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nighttimepixels · 3 years

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TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

#night answers #night plays ME #(yes that's a purposeful pun lol)#((i sure have played myself by starting this series its so good aksdjflskjfd))

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bullseyegames · 4 years

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APPRECIATION POST

My lord y’all don’t know how much I’ve cried in the past 24 hours because of this. Way too many of you tagged me in your appreciation posts despite the fact that all I do is make OC’s and RP, so we gonna start by appreciating y’all.

@dorsey-doran-thewanderingcat, I have more fun RPing with you than anyone else! Dorsey is so near and dear to me and Traven’s hearts and I don’t even want to think of what would have become of Traven if I hadn’t started taking with you! Your art makes me squeal and your writing makes me scream (with joy and panic depending on the rp).

@snakeryy, MY LOVE! Your OC Grinderex is one of my favorites and was the first OC that I ever shipped one of my own with. You are always so much fun to talk to and your art is just *chefs kiss*. The world is not ready for when we finally RP Grinderex and Euphrasia together.

@storyweaverofgondor, one of my ‘heart squad’ as I call them. Everytime I post I can always count of you being one of the firsts to like and reblog and that just makes me so happy! Your content is wonderful and I just... I love you so much I can’t. ❤️

@bombilurina, another member of the heart squad! Your Skimbleshanks art is amazing (it’s my phone background) and I am desperate to RP with any and all of your amazing OC’s (I’m addicted to Rp, it isn’t healthy but it sure as hell is fun). ❤️

@queencurlycrown, MY QUEEN! To start, Jubilee is an angel and we stand. You and Dorsey have been my primary RP go to’s and you both have made me feel so special! I’m proud to be your brother and I hope we will RP for a long time! (You me and Dorsey gotta do a three way RP again that was such a party!)

@amethyst-labyrinth, I AM ADDICTED TO DETECTIVE BUSTOPHER JONES! I blame it on a childhood love of mystery’s and crime tv shows. Regardless, your headcannons and writing is wonderful and has inspired many an OC on my end! Keep up the amazing work and I will continue to watch your blog for wonderful content everyday!

@uppastthejelliclemoon, YOU MARVELOUS GENIUS YOU! I would like to take this moment to admit that I’ve been sending you prompts for months on anon (cause anxiety) and the misto dying by a dog prompt? Yeaaaah that was me. Your writing is insanely good and I am addicted to your headcannons and just content in general. Also RPing with you is so much fun I have around 10 OC’s I want to see you work with.

@terpsichorian, HEART SQUAD! Thank you for starting the picrew human AU thing, I am addicted and I never want to stop. You have amazing content and I love seeing your ramblings on my feed! As I’ve said before for many others, I NEED TO RP WITH YOU!!!!! ❤️

@soh-da-meatball, GODDESS OF THE ARTS! Your artwork makes me want to cry like the untalented mess I am. Your drawings are beautiful and when you told me you were going to draw one of my ideas I startled my roommate with how loudly I screamed. I love your work and I am an addict and constantly need more so I hope you continue!

@kineticjellyfish, you are going to give me a heartattack one of these days I swear. You writing is wonderful and reforged brotherhood was one to the best binges I’ve had in a while! On the Brink is wonderful too, BUT IF YOU KEEP POSTING ABOUT HOW CHAPTER 8 IS WORSE THEN CHAPTER 5 I WILL FLIP!!!! Love you, please don’t hurt my babies. ;-;

Ok now that we’ve done all the people who tagged me in their own posts, Imma throw some others in!

@incorrectcats, MY TUMBLR MOM! As one of the first people to like and show interest in my headcannons and OC’s I would like to thank you from the bottom to my heart. Your incorrect quotes make me die from laughter and you are so wonderful and I love you mom. ;-;

@theimpossiblescheme last member of the heart squad! Thank you for supporting the weird shit I do so much, you are an amazing human being and I would love to talk to you more! ❤️

@srslyarts, the first person I ever commissioned artwork from! Thank you for bringing Euphrasia to life, you are and amazing artist and the moment I save up enough you will be getting another email. >:3

@ambardoodles, your artwork gives me life!!! You are such a talented artist and your work makes me so happy whenever it pops up on my feed! You are amazing, everything you do is amazing, keep up the wonderful work!

@chocolama-stuff, you are a mad lad. You art is just.. it’s so good???? And I love it so much???? And I cry whenever I look at your content cause it’s so beautiful and I justnejabanajbehejdj. ;-;

Ok this post is getting really long but just know that I love all of you!!! The cats fandom has been so tolerant of the weird shit I post and I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart! KEEP BEING WONDERFUL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!

#cats the musical #appreciation post #❤️❤️❤️

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gladiatortale · 2 years

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I posted 1,397 times in 2021

12 posts created (1%)

1385 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 115.4 posts.

I added 2,315 tags in 2021

#yuri!!! on ice - 528 posts

#victor nikiforov - 384 posts

#yuuri katsuki - 371 posts

#fruits basket - 166 posts

#lol - 161 posts

#yuri plisetsky - 158 posts

#furuba - 155 posts

#bungou stray dogs - 154 posts

#bsd - 120 posts

#kyo sohma - 118 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#canon: *a blossoming friendship between two people who are very sparing in the number of people they care about (that has the potential for

My Top Posts in 2021

BACK AT IT AGAIN!!!🍎🐱🍊🐭🍋🐶🍇🐯🍏🐮

15 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 23:40:41 GMT

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS!!!!

17 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 03:59:40 GMT

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS!

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019 The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

See the full post

30 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 03:46:52 GMT

Dazai smiles slowly, eyes slowly starting to glint red under the moonlight. "You see—there's a new woman in my life," Dazai muses, taking another drag. "For almost a year now." He taps off some of the excess ash, crushing it under foot.

"And she has a bone to pick with you."

Dazai's laugh has no mirth—it doesn't even sound human.

And then Dazai calls out the name, softly, under his breath—and Tachihara feels the bottom fall out of his stomach.

"Turn around, Michizou."

Tachihara stares at the ground, the pools of golden light that shouldn't be there, not in the middle of the night. "No," he croaks, all of the blood draining from his face, "that—that doesn't make any sense."

"You aren't even going to look her in the face and tell her you're sorry?" Dazai tilts his head.

Tachihara turns around, hands shaking, and when he sees the figure behind Dazai, he falls to his knees—a mockery of the prayers he was offering before.

But now, he isn't lifting his hands to God.

He's staring into the eyes of death.

Death is unforgiving.

‘Shinigami’ Chapter 7, by CataclysmicEvent.

HOOOOOOO MAN. This FUCKING fic! This F U C K I N G art! HOLY HELL!! I’m S P E E C H L E S S.

Sometimes the universe lines up *just* right and you are lucky enough to have the money for a commission, have the perfect idea for one, and have your fave artist open her commissions all the same time.

*chef’s kiss to the universe rn*

THANK YOU to the stunning @idancewiththefairies for pointing me in the direction of this GORGEOUS fic!

To the BRILLIANT @cataclysmicevent2019 for bringing this PHENOMENAL fic to life. It’s not even finished yet and I am already REELING!

And thank you to the endlessly talented IronyStrikes for taking on the commission! It has exceeded all my expectations, I’m OBSESSED! I can’t stop staring at it!

Do yourselves a favor, go read ‘Shinigami’ RIGHT NOW, and everything else that CataclysmicEvent has written!

Her stories will smash your heart into a million pieces and then put them back together again – ‘Always Yours’ put me in a FUCKING COMA, and the ‘Everything or Nothing’ Verse is gonna be the DEATH OF ME!

44 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 21:30:18 GMT

49 notes • Posted 2021-07-12 05:22:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #none of this is even remotely surprising...#'oOoOoOHH my top tag is yuri!!! on ice'#S H O C K #i do however say 'lol' more than i thought #lol #also #gonna for sure do another 'hyperfixations year in review' again #that was really fun last year

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justamusicalobsessedkid · 7 years

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The Cronch ~ A Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction

(Quick note before we start:

@dearevanhansenheadcanons hey! I was the anon who submitted that headcanon [i had to use anon cause this isn't my main blog] about Jared inventing a new edible bath bomb at Lush and I actually wrote an entire story on it!! Thus, The CRONCH ~ a Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction was created. Anyway, hope you give this a quick look. Thanks!!!)

The CRONCH

Jared Kleinman was a strange boy. Strange, yes, but no one could deny the fact that he was intelligent in a way, particularly in anything technology related. In his own words: "I've got skills, son." However, Jared wasn't limited to his skills in the digital world. No one ever expected the young man to have a talent for innovation, as well.

Evan Hansen stood in the midst of shelves filled with bath bombs at Lush, waiting for his friend to finally finish his shift for the day. "What time do you even end? Mom said for me to be with you by six-thirty. " "I get out of this perfume-scented hell hole at six. Why does your mom even want you to hang out with me?" Came the reply from Jared, restocking a shelf full of green and blue bath bombs. Evan shrugged. "Because you're my friend, aren't you? I mean, you did tell me after we made up when the whole Connor thing was over that I wasn't just a family-friend anymore. Also my mom's taking the night shift again and she doesn't want me to be lonely so I gotta stay the night over at your place, now." "Fine then." Jared said, just as he finished placing all the small spherical bath bombs unto the shelf, leaving one to slip into his jacket pocket. Evan's eyes widened. "You steal bath bombs?" He half-screeched. Jared hurriedly made a 'shush' sign at the other boy and turned his head towards the room behind the main shop, checking to see if his boss was anywhere around. He breathed a sigh of relief upon not seeing George, his boss, anywhere in earshot. He was far out the back of the shop, taking a phone call. Jared glared at Evan, fixing his glasses momentarily. "Shut up, will you? If Cranky Old George finds out, I'm out the door." He hissed. "I save them for myself and sometimes even my mom likes them. Besides," the sarcastic boy added half jokingly, "they almost look good enough to eat." Evan stammered, staring at the his sneakers. "S-sorry. But I-I-I mean, why don't you just buy them?" "Says the guy who only paid me twenty bucks to make fake emails." Jared shot back. "Point taken." The clock struck five-fifty. Jared brushed the bath bomb dust off on his jeans. "Stay there, I'll just go out back and see if I still have something to do. If I don't, the old one'll let me go early." Evan nodded, turning to examine the Lush products that filled the entire shop.

Within minutes, he heard loud, angry talking coming from the back room. He gulped nervously, even considering just getting out of the shop and going to the Kleinman residence on his own, just when Jared came right out of the back room. He had a slightly worried expression on his face as he took off the uniform all Lush employees wore, leaving it in a messy heap on the counter. "So," he said. "good news is I'm getting let off early today. Bad news—a customer called, complaining to Cranky Old George about me." Evan's eyes widened. "What did they say?" Jared snorted, speaking in a high-pitched voice that Evan knew he used when imitating elderly women while making flamboyant gestures. "'Hello, you know that laddie who works in your shop? The one who's name tag says his name is Jared Kleinman? Well, you see, son, when I asked that young man for one of those water bombs of yours with hearts in them the lad laughed at me and asked if I was going to use it in the hot tub along with my hubby, as he—oh, what did that boy say, again? Ah, yes—sticks his di--'” "Okay let's stop there Jared." Evan said, his face flushing bright pink. "First of all," he said, in horror. "you made 'those' jokes to a customer?" Jared rolled his eyes. "Yes, brilliant observation from my small reenactment, Hansen. Do I really still need to repeat everything in that old lady voice to confirm for you? And don't call them 'those' jokes, they're my jokes and frankly, I'm quite proud of them." Evan sighed. It was very typical for Jared to be this way, but it did tend to get inconvenient from time to time. "So what did your boss say?" Jared scrunched his eyebrows, obviously thinking about what George had told—or more accurately, yelled at—him. "Something about me having to do extra work or else he'll fire me by next week. I gotta think of a new idea for a bath bomb in three days or something like that." "You what?" Evan rambled, his eyes as wide as plates. "That's incredibly pressuring Jared, you know you could come up with a bad idea or not even come up with anything at all and then you'll lose your job." "I know," The other boy mumbled. "And this job is giving me my car insurance money. Can't lose that now." The two reached the Kleinman household, with Evan in a state of mid-panic and Jared in worry for the future of his car insurance. Mrs. Kleinman smiled at Evan the moment he stepped into the door with Jared. "Hi Evan, dear. Your mom called, said you're supposed to stay here for the night." Evan nodded just as he and Jared began ascending up the stairs that led to the house's second floor. The worried boy dropped his bag on Jared's bed, pacing around the room nervously. "What are you gonna do? You have, like, three days to just suddenly come up with some brilliant idea or you'll get the boot." "Calm yourself, Hansen. I'll think of something sooner or later." Jared replied.

However, it wasn't until during dinner when Jared finally got a good idea, which—strangely—came to him mid-sip of a glass of Kool-Aid. His eyes widened as he jumped up from his seat so quickly he nearly knocked his glasses off his face. Evan looked at him in concern. "Jared, what are you—?" "Mom, do we still have Kool Aid?" Mrs. Kleinman looked confused. "Yes, why?" She received no answer from Jared, instead the boy rushed into the kitchen, grabbing an unused bowl from the side of the table. Mrs. Kleinman looked at Evan, who looked as equally perplexed. "Excuse him," she chuckled, tilting her head to try and catch a glance at what her son was up to in the kitchen. "Jared really is rather... Odd." Evan managed a small smile. "I know." Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Jared was acting completely on impulse. He pushed the thick-framed square glasses that framed his eyes up his face, flinging open the doors to the Kleinmans' small pantry. His eyes scanned the shelves packed with bags and boxes, reaching out every once in a while to rapidly grab an item from inside. Once he decided he had everything, he set to work. Eventually, Evan popped his head into the kitchen, checking on Jared. "Your mom's wondering what you're up to." He said, watching Jared press a sand-like mixture into spherical molds. Jared shook his head in reply, tossing his head to the side for a moment in an attempt to brush away the few strands of hair that fell on his face without using his hands, still busy packing his creation. When he had finished, he tossed the bowl and the spoon he used into the sink and flashed a mischievous grin up at Evan, who had been watching his friend the entire time. "What did you just—?" Jared chuckled excitedly. "Patience, Hansen. You'll see."

The next day, Jared Kleinman stood in the back room of Lush, facing his boss a little too confidently. He brought a paper bag with him, filled with the little things he had spent around an hour making and a water jug. Jared stuck one hand into the bag, gripping around for one of the spherical bath bombs he had made. He beamed at George, who had began scrutinizing the young boy the minute he stepped into the shop on that day. "May I present to you, Sir, my creation—a revolutionary breakthrough that will surely make our sales skyrocket." He said enthusiastically, holding the bath bomb in front of George. The older man laughed, almost in pity. "A bath bomb? Mr. Kleinman, Lush has plenty of those. I simply don't see how this'll be able to be 'a revolutionary breakthrough.'" Jared laughed cockily, to George's annoyance. "Sir, you don't see how my bath bomb can can be insanely cool," He paused, chuckling, before adding "much like me." under his breath. Jared raised the red bath bomb to his mouth, grinning at George. "You have to taste it." He said, before taking a huge bite out of the bath bomb. If Jared hadn't caught George's attention earlier, he certainly had now. "Edible." He chuckled, offering a new bath bomb to George. "They're edible." George sniffed the bath bomb tentatively, before taking a small bite out of it. It tasted wonderful, not to mention the sound it made when bitten into it was loud, noisy... Just like biting into a wafer bar but much louder. Just like crunching on trail mix, but instead of just a soft crunch, the sound was more of a loud cronch. George was amazed. He had never seen or tasted anything like such in his life. "What—what is it made of?" Jared smirked, seeing the amazement on his boss' face. "Baking soda, corn starch, powdered sugar, and critic acid for the base." He said, taking another bite of his bath bomb. "I added Kool Aid in different flavors to give it that color and the way it tastes. Finished with rock fizz candy and edible glitter, too." Jared placed the water jug on the desk and uncapped it. "Oh, and did I mention—" he said, dropping another bath bomb into the water, watching as it slowly dissolved just like a normal bath bomb would. "You can also make a drink out of them" Jared concluded, taking a sip out of the now purple colored drink. George shook his head in bewilderment. "Mr. Kleinman," he started, in pure disbelief. "This is... Amazing. You have made such a wonderful contribution to our store. I will pitch your edible bath bombs as an idea—with all credits to you, of course—and hopefully in a month or two we'll see your bath bombs soon lining one of our shelves." He smiled up at his employee, reaching out to shake Jared's hand. "I really cannot believe you created this... Figured everything out all by yourself." "Well," Jared allowed himself to admit. "I still haven't decided on what to name it. I was thinking to just sell the pink ones and name them Kinky Pinks but I felt am unavoidable shame for the other flavors that customers might also want to try." Luckily for him, though, George had it all figured out. "Not a problem, Mr. Kleinman. I have a name that might just be fitting for your product...”

A month and a half passed. Lush was booming with new customers. On a display in the middle of the store, bath bombs in every color stood out from the rest, accompanied with a sign that read: "NEW!! the CRONCH: an edible bath bomb experience, brought to you by Lush, concept developed by our very own employee— Jared Kleinman" To this day, Jared works at Lush, dashing around the store to attend to customers. A certain proud habit of his that developed over the days was that while assisting people, Jared would make his way over to the Cronch's shelf and grab a bath bomb from it, taking a huge bite of it in front of the customers, who would look at him with expressions of disbelief and amazement. This certain effective 'marketing strategy' (as George called it) did cause Jared to be the victim of many jokes and pranks, though. A notable prank his coworkers pulled on him was done during April Fools, when they decided to switch up bath bomb displays without informing Jared—placing his edible bath bombs on a different shelf and actual bath bombs on the one his product used to rest on. Sure enough, Jared didn't notice the switch and just as he was entertaining a customer, he took a huge bite out of a real bath bomb as his coworkers—looking on earnestly from the counter—all burst out laughing. He couldn't deny the fact that he may have enjoyed the actual bath bomb, however. Even though he wouldn't quite admit it to many.

On a particularly busy day at Lush, Evan dropped by to check on his friend again. He smiled at Jared, who shot him a quick smirk as he took a bite out of another edible bath bomb. "Loving the cronch, Jared?" He asked jokingly. Jared grinned mischievously, winking. "You gotta love that cronch."

(Small note: the recipe for the edible bath bombs came from my amazing friend-- who can literally search for, and successfully find, anything on the internet. You know who you are. Thanks, buddy. Sincerely, me, Aimy)

#jared eats bathbombs #dear evan hansen #deh #og fanfiction #the cronch fanfiction #dear evan hansen fanfiction #jared kleinman #sorry lol this was kinda rushed but hey it still turned out pretty nice #lov the cronch

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