#haha also: to get to the ER i had to drive the exact same route back. needless to say i left my windows up this time lmao

[rocksalt-and-pie]

hey anyone wanna hear one of those batshit (...) crazy Tumblr stories that never happened in a million years? Because one just happened to me and it's almost too ironic NOT to post it on here, the website with the batshit crazy stories.

I live in a rural area. Woods, mountains, lakes, meadows, wildlife, you name it. I drive out of town, boom, nature. I see rabbits and foxes and all kinds of little critters all the time.

On my way home from the gym today, around 10pm when the sun had just gone down, i took the usual route (take me home country roads amirite!), car windows open, blasting Black Sabbath, a nice warm August evening, very idyllic, taste of freedom on my tongue, all that.

All of a sudden something small hits my windshield, bounces off and gets thrown against the window frame on the driver's side, i feel something hitting my thigh. At first I thought i was a bird but the way it was catapulted through the air i assumed it was just a piece of dirt from the corn field right outside, so i keep driving. I literally said out loud "what the fuck was that" and the entire (three minute) drive home i keep checking my rear view mirror, just in case it really had been a bird.

But nothing moves back there, so by the time I park my car outside my house, I'm convinced it was nothing, but still, I'm a bit nervous, and decide to check the backseat.

At first, i don't see anything, but i drive around with a lot of stuff on my backseat, my car is basically my hoarding room where I just put things and forget about them. So I take out my phone and shine an additional light in there.

You should know (and maybe you already do because i keep mentioning it on here) that bats are my favorite animals. As long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with them. One of my earliest memories is having a poster with different bat species on my nursery wall. My dearest stuffed animal was a bat (still have her as a matter of fact). I went through this whole vampire phase in the nineties.

However, finding an actual live bat holding on for dear life on the backseat of my car was not what i had expected and was certainly far from what I was hoping for. In fact, it made me scream like one of those girls who get killed off first in horror movies (i wasn't aware i was even capable of that. I'd also never thought people actually scream in real life when they get startled, especially not me. I can bench press over 120 pounds. I'm basically a man. A weak man, but still kind of a man).

So i spot the bat, it looks me straight in the eye, we stare at each other for a hot second, i scream bloody murder, curse like a sailor, stumble away from the car and around it (picture me slipping on parking lot pebbles like it's quicksand) to open the other door from the other side, to shoo it outside from this side, since it's already facing the driver's side's door.

Turns out it had the same idea, because once i open the door, still cursing in several languages, it is once again facing me. Another second that feels like forever passes and then the bat starts to fly. It's heading straight for my face, i scream again, i duck, the thought that it's probably better for the bat's sonar vision if I don't move crosses my mind but I can't control my reflex, it's missing my head by a few inches and flies off into the night.

Did I mention that i was literally wearing my black sabbath t-shirt? You know, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne's band? Ozzy Osbourne who is infamous for biting off a bat's head? The band i was also listening to in the car the moment when it decided to hitch a ride??

What are the odds?

I swear it was like i fucking SUMMONED it. One should think i would be prepared (and excited!) for something like this, but no. No. 0/10 experience, do not recommend.

I'm just glad it didn't start flying while I was still driving because that would not have ended well.

Farewell, little vampire, i hope you find your way home. Please never contact me again. I still love you guys and always will but that was the most unnecessary (while also cutest) jumpscare of my life.

#yo i just came back from the ER because i was seriously worried about rabies and tetanus 😎✌️ haven't been there in a couple of years #haha also: to get to the ER i had to drive the exact same route back. needless to say i left my windows up this time lmao #i don't know what to tag this so: #bats #bat #story time #halloween #spirit of halloween #black sabbath #ozzy osbourne #batman #<< yes that's right. because now i totally get why bruce got that phobia. that shit was scary #mp #the bat incident #the bat story