simple... #like when you learn that ra.sputin used to be a health support ai #so what if the ball was literally a part of a gardening experiment gone wrong *wheezes* #things villains do in their free time (open) #helish drabble #d2drbbl