#guess what it's almost 4 am

[erlkink-heatcliff]

learn a thing or two from the master.

#was gonna shade this but its like almost 4 am bros. its joeover for me #limbus company #heathcliff lcb #meursault lcb #meursault limbus company #heathcliff limbus company #meurcliff #lcb meursault #lcb heathcliff #i mean i guess its meurcliff thats like vaguely implied #but also i wanted to show off broken blsault damage because it's soooo funny he's my fav unit to run forever #also shicliff and blsault is smart of me #personally . i think the shipname would be swordplay but that's my homosexuality talking. #bingoblart fart art #hrng rghg I FORGOT MEURSAULT S FUCKING SCARS you know what we ball. its fine

[yohankang]

i really need to pack but i'm in the 'tee hee i'm going on a trip :D' mode and i can't focus at all ahjdfjsjs

#i'm seeing my friends tomorrow!!!! first i need to spent 4 hours on a train but hey. it's a trip!!! #we're gonna grab breakfast at my fav place and then go grocery shopping cook at home and then go out in the evening #it will be my first time getting drunk in a while lmao i hope my alcohol tolerance is still high .. #i'll be staying there until monday so i also hope to visit my fav botanical garden and explore the city more #and eat as much delicious food as i can lol #i'm taking monday and tuesday off <3 #i'll be back home monday evening but i still need tuesday off because i want to bake a cake and muffins to share them at work on wednesday #because people in the office already know it's my bday 😭 so i need fo prepare something... #and then on friday a friend from my hometown will visit me <3 i will literally be celebrating my bday for a whole week lmaoo #it's what i deserve 😌 #SO ANYWAY guess who's still not packed #my train is at 6:50 am [*] #i still have time to pack and take a shower and iron my clothes and paint my nails. right #k.txt #(it's almost 10pm)

[laniemae]

Keep thinking about that one scene in my fangan. Yeah I know it’s literally just a concept in my head and I’m treating it like a real scene and it’s really interesting so I may talk about it later. But it’s basically later on where Kayo confessed her (pre kg) murder to Tsubasa, and how it was essentially impulsive and how she got an innocent person arrested for her crime and never confessed. And she starts breaking down over the memory and how she was completely selfish for what she did and could never forgive herself and is constantly consumed by the regret of what she did.

And when Tsubasa forgives her, Kayo gets really angry and calls him stupid for forgiving her as everything she did in the situation was essentially selfish. Tsubasa doesn’t refute what she says. More so saying that her selfish behaviour was more so in self preservation, and the way she acted within the situation, even if it hurt a lot of people, was understandable considering the trauma she went though, and forgives her for that. And Kayo is really shocked by this as she would’ve expected Tsubasa to simply refute her by saying she wasn’t selfish and is a good person at heart because he didn’t lie about how Kayo put herself first in the situation, and rather interpreted it with a different perspective compared to her extremely self loathing view on it. And that almost makes thing better than Tsubasa essentially lying and seeing a new perspective on her crime from someone other than her and especially rather than denying everything she’s saying, makes her confused and freaked out but rooting a new perspective in for what happened.

But even so Kayo gets defensive saying that even so he may view what she did in that way, he doesn’t have full context of the situation and why she did that. And once again Tsubasa agrees saying that is completely true, but from what he has gathered about the situation and his own ideals and beliefs makes him willing to forgive her, even if there are people out there who wouldn’t. And having her emotions actually be validated by someone instead of being denied in order to “help” her is completely new to her after how the rest of the students tried to comfort her after she attempted murder in chapter 1.

And even if Kayo still can’t forgive herself for what she did the fact that someone was willing to see from her perspective after she had done something like that, she just completely broke down for having been truly accepted by someone who was willing to understand her situation. And Tsubasa didn’t advance any more trying to use typical tactics to help her. No hugs, speeches about how you have to forgive herself, just sitting there while Kayo is letting all her emotions out like that, as he knows she is a person who has a lot of boundaries.

yeah so uhhh. Essentially my protagonist has a milgram esq backstory and stuff and this scene is heavily influenced by the themes of forgiveness in Milgram especially when it comes to murder. And Tsubasa’s reaction to her situation is very much how I wish to be treated when I feel like I’ve done something horrible. Not being said I should stop hating myself or I am actually a good person and was acting out. But having my situation empathised with and not denying everything I say, just looking at it from another perspective. I guess why even being from a fangan I’ll probably never make into an actual thing it just sticks out to me so much. As even if I haven’t straight up killed like Kayo did, it’s almost an expression of how I feel when I act out, or get angry, and can’t forgive myself for anything and projecting my personal suffering onto my characters and have them grow as a person and move on is very inspiring to me even if I’m the one writing it. And even if it’s a lot harder to get to that point irl than writing down as a concept

#Perfect atrophy #Not maintagging this with fanganronpa as it’s kind of a personal topic almost #And if I actually ever make it into a real thing this post would probably come to bite me in the back as it’s a big spoiler for chapter 4 #And for extra context kayo is the protagonist I wrote about not too long ago (note all of my fangan stuff is in the perfect atrophy tag) #And I haven’t posted about him yet but Tsubasa is kinda like the kyoko/chiaki of the game I guess but with a different vibe than those two #And essentially he’s the ultimate philosopher and is one of the main friends of the protagonist #And again feels so funny to talk about this like it’s a real scene and analysing my own characters #And wanting more and too see how the story goes even though I literally made it and know what happens and I’m the one to make it #But even so my fangan and my fangan ocs are really special to me and in a way having my struggles projected onto the characters #Makes me feel better about my myself in real life and it’s why I’ve gotten so attached to the project #Even though I am incredibly bad at coding/it stuff so even if I wanted to make it a reality it’ll be really hard #But I’ll just see how it goes and how far I go into designing it

[eggmeralda]

just woke up from the best film I've ever watched in my life only to realise it was a dream

#IT DOESN'T EXIST. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION #is there an animated film about like these 6 rats or something escaping from this guy but there's all these themes that they go through #and the final theme is death bc one of them gets impaled by a rose thorn and it's like FUCK bc they were almost gonna get away #so there's this old guy who's a bit of a prick but he becomes nicer at the end but he's the one that dies #and these two girls one of them is like idk she's good at a lot of things and the other one is kind of a pushover #then three guys one of them is really pathetic one is kind of silly and one of them i guess is the Normal Main Character type #also there's humans going about their lives in the present but for some reason the rats' lives are set in like? early 20th century italy #and there's all these shots of like the italian scenery for some reason. idk why it's set there but it's a vibe #idk who the guy they're getting away from is or what he wanted with them but yeah #and bc they're rats or whatever type of rodent they were they would like hide in bushes and it would be really intense bc like #what if the guy can see them #and basically not to give any spoilers but then the old guy died and they wrote some quote on a bit of paper and drew a pic of him and stuc #it on the wall as tribute. and idk who's gonna see it bc I think they were amongst some plants at the bottom of like #one of those bench booths you get in restaurants or cafes. I have no idea #but then it ended with them walking up this hill into the sunset or something idek #with this like late 60s/early 70s big produced sweeping strings tambourines etc. banger playing over the credits #also my car was in it occasionally. and this guy I went to college with and never spoke to #and my best friend briefly #and earlier on I had another dream but idk if it was connected. but it was stan kyle kenny and cartman #but they got a job where my dad works in this park as like. toilet assistants. as in when someone went #to the toilet they'd open the door. that was the whole job #but one of the job requirements was they had to be beatles coded apparently #like that's what it said on the application. so they basically just reenacted the history of the beatles #while opening toilet doors #it was like 4 dreams in one but they were all somewhat connected. also the lining in my coat was so reflective it made a sound #and I was telling someone about my favourite chord progression idk what relevance that had but standard dream i guess #anyway. rodent storyline was going on as it did but at the end it became a film and suddenly I was there. watching it with my friend #and i was like ''god originally I would've given this a 4 maybe 3.5 on letterboxd but now it's getting a 5 + a ❤'' #ramble #oneiro

[studyblrattempt]

All this studying is starting to take a toll on my mental health I swear

#I study almost everyday now and I have more than two months left before the semester is over and I'm so tired of it #It's not even being lazy or wanting to do other stuff #Even though I of course would like to have more free time to do stuff I enjoy #But like at this point I have more or less accepted that I have to study because it's almost over #But I really feel like I've hit a limit in terms of quantity of information I'm able to memorize m #And it's like I'm not making any progress anymore and it feels like two months of studying won't change shit #Because two months may seem like a lot but we will be evaluated on what we learned through like 4 years or more of college #And I've really been such a mediocre student the whole time is it's like... What am I gonna change now.. Who the fuck do I think I am #to think I can get a good rank when everyone has been studying much better and harder than me all these years #Anyways just Sunday thoughts I guess lol #Studyblr

[knifegremliin]

on my hands and knees begging for my body to let me sleep. please. please. just let me fucking sleep what do you WANT FROM ME.

#🔪.text #i woke up. at 2 a-fucking-m #and i am not confident that i ever fell back asleep. #i have been waking up at 4-5 am almost every day for the past week. #why. #and for reference i am going to sleep at around 10-10:30. #which is. yes. very early. believe me i'd be staying up later if i could #if i had the energy #AND IF I COULD DO SO WITHOUT SACRIFICING FUCKING SLEEP #but clearly i can't fucking do that!!!! #even 10 isn't fucking early enough with how my body's been!!! #literally the only thing i can think of is around the same time this started is the same time i started going off one of my meds #so MAYBE it's related??? i don't know. #or it could be i'm just getting too hot. because i have woken up really sweaty every time. #but this time i tried using a lighter blanket (aka a sheet) and it was fucking worse!!! #and i was even hotter! #so i don't know what the fuck i'm supposed to do!! #because there's nothing i can do about the temp of the house because my mom will not allow it to go below 73 #and she's still turning the heat on at night #i guess i've never actually asked if we can drop the temp at night #but i just figure the answer will be no so. #maybe i'll just try to cover my vent at night #because it's just been way too warm for the heat to be on #ugh. #anyway lol. #i am. so tired.

[nattikay]

really just saw some commenters saying “the Sims 4 werewolves look too much like furries!! They should fix this by giving them wolf legs instead of human legs!!”

...like....ma’am....that would...that would make them more furry

#sims 4 #if there's one thing I've learned browsing reactions to this pack (no pun intended) #it's that no one has a proper grasp on what furries are #(...oh who am I kidding I already knew that to some degree) #i'll go ahead and say it again: furries are anthropomorphic animals aka animals with human characteristics #(and/or people who like the concept of such) #guess what werewolves are? yup. wolves with human characteristics #(or I guess humans with wolf characteristics. but whatever it's a human/wolf mix regardless) #the only way to make a werewolf NOT look like a furry would be to go the hairy human route #which as I posted the other day looses almost all the wolf-ness and therefore just don't read as much as ''werewolves'' to me #just hairy hangry dudes #apparently some people prefer that which. i mean whatever u do u but that's baffling to me lol #don't get me wrong I would be all for adding digi legs as an option (and tails!!!) #it just boggles my mind that people think that'd make them ''less furry'' lol #y'all clearly know diddly squat about furries we love digi legs here haha

[rottingcompost]

So the summer workers have started showing uo at work (generally 16 to 18 year olds) and one of them keeps looking at me intensly and im starting to think he's trying to figure out my age. Might ask him to guess since its really fun to hear what people think (I have legitimately gotten 15 to like 19 most of the time) and im always surprised that people think I look so young because personally I think I look pretty much the same age that I am (if not older sometimes) but idk it might be the dyed hair and wacky hairstyle and my height lol

#ramblings #legit when i worked at bk i was asked about what school i was going to and i had to break it to them that i hadnt been to school for 4 years #what the hell do i have to do to have people guess my actual age xD #last year when i was 23 i was once ID'd when buying monster at the grocery store. you have to be 16 to buy energy drinks. #i am always ID'd when buying alcohol as well vut that one is more understandable lol #once almost had my ID rejected because they thought it was fake until one of my friends helped me lol

[tiredeyes1975]

i havent rewatched evangelion 3.0+1.0 since it was released, but from what i recall, it has a few similarities with head…. or maybe it doesnt and ill do anything to connect my interests

in 3.0+1.0, shinji and gendo fight each other in nearly identical eva unit 01s. during their battle, they end up in different locations from the series/rebuilds, except it’s very obvious that these are sets (shinji’s unit 01 crashes through a plywood set wall of “misato’s room”, shinji’s unit 01 toppling buildings and landing on the backdrop)

when i watched head, all the fourth wall breaks made me think of evangelion… which sounds like a cringe statement i know.. but like when micky tore the backdrop paper or when the crew and camera could be seen, 3.0+1.0 was the first thing i thought of

i dont remember if there was anything else plot-wise that was similar (actually lets be real. what plot) but in a meta way, they’re driven by the creators’ desire to put their creation to rest. in 3.0+1.0, all the evangelions are finally gone from the universe of the film, but nge as a whole is completely over irl, and there will be no more movies or series or anything. at least i hope. and in head, the monkees literally all jump off the bridge; the film also acts as a subversion to the image of the monkees that was created for and by the series

OH i almost forgot. time loops duh. in 3.0+1.0 the loop ends but in head i guess it keeps going

#none of this is substantial btw i just wanted to put down my thoughts because i love both of these things #also kind of teared up looking for the 3.0+1.0 photos. maybe i SHOULD rewatch evangelion plus the rebuilds…. what if i rewatched the series #in the original english dub this time… seems fun #ALSO italicized titles because 1) its proper I GUESS and 2) i didnt want to confuse myself #also ALSO its almost 1 am i should sleep #head #<- tagging 4 myself to keep #hello everyone wait what if the monkees (tv) but an evangelion au im sorry ill go to sleep #no i wont. mike asuka peter rei davy shinji micky kaworu. my only reasoning is that im sleepy and i think its funny

[woundedheartwithin]

Kazama Kimichika: Kyojo Zero (2023)

#kimura takuya #kyojo #kyojo zero #my gifs #the only thing I did to these was crop them btw #neither are slowed down or altered at all #he really just stares at the other guy for a full five seconds #see this is what I’m talking about #he’s so comfortable with silence and it’s so unnerving #and he’s so intense #see if I were the other actor it would have taken so many takes #cuz I’d just break down lmfao #he’s so intense and like truly intimidating as this character #and he was in the other two as well #like the use of silence in this series is so good #I do love this scene tho because kazama’s so annoyed and disappointed and it’s almost comical #well shit I meant to queue this lmfao #it’s 4 am and I’m tired #can’t be helped #I’m not retyping these tags so here’s this set I guess #out of order #oh well

[blessedshortcake]

Pants update

#im ready to burn the house down #someone actually sedate me i spent 3 days 3 fucking days working on it #AND ITS STILL. OFF. COLOUR. IM RUNNING OUT OF DYE #I BOUT 13 THIRTEEEEEEEN FUCKING BATCHES #OF DYE #AND IM RUNNING #OUT #DO YOU KNOW #HOW MUCH #THAT IS #ive cried about. 8 times the past 4 hours #i. i csnt. i cant fucking. i cant. take this shit. how. why. why. why how and whyyyyy #ive had more caffeine than what should be humanly possible and my ears are ringing like i just got flashbanged #i really really badly need a hug or at least Any human contact ive been locked in here Alone since friday #like to Speak to someone or or i dont fucking know ill take ANYTHING at this point #i think i am losing it like i thought there was nothing beyond where i was before but i guess i was wrong /lh #how do you make friends these days i Need more people to talk to i have 2 online friends i talk to almost every day #and that is it. i have Occasional friends whom i still love but i think being stir crazy is partially from my ass having no one to #talk to. idk tho im still just losing it rn so i am literally just rambling 😭 help

[baltears]

i doubt this observation is really catching anything that dire but it keeps coming up in my brain that christina is actually kind of more similar to s1 william than she is to s1 dolores

#1) interested in escapism through stories #2) decidedly not interested in the 'darkness sex & violence' angle that most people like but is interested in adventure & excitement #3) living kind of a small middling life in which she tells herself she's content but obviously wants something more #4) everybody already noticed this but the shoe moment was a direct parallel to william bc dolores was never given a choice like that #5) asshole superior at work who's trying to dog her about being more exciting and giving people what they want (like logan) #idk like there are obviously a ton of similarities and references to dolores also #notably the 'girl and her father' narrative the repeated waking up shot and her starting to notice #elements of unreality or strangeness in her world that others appear not to see or think nothing of #and obviously the presence of teddy #but the references to william are just impossible to ignore. they feel very intentional #if i had to guess at who is 'in there' i would almost want to say she's somehow a blend of both of them #this is just spitballing though like im sure im wrong. but i am very very curious to see what her deal does turn out to be #westworld #westworld spoilers #westworld s4

[debbiechanclub]

After I've been fixating on someone new for a bit I always get curious about their sign and they almost always end up being a scorpio or a fellow earth sign

#guess what kyle is #I am a triple earth and a double virgo btw #I used to think it was boring but you know what #the universe said this bitch gonna be consistent #3 almost 4 am thoughts k bye

[ofgentleresolve]

guess who...instead of doing drafts ended up continuing the monster of a fanfic for their ocs?

#that would be truly wonderful ( ooc. ) #and guess who just wrote out all the fluffy parts and now has to write PAIN next 😭😭😭 #it's me!!! i accidentally started?? writing like a series of drabbles of moments of patrick's story in his thg verse :'D #( even though i still need to write out his canon story too....that's next on the list hopefully ) #i thought it was going to quick and easy but apparently he has a lot to say #it's almost 5K words and that's just one third of the whole thing.... #anyways now i'm really invested so i know i'm gonna try to finish it up this week.... #i was going to make another hc post about patrick's thg verse #....but what if i just finished the whole thing and have u discover 4 urself his story <3 #you're really not going like what happens to uh felicity there 😬 #hahaha i don't like this but i MUST FINISH IT..... #still!! will try to do some writing things and messages #tomorrow!! bc i am tired <3

[cinematicnomad]

so my great uncle passed away earlier this year and in his will he specified that he wanted everyone who showed up to the funeral to get together, drink from his wine, and pick out 2–3 pieces of art from his collection each.

the art was officially delivered today!! and i am ONCE AGAIN very thrown by how big the third piece is 😅 my aunt and mom convinced me while i was v drunk to put my name on it but like...i’m v grateful they convinced me to pick it bc i love it <333 

#kat liveblogs her life #kat's studio #it wasn't on purpose but i wound up picking the 3 pieces all by the same artist #also after i put my name on the big piece i really waffled on if i was serious once i sobered up #and then there was some confusion as to whether or not i got it #(my sister stayed the longest and she said she thought i didn't) #(my aunt sent me the certificates for authenticity for the other 2 but not the big one) #(but then the price of delivery was almost double what other people's were so we were like ... is that bc of distance or weight) #so i literally didn't know if i was getting this piece until TODAY when the guys showed up to deliver them #and by today i LITERALLY mean the MOMENT the piece was delivered bc when i first answered my door there was only 1 guy #and he had the 4 small pieces (my brother's art was also delivered to me) and i didn't see anyone else #so i was like 'well i guess that answers that question!!' and then JUST as i was about to close the door the second guy appeared #anyway i really love this artwork and i am obsessed with this artist #and also i just?? love that i have this piece of my great uncle's love

[kurp-stuff]

.

#i think something collapsed on the electric lines in my street. i heard a weird smthg falling then snake like electric noise at idk 1 or 2am #i checked my appartement and there was nothing wrong. electricity was working and all #and now (4 am) it isnt anymore. and i heard some guys with a vehicule discuss and do stuff in the street #anyway...all that to say.....AGAIN ?????? Cause YEAH that already happened a few months ago. not even 6 months ago ??? and lasted until lik #1pm #i checked it was in mid november #anyway the guys moved their truck. their not in front of my place anymore but the electricity isnt back. tho i think i can hear them farthe #in the street. I hope it just doesnt last until the afternoon this time #i think the weirdest part is that i specifically remember getting salmon out of the freezer that day in november to eat at noon #which is not something i do that often cause eating fresh fish i freezed is something i try to scatter in time so that it would be #occasional treats (also i am poor). BUT GUESS WHAT I JUST DID YESTERDAY BEFORE GOING TO BED. i took out trout out of the freezer for noon 😭 #like it's almost the same fucking fish fr #i hope i dont have to wait after 12pm to cook it like last time 🤡 #(actually if i remember last time i even had to go buy a sandwich at the nearest convenience store and the electricity only came back at 3p #and not 1 like a previously said) #anyways gonna try to preserve some phone battery and sleep 🥴) #good night tristate area #personal