#given it was many many many years ago

[ra-vio]

I'm finally replaying Spirit Tracks

#loz #legend of zelda #spirit tracks #toon link #toon zelda #princess zelda #I think the last time I FINISHED spirit tracks was in 2013 which is almost 10 years ago #i'm replaying it now in hopes of finishing it again. it is literally link's first day holding a sword #im already thinking of the option of whether he stays an engineer or becomes a knight #boy trained to be an engineer. he wanted to drive trains. why would i take that from him #but also why not both #now that i think of it alfonzo could have given him basic sword training #you ever think of how link always leaves after his adventure cause his life is so different now #so many of them just leave the country. #well if this one leaves the country guess what he can take on his way out? #but also they give you the option of not knowing what to choose #and giving me that option while I was in high school? so true lmao

[makerofmadness]

So uh. (Man I need to get back into AAF-)

#andy's apple farm #andy the apple #spooky's jumpscare mansion #sjsm bad ending #Sjsm spoilers #<- tbh I'm not sure if tagging “spoilers” is even like. Appropriate given this game came out like years ago but it just. #It just kinda feels right to me to tag that since idk how many people who follow me have played or watched playthroughs of the game #Sjsm protagonist #specimen 14 #<- I realize that's the tag people use for the player character. Idk if it's official or not but. You know what it's cool so-

[venacoeurva]

Considering how I may be doing comms again more consistently this year, especially, I've been on a streak of no bad experiences with clients since about 2019. Nobody's gotten parasocial because they gave me money for a service in years, let's keep it up boys!!!

#vena vents #not art #I did have some ''i bought a comm from you we're besties nowwwww'' type people a few years ago #needless to say they are not in contact with me and I do not take more commissions from them <3 #would love a consistent job but I think given the recession and also my physical limitations taking most jobs out of the possibilities it's #gonna be a year of taking a lot of comms #I just hope it's not a repeat of 2019 where I took so many I lost all passion for art and injured my entire arm from drawing so much #and was in a depressive spiral from it #at least 2020 let me just sit there and get back to drawing for fun. i guess

[hooved]

i dunno if this is like weird advice to give, but for anyone who is or has a partner/friend/etc. who's interested in a threesome (or more), you gotta make sure that everyone involved is emotionally ready for that. if you or someone else might get jealous, then just don't do it. don't lie and say you're ready just because you wanna make your partner happy, or because of peer pressure, or even just because you're attracted to someone involved, etc., if you're having any doubts at all then just say so. this is something you need to discuss thoroughly beforehand. jealousy or any other sort of emotional discomfort during group sex WILL negatively affect your relationship(s) with whoever's involved. if sex is an experience that's very important and personal to you and you're not ready to share that with someone other than your partner(s) then there's no shame in turning it down. a good partner wouldn't be upset by you setting boundaries. your comfort is more important than the opportunity to have a threesome

#sorry if this is too personal/tmi or whatever but i was just thinking about one of my exes and like #i asked her many times beforehand if she was okay with it. i really really wanted to make sure she was comfortable. she told me she was #but it still made her jealous and that did irreparable damage to our relationship. i could tell pretty quickly that it was a mistake #and yeah we don't talk anymore for mostly unrelated reasons (i unfortunately learned she wasn't a great person) but i still regret that #i could see after we broke up (which was mutual because we were....not as compatible as we thought. as mentioned above) #that she was always going out of her comfort zone to try to make me happy. and i genuinely feel bad about that. i would never ask for that #i wouldn't have been upset if she told me she wasn't sure about it because i don't wanna put anyone in an uncomfortable situation like that #anyway this was like. 9 or so years ago at this point. i still wanna apologize to her but i feel like it'd be weird to bring up y'know #but yeah i just want ppl to know this kinda stuff is avoidable if you have a truly honest discussion beforehand #and if there's any doubt at all then it's best to just not go through with it because your feelings could change at any moment tbh #but if you're all emotionally prepared then threesomes can be great ! exhausting but that's a given lmao

[pagesofkenna]

bunch of people in the notes of Unity update posts saying 'this is only kind of a win, because we should still never trust Unity again' missing the point, which is of course we never trust Unity again. there was basically nothing they could do to earn developer's trust back at all, since long before the fee announcement. the question was would indie devs have to delete all their existing games and projects to getting slapped with a random fine, and the answer is no they don't. that's a win. now we continue to never touch Unity again

#like of course we don't trust unity. that wasn't in the cards #that makes me so sad because i remember learning about unity when i was looking into game dev like. fifteen years ago? #and it sounded so exciting and i always thought that eventually i'd learn how the engine worked and make some small games #and i never did but i always felt bad about not pursuing that given how accessible it was #and how many popular indie titles i started to see using it #and now. this. alas

[gonkaccino]

Finally, at level 58, having done every single available thing on the map, Aloy has heard the name "Elisabet Sobeck" for the very first time. And I've still got 4 whole days left! I might actually have some time left over to play more Pacific Drive after getting every steam cheevo before the HFW port comes out!

#horizon series #hzd #horizon zero dawn #frozen wilds was a lot shorter than I remember #and no I'm not changing armor ever sparkworker looks the best #yes this means I took on multiple daemonic fireclaws with no bonuses #if they wanted me to wear good armor they wouldn't have waited until HFW to implement transmog #UH NG+ is going to be a wild ride I can feel it #maybe not as wild as it was on PS4 all those years ago since I know how to play now #but I'm only putting on shieldweaver if I really really have to #just like how I'm only using bows instead of ice bomb + rattler combo when I have to #if guerilla wanted me to use bows they wouldn't have given me so many metal vessels

[ereborne]

Snippet from 'lay-on-the-floor-and-scream dot excel' please ❤❤❤

As you might have guessed from the title, this is my 'good data management solves the Clone Wars' AU! Work had me pretty agitated when I put it together, so it's more canon-divergent than originally intended, but hopefully it still holds up.

I started off thinking that the clones, coming from Kamino, would be pretty used to keeping extensive documentation on themselves/each other.  Multiple sets of books, even—the sanitized ones they show the longnecks, the informal tracking of things nobody else cares about, the multiply-encrypted ones with the honest data about how their siblings are doing—as automated and redundant as possible, and while yeah it would be difficult to maintain during wartime, they are 1) the best-trained military minds and logisticians in existence and 2) absolutely not going to pay less attention to their siblings when they’re in more danger. 

For this fic also I focused in on a worldbuilding thing that I actually thought was true a million years ago before I’d ever gotten into any Star Wars nonsense, which is that Lightside users are a sort of filtering system for the Force.  That the Dark was an agent or consequence of some sort of metaphysical entropy—the constant descriptions of it as cold and oppressive really reinforced that one for me—and Force-sensitives would dedicate themselves to opposing it on behalf of the universe.  So they’d be agents and sources of the Light, not only directly combating Darksiders (and more prosaically evil people) but also through meditation (and to some degree intrinsic aura) functioning as something like metaphysical space-heaters.  I was thinking of them kinda through a D&D lens, like galactic paladin-monks.  It made sense to me. 

Under this system, then, not only would things feel cold and depressing around a Sith, but the world would be warmer and more comforting around a Jedi.  To, say, a statistically significant degree.  You see where I’m going with this—what if there was a sweet little chart that proved, mathematically and objectively, that puppy piles around the Jedi general improve the quality of life/life expectancy of everyone involved? 

Such a chart could also indicate a general getting closer to a Fall (Krell more cleanly than Anakin, since Anakin’s baseline will be skewed after the Tusken massacre, and conflated by Obi-Wan and Ahsoka’s recurring presences) or various other ongoing issues in a battalion (Corrie Guard, my beloveds) but we have to start by convincing our ascetic galactic paladin-monks of the efficacy of wartime cuddles. 

Cody hums faintly, and still does not continue.  Obi-Wan has years of practice and does not need the Force to tell him to be patient, that if he pushes Cody now he might miss his chance to hear something important.  The Force tells him anyway.  “General.”  Cody begins again.  “You know the kark you make up so you don’t have to directly answer a direct question?”  Obi-Wan narrows his eyes.  This conversation could be about many things.  The Force tells him yes.  It is unhelpful.  It seems he takes too long to answer, and Cody continues on, delivering further defamatory accusations in his polite semi-formal voice.  “As when you refuse mandatory post-mission checkups, and Helix hunts you down and asks if whatever put the holes in your robes put any matching holes in you, and instead of telling him what he certainly knows, you spin a charming tale about some other poor sap who possibly got shot but is probably fine regardless, no need for any medics who may or may not exist to get involved?” The Force says yes.  Obi-Wan does not roll his eyes, because he is a master of the jedi order and also of himself.  “I’m familiar with the rhetorical construction of a hypothetical situation, yes.”  He replies primly.  “Good.  I’d like to discuss a situation with you, sir, with the understanding that everything I describe is purely hypothetical.”

(also as you can see this is a very fun Cody for me to write, because he and all the rest of the 212th have gone their entire wartime experience with Obi-Wan layering peace/comfort/reassurance over them like a mantle, so he’s a lot more comfortable speaking his mind and I get to lean into my favorite codywan bitch4bitch relationship dynamic from the jump)

#asks #zahnie #fun fact when I started this fic (over a year ago) I was in the middle of a supremely awkward transition period at my new job #and I did actually have a layonthefloorandscream.xlsx file that I was using in a desperate attempt to map my new responsibilities #the whole college was in flux and no one knew who was supposed to be doing which of the many tasks that needed to be done #and no one ever knew either who the latest person to do any given thing was so that they could train the next #and we kept finding out the day after something was due that no one had done it at all #and indeed eventually the day did come that I lay on the floor and scream but then I got up again and made a chart about it #and then the weekend after I made a fic about it! #the excel file still exists btw. things have improved so it's been renamed to sitonthestairsandrant but it's the same file #there's a column now to track how likely someone is to solve their own problems if I just trick them into using me as a rubber duck for it #it's a pretty promising metric. ultimately very encouraging for everyone involved

[ireallydolikeyou2]

Hate listening to other people's music links on here, Simply bc Sometimes I Actuallyy like them

#i tend to rly only post songs that i enjoyed approx. 4-6+ years ago... #(also viewing one too many good posts in a row means that i gotta go) #guess u could say She loves to gatekeep + deny herself of anyy singular ounce/chance of pleasure/happiness at any (& all) given moment(s) - #of time #Sorryyyy

[pearlcaddy]

I’m at that stage of homesickness where I came across one of those kitschy LA tourist shirts at TK Maxx and almost burst into tears.

#normally I roll my eyes at them because they don’t make any sense for sale in scotland #but alas—this is my current emotional state #a decade ago I would have given anything to leave la #and now after many years in the uk under the hostile environment away from my found family i’m crying over the most nonsense shirt #I hate it here #I just want to go home #I just want to hang out with people who understand me #I just want to have the legal right to live where I am and not have to think about fucking visas #i’m so tired #god it’s very embarrassing that a shirt is making me this emotional—this shirt is deeply hideous #ugly shirt: *exists* me: *full-blown existential crisis* #pearlcaddy.txt

[prismatoxic]

bpd is super cool and fun bc if i am attached to someone and they like someone else more than me, i either:

resent the person i have never met (bc they're better than me)

resent the person i am attached to (bc they don't like me more)

OR

resent myself (for not being good enough)

and it usually happens bc the other person has a fucking romantic interest in the person they "like more". fam i do not even want that with you why am i acting like it's a competition

it also happens with best friends though. like. why does my little pea brain think i need to be the ~best friend~ of everyone i latch onto like a parasitic worm. that's too many people i can't be a best friend every time

and on one memorable occasion, i felt it about a FUCKING CAT, which is all new levels of pathetic (me and the cat became friends though)

#yes the cat was spunky and yes i felt very bad about it #i have been this way my entire life and only recently was i given the language to identify it #like i can point at so many relationships and say “yeah i was fucked up about it bc they had someone they were closer to” #the bpd urge to be everyone's most important person #it gets worse the more i care about someone and is the most violently upsetting with FPs #i do not know if i have one of those rn but some past/current? ones are inspiring The Feeling #and this is not anyone's fault. this is not something that can be Fixed in any healthy way #it is something for me to figure out myself #so if you think this is about you: please don't feel bad #please do not contort yourself to fit this impossible shape that will please me #we are friends and i care about you regardless of my nature and i do not blame you #i was burned very hard ~a year ago by an FP and it has left lasting psychological scars i am still grappling with. that is not your fault #it isn't even MY fault #which is the hardest part to accept i think #i am seeing my therapist tomorrow and i will probably bring this up. we're very new to each other but this is like My Biggest Struggle #so i should make a point of telling him lmao #anyway. thanks for reading the tags. i think i might take a nap #bpd posting #tox.txt

[cathymee]

promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'

#there were already so many from years ago who have posted and shared theirs #except theirs weren't as detailed; just the general summary for each topic #and mine are more detailed and i'm also contemplating translating them to tagalog #like this could serve as y'know. notes they could refer to to prepare themselves for the upcoming topics they'd tackle #but also...would i be robbing them of the experience to learn things on the pace their own teachers are setting? #in my own experience i only sought notes in the first few weeks of classes to ease myself into each subs and to learn what i'd be- #getting myself into #but i had fun just anticipating the upcoming topics without knowing anything about them #idk...is this just the result of me constantly mourning the state of the educational system in terms of the garbage curriculum and the- #general unpreparedness of most youths in choosing their tracks especially after the setback that the pandemic has brought on that are still #not given attention to by this garbage administration #combine that with the study of humanities & social science being looked down/underestimated by most filipinos #no wonder they're picking the stupidest and useless politicians & public servants. no wonder they're not paying much attention to the- #credentials of people they're electing to lead the country. ngayon letche-letche HGGSGAHSHAJS #anyway so many of the humss students i know chose careers that aren't consistent with their track and it's sad to see. sayang 2 years my- #loves :') #sigh......gonna do it now anyway #brain be very scattered rn. hate that <3 #catdrain #rambles #non fandom

[ultimateinferno]

So I've been doing some art research before doing a portrait of one of my OCs because she comes from very Prim and Proper Victorian Nobility and wanted to really study those kinds of paintings from the era which... there's a shit ton of etsy ad facsimiles out there that really corrupt the pool of references, but Wikimedia has a collection of portraits that are actually from the Era and let me tell you, a lot are just great

I Know'd It Was Ripe by Thomas Hovenden

This kid's smile is just infectious.

Girl from Megara by Georgios Iakovidis

She's not having it!

Portrait of a Woman by Simon Hollosy

The warmth in her eyes. I trust her implicitly.

Laughing Girl by Fritz von Udhe

I think this one is my favorite. The warm lighting. The pose. Her smile. I might genuinely try to do a full study on this.

A lot of these weren't the particular style I was going for (the uptight noble portrait) but they do very much provide a window for me into this era that created the one I am making.

#art #victorian era #art history #19th century #1800s #1800s art #late 1800s #19th century art #painting #when i showed the first painting to a friend he sort of recoiled at the subject and title #i think the fact that this is a very well made portrait made in a post civil war america—theres far worse ways it could have gone #and i think the fact this painting exists at all speaks a lot because given the social environment #many artists would have likely overlooked him as a choice of subject #but knowing nothing else about the context of the painting or the kid's relation to the painter: #he looks genuinely proud of what he has! did he grow it himself or buy it from the market? who knows! but he fucking nailed it regardless #the title is certainly AAVE no doubt about it but my gut tells me its simply a direct quote with no other strings attached #its simply adding onto him reveling in his own pride #idk its just such a clear window into this life of this one kid from 140 years ago and it makes me smile to see him be happy

[ghcstcd]

"I am Fr. Avidità, and this is my assistant, Fr. Omega." Terzo gestured to the large, Stoic man beside him with a closed lip smile. His fondness barely contained. The woman squirmed nervously in her seat beneath the ghoul's piercing gaze.

"Why does he wear a mask?" She asked, voice polite yet hushed as she leaned closer to Terzo's side. Her eyes unable to move from the imposing creature.

Terzo chuckled. "Ah, you see, his face is too handsome. We had to cover it as not to tempt any demons into possess him." Omega rolled his eyes.

#The ghost writing on your walls #terzo travelling priest au #idk if that's what I'll actually call it but it works for now #ghost fanfiction #Fr. is the abreviation for “father” #Avidità is merely a name given to Terzo when he became Cardinal many years ago #his birth name is Alessandro #so many hc revealed in one post smh

[liinos]

it's crayz bc i know my sisters will vent to each other about me/talk about me when i'm not there but *i* can't do that with either or them bc they always tell the other and it's like 🧍🏻‍♀️ well who am i supposed to vent to then🧍🏻‍♀️

#like i can. but i also in the back of my mind am like well this will probably get back to the one i'm venting about and then she'll be mad #so like. i'll just subject you guys to it bc a girlie needs to be able to vent for sanity #saur annoying tho i'll show my sister Anything like i'll send her a reel or a dance vid (bc she also likes kpop) and she Always #has to nitpick every single thing about it and *she* knows best of course bc she did xyz 20 years ago like girl.... #like i'll send her stuff being like i like this or i think this looks neat and suddenly she's an expert on singing and dancing 🧍🏻‍♀️ #and i know some stuff you can be like well that sucked without knowing anything bc you have eyes/ears but she Is an expert ofc #like i'm not sending her shit being like omg this is the most amazing dance ever this person is a Perfect Singer... #she also has Such internalized misogyny that she will bring up unprompted and it's always word for word the same thing like you cannot #complain about our other sister saying the same things a lot WHEN YOU DO THE SAME... #not even just about that but like in general she will bring up a topic unprompted and it's the same spiel every. single. time #i know we all repeat things we only have so many things to bring up but like. it drives me Nuts it's like a script #and i don't think she realizes she does it given that she complains about other people doing it but jfc girl #but her whole being the most special person ever thing coupled with the i'm an expert bc i did this 20 years ago thing... driving me insane #and her most special person thing coupled with the internalized misogyny... once again you are in your 30s please work on that #like it's so tired. it's been done it's run it's course let's move past it

[novelconcepts]

The way I just politely wait for Paper Girls to finish streaming in my office so I can start it all over again. Super normal. Very lacking in deranged hope.

#paper girls #save paper girls #honestly I haven’t properly sat and done a watch in a minute because it makes me feel hopeless and sad at this point #but I’ve actually watched it probably 40 times by now and streamed it at least a hundred more #like if I time it correctly I can do three full streams a day #this is math I am deeply familiar with by now #morbidly curious how many views have been notched under my account alone…and stupidly hopeful legendary is still tracking that shit #far as I know they’re still shopping it. last I heard two weeks ago cliff said he understood they believed it had potential #god I hope he was right and that shakes out #like. that’s all I want by this point. I’m so simple. save paper girls. #the rest of the media world I’ve pretty much given up on caring about until usher drops next year so… #chop chop folks. pick up my show.

[glimmeringpersonality]

it feels so good to be so young and have this fun and be successful

i’m so successful

listen listen listen

i have a CAREER, i’m making that SCHMONEY, i’m with the man of my DREAMS, i have so many good friends, i’m READING again, i’m being ARTISTIC again.

i am FLOURISHING

man im so thankful for it all

#i turn 27 in a few days and i’m just reflecting a bit #two years ago i had no idea what would unfold for me. i’m just so happy with where how the universe has aligned things for me #like i’ve never had so many friends love me just as much as i love them. i’ve always given way more than the other party. but this time #i’m being MATCHED #i’m gonna be gross about my love for my boyfriend so continue if you dare #i’ve never had a man care for me as much as T does. #like seriously none of my previous relationships would have gone out of their way to set up a birthday party for me. THEMED AND ALL #HES LITERALLY MAKING SIMPLE SYRUP FOR MY FAVORITE DRINK ON SATURDAY #FROM SCRATCH!! LITERALLY GONNA JUICE A BILLION LIMES FOR MOJITOS ON SATURDAY LKKE WTF HES PUTTING FORTH E F F O R T #MADE AND SENT OUT INVITATIONS!!!!!! #MADE A KARAOKE THEMED PARTY. I DID NOTHJNG!!!!! didn’t even ask for this party but he wants to CELEBRATE ME #what the fuck #he makes me feel so many things #personal #i DESERVE GOOD THINGS #i really am so lucky