#for the record I am extremely unserious about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vipier · 2 months

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karaoke night with tristan patel. he doesn’t want to go. he’s forced. but if you get him out and are extremely lucky, you’ll get just one or some combination of the following progression of selections, anywhere from one to four, depending on how unhinged the night is and any other possible substances involved. this is also assuming his mood doesn’t go sour after drinking and he decides to pick fights with people or gamble irresponsibly instead. also keep in mind that, if anybody has witnessed any of this, he deeply wishes they hadn’t even if he won’t actually say it. there is exactly none of this he’s proud of.

sober to two drinks: tequila by the champs and only tequila. absolutely deadpan. he’s been forced into this and everyone’s gonna know it.

three drinks: boat drinks by jimmy buffett or kokomo by the beach boys.

four drinks: (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones or heartache tonight by the eagles.

five drinks: oh! darling by the beatles or why don’t we get drunk by jimmy buffett.

six drinks: brown eyed girl by van morrison or take me home country roads by john denver.

seven drinks: crocodile rock by elton john or come and get your love by redbone.

the fabled eight drinks: big ten inch record by aerosmith or hooked on a feeling by blue swede.

special mentions: go all the way by the raspberries or ( interestingly ) rule the world by take could happen at any time after four drinks. he can also occasionally be talked into why did it have to be me by abba with someone else after five drinks. friends in low places by garth brooks might happen if he’s absolutely going THROUGH IT. ( he’ll be blackout for that last one, not because he doesn’t love the song but because he’s having a VERY BAD DAY if he’s choosing to sing it in public. it’s probably a breakup. no, he doesn’t want to talk about it. he’s singing most of this song lying on his back on the bar with the microphone. )

i cannot emphasize enough how absolutely silly this is as a headcanon to even exist but also how dead serious i am about the accuracy here. as in, this is unserious as it comes but it’s also 1000% true.

#FINE. FINE. it’s been requested. so. here you go.#this is also a fun peek into tristan’s musical taste which you would frankly not expect from him.#he in fact DOES listen to music like a middle class boomer dad.#but then again it’s hard to imagine there’s anything tristan patel enjoys let alone these genres of music #alcohol mention /

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navree · 1 year

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Am i the only one who trust Eustace more than Mushroom? Sure Eustace has his own agenda, however i feel most of the things that he said did happen unlike Mushroom who over sexualised everything.

I don't get this idea, that Eustace is extremely pro-Aegon ii , because all of Aegon's flaws come directly from Eustace . His habit of whoring around, his alcoholism, his laziness, his gluttony , etc..

All the things Mushroom has said about Aegon

1/Mushroom claims that Aegon was doing something unholy with 12y while standing naked in the middle of the child fighting pit like some cartoonish DC villain

2/Aegon get his little dragon burned off . But somehow was still able to feel lust and he "forced" Mushroom to perform some live porn so Aegon could jerk off

3/ After Sunfyre died , Aegon sat on a large egg waiting for it to hatch like some fucking chicken

"His grace sat on a large purple and gold egg for a day and a night, hoping to hatch it"

Sorry, but Mushroom is so fucking unserious LMAO

Mushroom is an idiot, I don't trust anyone who actually takes him at his word. Mushroom is literally a plot device so that GRRM can include salacious things without breaking his determined format (most serious historical chroniclers don't really record rumors of sexual perversions and whatnot that we might come to expect from ASOIAF, so to be true to form he just stuck Mushroom in as this 'no one believes him but we'll mention him anyway' kind of thing so we can have some sex stuff in the book).

Eustace has an agenda, and he probably was pro-Aegon, but that doesn't necessarily preclude him from being a somewhat reliable historian. You can have a preference for someone you're writing about, but still include facts about who they were (and Aegon's bad habits don't seem to have been kept secret) and be able to marginally tell the truth about them. Eustace's pro-Aegon slant doesn't disqualify him from being semi-reliable, it just means that you have to look at what he says carefully, like with every other chronicler in the book, and he's certainly more reliable than fucking Mushroom. The two ideas can co-exist peacefully enough.

#personal #answered #anonymous #literally how can you be expected to be taken seriously if you're unironically using mushroom as a source

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weretheones · 1 year

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May I ask why you don’t write smut? If it’s too personal you don’t have to answer (ofc you don’t have to answer either way), and it’s not a problem or anything I’m just curious! Love your fics btw!!

hi!

this might be really long bc I love to ramble so here's a tldr: writing about sex in detail just feels too vulnerable sometimes. when i'm able to get over that, I don't have much practice writing smut which makes me very critical of my work lol. I might still dabble time to time (like I did with no rush), but it won't be consistent.

longer answer below

I started writing fic at 13ish. I obviously didn't write smut then, so when I came back to fic at 21 last year, I just never really considered it? I was so used to writing other content that I didn't feel like it was something I needed to do, you know?

then more recently, when I thought about trying smut, I felt weird actually writing it. partly because I have the comedic maturity of a 14 year old boy, so anything sexual (aka all of it) had me giggling and anything I wrote was completely unserious. though its mostly because I have a boyfriend in real life (my REAL babygirl). we've been together a longggg time and I guess sex is has just become a very intimate thing for me, like it is for a lot of people, so I feel extremely vulnerable/exposed writing about it. I know its fictional and just because I write it doesn't mean I'm actually involved, but its still coming from my head... so it just feels weird.

for the record: my bf knows I write fanfic about daryl/twd. he's very supportive and just happy that I have a fun hobby. he doesn't care if I write smut, I just don't always want to lol.

anyway, I still like to experiment sometimes (lets be real... when i'm horny), even if I am highly critical of it. I love a good suggestive scene, too! idk if I'll ever write a full smut scene (like p in v), but I do have some... unhinged... drafts. maybe even some plans for all you got... we'll see.

thank you for being respectful in ur ask! I don't mind the curiosity, as long as you're kind (like you were). thank you for the love, too <3

#m answers #ab smut

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