i know everyone loves crowley but WHERE are my ladies who are horny for aziraphale,,,.,,
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you’re hot when you’re angry.
@pleinsdemuses
He let out a wordless roar of rage as soon as the door to the safehouse closed behind him. The place was untouched, which he took to mean Kingpin didn't yet know about it, but he was still furious about the abduction. He swiped some things off the nearest table, and at least one of them made a satisfying crack that meant it was broken. That internal fury needed an external outlet, but as long as he was only smashing things, it wasn't a fatal level of anger. Dex was most dangerous at a distance, not close up.
"How did he know? We were careful!" he raged, kicking over a chair. A boot came down on one of the legs until it snapped with an audible crack, not unlike the sound the bones in his hand had made when he broke them to get free of the cuffs. He was equally proficient with both hands, so it hadn't slowed him down, but he resented having to go to such lengths. Dex was always careful, meticulous even, and when that ended, there was nothing left but chaos and murder. When he found out where the mistake had happened there were going to be more bodies on the ground.
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What even *is* the plot of the Beetle? Other than Racism and Bad Writing?
Well, there was some hope for a fever dreamy what-the-fuck nightmare scenario where an unemployed clerk gets turned into a brain slave by a bugperson who forces him to do naked burglary
But then it kind of went downhill after that into Masochism Land
It's not even fun garbage anymore. It's straight nuclear waste that we're wading through, hoping for another glimpse of Bare-assed Blorbo or the BEETLE (their pronunciation) for some oasis of weirdness to make the shittiness worth it. So far it's just Dick Marsh inflicting a genocidal incel on us and hoping we find him quirky. It is not working.
Do not read The Beetle. Absorb what filters out here the way you would drink still-questionable water that's come through a tormented strainer of readers who sift through Dick's awful Marsh of Misery. I guarantee whatever you piece together yourself will be 100000x more artful than the literary slog that is this hellbook. -100 out of 5 stars. Dead beetle do not open.
The one silver lining is that it is so wretched, so abysmal, so mind-breakingly rancid, that it's genuinely inspiring. Hatefully so. It's made so many people sit down, stare into eternity, and decide, rightly:
I could sneeze on my keyboard and write a better story than this. I could slam finger paints blindly on a piece of paper and draw a better story than this. I think I will.
It's a motivator. A muse sculpted out of scarab wings and shit. All the charm and power of a sign reading TOXIC WASTE DUMP BEYOND THIS POINT, sending you careening in the other direction towards art and talent and creation free of any self-judgment.
This thing outsold Dracula when the books first came out, you will think to yourself. This piece of crystallized offal, woe, racist caricatures, endless grammatical purgatories of enough dashes and commas to turn a single sentence into a filibuster. It did that. I am better than that. There's no amount of self-doubt in my heart or on this Earth that can convince me otherwise. I am free and spurred to manifest the better things that exist in my imagination. Thank you, Dick Marsh, in whatever xenophobic murder gas death pool you're marinating in in the afterlife. Thank you.
I say again, do not read The Beetle. The Beetle is not for reading. It exists for the same reason The King in Yellow play exists in Chambers' universe. To seed madness and disgust and the full antithesis of sense and taste and all that is good.
All that, and the Beetle exploring their imprisoned mind-controlled pet clerk's body while they rant about a hot politician they're obsessed with.
The Beetle does not exist to be read, but to be endured.
You may not make it through. I'm not even sure I will.
But the challenge is there.
The option to look upon the Beetlebullshit is here.
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◈ how pure are you?
tagged by: @ramblingsofamoonwatcher – thank you, loveliest! ♡
tagging: anyone who would like to do it!
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