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messyhairedhazeleyeddude · 4 months

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━━━━╝‘ I bet you think about me ’╚━━━━━

A Denji x Fem!Innocent!Reader | A little fluff + SMUT

Contents ; Innocent reader, pervert Denji (nothing changed), peer pressure, corruption, tons of suggestive innuendos, groping, heavy mention of titties, titty-sucking, PDA, guided handjob, thighjob, pornography, non-stop fucking, and obsessive behavior.

A/N ; MYYYYYY FAVORITE! This dude has been deep in my heart ever since I was introduced into CSM. And now, I place the dude above everyone on my preferred list of characters. Especially cause I relate to the man so much. He’s too careless for his own good at times, BAHAHAHAHAH. Okay, enough of me rambling, appreciate my boy and my fine story by reposting and commenting. Whatever you’re feeling for, little readers.

Dynamic ; Kind of FWB?? to Lovers

Sexual Dynamic ; Dom!Denji | Sub!Fem!Reader

P.O.V ; First & Third

Age range ; 18+

Music suggestion ;

[ Denji’s P.O.V ; ]

Today was supposed to be ordinary. Power talked her ass off most of the morning, I would chime in once in a while to joke, and Aki spouted shit at me for everything and anything I did. That’s how it went on in the apartment we lived in. In the middle of the day, we would head for the headquarters. Go back to the stressful life of a Devil Hunter.

But for me, that was nothing. I was more than happy to return to work. A lot of my co-workers complained on and on, sure you get your hands a little bloody, although most of us didn’t care about the slaughtering. It’s not like they were human. Not including the people that got in my way, that was not my fault!

All I knew is that if it meant I got to be entertained by a girl like Makima and fulfill the desires I’ve been dreaming about, that’s cool with me. And the power from Pochita was a huge plus.

Yeah, it was supposed to be another one of those days. Makima would’ve given me a case to solve had it been. But, instead, I was staring at her from across the room, talking to another girl who I didn’t recognize. Hell, was she beautiful though.

Her silky {H/C} hair looked recently done, styled into a braided half ponytail with bangs in the front. Long lashes framing her {E/C}, sweet eyes; the smile she had was enough for me to tell that she would spoil a man to his heart’s content. When my eyes drifted down her body, especially to her ass, I almost didn’t want to believe it. But, I was so sure of it. She passed Makima’s thickness by at least ten percent.

I bit my tongue and swallowed the build-up of spit before making my way to where they stood, pushing my hands in my pockets so nothing showed if I popped one. Often occurrence, do not recommend.

Keeping my eyes ahead, I tried to remain as respectful as I could be while addressing my boss, “Hey, Makima. And…” As soon as I looked over at the pretty girl, I paused so she could say her name, but at the same time, I was freaking out about how much better her appearance was up close.

My brain couldn’t keep up. She had clean, soft skin with a gradient to her cheeks and lips that made me want to go for kissing them, no hesitation. When she glanced back at me, I couldn’t pry my eyes away from hers, watching her reply to me in admiration, “Oh, my name is {Y/N}. I’ve transferred here from Special Division 7… Nice to meet you! You must be the Chainsaw boy she has been telling me about!” God, even her name fit her perfectly.

Wait. Special Division 7? A stopping record player noise sounded off in my head and I turned to Makima for an explanation. The auburn-haired woman was smirking at me like she found my reaction amusing, as always. She leaned forward from her sitting position, resting her chin on her palm, and introduced {Y/N}’s background, “Say hello to the famed Youth Devil, Denji. She’s a beautiful one, isn’t she?”

The Youth Devil? Oh, I’ve heard about her before. Aki talked about coming across someone from a division that had become the Devil that aged people, yet she apparently had no knowledge of anything outside of ‘safe-for-work territory’. Or whatever the fuck he wanted to label it as. Really, that just meant she has no idea how valuable those titties are and that gives me a high chance of getting a squeeze. Or… more.

My gaze had unconsciously drifted to her chest at the thought of that, the button of her white top barely holding because of its size as I forgot to answer Makima. So, being the Youth Devil included being incredibly busty too? Good to know.

It wasn’t until I heard the clear of her throat that I had snapped back into the present and responded without thinking, “Yeah, she is.” Turning red once I realized what I had been doing right in front of the two women, a bit of worry brimming the back of my mind.

{Y/N}’s face lit up at the compliment rather than furrowed and she was quick to thank me, “Awww, you’re so sweet! Thank you, Denji!” And for a minute, I was stuck wide-eyed, half-expecting a slap across the cheek because I was obviously checking her out. Well, I’ll be fucking damned. I guess what Aki was saying about her was true after all.

Before I could get out a ‘You’re welcome’, Makima interrupted by getting off of the desk she was using as a seat, nonchalantly dismissing herself, “I have some things to attend to, so I’m sorry to say, but I’m taking my leave. I hope you find yourself comfortable with Denji, {Y/N}!”

About to pass me up, her intimidating yellow eyes locked onto mine and she leaned to whisper into my ear, “If you want to play with her so badly, why don’t you make her your new toy? You’re strong, right?” Then she walked off as if she didn’t suggest what she just did. My eyebrows and goosebumps raising at the comment. She was encouraging me to do it?

Chewing on my bottom lip, my breathing slowly got worse as I was left with horrible thoughts and a growing erection. {Y/N} not making it any better because she lingered. Don’t get me wrong, I was fine in hanging out with her. More than fine. But, not with all of this also in mind now.

“What’d she say?” She asked, fluttering those long eyelashes at me, and I didn’t know why but when I looked into her {E/C} eyes again— it was like millions of memories were yanked out of my brain and put in them like a projector. Causing me to take a step back and rub away whatever was happening in startled confusion. What the fuck was that?

I blinked away the rest I could, however, I remembered everything so that didn’t help; coming to a conclusion from the look she gave. My head wasn’t the one messing with me, it was her. Or whatever the hell that fucking power is. And I was not cool with that.

Avoiding eye contact by glaring at the floor, I grumbled, “Was that you?” I wasn’t going to hang around for any longer if she wanted to manipulate my mind, especially if it was concerning something like my past. I didn’t want to be reminded. I came here to escape.

A gasp left her like she was frightened before I saw her in my peripheral vision; raising a hand and putting it on her forehead. She took a moment to answer me in a tired voice, “I was just trying to find out more about you… I got too curious, I’m so sorry.”

Hearing her say that was reassuring and gave me the go to stare at her again, my tone dropping back to that same inviting one from earlier, “Oh, shit.. Well, yeah. I don’t have that great of a life so I wouldn’t pry too far.” I tried to shrug it off, rushing to a solution so it didn’t get awkward, “You want to go get some ice cream or something, gorgeous?” It was a last minute suggestion, but that could work.

The {H/C}-haired girl seemed to be near crying before she nodded slowly, a smile rising on her face as she unexpectedly got close to me and intertwined her fingers in mine. Pulling me off along with her while chiming, “Who doesn’t?! I’d love to!” Easier than I thought. But, I’m not complaining.

──⇌• Switch in P.O.V ; Third •⇋──

On the way to the ice-cream shop, Denji stumbled on a couple of rouge devils with {Y/N} in an alleyway and as fate has it with them, they ended up having to chase them down into a field. Faced with the ugly things combining into a whole bundle of disgusting flesh and faces.

She had solved what they were dealing with as soon as they began merging while he did not. Denji didn’t care for details, he wanted to go straight into shredding. He gripped onto his pull cord and tugged, the chainsaws ripping through his skull and arms. Making the curious girl stay behind and observe how he handled the monstrous creature.

With a rush of adrenaline, the now transformed Chainsaw Devil tore into its body, piece by piece. Blood and guts splattered everywhere onto the ground from the relentlessness he had. Getting onto {Y/N} because of how much had sprayed.

He finished when he wanted to. Raging on the thing until it was nothing but a pile of mush left to pitifully sit in the middle of the empty space it sought out for safety.

Then he retracted his chainsaws back into himself, his skin latching and coming together when he did. Molding back into his handsome, worn face. Like nothing happened. Leaving {Y/N} to blankly gaze at him, soaked in red, and drift down to witness the true wrath of Denji.

No doubt was she intimidated by the boy, seeing for herself what Makima had been commending about him. He was the real deal. A true Devil Hunter.

Wiping off the blood from around her mouth, she began to smile and clap with a giddy cheer, “That was impressive! You’re really good to be able to take out a Devil that easily. How long have you been in the game?”

He raised a brow at how she was phrasing their work, confused that she was asking but deciding to respond anyway, “I guess as soon as I could survive on my own, I’ve been hunting. It’s all I’ve known.” Saying it so casually out loud was weird for him. No one usually asks about this type of stuff. Other than when Makima does. But, here was another girl doing it.

{Y/N}’s face twisted into a look of wonder, twinges of sadness in it as she thought about a young boy having to deal with that kind of stress. It made him charming somehow. She felt the need to praise him for it, “The dedication you have to helping people is inspiring.. I hope to achieve the same goal as you, Denji.” A small appreciative smile was sent his way right after she finished.

Although, his attention was completely misplaced. Guess where; her breasts. He was zoned, an idea coming to him when hearing her instead. “My goal? You could help me achieve that, {Y/N},” the blonde beamed. His brown eyes finally getting off of her chest to address her politely.

She moved forward, innocently egging him on, “Oh, really? How?” The way she peered back at him while waiting, that sweet look never leaving her face once, it gave Denji the confidence he needed to elaborate, “Ever since I’ve been thrown into devil-hunting, I only wanted one thing out of it.”

Walking closer, he leaned to where he almost touched foreheads with her, murmuring the last sentence, “A pretty girl who’d let me fondle her body, whenever, wherever…” He felt guilty after saying it, but the eagerness was too much. There was no way he would pass this chance up.

Thinking to herself, she concluded what he was hinting to and thumbed the bottom of her shirt; lifting it over her head and throwing it to the side like it was something natural. He held his breath at the sudden action, the full view in front of him because she wasn’t wearing a bra. ‘This was quick..! Why is she undressing?!’ Panicked thoughts went rampant as he tried to process what to do, glued to admiring her front half while also confused about what her reasoning for this was.

The {E/C}-eyed girl told him it with the purest intention possible, “You seemed to be interested in my chest so I guessed that this is the part of me you wanted to touch? And I was uncomfortable by the bloody mess. But, sorry if I got it wrong! I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” Even though she had no clue on what she was truly doing, she still managed to get it dead on. Making Denji chuckle out of excitement.

His sharp teeth poked out in a snarky grin at {Y/N}, his hand reaching over to palm one of her breasts and squeeze. Most of it filling the cracks of his fingers and fitting perfectly, if not a little bigger. That grin of his widened like he was off of his rocker as he got greedy; grabbing both of them to push them together. They were so soft. So fuckable. He wanted to stick his dick in them so badly.

A whimper slipped past her lips and Denji went from eyeing her breasts to looking at her brushing her hair out of the way for him. Butterflies erupting in his stomach at how considerate she was despite him taking advantage of her obliviousness. All he could do was commend and thank her with a red blush across his cheeks, “Thank you… so much. Fuck, I can’t even believe that you’re real right now. Your boobs are so fucking huge..!”

She would’ve laughed at the comment if his touches weren’t affecting her like this, his fingertips brushing past her nipples to mess with them, the perverted bite to his lip drawing a bit of blood to dribble down his chin. The girl arched into the feeling and moaned softly, struggling to speak, “Hah.. Thanks.! W-Wow! Why does that mm-feel good?”

They were out in the open, but Denji wanted to go for the risk. He didn’t care if anyone came across the two of them fucking like animals, he just wanted to do it. And nothing was going to stop him the moment he could tell that she wanted to do it with him too.

He pushed on what she said, using it as bait, “You want me to make you feel better? I can teach you a couple more things… Something that’d make us feel incredible.” And as she was about to reply, he leveled with one of her breasts and gave a lick to the bud; a squeal leaving her instead.

Repeating himself, he mumbled against her nipple, her breath hitching at his sharp teeth grazing it slightly as he talked, “Keep getting yourself undressed, pretty baby… I want to have some fun with you.” He sounded desperate, {Y/N} falling for it and hooking her fingers on her skirt zipper, unzipping it and letting it fall to the ground.

Denji grunted and wrapped his entire mouth around the bud after that, sucking at it while unbuttoning his pants. Digging in his boxers to tug out his throbbing dick so it was no longer suffocated. He made a fist around his shaft and began jerking off, pre-cum forming around his tip the more he tightened on the veiniest part.

She peeked over the side of him to get a look at what he was doing, holding her legs together when she was beginning to feel something wet between them, entranced at his lower half. It looked satisfying to do and he had mentioned playing so it seemed normal to go for. But, she was in for a surprise because as she attempted to replace his hand, he jolted back and huffed, “Woah, woah… I don’t think you want to get that serious. Who knows what I might do to you if you do…”

Honestly, {Y/N} really loved the sound of everything he was talking about and she didn’t want this to end. She wanted it to go further. Her curiosity wasn’t something to tease, she will figure it out, one way or another. So, she swiftly rushed back in front of him and pressed up against him, resting her chin on his collarbone while she barely rested her fingers on the tip. Begging at him for compliance, “Please, sir… I do want to find out…”

He sucked in some air through his teeth and tensed, almost driven crazy from the pleasure of her contact with him there. It was a noticeable difference between her hand and his dick but he could definitely make it work. And after her asking like that, she was in for a treat.

The brown-eyed boy grabbed her wrist to position her fingers at a better angle before he guided it down his shaft, watching her unable to wrap her whole palm around from how thick he was. He groaned, his own sexual frustrations leaving from his mouth as she got to savor them now.

Eventually, {Y/N} caught onto him pushing her to go faster and sped up her movements as best as she could. Joining her other hand to clasp around his cock to stroke everything rather than a portion. Until he ended up impatient and lifted her up with his arms underneath hers, holding around her ass to move himself in the middle of her legs. Slowly sliding in the correct position; his dick melting in between her pussy and thighs.

Denji lowered her onto him now, grinding their pleasure out while they locked eyes with each other in a half-lidded daze. She moaned vicariously, stuttering some words here and then to emphasize what she was experiencing, “It’s making me feel so… weak! Nnghh-ah ah! Chainsaw.. boy.. wait! I feel so weird..!” His hips began to collide with hers as he increased in speed, closing his eyes to pretend he was fucking into her. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself out in public though. He had to be reminded about the consequences they could face if they were caught.

She was ignored and sputtered nonsense once she got close, “God! I think… I have to go! I have to go! Stop! I don’t- mmppph.. wanna..! DENJI!” The blonde figured it was because she hadn’t cummed before and knowing that he was the one that was gifting her— her first orgasm— made him spiral in a violent fit of thrusting hard into the folds of her pussy, right against her puffy clit.

Whines yelped out of her as her juices poured all over his length, creating sharper wet sounds and more friction for him. His tip swollen by the time he was close to falling off of the edge of cloud nine with her. Once Denji could feel the rush of his cum trying to spill, he gave a final ram and angled it around her hole to allow it into {Y/N} a little. She trembled in his hold, watching him leave her legs, bruised and messy. Satisfaction written all on his face at what he got away with.

They didn’t even clean up the cum when they went back for the office, deciding to do it a couple of hours later despite both of them feeling the slick in their underwear. Instead, they kept glancing at each other, exchanging a knowing stare until someone interrupted it to talk to either one of them. That sexual tension never stopped fucking with Denji. And {Y/N} was simple-minded as always, in her own little world.

But, she didn’t bat an eye when the boy randomly slipped hands into her shirt one day to get a feel or let her know he was horny by pressing his boner against her ass. He would whisper dirty words to her throughout it, coaxing her into doing things, just for him, “I want to go back to messing with you, babydoll… Can we go inside one of those bathrooms? Need to relieve this.”

{Y/N} would go into the bathroom and he would strip her down like she was a doll, his pants to his knees, her chest resting on the sink and displaying her in front of the mirror. He took her virginity in them. Forcing his cock to slam into her walls, reaching for her guts, all to get lost in her warm pussy. Denji growled loudly, echoing in the tiny room they were locked in while he demanded, “Spread yourself for me. I want to see my dick plunging inside that cute body of yours..!”

Only able to comply, she used both of her hands to pull her ass apart, exposed completely for him to see as he got worse in his constant pounding. Making the poor {Y/N} drool while she twitched in ecstasy, her orgasm running through her for the second time when he wouldn’t quit.

His honey brown eyes seemed so sweet at first, but now they were glaring deep at her expressions, resting into a melted one the second he neared his end. Denji released every drop inside without hesitation, her moans rocking out of her because of him slowing down as he humped it into her.

Then he started over in the same rough pace from before and she endured it as much as she could, her eyebrows knitting up into an exasperated, sweaty look. He was like a dog mating when it came to sex; stamina, aggressive, and having a bunch of cum to dump. {Y/N} was holding onto the sides of the glass counter once he had cummed for a second time, burrowing his cock deep like it was a ritual by now.

And he repeated. Leaving the girl to barely understand what was happening to her from the overstimulation. Denji wasn’t stopping. Even as she screamed for him to, “Fuck! Please! Please, master, I can’t handle anymore!” The pet name he directed her to say a regular word for her at this point.

After his seed was spilling out of her on its own and creating a puddle on the floor, after Denji was dry-cumming and making her unravel onto him like she was throwing a fit off of drugs; that’s when he finally gave up and got off of her. Slipping his dick out and shuddering a couple of words laced with dopamine, “Not so bad for our first hook-up… I don’t know if I want to wait for the others.” Was he hinting at going for more rounds? ‘Dear god..’ was the last thing she could think before she dropped unconscious.

Lil Special Extra // Denji’s P.O.V

Weeks had passed by after me and {Y/N} became a ‘thing’. Hooking up led to a lot more and now she was basically at my apartment almost every day. Sure, Aki and Power were annoyed at her presence, not wanting to hear or see any of the exchanges we gave. But, a man’s gotta live and how can he not without slapping his girlfriend’s ass?

However, there was one downside to her staying over and that was her availability in walking in on me doing lots of inappropriate activities. Whether that was jerking off to her or to… porn.

She bursted into my room late at night after having woken up from a nap in the living room and I was right in the middle of rubbing one out to my favorite fantasy porno. Jumping out of my skin when I heard her shout, “Darling, you miss-! Oh…” The small ‘oh’ quieter than the rest.

My hand and dick glistened with the lube I had saved for times like this, a blush covering my face as I snapped the laptop shut. The sounds of sex disappearing with it.

Anxiety raged through me at how she was going to react, completely forgetting that she barely had a grip on anything sexual until she squeaked out, “What was that? Can I… see?” As soon as I heard that, I quickly dropped the embarrassment and those dirty thoughts snapped back into my usual perverted personality.

Shit, I almost didn’t remember who I was and who she was. Beckoning for her to come sit down on my lap once she closed the door.

{Y/N} straddled me and observed as I opened the screen back up to the lewd scene of a woman being bred just like she had been. Her eyes going wide and a blush crossing her cheeks at the similarity. That innocence of hers was going to be ruined real quick around me. And I loved ruining it. Sliding my fingers down in between her legs like usual so I could welcome her to another sexual addiction I’d use for my benefit.

#csm denji #csm smut #smut #smut prompts #csm x reader #csm denji x reader #denji x reader #denji x reader smut #denji x fem reader #denji x fem reader smut #this boy crazy with the fucking #kinda kin the dude #corruption kink

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readbythestarlight · 5 years

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c2e43

I have no idea what Sam’s ad was about but that was amazing. I love how you can tell they’re such good friends that they can tease each other than way.

Oh god here we go

WALL OF FIYAAAHHHH

okay okay it’s fine they’re gonna be fine

OKAY BEAU GOOD RUN THAT BOOK TO THE PLANK KING

“but what she can do is control water” FRIIIICK

bad roll bad roll please bad roll

AHHHHHHHH CALEB FUCKING UP AVANTIKA WITH A COUNTERSPELL

MY BOY

LIAM’S FACE WAS THE BEST

matt no

YEEEEEEESSSSSS

MY BOYYYYYY

IM SO PROUD OF MY SON RIGHT NOW GUYS

“now you can die happy” TRAVIS

DIMENSION DOOR YAAAS

they have been using the break well for planning

Against Caleb fuck

Liam is so tense it looks painful

GET OUT OF THERE ALL OF YOU

FJORD GETTIN’ MY BOY OUT YAAAAS

Get Nott out get Nott out!

NOTT NO RUN

OH SHIIIT

RUN CREW OF THE MISTAKE RUUUN

They are playing so smart right now I’m so proud of them

CALEB NO

FUCK

CAD GET TO HIM

guys Caleb can’t die I won’t be able to handle it

I literally haven’t been this stressed since Molly died

NOTT NO

TAKE HER HEAD OFF, YASHA

“Let’s get weird” I like the sound of that

SUMON GREATER DEMON YAHHHHH

SJORD SUMMONING A GIANT DEMON ALKSALKDFSDGLKJ

Liam and Travis constantly slapping each other in excitement is the CUTEST FUCKING THING

what does that mean phantasmal force

DID IT WORK

The dice gods are smiling on my children tonight and I have never been so grateful

don’t lose the demon don’t lose the demon

okay good

wait Beau just wait

Travis’s excited little hug he gives MArisha

THEIR FRIENDSHIP JUST GIVES ME LIFE YOU GUYS

Liam’s rage is all of us

Cad, darling, how about you get to Caleb plz

Okay that’s fine bless Yasha and Nott and yourself that’s good too

Fjord coming in with the healing potion to save Caleb hell yes

Caleb don’t fireball now that’s not good

not what you wanna do not babe

you know what I changed my mind BURN THAT SHIP DOWN

Poor Bouldergut.

Daaaamn Caleb.

Welp Caleb’s gonna have a flashback.

Oh jeeze.

I can’t imagine how Beau feels waiting while all this happens behind her

Nott honey no

That was somehow even more stressful than the fight with the Iron Shepards when Molly died

I have literally never been so worked up from an episode of Critical Role you guys

Okay Beau be cool about this

OH GOD

IT WAS A TEST

FUCK FUCK FUCK

THIS IS BAAAAAD

oh damn girl you playing it hard

lie well baby girl lie well

Jumanji Costco again

This is NOT going as well as I thought it would

I’m tense again Matt why couldn’t you just give us a break

Liam’s reading his book and it worries me a little bit

I’m literally so worried about how this is going to end

Oh dang Beau spilling some half truths with a lovely 22 roll

“As you have murdered a majority of her crew” yeahhhhh they did at that

Avantika you liaaaaaar

AVANTIKA YOU LYING WITCH

AHHH THAT NAT20

oh god oh god please let this work

HAHAHA SHE FAILED HALLELUJAH

ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyy goddddd

I CANT FUCKING BREATHE

oh god okay

just banish them from the island

just banish them. please. a “if i ever see you again you’re dead” thing

THANK GOD

I’m literally shaking

Snake eyes lol Laura paying for all the good rolls

“We don’t have to pigeon this” xD

Listen I’m 100000% happy to have a resource management game for a while. I need a break from the insanity.

I’m so glad Orli made it out alive

Jester is so taking Avantika’s clothes lol

Caleb thinking about Fjord <3

C: “We are the three assholes in this group”

Nott: “I - I’m asshole adjacent”

C: “Fjord’s going to find this very difficult.”

N: “We’ll take care of him like we always do.”

“He’s looking for a father, he exposed himself to this woman for us.” I’m having a lot of feelings about Caleb worrying about Fjord and understanding that he’s going through hard things, and understanding what he had to do with Avantika and how it must have affected him.

Caleb and Fjord are back at the top of my list of my favorite relationships in the game.

I’m back to being lowkey WidoFjord trash I feel like. Oops.

Oh. Fuck. Wait.

Is Fjord’s accent to sound like Vandrin?? Is that something that was established at some point and I missed it???

Jester did just say “If we find him will you stop sounding like him?” didn’t she??

IS IT SOMETHING JUST BETWEEN THEM??

holy shit it is

WOW IM REALLY SAD NOW THAT’S WHY FJORD’S ACCENT CHANGES??

They’re still after the wreck. I was kinda hoping that they would just be like “okay let’s leave it buried there”.

But at the same time I think they need to go. So Fjord can get closure with the whole Vandrin thing.

Why do they all have these crazy cool spells that we’re only just hearing about

Caleb’s like “I just got my cat back but if you need an octopus I guess….. ;__;”

Caleb is so cute and proud

Hi yes y’all please remember the ghost woman

Fjord’s like “LET’S GO YEAH” and everyone else is like Fjord plz we need to rest first

Cad: “I’ve been putting the fruit in everyone’s food for like a week” I would die

GUYS PLEASE REMEMBER THE GHOST WOMAN

Oh good I’m glad Beau remembered

Oh I’m glad she remembered to take Sprinkle out before he could die :P

I love how they bought pets, lost one, left one, and constantly forget one

Oh god here we go into the ocean

They’re at the bottom of the ocean this is amazing and terrifying

oh god

it’s a whale it’s fine

I love that

Matt you make everyone so amazing

Cad waving at the whales. So pure.

I’m ready for the Fjord feels you guys

JUST AS MATT CUTS IT OF COURSE

Man this was insane, intense, I was so stressed for the first two hours.

I’m really eager to see how things go with Fjord. He’s been through a lot, first the guilt over Molly’s death and their treatment by the Shepherds, and then all of this, and also the stuff from his backstory with Vandrin, and the sudden acquisition of magic, and finding out the magic came from a probably evil banished god. I’m just saying he’s gonna need some hugs.

God so good. Good good good good episode.

#emi watches critical role #critical role #critical role spoilers

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oniric-multimuse-rp · 7 years

Note

‘☠’ ((Heiji stop it with that Paikaru that's strong stuff

" FRIST OF AAALI SWEAR TO DRUNK IM NO GOD! Snecod . KDUO NISHICHI IS A SWEET PIECE OF ASS bUt HE'S MYYYYYY aas like ONLY MINE OK? Adn I wanna marry that shiiiiitttttttt so muhc ~ an DRILL HIS FINE BTUTTT! " - Heiji

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westerberg · 7 years

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i sad

ugh my period of “anger masking any sadness” has ended and i’m sad again.

honestly im just so tired of everybody. I have like, one friend and my sister who i feel actually care about me, like on a day to day basis. is my dad doing his best? possibly. do i care when he still he makes me feel like shit, daily? not really tbh. i know he loves me but he just does not show any concern for my emotions or anything. he always seems to put his own needs and wants over mine, which i guess is fine, but last time i had a single parent with my mom she cared about nothing more than my feeling, my interests, and my day. she was perfect and now i have an extremely imprefect dad who has called both me and my sister a bitch before (he called me it jokingly to be fair, but god, if mom were there to see that. he called my sister a bitch for real)

i hate to be that high school depressed kid but i honestly can’t relate to my friends very well anymore. i listen to every one of their boring dentist stories, stories about their cats and dogs that are THE SAME EVERY TIME, and listen to them shit talk stuff i love. and to top it off, they don’t seem to give a shit about my stories. i talk about stuff i love and they just wander off. i feel extremely taken for granted and i am very tempted to just abandon most of them.

honestly not really any of my friends have any knowledge on my interests and i can usually deal but just something about depression + everyone taking you for granted makes you really frustrated when you’re around a bunch of people who just want you to make some jokes and listen to their shit.

none of them know anything about politics, pop culture, and our music tastes are super different, and also don’t do anything interesting. THOSE ARE THE ONLY THINGS I KNOW HOW TO HAVE GOOD CONVOS ABOUT. AND I DONT FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING THAT THE 2008 RECESSION EVEN HAPPEND OR WHO DICK CHENEY IS TO HAVE SOME GOOD CONVERSATIONS.

i have two friends on tumblr, and one doesnt go to our school anymore and i dont think she reads my posts so im not too worried about that. but if you are reading dont worry ur good. then the other one is my Good Friend who tells Interesting Stories and knows the First Thing about politics and pop culture. ur still a weeb but cha good.

friend #1: annoying lil trumpet player who loves picking fights and making me feel stupid. bitch, im so much smarter than you. i dont care if you understand finding non-real zeroes in a polynomial, you didnt understand la la land and and why the muslim ban is nonsense, whose the real idiot? i swear to god if i gotta listen to you talk about cuddling with your dog again while blatenly shrugging off stuff i wanna tell you i will beat ypu behind a dumpster. you rebuplican evangelical trumper. honestly you’re good for 1. pasing the time on jazz band bus rides and 2. stories about your crushes, even if your crush is just as big of a homophobe as you

friend #2: oh my god. OOOOOOOOHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDD. SHUT UP. OH SO YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND LA LA LAND? OH YOUR CAT CUDDLED WITH YOU TODAY? OH YOU THINK I SHOULD DO THIS DIFFERENTLY? OH SO YPU THOUGHT THE OFFICE WAS STUPID??? OH SO YPU WANNA BE AN ACCOUNTANT WHEN YOU GROW UP? OH SO YOU DID YOUR NOTES REALLY NICELY? OH SO YOU HATE BAND? OH SO YOU THINK THE RED HPT CHILI PEPPERS ARE “super old”????OH SO YOU “just wanna go home and cuddle with your cat”???????? OH THATS REALLY INTERESTING. WANNA HEAR ABOUT WHAT I DID THIS WEEKEND? OH NO OF COURSE YOU WOULDNT JUST BECAUSE I LISTENED TO YOU RAMBLE ON FOR 5 MINUTES EVERY HOUR DOESNT OWE ME YOU GIVING A SHIT ABOUT WHAT I DO TOO. OH YEAH THATS HOW FIRENDSHIP WORKS, ONE PERSON YAKKING TO THE OTHER, THE OTHE RPESON TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING AND THE EITHER GETTING A GRUNT OR A CRITISISM IN RESPONSE. YUP GRWAT THATS GREAT

friends #3+#4: same problem. they’re fun but cant take anything seriously. they just like anime and youtuber and when i try to tell them about my problems or my personal interests its obviuos they just want me to shut up and just be funny. im kinda really good friends with one of them but i s2g, they just make the same jokes every day, both tell me extremely similar dream stories which.... get boring after a while. except the one where she murdered her family, that one is interesting. one is interested in politics on some level, she watches john oliver but she still didnt know 1. who jon stewart is 2. THAT THE 2008 RECESSION HAPPEND. so. not great. the other one really doesnt know anything about anything except animation which gets. boring.so decent friends, but not really what im looking for rn.

friend #5. a weeb who is good and gay at heart. could stand to learn more about politics and pop cultures, but doing much much much better than her competition. A Good Bi

friend #6: we’re not super close but she kinda seems to just like me when i’m funny, but i guess thats how most of my friendships starts. guess that figures, but she’s nice. also did not know the 2008 recession happened

friends Rest Of Immediate Friend Group: i swear they think i’m dumb, i don’t know why but i do. don’t know them super well, they’re cooler than the rest of my friends, but seem to hate fun about just as much. date questionable boys.

i have other friends but this is the Friend Group and don’t feel like going outside of this cause none of the rest of them make me especially angry.

my friends don’t seem to know the first thing about hardships. friend #2 didnt get to archery, go to pep band that night, or put up posters that night. now, i know its an asshole move to say this but, uh, 1. she lives in a real house 2. her mom is alive 2. she isn’t struggling in school at all 3. she didnt grow up with dad in the army who ended up doing drugs 4. she’s never been depressed, and i think i have been twice now, at the age of 16, so, uh, go fuck yourself. i’ve never felt more depressed and lonely in my life and i try to vent to people and they don’t give a shit, including you so ypu know what? suck it the fuck up

god, i hate depressed me. she’s such a bitch. sarcastic intellectual, better-than-you, vengence fueled lizzie. its not me, but i don’t wanna be me right now. im fine being angry and uppity cause it feels warrented. these people don’t show me in any way that they care about me and make me feel bad god, i cant listen to one more of my privileged friends complain about shit i don’t even think about anymore.

i know i’ve been a bitch to my friends lately and healthy lizzie apologizes deeply, and depressed lizzie says go fuck yourself and why dont you help out instead of sidelining me until i become more palateable to you sophmores you dont know the first thing about life, and who think youtubers are hilarious and the holy trinity of comedies suck (office, iasip, arrested development)

i know that last line doesnt fit but it just makes me angry

#personal

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